Downbutnotout: Started a bridge to get off effexor

[Downbutnotout]

On 12/5/2017 at 9:24 AM, AliG said:

You may have to reiterate as it is unclear. What is sl ? ( addicted)

 

You upped Trazodone to 100  ~ from what?  What is your current regimen?

 

Okay , I feel like I’m in weird territory. I did take 3 beads of Effexor. I did this because I’m very sick with wd symptoms. If you look at my signature, I messed up with the trazadone. I upped it to 100 mg for 2 days, back to 5o. Holding steady with 50 for 2 days. After talking to new beginnings who is like an angel, she convinced me that I have to restart effexir. Bring do terrified of mania, I only upped it 3 beads. She’d suggested I go up 6 mg, but I was too afraid to do this. I’ve had scary mania where I get violent toward my husband and myself. After taking the 3 beads , I managed to play majong with people. The whole time I’m hating myself because I’m such a mess. Going through these terrible mood swings and feeling so suicidal has not helped me. I don’t feel I can go back to my psychiatrist because she woukd love to give me antipsychotics. And how about trying ect. I am seriously hating myself right now. Big time. How could I let this happen to me? I had it all. 

[Downbutnotout]

Okay, this is to the general population. I would love for Alostrate to possibly respond.  I am now taking trazadone 50 mg at 10:00 p.m. I fooled around with the trazadone like I should not have. I tried to put it in my drug signature. I was at first advised to try effexor 5 beads. I did this in one day, and felt I got too hyper. My psychiatrist had told me to up trazadone, and try to get over the depression this way. She had me try a lot of things. Anyway, I did up it several weeks ago. I thought I got a bad response, my eye started twitching and it frightened me. So after 2 days I stopped it. In the meantime, I was just trying the trazadone 50 mg. Last week I tried upping it 10 mg again . I got freaked out again, and stopped it. I have been talking to a very wonderful member, new beginning, and she advised me to try the effexor again. I mustered up the courage to try 3 beads today. It seemed to have helped. So, I figure I should keep up the 3 beads every day. How long? She had suggested more, but I am afraid of the mania. 

 

I know what everyone will say. I’m an idiot because I keep changing everything and can’t stick with a plan. Meanwhile I’m messing my poor brain up. My self esteem is horrible. After going through this humiliating experience. In the meantime, my eye keeps twitching a little bit. That i really scaring the hell out of me. 

 

To think a Psychiatrist did this to me. She tried too many procedures on me. Her next step is to have me try horrible antipsychotics. Like Seroquel. That was her latest suggestion. If 3 beads feel an effect, can you imagine with the dosages she wants me to continue taking. Her last suggestion of Buspar nearly killed me. I haven’t been the same since I took that one last month. 

 

Does everyone agree I should stick with the 3 beads. For how long. Keep the trazadone steady at 50 mg.  I think I felt the effect of the effexor today. 

 

I go to bed almost okay with the trazadone, but I wake up at 5:00 a.m. very anxious, and upset. I can barely tolerate it. It’s been horrible. 

 

Is there any way I could talk to someone on the telephone? I live in Columbus, Ohio. 

[nz11]

2 hours ago, Downbutnotout said:

I got freaked out again,

What does this mean?

You had an adverse reaction?

 

Thanks for clarifying the drug sig ...good job.

 

Just as a curiosity I see you were stable in the past on 75 mg Effexor then in june17  you added traz. and upped the Effexor to 113 mg then to 150mg what was that all about ?

Why did you do that?

Did you have a failed taper attempt? Sorry if you already explained this in prior posts.

 

So so sorry the doctor has done this to you.

I hope your current course of action finds some relief.

[Downbutnotout]

8 minutes ago, nz11 said:

What does this mean?

You had an adverse reaction?

 

Thanks for clarifying the drug sig ...good job.

 

Just as a curiosity I see you were stable in the past on 75 mg Effexor then in june17  you added traz. and upped the Effexor to 113 mg then to 150mg what was that all about ?

Why did you do that?

Did you have a failed taper attempt? Sorry if you already explained this in prior posts.

 

So so sorry the doctor has done this to you.

I hope your current course of action finds some relief.

