Administrator Popular Post KenA Posted August 26, 2021 Administrator Popular Post Share Posted August 26, 2021 Hey everyone, I said that once I was healed and felt back to normal again I would write a success story and I do believe that today is finally the day for it! It was a very long journey for me personally, but I know that others have been going through it for even longer. So for those of you that are still in the thick of it, I will tell you this! Keep on going and going and going!! Never ever give up! I truly do believe that everyone heals no matter how long it takes!! For some it is shorter than others, but it's coming for all of us! You can read my intro topic and see that I really didn't find this site until I was almost 8 months in deep. I was one of those who CT quit everything because nothing was working for me and I got tired of trying different things to feel better. I was extremely fortunate to meet a wonderful lady who had survived the process and she reached out to me. She was able to encourage me daily to keep going and helped me to get through the very worst of days! I was so lucky because most people do not have that support system, but it was a life saver. Some things that I learned while going through this process: 1. Stay as positive as you possibly can! I know it's hard, believe me. There were so many days I just wanted to get in a funk and stay there, but I knew how dangerous that was. If you let yourself always see the bad in things, then eventually that is all you will see! Take what is happening to you and turn it around. Find something positive in your day. When I was having the worst of symptoms, instead of feeling bad about it and moping about it, I would turn it around and tell myself that I was having a good strong day of healing! The harder the symptoms, the more healing that was taking place. I made it a positive thing!! 2. Acceptance!!! I know this one is hard!! It was for me and took me a very very long time to learn it, but once I did it made a world of difference for me. The symptoms no longer had the power over me that they once had. Yeah they were still there, but I would just acknowledge them and then move on. There was nothing I could do about them, so I just let them happen. Besides it just meant that I was doing some more healing. The sooner you can learn how to accept the process the easier the process becomes. 3. Time!!! Unfortunately in my experience I found that there are no shortcuts in this process. There is no magic pill or drug that I could take that was gonna heal me any faster. I had to be patient and wait for my brain and CNS to heal! There was no way to speed up the process or make it any easier. I just had to get through it! That was it. Time time and more time!! Each day you go through is one day closer to your ultimate healing so don't give up!! 4. Distract!!! Find something anything that you can use to distract yourself and make the time go by. For me it was long walks, paint by numbers, etchings, diamond dots, models, board games with my children!! Just anything to pass the time! The more I was able to distract myself, the more healing that was taking place without me worrying about it! When you sit around all day and don't engage your mind, it has nothing to do but ruminate on what you are thinking or experiencing. Distract!! 5. Keep track of the good days! I experienced the normal waves and windows pattern that is normal for a lot of people. I would keep a journal daily where I would write down what I was thinking, how things were going. And for me most importantly, when I was feeling good in a window, I would write about it in the journal. I would write notes to myself reminding myself that I could feel good again and that I would feel good again. That way on the hard days I could go back and see what I had written to myself to know that I was gonna be ok. And that's honestly about it! That's what worked for me! Just remember that what you are going through is temporary!! This is not the rest of your life. One day you will be healed and able to move forward with life and enjoy the days. This whole process has made me such a strong and more resilient person. Little things in life no longer really bother me and I have found I have so much more patience and understanding than I ever did before. As much as this whole thing sucked, it has made me a better person!! Just remember to keep going and going for as long as this takes!! You've got this and you know it! I will be sticking