coldturkmama Recovered after Paxil cold turkey

[coldturkmama]

On 12/29/2019 at 9:39 AM, Snorky said:

Hi C

 

Brassmonkey v kindly told me about your post and experience. I’m also CT status (as per my thread in intro section?) Gist is stopped amitriptyline 25mg Sept 19, but lots of other ADs over thirty years.

 

My main issues on mental side are depressive thoughts, anhedonia and anxiety (in that order)  However, on phthalates side I struggle with worsening head tremors and tics.  I was intrigued to read your comments re throbbing legs, and wondered if they were ditto mine? 24/7, knees to toes, both sides, combo of “pressure type sensations, numbness and pins and needles. Is that what you had/have?

 

Thank you

 

Hi  

 

mine was pain...terrible leg pain from my knees to my ankles which left me in tears quite often.  

4 minutes ago, Melissa5000 said:

Thank you very much for sharing your story! I am in a wave right now and visited the recovery stories to cheer me up! 

It helps a lot! Thank you!!!!!!!! 

Keep the faith, it will end

[Snorky]

6 hours ago, coldturkmama said:

 

Hi  

 

mine was pain...terrible leg pain from my knees to my ankles which left me in tears quite often.  

Keep the faith, it will end

Ok thanks. Mine is mainly nervy type sensations across both lower legs 24/7. They set you on edge, and I sometimes think the same symptom is in my head. Ie constant tightness and edge.

 

I know this can take a long time, but 4 months in and getting worse (not just lack of windows!)

 

 

[coldturkmama]

4 hours ago, Snorky said:

Ok thanks. Mine is mainly nervy type sensations across both lower legs 24/7. They set you on edge, and I sometimes think the same symptom is in my head. Ie constant tightness and edge.

 

I know this can take a long time, but 4 months in and getting worse (not just lack of windows!)

 

 

 

4 months in is, unfortunately, very early in the process. It will improve but I found it to be a very one step forward, three back healing.

[Snorky]

39 minutes ago, coldturkmama said:

 

4 months in is, unfortunately, very early in the process. It will improve but I found it to be a very one step forward, three back healing.

Thanks again. The big prob I have (apart from 30 year AD usage) is my age -60, and inability to work with these symptoms. How on earth do people manage financially?

 

 

[Cocopuffz17]

2 hours ago, Snorky said:

Thanks again. The big prob I have (apart from 30 year AD usage) is my age -60, and inability to work with these symptoms. How on earth do people manage financially?

 

 

I was fortunate I could work. But I had to take a much lesser job at almost a 50% pay cut to be able to do it. It was very challenging for 8 months until I felt better and was able to get back into my normal job. I was fortunate enough to have a decent size nest egg of cash and I spent a decent chunk of it and would do it all over again to get off of these meds. 

[Snorky]

17 minutes ago, Cocopuffz17 said:

I was fortunate I could work. But I had to take a much lesser job at almost a 50% pay cut to be able to do it. It was very challenging for 8 months until I felt better and was able to get back into my normal job. I was fortunate enough to have a decent size nest egg of cash and I spent a decent chunk of it and would do it all over again to get off of these meds. 

Thanks.

 

I agree entirely with your sentiments. My fear is about the deterioration over last few weeks of CT period. I tried reinstatement of 2.5mg of amitriptyline but that didn’t work. Alto suggested possibly reinstating small venlafaxine dose, as had been on that longest ( 2010-2018). I’m as terrified by Russian Roulette uncertainty as the symptoms currently experiencing.

 

PS. I bumped a post on my main thread about my version of anhedonia. Seems to have been overlooked. Do you mind taking a look?

 

Thanks again

[coldturkmama]

On 12/31/2019 at 9:48 AM, Snorky said:

Thanks again. The big prob I have (apart from 30 year AD usage) is my age -60, and inability to work with these symptoms. How on earth do people manage financially?

 

 

 

Ugh I don’t know, it would be almost impossible for some. 

[Snorky]

Hi C

 

Hope you’re ok. I just posted on my intro about significant weight loss since CT.  Only apparent as many commented this week on my return to work. 

 

Is is this something you’ve experienced or are aware of? Going to Doc tomorrow to raise with him.

 

Thanks

[coldturkmama]

On 1/2/2020 at 9:34 AM, Snorky said:

Hi C

 

Hope you’re ok. I just posted on my intro about significant weight loss since CT.  Only apparent as many commented this week on my return to work. 

 

Is is this something you’ve experienced or are aware of? Going to Doc tomorrow to raise with him.

