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Mia1: hope in early recovery


Mia1

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Happy 4th @Greatfulwe were pretty low key too, went to brunch and did a long nature walk. I’m happy to look up Bea81, will join the thread later today. 

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

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Love this whole quote:   “I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning how to sail my ship.” Let the fear be the guide navigating your boat. It's not the calm waters but the wildest storms tha

@Mia1  Your the best☺️   You are just months ahead of me with retraining the brain.  My guess is that some how it all ties together.  One technique can foster the next or new technique.  Some times I

@Greatful  @KittenLePurr @Surviving82 @SurreyGuy   So I’ve been doing a lot of work with anxiety and wanted to share what has worked for me. What I have found is that it really is a mat

KittenLePurr
On 7/3/2021 at 2:24 PM, Mia1 said:

@Greatful  @KittenLePurr @Surviving82 @SurreyGuy

 

So I’ve been doing a lot of work with anxiety and wanted to share what has worked for me.

What I have found is that it really is a matter of what I call focus or attention training. Anxious people give their thoughts way too much attention. So when you feel anxious it feels like a physical pull to think about these anxious thoughts. It’s quite hard in the beginning of this training to do anything but think about them. So much thinking goes into what you should do, how you can stop it, etc. But the thing is the mind will never be able to cure the anxiety because it is causing it. You must shift your focus (attention) outside the mind.

You do this by focusing on the present. There are many ways to do this but for simplicity sake it just means do not give your anxiety any attention. Focus on what is actually happening outside your mind. Focus on your breath in the beginning if you find this hard to do. If you keep doing this you are training your brain to know that not every thought you have is particularly important and to keep your focus on the present moment. By doing this you eventually eliminate your anxiety because this skill becomes second nature.

Initially it may feel like your mind is fighting you, that’s just resistance. It’s important that you accept anxious thoughts and the sensations it causes. View it as impartially as you can. If you find resistance then that’s okay, just accept the resistance. It’s just energy after all and won’t actually hurt you even though it can feel like it. As we know, whatever we resist persists!!

 I have tried many different techniques through trial and error and have found that this one truly works every time for me. I hope it can help you too. Remember, you don’t have to be perfect at it. We’re changing a habit and that usually takes time and practice.

I think the meditation piece helped me achieve this as I was able to understand what what happening in my mind so much better. I can’t emphasize enough how much a daily meditation practice can change your life. It is possible to do this and do it while in w/d. Even chemical anxiety can be greatly reduced by shifting the focus away. You just need to be a little brave and persistent. I wish everyone the best on their healing journey. I’m sending you a lot of love 💗

Thanks, @Mia1. This is what I'm going to prioritize. Even in the self-help sphere, there's so much focus on, like, training the anxious thoughts to redirect to super positive ones...and it's just not always that easy to shift negative, anxious thoughts to positive, uplifting, hopeful ones. So grateful for your shares and support ❤️

 

1990s Zoloft, Prozac and a litany of other drugs including mood stabilizers

1998 Effexor 140mg and Remeron 40mg (I think) - quit cold turkey 2006 and was fine! Oh, to be young again...

1999 Adderall 60-120mg - quit CT 2010

2004 Lorazepam 0.5mg; switched to Klonipin 2010

2010 Klonipin 1-2mg/day - decreased gradually down to 0.35mg 2016-2017; microtapered off April-July 2020

2012 Lexapro and Seraquil/Remeron - quit CT 2012 after 1 month of use

2013 Methadone - battle w/depression led me to heroin addiction; clean but back on antidepressants in 2014 :(

2014 Effexor 75mg - tapered off in 1.5 weeks by doc 2017

2017 Citalopram 20mg - started tapering Dec. 2019-March 2020; got down to 14.35 mg then paused to taper Klonipin

April 2021 - Citalopram 12.8mg

July 2021 - Citalopram 11.52mg

 

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KittenLePurr
On 7/3/2021 at 2:24 PM, Mia1 said:

@Greatful  @KittenLePurr @Surviving82 @SurreyGuy

 

So I’ve been doing a lot of work with anxiety and wanted to share what has worked for me.

