☼ Wildflower0214 Effexor WD and PTSD

[dalsaan]

I'm going to do an update. I have realized that I am often scared to post anything good or even to acknowledge these things in my own life because I am always waiting for the next shoe to drop. I think childhood trauma and having both parents be generally unpredictable probably laid the foundation for this. I am trying to challenge this belief, but not to the point that it triggers more CNS destabilization. I don't think exposure therapy is a good choice for me at the moment.

Things that have improved:

I can stay at home alone now pretty much all day. I don't even think to call my Mom if she is out. This is a huge step forward for me. The first months of WD, I could not be alone.

The heat rash I have when I get out of the shower seems a bit less severe.

I can watch TV as long as it's not too exciting.

I am adding sprouts to my diet a little at a time.

I have had days when I remember that I have appointments and I actually remember to take my dog out.

I am able to sit in the living room with the blinds open. This had been a problem because of sensitivity to light. I still can't leave my home for long long periods during the day.

Mt stress tolerance is still very very very low. But, I think I'm recovering a bit faster from triggering events

My period has been regular for about 5 months

I can read, but only certain things.. Maybe a few pages.

Stuff that will improve, but hasn't yet:

I have very dry itchy skin. It's uncomfortable and nothing works to help it, except the humidity outside. It looks wrinkly, and ashy.

Obsessive neuro emotions and ruminations

What I call anxiety gut/burping/burn.... It's an uncomfortable knotty feeling in my stomach with a lot of acid reflux and burping.

Cognitive fog

I've been having migraines, but not many in the last week or so, so I'm hopeful they are on their way out.

Difficulty regulating body temp. Sometimes cold, then feel like I'm menopausal.

Burning skin sensations, and burn electrical zaps feelings in body.

Neuro anxiety

Neuro depression/weepy

Anger comes and goes. Mostly at my father, and the rest with the medical field.

Sensory weirdness. My clothes never feel good against my skin... I don't know how to describe it in any other way.

Dry nose

Alerting/waves of adrenaline as I am falling asleep. These had totally disappeared for many months but came back in late March as a result of emotional upheaval.

Things I have done to try and cope:

Meditative breathing in bed at night

Challenging my thoughts, not accepting them as gospel truth.

Learning to be nice to myself

Trying to be grateful for something each day

Doing what I can to stay distracted. I've been making my dog homemade treats, watching documentaries, taking evening rides, sitting outside at sunset, word finds, etc.

Cutting toxic people out of my life.

Learning to let things go, whether they be my expectations of myself, versions of relationships that don't work anymore, or versions of belief systems that have proven very detrimental.

Affirmations that I am healing, that my body knows what it is doing and is recovering and rebalancing every minute of everyday and that I will be well.

9 days out of 10 I am hopeful about my future.

Great update. You are doing lots of little things to make the potential you have to heal, become an actual lived reality. I'm proud of you.

Dx

[Skyler]

Dalsaan is right Wildflower... you are a real trooper.  "One day in front of the other"..   a string of small successes.  Your emotional resilience has been making small but steady gains.  The journey has not been an easy one, so all the more heartfelt congrats.  You are a woman of character and courage!

[AliG]

I like that !!

 

You are a woman of character & courage !!     Love you.

[Wildflower0214]

Awesome update, WF. It's wonderful that you have had so many things improve, and your positive outlook will see you through the rest!!

Thank you Luv. Your support and encouragement have no doubt contributed to my journey in so many positive ways. I have read your posts so many times and admired your courage. It has inspired me to be brave. XOXO

[Wildflower0214]

Hey wildflower, you have so many improvements under your belt and I am sure you will have more added to the list soon. I may have to copy some of your coping tips such as watching documentaries so I could learn a thing or two. I admire your positive outlook of the future and wish you the best.

Thank you. Yes, documentaries tend to be gentle enough to watch for me. You don't have to worry about any scene or topic of discussion giving you an adrenaline rush when you are watching "Manor Homes of the British Aristocracy". Lol So, they are a good safe choice of entertainment. Thank you for the support and encouragement. I very much appreciate it.

[Wildflower0214]

Wild,

 

This update is so positive, in my opinion. You sound as if you're looking to the future , in an optimistic fashion . You're aware that you still have a way to go, but are in no doubt that you will "get there", with some ongoing self - care & a strong belief in your bodys ability to heal , given the right conditions & time itself. I can only think that your time has been well spent, during this process of recovery. You have reached down into your inner reserves of strength , courage & patience , that you probably didn't even know that you had hidden there.

