ikam Posted June 1, 2015 Author Share Posted June 1, 2015 When I start reading about WD, or watch some videos I get so depressed and I just want to die. I was in denial for more than 30 years, to find now that my body-mind is severely damaged...I feel hopeless, as despite of progress I see no progress- if it makes any sense... I was thinking if I still have some adverse response to Escitalopram...I never had all these symptoms before this drug... I also try to lead my life as normal as possible...but is this possible??? - 12.03.2021- doxepin- 50mg - 6.11.2020- 75mg - 16.10.2020- 100mg - 30.09.2020- doxepin- 125mg - May 2020, omeprazole 40mg switched to esomeprazole 20mg - 2012 re-started Doxepin 75mg, evening. Increased to 150mg - 2012, Atenolol 25mg, twice a day - 2016, Low dose of HRT in evening, Sandrena and Utrogestan - Long term of Nasal spray Otrivine - 2012, PPI Omeprazole 40mg-evening 24.10.2014- Started ESCITALOPRAM-first 5mg and then 10mg; due to the adverse symptoms reduced on 5.01.2015- Escitalopram- 2.5mg 22.07.2016- re-started reduction by 1% at a time. Completed tappering on 19.03.2020 😇 Link to comment
ikam Posted June 1, 2015 Author Share Posted June 1, 2015 WILL I EVER HEAL??? - 12.03.2021- doxepin- 50mg - 6.11.2020- 75mg - 16.10.2020- 100mg - 30.09.2020- doxepin- 125mg - May 2020, omeprazole 40mg switched to esomeprazole 20mg - 2012 re-started Doxepin 75mg, evening. Increased to 150mg - 2012, Atenolol 25mg, twice a day - 2016, Low dose of HRT in evening, Sandrena and Utrogestan - Long term of Nasal spray Otrivine - 2012, PPI Omeprazole 40mg-evening 24.10.2014- Started ESCITALOPRAM-first 5mg and then 10mg; due to the adverse symptoms reduced on 5.01.2015- Escitalopram- 2.5mg 22.07.2016- re-started reduction by 1% at a time. Completed tappering on 19.03.2020 😇 Link to comment
ikam Posted June 1, 2015 Author Share Posted June 1, 2015 I don't understand myself anymore...I am feeling exhausted today, almost suicidal...not really happy about positive changes in my life... - 12.03.2021- doxepin- 50mg - 6.11.2020- 75mg - 16.10.2020- 100mg - 30.09.2020- doxepin- 125mg - May 2020, omeprazole 40mg switched to esomeprazole 20mg - 2012 re-started Doxepin 75mg, evening. Increased to 150mg - 2012, Atenolol 25mg, twice a day - 2016, Low dose of HRT in evening, Sandrena and Utrogestan - Long term of Nasal spray Otrivine - 2012, PPI Omeprazole 40mg-evening 24.10.2014- Started ESCITALOPRAM-first 5mg and then 10mg; due to the adverse symptoms reduced on 5.01.2015- Escitalopram- 2.5mg 22.07.2016- re-started reduction by 1% at a time. Completed tappering on 19.03.2020 😇 Link to comment
ikam Posted June 2, 2015 Author Share Posted June 2, 2015 Have taken a decision...will drop some job contracts and stay with just one- the new one. It looks I will be starting in two months. I will be moving house in July... Then I WANT to get on with tapering...I still think that I have some adverse response to this drug. I never felt like this before when on Effexor...I am only on 2.5mg but feel so detached sometimes and kind of like in a dream... - 12.03.2021- doxepin- 50mg - 6.11.2020- 75mg - 16.10.2020- 100mg - 30.09.2020- doxepin- 125mg - May 2020, omeprazole 40mg switched to esomeprazole 20mg - 2012 re-started Doxepin 75mg, evening. Increased to 150mg - 2012, Atenolol 25mg, twice a day - 2016, Low dose of HRT in evening, Sandrena and Utrogestan - Long term of Nasal spray Otrivine - 2012, PPI Omeprazole 40mg-evening 24.10.2014- Started ESCITALOPRAM-first 5mg and then 10mg; due to the adverse symptoms reduced on 5.01.2015- Escitalopram- 2.5mg 22.07.2016- re-started reduction by 1% at a time. Completed tappering on 19.03.2020 😇 Link to comment
Tilly Posted June 6, 2015 Share Posted June 6, 2015 Hi ikam, It is wise to drop some work commitments while you are struggling with withdrawal. I wish you well in your new job and home. Tillyx 1999 - 2004 Paroxetine 20mg -> 2004 - 2007 Citalopram 20mg -> 2007 - short term Trazedone use (insomnia) -> 2007 - 2009 Fluoxetine 20mg -> 2009 - Jan 2012 Citalopram 20mg (Spring / Summer 2012 protracted withdrawal & related agoraphobia) -> 2012 - September Restarted Citalopram - unbearable start up effects. Discontinued in under 1 week -> Oct 12 - October 2014 Escitalopram - 10mg prescribed. Started on 5mg and worked up to 10mg in 2.5mg increments -> Oct 2014 - 5mg; 30/03/15 2.5mg; 15/04/15 3.5mg; 20/05/15 2.9mg; 19/09/15 2.8mg; 30/10/15 2.7mg; 13/11/15 2.6mg. Holding until March. Diet: mostly pescatarianl & lots of veg. Weekly offal for b vitamins. Turmeric, nigella seeds, avocados, apple cider vinegar, coconut products daily. Lots of fluids: water, lemon juice, coconut water, herbal & green tea (decaffeinated). Supplements: vitamin C 4000mg, Omega 3 fish oil - high DPA & EHA, vitamin E 400iu, vitamin D3 5000mg (Winter only - from sun in Spring / Summer), probiotics. Current Symptoms: chronic fatigue, erratic sleep, extreme photophobia, eye floaters, noise sensitivity, tinnitus, cognitive & speech difficulties, dizziness, irregular gait, poor co ordination, severe facial and upper body muscle tension, head and neck pressure. Coping Strategies: good nutrition, cooking, gardening & growing my own food, cycling, dancing, yoga, photography, sewing & creative pursuits, self massage, pampering, meditation, journalling, nature, cuddling cats & humans, laughter & humour, gratitude, self care, aromatherapy, audio books, word games & believing in myself, my potential and my future. "Everything I need is within me" - Shakti Gawain Link to comment
ikam Posted June 6, 2015 Author Share Posted June 6, 2015 Thank you... - 12.03.2021- doxepin- 50mg - 6.11.2020- 75mg - 16.10.2020- 100mg - 30.09.2020- doxepin- 125mg - May 2020, omeprazole 40mg switched to esomeprazole 20mg - 2012 re-started Doxepin 75mg, evening. Increased to 150mg - 2012, Atenolol 25mg, twice a day - 2016, Low dose of HRT in evening, Sandrena and Utrogestan - Long term of Nasal spray Otrivine - 2012, PPI Omeprazole 40mg-evening 24.10.2014- Started ESCITALOPRAM-first 5mg and then 10mg; due to the adverse symptoms reduced on 5.01.2015- Escitalopram- 2.5mg 22.07.2016- re-started reduction by 1% at a time. Completed tappering on 19.03.2020 😇 Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus mammaP Posted June 6, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted June 6, 2015 Have taken a decision...will drop some job contracts and stay with just one- the new one. It looks I will be starting in two months. I will be moving house in July... Then I WANT to get on with tapering...I still think that I have some adverse response to this drug. I never felt like this before when on Effexor...I am only on 2.5mg but feel so detached sometimes and kind of like in a dream... Your nervous system is changed now Ikam, and it is possible that effexor would make you sick now too. Are you still at 2.5mg ecitalopram? It's a good move to cut your workload, and hope that you will be able to use the time to do something that you enjoy and makes you feel better. I hope the move goes well for you, moving house is very stressful! **I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge. Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem) 1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat 2002 effexor. Tapered March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads. Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013 Restarted taper Nov 2013 OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015 Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014 Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg July 2017 30mg. May 15 2018 25mg Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33 Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible Link to comment
ikam Posted June 6, 2015 Author Share Posted June 6, 2015 Hi MammaP, I am still on 2.5mg. Still holding...I need to find a better moment for my further tapering...I still wish it could be now, but I am very sensible about this... I have been much better today morning. Woke up quite bright and ready to face the day...I was surprised that I have had enough energy today, as yesterday I had to drive back home for 4.5hours! There was a major accident and I had to use a different route. I slept well, and woke up refreshed... Went for a small walk today (after one hour- only- work)...Have found a beautiful place nearby, some locks on a canal.... I have stopped magnesium for last three days and I am less drowsy...Maybe I am sensitive to magnesium? Or maybe I don't need it? I was thinking today that the type of surreal/spaced out feeling may have something to do with my busy week. It seems that my body just shuts down during the weekend in order to regain energy...so I have decided to stop worrying about this symptom, but treat it as a sign that my body "knows" better what is good for me... I was also thinking that if I was so "cognitively impaired" (as I thought at some point) I would not be able to deal with my work, long driving, attending interviews etc. So maybe some of my symptoms are more subjective, as I seem to be scanning my mind and body for them...When I manage just to observe them, or even forget about them, they are less troublesome... I have not had paraesthesia for long...and I get my "usual" anxiety type feeling in the morning...I am used to have it from time