I told y psychiatrist to do that, and she did. I was trying to speed up my relief from depression. I though it had worked in the past. I was having obsessive thoughts about the incident where I got fired from a volunteer job. I thought increasing effexor had helped me before when I was having the same problem. 

 

the 150 mg caused the initial nuttiness. I went crazy on it. 

 

I felt a little better when I added the 3 beads. I feel like I’m out here without a net. My mornings are a living nightmare. No my doctor doesn’t believe in getting sensitized to drugs. She thinks once it’s out, it’s out. 

 

I don’t even know what I meant by that. I had a horrible reaction this morning. It was super bad. That’s before I added the 3 beads. I  was dizzy, anxious, and lightheaded, and screaming. I don’t think I like the trazadone. It is not a good thing. But I wouldn’t dare change it now. 

[Downbutnotout]

This is my second day of 3 EFFEXOR  BEADS and I am really depressed. I thought I was having a better response out of the trazadone when I discontinued it. I know I have to give it more than 2 days right? What if there is an antidepressant out there that would help me?

 

75 mg of effexor was no longer working on my depression . That’s why I was taken off. I am pretty frustrated and desperate about this depression. It’s really bad. Would I be smarter to go back to a psychiatrist and try another ANTIDEPRESSANT with the hope that just maybe it would elicit a response? 

 

I feel like I’m not getting a response from my page because nobody wants to address the fact that I am really depressed. It seems like the other people on here are not as bad as I am. A lot of people are really encouraged. I guess this is more for people who have really decided that antidepressants don’t have any value at all. I am still not sure that they can’t help me although the failure rate is really high for me. On the other hand I never gave any of them 4 weeks to work. Because the side effects made me manic. 

 

IT DOESN’T HELP THAT I AM NOT WORKING AND HAVE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO. Before I was doing volunteer work, and now can’t even do that. I was working out every day and now I can’t even do that. I am unable to watch tv, eat, or doing anything. I can’t even go to sleep. Ive never ever been this bad before. This is my lowest point ever. Is this WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS or just plain DEPRESSION? 

 

I am craving ativan because it made me happy for 5 minutes at a time. It gave me relief. But it also made me even more depressed. 

 

It I wasn’t so suspicious of the awful medicine they would give me, the logical place for me is inside a mental health facility. 

 

In this site the wrong place for me? 

 

I just don’t know what to do anymore. On one hand, I think I’m a FOOL for not trying some more of these drugs on the chance they might work. On the other hand, I know they will give me horrible side effects, put me through Agony and just make things even worse. 

 

Has anyone on this site had ELECTRIC SHOCK TREATMENT  that worked? IF YOU THINK IT WAS BAD, PLEASE TELL ME ABOUT IT SO I DON’T GIVE INTO IT. I am that desperate that I’m ready to try it. 

[Kristine]

Hi Downbutnotout, I've been reading your posts and I just want you to know that I have been where you are now.  Many times.  It is the most hopeless and debilitating feeling.  Add on social isolation and an inability to do anything functional that resembles your past life, just adds to the despair.  I have to go to an appointment now.  However, I want to give what you have said some thought and respond later.  I have had ECT twice. I do not recommend it. I will address that later when I write back. I just want you to know that I care and I hear your distress. I will write back, just please be patient 😊 Thinking of you. K 

[Downbutnotout]

Thank you Christine. People are so kind and generous on this site. If I was fully feeling , I would feel it deeper. 

 

If if I could ever get better, I would do the same. I used to be a very passionate person. 

 

I did go off this stuff a couple of years ago, too quickly, and felt what I was missing. 

 

 I just listened to mad in America podcast about ect, so I guess I’ll stay away from it. 

 

I just don’t know what I’m going to do. Wait it out? Try another drug?

 

its probably been the placebo effect all along. I wish I could get back to blind belief. 

 

Im so freaking  depressed. 

[Downbutnotout]

So you only updose if you’re side effects are from getting the medication out of your system? So how do I know my effects are from the medication bring out of my system or just bring depressed? I added 3 mg of Effexor back in but how do I know that’s really the problem? My effects are anxiety, horrible depression. But how do I know it’s from the effexir 6 weeks ago, the upping of trazadone or the short reinstatement if prozac which has made me insane?How will I know the reinstatement of Effexor beads is doing anything? 