 

Thanks

 

Hi, 

no- I didn’t experience significant weight loss, which I wish I had because on Paxil o had gained a lotttt of weight. I’ve had to work very hard to get weight off since coming off the drug.

[Snorky]

54 minutes ago, coldturkmama said:

 

Hi, 

no- I didn’t experience significant weight loss, which I wish I had because on Paxil o had gained a lotttt of weight. I’ve had to work very hard to get weight off since coming off the drug.

Hi C

 

Thank you. Yes, I always thought usage and taper more associated with weight gain too. Appears others, like me, can lose weight through anxiety and loss of appetite.

[Katy398]

Thank you so much Mama,

I have just been trying to work out how to start using Claire Weekes but my cognitive fog prevented me from working out how to start and which book to buy. I’m a year in to at CT.

I was wondering if you know of a CT group? 

Our journey is so different to the tapering group. There’s no waiting to stabilise, just waiting for that unknown.

Any advice or insight would be greatly appreciated. This CT journey is terrifying.

Thanks again Mama Take care Kx

[Armorall]

Hi CTM- so excited to read about your recovery! Do you feel that the anxiety you have now is your original anxiety, or one that still comes from WD anxiety?

Thanks!

[coldturkmama]

On 1/3/2020 at 3:45 PM, Snorky said:

Hi C

 

Thank you. Yes, I always thought usage and taper more associated with weight gain too. Appears others, like me, can lose weight through anxiety and loss of appetite.

 

I only wish I had lost some, but it’s a hard way to lose weight. I hope you are feeling better.

[Sani]

On 12/29/2019 at 7:09 PM, Snorky said:

Hi C

 

Brassmonkey v kindly told me about your post and experience. I’m also CT status (as per my thread in intro section?) Gist is stopped amitriptyline 25mg Sept 19, but lots of other ADs over thirty years.

 

My main issues on mental side are depressive thoughts, anhedonia and anxiety (in that order)  However, on phthalates side I struggle with worsening head tremors and tics.  I was intrigued to read your comments re throbbing legs, and wondered if they were ditto mine? 24/7, knees to toes, both sides, combo of “pressure type sensations, numbness and pins and needles. Is that what you had/have?

 

Thank you

Hi, I was off from antidepressants for fours months and I was doing pretty good. But due to  so infection I had to take a course of antibiotics and my symptoms became worse, exactly wat u described. Just wanna ask you, have you been on some antibiotics? Or something like an over indulgence of MSG food, or maybe some different medication, alcohol? U never know what can be it trigger. For me it was antibiotics.

On 12/29/2019 at 7:09 PM, Snorky said:

Hi C

 

Brassmonkey v kindly told me about your post and experience. I’m also CT status (as per my thread in intro section?) Gist is stopped amitriptyline 25mg Sept 19, but lots of other ADs over thirty years.

 

My main issues on mental side are depressive thoughts, anhedonia and anxiety (in that order)  However, on phthalates side I struggle with worsening head tremors and tics.  I was intrigued to read your comments re throbbing legs, and wondered if they were ditto mine? 24/7, knees to toes, both sides, combo of “pressure type sensations, numbness and pins and needles. Is that what you had/have?

 

Thank you

Hi, I was off from antidepressants for fours months and I was doing pretty good. But due to  so infection I had to take a course of antibiotics and my symptoms became worse, exactly wat u described. Just wanna ask you, have you been on some antibiotics? Or something like an over indulgence of MSG food, or maybe some different medication, alcohol? U never know what can be it trigger. For me it was antibiotics.

[Cocopuffz17]

11 hours ago, Sani said:

Hi, I was off from antidepressants for fours months and I was doing pretty good. But due to  so infection I had to take a course of antibiotics and my symptoms became worse, exactly wat u described. Just wanna ask you, have you been on some antibiotics? Or something like an over indulgence of MSG food, or maybe some different medication, alcohol? U never know what can be it trigger. For me it was antibiotics.

Antibiotic destroy all the bacteria, not just the bad ones. It wipes everything out. That is why broad spectrum antibiotics cause flares in symptoms. I personally will never use these in my life again, unless it is life or death. This is my opinion and not medical advice.

[Hanna72]

Hi @Cocopuffz17 

Did you ever feel that sugar was a trigger for you. I have the worst time taking that one out of my diet, and I can really feel that it triggers my anxiety. 
Also one other question, what food did you find helping you the most during withdrawals, was it the whole change in diet, or did you find some food helping more then other? 
 