to time... I am a bit worried about the move, still need to go to bank and ask them for some money...I am also worried about new job. It is a bit out of my area of expertise, but I hope my skills are transferable... - 12.03.2021- doxepin- 50mg - 6.11.2020- 75mg - 16.10.2020- 100mg - 30.09.2020- doxepin- 125mg - May 2020, omeprazole 40mg switched to esomeprazole 20mg - 2012 re-started Doxepin 75mg, evening. Increased to 150mg - 2012, Atenolol 25mg, twice a day - 2016, Low dose of HRT in evening, Sandrena and Utrogestan - Long term of Nasal spray Otrivine - 2012, PPI Omeprazole 40mg-evening 24.10.2014- Started ESCITALOPRAM-first 5mg and then 10mg; due to the adverse symptoms reduced on 5.01.2015- Escitalopram- 2.5mg 22.07.2016- re-started reduction by 1% at a time. Completed tappering on 19.03.2020 😇 Link to comment
ikam Posted June 7, 2015 Author Share Posted June 7, 2015 Woke up feeling NORMAL today, just my usual worries, but nothing too intense...slept well and long. I tend to go to sleep really early- this is my method to give my body and mind what they need... I have stopped magnesium and my blood pressure is back to normal, not as low...Maybe I will need to get to magnesium when I will be cutting on beta-blocker? It seems I will have a long journey before I will manage to stop all my meds...I still wish I could do it quicker... - 12.03.2021- doxepin- 50mg - 6.11.2020- 75mg - 16.10.2020- 100mg - 30.09.2020- doxepin- 125mg - May 2020, omeprazole 40mg switched to esomeprazole 20mg - 2012 re-started Doxepin 75mg, evening. Increased to 150mg - 2012, Atenolol 25mg, twice a day - 2016, Low dose of HRT in evening, Sandrena and Utrogestan - Long term of Nasal spray Otrivine - 2012, PPI Omeprazole 40mg-evening 24.10.2014- Started ESCITALOPRAM-first 5mg and then 10mg; due to the adverse symptoms reduced on 5.01.2015- Escitalopram- 2.5mg 22.07.2016- re-started reduction by 1% at a time. Completed tappering on 19.03.2020 😇 Link to comment
ikam Posted June 8, 2015 Author Share Posted June 8, 2015 Panic today, that I will not manage... - 12.03.2021- doxepin- 50mg - 6.11.2020- 75mg - 16.10.2020- 100mg - 30.09.2020- doxepin- 125mg - May 2020, omeprazole 40mg switched to esomeprazole 20mg - 2012 re-started Doxepin 75mg, evening. Increased to 150mg - 2012, Atenolol 25mg, twice a day - 2016, Low dose of HRT in evening, Sandrena and Utrogestan - Long term of Nasal spray Otrivine - 2012, PPI Omeprazole 40mg-evening 24.10.2014- Started ESCITALOPRAM-first 5mg and then 10mg; due to the adverse symptoms reduced on 5.01.2015- Escitalopram- 2.5mg 22.07.2016- re-started reduction by 1% at a time. Completed tappering on 19.03.2020 😇 Link to comment
ikam Posted June 9, 2015 Author Share Posted June 9, 2015 Up and down... It is not good as I have been craving codeine badly- I used to take a lot of it in the past. Always in situations when I had too much, was overwhelmed with feelings... I want to take it and go to sleep. I did not buy any (yet)... I want to cut off the feelings...stop thinking... I don't want to hear anything and see anything...just sleep... - 12.03.2021- doxepin- 50mg - 6.11.2020- 75mg - 16.10.2020- 100mg - 30.09.2020- doxepin- 125mg - May 2020, omeprazole 40mg switched to esomeprazole 20mg - 2012 re-started Doxepin 75mg, evening. Increased to 150mg - 2012, Atenolol 25mg, twice a day - 2016, Low dose of HRT in evening, Sandrena and Utrogestan - Long term of Nasal spray Otrivine - 2012, PPI Omeprazole 40mg-evening 24.10.2014- Started ESCITALOPRAM-first 5mg and then 10mg; due to the adverse symptoms reduced on 5.01.2015- Escitalopram- 2.5mg 22.07.2016- re-started reduction by 1% at a time. Completed tappering on 19.03.2020 😇 Link to comment
Martina23 Posted June 9, 2015 Share Posted June 9, 2015 Ikam, when do you start your new work? 05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free- symptoms OCD Link to comment
ikam Posted June 9, 2015 Author Share Posted June 9, 2015 Moving house- on 12th July. Signing contract for new flat- 10th July. Before that need to talk to my bank for a bridging loan...Need to pay deposit and one month rent. Final check out from this flat on 14th July...on 11th July- need to clean this flat... Starting new work around 4th August. I don't want to move house and start new job at the same time... Still need to talk at my present (temporary) job and end all jobs I have started or prepare them for transfer... I have been working over weekends for some time now, just Saturdays... Tired...exhausted...drained... So I crave codeine as I used it for cutting off the world... - 12.03.2021- doxepin- 50mg - 6.11.2020- 75mg - 16.10.2020- 100mg - 30.09.2020- doxepin- 125mg - May 2020, omeprazole 40mg switched to esomeprazole 20mg - 2012 re-started Doxepin 75mg, evening. Increased to 150mg - 2012, Atenolol 25mg, twice a day - 2016, Low dose of HRT in evening, Sandrena and Utrogestan - Long term of Nasal spray Otrivine - 2012, PPI Omeprazole 40mg-evening 24.10.2014- Started ESCITALOPRAM-first 5mg and then 10mg; due to the adverse symptoms reduced on 5.01.2015- Escitalopram- 2.5mg 22.07.2016- re-started reduction by 1% at a time. Completed tappering on 19.03.2020 😇 Link to comment
