☼ a7xbabydoll: Introduction, 18 years of SSRI's, now MED FREE!!! (but having issues)

[a7xbabydoll]

I am an almost 30 year old wife and mom of 2 beautiful kiddos. I stumbled across this website while trying to figure out if the current issues I have been having were from tapering off of Zoloft in November 2017.

 

I started SSRI's (Paxil) at 11 years when diagnosed with OCD tendencies. (recurring thoughts, perfection/control issues).

 

Switched to Celexa after weight gain issues after starting Paxil. Had issues with body image and eating (over eating and restriction). 

 

I started restricting heavily and binging and purging at 20 years old and was switched to Prozac. 

 

I also was on adderall for ADHD in my early 20's for a brief period. (I was mostly concerned about not being able to concentrate, brain fog, and irritability).

 

I was diagnosed as anorexic with bulimic tendencies at inpatient care for eating disorder at 24 (2012). Had a couple of relapses after inpatient, but then became pregnant in 2013 and haven't relapsed since. 

I switched to Zoloft (100 mg) during early pregnancy (2013). 

 

In Summer of 2017 I realized that my medication didn't seem to be helping me at all anymore. I suffered from insomnia, irritability, fatigue, and brain fog. I decided to taper from the 100mg of Zoloft I was on. I dropped to 75 mg for a month, then 50 mg for a month, 25 mg for a month, and have been medication free as of November 2017!!! I had no withdrawal symptoms, but still had irritability, insomnia, fatigue, and brain fog. 

 

In February 2018 I started getting super itchy at night. I would get hives and I couldn't fall asleep. It was maddening!!! I switched laundry detergents, made sure I used fragrance free soap. I took all the normal precautions for skin issues and nothing helped. I tried relaxing through the issues and it has helped the itching, but I have developed Dermatographia (skin writing). I will get hive like marks where clothes rubs or any extra stimulation has occured on my skin (for example: if I carry a bag, I get tons of hive like marks where the bag was resting in the exact shape of the bag handles) Skin issues seem to occur more in the evening hours, but still can happen during the day, usually more mild. I do sometimes get a burning/tingly sensation in areas (usually hands or feet), but that goes away rather quickly.

 

In April 2018, I started a new job and have had less issues with insomnia. Just a random night here and there where it is difficult to sleep, but I work a 12 hour rotation on first shift and have 2 young children, so that could very well play into that 😉

 

I also started having recurring stomach issues. Lots of gas/bloating. Sometimes it is super painful. I get so bloated at times I look like I'm in early pregnancy! It is usually more painful during the evening hours. I have diarrhea/loose stools every day. I do follow a balanced Vegan diet (dairy and egg introlerances) and I am very active, but it has never seemed to be an issue before.

 

The fatigue just has me constantly feeling like I want to take a nap and thinking of picking up my 30 pound toddler or walking up a flight of stairs just exhausts me. It's hard to even push my kids on the swings.

 

My last period was March 5th and I have never been this late (NOT pregnant.... husband has a vasectomy and I took 5 tests 😆)

 

I am unsure of whether this is a result of being off of SSRI's or if it is a different health issue. It is driving me crazy trying to figure it out!!! I just want to enjoy my time with my family and function properly.

 

 I have a doctor appointment in June for a pap and to talk about my symptoms, but wanted to see if anyone else has went through something similar (and I honestly think the doctor may tell me I'm crazy-- lol).

 

💜a7xbabydoll 

2000 - Paxil

A few months later - Celexa 

2010 - Prozac 

2012 - Brief period of Adderall

2013 - Zoloft (100 mg)

8/2017 - 75 mg, 9/2017 - 50 mg, 10/2017 - 25 mg 

November 2017 - MED FREE!!!

 

[Petunia]

Welcome a7xbabydoll,

Thank you for posting an introduction and congratulations for being med free.

 

I'm sorry to hear that you have been having symptoms since stopping Zoloft, it sounds to me like you are having some withdrawal effects, caused by tapering too fast. We suggest reducing by no more than 10% of the current dose every 4 weeks, this reduces the risk of withdrawal symptoms arising. Please read through this which will explain why:

  

Why taper by 10% of my dosage?  (The general philosophy of gradual tapering)

 

These drugs can cause unwanted symptoms while on them, but also if you come off them too fast. It can take a while to recover from the brain changes caused by the drugs themselves, and also any damage caused by coming off them too fast, but you will recover, I can't tell you how long it will take, but you will get better over time. The most important thing is to take care of yourself the best you can, have patience and don't introduce any more drugs to treat symptoms. Many people find  fish oil and magnesium helpful, see King of Supplements: Omega 3 Fatty Acids (Fish Oil) and Magnesium, Nature's Calcium Channel Blocker

 

Its great that your insomnia is improving, that's a good sign. Your issues with itching and hive like symptoms may be because of histamine imbalance. SSRIs act like anti-histamines, so you may be having rebound histamine issues. This should settle down in time.