[Downbutnotout]

Is being obsessed part of withdrawal symptoms. I’m obsessed with this site? Reading about the drugs. 

[Kristine]

Hi DBNO,  I'm back!  Firstly, I have reread your posts.  You are suffering terribly and as I have said before the frequent chopping and changing of your medications is in my opinion a big issue.  No one on this site can make these decisions for you.  Everyone on this site is at a different stage in their journey.  There is a common theme in your posts (please correct me if I'm wrong)...

• you feel highly anxious, manic, irritable and depressed 24/7....suicidal at times.
• with little to no symptom relief and little sleep you are feeling desperate and will consider any treatment eg ECT
• you are frightened (this can exhibit itself as anger)
• the health professionals you have encountered have caused you harm and this has resulted in a lack of trust and a reluctance to seek another opinion 
• You find it difficult to concentrate and make decisions

From what I have read you have been on various psychotropic medications for 16 years.  The first drug I was prescribed 10 years ago was Effexor.  I was taken off effexor and put on another antidepressant and I remember the horrendous withdrawal symptoms.  I was consumed with a debilitating fear, I ate very little, cried frequently and rarely left my bed.  I do remember feeling so consumed with turmoil that I wanted to climb into my closet, with a blanket wrapped around me and hide.  I would clutch my head and scream.  I didn't know it at the time, but I was in the middle of a massive withdrawal wave.  I thought I was going crazy.

 

7 hours ago, Downbutnotout said:

I feel like I’m not getting a response from my page because nobody wants to address the fact that I am really depressed. It seems like the other people on here are not as bad as I am. A lot of people are really encouraged. I guess this is more for people who have really decided that antidepressants don’t have any value at all. I am still not sure that they can’t help me although the failure rate is really high for me. On the other hand I never gave any of them 4 weeks to work. Because the side effects made me manic. 

 

Multiple people have offered advise but I think you are so distressed that you may be finding it difficult to sift through this information and  therefore, make an informed rational decision regarding the next step forward.  I know when I am distressed, my cognitive function plummets.  Over the past two years when I am distressed and suffering w/d it is a double whammy, because w/d also effects cognitive function.  

 

When I first commenced my own research into withdrawal, I stumbled across a invaluable resource.  It is called the "harm reduction guide to coming off psychiatric drugs" by Will Hall.  You can download it from here http://willhall.net/comingoffmeds/

It is free and you can print out your own copy.  I have dug out a quote from this guide which you may find helpful.....

 

"You may find that the goal of going off [medication] completely is not right for you at this time.  You may feel better staying on your medication, and decided instead to just reduce or continue at the same dosage, and focus on new ways to improve your life.  Follow your own needs without judgement or blame: get support for your decisions in the face of any feelings of shame or powerlessness"

 

In my opinion I would seek the assistance of another health professional.  Perhaps reinstating the Effexor 75mg which you said helped for a number of years (please get professional advice about this) I believe you need to stabilise before you start any more reductions in your medication. Your CNS is in overdrive and you need some peace, sleep and rejuvenation. I can only offer some humble advice BBNO, I wish I could help you more. 

 

You really are not alone in this messy journey. It's confusing, terrifying and just cruel. However, I really believe you can get through this.  I've come a long way but I've got a loooooong way to go. I'm talking years not months. 

 

I hope this has been some sort of small help and comfort to you. K

[nz11]

Kristine you are saying some good stuff.

 

I'm loathe to make any suggestion cos whatever it is, it will be wrong.

However here are some thoughts.

The conundrum here is that trazodone and Effexor taken together  have a 'major' drug interaction and run the risk of causing s.s.

imo it is far better to be on just one drug rather than  2 and not these two together.

Still I guess there was 6 months of these two drugs being together already so whether things might change the next time around I'm not sure.

You were taken off Effexor in 2014 played drug merry-go -round and then went back on Effexor and stabilized. As Kristine says you may be able to stabilize again on it ... or you may not.

Some people cant stabilize on a low dose and have to go to a higher dose to stabilize. You might be one of those people. However this site takes a harm reduction approach in suggesting a low dose ri to be tried first. You can always go slowly up in dose.

 

DBNO you are not 'D' You are suffering dreadful withdrawal symptoms. I loathe that 'D' word. 