 

I love your list of "stuff that will improve, but hasn't yet". That shows conviction , that at some point , these things will improve as well. I also love your list of "things I have done to try & cope". You have been working so hard at your recovery, and I'm so thrilled for you that you're seeing the results, finally.

 

I think this willingness to push through, and "tough it out", will serve you well in the future. You're still young & have your whole life in front of you, but I feel you're ahead of the game, in so much as you will probably never go through something as "challenging" as this , ever again. However, if you do you will be well equipped to handle whatever life throws at you. This "experience" has taught you some great coping skills.

 

I'm happy for your healing !! Love Ali.

Wow! This is such a kind post. Thank you! I think you are right in that this experience has taught me one of the most important life lessons I believe I have learned thus far. Essentially, that there is no one who is going to be able to infallibly tell me what to do. There is no doctor, counselor, friend, parent, spouse etc. who can tell me what is right for me. I know my body better than anyone, and I have to make my own choices with as much wisdom and knowledge as I can. I may make mistakes, but I learn from them. I don't look to anyone on this earth to save me anymore. No one can. Only I can take care of myself. I am responsible for myself and I can and will do what it takes to get well. I will not be intimidated and pushed into life choices that I know are not the best for me. And, I refuse to be manipulated. I am a firm believer in the fact that we need community to learn how to be fully human. But, I now have boundaries. I am responsible "to" other people to be kind, compassionate, and giving. But, I am not responsible "for" anyone but myself.

 

Ali, you are quite strong as well. I read your posts about your symptoms and wonder how you are keeping it together. But, you are. I know you have been through so much in your life, and I admire your strength. I really do. Your posts are very uplifting and positive even in the midst of your own chaos. This will carry you through. I've learned about how to be positive from you. It's very true that we teach each other how to respond to suffering in this forum. We either teach each other to spiral down into despair or how to keep going. You have taught me to keep going. I am grateful to you.

[Wildflower0214]

 

I'm going to do an update. I have realized that I am often scared to post anything good or even to acknowledge these things in my own life because I am always waiting for the next shoe to drop. I think childhood trauma and having both parents be generally unpredictable probably laid the foundation for this. I am trying to challenge this belief, but not to the point that it triggers more CNS destabilization. I don't think exposure therapy is a good choice for me at the moment.

Things that have improved:

I can stay at home alone now pretty much all day. I don't even think to call my Mom if she is out. This is a huge step forward for me. The first months of WD, I could not be alone.

The heat rash I have when I get out of the shower seems a bit less severe.

I can watch TV as long as it's not too exciting.

I am adding sprouts to my diet a little at a time.

I have had days when I remember that I have appointments and I actually remember to take my dog out.

I am able to sit in the living room with the blinds open. This had been a problem because of sensitivity to light. I still can't leave my home for long long periods during the day.

Mt stress tolerance is still very very very low. But, I think I'm recovering a bit faster from triggering events

My period has been regular for about 5 months

I can read, but only certain things.. Maybe a few pages.

Stuff that will improve, but hasn't yet:

I have very dry itchy skin. It's uncomfortable and nothing works to help it, except the humidity outside. It looks wrinkly, and ashy.

Obsessive neuro emotions and ruminations

What I call anxiety gut/burping/burn.... It's an uncomfortable knotty feeling in my stomach with a lot of acid reflux and burping.

Cognitive fog

I've been having migraines, but not many in the last week or so, so I'm hopeful they are on their way out.

Difficulty regulating body temp. Sometimes cold, then feel like I'm menopausal.

Burning skin sensations, and burn electrical zaps feelings in body.

Neuro anxiety

Neuro depression/weepy

Anger comes and goes. Mostly at my father, and the rest with the medical field.

Sensory weirdness. My clothes never feel good against my skin... I don't know how to describe it in any other way.

Dry nose

Alerting/waves of adrenaline as I am falling asleep. These had totally disappeared for many months but came back in late March as a result of emotional upheaval.

Things I have done to try and cope:

Meditative breathing in bed at night

Challenging my thoughts, not accepting them as gospel truth.

