DMV64: reinstate Saphris?

[DMV64]

I don’t know mmt. I am doing the best I can. I am trying to participate. I have a math disability. I can’t help that. I am really trying. I am sorry. 

[DMV64]

Sorry I am in a bad place. I don’t think I can take on the new opportunities. I am too up and down and I can’t really find the confidence to take on a new thing. I did not see Brass Monkeys Response maybe because I’m looking on my phone or movie because I have a really crappy attention span.

[DMV64]

Maybe I will just hold. I need to make up only for days at a time and I’m going to be gone for longer than four days so it starts to get complicated and on manageable.

[manymoretodays]

It's not to make you feel bad.  I just noticed that brassmonkey had replied too......so pointed it out.  Hey...I'm using my droid now too.  I noticed when I was on my desktop though.  I miss a lot if I try to manage on this site via droid (phone).  Do you get to access a desktop ever.  Wouldn't that help too?

[DMV64]

Yes. I have a laptop but I’m not always in a place that I can access it. So I’m off and working off of my phone which can be a little harder to track things on.

[manymoretodays]

Brassmonkey's  answer was in regard to your tapering once more dry I think.  Your question about traveling with liquid came after.

[DMV64]

OK I don’t know I guess I’m a little out of it because I close my studio today I thought the last class there there were a lot of tears. And then we went back later on and started taking the whole place apart. So I’m a little emotional and I apologize.

[manymoretodays]

Yah.  I mean I get it.  I rarely work from my phone though.  My choice.  I hope I can get a laptop soon...I mean I'm planning to.  My desktop is great but laptops ARE portable I hear and see.  I feel like I live in a cave now....:-)  I don't .  :-)

[DMV64]

It was hard for me to comprehend BrassMonkeys maths even though I really appreciate it very much. 

[manymoretodays]

Oh......I'm sorry DMV.  Tough emo day.  I missed going to a free class right in my town today.  A studio....that made me think of you.  I usually go to the yoga at the gym.  And some excellent instructors there!  I am going to investigate this studio further though.  They offer expensive certification too!  Do not apologize DMV!!!!!  Why are you doing that?

[DMV64]

Thank you. I guess I said that because I feel like I’m trying to participate in my recovery here. And maybe I’m not doing such a good job I don’t know. I did try holding the liquid in my mouth to see how it would be. It’s hard to not swallow some of it when I swallow but if I lean forward a little then I seem to retain more of it to hold onto until it’s absorbed

[manymoretodays]

Oh....well here's my emo confession.   I started crying IN yoga class a couple weeks ago.  The grief I suppose...I got sad.  It was a gentle cry.  A night class.  She uses the best music.  It was cleansing and freeing to cry.  I don't think anyone noticed.  They might have felt the energy though.  Idk.  It was nice.  It's okay.  You are sad.

[manymoretodays]

:-)  Awesome!!!  Your observations.  TY.

[manymoretodays]

Might be good for you to take a break.....I mean if you are not feeling great about this other opportunity.   You'll make the right decision I bet.  Whatever it is.  Have a nice night.  Fall back alert!!!!  U.S. clocks.  Except Az.

[DMV64]

Xoxo

[Rosetta]

(((DMV)))

[DMV64]

 Thank you Rosetta. I was just thinking of posting how I’m feeling about work. It just feels like the place I’m at in my taper is making me have a lot of fear and anxiety about teaching. I’m not sure I can take on any more classes. Thank you for visiting and for the hugs. How are you doing?

[Rosetta]

 

My opinion is that you should take some time to grieve and not commit to anything that makes you uncomfortable right now.  I don't mean that you should retreat and be alone, but do things that are organized by others for a while.  Let yourself rest and grieve if you can.  I hope it's not necessary from a financial point of view that you dive into these other opportunities.  That said, this is my approach to life in general because I hate letting others down, failing to finish what I start or being flakey.  It's better for me to not do something than feel terrible that I have to back out, and let's face it, this illness is so unpredictable that it's a real possibility we have to back out.  So, I keep my obligations very low.

 

Thanks for asking.  I'm at "WD normal" as Brassmonkey calls it.  I can't read without getting neck and jaw tension.  My eyes are not able to focus well, and that is probably why my neck and jaw get tight.  So, I'm trying to stay away from the Internet.  Still having cortisol spikes through the night and before I wake, but I recover more quickly.  The days are better right now.  No aka or very little if it's there, less anxiety, but still not having a good appetite.  Trying to keep blood sugar high enough is difficult.  This isn't a window, but I'll take it.

[DMV64]

3 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

cortisol

Oh boy do I relate to that. Mine just seem to always be there. It’s good to hear how you’re managing now and that even if it is in a window there are still things that are better. It’s very helpful for me to read stuff like this.

I think you’re right about not pushing myself. It’s weird because I keep getting asked to teach a class or sub a class or take a training and I just don’t know how much I can do right now. Or how much is helpful and distracting in a good way or how much my feel like too much pressure

 

[JanCarol]

Hey D - 

 

On 11/2/2018 at 9:03 PM, DMV64 said:

First I’m just wondering if it’s possible for me to do one more dry drop? I’m asking because I’m traveling to Florida in December and doing the liquid is going to be really difficult. I’m not sure what the percentages between my current dose in the neck drop if I could get away with it. And then start the liquid after that. The other question I have is how am I going to not swallow for 10 minutes. Just her being at the dentist I know that’s not possible for me. Is there somewhere you swallow without swallowing the liquid?