 

Another member, O2bhappy, has recently been diagnosed with Dermatographia, probably withdrawal related, they wrote about it towards the end of this thread:  Skin issues: hives, acne, dryness, itching etc

 

I will post more links for you to read, there is a lot of information here, so please take your time to work through it, don't let yourself get overwhelmed.

 

What is withdrawal syndrome?

 

Dr. Joseph Glenmullen's withdrawal symptom checklist

 

Digestive problems: nausea, diarrhoea, bloating, GERD - Symptoms ...

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

•  

 

Videos

 

Patterns of Recovery

 

The Power of Neuroplasicity

 

Here is the link to our symptoms and self care section, you may find some useful ideas to help manage symptoms as you recover.  Especially read the topics pinned at the top.

 

You can use this thread as your ongoing journal to track progress, write about symptoms, ask questions and communicate with the community, add to it whenever you want. Its a good idea to bookmark it or follow it, so its easy to find again.

 

Please let us know how your doctor appointment goes, many of them don't know about withdrawal or understand the need for slow, careful tapering.

 

Petunia.

Edited May 24, 2018 by Petunia
fixed link

[a7xbabydoll]

Thank you for your reply Petunia.

 

I will definitely look over the information you posted. I wish I would have tapered slower, but since it has been 6 months since my last dose I think I'm past the point of reintroducing it to taper correctly? 

 

I am glad to hear that I shouldn't have to deal with the withdrawals forever... I just want to get back to normal!

 

I was taking Magnesium, but find it makes the diarrhea worse so I stopped taking that a couple months ago. I may try it out again. 

 

I will definitely update after the doctor appointment. I may not even bring it up if things improve.

 

Today was a better day gut wise. I did have skin and itchy/burning sensation issues today, but nothing intense... Just a bit annoying.

 

Trying to live life one day at a time and be thankful. 

 

[Petunia]

33 minutes ago, a7xbabydoll said:

I wish I would have tapered slower, but since it has been 6 months since my last dose I think I'm past the point of reintroducing it to taper correctly? 

 

There is a possibility reinstatement of a very small amount would help to reduce withdrawal symptoms, then a slower taper could be started. But at 6 months out, the risk of increasing symptoms, due to a sensitized nervous system are high, so I don't recommend it. Its something to consider, and ultimately your decision. Here is our reinstatement topic with more information:  About reinstating and stabilizing to stop withdrawal symptoms

 

38 minutes ago, a7xbabydoll said:

I was taking Magnesium, but find it makes the diarrhea worse so I stopped taking that a couple months ago. I may try it out again. 

 

Yes, some forms of Magnesium can cause this.  Magnesium citrate and magnesium glycinate are supposed to be the most biologically available and effective, but may be more expensive. I have found that glycinate is the least likely to cause diarrhea.

[a7xbabydoll]

Thank you Petunia. I won't be reintroducing the med since it has been so long. Just gotta get through these withdrawals! I've been through worse.

 

I have the Natural Vitality Natural Calm Magensium Supplement.  

[Gridley]

Diarrhea can be caused by too high a dosage of magnesium.  You might consider lowering your dosage.

[RenewedLife]

Welcome to SA @a7xbabydoll! I think you'll find lots of helpful information here!! I have had some of the same symptoms when it comes to Zoloft withdrawals. I reinstated last August after 3 months off. My doctor actually tried 20 mg of Prozac prior to putting me back on Zoloft. Actually I called begging to be put back on Zoloft. In hindsight, I wish I would have just stopped the Prozac and not done anything, but I was in such a tailspin that it had worked before and was hoping it would work again. Anyways, I would try to continue to ride it out drug free. With time your body should recover and you'll feel back to yourself. Having kiddos makes it so hard. I have a 2 year old and get so emotional sometimes thinking about how I feel and if I could just feel better, I could be a more attentive and involved mom. Not that I'm not now, but it takes so much energy and wears me out FAST. I hope that you start feeling better soon!

[a7xbabydoll]

@RenewedLife I definitely understand feeling like we're not being the best we can... it is definitely hard! I have a 4.5 and almost 2 year old and they are a lot to handle at times and I just want to cry when it gets difficult. I  just try to breathe and remember that I have control of my reaction to things and it's okay not to be "perfect". Sorry to hear that you are going through similar issues. Definitely riding this out drug free since it's been so long already. Sending my support and some hugs ❤

[a7xbabydoll]

@Gridley I haven't taken Magnesium for months. I started again today (1/2 tsp) so hopefully it won't things worse. 

[a7xbabydoll]

Okay so the magnesium is still a no go.

 

I have been feeling better mood wise this past week. Not as irritable. Trying to be more aware of my mood and reactions to things.

 

My stomach wasn't happy 3 days out of 7, so that is an improvement as well. I am trying to figure out what has been bothering me and it seems to be portion sizes and veggies, but sometimes it's random.

