potions: off Zoloft since August 2016

[Kristine]

Edit: I've moved this from the PSSD topic where you originally posted this.

   21 minutes ago,  potions said: 

There is a member on this forum (who I will not out) who has been continually telling me that we are probably permanently damaged and PSSD rarely heals. He's told me he's read numerous books about the drugs and psychiatry and that almost all of them say the drugs permanently damage the brain and CNS. He says most people who "recover" don't go back to 100% and most people rarely even improve. He told me that humans are too stupid to treat PSSD so probably there won't be any sort of treatment for this condition for decades. We have been talking outside of this website. He is very negative and has made me cry. He recently told me that nobody goes back to 100% after PSSD and it's most likely permanent damage. This is where I'm getting all of these negative things from. I told him I didn't want to talk to him. I'm in distress now. I wanted to post about this. See you later everyone

Hey Potions, Some people will be intent on dragging you into their dark hole of misery.  After all "misery loves company". For your wellbeing you may need to block this person on this site...and any further steps to eliminate communication elsewhere. It is just not worth it and will no doubt delay your healing because of the stress. I hope this helps. K 

[ChessieCat]

13 minutes ago, Kristine said:

Some people will be intent on dragging you into their dark hole of misery.  After all "misery loves company"

 

I doubt that you be friends with this sort of person in real life.  You need to take care of yourself on the internet just like you do in the real world. 

[Rosetta]

Please don't take Adderal.  I think that would harm you.  You are fragile right now.  Anything that affects your brain is likely to cause you further problems and to delay your recovery.  Even if it might not it's not worth the risk.  

 

As for this person saying people are permanently damaged, that has been shown to be incorrect by numerous people who have recovered.  I see no reason for PSSD to be an exception.  Dystonia and tardive dyskinesia are other "supposedly permanent" conditions, but mine are resolving.  It's slow, but it's definitely happening. You will notice that I took Zoloft, too, but for much longer than you did.  I am getting better all the time even in the s-e-x department.  I suspect that doctors are seeing people fail to recover because they keep prescribing drugs to those people.  Doctors and experts don't seem to consider anything "curable" unless they have developed a cure for it.  That means drugs.  Drugs cause further damage to people in this condition.  The idea that the body and brain can heal on its own would mean those doctors and experts are irrelevant in this matter.  They don't like being considered irrelevant.

[potions]

You're so smart and so right, Rosetta. Thank you, I really needed to hear this. The whole "permanent brain damage" thing is just so grey to me. What separates "permanence" from "persistence?" I was thinking maybe the authors of the books my friend read knew something about certain areas of the brain or receptors etc that truly were permanently damaged and could never be restored again, which frightened me. I know that listening to too much headphone music can permanently burn out the hair cells in the ears and these can never go back to how they were before, those hair receptors are gone. But maybe the books were just written to scare people out of taking psych drugs or notify people of the dangers of these poisons (which people certainly need). . . I don't trust doctors nor do I trust any other "professionals" anymore really. We're all humans and our species once almost all believed that the earth was the center of the universe. I think you are right that we need to stay away from drugs to allow the brain and body to heal from PSSD. Thank you

[potions]

I just found out that I’ve been taking a serotonin reuptake inhibitor unknowingly for the past three months—Benadryl. I feel as though I’ve lost all progress. 

According to Healy, these types of antihistamines that inhibit the reuptake of serotonin can also cause persistent sexual dysfunction. Have I just lost all progress and delayed my recovery in PSSD? Time to start from day 1. Unless of course melatonin, loratadine, aniracetam, or dicyclomine also inhibit the reuptake of serotonin. Have I lost all progress?

[Rosetta]

You must not get too upset over the fact that your use of Benadryl might be a problem for you.  It might not be.  You have been having nice windows after all.  What you do now is what is important.  Don't take action while in a panic.  Should you taper Benadryl?  Should you keep taking it?  Those are the questions you need to calmly answer.  

 

Benadryl can create a paradoxical reaction even if that doesn't happen right away.  It might cause rebound insomnia, too.  Those may be reasons to try to stop taking it.  Stopping it might make you feel bad because of histamine issues.  I would love to see what a Mod who is knowledgable about the issue might have to say about what to consider in making a decision about what you should do now.