around the forums to help others. I always told myself once I made it through this I was gonna pay it forward and help others as well. Don't hesitate to reach out if needed! Ken 29 2010-2011 - Tramadol - Can't remember dosage 2011 - CT Quit Tramadol 2011-2019 - St Johns Wart - Started out at 3 Pills a day (300 MG) and increased to 6 per day over the years August 2019 - CT Quit St Johns (Told by Hospital Dr to Stop Taking due to increased BP) September 2019 - Citalopram 10mg - Approx 2 weeks - CT Quit September 2019 - October 2019 - Clonazepam .5mg - Approx 3 weeks - CT Quit Drug Free Since October 5th 2019 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Go2zero Posted August 26, 2021 Moderator Share Posted August 26, 2021 Wow @KenA, what a great success! Congratulations! I am really touched and impressed with your positive way of dealing with withdrawal. I guess we can all learn from that! Acceptance, changing thoughts, distracting, etc. are all such good things to support our healing. I really hope the we will help others here. You would be a great help with your attitude! And I can say from experience that helping others here can be a beautiful to do! I put her a link to your introductions thread and will close that one. https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/22768-☼-kena-8-months-in-withdrawal-after-ct/ 2 1993 Anafranil (Clomipramine) for a few months. Later in 1993 Paxil for a few months 1993- 2006 No medication 2006 Effexor, Cymbalta, some Benzo’s. All for short periods. Later in 2006 Lexapro (escitalopram) 10 mg and shortly after Wellbutrin XR 150mg, against side effects Lexapro Since 2006 until end of 2015: Several times on and off Lexapro and Wellbutrin and several slight dosage changes. Mostly taken dosages: 5mg Lexapro and 150mg Wellbutrin 2016 Dosage change Lexapro from 5mg to 2,5 mg. Wellbutrin stayed om 150mg November 2016 – April 2017 Down from 2,5mg to 0,6mg Lexapro (in steps) without much problems. Wellbutrin down from 150mg to 66mg. Also without much problems. April 2017 – March 2019 Lexapro 0,6 mg April 2017 - August 2018 Wellbutrin in small steps down from 66mg in to 37,5 mg . Quite heavy WD after each step. March 2019 – May 2019 Lexapro down from 0,6 to 0,3mg then Prozac to 0,6 mg switch because severe discontinuation effects (may also have been from Wellbutrin..) Wellbutrin down from 37,5mg to 35,3mg October 2019 Seroquel 12,5 mg for 4 weeks because of extreme sleeping problems, then weaning off in 2 weeks Prozac up dosage to 1,2 mg March 2020 Wellbutrin in 2 steps down from 35,3mg to 33,3mg Extreme withdrawal effects during 8 months. Stopped tapering Wellbutrin until total off Prozac. February 2020 – November 2020 Prozac down in steps from 1,2mg to 0,57mg. Jan 2021 : Prozac down to: 0,55> 0,53>0,51mg, Feb 0,47mg , Mar 0,42mg, Apr 0,37, longer hold because of WD symptoms July 0,36 and hold again, Sept 19 0,35, Sept 26 0,34mg, Oct 3 0,33mg Long hold of 172 days until March 2022 January 20, 2022: Wellbutrin from 33,3 to 32,3mg March 22, 2022 Prozac down from 0,33mg to: 0,30mg, Apr 0,29, May 0,28, 0,27, June 0,26, 0,25, July 0,24, 0,23, 0,22, 0,21, Aug 0,20, 0,19 Sep 0,18, Oct 0,17. 0,16, 0,15, Nov 0,14 Jan 2023 0,13, 0,12, 0,11 Feb 0,10, 0,09 Mar 0,08 , June 0,07 , July 0,06, 0,05, Aug 0,04, 0,03, Sept 0,026, 0,024 Nov 0,022, 0,019, 0,016, 0,013 Dec 0,012, 0,011, 0,010, 0,009 Jan 2024 0,008, 0,007, 0,006, 0,005, 0,004, 0,003, 0,002, 0,001, Feb 0,0007. 0,0005, 0,0003, 0,0001, Feb 23, 2024: 0,00000 Wellbutrin resume tapering: Apr 2024 31,6mg, 30,8, 30 Supplements: Fish Oil (3000mg), Magnesium 100 mg, 2 drops of Lavender Oil, only when feeling extreme anxiety. 50mg of L-Theanine only when severe discontinuation effects caused by Wellbutrin Please note this is NOT a medical advice. Discuss all your medical issues with a doctor who understands psychical drugs and really knows how to withdraw from them. I wish that you will find one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoenixmama Posted August 26, 2021 Share Posted August 26, 2021 @KenA thank you 🙏🏼 🥳🥳🥳🥳 1 2021: started celexa 10mg feb 2nd feb 25th took my last 10g; feb 26th 5mg; feb 27th 5mg; feb 28th 2021 cold turkey currently taking mag Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mia1 Posted August 26, 2021 Share Posted August 26, 2021 @KenAWhat a wonderful success story, I’m so happy for you!! 