 

I still get tingles/slight itching at night, but it's bearable.

 

Still dealing with fatigue and still haven't gotten my period (56 days late). 

 

Hopefully on the road to normal bodily functions soon. 

[RuthS]

I found reducing carbs In my diet helps me the most with anxiety/sleep issues.  Also, your digestive issues could caused by leaky gut.  Leaky gut could also explain your skin issues.  Even anxiety and insomnia can result from leaky gut syndrome.  I think most ailments are related to gut dysfunction.  You might want to look into that as a possible solution.  

[a7xbabydoll]

@RuthS I find my stomach does better lately with less vegetables. I am Vegan so eliminating carbs can be quite the difficult task. I am pretty focused on my nutrition since my past eating disorder issues. I am trying to make sure my protein sources aren't as gas causing lately as well. I do drink Vegan Shakeology which contains digestive enzymes, pre & probiotics. I have been drinking it for over a year now. I'm hoping I don't have an allergy 😔 (I already have dairy & egg intolerances)

[RuthS]

That sounds good.  I used to be vegan, but I found a low carb paleo diet works better for me.  I don’t eat a lot of protein; I eat more high quality fats and tons of above-ground vegetables.  Nothing processed.  Everyone is different though.  What works for one person could be poison to another.

[powerback]

3 hours ago, RuthS said:

That sounds good.  I used to be vegan, but I found a low carb paleo diet works better for me.  I don’t eat a lot of protein; I eat more high quality fats and tons of above-ground vegetables.  Nothing processed.  Everyone is different though.  What works for one person could be poison to another.

I like what you say here RuthS ,I'm in the process of learning about keto and lowering my carbs massively ,I've been a carb/ sugar addict for all my life and I'm determined to change and it's bound to help my sympthoms .when I did vegan I was gravitateing too much to carbs and sugar .

I'm also practicing to chew my food much more .takes pressure off the digestive system no doubt .

[a7xbabydoll]

Chewing more and slowing down when I eat seems to help me as well. I don't function well doing super low carb. I wouldn't say I eat low carb, but I don't eat tons and I also eat complex carbs (sweet potato, quinoa, wild rice, etc.) It's all about what works best for your own body!

[powerback]

1 hour ago, a7xbabydoll said:

Chewing more and slowing down when I eat seems to help me as well. I don't function well doing super low carb. I wouldn't say I eat low carb, but I don't eat tons and I also eat complex carbs (sweet potato, quinoa, wild rice, etc.) It's all about what works best for your own body!

Yep exactly , there's no one fits all .you are very correct about not doing great on low carbs ,we can go into  carb/sugar withdrawal from this . complex carbs is what I've read also .

Take care .

[a7xbabydoll]

Update!!!

 

I have now been med free over a year. The itchiness only occurs mildly once and a while and if I ignore it, it goes away. 

 

Stomach issues are gone. 

 

I had some issues with ED relapse, but have been doing better the last couple of days. 

 

I switched to a part time position and deal with insomnia on work nights, but I am thinking it's because I know I have to get up so early and that prevents me from falling asleep since it nags at me in my subconscious.

 

I went through some dark days of depression this summer, but seem to be over that now thankfully. (Self loathing, completely negative, no motivation, no energy). I am glad that is over. 

 

I am easing back into an active lifestyle (joyful, conscious movement. At the moment I am dancing. Sometimes I do yoga and take walks when the weather permits). I am trying to focus on eating when hungry and not restricting foods or counting calories. There are days I wish I could just be normal with food and not worry about it. I know it is my negative self image and I'm working on loving myself.

 

One day at a time.

[Altostrata]

Thanks for the good news, a7x.

 

This calls for our cheerful "here comes the sun" symbol ☼ to be added to the title of your Intro topic, to show you're recovering.

 

A lot of people find fish oil and magnesium supplements helpful, see
http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/

http://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15483-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

Try a little bit of one at a time to see how it affects you.

 

Also see

Tips to help sleep -- so many of us have that awful withdrawal insomnia 

 

What is the sleep cycle?

 

Melatonin for sleep: Many people find it helpful

 

TV or computer use in evening can disrupt sleep: Bright light signals the brain that it's daytime

 

Please continue to let us know how you're doing. I hope you will add your story to our Recovery Success Stories eventually!

[a7xbabydoll]

Thank you @Altostrata! I take Vegan EPA/DHA instead of fish oil. I have yet to find a magnesium supplement that doesn't cause me GI upset so I have cacao powder in my morning  coffee for a boost. I will check out the sleep help links as well 😁

[Altostrata]

What do you think caused the itchiness?

[a7xbabydoll]

@Altostrata I read somewhere that SSRI's act similar to antihistamines and some people even take them for allergies, so I am guessing that has something to do with it. My brain is getting used to running without the SSRI's now so I think that is why the itching is a lot less. I am sure that things aren't still as they need to be, but my brain is working on it!