ikam Posted June 13, 2015 Author Share Posted June 13, 2015 Craving codeine again. Last few days I was taking 2mg diazepam. I have never been good in dealing with changes and my emotions. I started drinking when I was 14, due to a very difficult situation at family home. My father was severely abusive, drinking for long periods of time, taking drugs (he was prescribing them to himself!), beating me with the belt to the extent that my own mother said "I thought he would kill you". I also felt as if he could. She never protected or comforted me though. He was acting in a sexualised manner to me. Interrogated me with many difficult questions, etc. etc. He died- fortunately, leaving whole family with scars that never heal. So I used to escape into alcohol... I do use this strategy still- when overwhelmed I just want to drug myself and stop feeling...I don't drink anymore... I have also been pretty suicidal in the last two weeks or so...but I don't want to "wake up" feeling even worse... - 12.03.2021- doxepin- 50mg - 6.11.2020- 75mg - 16.10.2020- 100mg - 30.09.2020- doxepin- 125mg - May 2020, omeprazole 40mg switched to esomeprazole 20mg - 2012 re-started Doxepin 75mg, evening. Increased to 150mg - 2012, Atenolol 25mg, twice a day - 2016, Low dose of HRT in evening, Sandrena and Utrogestan - Long term of Nasal spray Otrivine - 2012, PPI Omeprazole 40mg-evening 24.10.2014- Started ESCITALOPRAM-first 5mg and then 10mg; due to the adverse symptoms reduced on 5.01.2015- Escitalopram- 2.5mg 22.07.2016- re-started reduction by 1% at a time. Completed tappering on 19.03.2020 😇 Link to comment
Martina23 Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 This remembered me on my father. He also used to beat me with the belt and kicked me in the spine, because I was the eldest and thus always guilty. My mother supported him in this. Once I was already so afraid when he opened his suitcase and took his belt that I started urinating. I was 10 years old. He was a big communist and wanted to raise me after the motto of General Kutuzov: "hard in the trainingscamp, easy in the life." I try to forget it. But I know how you feel. 05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free- symptoms OCD Link to comment
AliG Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 Hi Ikam, at least your "Father's " dead !! I wish mine was. Hang in there. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
ikam Posted June 13, 2015 Author Share Posted June 13, 2015 Thank you... Similar story...and sorry it happened to you... Hmm...Kutuzow, I recall this name, I used to live in the town where he was buried... I have been in therapy for years...I am much better, don't have flashbacks anymore... My mother was abused by my father, so she was terrified to do anything when he was enraged, but she did protect my brother (younger one)... She says that she loves me know, she feels guilty...I do talk to her, comfort her...but I did need her when I was in your age... My father was a psychiatrist...he was germanised during the war, beaten badly himself... - 12.03.2021- doxepin- 50mg - 6.11.2020- 75mg - 16.10.2020- 100mg - 30.09.2020- doxepin- 125mg - May 2020, omeprazole 40mg switched to esomeprazole 20mg - 2012 re-started Doxepin 75mg, evening. Increased to 150mg - 2012, Atenolol 25mg, twice a day - 2016, Low dose of HRT in evening, Sandrena and Utrogestan - Long term of Nasal spray Otrivine - 2012, PPI Omeprazole 40mg-evening 24.10.2014- Started ESCITALOPRAM-first 5mg and then 10mg; due to the adverse symptoms reduced on 5.01.2015- Escitalopram- 2.5mg 22.07.2016- re-started reduction by 1% at a time. Completed tappering on 19.03.2020 😇 Link to comment
ikam Posted June 13, 2015 Author Share Posted June 13, 2015 Sometimes somebody's death is the best solution-----sorry... (but had he stayed alive he would have been even more abusive...) - 12.03.2021- doxepin- 50mg - 6.11.2020- 75mg - 16.10.2020- 100mg - 30.09.2020- doxepin- 125mg - May 2020, omeprazole 40mg switched to esomeprazole 20mg - 2012 re-started Doxepin 75mg, evening. Increased to 150mg - 2012, Atenolol 25mg, twice a day - 2016, Low dose of HRT in evening, Sandrena and Utrogestan - Long term of Nasal spray Otrivine - 2012, PPI Omeprazole 40mg-evening 24.10.2014- Started ESCITALOPRAM-first 5mg and then 10mg; due to the adverse symptoms reduced on 5.01.2015- Escitalopram- 2.5mg 22.07.2016- re-started reduction by 1% at a time. Completed tappering on 19.03.2020 😇 Link to comment
