Downbutnotout Posted December 30, 2017 Author Share Posted December 30, 2017 A little window for a couple of hours. Maybe I’ll feel some emotions one of these days. 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment
Downbutnotout Posted December 30, 2017 Author Share Posted December 30, 2017 I really tried today. I didn’t stay in bed all day. I went swimming, I went to a movie, (and tried to concentrate, but it was difficult.), I came home. I am trying to find all the support I can find on this site. Please if you have a good story to share, please don’t hesitate to share it with me. I did look at the success stories. I am on day 3 of 5 mg of effexor beads. This is not much I know. I’m trying to follow a plan. 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus manymoretodays Posted December 31, 2017 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 31, 2017 Hope. I saw your post on Kristine's thread. How do I/you stay hopeful? Go read JanCarols most recent post in Success stories. Time. Patience. Willingness to listen sometimes. To just listen. To find the space between the breath. Hug a tree. Hug somebody else. I actually write down gratitude lists almost daily. And you know what......it works for me. Here's one, a story, it goes something like this......"My leg ached so badly today, I could not stand it.......it was so very awful. I had to go and do errands and make dinner and, and, and...... Then I met a man with one leg." Best, mmt Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks. Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988. In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm. Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time). 5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014) 12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs. My last psycho med ever! Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to 2016 Dec 16, medication free!! Longer signature post here, with current supplements. Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016. And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed. Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022. Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜 None of my posts are intended as medical advice. Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. My success story: Blue skies ahead, clear sailing Link to comment
Downbutnotout Posted December 31, 2017 Author Share Posted December 31, 2017 28 minutes ago, manymoretodays said: Hope. I saw your post on Kristine's thread. How do I/you stay hopeful? Go read JanCarols most recent post in Success stories. Time. Patience. Willingness to listen sometimes. To just listen. To find the space between the breath. Hug a tree. Hug somebody else. I actually write down gratitude lists almost daily. And you know what......it works for me. Here's one, a story, it goes something like this......"My leg ached so badly today, I could not stand it.......it was so very awful. I had to go and do errands and make dinner and, and, and...... Then I met a man with one leg." Best, mmt Thank you. Today has been really bad for me. The good thing is it’s almost over. Maybe I’ll be able to sleep. Maybe tomorrow will be better. 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment
Downbutnotout Posted December 31, 2017 Author Share Posted December 31, 2017 17 hours ago, manymoretodays said: Hope. I saw your post on Kristine's thread. How do I/you stay hopeful? Go read JanCarols most recent post in Success stories. Time. Patience. Willingness to listen sometimes. To just listen. To find the space between the breath. Hug a tree. Hug somebody else. I actually write down gratitude lists almost daily. And you know what......it works for me. Here's one, a story, it goes something like this......"My leg ached so badly today, I could not stand it.......it was so very awful. I had to go and do errands and make dinner and, and, and...... Then I met a man with one leg." Best, mmt Thank you. 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment
Downbutnotout Posted December 31, 2017 Author Share Posted December 31, 2017 I am having a really hard time today. I am in real mental pain. I don’t know how long I can tolerate this. Yesterday, all the stuff the meds were covering up came out all at once. I could barely stop all the repressed thoughts. Then today I took the 5 beads, and tha stopped, but my mood is very low. Is this withdrawal or something else? Can I get some support. I really need it right now. 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment
AliG Posted December 31, 2017 Share Posted December 31, 2017 Hi D. I'm sorry that you're suffering but we have all been there and understand. It takes some patience. It sounds like the 5 beads helped - is that correct? Can you tell us more ? Did the thoughts stop, just a little? What time do you take them? Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