In my opinion there is a reluctance to  respond not because you have 'D' but maybe  mods may be on holiday but also this is not an exact science you are a guinea pig in a chemical experiment and any suggestion has the potential to make things very very worse. Its a crap shoot as they say. 

All bets are off in getting you out of this. You are in an unknown frontier, a disgusting position at no fault of your own thanks to the medical profession.

 

I try to be open to new ideas and fluid in my thinking and recently am thinking along the lines (maybe Kristine is right) that the medical profession have got some people into such a disgusting situation, they should be the ones to get them out of it. Rather than leave it to others to do their dirty work and try to help people pick up the pieces which could turn to cognitive WWIII  at any stage or a trip to the hospital. 

The problem with this is the outcome is often an escalating drug cocktail. Several cases suddenly come to mind ....

 

I think the ideal situation is that of 2014 -2016 stable on Effexor alone. Then taper safely as per this site.

Maybe the doctor has some bridging off trazodone and back to Effexor ideas. (or maybe not).

 

It looks like from your drug sig you have been on celexa and remeron for x?  years in the past! Yet another 'major ' drug interaction that could cause s.s....!! 

Maybe you are a person who is immune to s.s. ?? Clearly your doctor thinks so. 

 

Just out of interest in what year were you first put on Effexor ..your drug sig is silent on this. 2006? 2010? 

Was the transition from celexa and remeron to Effexor problematic? or seamless?Was the dose in the past years always the same ?

 

These are just some thoughts.

All the best with your decisions.

I am so sorry you are in this difficult situation.

Wishing you stability.

 

nz11

 

 

 

[peng]

DBNO

You are writing a lot of very coherent text - hang in there.  Anxiety & depression are awful, so many of us have been there.

I am reducing effexor after being on it since c2002.  It seems to be a beast to come off.

I am not an expert, but have lived a lot of the stuff for 40 years.  My experience of ativan decades ago (before ADs) was that it was very addictive and made depression worse after the initial all too brief calming spell it gave.  I am sure many of us would agree that taking it will be, overall, unwise.

 

Love & Best wishes. 

[bhasski]

11 hours ago, Downbutnotout said:

Is being obsessed part of withdrawal symptoms. I’m obsessed with this site? Reading about the drugs. 

 

Yes, for myself, the obsession was there to connect myself and find relief for the time say 18 months...  As there is noone I can relate to and nothing else I can do due to the severity.

 

I feel the obsession has gotten down to some extent... But still there.

[Downbutnotout]

Effexor was my main drug for many years. I was only on remeron and celexa as a trial. I would say I was on effexor for at least 20 years. I did bring up the drug interaction between trazadone and Effexor to the “ doctor” and she downplayed it. 

 

One if my main problems right now is I’m still upset about the incident where I got fired from my volunteer job. It was as an usher from all the theaters in columbus, Ohio, and the head person screamed at me. This is still coming up a lot in my head. I did go to a psychologist to try to work on it but no avail. I know it’s irrational but I can’t help it. The drugs seemed to block that out so now it’s coming up. 

 

I did get get a good nights sleep and didn’t wake up with anxiety. I am obsessing about how the psychustrist me all the drugs: lithium, lamactil, buspar, snd thought ect was a great idea.

 

the problem with getting a second opinion is I’m sure they will all follow the same path she took. Put me on antidepressants, figure out they make me hyper, diagnose me with bipolar disorder, give me mood stabilizers, and then suggest ect. 

 

Maybe they have better doctors where you are all from. 

[Downbutnotout]

On 12/20/2017 at 7:23 AM, peng said:

DBNO

You are writing a lot of very coherent text - hang in there.  Anxiety & depression are awful, so many of us have been there.

I am reducing effexor after being on it since c2002.  It seems to be a beast to come off.

I am not an expert, but have lived a lot of the stuff for 40 years.  My experience of ativan decades ago (before ADs) was that it was very addictive and made depression worse after the initial all too brief calming spell it gave.  I am sure many of us would agree that taking it will be, overall, unwise.

 

Love & Best wishes. 

Thank you so much! Yes, I know the ativan is a terrible idea, but I sure would like some! I have to look you up to see where you’re at in your journey. 