Learning to be nice to myself

Trying to be grateful for something each day

Doing what I can to stay distracted. I've been making my dog homemade treats, watching documentaries, taking evening rides, sitting outside at sunset, word finds, etc.

Cutting toxic people out of my life.

Learning to let things go, whether they be my expectations of myself, versions of relationships that don't work anymore, or versions of belief systems that have proven very detrimental.

Affirmations that I am healing, that my body knows what it is doing and is recovering and rebalancing every minute of everyday and that I will be well.

9 days out of 10 I am hopeful about my future.

Great update. You are doing lots of little things to make the potential you have to heal, become an actual lived reality. I'm proud of you.

Dx

Thank you. I remember one of the first posts I ever read on this forum was from you about all the little things we can do, the 100 small things that add up and really make the difference. This is the approach I have adopted and it has really helped me to view incremtal success and healing as important. One step forward is one step forward. It's something to be celebrated, not lamented because it's "only" one step.

 

Thank you for the encouragement. It is much appreciated.

[Wildflower0214]

Dalsaan is right Wildflower... you are a real trooper. "One day in front of the other".. a string of small successes. Your emotional resilience has been making small but steady gains. The journey has not been an easy one, so all the more heartfelt congrats. You are a woman of character and courage!

Skyler,

 

Thank you for all of your support. I also want to thank you for not contributing and buying into my hysteria last Fall when I was very sick and scared. You gave me the tools to make a good decision and then left the ball in my court. This was the beginning of my journey to trust myself. If you had stuck around and fed into my fear, it would have hindered me. I had to stand on my own two feet and make my own choices. Thank you for knowing this and setting boundaries.

 

I truly appreciate all of you help along the way.

[Wildflower0214]

I like that !!

 

You are a woman of character & courage !! Love you.

What a compliment!! Thank you Skyler and Ali!

 

This experience does indeed make us brave.

[freespirit]

 

Thank you. I remember one of the first posts I ever read on this forum was from you about all the little things we can do, the 100 small things that add up and really make the difference. This is the approach I have adopted and it has really helped me to view incremtal success and healing as important. One step forward is one step forward. It's something to be celebrated, not lamented because it's "only" one step.

 

Thank you for the encouragement. It is much appreciated.

 

 

I'm so glad you've found doing all the small things has made the difference for you WF. I especially like that you said about celebrating each small step...and I'm going to try and remember that for myself.

 

I know you've had a really difficult time around food allergies. Mine were much less, and seemed to be mostly histamine-related. I just wanted to share that I recently had acupuncture for the first time a couple of weeks ago. A few days after that, my digestion returned to normal for the first time since I started tapering (27 months ago). It's also meant I've been able to eat some things that have been totally impossible for almost a year. We never know how or when healing is going to happen....acupuncture is just one of the 100 small things I'm doing.

 

I think you ought to be proud of yourself...you've hung in there through some terrible times...and kept going. Good for you.

[LoveandLight]

Thank you for posting on my thread. Your doing amazing! X

[Frustrated]

HI WF.  Not on much lately but I do think about you and hope you are well.  

[SelmaLady]

Such inspiring posts, WF!!  I read your list of what you're doing to help yourself along and it helps me to find new ways for myself that I can get through this time in a more positive way.  Lots of people are blessed by your strength and forward thinking.  You are such a blessing WF.   Love you.

 

(BTW:  I made dog cookies yesterday too...Makes me feel that I'm at least making "someone" happy.)

[direstraits]

happy to read you're doing better! you're sounding so much more positive;this can only help you along your journey,which I know has been such a difficult one for you.

 

I'm grateful for all the support and caring you've shown me...hope you see much more healing soon.

 

take care...love,ds

[AliG]

Wild,

 

Thank you for those inspiring words. I'm happy if I have been a little help.    I'm so pleased that you're doing better.

[Wildflower0214]

 

Thank you. I remember one of the first posts I ever read on this forum was from you about all the little things we can do, the 100 small things that add up and really make the difference. This is the approach I have adopted and it has really helped me to view incremtal success and healing as important. One step forward is one step forward. It's something to be celebrated, not lamented because it's "only" one step.

 

Thank you for the encouragement. It is much appreciated.

 

I'm so glad you've found doing all the small things has made the difference for you WF. I especially like that you said about celebrating each small step...and I'm going to try and remember that for myself.

