Freedom15: reinstated amitriptyline after CT by doctor

[Freedom15]

The reduction is getting alot easier now.

 

Symptoms have subsided and its mostly physical issues now.

 

Alot more managable doing 12.5% reduction.

 

With all the stuff going on in world i will stick at this rate for while.

[Freedom15]

Seem to be getting into a pattern of every other day of cycling symptoms.

1 Day of stability and one of being in wave.

 

Friday big wave

Sat stable

Sunday wave again.

 

[Altostrata]

Interesting. What is your current daily drug schedule and dosage?

[Freedom15]

Hi Alto

 

I am taking the dose at 7pm every night

The last reduction was below..

 

10mg in 800ml water

 with 0.02ml taken out

 

0.02ml added to 2000ml water

 

Final dose take from last solution is 0.08ml

 

I think its something like 0.00000000and then some figures.

 

I am starting to feel like the waves are starting to carm down after 16 days of reduction.

 

Last reduction was 12.5% ver the 3 previous 50% reductions that knocked me for 6.

 

 

 

[Freedom15]

Been up and down with the stress of lockdown, self isolation for nearly 8 weeks..

 

Having the kids here and 5 people in house has caused me to get to points where my mental health

has been bad. Almost like puting me into a wave from it.

 

4 more days and i will reduce by 12.5% again.

 

Always going down..

 

 

[Freedom15]

Having a real hard tine at the moment.

 

switching between stable and unstable daily a lot of the  time. Stress is overloading me. 
 

2 weeks left to next planned withdral.

 

feels never ending. Having the kids week on week off has brought a lot of stress that is causing me yo be overloaded then bring on withdarwl effects. 
 

Have been vary negative and upsetting my wife and kids. Really hard at moment. Vary tired as its been so tuff with living in sideeffects withdrawl for 6 years now. Pray it will end soon

[Freedom15]

At what point do you say you have reduced enough to be able ot come off the medication.

 

If you are on such a mega small amount and you are still ill with side effects or with withdrawl of coming off the medication what do you do ??

 

I am just so tired of the daily ground hog life of it all thats been happening for 6 years now.

 

 

 

 

[Freedom15]

Next reduction on 12.june.2020

 

10mg in 1250ml water

 with 0.02ml taken out

 

0.02ml added to 2000ml water

 

Final dose take from last solution is 0.08ml

 

 

[ChessieCat]

What mg dose is 0.08ml equal to?  Because that is the measurement that is consistently used on SA, it would be helpful if you included that information when posting your dose.  Thank you.

[Freedom15]

So hopefully if i worked out the maths right the  dose is

 

0.0000000064mg

 

I am currently using the same 0.08ml end dose but the water dilution with the 10mg tablet is being changed everytime.

 

Once i can no longer add further water to the first dilution i will then reduce the 10mg tablet by 10-25% each time

 

Then finally i will reduce the end dose of the 0.08ml by 10-25% and hopefully that will be me at point to

finally come off the meds.

 

Quite few months left doing this tho.

 

Reductions are still hard with symptoms on and coming off the medication.

 

 

[bmi197143]

On 6/11/2020 at 1:08 AM, Freedom15 said:

So hopefully if i worked out the maths right the  dose is

 

0.0000000064mg

 

I am currently using the same 0.08ml end dose but the water dilution with the 10mg tablet is being changed everytime.

 

Once i can no longer add further water to the first dilution i will then reduce the 10mg tablet by 10-25% each time

 

Then finally i will reduce the end dose of the 0.08ml by 10-25% and hopefully that will be me at point to

finally come off the meds.

 

Quite few months left doing this tho.

 

Reductions are still hard with symptoms on and coming off the medication.

 

 

Freedom I am currently trying to taper Amitriptyline also am at .017 mg how long to hold and how much at a time.

[Freedom15]

Hi bmi197143

 

I have read your thread about reducing amitriptyline.

The lower i got i changed from weighting the pills on the scale into tapering by water this really helped at the lower doses.

 

The question about how much to reduce at a time and how long to hold is vary personal to each one.

The suggested reductions is always 10% of the previous dose as stated here.

I have tried up to 50% reductions at this vary low dose which was horrific and i am able to mange between 10-25% max.

The higher the reduction percentge the harder the withdrawl is and the less i can be part of life.

 

Holding for a min of 4 weeks really. I am now holding for 6-8 weeks because this gives me time to recover between reductions and

have some stability with my family before going through reducitons again.

 

Happy to offer any experiance i have had.

[Freedom15]

Today i am starting to feel heavy withdrawl symptoms from this reduction.

This is inline with the normal time line of around 5-6 days after reducing.

I planned the reduction to start the week the kids are not here so

it was not so stessful.

 

As i have been through this many times i know its temporary and its a matter of just taking this slow

and not getting stressed. That is a key thing when i am unstable to stay carm.

[Puglet]

Freedom 15

 

how are you getting on

 

[Freedom15]

2 hours ago, Puglet said:

Freedom 15

 

how are you getting on

 

Hi Puglet..