 

It's fine to not taper when you have an event like this. I agree with MMT that you could wait until you get back to taper.  All the wisdom says not to taper when you travel, or have a major life event.  

 I thought that you would be unable to measure a dry cut beyond this point?  If you are confident you can measure the cut, then - fine.  But I thought the reason we were switching to liquid was because you couldn't get down to 0.009 on your scales?  Do you tare the scale with a nickel on it to improve accuracy?

 

Brassmonkey said to practice holding in your mouth with water.

 

By coincidence, I just started an herbal tincture which requires holding under the tongue for as long as possible (preferably 10 minutes!)  Guess what?  The longest I've been able to hold it is 6 minutes!  So it will be a good idea to practice.  I used to oil-pull with coconut oil and hold it for 10-15 minutes.  It's impossible for me to talk without swallowing the liquid (and with oil pulling, you do not want to swallow, it must be spit out, because it is "pulling" toxins from your mouth)

I don't think you should use water to practice, because you won't know if you have succeeded.  I would suggest using something with a flavour or texture like salt water, lemon juice in water, orange juice or coconut oil, so that you will know when you have successfully held it for 10 minutes.  Start practicing!

 

On 11/4/2018 at 10:03 AM, manymoretodays said:

 It may be quicker than 10 minutes.  

 

With Saphris it will not.  10 minutes is required to absorb the Saphris sublingually.  
 

On 11/4/2018 at 10:16 AM, DMV64 said:

Maybe I will just hold. I need to make up only for days at a time and I’m going to be gone for longer than four days so it starts to get complicated and on manageable.

 

I think this is wise.  

 

On 11/4/2018 at 10:22 AM, DMV64 said:

OK I don’t know I guess I’m a little out of it because I close my studio today I thought the last class there there were a lot of tears. And then we went back later on and started taking the whole place apart. So I’m a little emotional and I apologize.

 

Another good reason to hold.

I'm sorry you're going through this - my studio closes on the 16th of Dec...so we have a long s-l-o-w wind-down.  My shaman class may be the last class in the studio - ever.  And it's not even my studio, I'm just one of the people there...

 

On 11/5/2018 at 2:02 AM, DMV64 said:

I think you’re right about not pushing myself. It’s weird because I keep getting asked to teach a class or sub a class or take a training and I just don’t know how much I can do right now. Or how much is helpful and distracting in a good way or how much my feel like too much pressure

 

That's good that you are getting opportunities and are in demand.  That means you can pick and choose the opportunities which feel right for you, right now. 

See the sun today?

[DMV64]

 Hey I’m dictating as I am between two different tasking. The reason I thought that I had to use a liquid at this point is because the percentage drops from .010 to .009 was more than 10% but if it’s just a little bit more maybe I can make one more dry cut. 

I did say yes to one of the class opportunities. I’m feeling kind of anxious about it now. It’s a very highly regarded studio and it’s out of my lineage but the owner really seems to want me to take the position and I want to I just feel scared.

 Also I have been practicing holding water in my mouth. It’s not easy and I have to lean forward so that I don’t swallow it. I’ll try putting some flavoring in. 

[JanCarol]

Hey D - 

 

your question about the meditation class - 

 

I found this site in Australia called "Big Feels" - it's about dealing with big emotions.

 

Here's a great article about "how much to take on":

 

https://bigfeels.club/read/2018/9/8/should-i-push-myself-or-take-it-easy

 

 

[DMV64]

1 hour ago, JanCarol said:

Here's a great article about "how much to take on":

Oh boy do I need this. Going to read it now. I think I have decided now is not the time for me to take on a whole new community class.

[DMV64]

Hello Friends...

Been doing some reading here on things like Limbic System Retraining and I have to say sometimes the more I read the more I feel like I am never getting out of this. I don't know. There are so many angles, so many approaches, just so much information. I just want to get better. I wonder if I am doing the right things at the right times. Eating right, cleaning my house with the right products. In some ways I feel my functionality has dipped lately. Maybe it is because of the studio ending. Anyway just sharing. Tomorrow is another day. The sun will rise.

[Rabe]

Hi DMV...I think just the emotional stress of closing your studio could be enough to set things off.  I find any kind of stress can make a difference:  mental, physical, emotional, foods, hydration, environment.  Today I went into a department store and my eyes got all red an all...just way over the top on everything. Thinking about you and wanted you to know...I'm sorry about your studio but I also believe at the right time you will be doing something you love again!  💜

[DMV64]

Thanks for stopping by and for all of your kind words. Yes I’m sure the stress of the studio is adding to everything. I don’t know what’s next, right now I’m teaching classes at other places but I’m not even sure that I want to keep teaching yoga. Although that might just be a reaction.

