Wildflower0214 Posted May 15, 2015 Author Share Posted May 15, 2015 Btdt, thank you, you always help me feel less alone. I know you always know how this goes. I think there is a unique nastiness about Effexor that you totally understand... Blue, I've followed your story. I don't comment much because I just can't at the moment. But, I empathize with your struggle. And I'm so sorry for you. Thank you for the encouragement. I hope someday we will have the opportunity to have families. I pray so. LL, yes it is so frustrating that no amount of explaining could ever ever ever come close to giving an accurate depiction of what this is like. No one will ever know, unless they have been through it. No one. Broken, no worries, I've been off the map for quite some time here. I don't come around very often anymore.. It's better for me that way. I Hope you find some relief. Hopefully, the new physical therapy you have found will do some good. On another note, I did some research on birth control because I had cold turkey quit it about two months before my anxiety started years ago. I was probably a bit anxious all my life, but never in any way needed meds and functioned pretty normally, until all of the sudden it just smacked me, and I ended up on Lexepro. So, birth control destroys gut flora and also you are supposed to wean off. I quit cold turkey, 2 months later ended up with anxiety and on meds. My OBGYN told me to cold turkey it. So, in addition to adrenal chaos, which caused POTS, and PCOS, I ended up with withdrawal induced hormone insanity from CT the pill. 2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor..... 5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses. Link to comment
Frustrated Posted May 15, 2015 Share Posted May 15, 2015 I always love to see your name up in the list. I haven't been on lately either because I just can't. Feeling too badly. But I do think of you often and hope that you will turn a corner soon and start feeling human again. Lots of hugs and love. 2002-put on amitryptiline for fibromyalgia. 10mg.2004-stopped abruptly. Didn't think it helped.2006 approx.-put on Paxil for mild anxiety 20 mg.2007 upped to 40 mg. not sure why.2011- tapered from 40 to 10. went nuts and went back to 20mg2014- tapered from 20mg to 0 from April to The end of June.current meds- Metformin(type 2 diabetic) and low dose aspirin.Take multi vitamin and vit b12, vit. D and magnesium. 5 months off Paxil. Still suffering.recently added 1.2mg of Paxil to alleviate withdrawals.(Nov 30)Dropped to .9mg because having symptoms from reinstatement.(dec 23)<p>taper to .76mg-.8mg (Feb 3) approx. weight .010 to about .008-.009 on scale..6mg (march 19th.) .5mg(April 19th).4mg(April 27th).2 (June 27th) 0mg. done taper at beginning of August. Link to comment
Wildflower0214 Posted May 15, 2015 Author Share Posted May 15, 2015 Thank you F. So sorry you are having so much pain... I pray for us all. I totally understand not being able to be here... I think I'm better off not to be, for the most part. I hope we all turn a corner soon. Seems a good few of us have been in the crapper together for quite some time. 2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor..... 5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses. Link to comment
luv2knit Posted May 15, 2015 Share Posted May 15, 2015 I'm having a rough day today. One of the worst in a long time. Good to see you on, though, WF. Prayers. Zoloft 100 mg. daily for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome since Oct. 1994 / Synthroid 88 mcg. daily / Supplements: Neptune Krill Oil-1,000 mg. twice daily/Astaxanthin 10 mg. twice daily/Ubiquinol 100 mg. twice daily (These 3 have allowed me to discontinue (approved by doctor) bp meds I was on. Calcium Citrate 500 mg. daily/Vitamin D3 2,400 iu daily/K2 (MK7) 100 mcg daily (osteopenia and fam. hist. of severe osteoporosis). Stress B Complex (1/2 dose)/Quercetin (for allergies/asthma)/Magnesium (400 mg. oral glycinate and about 50 mg. magnesium chloride spray oil a day, divided throughout day). Tapered Zoloft about 6 wks. Totally off since the end of July (25-29, 2014). 3 wks. vertigo at end of taper, then 3-4 wks. OK, followed by withdrawal symptoms increasing in severity (nausea, gastric disturbances, loss of appetite, insomnia, restlessness, jitters, anxiety, agitation--jumping out of my skin--possible akathisia?) Seem to have paradoxical reactions to everything new, even Vitamin C. Severity of akathisia comes and goes, but is constant to some degree. Hard to leave house, and cannot be home alone. (Retired) Link to comment
Frustrated Posted May 15, 2015 Share Posted May 15, 2015 True alot of us have been in the crapper. I certainly feel like a giant turd lol. 2002-put on amitryptiline for fibromyalgia. 10mg.2004-stopped abruptly. Didn't think it helped.2006 approx.-put on Paxil for mild anxiety 20 mg.2007 upped to 40 mg. not sure why.2011- tapered from 40 to 10. went nuts and went back to 20mg2014- tapered from 20mg to 0 from April to The end of June.current meds- Metformin(type 2 diabetic) and low dose aspirin.Take multi vitamin and vit b12, vit. D and magnesium. 5 months off Paxil. Still suffering.recently added 1.2mg of Paxil to alleviate withdrawals.(Nov 30)Dropped to .9mg because having symptoms from reinstatement.(dec 23)<p>taper to .76mg-.8mg (Feb 3) approx. weight .010 to about .008-.009 on scale..6mg (march 19th.) .5mg(April 19th).4mg(April 27th).2 (June 27th) 0mg. done taper at beginning of August. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus WiggleIt Posted May 15, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted May 15, 2015 Wild, I'm freaking out because eating is activating me now, including healthy soft veggies. *I'm not a doctor and don't give medical advice, just personal experience **Off all meds since Nov. 2014. Mentally & emotionally recovered; physically not-Dual cold turkeys off TCA & Ativan in Oct 2014. Prescribed from 2011-2014 -All meds were Rxed off-label for an autoimmune illness. It was a MISDIAGNOSIS, but I did not find out until AFTER meds caused damage. All med tapers/cold turkeys directed by doctors -Nortriptyline May 2012 - Dec 2013. Cold turkey off nortrip & cold switched to desipramine -Desipramine Jan 2014 - Oct. 29, 2014 (rapid taper/cold turkey) -Lorazepam 1 mg per night during 2011 -Lorazepam 1 mg per month in 2012 (or less) -Lorazepam on & off, Dec 2013 through Aug 2014. Didn't exceed 3x a week -Lorazepam again in Oct. 2014 to help get off of desipramine. Last dose lzpam was 1 mg, Nov. 2, 2014. Immediate paradoxical reactions to benzos after stopping TCAs -First muscle/dystonia side effects started on nortriptyline, but docs too stupid to figure it out. On desipramine, muscle tremors & rigidity worsened -Two weeks after I got off all meds, I developed full-blown TD. Tardive dystonia, dyskinesia, myoclonic jerks ALL over body, ribcage wiggles, facial tics, twitching tongue & fingers, tremors/twitches of arms, legs, cognitive impairment, throat muscles semi-paralyzed & unable to swallow solid food, brain zaps, ears ring, dizzy, everything looks too far away, insomnia, numbness & electric shocks everywhere when I try to fall asleep, jerk awake from sleep with big, gasping breaths, wake with terrors & tremors, severely depressed. NO HISTORY OF DEPRESSION, EVER. Meds CREATED it. -Month 7: hair falling out; no vision improvement; still tardive dystonia; facial & tongue tics returned -Month 8: back to acute, incl. Grand Mal seizure-like episodes. New mental torment, PGAD, worse insomnia -Month 9: tardive dystonia worse, dyskinesia returned. Unable to breathe well due to dystonia in stomach, chest, throat -Month 13: Back to acute, brain zaps back, developed eczema & stomach problems. Left leg no longer works right due to dystonia, meaning both legs now damaged -7 years off: Huge improvements, incl. improved dystonia Link to comment
Wildflower0214 Posted May 16, 2015 Author Share Posted May 16, 2015 Luv, I'm sorry. I'm praying. F, ya, we all live in the crapper.. Praying W, don't freak out, no point. Try to focus on something else... And, if you do get sensitized to food, you will survive, just like Ive been forced to for 6 months. And, it will eventually go away. Just don't freak out. You are sick enough without any other fun symptom add ons. praying for you. 2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor..... 5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses. Link to comment
AliG Posted May 16, 2015 Share Posted May 16, 2015 Just checking in W.F. I have been reading "The Power Of Now". It helps. "Moment by moment", Step by Step". This is teaching us "patience". I hope you're doing ok. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
btdt Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 Btdt, thank you, you always help me feel less alone. I know you always know how this goes. I think there is a unique nastiness about Effexor that you totally understand... Blue, I've followed your story. I don't comment much because I just can't at the moment. But, I empathize with your struggle. And I'm so sorry for you. Thank you for the encouragement. I hope someday we will have the opportunity to have families. I pray so. LL, yes it is so frustrating that no amount of explaining could ever ever ever come close to giving an accurate depiction of what this is like. No one will ever know, unless they have been through it. No one. Broken, no worries, I've been off the map for quite some time here. I don't come around very often anymore.. It's better for me that way. I Hope you find some relief. Hopefully, the new physical therapy you have found will do some good. On another note, I did some research on birth control because I had cold turkey quit it about two months before my anxiety started years ago. I was probably a bit anxious all my life, but never in any way needed meds and functioned pretty normally, until all of the sudden it just smacked me, and I ended up on Lexepro. So, birth control destroys gut flora and also you are supposed to wean off. I quit cold turkey, 2 months later ended up with anxiety and on meds. My OBGYN told me to cold turkey it. So, in addition to adrenal chaos, which caused POTS, and PCOS, I ended up with withdrawal induced hormone insanity from CT the pill. Have they checked your hormones lately? I am not sure I would mess with them much as they scare the crap out of me but I think it interesting to know what is going on in our bodies when we are going thru this I wish I had my checked more and I had plently of checks before I went off Effexor. Here is my history with this that may make some sense for you or others who come after us. I had a child when I was 17 used other method of bc before that which obviously did not work. After the birth I went on bc pills. My legs hurt I had head aches. I complained and was told it would get better as time went on. In the 3rd month I had a headache that lasted days my doc sent me to have an eye test my eyes were fine. Within a wk of that I had a transient ischemic attack.. a small stroke. Numb tongue could not see half of the room could not communicate fell into bed people thought I was sleeping so did I. Turns out I wasn't just sleeping and had I had some fallout when I woke up. Back at the doc I had the dx and was put on asprin .. which I can't touch now messes me up bad. Had an assesment with a neuro doc ... whos file on me is mysteriously empty now... as I called not that long ago to ask. So it would appear I had a drug induced TIA did my doc report it I sure didn't I had enough to do with a small baby and trying to live. I was told at the time I could never have any sort of hormone replacement therapy ever again as to do so would risk my life. When I was near my love affair with effexor I did not have a gp could not get one shortage where I lived. I traveled to different hosp and clinics trying to find out what was wrong with me. I had 6 hormonal tests in 6 months... the results were different 5 time... from