 

I read you post sorry to see you are here for the same reasons as me.

 

At least you made it here.

 

There is information and support so at least you know you are not alone in this.

 

I am still tapering off the meds nearly 6.5years.

 

I am happy to offer any support i can around the symptoms and getting through a day at a time.

 

 

 

[Puglet]

I’m really struggling still with severe dizziness / tinnitus / fatigue 12 months off now I had 8 weeks of feeling so good but then 7 weeks ago I hit a wave & it’s just not going I feel so awful & sad I just crave my life before discontinuing amitriptyline 

[Freedom15]

Hi Puglet,

 

Sorry to hear you are not doing so well. Do you know what triggered the situation 8 weeks ago ?

 

Was there some stess or direct situation that may have caused you to go into a wave ?

 

I think the first thing that may help you is that you need to except where you are today.

I know that may sound strange to say except being ill but this will help you i think.

 

When i dont except my illness and symptoms i have then i become ill more.

 

Maybe if you can take it a day at time and focus on getting up and trying to do the best you can within the symptoms you have and then

at end of the day before you go to bed writing 10 positive things about the day you have had in diary. See if over period of week your overall mood

changes by doing this.

 

If this is as good as you have right now then the option is to either battle against or except.

 

I am yet to get off the tablets i have been reducing for over 6.5 years now and still have terrible effects on or off this drug so i know how hard it can be.

There are days when i cry because i feel so lost and like i am never going to be well and then there are odd moments where i feel like i should do.

 

Always here to talk if need

 

 

 

 

[Puglet]

Hi freedom 

 

nothing to trigger this current wave it was literally overnight .

 

7 weeks on & still in this awful wave that doesn’t want to go .... it’s hit me so hard after having the 8 weeks of feeling so much better , I really did think I’d turned the corner & was healed but this as proved me so wrong .

 

how are you doing ?

[bmi197143]

Freedom I applaud you for taking this so far down and not jumping wow. This is the fight of our life. I hope we come through this.

[Freedom15]

59 minutes ago, Puglet said:

Hi freedom 

 

nothing to trigger this current wave it was literally overnight .

 

7 weeks on & still in this awful wave that doesn’t want to go .... it’s hit me so hard after having the 8 weeks of feeling so much better , I really did think I’d turned the corner & was healed but this as proved me so wrong .

 

how are you doing ?

Hi Puglet

 

Thanks for asking.

 

Up and down.. Holding for another month before my next reduction. Still have physical and emotional issues most days.

 

Nothing else to do than ride the waves.

 

If this is the best we got right now just got to find something within this mess to hold onto to..

 

What do you do on daily basis if dont mind me asking ??

 

 

[Freedom15]

1 hour ago, bmi197143 said:

Freedom I applaud you for taking this so far down and not jumping wow. This is the fight of our life. I hope we come through this.

Hi thanks for the kind words.

 

Nothing more than to come through this..

 

Have faith and believe we are not ment ot be this way forever.

[Puglet]

On 7/6/2020 at 4:48 PM, Freedom15 said:

Hi Puglet

 

Thanks for asking.

 

Up and down.. Holding for another month before my next reduction. Still have physical and emotional issues most days.

 

Nothing else to do than ride the waves.

 

If this is the best we got right now just got to find something within this mess to hold onto to..

 

What do you do on daily basis if dont mind me asking ??

 

 

Yes unfortunately we have to ride the waves horrendous experience &

one I never I’d be doing .

i currently am unable to work due to how severe & debilitating the protracted withdrawals are 12 months I’ve been going through this .

 

i work for my husbands consultancy business when I’m fit & well .

 

 

[Freedom15]

Yep i had to stop work in 2014 and have not worked since.

I had been a heating engineer for 25 years and had a well paid job working for a boiler manufacture.

I lost me job through my employement being termiated du ill health and my home at that time was sold

as i could no longer pay the mortgage.

It's taken me 6.5 year of reducing to get this low on the medication and the effects of the meds are still vary strong so when i was at 25-50mg it must been

really doing some stuff to me.

I dont even know whats going to happen when i finally have to come off.

All i have is the experiance in 2014 which i never want to go through again.

I did not think a trip to the doctors would end up in such horrific life i had to get through daily.

 

It causes alot of stress and upset in our relationship here because i am so up and down on daily basis.

I just hope and pray some day i will get to where i am ment to be and you also.

 

I dont think we are ment to be like this. It has bought up alot of learning tho thtough this diverse situation.

 

 

 

[Freedom15]

Really struggling at home.

 

My moods are changing and i am flipping from ok to aggitated all time with tremours.

 

It's so hard for me and everyone around me. not a vary nice place sometimes causing me wife and kids upset.

 

I really dont want to live life like this. Not even off the medication yet.

 

Only have my experiance of coming off the medication in 2014 and this causes me fear of it happening again the way it did.