 

As to whether all your progress is lost, I'm not sure it can be that black and white.  There are a lot of different biological functions going on in WD.  Whether the most problematic -- destabilization of the CNS -- is related to a histamine reaction isn't clear.  Benadryl is an anti-histamine, and so are SSRIs.  Does that mean you have to start from Day 1?  I don't see any evidence for that.  

 

While the use of Benadryl isn't advisable, it's not necessarily true that you have set yourself back.  For all we know Benadryl may have helped you, but in ADWD people are so sensitive that I wouldn't recommend it just as I wouldn't recommend a number of other things -- because of the risk.  You have taken the risk, unknowingly, and you are still improving.  So far, it looks like you got lucky -- you got the benefit without the negative effect.  

 

At some point, Healy apparently said Benadryl is "a less potent SSRI." I haven't seen that statement from him myself, but he apparently recognized that people in SSRI WD were suffering from withdrawal of the anti-histamine action of the AD.  I'm pretty sure this has been a problem for me.  I'm not sure that all of my WD symptoms have to do with the histamine issue.  I think there are multiple factors involved, multiple receptors, and that the main problem for me -- anxiety -- may not have much to do with histamine issues.  I definitely have some allergy like issues going on.

 

See this thread: http://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/505-antihistamines-and-what-to-use-for-allergy-relief/?page=3

 

Altostrata says that anti-histamines act on some of the same receptors as SSRIs.  Which ones and whether they are the same ones your AD targeted, I don't know. Maybe trying to figure out that answer would be useful and maybe not.  Now that you have been taking Benadryl for 3 months how you stop taking it without consequences is the question you want to calmly answer.

 

[potions]

Thanks Rosetta. Should I taper off the Benadryl? I have seasonal allergies and they are pretty bad. I’ve had to take allerga and stuff before swim practices even before SSRIs. I took benadryl this winter as a sort of double whammy: help the allergies and help me sleep. Would it be okay to just switch it to loratadine? I heard this med was good for people with PSSD too; I hope it doesn’t affect serotonin though or other receptors that ssris hit. I saw a window this December and early January before I started Benadryl. Once I started taking Benadryl, I haven’t had a sexual window since. I definitely think this is related to the fact that I was taking Benadryl. I hope it didn’t do further damage to my PSSD. Would it be alright to just switch to loratadine and keep taking the melatonin nightly? I will live with allergies if none of these antihistamines are safe for people in ssri WD, or further damage pssd. I’d rather have a constant runny nose and absolutely no ability to breathe through my nose for the rest of my life and have a libido than have a clear sinus and numb genitals. I can’t risk taking anything that can mess me up more sexually. Also in this wd process, insomnia has been a frequent and debilitating symptom which is why I bought Benadryl and melatonin in the first place. I need suggestions on how to sleep/taper off Benadryl if I can’t sleep with Benadryl at first. Thanks in advance, whoever can help.

[Altostrata]

Does Benadryl help you sleep? If not, stop taking it.

 

Loratidine will not help you sleep. It is for allergies only.

[potions]

Benadryl does help me sleep, yes. But I’m afraid it might be preventing me from healing my PSSD because it acts as an ssri according to Wikipedia and Dr Healy.

[potions]

Wow! I may as well just take Zoloft again. I’ve been taking aniracetam almost daily for cognitive enhancement this semester. And look what I just found out about *it*:

“Aniracetam also increases motivation and mood by acting as a dopamine and serotonin reuptake inhibitor.”

 

Great. So Benadryl +aniracetam. Was I basically taking an ssri all semester?

 

Edited March 23, 2018 by ChessieCat
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[Rosetta]

Maybe it is a very mild SSRI.  You can't panic.  You have been doing so well!  You have seen enormous improvement these past few months.  You have to remember this: the pharm companies have been trying to make their drugs as potent as possible.  The doses are very high -- double or triple what is necessary according to the research that we have been able to see.  I think a lot of the supplements sold are full of inert ingredients.  They are often a huge scam.  They may have a placebo effect.  I am NOT saying they can't be dangerous or that it's safe to take them, but I would not panic because you have been taking something like that.  It is as likely to have had no effect on you whatsoever as to be a potent substance that is going to turn out to be something that has set you back.  