What I have found is that it really is a matter of what I call focus or attention training. Anxious people give their thoughts way too much attention. So when you feel anxious it feels like a physical pull to think about these anxious thoughts. It’s quite hard in the beginning of this training to do anything but think about them. So much thinking goes into what you should do, how you can stop it, etc. But the thing is the mind will never be able to cure the anxiety because it is causing it. You must shift your focus (attention) outside the mind.

You do this by focusing on the present. There are many ways to do this but for simplicity sake it just means do not give your anxiety any attention. Focus on what is actually happening outside your mind. Focus on your breath in the beginning if you find this hard to do. If you keep doing this you are training your brain to know that not every thought you have is particularly important and to keep your focus on the present moment. By doing this you eventually eliminate your anxiety because this skill becomes second nature.

Initially it may feel like your mind is fighting you, that’s just resistance. It’s important that you accept anxious thoughts and the sensations it causes. View it as impartially as you can. If you find resistance then that’s okay, just accept the resistance. It’s just energy after all and won’t actually hurt you even though it can feel like it. As we know, whatever we resist persists!!

 I have tried many different techniques through trial and error and have found that this one truly works every time for me. I hope it can help you too. Remember, you don’t have to be perfect at it. We’re changing a habit and that usually takes time and practice.

I think the meditation piece helped me achieve this as I was able to understand what what happening in my mind so much better. I can’t emphasize enough how much a daily meditation practice can change your life. It is possible to do this and do it while in w/d. Even chemical anxiety can be greatly reduced by shifting the focus away. You just need to be a little brave and persistent. I wish everyone the best on their healing journey. I’m sending you a lot of love 💗

Thanks, @Mia1. This is what I'm going to prioritize. Even in the self-help sphere, there's so much focus on, like, training the anxious thoughts to redirect to super positive ones...and it's just not always that easy to shift negative, anxious thoughts to positive, uplifting, hopeful ones. So grateful for your shares and support ❤️

 

1990s Zoloft, Prozac and a litany of other drugs including mood stabilizers

1998 Effexor 140mg and Remeron 40mg (I think) - quit cold turkey 2006 and was fine! Oh, to be young again...

1999 Adderall 60-120mg - quit CT 2010

2004 Lorazepam 0.5mg; switched to Klonipin 2010

2010 Klonipin 1-2mg/day - decreased gradually down to 0.35mg 2016-2017; microtapered off April-July 2020

2012 Lexapro and Seraquil/Remeron - quit CT 2012 after 1 month of use

2013 Methadone - battle w/depression led me to heroin addiction; clean but back on antidepressants in 2014 :(

2014 Effexor 75mg - tapered off in 1.5 weeks by doc 2017

2017 Citalopram 20mg - started tapering Dec. 2019-March 2020; got down to 14.35 mg then paused to taper Klonipin

April 2021 - Citalopram 12.8mg

July 2021 - Citalopram 11.52mg

 

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18 minutes ago, KittenLePurr said:

Thanks, @Mia1. This is what I'm going to prioritize. Even in the self-help sphere, there's so much focus on, like, training the anxious thoughts to redirect to super positive ones...and it's just not always that easy to shift negative, anxious thoughts to positive, uplifting, hopeful ones. So grateful for your shares and support ❤️

That’s right, when we try to change “anxious” thoughts it only creates resistance and reinforces that anxiety is something we must avoid. So once you change your relationship with anxiety whether you experience it or not it no longer has a hold over you.

This actually took me some time to figure out, to be able to sit with the feelings, observe what was happening. For me it always comes back to acceptance. I’m so happy to share my experiences with you KLP 💗💪

 

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

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@Greatful @KittenLePurr

 

This is the healing meditation I was telling you guys about, it really helps to create space between you and the symptoms. It can also be used for emotional pain. I send you both healing love and energy 💗

 

 

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

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  • Mentor
Greatful

Hi @Mia1  Stopping by to see how you are doing?  