 

On 12/20/2017 at 8:11 AM, bhasski said:

 

Yes, for myself, the obsession was there to connect myself and find relief for the time say 18 months...  As there is noone I can relate to and nothing else I can do due to the severity.

 

I feel the obsession has gotten down to some extent... But still there.

Well at least I know I’m not alone with this. Thank you for answering. 

 

On 12/20/2017 at 1:09 AM, Kristine said:

Hi DBNO,  I'm back!  Firstly, I have reread your posts.  You are suffering terribly and as I have said before the frequent chopping and changing of your medications is in my opinion a big issue.

...

When I first commenced my own research into withdrawal, I stumbled across a invaluable resource.  It is called the "harm reduction guide to coming off psychiatric drugs" by Will Hall.  You can download it from here http://willhall.net/comingoffmeds/

It is free and you can print out your own copy.  I have dug out a quote from this guide which you may find helpful.....

Quote

"You may find that the goal of going off [medication] completely is not right for you at this time.  You may feel better staying on your medication, and decided instead to just reduce or continue at the same dosage, and focus on new ways to improve your life.  Follow your own needs without judgement or blame: get support for your decisions in the face of any feelings of shame or powerlessness"

...

I hope this has been some sort of small help and comfort to you. K

It has been . Thank you. I will download the guide. 

Edited January 4, 2018 by scallywag
trimmed quote to relevant portion

[Downbutnotout]

9 hours ago, peng said:

DBNO

You are writing a lot of very coherent text - hang in there.  Anxiety & depression are awful, so many of us have been there.

I am reducing effexor after being on it since c2002.  It seems to be a beast to come off.

I am not an expert, but have lived a lot of the stuff for 40 years.  My experience of ativan decades ago (before ADs) was that it was very addictive and made depression worse after the initial all too brief calming spell it gave.  I am sure many of us would agree that taking it will be, overall, unwise.

 

Love & Best wishes. 

I already took it for a couple of weeks. However, I managed to put it aside. After I took it, I got really manic. Everything is making me manic. 

 

Right now I’m down to 50 mg of trazadone and 3 beads if effexor. I did sleep better last night but I’m obsessing all day. I don’t know whether I should’ve tried more Effexor beads than 3 . I thought 6 made me hyper when I tried. 

 

Since im doing this on my Iwn with new beginnings help, I feel like I’m doing it wrong. Why couldn’t there be a doctor in Columbus Ohio who understands this? I would feel much better if I was under a doctors care. 

 

 

 

 

[Downbutnotout]

My psychologists ingirmed me I should be on drugs. She’d find it better if I had a health otofrssionsk involved.

[Downbutnotout]

On 12/17/2017 at 12:06 PM, AliG said:

Did you try 1 or 2 beads of Effexor?  What dose of Trazadone have you been taking?  If you don't answer the questions ~ it is difficult to help you. Please try and keep calm. How are you doing , today?

I have been doing 3 beads if Effexor for 3 days. Should I up this at all? How do I know it’s enough? It doesn’t feel like enough! I did sleep better last night but have had a hard time all day. I keep remembering how I used to be. It wasn’t like this. My head feels light and funny. It feels uncomfortable. When should I up it? New beginnings says to wait a month. 

[Downbutnotout]

What happened with the ect? 

[Downbutnotout]

Did I start too low with 3 beads? This is day 3. I feel very light headed and depressed. How can 3 beads be doing anything? I did sleep better last night, and didn’t wake up with anxiety. But all day I’ve been worrying and worrying about the irresponsibility of what I’m doing.  

 

 I keep thinking if I upped it I’d feel better. I thought 5 had made me hyper. I am still taking 50 mg of trazadone, and trying to be consistent.  

 

This is horrible. Is my torment going to ever end? Should I be exercising? 

[Kristine]

2 hours ago, Downbutnotout said:

What happened with the ect?