🎉 1 Completely drug free 11/26/22 🎉 Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” - Victor Frankl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benesh Posted August 27, 2021 Share Posted August 27, 2021 Ken..heart warming,hopeful and very appreciated. Thanks for your success story and taking the time to fill us in. 1 Various antidepressants since 1995.Prozac,paxil,lexapro, Wellbutrin. 2004-2021 lexapro 10 mg 2009 added drug Wellbutrin 150mg, 2016 bupropian300 mg XL 2019 start taper June bupropion 300 mg. Now resuming micro dose taper.2.3% reduction. At 51.8 mg.Hope to increase reduction. 2021 January 29 liquid lexapro done by compound pharmacist. 2021 February 4 began lexapro taper 2022 April 7 start 10 mg fluoxetine as bridge. hyperbolic taper. Liquid lexapro 6.60, holding. 2022 April 27 dropped to 5 mg fluoxetine holding. held all taper from March 2023- January 2024 working with mark Horowitz, a taper coach, and doing acupuncture and chiropractic work. SUPPLEMENTS- Vit d3, B-12, Magnesium 200 mg, Ashwagandha 475mg, lithium oratate 5 mg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mentor Greatful Posted August 27, 2021 Mentor Share Posted August 27, 2021 @KenA Congratulations ken, you are an inspiration to us all. 1 https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/ 1995? Prozac, tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015 Kindled Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify Pristiq, Wellbutrin-- 2016 ended back on Prozac and Lamictal 200mg 5/2020 thru 12/2020 taper from 20mg Prozac down to 3mg. Crashed 12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct 1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct 2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg. Became hypo manic 2/1 6ct Trazodone 50mg 4/25 25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg. 2/24 100mg 4/9 75mg 4/21 37.5 2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr 3/3 100mg 3/17 150mg side effects ct 4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg 4/14 7.5mg 4/30 10mg 5/10 7.5mg 2021/ 5/16 5mg Lexapro 37.5 Lamictal 25mg trazadone, xanax .0625mg 3x a day Lexapro Taper> Sept/01/2021 4.90mg> Sept/25 4.75mg> Oct/19 4.69mg > Nov/14 4.2mg Jan/30/2022-- Split dosing 2x a day All liquid 4.2mg (2.20mg at 8am & 2mg at 4pm) 2/17 4mg> 2/24 3.8mg slow taper to Aug/12/2022 2.04mg 2023> 2mg, 1.90mg, 1.80mg, 1.70mg, 1.5mg, 1.4mg, 1.3mg 1.2mg, 1.1mg, 1mg, 0.9mg, 0.8mg, 0.7mg 0.65mg, 0.6mg, 0.55mg, 0.5mg, 0.45mg, 0.4mg, 0.35mg, 0.3mg, 0.25,mg, back to once a day dosing 0 .1mg, 0.07mg , 0.05mg 4/1/2024 0 Lamictal taper 4/17/ 2022 25mg, 9/9/ 22 -20mg, 9/25/22- 15mg , 10/20/22- 0 Trazodone..2023.>down to 14mg, 7mg, 6mg July 2023 0 Xanax 0.0625 3 x a day, 2023> 0.042 3x a day Supplements Magnesium glycinate, Omega 3, D3, vitamin c , zinc, NAC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mentor Moonpie Posted August 27, 2021 Mentor Share Posted August 27, 2021 Rejoicing with you! You are such an inspiration! Thank you for caring about others and wanting to help! 1 .025 Xanax 3 x daily Start date 10-13-2013 through 8-13-2014. Started tapering 6-2014 to 8-2014. Some small discomfort. 25 mg Zoloft - Start date 5-1-2014. 50mg. 6-2014. through 7-14-2014 . Started tapering 7-14-2014, stopped tapering 10-2014. I did 1/4 of the dose a month. small discomfort. These next 3 were prescribed when I made some seriously bad choices with my thyroid medication. Was in ER twice for possible heart attack. INTENSE anxiety, panic, fear. Lost 30 pounds in 2 weeks. Thyroid levels bounced to extremes for 8 months. Dr. prescribed Zoloft 50mg 9-2105. After 2 doses had a bad reaction passed out in my bedroom. Also prescribed Xanax .025 at the same time. 3 times daily, 4 if needed. Was only on it about 2 weeks. Was not working. Trip ER they gave me an Ativan IV and it worked and lasted. switched to Ativan. 9-24-2016. 1.5 mg Ativan - .5 mg three x daily -start date 9/24/16. Attempted taper start 12-16-2016. Was shaving Pills and alternating tapering AM, PM and midday dose weekly. Buspar .5mg -2.5mg. am and 2. 5mg. pm start date 9-26-2016 . Lexapro .10mg start date - 10-26-2016. Found SA and began 10/14/2017 tapering .001 by weight of pill every 4 days Held longer if there were was WD. Was very sensitive to Ativan. 3-15-2018 Off midday dose - 7-16-2018 Off PM dose - OFF ATIVAN! 11-17-2018 10 mg. Lexapro. PM - 5 mg start date 10/11/2016 increased to 10 mg 2/2/17. 1-1-2019 Began tapering Lexapro. .001 gm every 4 days. Held longer if there was WD. Last doses some I held a month. OFF LEXAPRO! 