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg   5/16  5mg

 5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin L Theanine 

Lexapro 2021/01/09 4.90mg  05/09  4.75mg

 

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Hi @Greatful, I appreciate you stopping by. I’ve been in a wave since last weekend, the most intense one since stopping Amytriptyline almost three months ago. It’s funny how that works. I’m hopeful though because I’m managing my symptoms, I’m healing and I’m learning how to be unafraid. Thanks for asking 💕

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

Link to post

image.thumb.jpeg.23be5c34ef66fcc9ba1f6dfcdcf548d1.jpeg

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

Link to post
  • Mentor
Greatful

@Mia1  I am so sorry.❤️  They can be very trying.

 I have  the most confidence that you are doing exactly what you need to do to weather this storm.

You are one of the most strongest, courageous person I know.  My heart does go out to you being in pain, W/D is one of the hardest things to go through.  We will all learn and grow as we journey on. 

Sending you a boost of SISU 💪 

Hugs🤗

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg   5/16  5mg

 5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin L Theanine 

Lexapro 2021/01/09 4.90mg  05/09  4.75mg

 

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@Gratefulthanks for the kind words, much appreciated. Yes, learning and growing and focused on the journey, not the destination. 

I’m experiencing something I can only describe as neuro ocd, does that make sense to you? I’m aware of it so I can manage it but it’s intense. The SISU boost helps, thank you 🙏😊

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

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  • Mentor
Greatful

@Mia1  I have been thinking of you, how are you doing?♥️

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg   5/16  5mg

 5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin L Theanine 

Lexapro 2021/01/09 4.90mg  05/09  4.75mg

 

Link to post

Hi @Greatfulthank you for stopping by, I always appreciate your support, it means a lot to me 😊 I have been doing this guided meditation every morning and evening on healing chronic pain, it can be used for emotional or physical pain. It teaches you that when you focus on your pain you are actually practicing being in pain and reinforcing to your brain that you should think about it all the time. And then you’re essentially in a loop that keeps reinforcing each other. 

By acknowledging your pain without judgement (reaction) and accepting it you can start to shift your focus off of your pain and create new pathways in the brain to signal you are well. You break the loop. It’s honestly a lot like the work I did to overcome anxiety. Once you accept it you give yourself permission to focus on something else, you know you’ll be okay.

This is certainly a practice but I’m seeing remarkable results and wanted to share with you. I actually shared it with you already but wanted to share how it has been helping me, I’m now out of a majorly intense wave because of it!! 

How are you doing today? 

 

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

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  • Mentor
Greatful

@Mia1  Is that the meditation you posted.  Healing chronic pain.  I think I will try that tomorrow.  Today was a tough day, some d/r (i think that is what it is) very low mood, headache, anxiety.  I guess it comes and goes.  Tried to stay busy, walked, mowed the grass(rider), gassed up the car and got a car wash, picked up a few groceries ( my exposer/ response), meditated.  

 

I don't know why I started to worry about you, you have it all under control☺️  You are AMAZING♥️

 

So remind me again how long it took you to finally get some sort of handle on dealing with this nightmare. I feel like I am still  fighting the symptoms and have not truly accepted that this w/d and it could take awhile to get through.  Can you understand what I am trying to say?  It's like the encouragement you get when you first find some answers for what is going on (finding SA)  you get empowered by the knowledge and now that is waring off and you want it all to go away now.  I guess it means now the work begins😰 

 

Tomorrow is a new day. It will be a better day☺️

 

 

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg   5/16  5mg

 5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin L Theanine 

Lexapro 2021/01/09 4.90mg  05/09  4.75mg

 

Link to post
4 minutes ago, Greatful said:

Is that the meditation you posted.  Healing chronic pain.  I think I will try that tomorrow.  Today was a tough day, some d/r (i think that is what it is) very low mood, headache, anxiety.  I guess it comes and goes.  Tried to stay busy, walked, mowed the grass(rider), gassed up the car and got a car wash, picked up a few groceries ( my exposer/ response), meditated.