 

I just hope i get more stable soon. I am holding for 2 months this time to try get so rest byte from it but at moment it does not seem to be happening.

[Erell]

Hello Freedom,

 

I'm sorry to read that you're struggling right now.

 

In 2014 you CTed, while this time you've done a slow taper.

 

We would think that after a slow taper and at such low doses you wouldn't have issues.

But it seems like your CNS still has healing work to do.

 

I'm sorry I don't have my computer, so can't paste you the link : Brassmonkey wrote an essay called "it doesn't end at 0", maybe it would be interesting to read it ?

 

Good news is we know that the outcome is recovery ❤

 

Hang on to brighter days ☀️

[Freedom15]

Hi Erell,

 

Thanks for dropping by..

 

I found the piece that was written by brass monkey.

 

I truely feel that untill this stuff is out of my body it cant start to fully heal.

 

I have made progress from where i was in 2014 i have to remember that. It's just when i feel ill in wave it just takes me back to all the pain and suffering and

i feel hopeless again like it's never going to end.

 

One biggest things that knocks me is when the kids are all here. The chaos and unmanagability and pulling at me just sends me over the edge and i become vary ill

and go into a wave.

 

Next friday when come again i must try to remove myself from alot of the stuff that happens.

 

 

[Freedom15]

Few days of feeling slightly better altho i feel like i have go a wave possible coming again today.

 

I am going out on the train to knottingham to do some street photogrpahy so hopefully that will

take my mind off things.

 

 

[Puglet]

So the tears won’t stop falling 12 months off amitriptyline & feeling so bad ... heavy head feel so sad no motivation when does all this end .

im

really experiencing feelings I’ve never felt before I loved life prior to discontinuing this drug what as it done to me .

[Freedom15]

Hi Puglet..

 

Sorry to hear you are still suffering. I know these things take time to recover from and alot time i just feel hopeless in my life like i will never get better.

 

I know we want to be back to how we were before we took the drugs. I tihink no one knows what will happen gonig forwards tho. Time is a great heeler

and from the sounds of it your CNS is going through alot right now. You need to just try to trust that things will work themselves out in long run.

 

I used to cry alot when i was on higher dose and one reducing the meds sometings for days on end. That seems to have gone now i am on the lower doses.

 

The symptoms i have still are from drugs themselves and side effects and mixture of withdrawl.

 

Really not nice at all to live with or be around.

 

How are you looking after yourself do you try to do things that are nurturing to your soul at all ?

 

I find walking in nature, listening to music are all vary helpful learnig to try get out of all the symptoms.

 

One thing from early on that has really helped me is to have a base line.

 

This is where my condition is right now. I will then not talk about that only if i go beyond that base line.

 

I find the constant asking how i am then saying i am ill then telling all the symptoms only drew me futher into them.

 

Maybe try to find some acceptence if can that this is as good as it gets right now.

 

The more you just look at the old you and wish that back the more iller you may feel.

 

Your CNS system needs to be cared for right now with love and kindness and this has to start from ourselves and how we look after ourselves both physically, mentaly and spiritually.

 

Hoping you will get break from it all soon..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Freedom15]

Last 2 days has been terrible.

 

I messed a dose meds up and ended up having withdrawl for 2 days which involved me and my wife falling out and having massive argument.

 

I really hate that some of the side effects are aggitation and anger..

[Freedom15]

Today has not been a good day.

 

Our kids are here and they kept us awake to 12.30am in morning with there noise. I ended up having to move a matress downstairs to try and get some sleep.

 

I didn't get hardly any sleep and have been in bed all day with symptoms of withdrawl and nurological overload..

 

I have been shacking all day and just in terrible mood way.

 

Getting sleep is so important with been ill like this.

 

I have spoken to them about this countless times and been in this situation countless times.

 

Hopefully i will get better sleep tonight and feel more com=nnected to life tomorrow.

 

 

 

 

[Freedom15]

Friday will be my next planned reduction after holding for 2 months.

 

Altho it has not been perfect. Holding for 2 months has helped to get some time of not feeling so ruff.

 

I will make up enough syringes again for 2 months this time.

 

the reduction will be

 

10mg in 1560ml water

 with 0.02ml taken out

 

0.02ml added to 2000ml water

 

Final dose take from last solution is 0.08ml

 

which if maths are right will give 0.0000000048mg

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Freedom15]

Started my reduction tonight.

 

Will take a few days to things start to happen.

 

 

[Freedom15]

Few days into my reduction.

 

Feeling a bit physically ruff and not interested in doing stuff.

 

Been in bed today for while.

[Freedom15]

In bed today

 

reduction has been hitting me hard with bad mood swings being aggitated and negative and causing

situations in the home all time.

 

Hopefully will feel better soon.

 

Just so tired of feeling ill most time.

 

 

 

[Freedom15]

So tired of being under the influance of the medication even at this low dose.

 

Cant beleive how much this stuff messes us all up.

 

2 weeks in now to my reductions. been up and down with my mental and physocal health.