per menopausal to post menopausal to pregnant to pre pubescent yep everything but a man. When I stopped effexor my period stopped and never returned. What it means dambed if I know but there are some facts such as they are. Oh and btw my eye sight that was find before the TIA is really bad now it took nose dive while I was on Effexor and has gone from bad to worse. I never had a migraine before the TIA now I am plagued with them... post Effexor they are worse. So not sure what it means if anything but these drugs mess with our hormones so do bd pills both can hurt us. I was told that after my problem with bc pills I likely should never been given any antidepressants... one clinic doc who thought he was up on genetics had that to say. Day late and a dollar short is what I said to him... take what you want and leave the rest. maybe all woman here should have their hormones tested in wd and post their results would be an interesting experiment WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
luv2knit Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 Thinking of you, WF!! Prayers. Zoloft 100 mg. daily for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome since Oct. 1994 / Synthroid 88 mcg. daily / Supplements: Neptune Krill Oil-1,000 mg. twice daily/Astaxanthin 10 mg. twice daily/Ubiquinol 100 mg. twice daily (These 3 have allowed me to discontinue (approved by doctor) bp meds I was on. Calcium Citrate 500 mg. daily/Vitamin D3 2,400 iu daily/K2 (MK7) 100 mcg daily (osteopenia and fam. hist. of severe osteoporosis). Stress B Complex (1/2 dose)/Quercetin (for allergies/asthma)/Magnesium (400 mg. oral glycinate and about 50 mg. magnesium chloride spray oil a day, divided throughout day). Tapered Zoloft about 6 wks. Totally off since the end of July (25-29, 2014). 3 wks. vertigo at end of taper, then 3-4 wks. OK, followed by withdrawal symptoms increasing in severity (nausea, gastric disturbances, loss of appetite, insomnia, restlessness, jitters, anxiety, agitation--jumping out of my skin--possible akathisia?) Seem to have paradoxical reactions to everything new, even Vitamin C. Severity of akathisia comes and goes, but is constant to some degree. Hard to leave house, and cannot be home alone. (Retired) Link to comment
Wildflower0214 Posted May 24, 2015 Author Share Posted May 24, 2015 Thank you Luv. I got a little bit of a break, and now I am back in the crapper. I'm reacting to food and I don't know what to do. I can barely eat as it is. This is hell. 2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor..... 5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses. Link to comment
Frustrated Posted May 24, 2015 Share Posted May 24, 2015 Sorry you are living at the bottom of the toilet bowl again. Thought I recognized you! I am the one in the corner lol. Beside Luv and Pug. Still praying for all of us. 2002-put on amitryptiline for fibromyalgia. 10mg.2004-stopped abruptly. Didn't think it helped.2006 approx.-put on Paxil for mild anxiety 20 mg.2007 upped to 40 mg. not sure why.2011- tapered from 40 to 10. went nuts and went back to 20mg2014- tapered from 20mg to 0 from April to The end of June.current meds- Metformin(type 2 diabetic) and low dose aspirin.Take multi vitamin and vit b12, vit. D and magnesium. 5 months off Paxil. Still suffering.recently added 1.2mg of Paxil to alleviate withdrawals.(Nov 30)Dropped to .9mg because having symptoms from reinstatement.(dec 23)<p>taper to .76mg-.8mg (Feb 3) approx. weight .010 to about .008-.009 on scale..6mg (march 19th.) .5mg(April 19th).4mg(April 27th).2 (June 27th) 0mg. done taper at beginning of August. Link to comment
btdt Posted May 24, 2015 Share Posted May 24, 2015 A break of any size or sort is a good sign a really good sign. When some foods I could eat went bust on me I would carefully try others... for a long time it was broth and boiled carrots and potato... I added brown rice without to much trouble in the broth every little bit helps a tablespoon of cereal... bits like that. At one point I tried baby food and pablum ...yuck... I hated it. I hope it eases for you soon. peace WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
AliG Posted May 24, 2015 Share Posted May 24, 2015 I hope things ease up for you soon, WF. Wishing you a "window". Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
luv2knit Posted May 24, 2015 Share Posted May 24, 2015 Glad you got a little bit of a break--not glad you're reacting to food! We can't win, can we?! I believe the "break" is a sign it can/will get better, though. Prayers. XOXO Zoloft 100 mg. daily for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome since Oct. 1994 / Synthroid 88 mcg. daily / Supplements: Neptune Krill Oil-1,000 mg. twice daily/Astaxanthin 10 mg. twice daily/Ubiquinol 100 mg. twice daily (These 3 have allowed me to discontinue (approved by doctor) bp meds I was on. Calcium Citrate 500 mg. daily/Vitamin D3 2,400 iu daily/K2 (MK7) 100 mcg daily (osteopenia and fam. hist. of severe osteoporosis). Stress B Complex (1/2 dose)/Quercetin (for allergies/asthma)/Magnesium (400 mg. oral glycinate and about 50 mg. magnesium chloride spray oil a day, divided throughout day). Tapered Zoloft about 6 wks. Totally off since the end of July (25-29, 2014). 3 wks. vertigo at end of taper, then 3-4 wks. OK, followed by withdrawal symptoms increasing in severity (nausea, gastric disturbances, loss of appetite, insomnia, restlessness, jitters, anxiety, agitation--jumping out of my skin--possible akathisia?) Seem to have paradoxical reactions to everything new, even Vitamin C. Severity of akathisia comes and goes, but is constant to some degree. Hard to leave house, and cannot be home alone. (Retired) Link to comment