I’m so sorry you had a difficult day. As much as we put the work in and accept our situation, I do find that some days we just have to weather the storm as comfortably as we can. And that’s okay. Look how much you did today, it’s remarkable. And on top of that you’re doing trauma work, which just shows how strong and amazing you are!!💪

Yes, that is the meditation.

14 minutes ago, Greatful said:

I don't know why I started to worry about you, you have it all under control☺️  You are AMAZING♥️

 

Your concern means a lot to me, thank you 🙏 

 

16 minutes ago, Greatful said:

So remind me again how long it took you to finally get some sort of handle on dealing with this nightmare. I feel like I am still  fighting the symptoms and have not truly accepted that this w/d and it could take awhile to get through.  Can you understand what I am trying to say?  It's like the encouragement you get when you first find some answers for what is going on (finding SA)  you get empowered by the knowledge and now that is waring off and you want it all to go away now.  I guess it means now the work begins😰 

I know it may not feel like it right now but you actually have a good handle on this already. You understand what you need to do and you’re doing it, you are putting so much work in and you are already seeing results. But remember that healing is not linear so some days may just seem a little easier than others. And it’s natural to want to feel better, to fight it from time to time. When you’re aware of this you just have to hold onto your SISU a little tighter. 

 

23 minutes ago, Greatful said:

Tomorrow is a new day. It will be a better day☺️

 There are SO many better days ahead of you. I’m always here for you ❤️

 

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

Link to post
11 hours ago, Greatful said:

@Mia1  Is that the meditation you posted.  Healing chronic pain.  I think I will try that tomorrow.  Today was a tough day, some d/r (i think that is what it is) very low mood, headache, anxiety.  I guess it comes and goes.  Tried to stay busy, walked, mowed the grass(rider), gassed up the car and got a car wash, picked up a few groceries ( my exposer/ response), meditated.  

 

I don't know why I started to worry about you, you have it all under control☺️  You are AMAZING♥️

 

So remind me again how long it took you to finally get some sort of handle on dealing with this nightmare. I feel like I am still  fighting the symptoms and have not truly accepted that this w/d and it could take awhile to get through.  Can you understand what I am trying to say?  It's like the encouragement you get when you first find some answers for what is going on (finding SA)  you get empowered by the knowledge and now that is waring off and you want it all to go away now.  I guess it means now the work begins😰 

 

Tomorrow is a new day. It will be a better day☺️

 

 

 

 

@Greatful I’m sorry you’ve had a difficult day. I know too well what that feels like and I know what it’s like to be in a window. Your going to have a day were you doubt everything and that’s  a normal response in withdrawal. We’re here to help you through this and @Mia1your words are very true .

1995 started Paxil 20mg slowly increasing to 50mg until 2014

-2014 I decided to tapper myself not knowing how too and crashed , DR added 50mg Seraquel

-2015 tried tapering again and crashed

Seroquel Taper

2/11/16 43mg  1/09/17  37.5mg  10/03/10 36.25mg. 17/3/19 35mg 26/3/19 33.75mg  4/4/19 32.5mg  21/4/19 30mg

16/7/19 28.75mg  5/8/19 27.5mg. 19/8/19 25mg   4/8/20 23mg 18/8/20 22.5mg  12/10/20 18.25mg  10/1/21 15mg  3/8/21 UPDOSE 16mg

Paxil Taper

2/11/16 40mg 12/10/17 37mg  28/10/17 36mg  10/1/18. 35mg  24/05/18 33mg  28/8/18 31mg 16/12/18 30mg 20/10/19 29mg  17/11/19 28mg 7/1/20  27mg 12/2/20  26mg 7/3 /20 25mg  11/4/20 24mg 4/5/20 23mg  5/6/20 22mg 23/6/20 21mg 15/7/20 20mg

Untitled.rtf

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@Mia1  I just realised I hijacked your thread , sorry I have withdrawal brain🙃 and am learning how to use this site. 