2-21 2021 5 mg. Buspar divided into two, 2.5 mg doses AM and PM- Start date 9/26/2016 Cold turkey on Dr. direction, AM and Pm doses. Reinstated 9-22-16. Began Buspar taper 1-29-23, .001 mg by weight of pills. N.P. Desiccated Thyroid. 1-2023 Labs okay but not where I feel best. 60 mg. daily now but adding 15 mg. more twice weekly for a few months then check. Bioidentical hormones. Bi-est/Prog cream, 1/4 tsp. 1 time daily My intro: Moonpie:. Need help and supporting tapering off of Ativan My benzo thread: Moonpie: Need help Ativan weight tapering Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jutland86 Posted August 27, 2021 Share Posted August 27, 2021 @KenA Congratulations! What a wonderful success story. I'm really happy for you. Hope that you will stick around 1 2010/2011-?: Citaloprapm 40mg, 30 and 20 mg, and 10 mg the last couple of years. Beginning may 2021: After advice from GP skipped doses (10 mg) Mid may 2021: Went to 10 mg on one day and 5 the other day due to withdrawal End may 2021: ~7,5 mg (Started cutting 10 mg in quarters to keep track of when to take what) Beginning of june 2021: 7,5 mg (started on homemade liquid) 2021: Jul 7,5 mg 2022: 26th july 7,25 mg, 26th aug 6,75 mg, 24th sep 6,5 mg, 30th oct 6,25 mg Suppl AM: Fish oil, NAC, Vit B Complex, multivitamin, vit D, ashwagandha Suppl PM: Magnesium 200 mg, L-theanine 400 mg https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24975-jutland86-advice-for-a-guy-from-denmark-wanting-to-taper/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fromthenetherlands Posted August 27, 2021 Share Posted August 27, 2021 Hi @KenA, Congrats! Did you have cognitive issues and how did the improvement go? 2 Citalopram augustus 2020 - 20 mg untill 14 february 2021 quit cold turkey. No alcohol use or other medicine. No surgery. Only adviced supplements and little bit of vitamine D because of defficieny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woody1981 Posted August 28, 2021 Share Posted August 28, 2021 Congrats Ken, So happy you are recovered and enjoying life again. Thanks also for the support mate, your a bloody legend. 🤙🏼 1 2009 - Paxil 20mg for GAD, OCD 2010 - straight swap to lexapro 10-20mg 2017 - straight swap to Prozac 20mg adverse reaction - developed tinnitus, insomnia, OCD, GAD symptoms, Reinstated lexapro 10mg symptoms improve. Slight tinnitus remains. Jan 2019 - Attempted “slower” taper for 3 months, med free for 11 weeks and felt ok. June 2019 - WD symptoms struck. Reinstated Lexapro 10mg Immediate adverse reaction July 2019-July 2020 multiple meds from psychiatrist inc: Diazepam 5mg for 12 weeks, lexapro up to 40mg for 12 weeks (tinnitus worsens, seizure type symptoms, intrusive thoughts etc) Effexor up to 150mg for 7-8 weeks, Zoloft up to 100mg for 12 weeks, Remeron 6 weeks, Paxil to 20mg for 12 weeks Quick taper CT Paxil in 4 weeks and drug free since July 19, 2020. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hernamoeg Posted August 29, 2021 Share Posted August 29, 2021 Congratulations, Ken, and thank you very much for sharing your success story. It is such an inspirational one! I am so happy for you, you must be very proud of your achievement. I have taken notes of your advice so that I can read them whenever I need it -most of the time now as I am so scary and just starting this long way home-. You are so generous wanting to help and offering to be there for other people like you, like us who are struggling or, in my case, who is lost and on my very first steps, trying to learn it all, reading, looking for information, browsing through the topics, getting used to the site, devoting all the time (the few moments) I get left to this urgent, most important task. If only I could follow your path and example! Every word that speaks of hope and encouragement comes as a blessing, I find myself craving for them as nobody round me believes in my recovery. They take me for a lost case as I have been suffering for so long (since I was twelve, 55 now!!!). Without the support you and others provide I think I would not even try. Convincing myself of the possibility of change, of getting better after all these years of suffering and medication is not that easy when everything and everyone seem to be playing against you! I will read your introduction and follow your posts as long as you continue writing. Thank you again, thank you so much, your generosity speak wonders of you, I am sure life will reward you for it and your effort. My best wishes and congratulations again!