Hi DBNO,  Sorry I didn't mention this as I said I would.  I find it very difficult to talk about.  Again this is only my experience and some people swear by it...so I don't know.  The first time was 2012, I swore I would never have it again due to memory loss, migraines and every time I woke from the anethetic I was profoundly distressed.  My mood picked up a little but it was only a temporary effect.  The second time, I was in a desperately ill state (was also in w/d but didn't know it)...the psychiatrist wanted me to have ECT (I was in hospital) I said 'no' ...he began a long monologue about the new 'ultra-brief' method of ECT and this would have minimal effect on my memory.  I was vulnerable and when I look back now I can see how he coerced me into this treatment.  I had the ultra brief ect and my memory was once again damaged, I had migraines again and woke distressed.  It did not help my depression.  I should also mention that each course of Ect was 15 treatments. So I've been shocked 30 times in total.  Makes me feel sick writing it down 😢  

Thinking of you. K 

[Marmot]

On 19/12/2017 at 4:29 PM, Downbutnotout said:

 

I feel like I’m not getting a response from my page because nobody wants to address the fact that I am really depressed. It seems like the other people on here are not as bad as I am. A lot of people are really encouraged.

 

Hey DBNO,

 

I think that we're all experiencing different symptoms and stages from different types of WD. You might be right that you are suffering more intensely than some of us right now, but then again, everyone expresses their suffering differently. I didn't respond to your post until now because I don't login very often. I also don't always respond because I don't have medication advice to give; all I have are personal experiences to share. It's possible too that a lot of people are hesitant to answer complicated questions because there might not actually be any "right" answer yet.

 

I do believe that venlafaxine withdrawal can be really dramatic and not related to D. When I stopped desvenlafaxine CT several years ago, I remember feeling acutely, indescribably desperate and anxious. I'm usually level-headed, but I became unstable and was a different person. I remember at one point walking down a street to try to calm down, but then I became afraid of being out in the open, so I went through a hedge and hid behind a random shed. I was then too scared to leave, so I called a suicide hotline, had a very confusing conversation with the nice volunteer, got frustrated, and hung up. I ultimately reinstated the pristiq and did a more moderate taper. I had felt regular anxiety and depression many times before that, but that withdrawal was a different beast.

 

I'm sharing this with you so that you can maybe feel less alone. It looks like you have been on the effexor for over a decade, so I can only imagine that you would be suffering a lot coming off of it. Regarding your question about exercise - do it if it makes you feel better. Perhaps try a type of exercise that you find easy, and be careful not to beat yourself up if you find that you can't manage it or if it just stresses you out more. Another thing you could try is asking yourself sincerely "what makes sense to me?" then try trusting your own reasoning on it. Just an idea.

 

Take care,

Marmot

[AliG]

Hi D. I hope you don't mind if I try to address some of your concerns in no particular order. It is more of a : general building of worry as to how you are doing overall and wanting to help you through this, as I know how very hard it can be at times.

 

I've noticed that you tend to panic and ask questions all over the place , when in fact ~ a lot of the time , they have already been answered here on your thread.This is understandably, often a W/D symptom so is very much , understood and accepted. Definitely ~ no judgement. 

 

On 12/20/2017 at 4:09 PM, Kristine said:

On 12/20/2017 at 7:29 AM, Downbutnotout said:

I feel like I’m not getting a response from my page because nobody wants to address the fact that I am really depressed. It seems like the other people on here are not as bad as I am. A lot of people are really encouraged. I guess this is more for people who have really decided that antidepressants don’t have any value at all. I am still not sure that they can’t help me although the failure rate is really high for me. On the other hand I never gave any of them 4 weeks to work. Because the side effects made me manic. 

 

Multiple people have offered advise but I think you are so distressed that you may be finding it difficult to sift through this information and  therefore, make an informed rational decision regarding the next step forward

 

I agree and you may want to read back through your thread to gain extra clarity ~ I understand you are in the middle of cyclonic/ wave - like conditions ~ not knowing your way out ; it's understandable and a place that most of us have unfortunately found ourselves, at various times throughout this experience, but if you can be a little more succinct and clear, it will perhaps go better and then we can perhaps start to slowly resolve this situation.

 

You ask if 3 beads is enough ~  the reasoning for starting so low in reinstating was, that you were very much sensitized and had already had such a bad reaction to 5 beads. There has also been a length of time. From memory, you went off your head and tried to throw yourself or your husband down the steps ! 