Downbutnotout Posted December 31, 2017 Author Share Posted December 31, 2017 2 hours ago, AliG said: Hi D. I'm sorry that you're suffering but we have all been there and understand. It takes some patience. It sounds like the 5 beads helped - is that correct? Can you tell us more ? Did the thoughts stop, just a little? What time do you take them? I took the beads at 9:00 a.m. The thoughts were going full strength last night. They scared me. It was about the volunteer job, and other jobs I had. It was really swirling. Then I fell asleep, woke up with them, my husband soothed me. Then I got a horrible depression, felt desperate and the whole aggressive thing I get. Now, about an hour ago, I felt a little more normal. The thoughts did stop. I’m afraid they’re going to start up again. How do I know this is a withdrawal symptom? Yesterday, I went swimming, forced myself to lunch, and a movie. All under my husband’s direction. Then, when I got home, I got increasingly hyper. Then the thoughts happened after I took the trazadone, and tried to go to sleep. I woke up with them blazing. Could the beads be causing bad symptoms? How do I know? It’s the 4th day. It’ s been really odd the way I’ve acted on all this stuff. It happened when I took buspar. Thank you for answering me. Happy New Year! Sounds like you’ve been successful at all this. Share some of your secrets with me. Did you ever act in a way that made you feel guilty? 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted December 31, 2017 Share Posted December 31, 2017 Just sending support. It is wd and not something else. I posted today about all the thoughts overwhelming me. There’s nothing like it! You will be ok. I think I read you’d said on another thread that you feel different here because you’re not tapering. I’m not either. I’m holding after a complete drug maelstrom this summer. No idea when I’ll be able to taper, just getting by a bit at a time. So don’t feel isolated because of that. Be kind to yourself. Put your hand on your heart and talk to yourself with love. It might make you cry, I was doing it earlier, but it’s really important to be compassionate with ourselves. This is brutal stuff. Offering kindness and suppprt and understanding, Nikki X 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
Downbutnotout Posted December 31, 2017 Author Share Posted December 31, 2017 17 minutes ago, Nikki74 said: Just sending support. It is wd and not something else. I posted today about all the thoughts overwhelming me. There’s nothing like it! You will be ok. I think I read you’d said on another thread that you feel different here because you’re not tapering. I’m not either. I’m holding after a complete drug maelstrom this summer. No idea when I’ll be able to taper, just getting by a bit at a time. So don’t feel isolated because of that. Be kind to yourself. Put your hand on your heart and talk to yourself with love. It might make you cry, I was doing it earlier, but it’s really important to be compassionate with ourselves. This is brutal stuff. Offering kindness and suppprt and understanding, Nikki X Oh, thanks for the advice. Oh you’re not either. I got to say you have a much better attitude than me. I’ve lost almost all my friends, my kids, and my husband has been hanging in for some reason. I’ve acted like a fool. You have offered kindness, support, and understanding. My biggest challenge is staying away from more drugs and psychiatrists. Although I know intellectually, they caused me a lot of problems. I was on effexor for over 20 years, and I really thought it worked. I know it was just the placebo effect, but the drug addict in me keeps saying, “try it”. Everything I’ve tried has made me hyper and manic, so I know that is not really a possibility. Knowing I have no real options is upsetting. I almost allowed them to do ect on me. I am so frustrated that i allowed this to happen to me. I’ll try that heart stuff. I won’t be able to cry though. I can just feel anger, and misery. Thank you again, so much, and I hope your migraine went away. 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted December 31, 2017 Administrator Share Posted December 31, 2017 You need to get serious about Cognitive Behavior Therapy. You are continually working yourself up to "symptoms." We are all our own worst enemies. If you continually sabotage yourself, we can't help you here. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Downbutnotout Posted December 31, 2017 Author Share Posted December 31, 2017 33 minutes ago, Altostrata said: You need to get serious about Cognitive Behavior Therapy. You are continually working yourself up to "symptoms." We are all our own worst enemies. If you continually sabotage yourself, we can't help you here. You make a lot of sense, and I will try my best. Thank you for your continued support. It means a lot. 