AliG Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 Like I said , I wish he was "dead". Problem is , It 'Estranges me " , from the family. So sorry to hear this has happened to you. How do we "survive" this? On top of the "medication" nightmare. I'm waiting for my "Father's " death. My mother is still with him. Sorry, didn't mean to vent, on your thread. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
ikam Posted June 13, 2015 Author Share Posted June 13, 2015 I understand...do you still live with your family? I wanted my father to die as well, but then felt guilty for his death...that I did not help him and that I was a "bad child"... we do survive... there were reasons for starting taking meds...in me, I wanted to cut off from painful feelings, I was hoping I will be fixed if I only manage to calm my nervous system... my nervous system is far more disregulated now and I seem to have limited strategies to cope with feelings... - 12.03.2021- doxepin- 50mg - 6.11.2020- 75mg - 16.10.2020- 100mg - 30.09.2020- doxepin- 125mg - May 2020, omeprazole 40mg switched to esomeprazole 20mg - 2012 re-started Doxepin 75mg, evening. Increased to 150mg - 2012, Atenolol 25mg, twice a day - 2016, Low dose of HRT in evening, Sandrena and Utrogestan - Long term of Nasal spray Otrivine - 2012, PPI Omeprazole 40mg-evening 24.10.2014- Started ESCITALOPRAM-first 5mg and then 10mg; due to the adverse symptoms reduced on 5.01.2015- Escitalopram- 2.5mg 22.07.2016- re-started reduction by 1% at a time. Completed tappering on 19.03.2020 😇 Link to comment
AliG Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 No, I do not have any contact. I'm sorry for your pain, as well. Yes, "reasons for starting meds". Painful feelings. So much harder to deal with , now, in "withdrawal". Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
ikam Posted June 13, 2015 Author Share Posted June 13, 2015 Yes, it is harder, as the feelings seem more intense and I seem to have very little strategies... I have very little contact with my family as well. My brother does not talk to me...I envy people who have more support in their families. I never had... So lonely in the world... - 12.03.2021- doxepin- 50mg - 6.11.2020- 75mg - 16.10.2020- 100mg - 30.09.2020- doxepin- 125mg - May 2020, omeprazole 40mg switched to esomeprazole 20mg - 2012 re-started Doxepin 75mg, evening. Increased to 150mg - 2012, Atenolol 25mg, twice a day - 2016, Low dose of HRT in evening, Sandrena and Utrogestan - Long term of Nasal spray Otrivine - 2012, PPI Omeprazole 40mg-evening 24.10.2014- Started ESCITALOPRAM-first 5mg and then 10mg; due to the adverse symptoms reduced on 5.01.2015- Escitalopram- 2.5mg 22.07.2016- re-started reduction by 1% at a time. Completed tappering on 19.03.2020 😇 Link to comment
ikam Posted June 14, 2015 Author Share Posted June 14, 2015 Slept 12 hours, it was a good almost undisturbed sleep. I restarted magnesium and I think this helps... - 12.03.2021- doxepin- 50mg - 6.11.2020- 75mg - 16.10.2020- 100mg - 30.09.2020- doxepin- 125mg - May 2020, omeprazole 40mg switched to esomeprazole 20mg - 2012 re-started Doxepin 75mg, evening. Increased to 150mg - 2012, Atenolol 25mg, twice a day - 2016, Low dose of HRT in evening, Sandrena and Utrogestan - Long term of Nasal spray Otrivine - 2012, PPI Omeprazole 40mg-evening 24.10.2014- Started ESCITALOPRAM-first 5mg and then 10mg; due to the adverse symptoms reduced on 5.01.2015- Escitalopram- 2.5mg 22.07.2016- re-started reduction by 1% at a time. Completed tappering on 19.03.2020 😇 Link to comment
Member cymbaltawithdrawal5600 Posted June 14, 2015 Member Share Posted June 14, 2015 I am encouraged to see you are still hanging in there and are seeing the results of experimenting with changing things. I found mag really helpful but I don't take it anymore, I really should. I like the rainbow.... Quote from AliG above (android is not showing me the full editor for a proper quote): "So lonely in the world" Ah, but you have all of us here. I don't post on others' threads much but I cheer people on from the sidelines.... What happened and how I arrived here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4243-cymbaltawithdrawal5600-introduction/#entry50878 July 2016 I have decided to leave my story here at SA unfinished. I have left my contact information in my profile for anyone who wishes to talk to me. I have a posting history spanning nearly 4 years and 3000+ posts all over the site. Thank you to all who participated in my recovery. I'll miss talking to you but know that I'll be cheering you on from the sidelines, suffering and rejoicing with you in spirit, as you go on in your journey. Link to comment