 

Therefore ~ it is often best to start low and work your way up , rather than the opposite , if you can handle any reinstatement at all, which was already highly questionable ~ hence the need for starting extremely low. It was suggested to start at 1 bead. These drugs are extremely strong and even 1 - 2 beads can make a big difference. The idea was to start low and work ( titrate) your way slowly up, if necessary. It's best to find the lowest effective dose. This is usually quite low, which often goes against the doctors's view of a "therapeutic dose". 

 

I have been trying to support you and it's a little bit difficult to hear that you have been totally on your own ~  it would be helpful to know what others are discussing with you via Pm . We always encourage very open discussion on individual threads, as it is easier to ascertain and understand perspectives and enables all, to offer their own particular point of view. It's a much more balanced discussion and can potentially help others, versus ~ a closed discussion which can often be unhelpful.

 

As to ECT. ~ it seems that some members have struggled somewhat, after this treatment. I wouldn't advise it ~ it can have repercussions. If you are serious about this ~ I can come back with some discussion. Mamma P has had some negative experience with this.  

 

My advice would be to read around and listen to other member's stories and situations ~ there is a lot of knowledge and information on this site if you are ready to hear and process it. Sometimes it can take some time and that is understandable. In a heightened state ~ it can sometimes be hard to process.

 

Please read some success stories and keep reading them ... also look up Robert Whittaker : You Tube ; " Psych Drugs Harm : Part 1/ 2 ".  Also Dr Peter Breggin. He has a 7 part series.

 

~ Symptoms and Self - Care. As we start to come off the drugs, we need to replace the negative emotions with the more positive actions ~ taking control and giving up the victim status. It's ok ~ we have all done it at one stage or another.It seems to be a part of it.

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms. Perhaps you could start to read around some of the links on this site and get an idea of how to take some of that control back .Once you start to feel that, then I'm hoping you may start to feel a little better. 

 

 

I would hold for now , and not change anything. You are after stability ... not a new drug.

 

Edited December 21, 2017 by AliG
added link

[Downbutnotout]

9 hours ago, Kristine said:

Hi DBNO,  Sorry I didn't mention this as I said I would.  I find it very difficult to talk about.  Again this is only my experience and some people swear by it...so I don't know.  The first time was 2012, I swore I would never have it again due to memory loss, migraines and every time I woke from the anethetic I was profoundly distressed.  My mood picked up a little but it was only a temporary effect.  The second time, I was in a desperately ill state (was also in w/d but didn't know it)...the psychiatrist wanted me to have ECT (I was in hospital) I said 'no' ...he began a long monologue about the new 'ultra-brief' method of ECT and this would have minimal effect on my memory.  I was vulnerable and when I look back now I can see how he coerced me into this treatment.  I had the ultra brief ect and my memory was once again damaged, I had migraines again and woke distressed.  It did not help my depression.  I should also mention that each course of Ect was 15 treatments. So I've been shocked 30 times in total.  Makes me feel sick writing it down 😢  

Thinking of you. K 

 

[Downbutnotout]

That convinced me not to ever have it. 

[AliG]

It's probably best to keep notes on your symptoms for a while. We can then start to see how your reinstatement is working for you.  ~ You are asking for help however, you don't seem to be following any of the advice given. Members are helping, but it is in private message which can confuse matters.

 

 

Edited December 22, 2017 by AliG
spelling

[Downbutnotout]

You’re upset because I’m pm new beginnings? This is a no no. 

[AliG]

Not at all  ~  It's just that it is better to keep everything on your thread ( doses and drugs) .That way everyone can see just what is happening ~ if there is behind the scenes activity ~ it can become somewhat confusing. Is there something that can't be said ~ here ? 

[Downbutnotout]

I’d live to be able to meditate but I can’t . I’m really so depressed. I can’t do anything right now. Especially after I was up for 4 hours feeling I was going to disintegrate.,I guess it’s a good sign that I calmed down after I took the 3 beads if effexir but now I’m super depressed. 

[Downbutnotout]

Thank you again aig. I appreciate it. I’m just feeling very hopeless right now. I think maybe I’m too depressed for this website. I will hold the drug for now. I have no other choice. I feel backed into my own corner. We’ve been taking beads out of the 37.5 capsule. That’s all I’ve been doing. I keep thinking there may be a drug like lexapro that could possibly help me quicker. I don’t know how I can do this for years., am I being ridiculous. 