😇😘 1 1979- ?: Tricyclic antidepressants and diazepam (can't remember which, quantity and the years I was on them. Too young). Major - severe- "endogenous" depression. 1995-2021: Fluoxetine (80 mg first after many years experiencing bulimia following anorexia nervosa; 60 mg daily now when the first subsided -since 2000-). Added venlaxafine and took it along with the fluoxetine for many years, too. Sorry I can't be more precise. During a shorter period of time added also trazodone. 1995-2021: On and off various other drugs: Hypnotics (Rohipnol) and benzos: triazolam, diazepam, lorazepam, bromazepam, clonazepam, alprazolam. 2010-2021: Alprazolam (starting off with 0.25 mg daily; now 3 mg daily). The most effective one. 2017-2021: Added Clonazepam (now 6 mg daily). July 2021: Added Mirtazapine ( now 15 mg daily). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnKross Posted August 29, 2021 Share Posted August 29, 2021 Wow amazing Post !! Thanks for sharing Ken. All the best for you 1 2015-2017 Zoloft (gradually increased the dosage, don't remember the dosage though) 2017-2019 Effexor+Wellbutrin (125 mg Effexore + 150 mg Wellbutrin) 2019 Stopped all the medications and had PSSD (everything else is fine) Currently taking only Fish Oil Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaryMoo429 Posted August 29, 2021 Share Posted August 29, 2021 @KenA Congratulations and thanks for sharing your success story it was great to read. 1 Prozac: 20-40mg from 2006-2019. Zoloft: 2003-2005 off and on. Adderall XR: 20-50mg (abused so took more than prescribed often) 2006-2016. Amphetamine Salts 2006-2016 10-20mg (abused). Ativan: 2009-2010 1mg. Suboxone 16mg sublingual strips 2013-2016. Vyvanse: mg? (abused) 2014-2015. Alprazolam: December 2018- June 2019 1-2mg (abused). Diazepam: June 2019-November 2019 mg? (used to taper me off of Xanax). Lexapro: 2018-September 2020 10-20mg. Mitrazapine 30mg: Nov 2019-May 2020 (tapered off over 3 months) Trintillex: May 2019-December 2019 (mg?). Hormonal birth control 2003-2019. Lexapro: 11/30/21- 12/2/21 - .5mg; 12/11/21 - 12/12/21 - 2.5mg Ativan: 12/11/21 - .5mg; 12/12/21 - .25mg supplements (current): Morning: 400mg L-Theanine, 375mg magnesium. Night: 450mg Valerian Root, 2.5mg Melatonin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrator KenA Posted August 30, 2021 Author Administrator Share Posted August 30, 2021 On 8/27/2021 at 4:24 AM, Fromthenetherlands said: Hi @KenA, Congrats! Did you have cognitive issues and how did the improvement go? I did have some cognitive issues early on, but they had pretty much all resolved by the 1 year mark. It just took time for them to all resolve, but I'm happy to say they are all gone at this point 1 2010-2011 - Tramadol - Can't remember dosage 2011 - CT Quit Tramadol 2011-2019 - St Johns Wart - Started out at 3 Pills a day (300 MG) and increased to 6 per day over the years August 2019 - CT Quit St Johns (Told by Hospital Dr to Stop Taking due to increased BP) September 2019 - Citalopram 10mg - Approx 2 weeks - CT Quit September 2019 - October 2019 - Clonazepam .5mg - Approx 3 weeks - CT Quit Drug Free Since October 5th 2019 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrator KenA Posted August 30, 2021 Author Administrator Share Posted August 30, 2021 On 8/29/2021 at 1:40 AM, Hernamoeg said: Congratulations, Ken, and thank you very much for sharing your success story. It is such an inspirational one! I am so happy for you, you must be very proud of your achievement. I have taken notes of your advice so that I can read them whenever I need it -most of the time now as I am so scary and just starting this long way home-. You are so generous wanting to help and offering to be there for other people like you, like us who are struggling or, in my case, who is lost and on my very first steps, trying to learn it all, reading, looking for information, browsing through the topics, getting used to the site, devoting all the time (the few moments) I get left to this urgent, most important task. If only I could follow your path and example! Every word that speaks of hope and encouragement comes as a blessing, I find myself craving for them as nobody round me believes in my recovery. They take me for a lost case as I have been suffering for so long (since I was twelve, 55 now!!!). Without the support you and others provide I think I would not even try. Convincing myself of the possibility of change, of getting better after all these years of suffering and medication is not that easy when everything and everyone seem to be playing against you! I will read your introduction and follow your posts as long as you continue writing. Thank you again, thank you so much, your generosity speak wonders of you, I am sure life will reward you for it and your effort. My best wishes and congratulations again!