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted January 1, 2018 Share Posted January 1, 2018 Hey D youll find yourself. Your family will forgive you. It has to be gut wrenching for them to see you like this, but they know this isn’t the real you. It’s the drugs and withdrawal. And it’s hell. We’re all going through something similar. I often wonder how I can get through this without a new drug. The anxiety and depression is all consuming. But I never felt like this before lexapro. I know the damage that it has done to me. You need to give your body and brain a rest from these poisons. You keep adding and taking away and it’s disastrous every time. It’ll be the hardest thing you’ll ever do but it will also be one of the most rewarding. You should read the success stories on this forum. They have given me hope and terrified me at the same time. But they are SUCCESS stories. That’s whats in the future for you and me. We will be our old selves again. We will gain insight to our own health. The psychiatrist that you hate will not help you. She will only make you sicker. You should take Alto’s advice and see somebody for CBT. You really need to talk to someone who understands withdrawal. Someone that is not a pill pusher. At this point, I don’t think there’s a drug on this planet that is going to help you. They will only make things worse and prolong you’re withdrawal and subsequent recovery. Talk to somebody. Join a yoga group. When I’m able to go, I find it so relaxing. Does wonders for the body and soul. You are going to have tough days ahead. But you’re healing will not begin until you stop adding and taking away drugs. This is truly a terrifying process. I cry, a lot. But I hold on to the hope that someday soon I will be the old me again. And I will have an appreciation for life like never before. You can do this D. Listen to the moderators. They’ve walked the walk. Your psychiatrist hasn’t. You need to slow down, take a deep breath and heed the advice that is given here. There’s a gold mine of information on this forum. And it’s free!! Priceless. Take care D. I’m rooting for you. Lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Downbutnotout Posted January 1, 2018 Author Share Posted January 1, 2018 46 minutes ago, Littlegrandma said: Hey D youll find yourself. Your family will forgive you. It has to be gut wrenching for them to see you like this, but they know this isn’t the real you. It’s the drugs and withdrawal. And it’s hell. We’re all going through something similar. I often wonder how I can get through this without a new drug. The anxiety and depression is all consuming. But I never felt like this before lexapro. I know the damage that it has done to me. You need to give your body and brain a rest from these poisons. You keep adding and taking away and it’s disastrous every time. It’ll be the hardest thing you’ll ever do but it will also be one of the most rewarding. You should read the success stories on this forum. They have given me hope and terrified me at the same time. But they are SUCCESS stories. That’s whats in the future for you and me. We will be our old selves again. We will gain insight to our own health. The psychiatrist that you hate will not help you. She will only make you sicker. You should take Alto’s advice and see somebody for CBT. You really need to talk to someone who understands withdrawal. Someone that is not a pill pusher. At this point, I don’t think there’s a drug on this planet that is going to help you. They will only make things worse and prolong you’re withdrawal and subsequent recovery. Talk to somebody. Join a yoga group. When I’m able to go, I find it so relaxing. Does wonders for the body and soul. You are going to have tough days ahead. But you’re healing will not begin until you stop adding and taking away drugs. This is truly a terrifying process. I cry, a lot. But I hold on to the hope that someday soon I will be the old me again. And I will have an appreciation for life like never before. You can do this D. Listen to the moderators. They’ve walked the walk. Your psychiatrist hasn’t. You need to slow down, take a deep breath and heed the advice that is given here. There’s a gold mine of information on this forum. And it’s free!! Priceless. Take care D. I’m rooting for you. Lg You can do this D. Listen to the moderators. They’ve walked the walk. Your psychiatrist hasn’t. You need to slow down, take a deep breath and heed the advice that is given here. There’s a gold mine of information on this forum. And it’s free!! Priceless. 