 

I know you've had a really difficult time around food allergies. Mine were much less, and seemed to be mostly histamine-related. I just wanted to share that I recently had acupuncture for the first time a couple of weeks ago. A few days after that, my digestion returned to normal for the first time since I started tapering (27 months ago). It's also meant I've been able to eat some things that have been totally impossible for almost a year. We never know how or when healing is going to happen....acupuncture is just one of the 100 small things I'm doing.

 

I think you ought to be proud of yourself...you've hung in there through some terrible times...and kept going. Good for you.

Thank you for posting on my thread. I have often considered acupuncture. I have to admit I am a bit apprehensive because when all of this started last year I tried everything to help myself. I saw ND's, tried to work on eliminating problem foods, tried neurofeedback, attempted to take a few small small doses of supplements that I thought may help... Etc. every single thing I did made me worse. And, some of the effects have never ceased even a year later. So, I vowed to not do anything but keep everything as stable as possible because that seems to be what is right for me at this time. But, I hope in the next few years I can successfully try some new ways of healing.

[Wildflower0214]

Such inspiring posts, WF!! I read your list of what you're doing to help yourself along and it helps me to find new ways for myself that I can get through this time in a more positive way. Lots of people are blessed by your strength and forward thinking. You are such a blessing WF. Love you.

 

(BTW: I made dog cookies yesterday too...Makes me feel that I'm at least making "someone" happy.)

Selma! I've missed you! Taking care of my pup has been very comforting to me. As I look at things in my life that are unhealthy, I realize that I can do better for my pup too. So, I looked up how to make him treats from organic ingredients. It makes me feel good to take care of my little dog.

 

I'm trying to keep plugging along. I'm so happy to hear from you! i hope you are coping alright. I haven't seen you post lately. Maybe I missed it. I will pop over and see what's been going on with you.

 

Love you. Xoxox

[Wildflower0214]

L and L: thanks friend! I am really making an effort to keep out of despair. It is hard at times. But, I know I have to make the effort. I know it's so important.

 

Frustrated: thank you for stopping by. I miss hearing from you. I've been thinking of you and hoping you are seeing some improvement. Xoxox

 

DS: thank you for your kind words. I am really making an effort to try and be more positive. It's not an easy task, but it's worth it. xoxox

 

Ali: yes, you have most definitely helped me so many times. I'm grateful for your caring and kind encouragement. Xoxo

[Meimeiquest]

I am so happy to see your progress! And your philosophy of "just hang on for now and I'll be able to do more healing things later" seems quite sensible. I have this totally unproven theory about myself that a lot of my withdrawal symptoms occur when my brain is in idle mode. I can do a lot when I have things that capture my attention, but bad things happen when I lose focus and my brain does "whatever." But if I do too much, things are much worse when I "idle." It's a fine balance that really is impossible to maintain, but we can keep working on it.

[freespirit]

"Thank you for posting on my thread. I have often considered acupuncture. I have to admit I am a bit apprehensive because when all of this started last year I tried everything to help myself. I saw ND's, tried to work on eliminating problem foods, tried neurofeedback, attempted to take a few small small doses of supplements that I thought may help... Etc. every single thing I did made me worse. And, some of the effects have never ceased even a year later. So, I vowed to not do anything but keep everything as stable as possible because that seems to be what is right for me at this time. But, I hope in the next few years I can successfully try some new ways of healing."

 

Sorry, I didn't explain myself very well. I was trying not to hijack your thread with my own story. I wasn't implying that you should try acupuncture because it has helped me. I think the 100 small things I've been doing led to the treatment helping in the way it did..and that the timing was correct for it. I was supporting the experience that doing the small things on a regular basis can lead towards healing and change.

 

There are places where not trying new things is the best course of action, keeping things simple and stable. You know better than anyone what is the best for you, and if or when trying something else will be the right choice. After a few unpleasant experiences with some supplements and a qi gong practitioner, I stayed the same course for awhile too.

[Wildflower0214]

Oh, yes free spirit. I understood. I was just thinking out loud about all of the things I have tried. And, your mention of acupuncture just reminded me that I would like to try that in the future. I have a list of all the things I may consider further down the road. And, you reminded me of it. It was encouraging. Sometimes, I forget there is a large list of things that may help me heal.