[Cocopuffz17]

7 hours ago, Hanna72 said:

Hi @Cocopuffz17 

Did you ever feel that sugar was a trigger for you. I have the worst time taking that one out of my diet, and I can really feel that it triggers my anxiety. 
Also one other question, what food did you find helping you the most during withdrawals, was it the whole change in diet, or did you find some food helping more then other? 
 

Fortunately I removed a huge amount of sugar 1-2 months before I started my fast taper of paroxetine. It was awful I laid in bed the first three days sweating and shaking withdrawing from sugar. I have kept a low level of sugar intake ever since. Like maybe 5 - 10 grams a day. almost all from the vegetables I eat. 
 

This is the catch. It’s not the foods you eat. It is the foods you take out. High lectin foods are the ones I removed from my diet. I notice immediately or the next day when I consume them and how awful I feel again. So I feel better and then try again and it hits like a freight train, so I avoid them even more. 
 

Everyday that passes is one day closer to being healed!!!
 

 
 

 

[Hanna72]

@Cocopuffz17 Thanks I appreciate it👍 It just seems like I can’t indulge in anything these days, already took alcohol and coffee out, and now I have to take sugar out, which I like too much😟

Well...so be it, no pain no gain💪
 

[Cocopuffz17]

2 minutes ago, Hanna72 said:

@Cocopuffz17 Thanks I appreciate it👍 It just seems like I can’t indulge in anything these days, already took alcohol and coffee out, and now I have to take sugar out, which I like too much😟

Well...so be it, no pain no gain💪
 

There is tons of nice recipes to have. I personally don’t enjoy cooking/baking that much so I keep mine simple. But I have seen some great items!

 

Yes, exactly that is my mindset! If someone would of said I’d feel the way I do right now 8 months ago(when I was in my worst of WD) I would of never believed them. 
 

Everyday that passes is one day closer to being healed! 

[Hanna72]

@Cocopuffz17 oh wow, just checked out the recipes, looks yummy, I will give it a try for sure.

Its suppose to heal your gut, so it should help me out😃

[Cocopuffz17]

4 hours ago, Hanna72 said:

@Cocopuffz17 oh wow, just checked out the recipes, looks yummy, I will give it a try for sure.

Its suppose to heal your gut, so it should help me out😃

 

I would of never agreed with that statement till I went through it and watched my health change by fixing my leaky gut. 

[Hanna72]

@Cocopuffz17 Been sugar free for 2 days now, and increased a lot of vegetables in my diet, and it’s amazing how much energy I have felt. I did a fast walk yesterday, for the first time in weeks. I truly believe a nutrition plays a key role in my recovery. 
It astonishes me why doctors don’t look at people’s lifestyle and nutrition when we look to them for help with in my case anxiety. 
Now I just have to stick with these changes and today I feel like...,just bring it on WD 💪💪😀

Thank you for your help🙏

[Cocopuffz17]

7 hours ago, Hanna72 said:

@Cocopuffz17 Been sugar free for 2 days now, and increased a lot of vegetables in my diet, and it’s amazing how much energy I have felt. I did a fast walk yesterday, for the first time in weeks. I truly believe a nutrition plays a key role in my recovery. 
It astonishes me why doctors don’t look at people’s lifestyle and nutrition when we look to them for help with in my case anxiety. 
Now I just have to stick with these changes and today I feel like...,just bring it on WD 💪💪😀

Thank you for your help🙏

 

That is amazing to hear! I am glad it is working so good for you!!

 

Yes, you have to remember how doctors are educated. They are educated to treat the symptom(with medication) and not the root cause(fixing the issue,usually nutrition related or lifestyle related). The really sad part is when you get into money. They don't make money by telling you to change the foods you eat. They make money by prescribing medications which people want and alot of the time end up on for life. Unfortunately society has created this by not wanting to change themselves and just wanting a pill for everything. 

 

I heard a great story/sad story at the same time. It came from a friend who works at an animal hospital. There was a huge amount of animals that had a bacterial infection in their colon ( I want to call it C.Diff but I am unsure if its the same in animals as it is in humans). They were using antibiotics to get rid of this infection and it had no success. These treatments were 100's per dose. The Vet said they were going to die if they couldn't get rid of it and suggested a fecal matter transplant(FMT). Which simply takes poop from healthy animals and transplants it to the unhealthy animal. The success rate was almost 100%. The catch...... it literally was a free treatment as the workers just collected healthy poop from their pets at home and they used that. This completely reversed near death experience these pets had. The catch is the pill treatment make the companies a ton of money and the FMT method makes the drug companies literally nothing.