😇😘 @Hernamoeg Thank you much! It was quite the long journey but it was well worth it!! I know that you are just getting started in your journey, but it's never too late. My best advice to you is to take it slow and be gentle with yourself. This is a very trying process, but I truly do believe that everyone is capable of doing this and making it through!! 55 is never to late! Just try to stay as positive as you possibly can. I promise it helps! Try and keep living your life as best you can! I know it can be hard, but I personally kept working and doing things with my family no matter what. I refused to give up living. I did have to take it a bit easier, but that was ok. I don't know alot about tapering as I CT quit everything, but if you need any general advise or encouragement don't hesitate to reach out! Ken 1 2010-2011 - Tramadol - Can't remember dosage 2011 - CT Quit Tramadol 2011-2019 - St Johns Wart - Started out at 3 Pills a day (300 MG) and increased to 6 per day over the years August 2019 - CT Quit St Johns (Told by Hospital Dr to Stop Taking due to increased BP) September 2019 - Citalopram 10mg - Approx 2 weeks - CT Quit September 2019 - October 2019 - Clonazepam .5mg - Approx 3 weeks - CT Quit Drug Free Since October 5th 2019 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nugget97 Posted August 30, 2021 Share Posted August 30, 2021 Hey @KenA your story really inspires me. I constantly read it when I’m in a wave. Thank you for sharing it and wishing you the best. Just a quick question. I saw that you mentioned that all your mental symptoms eventually completely went, did you have withdrawal OCD? I started to develop this around month 4 when the dark intrusive thoughts started popped in and I’m just worried about it, I’m OCD about every thought I have now and my thoughts don’t seem like my own at all they can be very distressing. 1 October 26th Escitalopram/lexapro 10mg (2 days) October 28th Escitalopram/lexapro 5mg December 4th Escitalopram/lexapro 2.5mg December 21st Escitalopram/lexapro 0mg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrator KenA Posted August 31, 2021 Author Administrator Share Posted August 31, 2021 @Nugget97 Glad to hear that my story is helping to keep you inspired and going on As for your question, I had a bit of what you might call OCD, but it really wasn't that major for me. Mostly just worrying about a symptom here or there until I learned acceptance. I def can relate to those dark intrusive thoughts. I remember how horrible they were, but you have to remember that they are just thoughts. You do not have to act on them at all. If you just let them come and go, then they will lose the power over you that they have. They truly can be frightening when you have them, but just reassure yourself that they are not thoughts you would have if you were healthy, so chalk them up to just another wd symptom and know that they will all go away one day! This all is just temporary my friend and we just have to keep on going until the day we are healed!! You are doing amazing, so keep it up!! You are going to be ok!! Just keep going and going until you are healed!! You can do this and you know it! Ken 1 2010-2011 - Tramadol - Can't remember dosage 2011 - CT Quit Tramadol 2011-2019 - St Johns Wart - Started out at 3 Pills a day (300 MG) and increased to 6 per day over the years August 2019 - CT Quit St Johns (Told by Hospital Dr to Stop Taking due to increased BP) September 2019 - Citalopram 10mg - Approx 2 weeks - CT Quit September 2019 - October 2019 - Clonazepam .5mg - Approx 3 weeks - CT Quit Drug Free Since October 5th 2019 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nugget97 Posted September 6, 2021 Share Posted September 6, 2021 On 8/31/2021 at 10:34 PM, KenA said: @Nugget97 Glad to hear that my story is helping to keep you inspired and going on As for your question, I had a bit of what you might call OCD, but it really wasn't that major for me. Mostly just worrying about a symptom here or there until I learned acceptance. I def can relate to those dark intrusive thoughts. I remember how horrible they were, but you have to remember that they are just thoughts. You do not have to act on them at all. If you just let them come and