[potions]

Thanks Rosetta. I have stopped taking benadryl and melatonin completely and have not taken aniracetam since posting but still have the bottle in case I need it for exam week. I won't take the adderall. Update at 19 months off: Music sounded intense and moving all month. Anhedonia was improved and the world seemed colorful again. Sexually I was improved too, but not close to pre-SSRI. But something went badly wrong in my life this week and I burned the bridge with my best friend forever. I have been paralyzed by misery and shame ever since. Now I'm coming into a wave and music sounds like boring static again, the way it did in February. Even with coffee, etc. Anxiety is running through me. I have negative, hopeless thoughts. I just don't know how much more of this I can take.

[powerback]

3 minutes ago, potions said:

Thanks Rosetta. I have stopped taking benadryl and melatonin completely and have not taken aniracetam since posting but still have the bottle in case I need it for exam week. I won't take the adderall. Update at 19 months off: Music sounded intense and moving all month. Anhedonia was improved and the world seemed colorful again. Sexually I was improved too, but not close to pre-SSRI. But something went badly wrong in my life this week and I burned the bridge with my best friend forever. I have been paralyzed by misery and shame ever since. Now I'm coming into a wave and music sounds like boring static again, the way it did in February. Even with coffee, etc. Anxiety is running through me. I have negative, hopeless thoughts. I just don't know how much more of this I can take.

Hi P I empathize with you ,that's unfortunate with your friend but your under tremendous stress with this process ,its still very raw in you and its inevitable youl take a dive ,but please don't catastrophize .a good while back I gave up on a very close friendship  after it wore me out and was making me even more sick ,it took me ages to realise nothing is more important than me .

What ever happened ,they simply couldn't understand how our brains are messed with .

I understand youl tut to do this but the pain of it will ease off .

try and concentrate on everything else in your life .

Be safe . 

[1Day]

On 22/03/2018 at 2:34 AM, Rosetta said:

As for this person saying people are permanently damaged, that has been shown to be incorrect by numerous people who have recovered.  I see no reason for PSSD to be an exception.  Dystonia and tardive dyskinesia are other "supposedly permanent" conditions, but mine are resolving.  It's slow, but it's definitely happening. You will notice that I took Zoloft, too, but for much longer than you did.  I am getting better all the time even in the s-e-x department. 

 

Hi Rosetta,

 

I was reading what you wrote above and was just wondering how long after being off the medication did things start to improve for you?  Would you say that you had PSSD after coming off the medication?  I have it.  I have been off the drug for nearly 15 months now.  Still waiting to see improvement.

 

So glad to hear you are getting better

 

Thanks,

1Day

[Rosetta]

3 hours ago, 1Day said:

I was reading what you wrote above and was just wondering how long after being off the medication did things start to improve for you?  Would you say that you had PSSD after coming off the medication?  I have it.  I have been off the drug for nearly 15 months now.  Still waiting to see improvement.

 

It comes and goes.  I don't pay much attention to that part of my life because I feel terrible, and I have no interest in sex whatsoever.  That doesn't bother me too much because I'm 49.  I know interest will return someday, and therefore, it's not a symptom of my focus.  I'm much more concerned about anxiety and motivation to do daily life maintenance tasks.  I'm sure if I were young it would bother me a lot.  That said, I wonder if that sort of motivation will return about the same time that my sexual desire returns.

 

However, I do notice every so often that I feel desire or I have a dream about it.  I could tell you which month after I quit the medication that I noticed improvement, but that wouldn't help you much.  No one has the same or even close to the same time period with regard to cessation of a particular symptom.  It seems that each of our brains work on repair of different symptoms at different times, and it's very random from person to person.  

 

Also, I had normal functioning for months after I quit Zoloft, but I didn't realize I was sick with some sort of illness that was causing all my symptoms until month 5 or 6.  I felt worse symptoms overall until month 10, and then I began to see improvement in my worst symptoms -- DP, DR, Akathisia.  After month 10 or maybe 11 I noticed sexual sensitivity return.  Now, it comes and goes in windows and waves, but I rarely notice when it returns.  I am pretty certain it's only there when I'm in a window even if it's a "dirty window" meaning not a feeling of normalcy, but a marked improvement in overall symptoms.  My main symptoms now are intense anxiety, dystonia, restless leg syndrome, and intense muscle tension.  Once in a while I think I have a bit of Akathisia.  

 

I hope that helps a bit.  -- Rosetta

[potions]

These rages are just too much. This symptom has been relentless--every sound my roommates make, I cannot focus on anything but that sound. Everything annoys me so much. Friends who say ignorant things then skip off, acting like they're right and refusing to consider that they might be completely wrong fill be with infuriating rage. I find myself -when I'm alone-regularly smacking my bed, the wall, myself, kicking, squeezing things around me in uncontrollable rage. I feel like a toddler. Is this part of wd too? Should I be done with withdrawal by now (19 months out)? 