 

RESULTS will be the thing that change the world on these medications. As more and more people struggle through life by being told they need medications for life. But there are people who are thriving with the same diagnoses by just changing their lifestyles! I have read way too many stories and personally seen people change these dire situations with simply changing the foods they put in their mouth! It only makes sense that the thing that is effecting our health is what is making up 98% of our body and we do it everyday of our lives from birth to death is the food we put into it! 

 

Sorry got a bit sidetracked there! Yes, stick to it! I myself have found myself slide back time to time. Even last week I ate 2 meals that I knew were awful for me and I went into a wave for a week from it. I know better and every time I do it I remember it is not worth and will work harder to not do it! 

 

Everyday that passes is another day closer to being healed!!

[Hanna72]

@Cocopuffz17 I absolutely couldn’t agree more.

I have also been digging into psychiatry and it’s history, and it’s mind blowing how they have invented hundreds of diagnoses, just few psychiatrists sitting in a meeting, most  of them closely connected to the big pharma  and the insurance companies and voted on diagnoses. 
The first DMS came out in 1952 with listed 102 disorders. The newest one was published in 2013 with staggering 297 disorders🤨

With that said we most all suffer mental illnesses, right!!

I just wish people would research these meds before taking them. Sadly my country Iceland is ne 1 in prescription of AD.

 

Edited March 21, 2020 by Hanna72

[bhasski]

Hi @coldturkmama

So happy to hear that you feel recovered. 

I am 4 years off meds but yet not in a good space.  Sometimes I try a lot of things to get better , ayurveda or supplements  - whatever anybody suggests, as if I have lost my power to decide good or bad.

Sheer desperation to get better. I  try to be functional but emotions are out of the roof -  mostly on the negative side. 

Physical symptoms too effect me  - restless leg, arms, indigestion   -- groggy eyes all the time ... difficult to read, easily. Any help for me ?

 

 

Are you taking any supplement or anything else for help ? 

I am writing here after a long time 

[coldturkmama]

Hey everyone

i haven’t been on my update page very often but I come back to check messages and reply to those.

 

looking over the page, I’m not sure whose questions I may have missed,

so if you ask anything new I’ll try to pop in and answer them.

 

as far as what supplements I took, I just want everyone to know I tried a LOT and I also did a keto diet which I found helpful.

i think, CBD oil with NO thc after about the 4 year mark, helped me a lot.

vitamin b’s as well.

a lot of healthy fats.

finding claire Weekes and her book help and hope for yourself nerves also helped me recover significantly.

[Hellbutrin]

On 3/16/2020 at 8:42 PM, phill said:

hi hellbutrin, Im unable to send you a message, but I would like to ask you, has is your insomnia? how long did it take to improve? how long did you experience it ? how long you had it for?

thanks

Hi Phil,

 

I am still currently experiencing insomnia and issues with restless sleep. I've had it since my C/T three years ago. 

[Armorall]

@coldturkmama what do you use the CBD oil for? Is it helpful for sleep?

[coldturkmama]

23 hours ago, Armorall said:

@coldturkmama what do you use the CBD oil for? Is it helpful for sleep?

 

I didn’t try it until I was about 3.5 years in to my recovery from my cold turkey because I was scared of the affect it might have on my nervous system, but I tried it very slowly and yes, it helped my sleep so much. 

[Armorall]

Ok good to know, thanks! Do you still use it?

[Sani]

On 12/19/2019 at 5:57 PM, coldturkmama said:

Hi  

i just thought I’d pop in and give an update about how things are now.

 

i was talking with a friend the other day about what all id gone through with Paxil and I realized, I’m so far from where I was and how much I’d relied on this site as well as npanth’s articles during the very worst of everything.

i remember reading success stories and wondering if the mental anguish would ever end for me. 

 

I can say, it has and it does.

Here is my topic:

 

 

So, basically I was on Paxil for about 14-15 years. I’m 40 now and have been off Paxil for 6 years.

While I was on the drug I still had many symptoms of anxiety, gained a ton of weight and also felt like I was living a sort of half life. I wasn’t fully engaged in my life. 

 

Every time I tried getting off Paxil over the years, I’d have terrible symptoms and think that it was just me and I needed Paxil to make me “normal”...!

 

My Dr never ever told me I should taper slowly and over time; I was literally given no advice EVER.

When I was about 13 years in to taking the drug I was suddenly beset with a whole new host of symptoms and some quite strong and strange to me. I felt terrible on the inside of myself, something I couldn’t hardly explain.  I told my Dr. And he said that Paxil might be no longer working as well and so he upped me from 20mgs to 40 msg.