 

Right now,I have to constantly remind myself to just keep everything steady because my mind plays tricks on me and I start thinking that I'm not "doing" enough. This is a part of my personality I really have to keep in check during all of this. I'm very proactive. Waiting patiently is not something I do well. But, like you said. Sometimes, it is best to just stay the course for some time.

[Wildflower0214]

I'm not sure at this point what the right thing to do is.

 

I clearly have a hormonal imbalance, and possibly a thyroid issue.

 

But, I have just held off about doing anything because I don't want to be slapped on progesterone and Synthroid. I know that diet and supplementation can help a great deal, and I can't even change my diet right now. I know that I would not tolerate hormones or synthroid.

 

My instinct is to wait until I have a full diet of clean foods, until I am on more stable ground, and then look into what may need to be done to help. I'm not opposed to Synthroid as a last resort. But, I think I may be able to really help myself with food and stress reduction first before that needs to be considered. But, I am opposed to progesterone as it needs to be tapered and can cause cancer which I don't need any fuel to that fire. All the women on my mother's side have had breast cancer. And, I know that PCOS can be successfully treated with diet.

 

So, I'm opting to just wait it out. I haven't gotten any levels checked since last year because knowing I have an issue when I cannot treat it will do nothing but make me anxious.

[LoveandLight]

Aww so cute your making organic treats for your dog. He is just gorgeous

[luv2knit]

I freak out just thinking about having to change my Synthroid dose (which, fortunately, I did not have to do this time). Everyone on one of the FB withdrawal sites jumped on me and said I needed to be on a natural thyroid hormone. I would love to be, but my doc won't agree, and I don't feel I can make that change right now either. Hopefully someday I can do that--either with or without my present doctor. For now, though, I too am in a holding pattern.

[SelmaLady]

WF,   Do you think you have hypothyroid?  If you do, what symptoms do you think are showing that would point to this? 

 

I have hypothyroidism and the dumb CNP that I go to is threatening to put me on meds for it.  So I've started walking every single night with the hope that this will effect both my thyroid hormones and my low HDL which the CNP says can contribute to hypothyroidism.  But I just read that in order to really see results of walking, the walk has to be for 3 MILES every day.  Don't think that's going to happen!!   Still, to keep her from pushing anymore drugs on me, I might just work myself up to that!  I'm with Luv---just thinking about adding Synthroid to my chaos freaks me out too!! 

 

I know of soooooo many young women going through w/d who have horrific upticks during their cycle.  But the good news is that, once your system can stabilize from the w/d, the hormonal stress evens out too.   I have to say that  I personally have not heard of anyone who saw improvement during w/d recovery from taking any kind of HRT.   Seems it always made things worse..  If only there were something that could set this aright, huh?   Love and prayers, WF---

 

 

[Wildflower0214]

Aww so cute your making organic treats for your dog. He is just gorgeous

Thank you. I love him.

[Wildflower0214]

I freak out just thinking about having to change my Synthroid dose (which, fortunately, I did not have to do this time). Everyone on one of the FB withdrawal sites jumped on me and said I needed to be on a natural thyroid hormone. I would love to be, but my doc won't agree, and I don't feel I can make that change right now either. Hopefully someday I can do that--either with or without my present doctor. For now, though, I too am in a holding pattern.

I'm sure it would freak you out. It freaks me out for you just reading about it. I'm always hoping they won't jerk your synthroid around. I'm glad to hear this last time that they didn't have to make a change.

 

XOXO

[Wildflower0214]

WF, Do you think you have hypothyroid? If you do, what symptoms do you think are showing that would point to this?

 

I have hypothyroidism and the dumb CNP that I go to is threatening to put me on meds for it. So I've started walking every single night with the hope that this will effect both my thyroid hormones and my low HDL which the CNP says can contribute to hypothyroidism. But I just read that in order to really see results of walking, the walk has to be for 3 MILES every day. Don't think that's going to happen!! Still, to keep her from pushing anymore drugs on me, I might just work myself up to that! I'm with Luv---just thinking about adding Synthroid to my chaos freaks me out too!!