[powerback]

1 hour ago, potions said:

These rages are just too much. This symptom has been relentless--every sound my roommates make, I cannot focus on anything but that sound. Everything annoys me so much. Friends who say ignorant things then skip off, acting like they're right and refusing to consider that they might be completely wrong fill be with infuriating rage. I find myself -when I'm alone-regularly smacking my bed, the wall, myself, kicking, squeezing things around me in uncontrollable rage. I feel like a toddler. Is this part of wd too? Should I be done with withdrawal by now (19 months out)? 

Potions you have written everything I go through ,its beyond ridiculous ,its heart breaking .I got off the phone this morning  with doctors surgery and I l flipped when I got off the phone .I waited a week to see a doctor and my appointment wasn't booked ,I now have to wait until next Tuesday ,the incompetence of them tipped me over the edge .but I felt better after the release [loads of tension in my body released ] .I don't even want to go near them but I'm building up infections that have my body scarily weak .

do you exercise or find a release.

ive often hit myself ,my partner came home one day and asked whats the blood on my forehead ,I was mortified with embarrassment and shame ,I had thumped my head off the corner of the door [not mad hard ].

theres more going on than a tantrum ,its scary  ,be safe .

[powerback]

 I’m feeling better today though because I’ve been the swimming pool, done loads of laps and got rid of the tension out of my muscles. The tension in my muscles seems to have a strangle hold on my mood, and my mood doesn’t improve until the tension is dissipated. 

 

Above is  a quote from lakelander82 today and there is a lot of sense in what is said here .

[potions]

Thanks Powerback. It’s encouraging to know that others are experiencing this too and it might go away like other wd symptoms. I do find exercise helpful for the rages, and I’m lucky that I have water polo practice today so I can work off some of the pent up tension.

[powerback]

8 minutes ago, potions said:

Thanks Powerback. It’s encouraging to know that others are experiencing this too and it might go away like other wd symptoms. I do find exercise helpful for the rages, and I’m lucky that I have water polo practice today so I can work off some of the pent up tension.

At least that's something ,don't worry ,just don't do it in public ,society is so ignorant .try not judge yourself harshly ,it has to calm down after withdrawl .I have a friend never had meds ,he often punches walls because hes kids irritate him when they don't do what there told [what's he's excuse ].

Are you getting them rages  every day .I get highly irritated every day but not the rages .

its not a bad idea to  distance yourself from these friends for a while if this is the outcome after being with them .

Take care  

[potions]

I’m alright today. Emotions are sort of here. Mostly bad ones but I have them. Rage, energetic anger. Then sadness, missing people. Hope and appreciation. Anxiety. Sensitivity in genitals is okay, maybe 6-7/10 (10 being pre-SSRI.) All other PSSD symptoms are bad but the genital anesthesia and emotional blunting were my most distressing symptoms and they are improved today.

 

That said, with every recovery story I read about PSSD, I find 1-2 stories of people suffering for years and years with the condition. I understand it may go away on its own but I can’t wait forever. This isn’t life. This is me sitting in a corner, biting my nails, checking the clock every five seconds for pssd to go away. My roommate takes Zoloft, I just found out. The poison that put me in the darkest place of my life is sitting just feet away from me on a wooden table in this room.

 

I’m hanging on because my other withdrawal symptoms have massively improved over the past few months. Extreme anxiety/akathisia, crawling out of my skin feelings, shaking, extreme anhedonia (although anhedonia is still there), and the extreme depression that rendered me unable to even breathe and too anxious to even move (although I was constantly shaking and moving due to akathisia.)

 

I’m just waiting now. Hoping that all of the other symptoms clear up and PSSD goes away. I fantasize about the day that PSSD goes away. That will be the best day of my life.

cheers

[potions]

I actually feel pretty good today! I have massive relief from the gnawing depression I've felt on and off for the past 10 or so months.  I have butterflies in my stomach (the feeling I had almost 24/7 before I started zoloft), and it overjoys me to feel that again. Fluttery, nervous, excited anxiety. I'm loving it. I missed that feeling so much. Anhedonia seems massively improved; I don't feel stuck in my body or socially unnatural due to blunted emotions. I don't feel it is 100%, but it is most certainly improved from earlier this year and this summer. Sensitivity in genitals is 6-7/10. Am I turning the corner finally? Will I recover from PSSD soon?