Wildflower0214 Posted May 25, 2015 Author Share Posted May 25, 2015 Frustrated, yes, we have been platinum members of the crapper club since early Fall.. I'm still praying. Hang in there friend. Just keep hanging on to the side of the toilette. That's where we all are. At least we aren't alone. Btdt, ya, I remember you telling me about when you had trouble with food. I will just keep trying one little bit at a time. Thanks for always checking on me... You were the first one to help me at all here and you are still so vigilent in making sure I'm supported. Thank you friend. Ali, thanks for the support! I pray I can eat and sleep regularly. I think if those two things evened out a bit, I would heal considerably. Thanks for the well wishes and your compassion. It is always appreciated Luv, no, no breaks for us. If it isn't one thing it's another. Thanks for praying. Love you and I continue to pray for you always. I'm sorry for not posting on others threads. It's a trigger for me for whatever reason. I'm in some kind of hypervigelence about.....well, everything. I do read threads when I can and think of you all often. 2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor..... 5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses. Link to comment
Wildflower0214 Posted May 25, 2015 Author Share Posted May 25, 2015 Just checking in W.F. I have been reading "The Power Of Now". It helps. "Moment by moment", Step by Step". This is teaching us "patience". I hope you're doing ok. Yes, I'm quite impatient. So, this is totally fun for me! I have to learn to stay in the moment. So terribly hard. I want to learn some mindfulness techniques as I get better. 2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor..... 5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses. Link to comment
btdt Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 Buy the book the power of now it is good... peace WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
Wildflower0214 Posted June 7, 2015 Author Share Posted June 7, 2015 11 months off Effexor as of yesterday. Still feel like crap...fun times all around. I have all kinds of symptoms, yet I have no interest in listing them. I don't even care anymore. It is what it is. Writing about it doesn't seem to help me like it once did. That's about it. 2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor..... 5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses. Link to comment
Wildflower0214 Posted June 7, 2015 Author Share Posted June 7, 2015 This is a nightmare 2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor..... 5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses. Link to comment
Wildflower0214 Posted June 7, 2015 Author Share Posted June 7, 2015 The only reason I will ever forgive anyone and everyone who was involved in my ending up on these meds and for my current miserable state is because God gives me no choice in the matter. If I were left to my own devices, I would easily find all of this completely and utterly unforgivable. I literally despise anyone who had anything to do with this. Actually, I pretty much despise most eveyone. It's awful. I hate being like this. Anger isn't even close to the way I feel. Rage is not even quite fitting. There are no words. There never ever will be. 2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor..... 5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses. Link to comment
Member cymbaltawithdrawal5600 Posted June 7, 2015 Member Share Posted June 7, 2015 I know you won't believe me (the recovery period you are in prevents it) but this too shall pass. I went through it myself. You just need to let some of it out (like releasing through a steam valve so a boiler doesn't blow up) but not so much that it becomes a permanent way of life. When the time comes and your recovery has progressed, you will become more engaged in life and these kinds of thoughts will be less prominent. I still have them on occasion, but they do not bring a flood of tears or a flash of anger like they used to. But no one here seems to believe what I say so take from it what you will. I have the type of mind that studies the nuances of this stuff (withdrawal thinking) and I am still close enough to the worst period of protracted wd that I remember it, though the memories are getting dimmer unless I read something here that triggers a thought. So don't get too attached to anything (the good OR the bad) because it will pass. That is why I don't really favour the 'windows and waves' concept as used by most people here. They pray for windows and revile waves. Instead I found it more helpful to cultivate an attitude of 'hanging on -ness' because I full well understood at some point that the good never came without the bad. it is all a process of returning to a state of being not like anything before it. Your whole body has to recover and remodel after the ADs are removed and then don't forget your body has been aging all of this time too. This Too Shall Pass, really. What happened and how I arrived here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4243-cymbaltawithdrawal5600-introduction/#entry50878 July 2016 I have decided to leave my story here at SA unfinished. I have left my contact information in my profile for anyone who wishes to talk to me. I have a posting history spanning nearly 4 years and 3000+ posts all over the site. Thank you to all who participated in my recovery. I'll miss talking to you but know that I'll be cheering you on from the sidelines, suffering and rejoicing with you in spirit, as you go on in your journey. Link to comment