1995 started Paxil 20mg slowly increasing to 50mg until 2014

-2014 I decided to tapper myself not knowing how too and crashed , DR added 50mg Seraquel

-2015 tried tapering again and crashed

Seroquel Taper

2/11/16 43mg  1/09/17  37.5mg  10/03/10 36.25mg. 17/3/19 35mg 26/3/19 33.75mg  4/4/19 32.5mg  21/4/19 30mg

16/7/19 28.75mg  5/8/19 27.5mg. 19/8/19 25mg   4/8/20 23mg 18/8/20 22.5mg  12/10/20 18.25mg  10/1/21 15mg  3/8/21 UPDOSE 16mg

Paxil Taper

2/11/16 40mg 12/10/17 37mg  28/10/17 36mg  10/1/18. 35mg  24/05/18 33mg  28/8/18 31mg 16/12/18 30mg 20/10/19 29mg  17/11/19 28mg 7/1/20  27mg 12/2/20  26mg 7/3 /20 25mg  11/4/20 24mg 4/5/20 23mg  5/6/20 22mg 23/6/20 21mg 15/7/20 20mg

Untitled.rtf

Link to post

No problem @Cheekystop by anytime 😊

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

Link to post
  • Mentor
Greatful

@Mia1  How are you doing?  I can get so wrapped up in myself that I don't encourage you more then I do.😗  I know you were in a tough wave.

 

I was thinking I should look in the mirror several times a day, it seem to get me out of my head and reminds me that I am apart of this world not just in my head.  Thinking, thinking, thinking we get to introverted.

 

I'll mention it again, I really liked that meditation on Chronic Pain. ♥️

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg   5/16  5mg

 5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin L Theanine 

Lexapro 2021/01/09 4.90mg  05/09  4.75mg

 

Link to post
KittenLePurr

I really relate, @Greatful...like I got all excited when I realized I could just accept everything and move through it and for a few days, everything was easy! Then it got hard. And I wanted it to just end already!

Yes, some days are just harder. Thanks, @Mia1. I'm sorry you've been having a tough wave. So glad you're managing well.

1990s Zoloft, Prozac and a litany of other drugs including mood stabilizers

1998 Effexor 140mg and Remeron 40mg (I think) - quit cold turkey 2006 and was fine! Oh, to be young again...

1999 Adderall 60-120mg - quit CT 2010

2004 Lorazepam 0.5mg; switched to Klonipin 2010

2010 Klonipin 1-2mg/day - decreased gradually down to 0.35mg 2016-2017; microtapered off April-July 2020

2012 Lexapro and Seraquil/Remeron - quit CT 2012 after 1 month of use

2013 Methadone - battle w/depression led me to heroin addiction; clean but back on antidepressants in 2014 :(

2014 Effexor 75mg - tapered off in 1.5 weeks by doc 2017

2017 Citalopram 20mg - started tapering Dec. 2019-March 2020; got down to 14.35 mg then paused to taper Klonipin

April 2021 - Citalopram 12.8mg

July 2021 - Citalopram 11.52mg

 

Link to post
17 hours ago, Greatful said:

@Mia1  How are you doing?  I can get so wrapped up in myself that I don't encourage you more then I do.😗  I know you were in a tough wave.

I’m doing well, still have some symptoms but mostly out of the wave now. I always appreciate your encouragement and support!!

 

17 hours ago, Greatful said:

I was thinking I should look in the mirror several times a day, it seem to get me out of my head and reminds me that I am apart of this world not just in my head.  Thinking, thinking, thinking we get to introverted.

I know what you mean, especially in w/d our brains want us to think about our situation constantly. That’s why I think mindfulness is so important, learning how to get out of our heads and into what’s actually happening in the moment. It’s a great reminder, thank you 🙏

 

17 hours ago, Greatful said:

I'll mention it again, I really liked that meditation on Chronic Pain. ♥️

 I’m SO happy you like it, it’s my absolute favorite one 💗

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

Link to post
16 hours ago, KittenLePurr said:

Yes, some days are just harder. Thanks, @Mia1. I'm sorry you've been having a tough wave. So glad you're managing well.