ikam Posted June 14, 2015 Author Share Posted June 14, 2015 THANK YOU I used to write some stories called "The rainbow land"...These were stories for adults who had problems with accessing the inner child... I restarted magnesium and I am feeling much calmer...I need to buy new magnesium and don't know which would be better magnesium glycinate or magnesium l-threonate? The glycinate comes in a powder form and I take it only in evening... I don't "visit" people at their threads...I tried but I get so over-helmed and anxious when reading other people struggle... I am trying my best to deal with my life, lots of external stress. Changing job, moving house...unsure if I am doing right thing. Also have a big decision problem, working for one company, but I could start a better paid contract just for few weeks...still feel loyal to my present job...Don't know what to do... How are you doing, anyway? I remember your struggle with your mum... Recently I got so upset with my mother. I have had a lot of financial problems, so I have to decide what are my proprieties, and had to service my car (still driving 150miles a day). But she was so concerned that I have to pay for my passport in case she dies and I need to go for her funeral...even now she cares more about her possible funeral than about my safety... I think I need to be sarcastic and tell her that I will never pay for my passport so she will have to stay alive... - 12.03.2021- doxepin- 50mg - 6.11.2020- 75mg - 16.10.2020- 100mg - 30.09.2020- doxepin- 125mg - May 2020, omeprazole 40mg switched to esomeprazole 20mg - 2012 re-started Doxepin 75mg, evening. Increased to 150mg - 2012, Atenolol 25mg, twice a day - 2016, Low dose of HRT in evening, Sandrena and Utrogestan - Long term of Nasal spray Otrivine - 2012, PPI Omeprazole 40mg-evening 24.10.2014- Started ESCITALOPRAM-first 5mg and then 10mg; due to the adverse symptoms reduced on 5.01.2015- Escitalopram- 2.5mg 22.07.2016- re-started reduction by 1% at a time. Completed tappering on 19.03.2020 😇 Link to comment
ikam Posted June 15, 2015 Author Share Posted June 15, 2015 Feeling very drowsy today morning, I wonder if it could be magnesium? I take around 100mg in evening... http://www.livestrong.com/article/487587-magnesium-supplements-drowsiness/ - 12.03.2021- doxepin- 50mg - 6.11.2020- 75mg - 16.10.2020- 100mg - 30.09.2020- doxepin- 125mg - May 2020, omeprazole 40mg switched to esomeprazole 20mg - 2012 re-started Doxepin 75mg, evening. Increased to 150mg - 2012, Atenolol 25mg, twice a day - 2016, Low dose of HRT in evening, Sandrena and Utrogestan - Long term of Nasal spray Otrivine - 2012, PPI Omeprazole 40mg-evening 24.10.2014- Started ESCITALOPRAM-first 5mg and then 10mg; due to the adverse symptoms reduced on 5.01.2015- Escitalopram- 2.5mg 22.07.2016- re-started reduction by 1% at a time. Completed tappering on 19.03.2020 😇 Link to comment
Member cymbaltawithdrawal5600 Posted June 15, 2015 Member Share Posted June 15, 2015 Ooops! I read your post and ended up posting a reply in the mag thread. You'll see it, I'm sure.... What happened and how I arrived here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4243-cymbaltawithdrawal5600-introduction/#entry50878 July 2016 I have decided to leave my story here at SA unfinished. I have left my contact information in my profile for anyone who wishes to talk to me. I have a posting history spanning nearly 4 years and 3000+ posts all over the site. Thank you to all who participated in my recovery. I'll miss talking to you but know that I'll be cheering you on from the sidelines, suffering and rejoicing with you in spirit, as you go on in your journey. Link to comment
ikam Posted June 15, 2015 Author Share Posted June 15, 2015 No problem, I wrote in both topics... I think I am very sensitive to any supplements at present... I am going to stop magnesium until my blood and urine test next week (I had some indication about kidney problems and need to re-check it)... - 12.03.2021- doxepin- 50mg - 6.11.2020- 75mg - 16.10.2020- 100mg - 30.09.2020- doxepin- 125mg - May 2020, omeprazole 40mg switched to esomeprazole 20mg - 2012 re-started Doxepin 75mg, evening. Increased to 150mg - 2012, Atenolol 25mg, twice a day - 2016, Low dose of HRT in evening, Sandrena and Utrogestan - Long term of Nasal spray Otrivine - 2012, PPI Omeprazole 40mg-evening 24.10.2014- Started ESCITALOPRAM-first 5mg and then 10mg; due to the adverse symptoms reduced on 5.01.2015- Escitalopram- 2.5mg 22.07.2016- re-started reduction by 1% at a time. Completed tappering on 19.03.2020 😇 Link to comment