luv2knit Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 (((WF))) At 10.5 months off, I totally get what you are saying. CW--I guess I'm at that stage too, where it's difficult to believe anything is ever going to change for the better. Thanks for the reminder that it will. Zoloft 100 mg. daily for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome since Oct. 1994 / Synthroid 88 mcg. daily / Supplements: Neptune Krill Oil-1,000 mg. twice daily/Astaxanthin 10 mg. twice daily/Ubiquinol 100 mg. twice daily (These 3 have allowed me to discontinue (approved by doctor) bp meds I was on. Calcium Citrate 500 mg. daily/Vitamin D3 2,400 iu daily/K2 (MK7) 100 mcg daily (osteopenia and fam. hist. of severe osteoporosis). Stress B Complex (1/2 dose)/Quercetin (for allergies/asthma)/Magnesium (400 mg. oral glycinate and about 50 mg. magnesium chloride spray oil a day, divided throughout day). Tapered Zoloft about 6 wks. Totally off since the end of July (25-29, 2014). 3 wks. vertigo at end of taper, then 3-4 wks. OK, followed by withdrawal symptoms increasing in severity (nausea, gastric disturbances, loss of appetite, insomnia, restlessness, jitters, anxiety, agitation--jumping out of my skin--possible akathisia?) Seem to have paradoxical reactions to everything new, even Vitamin C. Severity of akathisia comes and goes, but is constant to some degree. Hard to leave house, and cannot be home alone. (Retired) Link to comment
Frustrated Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 11 and a half months and I am in the club too. Hard to see any hope on the horizon. Still praying Wildflower. 2002-put on amitryptiline for fibromyalgia. 10mg.2004-stopped abruptly. Didn't think it helped.2006 approx.-put on Paxil for mild anxiety 20 mg.2007 upped to 40 mg. not sure why.2011- tapered from 40 to 10. went nuts and went back to 20mg2014- tapered from 20mg to 0 from April to The end of June.current meds- Metformin(type 2 diabetic) and low dose aspirin.Take multi vitamin and vit b12, vit. D and magnesium. 5 months off Paxil. Still suffering.recently added 1.2mg of Paxil to alleviate withdrawals.(Nov 30)Dropped to .9mg because having symptoms from reinstatement.(dec 23)<p>taper to .76mg-.8mg (Feb 3) approx. weight .010 to about .008-.009 on scale..6mg (march 19th.) .5mg(April 19th).4mg(April 27th).2 (June 27th) 0mg. done taper at beginning of August. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus WiggleIt Posted June 7, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted June 7, 2015 Wildflower... God help us. *I'm not a doctor and don't give medical advice, just personal experience **Off all meds since Nov. 2014. Mentally & emotionally recovered; physically not-Dual cold turkeys off TCA & Ativan in Oct 2014. Prescribed from 2011-2014 -All meds were Rxed off-label for an autoimmune illness. It was a MISDIAGNOSIS, but I did not find out until AFTER meds caused damage. All med tapers/cold turkeys directed by doctors -Nortriptyline May 2012 - Dec 2013. Cold turkey off nortrip & cold switched to desipramine -Desipramine Jan 2014 - Oct. 29, 2014 (rapid taper/cold turkey) -Lorazepam 1 mg per night during 2011 -Lorazepam 1 mg per month in 2012 (or less) -Lorazepam on & off, Dec 2013 through Aug 2014. Didn't exceed 3x a week -Lorazepam again in Oct. 2014 to help get off of desipramine. Last dose lzpam was 1 mg, Nov. 2, 2014. Immediate paradoxical reactions to benzos after stopping TCAs -First muscle/dystonia side effects started on nortriptyline, but docs too stupid to figure it out. On desipramine, muscle tremors & rigidity worsened -Two weeks after I got off all meds, I developed full-blown TD. Tardive dystonia, dyskinesia, myoclonic jerks ALL over body, ribcage wiggles, facial tics, twitching tongue & fingers, tremors/twitches of arms, legs, cognitive impairment, throat muscles semi-paralyzed & unable to swallow solid food, brain zaps, ears ring, dizzy, everything looks too far away, insomnia, numbness & electric shocks everywhere when I try to fall asleep, jerk awake from sleep with big, gasping breaths, wake with terrors & tremors, severely depressed. NO HISTORY OF DEPRESSION, EVER. Meds CREATED it. -Month 7: hair falling out; no vision improvement; still tardive dystonia; facial & tongue tics returned -Month 8: back to acute, incl. Grand Mal seizure-like episodes. New mental torment, PGAD, worse insomnia -Month 9: tardive dystonia worse, dyskinesia returned. Unable to breathe well due to dystonia in stomach, chest, throat -Month 13: Back to acute, brain zaps back, developed eczema & stomach problems. Left leg no longer works right due to dystonia, meaning both legs now damaged -7 years off: Huge improvements, incl. improved dystonia Link to comment
luv2knit Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 Praying for all of us! Zoloft 100 mg. daily for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome since Oct. 1994 / Synthroid 88 mcg. daily / Supplements: Neptune Krill Oil-1,000 mg. twice daily/Astaxanthin 10 mg. twice daily/Ubiquinol 100 mg. twice daily (These 3 have allowed me to discontinue (approved by doctor) bp meds I was on. Calcium Citrate 500 mg. daily/Vitamin D3 2,400 iu daily/K2 (MK7) 100 mcg daily (osteopenia and fam. hist. of severe osteoporosis). Stress B Complex (1/2 dose)/Quercetin (for allergies/asthma)/Magnesium (400 mg. oral glycinate and about 50 mg. magnesium chloride spray oil a day, divided throughout day). Tapered Zoloft about 6 wks. Totally off since the end of July (25-29, 2014). 3 wks. vertigo at end of taper, then 3-4 wks. OK, followed by withdrawal symptoms increasing in severity (nausea, gastric disturbances, loss of appetite, insomnia, restlessness, jitters, anxiety, agitation--jumping out of my skin--possible akathisia?) Seem to have paradoxical reactions to everything new, even Vitamin C. Severity of akathisia comes and goes, but is constant to some degree. Hard to leave house, and cannot be home alone. (Retired) Link to comment
SelmaLady Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 (((Wildflower))) Thank you so much for posting ..... I have been thinking about you and so hoping that you would. Having those horrible feelings of disgust for everything and everyone is no fun to go through, I know. It is surely NOT you and you know that. Praying that you can sense God strengthening you and helping you to get through this awful time. Love to you. 1971-81 Valium 5mg c/t PAWS 1992- through now Zoloft 25mg 2003-05 Valium 12mg Slow Taper Off 2013 Afrin Exposure to CNS 2013 O/D Val 230mg 2013 Doxepin 50mg Clonidine 2mg Zoloft 25mg 3/15/16 Doxepin 49mg Micro Tapering Zoloft 24.3mg Holding taper 3/15/16 Clonidine mg 0.1 1/2 - Decreasing incrementally. DISCONTINUED 10/9/16 Doxepin 48.9 Zoloft 24.3 Clonidine 01.10 Continuing micro taper on Doxepin. 11/16/16 Doxepin 48mg Zoloft 24.3mg Clonidine 1.30mg 5/4/17 Doxepin 45mg Zoloft 24mg Clonidine 1.20mg Micro taper of Doxepin , Clonidine 01/13/19 Doxepin 45mg Zoloft 21mg Will start Micro taper of Doxepin 2/19 12/21/21 Doxepin 20 mg ? Reducing using water micro taper--Pulling 24ml from 75ml 12/2121 Zoloft .060 grams by weight--HOLDING (info from post added by CC: On 12/21/21 my dosage was .060grams by weight or 20mg. ) 26 Apr 2022 - Zoloft at -0- Link to comment