Yes, we have to remember that our brains are undergoing major changes right now and we will have days that the chemical effect feels overwhelming. Acceptance is truly the cornerstone to healing. 

I appreciate the support KLP 💗

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

Link to post
  • Mentor
Greatful

@Mia1could you forward that meditation to my thread.  I'm glad you are feeling better.♥️

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg   5/16  5mg

 5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin L Theanine 

Lexapro 2021/01/09 4.90mg  05/09  4.75mg

 

Link to post

Hi @Mia1

congrats I see you only have one drug to go, that’s amazing . I think your your words to everyone is beautiful, I’ve been taking on for words of wisdom myself. You really have a great outlook in this  and I can see it’s helping everyone. Keep going strong we will all make it at the end 🌈

1995 started Paxil 20mg slowly increasing to 50mg until 2014

-2014 I decided to tapper myself not knowing how too and crashed , DR added 50mg Seraquel

-2015 tried tapering again and crashed

Seroquel Taper

2/11/16 43mg  1/09/17  37.5mg  10/03/10 36.25mg. 17/3/19 35mg 26/3/19 33.75mg  4/4/19 32.5mg  21/4/19 30mg

16/7/19 28.75mg  5/8/19 27.5mg. 19/8/19 25mg   4/8/20 23mg 18/8/20 22.5mg  12/10/20 18.25mg  10/1/21 15mg  3/8/21 UPDOSE 16mg

Paxil Taper

2/11/16 40mg 12/10/17 37mg  28/10/17 36mg  10/1/18. 35mg  24/05/18 33mg  28/8/18 31mg 16/12/18 30mg 20/10/19 29mg  17/11/19 28mg 7/1/20  27mg 12/2/20  26mg 7/3 /20 25mg  11/4/20 24mg 4/5/20 23mg  5/6/20 22mg 23/6/20 21mg 15/7/20 20mg

Untitled.rtf

Link to post

Thank you for the encouragement and support @Cheekyit really means a lot to me.

Where are you on your journey, what are you tapering and how many more to go?

Yes, we certainly will all make it at the end with our strength and each other’s support ❤️🙏💪

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

Link to post
14 hours ago, Mia1 said:

Thank you for the encouragement and support @Cheekyit really means a lot to me.

Where are you on your journey, what are you tapering and how many more to go?

Yes, we certainly will all make it at the end with our strength and each other’s support ❤️🙏💪

My Journey is long 🙃 I’ve been tapering two drugs, one is Paxil and the other is Seroquel. My tapering has been okay and manageable but I think last time I did a bit too much and had a lot of things going on in my life that just pushed me over the edge.  Good news is I’ve gotten down to less then half of both. I’ve had a awful 3 weeks of strong waves but I feel like I’m getting better everyday. I’m going to give myself a taper holiday to settle my CNS down and look after myself.  

1995 started Paxil 20mg slowly increasing to 50mg until 2014

-2014 I decided to tapper myself not knowing how too and crashed , DR added 50mg Seraquel

-2015 tried tapering again and crashed

Seroquel Taper

2/11/16 43mg  1/09/17  37.5mg  10/03/10 36.25mg. 17/3/19 35mg 26/3/19 33.75mg  4/4/19 32.5mg  21/4/19 30mg

16/7/19 28.75mg  5/8/19 27.5mg. 19/8/19 25mg   4/8/20 23mg 18/8/20 22.5mg  12/10/20 18.25mg  10/1/21 15mg  3/8/21 UPDOSE 16mg

Paxil Taper

2/11/16 40mg 12/10/17 37mg  28/10/17 36mg  10/1/18. 35mg  24/05/18 33mg  28/8/18 31mg 16/12/18 30mg 20/10/19 29mg  17/11/19 28mg 7/1/20  27mg 12/2/20  26mg 7/3 /20 25mg  11/4/20 24mg 4/5/20 23mg  5/6/20 22mg 23/6/20 21mg 15/7/20 20mg

Untitled.rtf

Link to post
  • Mentor

@Cheeky You are doing awesome!! Hang in there!! Youve got this and you know it!