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted January 1, 2018 Share Posted January 1, 2018 D you ok? quote came thru. No response. Lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Downbutnotout Posted January 1, 2018 Author Share Posted January 1, 2018 Thank you so much! I have to keep rereading. I’m rooting for you too. I agree with everything you say. I just have to work on believing that recovery is possible for me. I don’t know what your issues were that led to you taking drugs. How big was your depression? Confidence is what I need to find. Sounds like it’s something you’ve got. People like you, Christine, and Nikki are truly inspiring. Thank you so much. 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted January 1, 2018 Share Posted January 1, 2018 I didn’t have depression. I had anxiety and severe insomnia. I slept less than an hour most nights for years. Dr treated me for that with lexapro which is actually activating and didn’t resolve the sleep issue. Did little for the anxiety. It helped the first year but then the anxiety returned into the second year. I tried at the suggestion of the dr to up it to 20 mg. I think I went up by 2.5 mg and had a terrible reaction. Decided to go off of it instead. I felt brain dead. Completely apathetic. With a trembling anxiety. Worse than before I started it. I do have depression now in WD. It’s brutal. To have anxiety and depression at the same time is truly hell on earth. And I think I have every other symptom I’ve heard others speak of. Akathasia, trembling, sore blurry eyes, migraines, nausea. My hair is even falling out. And I’ve lost the lower lashes on one eye. I hate this. It’s cruel. But there’s no turning back now. I cry and complain a lot. I’m scared. But I believe I’ll come out the other side a stronger person. I don’t like the sniveling wimp it’s turned me into. The combination of drugs I’m on have taken my memory. Confused my thought process. I don’t want to live that way. The drugs are not allowing me to be myself. They robbed me of happiness, compassion, and all emotion. You can do this D. Try being drug free. Maybe you’re withdrawal won’t be as bad as others if you stop adding new drugs and give your brain a chance to heal. I made the same regretful mistake. After lexapro, I’ll have 3 other drugs to taper. We can do this!! take care. Lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Downbutnotout Posted January 1, 2018 Author Share Posted January 1, 2018 This was supposed to make you feel better? Lexapro was one of my next choices. I was going to try it before I found this site. Its tough and and I really want to support you. I am sorry you’re going through hell too. I tried ativan and liked it a lot except fir the depression and mania I got from it. Yes these drugs turn you into a zombie. Ive heard that about lexapro before. I am having a lot of the same symptoms as far as depression and anxiety. Another side effect is I’m unable to eat much. I hope I just didn’t lose my beads from eating gone wrong! Just happened. I guess there is no other choice right now that putting up with this. I can see why it wasn’t hard for you to make that decision. You sound really determined. I’m trying to get there. But everyone asking me why I’m doing this is not easy. Like I’m doing something really irresponsible. Buspar was a nightmare for me as well as prozac. Plus I almost got hooked on ativan. I’m still longing for that. I even was given 15 mg of folate that made me very hyper. My nervous system is way sensitized. I’m even afraid of taking vitamins. I have to think of ways to really change from negative to hopeful. Meditation and yoga are things I used to do on a regular basis.i have tried my meditation ap. I am scared as well. You can do this too! Your support means do much to me!!!!! 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment
Downbutnotout Posted January 1, 2018 Author Share Posted January 1, 2018 I didn’t take omneprazole and had a bad reaction to food. I’m afraid I may have gotten rid of my beads by throwing up. This happened about twenty minutes after I took them. Should I retake the beads? 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted January 1, 2018 Share Posted January 1, 2018 Hey D wow. I don’t know what you do about retaking the beads. A mod would have to answer that. They could have already gotten into your system in 20 min. ?????? i had no appetite at the beginning of wd either. I lost quite a bit of weight. My appetite is good most days now. I do eat a pretty clean diet. No sugar or caffeine. Mostly fruits and vegetables. A hard boiled egg for breakfast. Usually peanut butter for lunch. And a big dinner with chicken, fish or beef. I drink a couple veggie smoothies a day with fruit for flavor. Probably at this point, you’ll not find a drug that is going to agree with you. Like you said you’re system is sensitized to them. Probably that way for everyone on this forum. So, we have no choice but to tough it out. Easier said than done. But there is no other option. How are are you feeling today? lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Downbutnotout Posted January 1, 2018 Author Share Posted January 1, 2018 I feel okay. I’m so sad though. My dtr is in London for the year.,we live in ohio. I want to go over there to see her and make plans to do that. I wish there was something I could do to get out if this diminished state I’m in right now. thsts how I’d describe it. Very sad and diminished. I’m guessing those neurotransmitters are just sitting there , doing nothing.,I’ve taken this garbage for over 20 years., I felt so bad when I talked to my dtr. She wants us to come. Ordinarily I’d be so excited! I’m hoping it’s wd. I dont want want to be like this. Meanwhile I’m still burping. Lol hie long have you been in wd? I haven’t been able to eat in 6 months. I still weigh 165 pounds. I’ve lost about 30 pounds. Ordinarily I’d be thrilled. I have to inderstand that I cant take these drugs.,there’s no magic pill that will help me. Just make me sick. how are you? Where do you live? It sounds like your functioning. I wish I knew whether I should retake those beads. I can’t keep anything down anyway. 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment
Downbutnotout Posted January 1, 2018 Author Share Posted January 1, 2018 19 hours ago, Altostrata said: You need to get serious about Cognitive Behavior Therapy. You are continually working yourself up to "symptoms." We are all our own worst enemies. If you continually sabotage yourself, we can't help you here. 16 hours ago, Littlegrandma said: I didn’t have depression. I had anxiety and severe insomnia. I slept less than an hour most nights for years. Dr treated me for that with lexapro which is actually activating and didn’t resolve the sleep issue. Did little for the anxiety. It helped the first year but then the anxiety returned into the second year. I tried at the suggestion of the dr to up it to 20 mg. I think I went up by 2.5 mg and had a terrible reaction. Decided to go off of it instead. I felt brain dead. Completely apathetic. With a trembling anxiety. Worse than before I started it. I do have depression now in WD. It’s brutal. To have anxiety and depression at the same time is truly hell on earth. And I think I have every other symptom I’ve heard others speak of. Akathasia, trembling, sore blurry eyes, migraines, nausea. My hair is even falling out. And I’ve lost the lower lashes on one eye. I hate this. It’s cruel. But there’s no turning back now. I cry and complain a lot. I’m scared. But I believe I’ll come out the other side a stronger person. I don’t like the sniveling wimp it’s turned me into. The combination of drugs I’m on have taken my memory. Confused my thought process. I don’t want to live that way. The drugs are not allowing me to be myself. They robbed me of happiness, compassion, and all emotion. You can do this D. Try being drug free. Maybe you’re withdrawal won’t be as bad as others if you stop adding new drugs and give your brain a chance to heal. I made the same regretful mistake. After lexapro, I’ll have 3 other drugs to taper. We can do this!! take care. Lg 16 hours ago, Littlegrandma said: I didn’t have depression. I had anxiety and severe insomnia. I slept less than an hour most nights for years. Dr treated me for that with lexapro which is actually activating and didn’t resolve the sleep issue. Did little for the anxiety. It helped the first year but then the anxiety returned into the second year. I tried at the suggestion of the dr to up it to 20 mg. I think I went up by 2.5 mg and had a terrible reaction. Decided to go off of it instead. I felt brain dead. Completely apathetic. With a trembling anxiety. Worse than before I started it. I do have depression now in WD. It’s brutal. To have anxiety and depression at the same time is truly hell on earth. And I think I have every other symptom I’ve heard others speak of. Akathasia, trembling, sore blurry eyes, migraines, nausea. My hair is even falling out. And I’ve lost the lower lashes on one eye. I hate this. It’s cruel. But there’s no turning back now. I cry and complain a lot. I’m scared. But I believe I’ll come out the other side a stronger person. I don’t like the sniveling wimp it’s turned me into. The combination of drugs I’m on have taken my memory. Confused my thought process. I don’t want to live that way. The drugs are not allowing me to be myself. They robbed me of happiness, compassion, and all emotion. You can do this D. Try being drug free. Maybe you’re withdrawal won’t be as bad as others if you stop adding new drugs and give your brain a chance to heal. I made the same regretful mistake. After lexapro, I’ll have 3 other drugs to taper. We can do this!! take care. Lg 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment
Downbutnotout Posted January 1, 2018 Author Share Posted January 1, 2018 On 12/30/2017 at 8:59 PM, manymoretodays said: Hope. I saw your post on Kristine's thread. How do I/you stay hopeful? Go read JanCarols most recent post in Success stories. Time. Patience. Willingness to listen sometimes. To just listen. To find the space between the breath. Hug a tree. Hug somebody else. I actually write down gratitude lists almost daily. And you know what......it works for me. Here's one, a story, it goes something like this......"My leg ached so badly today, I could not stand it.......it was so very awful. I had to go and do errands and make dinner and, and, and...... Then I met a man with one leg." Best, mmt 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment
Downbutnotout Posted January 1, 2018 Author Share Posted January 1, 2018 I did read Jan carols story. Thanks for your input. Thsts so true. 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted January 1, 2018 Share Posted January 1, 2018 Hey D its going to take time and patience. For both of us. We can help ourselves by remaining calm. Practice relaxation techniques. We really have no other choice. We have to resign ourselves to that fact and begin healing. It’s brutal but nothing else we can do. It’s the hand we were dealt. Try to distract yourself. I play too many games on my phone when I can’t get outside. I have cabin fever right now. Not a fan of winter. I live in the Chicago area, so you know how cold it is. So, are you going to try to make it to London to see your daughter? That would be wonderful. That might be just what you need!! lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Downbutnotout Posted January 1, 2018 Author Share Posted January 1, 2018 What games do you play? I’d love to visit my dtr. It has to be further in the future. How long you’ve been at this? I’m having trouble distracting myself. Maybe I’ll start some games online. I heard words with friends is a good one. 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted January 1, 2018 Share Posted January 1, 2018 Words with friends is a good one. A little hard for me now with a foggy brain. I like toy blast and toon blast. Also Scroodles. Yazy is low key for when anxiety is high. Ive been at this, my taper, for 7 mo. Ive had few windows but some partial days once in awhile. It was easier when it was warm out. Sitting in the sun or walking in the yard or gardening was a nice relaxing distraction. I walk around Costco once in awhile or go out for lunch if I can handle it. My husband will take me for drives at night. It’s definitely a lifestyle change. But this too shall pass. Lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Moderator Frogie Posted January 2, 2018 Moderator Share Posted January 2, 2018 I'm really happy for you that you are on practically nothing. I'm on 2.5mg Lexapro and 1mg Xanax 3 times a day. It is very tough. But it sounds like you are doing well. I would love to be one to cheer you on. Take care, Frogie xx PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist. Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form) ---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil. Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper. 19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020) I am not a medical professional. The suggestions I make are based on personal experience. Link to comment
Downbutnotout Posted January 2, 2018 Author Share Posted January 2, 2018 I did not get on that the correct way. I got off in 3 weeks. I am reinstating effexir. I did it with s psychiatrist. 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment
Moderator Frogie Posted January 2, 2018 Moderator Share Posted January 2, 2018 Just now, Downbutnotout said: I did not get on that the correct way. I got off in 3 weeks. I am reinstating effexir. I did it with s psychiatrist. I've done a lot of incorrect things on getting off Lexapro. I decided one day to just cut it in half. What a nightmare! Then had a mistake with a liquid syringe in November with the pharmacy and ended up with a 50% taper. I wanted to taper this month, but I don't think that's going to happen. I think sometimes I'll never get off Lexapro. I will be the first in line to talk to you if you ever need someone to talk to and to cheer you on like I said. Keep up the good work though. At least you are doing it right now. Take care, Frogie xx PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist. Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form) ---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil. Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper. 19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020) I am not a medical professional. The suggestions I make are based on personal experience. Link to comment
Downbutnotout Posted January 2, 2018 Author Share Posted January 2, 2018 I want to formerly apologize to Kristine. I am so sorry. I should keep myself out of these discussions anyway. I’ve had a horrendous day although that’s no excuse. 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment
Downbutnotout Posted January 3, 2018 Author Share Posted January 3, 2018 I’ve had a pretty bad day today. 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment
Kristine Posted January 3, 2018 Share Posted January 3, 2018 15 minutes ago, Downbutnotout said: I want to formerly apologize to Kristine. I am so sorry. I should keep myself out of these discussions anyway. I’ve had a horrendous day although that’s no excuse. There really is nothing to apologise for D. You thought you read somewhere I had said something when I hadn't. It was an honest mistake. Please don't be so hard on yourself. The only reason I posted on Staz's thread was to clear up this misunderstanding. If others read what you said and then tried to find this information. They would have been looking for a long time...because Staz and I never had that discussion. It's ok, D ....I have a habit of trying to tidy up loose ends 😊 Please don't worry. I know you are having a hard time. If you check out my thread you'll see I'm not doing great, which is why I haven't been able to give as much at the moment. K Citalopram 20mg - 40mg ~ approx 2010 - October 2015 (stopped over one week) Parnate 20mg - 50mg and olazapine 5mg ~ Jan 2016 - May 2016 (ceased over 2 days) Lithium 450mg-900 mg and Thyroxin ~May 2016 - May 2017 Diazepam various doses (including PRN) ~ 2015 - 2017 Oxazepam various doses (including PRN) ~ May 2016 - June 2016 Lurasidone 20mg ~Mid May 2016 - Mid June 2016 Vortioxetine 10mg - 20mg ~ 6th June 2016 - 20th July 2016 (abruptly ceased) Amitriptyline 200mg ~July 2016 - September 2016 (ceased over 1 week) Nortriptyline (dose ?) ~October 2016 ~ November 2016 (abruptly ceased) Seroquel XR 100mg - 300mg ~ May 2016 - August 2017 (ceased over 3 weeks) Escitalopram 10mg - 30mg ~ August 2016 - March 2017 (ceased over 2 weeks) Bupropion 300mg ~ December 2016 - May 2017 (ceased over 1 week) Clonazepam 1.5mg daily ~ July 2016 (started tapering May 2017 - September 2017 currently on 0.375mg..ie 0.125mg TDS) 27th May 2018 5% 0.357mg (possible paradoxical reaction - see benzo thread) 28th June 5% 0.337mg, 28th July 10% 0.303mg, 12th September10% 0.272mg, 18th September reinstated 10% due to intolerable WD 0.303mg, 1st October-11th Oct 10% (1% reduction over 10 days) 0.272mg, 22nd October clonazepam ceased crossed over 10mg diazepam Dexamphatamine 20mg ~ December 2016 (started tapering October 2017 - tapered 1.25mg 4th Dec 2017, 1.25mg 19th Dec 2017 6.25mg, Speed up decrease due to major interaction between Dex and fluoxetine- ref to thread 10% 17th Feb 2018 5.63mg, 10% 21st Feb 2018 5.1mg, 10% 26th Feb 2018 4.5mg 10% 28th Feb 4.1mg, 10% 1st March 3.7mg, 10% 5th March 3.3mg, 10% 8th March 3mg, 10% 10th March 2.7mg, 10% 12th March 2.4mg, 10% 14th March 2.16mg, 10% 16th March 1.94mg, 10% 18th March 1.74mg, 10% 20th March 1.57mg, 10% 21st March 1.41mg, 10% 22nd March 1.26mg, 10% 23rd March 1.13mg, 10% 24th March 1.01mg, 10% 25th March 0.9mg, 10% 27th March 0.81mg, 10% 29th March 0.73mg, 10% 31st March 0.66mg, 10% 2nd April 0.59mg , 10% 4th April 0.53mg, 10% 6th April 0.47mg, 10% 8th April 0.42mg, 10%10th April 0.37mg, 11th April 0.2mg, 12th April 0.1mg (last dose) OFF! Fluoxetine 40mg ~December 2016 - 31 Jan 2018 reduced to 20mg (probable serotonin toxicity) 10th March 2020 10mg (1:1 ratio), 7th April 9mg, 1st May 8.5mg, 15th May 8.0mg, 27th May 7.5mg, 8th Sept 7.2mg, 2nd Oct 7mg, 19th Oct 6.8mg, 28th Oct 6.6mg, 5th Nov 6.4mg, 26th Nov 6mg, 2nd April 2021 5.9mg, 9th April 5.8mg, 19th April 5.75mg, 22nd April 5.7mg, 26th April 5.65mg,28th April 5.6mg, 1st May 5.5mg, 4th May 5.45mg, 7th May 5.4mg, 10th May 5.35mg, 12th May 5.3mg, 15th May 5.25mg, 18th May 5.2mg, 20th May 5.15mg, 22nd May 5mg, 10th July 4.5mg, 9th Aug 4.48mg (switched from syringe to pipette method), 12th Aug 4.46mg, 14th Aug 4.4mg, 18th Aug 4.38mg, 19th Aug 4.36mg, 20th Aug 4.34, 21st 4.32mg, 22nd 4.3mg, 23rd Aug 4mg (hold), (micro-taper) 12th Oct 2021 3.98mg, 14th Oct 3.96mg, 15th Oct 3.94mg, 16th Oct 3.92mg, 17th Oct 3.9mg, 18th Oct 3.88mg, 19th Oct 3.86mg, 21st Oct 3.84mg, 22nd Oct 3.82mg, 23rd Oct 3.8mg, 24th Oct 3.78mg, 25th Oct 3.76mg, 26th Oct 3.74mg, 27th Oct 3.72mg, (WD reached intolerable level, reinstated 0.06mg) 28th Oct 3.8mg, 7th March 2022 3.7mg, 21st March 3.6mg, 4th April 3.5mg, 18th April 3.4mg, 2nd May 3.3mg, 16th May 3.2mg, 20th June 3.1mg, 4th July 3mg, 18th July 2.9mg, 12th September 2.7mg, 18th October 2.5mg, 14th Nov 2.3mg, 12th December 2.1mg, 18th January 2023 1.9mg, 9th July 2023 1.88mg, 16th July 1.86mg, 23rd July 1.84mg, 30th July 1.82mg, 6th Aug 1.80mg, 10th Sept 1.7mg, 12th Oct 1.68mg, 23rd Oct 1.66mg, 30th Oct 1.64mg, 6th Nov 1.62mg, 13th Nov 1.60mg, (2:1 ratio) 30th Dec 1.597mg, 7th Jan 2024 