Broken Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 Patience is a virtue and withdrawal is cruel, especially when patience is something that doesn't come naturally to you. I am and have always been extremely impatient in all walks of life. Maybe this is why I so often feel the need to off myself, 6 months down the line I could be feeling fine but I'd never know because I couldn't endure the seemingly endless wait to find out. Time does fly when you're having fun, unfortunately the opposite is also true. Stay strong and stay alive if only out if spite. December 2008 Prescribed 20mg citalopram (celexa) for depression and OCD.July 2013 stopped taking citalopram (celexa). November 2013 reinstated citalopram (celexa) following replapse at 20mg for 4 weeks, 40mg for 4 weeks and tapered off over 4 weeks as my condition had deteriorated. February 2014 started 20mg of fluoxetine (prozac). Didn't tolerate it and stopped 4 weeks later, experienced no withdrawal. May 2014 started 25mg of sertraline (zoloft), increased to 50mg after 1 week. Remained at 50mg for 4 weeks before increasing to 100mg at the request of my psychiatrist despite advising of suicidal ideation for an additional week before stopping. Advised to drop to 50mg for 3 days before withdrawing altogether. I did as advised and horrendous withdrawal ensued. 11th August 2014 commenced escitalopram (lexapro), weaned off end of October 2014. Commenced Clonazepam December 2014 0.5mg twice daily, switched to Diazepam 10mg twice daily with a view to tapering of the benzodiazepine altogether. Tapering schedule presently at a reduction of 1mg of Diazepam every 1-2 weeks depending upon side effects. So far experienced no severe physical side effects except worsening of PGAD symptoms upon reduction which does seem to improve within a few days of doing so. Presently taking no antidepressants however still experiencing mild agitation, severe depression and PGAD which is currently being treated by a physiotherapist. Link to comment
Pugknows Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 ((((WF)))) There isn't a day that goes by without thinking of you and praying for you. I love you. January 2012 - Prescribed 900mg gabapentin and 30mg Norco for lower lumber spinal stenosis pain. September 2013 - Spinal fusion surgery, 6 levels. Hospital ramped up meds 1500mg gabapentin, 100mg Norco, 80mg Oxycontin, 25mg Fentanyl patch. January 2014 - Sever nausea daily and with back pain every 4 hours. 2 trips to ER. First endoscopy found ulcer. Treated with Sucralfate and PPI. Second endo in May found no ulcers. Doctors said it was the opiates causing the nausea. CT'd Oxycontin, Fentanyl patch. July 2014 - Lost 48 lbs. due to not eating because of severe nausea. GP prescribed Prozac 20mg and Ativan 2mg prn. Tried for 4 days, quit. Two week followup GP said keep taking Prozac. 4 days, quit again. Ativan taken rarely prn for anxiety and appetite. August 2014 - Went to detox. Off opiates. Still nauseous, helmet head, drugged feeling. Doctor CT'd gabapentin. Ended up in ER. Found 2 gallstones. Gabapentin reinstated at 900mg. Tried botched up and down taper to get off Gabapentin. No tapering advice from doctor. Said to just CT again. September 2014 - Coded on table during gallbladder surgery. Developed liver biloma due to CPR by doctor. Had bile bulb inserted for 2 wks to drain. October 2014 - Gallbladder removed. Still nauseous, 3am cortisol surging, drugged helmet head, vertigo, breathlessness, whooshing head, heart palps. November 8th, 2014 - CT'd gabapentin suggested by family and 4 different doctors. Was told no withdrawal is associated with gabapentin. Have been in hell ever since. No windows, just one big tsunami every day with same symptoms for 4 months. December 26, 2014 - Found SA. At least I know I'm not insane. My family thinks I'm doing this to myself. Akathesia has become unbearable. March 10, 2015 - In absolute daily hell with no relief. Currently taking magnesium 200mg before bedtime. Link to comment
Skylarblue75 Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 Been think about you, glad to see you posted recently, sorry to hear your still in the thick of it. Hope your having a calmer day today. As always hugs and prayers Spring of 1998 place on birth control pills for irregular bleeding, high testosterone and one ovarian cyst, stayed on until April 2004, told to take hormone holiday, conceived first son 4 months later-VERY BIG SUPRISE, was told wouldn't be able to have childern or would need reproductive doctor to help. Got pregnant again 2006 with second son easily, then was on/off birthcontrol again until October 2011, concieved 3rd son in October 2011(tried many times to get pregant again when 2nd child was close to 2yrs, hormone problems started again after 2nd child, along with thyroid enlargement. Spring of 2001 celexa 10 mgs-rx'd by pcp for complaints of chronic fatigue, irritability and weight gain, stayed on until June 2005, switched to Lexapro 20mgs for PPD, stayed on Lexapro 6-7 months, couldn't afford to see psyh dr. and Lexapro, saw PCP switched back to 20mgs celexa in 2007, remained on until November 2011, was c/t off due to 3rd pregnancy, baby had umbilical cord defect, seemed ok during pregnancy, except for crying jags here and there. Our miracle baby was born July 20th 2012, healthy except with reflux. One month later the anxiety,restlessness,horrible crying, insomnia and the deepest depression ever. That started the psyh drug nightmare-benzo's,antidepressants, sleeping pills, mood stablizers. Nothing help made me worse, doctors just kept changing the meds frequently. 4 mental health hospitalizations, rapid detox off benzos Jan 2013, horrible withdrawal and still suffering withdrawal symptoms NO ONE BELIEVES ME, I feel like ive been on one consistant drug withdrawal for the past 2 years January 2014 slow titrate up of lexapro to 20 mgs-horrible side effects!!, was just rapidly taper by current pysh off to pursade me to try an MAOI-no way!!! Was told should consider ECT Link to comment