 

I know of soooooo many young women going through w/d who have horrific upticks during their cycle. But the good news is that, once your system can stabilize from the w/d, the hormonal stress evens out too. I have to say that I personally have not heard of anyone who saw improvement during w/d recovery from taking any kind of HRT. Seems it always made things worse.. If only there were something that could set this aright, huh? Love and prayers, WF---

Selma, thank you for the encouraging message. Unfortunately, I've had symptoms of both thyroid and PCOS long before medication and now they are just worse. Symptoms of an endocrine problem are partly to blame for me being on AD. So, at some point it has to be addressed. But, again, I don't see much of a point in being poked with needles and proded when I can't take anything or make any changes to improve my situation at the moment. So, I've resorted to a holding pattern. But, once in a while something happens to make me remember that these issues are present, like just a few nights ago I had ovulation pain or maybe a cyst burst on my ovary in the middle of the night and I was having to look up appendicitis just to check and make sure my pain was from my ovary.

 

I'm sorry to hear about your hypothyroid. Is this something new? Or have you been symptomatic before now? I'm sure the walking will help. There are a lot of other things as well with diet that may help. I hope it clears up soon. I know the body can heal from such enormous trauma. It's so much easier for me to have hope for others rather than myself. But, I think that is probably the case for most of us.

 

I hope this all evens out. We will just have to wait and see. Love and prayers to you. XOXO

[freespirit]

Oh, yes free spirit. I understood. I was just thinking out loud about all of the things I have tried. And, your mention of acupuncture just reminded me that I would like to try that in the future. I have a list of all the things I may consider further down the road. And, you reminded me of it. It was encouraging. Sometimes, I forget there is a large list of things that may help me heal.

 

Right now,I have to constantly remind myself to just keep everything steady because my mind plays tricks on me and I start thinking that I'm not "doing" enough. This is a part of my personality I really have to keep in check during all of this. I'm very proactive. Waiting patiently is not something I do well. But, like you said. Sometimes, it is best to just stay the course for some time.

 

I recognize that same aspect of personality within myself too. It's been challenging to learn patience, stay with things as they are, and go more slowly than that part of me wants to. While you're waiting patiently, it also sounds like you're doing many of the small things to help yourself along. I think the small things add up and often, can be more effective than the bigger things...besides, they typically don't have as much of a potential downside either.

 

For me, being able to work with a chiropractor and acupuncturist has definitely expanded my feelings of what healing is possible. But I think had I done either of them sooner, the results could have been very different. I also feel fortunate having what I consider very good practitioners, who listen and respond. Not all of them are created equal.

 

My thyroid did a lot of bouncing around during tapering, and seems somewhat more stable now. But here, they mostly rely on TSH..which is not the most accurate testing. A few times, I've wondered though, if there is anything in the synthroid I am reacting to. I've read opposing things on whether the one I take contains wheat..which is still on my "no" list for the moment. I'd prefer to be able to get off it at some point, but won't attempt anything like that right now. A couple of times, I took homeopathy to stimulate the thyroid and it did help the symptoms. But again, not for everyone and not at just anytime.

[SelmaLady]

 

WF, Do you think you have hypothyroid? If you do, what symptoms do you think are showing that would point to this?

 

I have hypothyroidism and the dumb CNP that I go to is threatening to put me on meds for it. So I've started walking every single night with the hope that this will effect both my thyroid hormones and my low HDL which the CNP says can contribute to hypothyroidism. But I just read that in order to really see results of walking, the walk has to be for 3 MILES every day. Don't think that's going to happen!! Still, to keep her from pushing anymore drugs on me, I might just work myself up to that! I'm with Luv---just thinking about adding Synthroid to my chaos freaks me out too!!

 

I know of soooooo many young women going through w/d who have horrific upticks during their cycle. But the good news is that, once your system can stabilize from the w/d, the hormonal stress evens out too. I have to say that I personally have not heard of anyone who saw improvement during w/d recovery from taking any kind of HRT. Seems it always made things worse.. If only there were something that could set this aright, huh? Love and prayers, WF---

Selma, thank you for the encouraging message. Unfortunately, I've had symptoms of both thyroid and PCOS long before medication and now they are just worse. Symptoms of an endocrine problem are partly to blame for me being on AD. So, at some point it has to be addressed. But, again, I don't see much of a point in being poked with needles and proded when I can't take anything or make any changes to improve my situation at the moment. So, I've resorted to a holding pattern. But, once in a while something happens to make me remember that these issues are present, like just a few nights ago I had ovulation pain or maybe a cyst burst on my ovary in the middle of the night and I was having to look up appendicitis just to check and make sure my pain was from my ovary.