1.595mg, 8th 1.592mg, 10th 1.589, 11th 1.587, 12th 1.585, 13th 1.583, 14th 1.58 cont… 5th Feb 1.56mg, 11th Feb 1.55mg, 19th Feb 1.54mg, 26th Feb 1.53mg, 4th March 1.52mg, 11th March 1.51mg, 25th March 1.50mg, 1st April 1.49mg, 8th April 1.48mg, 15th April 1.47mg, 22nd April 1.46mg, 29th April 1.45mg Diazepam 10mg ~ 22nd Oct 2018, 10th November 8mg, 14th Nov 7mg, 8th December 6mg, 30th December 5mg (Nocte), 7th March 2019 4.5mg,14th March 4mg, 5th April 3.5mg, 9th April 3mg, 18th April 2.5mg,1st May 2mg, 17th May 1.75mg, 25th May 1.6mg, 4th June 1.59mg, 5th June 1.58mg, 6th June 1.57mg, 7th June 1.56mg, 8th June 1.55mg, 22nd June 1.4mg, 4th July 1.2mg, 16th July 1mg, 30th July 0.8mg, 13th Aug 0.6mg, 28th Aug 0.4mg, 10th Sept 0.2mg, 23rd Sept Off! SR Circadin 2mg (melatonin) 25th May - 20th June Zolpidem 10mg 25th May (7 tablets) Supplements: Magnesium glycinate (soluble - sip throughout the day) "Whenever you feel yourself doubting how far you can go, just remember how far you have come. Remember everything you have faced, all the battles you have won, and all the fears you have overcome" Unknown Link to comment
Downbutnotout Posted January 3, 2018 Author Share Posted January 3, 2018 Does anyone else have a rumination problem? I’ve had a lot of past stuff come back to haunt me since I’ve been off the drugs. Is this common? I’d like to hear from a mod if that’s possible. 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment
wantrelief Posted January 3, 2018 Share Posted January 3, 2018 Hi DBNO - I am not a mod and am still on meds but not stable and I have had a major problem with rumination....the thoughts are quite persistent. I have had the same thoughts as you describe - all of this stuff coming up from the past. For me it is about stuff that I feel embarrassed or guilty about, things I don't feel I handled well or just uncomfortable things that have happened in my life. I have read that this is common. I try to just label them as thoughts as they come up, use the "change the channel" technique, or distract but it can be challenging and distressing for sure. -1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD) -10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot -Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram -Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015 -8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?) - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg). Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin Citalopram taper: 2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg; 3/29/24: 1.17 mg; 4/5/24: 1.14 mg; 4/13/24: 1.11 mg; 4/20/24: 1.09 mg; 4/27/24: 1.06 mg Link to comment
Staz Posted January 3, 2018 Share Posted January 3, 2018 33 minutes ago, Downbutnotout said: Does anyone else have a rumination problem? I’ve had a lot of past stuff come back to haunt me since I’ve been off the drugs. Is this common? I’d like to hear from a mod if that’s possible. Yes , Big time. All the things I should have said and done. Situations I could have handled better. One instance plays on me more than any other though. We were on holiday in majorca and my son who was 18 months and suffering from chicken pox came out crying onto the balcony where I was sat at about 11pm. I scolded him and told him to go back to bed when all he was looking for was some comfort from his dad. This haunts me still after 20 years and I replay this constantly in my mind at night at times. He doesn't remember but I do and the guilt has become more intense with w/d's. Dosulepin 75mg 1996 - 1997 tapered off no problem - Prozac sporadic use between 1995 and 2011 usually 9 months then off. Mirtazapine 2015 tapered off after 4 months no problem -Prozac 20mg 2012-2015 tapered off no problems Prozac 20mg April 2016-May 2016 stopped ct after 4 weeks due to adverse reaction I believe to be serotnin toxicity due to mirtazapine interaction Escitlopram 10 mg May 2016 - cut to 5mg May 2016 stopped ct November 2016 no W/d's noted Lyrica 300mg May 2016 - July 2017 - Taper from Jan to Jul 17 awful taper. Lofepramine 150mg November 2016 - January 2017 Swift w/d as it didn't work Quetiapine 75mg November 2016 changed to 150 XL May2017 changed to 150mg IR July 2017 reduced to in 25mg steps from July to 50mg Oct 17. 37.5mg 12th Nov 17 - 35mg 20 Nov 17 - 30mg 22 Nov 17 - 25mg 24 Nov 17 dropped to 20mg Dec 17, 15mg Jan 18. Current taken at bedtime. Quetiapine dropped Jan 17th 2018. Dosulepin 75mg May 2017 - increased in 25mg steps to 175mg Oct 17 Reduced to 150mg Nov 17 current taken at bedtime Diazepam 15mg May 2016 - c/t'd by shrink after 6 weeks. Reinstated at 12mg after 4 weeks June 16 - current 4mg 3 times a day morning, 2.30pm and bedtime. Mirtazapine 15mg since March 2015 - current - pooped out within 4 weeks Link to comment
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