ikam Posted June 15, 2015 Author Share Posted June 15, 2015 I think now that it has been good to hold for longer...I am still up and down, but this is also due to additional and ongoing stress (moving house, changing job, financial difficulties)... I will start tapering again after my move and starting new job, so I guess around September... - 12.03.2021- doxepin- 50mg - 6.11.2020- 75mg - 16.10.2020- 100mg - 30.09.2020- doxepin- 125mg - May 2020, omeprazole 40mg switched to esomeprazole 20mg - 2012 re-started Doxepin 75mg, evening. Increased to 150mg - 2012, Atenolol 25mg, twice a day - 2016, Low dose of HRT in evening, Sandrena and Utrogestan - Long term of Nasal spray Otrivine - 2012, PPI Omeprazole 40mg-evening 24.10.2014- Started ESCITALOPRAM-first 5mg and then 10mg; due to the adverse symptoms reduced on 5.01.2015- Escitalopram- 2.5mg 22.07.2016- re-started reduction by 1% at a time. Completed tappering on 19.03.2020 😇 Link to comment
ikam Posted June 17, 2015 Author Share Posted June 17, 2015 Very low today... Also, took doxepin in the morning (to cut off emotions),did not go to work... I am tired of everything, all the changes, but have no choice as to go through them...I am so worried that something will go wrong... I wish I was in a more stable situation... - 12.03.2021- doxepin- 50mg - 6.11.2020- 75mg - 16.10.2020- 100mg - 30.09.2020- doxepin- 125mg - May 2020, omeprazole 40mg switched to esomeprazole 20mg - 2012 re-started Doxepin 75mg, evening. Increased to 150mg - 2012, Atenolol 25mg, twice a day - 2016, Low dose of HRT in evening, Sandrena and Utrogestan - Long term of Nasal spray Otrivine - 2012, PPI Omeprazole 40mg-evening 24.10.2014- Started ESCITALOPRAM-first 5mg and then 10mg; due to the adverse symptoms reduced on 5.01.2015- Escitalopram- 2.5mg 22.07.2016- re-started reduction by 1% at a time. Completed tappering on 19.03.2020 😇 Link to comment
ikam Posted June 18, 2015 Author Share Posted June 18, 2015 I think I am just responding to stress, bit panicky and low (my usual response) + craving anything that can damp this emotions... I am scared of moving house and changing job... I have to go to the bank tomorrow, if they will lend me extra money...scared of this as well... - 12.03.2021- doxepin- 50mg - 6.11.2020- 75mg - 16.10.2020- 100mg - 30.09.2020- doxepin- 125mg - May 2020, omeprazole 40mg switched to esomeprazole 20mg - 2012 re-started Doxepin 75mg, evening. Increased to 150mg - 2012, Atenolol 25mg, twice a day - 2016, Low dose of HRT in evening, Sandrena and Utrogestan - Long term of Nasal spray Otrivine - 2012, PPI Omeprazole 40mg-evening 24.10.2014- Started ESCITALOPRAM-first 5mg and then 10mg; due to the adverse symptoms reduced on 5.01.2015- Escitalopram- 2.5mg 22.07.2016- re-started reduction by 1% at a time. Completed tappering on 19.03.2020 😇 Link to comment
ikam Posted June 19, 2015 Author Share Posted June 19, 2015 when I read other people's posts I get either scared that I may have more symptoms or surprised that I don't have them and then questioning myself: should I experience more? with me it is continuously up and down, but I have always been like this... I still get type of paraesthesia in the morning, but I try to "just notice" it and sleep longer if I can... mornings are still the worst, but if I have to do something I get on with this...and symptoms "go away"...so I think that maybe if distraction can help me, my symptoms are not so severe? then I think, maybe I should have more severe symptoms... I have noticed, that this week (I did not go to work at all) I have been much calmer... I have been considering getting a tiny drop, meaning 1% and see...but I am worried that this will get me out of balance...I don't really know what to do... - 12.03.2021- doxepin- 50mg - 6.11.2020- 75mg - 16.10.2020- 100mg - 30.09.2020- doxepin- 125mg - May 2020, omeprazole 40mg switched to esomeprazole 20mg - 2012 re-started Doxepin 75mg, evening. Increased to 150mg - 2012, Atenolol 25mg, twice a day - 2016, Low dose of HRT in evening, Sandrena and Utrogestan - Long term of Nasal spray Otrivine - 2012, PPI Omeprazole 40mg-evening 24.10.2014- Started ESCITALOPRAM-first 5mg and then 10mg; due to the adverse symptoms reduced on 5.01.2015- Escitalopram- 2.5mg 22.07.2016- re-started reduction by 1% at a time. Completed tappering on 19.03.2020 😇 Link to comment