Wildflower0214 Posted June 9, 2015 Author Share Posted June 9, 2015 Guys, thank you. I will respond when I am able. Had to go to doctor today, and he told me I may not get better. He's the one I see for the med I'm still on. I'm pretty much a basket case right now. Weeping and tears and snot. I was 27 when the meds started making me sick, and I'll be 31 in a month!! My life is going down the crapper! It's like watching water go down a drain. 2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor..... 5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses. Link to comment
Frustrated Posted June 9, 2015 Share Posted June 9, 2015 I can't believe he said you may not get better. What medical facts is he basing that on? That was mean. He doesn't know any more about whether you will heal then anyone else. It is pure speculation. I will pray for you. Until someone shows you proof that you will not heal I don't believe it. 2002-put on amitryptiline for fibromyalgia. 10mg.2004-stopped abruptly. Didn't think it helped.2006 approx.-put on Paxil for mild anxiety 20 mg.2007 upped to 40 mg. not sure why.2011- tapered from 40 to 10. went nuts and went back to 20mg2014- tapered from 20mg to 0 from April to The end of June.current meds- Metformin(type 2 diabetic) and low dose aspirin.Take multi vitamin and vit b12, vit. D and magnesium. 5 months off Paxil. Still suffering.recently added 1.2mg of Paxil to alleviate withdrawals.(Nov 30)Dropped to .9mg because having symptoms from reinstatement.(dec 23)<p>taper to .76mg-.8mg (Feb 3) approx. weight .010 to about .008-.009 on scale..6mg (march 19th.) .5mg(April 19th).4mg(April 27th).2 (June 27th) 0mg. done taper at beginning of August. Link to comment
btdt Posted June 9, 2015 Share Posted June 9, 2015 Guys, thank you. I will respond when I am able. Had to go to doctor today, and he told me I may not get better. He's the one I see for the med I'm still on. I'm pretty much a basket case right now. Weeping and tears and snot. I was 27 when the meds started making me sick, and I'll be 31 in a month!! My life is going down the crapper! It's like watching water go down a drain. What does he know he does not have the last word on your life or on you. Screw him as you may well get better and he will not be bothered to salute you then either. If he was so smart why did he put you on these pills to start with. I have had so many of these we got it this time your going to get better bs visits with doctors... I am sorry to be so jaded but half of them or more don`t have a clue what they are doing or so it seems looking back over my own history. I have shed a lot of tears based on doctor analysis those tears were wasted on them ... I hate to see you cry over something that is an opinion... the next doc could say the opposite. I know crying is a big part of wd.. too.. I guess we all will do our share of it. I hope after you calm down you will take my post to heart the truth is he does not know how could he possibly know.. he doesn`t know and said so... he said maybe. He may as well have said nothing and spared you the tears. I wish you peace WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
Pugknows Posted June 9, 2015 Share Posted June 9, 2015 Your doctor is wrong. He also lacks compassion and decency to say that to you. He did you harm, which is not only against the physician's oath, it's against the oath of humanity. At my last doctor visit, I was told the same thing. She then tried to push Paxil on me. Just recently she emailed me and asked me again if I wanted her to write me a script for Paxil. You are going to heal, WF, because God's going to pull you up and out of this hell on earth. Don't you doubt His power for one second. Don't doubt his love for you either. One day you will walk into this doctor's office looking like the picture of perfect health, face glowing, grinning from ear to ear, and you will suggest he find a new line of work that requires less human interaction, like maybe pest control. I'm two-fisted angry he said what he said to you. God knows the beautiful future that awaits you beyond all this suffering. Please believe. Never give up hope. You will heal. This is not permanent. This is a small part of your life and all the pain you are going through will be a faded memory someday. I love you. Pug January 2012 - Prescribed 900mg gabapentin and 30mg Norco for lower lumber spinal stenosis pain. September 2013 - Spinal fusion surgery, 6 levels. Hospital ramped up meds 1500mg gabapentin, 100mg Norco, 80mg Oxycontin, 25mg Fentanyl patch. January 2014 - Sever nausea daily and with back pain every 4 hours. 2 trips to ER. First endoscopy found ulcer. Treated with Sucralfate and PPI. Second endo in May found no ulcers. Doctors said it was the opiates causing the nausea. CT'd Oxycontin, Fentanyl patch. July 2014 - Lost 48 lbs. due to not eating because of severe nausea. GP prescribed Prozac 20mg and Ativan 2mg prn. Tried for 4 days, quit. Two week followup GP said keep taking Prozac. 4 days, quit again. Ativan taken rarely prn for anxiety and appetite. August 2014 - Went to detox. Off opiates. Still nauseous, helmet head, drugged feeling. Doctor CT'd gabapentin. Ended up in ER. Found 2 gallstones. Gabapentin reinstated at 900mg. Tried botched up and down taper to get off Gabapentin. No tapering advice from doctor. Said to just CT again. September 2014 - Coded on table during gallbladder surgery. Developed liver biloma due to CPR by doctor. Had bile bulb inserted for 2 wks to drain. October 2014 - Gallbladder removed. Still nauseous, 3am cortisol surging, drugged helmet head, vertigo, breathlessness, whooshing head, heart palps. November 8th, 2014 - CT'd gabapentin suggested by family and 4 different doctors. Was told no withdrawal is associated with gabapentin. Have been in hell ever since. No windows, just one big tsunami every day with same symptoms for 4 months. December 26, 2014 - Found SA. At least I know I'm not insane. My family thinks I'm doing this to myself. Akathesia has become unbearable. March 10, 2015 - In absolute daily hell with no relief. Currently taking magnesium 200mg before bedtime. Link to comment