[potions]

I should note that my genital sensitivity is really not even close to how it was pre-SSRI, and I have every other PSSD symptom including anorgasmia, muted orgasms, low libido, etc. But the sensitivity is the only thing that has improved recently (in this window?) And I don't feel as depressed as I have earlier in wd.

[Rosetta]

I'm glad to hear you are seeing improvement.  It's perfect that you have written it down.  Now you can remember this when you have a wave.  That's important because it may feel as if you won't have another window, but you will.  You are going to be fine.

[potions]

This may not be the place for this but I don’t know where else to go. With this increased emotionality comes increased emotional pain. I miss my friend so much but I said such hurtful things to him and I don’t think he will ever forgive me. He said ignorant things about SSRIs and pssd and told me I’m not a doctor so I can’t say anything about it and stuff and it really set me off. Now I can never go back to him. We were best friends. This is the third time in my life something like this has happened with a very close friend of mine. I don’t know what to do, I’m in real real pain right now and it’s all my fault. He hates me and I can never call him again . I’m hurting. I’m sorry, this is unrelated to withdrawal. But I have no one else I feel I can go to. I have social phobia and he was my only friend. . . It’s times like these when I wish I was emotionally blunted. I can’t take this pain. I lost my best friend...and all I want is to call him right now and say I’m sorry...but he won’t pick up. I’ve tried.

[Rosetta]

Potions, 

Many of us cannot find anyone in the real world who understands what is happening to us.  It is much too foreign to the experiences of others.   Your friend is quite young, I assume -- 19?  I'm so sorry that you lost his friendship.  It's not your fault and it's not his fault.  It's unfortunate circumstance due to what the WD is doing to your brain.  Try to be compassionate to yourself when you think about your fight.  You did make a mistake, but WD helped you make it.  Try to forgive yourself.

 

You are no doubt feeling neuro-emotions -- very strong emotions, and the loss of a friend --a best friend -- is hard enough without WD.  What to do?

 

Take care of yourself.  Immerse yourself in tv shows or a book series.  They make a good substitute for friends, and they have nothing to do with WD.  It's good to get out of your own head in a space where WD does not exist.  I watch tv on my iPad while sitting in the bath.  

 

Your sad feelings will come and go.  They won't be constant.  Focus on this fact when you feel very sad.  Everything is temporary.  WD is temporary, too.  You will come out of this having learned to be a good friend to yourself.  Your rift with your friend is probably temporary, too.  Someday you'll be able to explain to him without neuro-emotions interfering, and he will understand better.  You can be friends again.  Maybe you will be even better friends.  Anything is possible.  

 

Right now, you must love yourself and care for yourself the way almost no friend would ever care for you.  Eat well, get a strict sleep schedule, stay off screens for hours before bed, take Epsom salts baths, and learn to accept your current situation while remembering that it is temporary.  If you do care for yourself this will be easier in the long run.

 

Peace, Rosetta

[bhasski]

12 hours ago, potions said:

He said ignorant things about SSRIs and pssd and told me I’m not a doctor so I can’t say anything about it and stuff and it really set me off. Now I can never go back to him. We were best friends. This is the third time in my life something like this has happened with a very close friend of mine. I don’t know what to do, I’m in real real pain right now and it’s all my fault. He hates me and I can never call him again .

 

I am sorry for what you are going through.

But realize that its not your fault.. its neuro emotions in wdl where we end up saying or doing hurtful which could be otherwise handled in easy manner.

 

Also, these people near and close to us are at fault,  thinking as the suffering person is mentally wrong on all fronts about meds.

 

I have made the mistake that you made... and I still feel very prone to making same, so I keep myself out of this argument. 

My sister, my doctor friend, mother  still dont believe about the meds... 

 

I have seen my doctor friend has a little change of view on my side after my 2.5 years of suffering but he has no answers except of western medicine.

 

I have not talked to my sister since 2 yrs. She lives in States and rarely come -  as I feel her disbelief in me causing havoc with my emotions.

 

This is what it is.. Dont let it hurt you... If you have the courage, then say him sorry... and dont push him if he dont understand.

 But its not your fault. 