2010-2011 - Tramadol - Can't remember dosage

2011 - CT Quit Tramadol

2011-2019 - St Johns Wart - Started out at 3 Pills a day (300 MG) and increased to 6 per day over the years

August 2019 - CT Quit St Johns (Told by Hospital Dr to Stop Taking due to increased BP)

September 2019 - Citalopram 10mg - Approx 2 weeks - CT Quit

September 2019 - October 2019 - Clonazepam .5mg - Approx 3 weeks - CT Quit

Drug Free Since October 5th 2019

Link to post

@Cheekycongratulations on being down to HALF, that’s amazing!! It’s good you’re listening to your body and making this manageable for you, you’re an inspiration ❤️💪

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

Link to post

Thanks Mia❤️

1995 started Paxil 20mg slowly increasing to 50mg until 2014

-2014 I decided to tapper myself not knowing how too and crashed , DR added 50mg Seraquel

-2015 tried tapering again and crashed

Seroquel Taper

2/11/16 43mg  1/09/17  37.5mg  10/03/10 36.25mg. 17/3/19 35mg 26/3/19 33.75mg  4/4/19 32.5mg  21/4/19 30mg

16/7/19 28.75mg  5/8/19 27.5mg. 19/8/19 25mg   4/8/20 23mg 18/8/20 22.5mg  12/10/20 18.25mg  10/1/21 15mg  3/8/21 UPDOSE 16mg

Paxil Taper

2/11/16 40mg 12/10/17 37mg  28/10/17 36mg  10/1/18. 35mg  24/05/18 33mg  28/8/18 31mg 16/12/18 30mg 20/10/19 29mg  17/11/19 28mg 7/1/20  27mg 12/2/20  26mg 7/3 /20 25mg  11/4/20 24mg 4/5/20 23mg  5/6/20 22mg 23/6/20 21mg 15/7/20 20mg

Untitled.rtf

Link to post

Came upon this Dostoevski quote, "There is only one thing that I dread: not to be worthy of my sufferings." A great reminder that I can take what I perceive to be an unpleasant situation and make it the best teacher I have ever had. That by doing this I can transform and transcend suffering so that it no longer exists. We are all so free in this very moment.

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

Link to post

Hi lovely,

can I ask you a question. When your about to get your monthlies, does it bring on a wave. I’m due in 4 days and finding I’m skipping back into a wave.

1995 started Paxil 20mg slowly increasing to 50mg until 2014

-2014 I decided to tapper myself not knowing how too and crashed , DR added 50mg Seraquel

-2015 tried tapering again and crashed

Seroquel Taper

2/11/16 43mg  1/09/17  37.5mg  10/03/10 36.25mg. 17/3/19 35mg 26/3/19 33.75mg  4/4/19 32.5mg  21/4/19 30mg

16/7/19 28.75mg  5/8/19 27.5mg. 19/8/19 25mg   4/8/20 23mg 18/8/20 22.5mg  12/10/20 18.25mg  10/1/21 15mg  3/8/21 UPDOSE 16mg

Paxil Taper

2/11/16 40mg 12/10/17 37mg  28/10/17 36mg  10/1/18. 35mg  24/05/18 33mg  28/8/18 31mg 16/12/18 30mg 20/10/19 29mg  17/11/19 28mg 7/1/20  27mg 12/2/20  26mg 7/3 /20 25mg  11/4/20 24mg 4/5/20 23mg  5/6/20 22mg 23/6/20 21mg 15/7/20 20mg

Untitled.rtf

Link to post

@Cheekythis used to be a problem for me because the hormones intensified everything I was feeling and on top of that I would feel almost manic. It would derail me almost every month. This eventually stopped being an issue when I learned to stop reacting to it. So to give you an example right before my monthly my sleep would become even more erratic because I felt manic so I started to develop anxiety around it which only increased my symptoms and disrupted my sleep more. When I stopped making an issue of it, allowing my symptoms to be without worrying about the outcome, everything improved. 