Wildflower0214 Posted June 9, 2015 Author Share Posted June 9, 2015 Your doctor is wrong. He also lacks compassion and decency to say that to you. He did you harm, which is not only against the physician's oath, it's against the oath of humanity. At my last doctor visit, I was told the same thing. She then tried to push Paxil on me. Just recently she emailed me and asked me again if I wanted her to write me a script for Paxil. You are going to heal, WF, because God's going to pull you up and out of this hell on earth. Don't you doubt His power for one second. Don't doubt his love for you either. One day you will walk into this doctor's office looking like the picture of perfect health, face glowing, grinning from ear to ear, and you will suggest he find a new line of work that requires less human interaction, like maybe pest control. I'm two-fisted angry he said what he said to you. God knows the beautiful future that awaits you beyond all this suffering. Please believe. Never give up hope. You will heal. This is not permanent. This is a small part of your life and all the pain you are going through will be a faded memory someday. I love you. Pug Thank you. I can't believe him. And the really sad thing is that he is one of the doctors that is listed here as being someone who actually understands WD. So, basically he is the best bet I have, and I don't have any other options. No regular psych will cooperate with the taper I have to do. And I can't ever figure him out. One visit he is pleasant, understanding, validating and totally agreeable. The next time, he seems uninterested and virtually annoyed by my presence. It goes on and on like this, back and forth. He has no idea what it takes for me to even get a shower and leave my house to get to his office. I can barely pull it off and then for him to sit there and say something like he did is just too much. He made a comment that makes me think he thinks I'm not tapering fast enough, then the other times I have been in there he is totally agreeable to allow me to control my taper schedule. I don't know what the heck is going on! Oh well. I'm sorry your doctor tried to medicate you. But I am gld you had the good sense not to take it, especially Paxil....good greif that is the worst, except of course for my favorite of all time, because of all the good it did me, Effexor aka ..... Satan in pill form. I don't understand any of these doctors. Why are they so mean? I feel like a five year old right now. I just don't understand the callousness and arrogance. Why? Why do they need to be this way? They aren't God. I pray all of us recover. And I pray that in my lifetime all of this ends up in a medical textbook and I can get my hands on a microphone in the presence of doctors and demand an apology. But, by then, I probably won't give a crap. Love you too. Xo 2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor..... 5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses. Link to comment
Wildflower0214 Posted June 9, 2015 Author Share Posted June 9, 2015 Guys, thank you. I will respond when I am able. Had to go to doctor today, and he told me I may not get better. He's the one I see for the med I'm still on. I'm pretty much a basket case right now. Weeping and tears and snot. I was 27 when the meds started making me sick, and I'll be 31 in a month!! My life is going down the crapper! It's like watching water go down a drain. What does he know he does not have the last word on your life or on you. Screw him as you may well get better and he will not be bothered to salute you then either. If he was so smart why did he put you on these pills to start with. I have had so many of these we got it this time your going to get better bs visits with doctors... I am sorry to be so jaded but half of them or more don`t have a clue what they are doing or so it seems looking back over my own history. I have shed a lot of tears based on doctor analysis those tears were wasted on them ... I hate to see you cry over something that is an opinion... the next doc could say the opposite. I know crying is a big part of wd.. too.. I guess we all will do our share of it. I hope after you calm down you will take my post to heart the truth is he does not know how could he possibly know.. he doesn`t know and said so... he said maybe. He may as well have said nothing and spared you the tears. I wish you peace I know! Why did he say it????? What is the point???? Doctors are not nice people sometimes. That is just a fact. It seems to be a hazard of the career...turning into a buttface. Some careers do this with time. My dad was a fighter pilot in the Air Force and then a career airline captain...every pilot I've ever met is controlling and pompous. It seems like it's a requirement in the field. Maybe pilots should hang out with doctors and talk about how stupid all the rest of us are. Lol Anyways.... I think I'm very emotional and I have a real problem with anger at the moment. It's WD... Thanks for the constant cheerleading. Thank you so much! I know you have been through the mill with doctors so you understand! Love to you! Xo 2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor..... 5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses. Link to comment
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