[DMV64]

@JanCarol @manymoretodays Well I went to an integrative medicine doctor. He took a lot of blood’s. One of them was my cortisol in the morning and my cortisol in the afternoon. He was surprised to find that it is reversed, meaning it is low in the morning and high in the afternoon. And I was surprised because I keep waking up with what I think are cortisol spikes but now that doesn’t make any sense. So I’m wondering what else could be causing the intense fear, anxiety and dread and panic in the morning every morning when I wake up.

I’ve been doing a little reading on paradoxical reactions and interdose drop out and things like that and I’m wondering if I need to move my timing around at all. I have shifted things a little bit due to my schedule, but I’ve been having the symptoms since I began this tapering over a year ago. So I am open to any ideas.

 

[DMV64]

Also was reading something Alto was saying about having Klonopin and Geoden too close together because they compete for the same liver enzymes. Something like that. Mine have migrated closer due to my schedule but its not like I wasn't already having these symptoms. I keep feeling like there has to be an answer, something I can do.

[manymoretodays]

Hi DMV64,

I just want to encourage you that you ARE doing something, even now........learning more about your drugs, as you keep on going along.

 

I found this Cortisol testing- in symptoms and self care.

I think there are pros and cons to it.  And then unfortunately integrative medicine doctors may not be well versed or versed at all in W/D.   So......without doing a further search on accuracy of blood measurements of Cortisol.......I'd have to say I don't know.  It's great you know your symptom pattern though.

 

And yes......I saw your post too......on another members topic, where you had connected the dots to your own situation.  You've got the drug interactions from Drugs.com.  And so...... there are more specific Geodon and Klonopin interactions(than what drugs .com goes into) that have to do with what is called the CytochromeP450 system.  There is more on this in the Journals section, on site here:  Liver Enzymes CytochromeP450 Drug Interactions Tables

And don't stress over all this DMV.......hey, easier said then done I know.  Just get a beginning idea is all I hope you will do right now.  And I think you can.  I know that you've noted that you have some visual and math limitations.  So.....just do the best you can.

And by golly.......more encouragement for you.  You HAVE come such a long way already.  In doing things, with your medications/drugs with more caution involved.  That's what I mean about you learning more about your drugs AND W/D too, as you go along here. 

 

Good questions that you are asking!!!

 

I think you last posted a good drug and symptoms log back on September 23rd

And ha......I found it and linked you to it.

 

Could you do a couple days of that again.   Even if you feel like everything is exactly the same now as then.  It's the most objective tool you have to share information with us.  And I know you CAN do it.

 

I hope that addresses your questions.

And as always......Love, peace, healing, and growth,

mmt

 

First snow last night!!!!  At least down in the lower elevations here.  That gives me a yay......happy, extra boost to my Sunday!  I like snow.

[DMV64]

 Hey there. Thank you for all the good information in the links. I will check them out, slowly. I can do another symptom long. I think things are about the same but it’s always good to do. Thank you for reminding me that I am getting better because it’s really hard to see sometimes. I just get overwhelmed with information and The probable length of time it is going to take me to become drug free or close to drug-free. 

[DMV64]

Omg MMT! That liver enzyme info sure is complex!

[Carmie]

Hi DMV, 

 

Thanks for popping by the other day. Just wanted to say hi. Hope you’re coping okay today. 

 

Keep enjoying your music🎼💚

[DMV64]

I forgot to mention my integrative doctor had the Breggins book on his shelf!

[manymoretodays]

18 hours ago, DMV64 said:

Omg MMT! That liver enzyme info sure is complex!

 

Hi DMV64,

Ayup.  You must have taken a look then!  And it does seem that way. 

I'm making headway in understanding a bit more.  And oh my.......it's important stuff too.  I mean some of these drug combinations/conflicts are downright dangerous and risky.  I don't get how some prescribers' even sleep at night. 

Lilu's post in that journal article topic that I linked you to......helped me understand.  Look at her example of how she figured why her dental injection lasted so long.

The CYP interactions can cause drastic changes in how your drug combination is metabolized........versus, if you were just taking one drug singularly.

 

So.  That's our introductory session for today's class.  JC may come by with a guided tutorial video soon.  She finds some great stuff.

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

mmt 

 

[manymoretodays]

1 hour ago, DMV64 said:

I forgot to mention my integrative doctor had the Breggins book on his shelf!

 

This is good too.  I have not read Breggins' as yet.  Have you?  I've seen him quoted, and perhaps seen some of work, or heard it.

That's awesome though.

[Rosetta]

Hi, DMV.  I'm wondering about the cortisol test.  I'm assuming you had the spike when you woke up and then went to the office for the morning test?  Or did you have a way to test from home?

 

I counted 5 cortisol spikes last night.  They are followed by hot flashes and then a feeling of being very cold.  I wish there was something I could do to stop them.  It makes for a difficult night.  I feel like I've been watching a horror movie all night.  

 

I'm sorry for your struggles.  This is truly a long, terrible illness.  There's no excuse for prescribing these drugs.  The doctors don't even know enough about them to obtain informed consent.  Well, no regrets as they don't help, but we just have to get through it. There will be an end to the misery eventually.  Then life will be so sweet.