 

 

 

 

 

[potions]

Thank you Rosetta so much for your kind words. You always seem to know how to help. I am torn between anger at him for not understanding and sadness about how we ended. I think you’re right about the neuroemotions. I think it’s a good idea to immerse myself in a good book or tv series but finals week is coming up and I unfortunately need to focus. Hopefully this summer I’ll be able to relax a bit and take care of myself. I hope one day he and I will be able to speak again and I can explain everything, but I have a horrible feeling that this may be it. He blocked me on Facebook and I think he blocked my texts too. He hasn’t responded to anything I’ve said. I am so sad. I’m trying to forgive myself but it’s so hard. I feel like a monster.

 

Bhasski, you’re right about how people misunderstand about withdrawal. I have never been so mentally unwell in my life as I am throughout this wd/pssd journey. 19.5 months and counting of pure torture unlike anything I have ever experienced before. Nobody seems to get this except for the fellow sufferers. I think I need to let this go and avoid talking about this to anyone except for withdrawal sufferers themselves. I miss my friend so much. I think I’ll write him an apology in a few months or so when the emotions (hopefully) aren’t so intense and I won’t be so hurt if he doesn’t reply. I don’t think he wants to hear from me at all right now. Thank you bhasski and Rosetta for your compassion.

[potions]

Extreme rage/agitation (feeling like I’m about to explode and wanting to throw a tantrum) and deep sadness have been present this week. Agitation/rage is a wd symptom that doesn’t seem to have cleared up yet. 

 

But the extreme anxiety/akathisia/restless unbearable painful anxiety feeling has significantly reduced, and I haven’t experienced that since mid February for only one day. I still have insomnia and am unfortunately taking melatonin every night for that.

 

A symptom that has been present with me since the beginning of withdrawal is something I call “annoyance with people”. I think it’s connected to anhedonia, but I basically feel extremely annoyed with every human I see in a very bored sort of way. Like I’m exhausted of everyone and socially disconnected. That symptom has been relentless but has come in windows and waves. I haven’t had that for 3 or so weeks now so I’m hopeful.

 

I feel like healing is happening, even if it’s painfully slow. I’ll keep updating.

 

thanks for reading

[Rosetta]

I'm glad you see some hope.  It's very slow, I know.  Being grateful for the symptoms anxiety and Akathisia having subsided is a good idea.   I'm so sorry you feel rage and are having sleep issues.  They are connected, I'm sure.  It is nice to get rid of the "annoyance with people" symptom.  That is tiring.  Remember to have compassionn for yourself. -- R

[bheb]

Hey potions -- I'm also a college student. I don't know about you but TONS of people on my campus take AD's and seem to be fine. Which seems to make this an even more lonely experience sometimes. 

 

I'm really glad to read for both your and my sake that the akathisia/restless symptoms let up. I'm still dealing with them. I'm sorry you're dealing with rage and sadness this week. 

[potions]

Hi bheb.

I agree; I can name at least 4 people on my floor alone who are taking or have taken psychiatric medications, including my roommate (who takes Zoloft!) It’s hard, but part of me thinks they are all being affected in some way, even the ones who claim to have had no trouble coming off. For example, this girl on my floor took lexapro in the past, and she talks a lot about how she experiences depersonalization. Something makes me think her depersonalization is due to previous ssri use without her even realizing it, as her symptoms comes in waves

 

I think your akathisia/restless anxiety will go away. That symptom was present for me very frequently until about month 12-13 when it started to significantly subside. Now I hardly get it anymore (although I still feel extreme rage/agitation/explosive feelings. It’s different though) 

 

good luck

[potions]

And thanks Rosetta

[potions]

19 hours ago, bheb said:

Hey potions -- I'm also a college student. I don't know about you but TONS of people on my campus take AD's and seem to be fine. Which seems to make this an even more lonely experience sometimes. 

 

I'm really glad to read for both your and my sake that the akathisia/restless symptoms let up. I'm still dealing with them. I'm sorry you're dealing with rage and sadness this week. 

 

[potions]

I took tyrosine and it seems to have exacerbated all of my wd symptoms. I feel awful.

[potions]

I am so so numb. Anhedonic, apathetic, unmotivated, tired, numb, emotionally blunted, and depersonalized. PSSD symptoms are terrible. I haven’t been this numb in a long long time... Also dizziness, brain zaps, anxiety due to l tyrosine, headaches, and just general dysphoria are present. Must be a wave