 

So for me it always goes back to acceptance. My w/d symptoms are still intensified but by learning not to react to them they’re just symptoms that come and eventually leave. It can still feel uncomfortable but it’s nothing I suffer or dread. As a matter of fact I don’t even think about it anymore!! The more I learn to view symptoms objectively and without judgement the “easier” it becomes. It helps to create the necessary space to allow it to be there but still be able to live my life. The healing meditation I shared on this thread has helped me enormously with this if you want to give it a try.

 

I hope this has helped 💗

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

Link to post

Thank ❤️ I just wish I had your strength to keep my thoughts at bay. Would you know of a good book I could listen too. I really need something to encourage me. I never had anxiety until I played around with these drugs. It’s like it’s a chemical aniexty , if that makes sense . I’ve been listening to the “Dare response” book, but I don’t have the symptoms he talks about. I think my problem is acceptance and how to distract from my thought process while in a wave.

1995 started Paxil 20mg slowly increasing to 50mg until 2014

-2014 I decided to tapper myself not knowing how too and crashed , DR added 50mg Seraquel

-2015 tried tapering again and crashed

Seroquel Taper

2/11/16 43mg  1/09/17  37.5mg  10/03/10 36.25mg. 17/3/19 35mg 26/3/19 33.75mg  4/4/19 32.5mg  21/4/19 30mg

16/7/19 28.75mg  5/8/19 27.5mg. 19/8/19 25mg   4/8/20 23mg 18/8/20 22.5mg  12/10/20 18.25mg  10/1/21 15mg  3/8/21 UPDOSE 16mg

Paxil Taper

2/11/16 40mg 12/10/17 37mg  28/10/17 36mg  10/1/18. 35mg  24/05/18 33mg  28/8/18 31mg 16/12/18 30mg 20/10/19 29mg  17/11/19 28mg 7/1/20  27mg 12/2/20  26mg 7/3 /20 25mg  11/4/20 24mg 4/5/20 23mg  5/6/20 22mg 23/6/20 21mg 15/7/20 20mg

Untitled.rtf

Link to post

You absolutely have the strength  @Cheeky , the only difference between me and you is that I’ve been doing focused work on this for some time now. 

 

I have read several books on the topic of anxiety and the only one I found useful was Claire Weekes’ Hope and Help For Your Nerves. Even though she talks more about the physical aspects of anxiety you can use the method for thoughts too. It’s an older book, written in the 60’s but the core information is timeless. On a side note she was Australian too!!

 

I would also highly recommend reading Viktor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning. Even though it’s about his experience in a concentration camp it’s a spiritual story filled with hope and meaning. I feel it can be very inspiring and healing to read even though the subject matter can be dark at times. He shares so much wisdom to help anyone who may find themselves suffering, here’s one such insight: When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.

 

The single thing that has helped me the most is a daily meditation practice. Do you meditate?

 

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

Link to post

@Cheeky @Greatful @KittenLePurr I just read this book called A Book On Fear: Feeling Safe In A Challenging World and I highly recommend it. It’s a simple read full of profound wisdom and insight. I just happened on it yesterday, no coincidence there. Hope everyone is doing well!!

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

Link to post
  • Mentor
Greatful

@Mia1  Thank you.  Did I help you with learning how to heal  from your trauma or more with what is going on in the world right now?

 

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg   5/16  5mg

 5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin L Theanine 

Lexapro 2021/01/09 4.90mg  05/09  4.75mg

 

Link to post

It definitely helps with trauma and fear, he only mentions COVID as an example. It is a very spiritual based book. Hope that helps!!

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

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