ikam Posted June 20, 2015 Author Share Posted June 20, 2015 What is the difference between excitement and anxiety on a body level? If I wake up with fast heart rate and bit agitated does it mean I want to get up and deal with my life? Or that I am anxious to deal with my life? When I get up, this body sensation goes away... Maybe I just habitually treat my symptoms as anxiety but they are not the anxiety but the excitement??? I think, it is a bit tricky, what we name and what we feel... How to distinguish anxiety from excitement??? - 12.03.2021- doxepin- 50mg - 6.11.2020- 75mg - 16.10.2020- 100mg - 30.09.2020- doxepin- 125mg - May 2020, omeprazole 40mg switched to esomeprazole 20mg - 2012 re-started Doxepin 75mg, evening. Increased to 150mg - 2012, Atenolol 25mg, twice a day - 2016, Low dose of HRT in evening, Sandrena and Utrogestan - Long term of Nasal spray Otrivine - 2012, PPI Omeprazole 40mg-evening 24.10.2014- Started ESCITALOPRAM-first 5mg and then 10mg; due to the adverse symptoms reduced on 5.01.2015- Escitalopram- 2.5mg 22.07.2016- re-started reduction by 1% at a time. Completed tappering on 19.03.2020 😇 Link to comment
direstraits Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 I think of excitement as a positive feeling of looking forward to something enjoyable where as anxiety is quite the opposite-a dreadful feeling as we all well know... went on Prozac 1994-99,60mg.poopout ct back on 2001-2002,prozac weekly 2002,not working,Effexor 75 mg.?2003-mar.2004 gaining weight 8wk. taper,wellbutrin 150 mg.mar. -may 2004 ctmedfree til july 2005 back to Prozac gaining weight again,back on wellbutrin jan.2006150-300 mg.bad constipation.also was taking aygestin(hormone)perimenopausal irregular bleeding.back on Prozac around sept,?2006,hysterectomy jan30.2007(adenomyosis)off&on Prozac til 2009,citalopram about 1 mo, April 2010 no effect,Effexor again may -mar, 2011.ct,Prozac aug,-dec, 2011 &sept-nov 2012,paroxetine oct,23 2013-may 4 2014 20 mgs.tapered 6 wks.-failed RI in Oct.2014-in protracted WD.started 10 mgs. Fluoxetine May 25 2021 .Stopped fluoxetine May 2022 at 5 mgs. Link to comment
ikam Posted June 20, 2015 Author Share Posted June 20, 2015 When I am in bed, just waking up in the morning, I have this dreadful feeling, but when I get up in turns "outside" and changes, sometimes giving me energy to do things. Like today morning, I was pretty anxious when I woke up, then got up and had to do many things, and it actually turned to the excitement...So, as it seems in my case, it is more fluid... - 12.03.2021- doxepin- 50mg - 6.11.2020- 75mg - 16.10.2020- 100mg - 30.09.2020- doxepin- 125mg - May 2020, omeprazole 40mg switched to esomeprazole 20mg - 2012 re-started Doxepin 75mg, evening. Increased to 150mg - 2012, Atenolol 25mg, twice a day - 2016, Low dose of HRT in evening, Sandrena and Utrogestan - Long term of Nasal spray Otrivine - 2012, PPI Omeprazole 40mg-evening 24.10.2014- Started ESCITALOPRAM-first 5mg and then 10mg; due to the adverse symptoms reduced on 5.01.2015- Escitalopram- 2.5mg 22.07.2016- re-started reduction by 1% at a time. Completed tappering on 19.03.2020 😇 Link to comment
freespirit Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 I think physically they feel very much the same....a lot depends on our interpretation of the sensations...and what we decide to do with them. Remeron for depression. Started at 7.5 mg. in 2005. Gradual increases over 8 years, up to 45 mg. in 2012.Began tapering in June 2013. Went from 45 to 30 mg in the first 3-4 months. Held for a couple of months.Started tapering by 3.75 mg every month or 2, with some longer holding periods. Eventually went down to 3.75 mg. about April 2014. Stopped taking Remeron August 2014. Developed issues with histamine a week after stopping--symptoms reduced through diet and a few supplements. Currently having issues with a few foods. Most of the histamine intolerance has resolved or is at least, in remission. Current Medications: Current Supplements: Cannabis (CBD and THC), Vitamin C, D, Quercetin, CoQ10, Tart Cherry, Probiotic, Phytoplankton oil, magnesium, Methyl B. What has helped me most: spending time in nature, qi gong, exercise, healthy diet, meditation, IV vitamins, homeopathy, massage, acupuncture, chiropractic, music, and cuddling my cats.. My introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8459-mirtazapine-withdrawal-freespirit/#entry144282 Please note: I am not a therapist or medical practitioner. Any suggestions offered come solely from my personal experience in recovering from childhood trauma, therapy, and AD use. Please seek appropriate care for yourself. “After a cruel childhood, one must reinvent oneself. Then re-imagine the world.” ― Mary Oliver Link to comment
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