 

I'm sorry to hear about your hypothyroid. Is this something new? Or have you been symptomatic before now? I'm sure the walking will help. There are a lot of other things as well with diet that may help. I hope it clears up soon. I know the body can heal from such enormous trauma. It's so much easier for me to have hope for others rather than myself. But, I think that is probably the case for most of us.

 

I hope this all evens out. We will just have to wait and see. Love and prayers to you. XOXO

 

 

I'm sure that at some point you no doubt posted that you had thyroid and hormonal problems pre-meds.   I'm sorry if I forgot that.... My youngest daughter has had PCOS and recently had a hysterectomy (uterus only) for excessive bleeding.  I had a complete hysterectomy in the late '70's for the same thing as my daughter.  I can remember the hard times before the hysterectomy.  I'm so sorry you're having to deal with that too.  Thyroid problems just seem to be evident in so very many who are having bad w/d's -- Makes me wonder if bad w/d's happen because of some already existing body chemistry problem.   I surely believe that those of us who have such severe reactions to psych drugs/withdrawal syndromes do have some glitches somewhere.

 

I was told that I had low thyroid levels just before the Afrin exposure but I don't remember having any symptoms particularly tho I did tend to tire easily and I do now too.  I have thinning hair but I'm thinking that's related to the whole chemical upheaval.  Other than that, I don't see any evidence of thyroid malfunction.  Wouldn't matter if I did because like you, I wouldn't dare take anything to treat it.   And now no a/b's either...  What a fun time....

[luv2knit]

WF--If it isn't one thing it's another, isn't it?! I am also glad they did not change my dosage, but who knows what might happen before it is over with. Praying you will be able to hold off on these additional issues. I know your system would not tolerate more meds right now--just like mine won't!!

[luv2knit]

WF--I messaged you. There is a new member who also has POTS (limerickgirl), if you want to check out her thread!

 

XOXO

[Wildflower0214]

Luv and Selma- Thinking of you both daily. XOXO

 

Well, I have to say I'm having a rough go of it right now. I have been having symptoms of CNS alerting since an emotional upheaval that happened at the end of March of this year. When I am trying to fall asleep, I get rushes of cortisol/adrenaline right as I'm dozing off. Meditative breathing has helped me get to sleep in spite of the alerting, but some nights I may have to lay in bed between 2-6 hours before I finally am able to sleep. This is an improvement however, from what my sleep issues used to be.

 

So, I decided to buy black out curtains because I have heard it mentioned that they could help with symptoms of alerting. The first night I had them up, I laid in bed for about 15 minutes noticing that it was significantly darker. Then all of the sudden I felt drugged. My body was heavy and then about an hour later the adrenaline/cortisol rushes increased in frequency and severity. So, I think I had a paradoxical reaction to the increased darkness.

 

I can't say I'm not frustrated. I am. But, I'm trying not to get too irritated.

 

On another note, I watched a health psychologist on a Ted talk discuss how to reframe thoughts on stress. And actually, the way we think about stress is hugely important. Stress, it seems is only damaging when we believe it is. So, I'm trying to begin the process of changing the way I view stress, which we all know this situation happens to be full of.

 

There are other things going on, but I'm not up to posting at length.

[luv2knit]

Good to hear from you, WF. Sorry to hear you had a paradoxical reaction to the darkness. It's always something, isn't it?! Hopefully things will settle down soon and at least return to some degree of stability for you.

 

XOXO

[SelmaLady]

So glad to see you post but sorry that the curtains made things worse.   So strange how our different CNS's reactions to the same thing can be.  And then how that can all change and we're reacting in a totally different way to the same thing.  But its good that you're getting at least some sleep now.   You over-react to daytime sunshine, don't you?  Hopefully this will pass away sooner rather than later.

 

I can see how our reactions to stress, how we frame what's going on with us, would re-up the brain's reaction.  I've just recently started to try to not react to the mind racing that I get, telling myself that there are not my "real" thots and that I don't have to react to them.  I've been listening to background sounds that are soothing (on youtube), I like the sound of the ocean.  But I couldn't have tolerated any ongoing noise just a year ago..  We do go on to stability at some point.  xoxoxo

[Wildflower0214]

well, my doctor who is tapering me off the Ativan has decided he is closing his practice end of December.

 

I am upset and I have no idea what I'm going to do. If you pray, please pray for me