[AliG]

D. Do you really think I haven't been through the same as you?   Of course I have ~  we have all been there and  I totally understand.

 

When i came upon this site , I was still looking for the perfect antidepressant ~ there is no drug that can give  you that. You have to do your own research.

 

[Downbutnotout]

You’re drug free ?

[Downbutnotout]

I got super depressed today. I am so frustrated. I’m not sure I should keep up with the effexor beads. Effexor was super depressing me before. It took the anxiety away immediately. I had a horrendous episode between 2:45 a.m. and 8:00 a.m.  My husband had to give me ice, rub my head, and I was a total wreck. I wanted to jump out of my self. I don’t know what I ever did to deserve this torment. Not only am I ruining my life, I’m ruining his too. He won’t be able to keep this up. How can he? 

 

I’m afraid it’s going to be a repeat performance tonight. How can I keep living like this? That’s why the “doctor” wanted to take me off effexor. It had reached the saturation point. Am I harming myself by introducting these effexor beads again? Is it keeping my brain from producing its own seratonin. Am i confusing my brain? 

 

We managed to take a walk today. 

 

All I want to do is lay in bed and go to sleep. This used to be a coping mechanism, and i can’t even do this. I can’t eat. 

 

Now I feel like I can’t go to the hospital because they will hype me up with drugs. I can’t do ect because it’s too dangerous and probably won’t help at all. I am really feeling hopeless. 

 

[Downbutnotout]

8 hours ago, Downbutnotout said:

 

That sounds horrendous and I’m sorry you relived it for me. I’m sure the same thing would happen to me. Positive. My memory is already stinky. I have a colloid cyst on my brain. The neurologist told me to try every option before I considered doing this because it would mess up my memory. 

[Downbutnotout]

 

After reading through this site, I realize that I am not going to be able to take ssri’s . I think the psychiatrist realizes that. That’s why she suggested I use seroquel. I just have all the anxiety, aggression, and adverse effects from ssri’s. So, what are my options now? Just get over it. Take a zillion years to do it. I hope nobody minds that I’m compulsively writing on my wall. I used to write to the psychiatrist hoping she’d be able to pull something out that will help me. I now realize that’s no longer an option.  My psychologist told me today how I need a doctor supervising me. I shouldn’t be talking to people on the internet who cannot see me or keep track of me. 

[Downbutnotout]

18 hours ago, Marmot said:

 

Hey DBNO,

 

I think that we're all experiencing different symptoms and stages from different types of WD. You might be right that you are suffering more intensely than some of us right now, but then again, everyone expresses their suffering differently. I didn't respond to your post until now because I don't login very often. I also don't always respond because I don't have medication advice to give; all I have are personal experiences to share. It's possible too that a lot of people are hesitant to answer complicated questions because there might not actually be any "right" answer yet.

 

I do believe that venlafaxine withdrawal can be really dramatic and not related to D. When I stopped desvenlafaxine CT several years ago, I remember feeling acutely, indescribably desperate and anxious. I'm usually level-headed, but I became unstable and was a different person. I remember at one point walking down a street to try to calm down, but then I became afraid of being out in the open, so I went through a hedge and hid behind a random shed. I was then too scared to leave, so I called a suicide hotline, had a very confusing conversation with the nice volunteer, got frustrated, and hung up. I ultimately reinstated the pristiq and did a more moderate taper. I had felt regular anxiety and depression many times before that, but that withdrawal was a different beast.

 

I'm sharing this with you so that you can maybe feel less alone. It looks like you have been on the effexor for over a decade, so I can only imagine that you would be suffering a lot coming off of it. Regarding your question about exercise - do it if it makes you feel better. Perhaps try a type of exercise that you find easy, and be careful not to beat yourself up if you find that you can't manage it or if it just stresses you out more. Another thing you could try is asking yourself sincerely "what makes sense to me?" then try trusting your own reasoning on it. Just an idea.

 

Take care,

Marmot

Thank you so much. Your story is very interesting. Yes, it makes me feel a little less alone, but this has been a horrible day. Last night was plain scary and I’m afraid of going through it again today. I am so tired to feeling hysterical and anxious. It’s been 6 months of experiencing this over and over.  Yes, thanks for the idea.