 

I felt a little better for a bit but still NOT good.

I decided to stop the drug cold turkey.

i had no idea of how dangerous that was or what would lie ahead. If I’d known, I would have tapered slowly.

 

At first I felt really really good, better than I had in a longgg time, but at about 6 weeks off the drug alllll hell broke loose.

 

I had all the usual symptoms, shaking, flu like symptoms , couldn’t sit still, no motivation, exhausted but major insomnia, heart racing and palpitations, so much pain In my legs, throbbing pain. A tight band around my head that felt like someone was tightening it. I had intrusive thoughts, racing thoughts, panic attacks, jolting awake from when I did sleep, bladder problems, and many more that I’m forgetting I’m sure.

Oh! Brain zaps! I had lots of those.

forgetfulness and not being able to put in to words what I wanted etc- that was also a thing. 😑 

 

i started googling why I felt like this after stopping Paxil and I found a site called Paxil progress. After that shut down I found this site.

at the time it was all I could do to lay in bed and read the stories of others and know that what I was going through would eventually get better. 

I couldn’t figure out how, or when. I prayed a lot.  I had three kids to take care of, so I managed to do what I had to do but often felt very irritated and exhausted, I didn’t know how much longer I could deal with it. 

Symptoms began breaking up in to a pattern that was called windows and waves. Sometimes a window would be super short and I’d wonder how I could feel so normal for a while only to have it all crash back down around me.

 

Sleep was such an escape when I could get it, but for 2-3 years I had terrible insomnia that lasted hours throughout the night. Those were very frustrating times.

 

I saw bigger improvements when I began sleeping better. 

Slowly the symptoms dropped off one by one.

leg pain was probably one of the first to go

 

i still didn’t know much about how to deal with anxiety and was still fighting that battle when I came across Dr. Claire Weekes book, “hope and help for your nerves”

That book was awesome and I highly recommend it and anything else you can read by her.

 

I still have occasional bladder flares (acts like a bladder infection but it isn’t actually) but other than that I don’t think I have one problem that I can say is from Paxil anymore (I don’t think??) lol

i think I am finally ready to say, I’m recovered from what Paxil put me through.

 

im still learning how best to cope with anxiety, but I’m doing a pretty good job of it with noooo drugs 😁😁😁

 

BTW when I was in the process of

trying to heal from it all, I used high quality fish oil and B12. I also used trace minerals. 

 

I wish you all well. 

Xo 😘 

Wow! What a journey it must've been for u! Such an inspiring post. However, I have a doubt... When you said that you are still dealing with anxiety, what do you mean by that? Like mental anxiety or the physical symptoms of anxiety?

[coldturkmama]

On 4/3/2020 at 4:22 AM, Sani said:

Wow! What a journey it must've been for u! Such an inspiring post. However, I have a doubt... When you said that you are still dealing with anxiety, what do you mean by that? Like mental anxiety or the physical symptoms of anxiety?

 

Doubt about what? 

I had anxiety before quitting Paxil, and even on Paxil it didn’t completely go away, then when it pooped out on me and sent me into withdrawal, the anxiety was so so severe. 

I’m way better than before Paxil. Anxiety doesn’t just go away until you learn how to cope with it and accept it bring there. I’m much more aware of how to do that  

On 4/3/2020 at 1:55 AM, Armorall said:

Ok good to know, thanks! Do you still use it?

 

No, very rarely 

[Armorall]

Oh right, your sleep finally resolved itself on its own and you stopped using the CBD oil! I'm glad the CBD didn't actually hamper you from healing more! That's a big concern on using it!

[coldturkmama]

3 hours ago, Armorall said:

Oh right, your sleep finally resolved itself on its own and you stopped using the CBD oil! I'm glad the CBD didn't actually hamper you from healing more! That's a big concern on using it!

 

I swear that’s what helped and now I domt

need it  yayyy

[Armorall]

Whoa... you think the CBD oil actually aided you in getting your sleep back???? I must try it if that's the case!

[Sani]

14 hours ago, coldturkmama said:

 

Doubt about what? 

I had anxiety before quitting Paxil, and even on Paxil it didn’t completely go away, then when it pooped out on me and sent me into withdrawal, the anxiety was so so severe. 

I’m way better than before Paxil. Anxiety doesn’t just go away until you learn how to cope with it and accept it bring there. I’m much more aware of how to do that  

 

No, very rarely 

I meant to ask, do u have only mental symtoms of anxiety or physical symptoms too like palpitations, sweaty palms, tightness in chest etc?