go, then they will lose the power over you that they have. They truly can be frightening when you have them, but just reassure yourself that they are not thoughts you would have if you were healthy, so chalk them up to just another wd symptom and know that they will all go away one day! This all is just temporary my friend and we just have to keep on going until the day we are healed!! You are doing amazing, so keep it up!! You are going to be ok!! Just keep going and going until you are healed!! You can do this and you know it! Ken Hi @KenA thank you so much for your reply and your reassurance. I really appreciate it. The thoughts and the OCD surrounding these thoughts is hard to deal with but I’m surviving. Did yours pop up from the beginning or did you develop them a couple of months into withdrawal? I never had mine from the beginning it was around month 5 just as I was getting better and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel that they started to creep in slowly. Now it’s like they have nearly taken over me. If I didn’t have them I know I’d be 90% healed because the thoughts cause me to have physical anxiety and crying spells which is the worst. It’s all just mental for me now. October 26th Escitalopram/lexapro 10mg (2 days) October 28th Escitalopram/lexapro 5mg December 4th Escitalopram/lexapro 2.5mg December 21st Escitalopram/lexapro 0mg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrator KenA Posted September 7, 2021 Author Administrator Share Posted September 7, 2021 @Nugget97Of course my friend! I know how hard those runaway mental thoughts can be. They can get to be overwhelming at times for sure. For me, they really didn't develop until later on. The first 6 months or so were mostly a lot of physical problems with just it being hard to concentrate and some memory issues. The emotional and other mental stuff didn't start for me till probably around 6-7 months. That's when the really hard stuff started. The anxiety and depression and the dark thoughts really hit me hard at that time and lasted a good 6-7 more months before those really started to fade away. Just remember this is all temporary my friend. It will come and go, but eventually it will go away for good. Till then just take it one day at a time and remember that you are healing!! These symptoms are a side effect of our healing brains! You've got this! 2 2010-2011 - Tramadol - Can't remember dosage 2011 - CT Quit Tramadol 2011-2019 - St Johns Wart - Started out at 3 Pills a day (300 MG) and increased to 6 per day over the years August 2019 - CT Quit St Johns (Told by Hospital Dr to Stop Taking due to increased BP) September 2019 - Citalopram 10mg - Approx 2 weeks - CT Quit September 2019 - October 2019 - Clonazepam .5mg - Approx 3 weeks - CT Quit Drug Free Since October 5th 2019 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nugget97 Posted September 7, 2021 Share Posted September 7, 2021 2 hours ago, KenA said: @Nugget97Of course my friend! I know how hard those runaway mental thoughts can be. They can get to be overwhelming at times for sure. For me, they really didn't develop until later on. The first 6 months or so were mostly a lot of physical problems with just it being hard to concentrate and some memory issues. The emotional and other mental stuff didn't start for me till probably around 6-7 months. That's when the really hard stuff started. The anxiety and depression and the dark thoughts really hit me hard at that time and lasted a good 6-7 more months before those really started to fade away. Just remember this is all temporary my friend. It will come and go, but eventually it will go away for good. Till then just take it one day at a time and remember that you are healing!! These symptoms are a side effect of our healing brains! You've got this! You have no idea how reassuring this is to hear!! I was always an overthinker so I’m constantly like maybe my overthinking has just developed into this and this is just me, not withdrawal. It is sometimes so hard to not think about the fact that this is just me now but you have given me so much hope! And of course it is withdrawal I was never even remotely like this before! I even find myself avoiding certain movies or things to avoid being triggered and my mind to start going crazy! Like you it was mostly physical stuff at the beginning as well as crying spells. But since month 6/7 the mental symptoms have completely taken over. It’s now been 2 and a half months of this. Your success story is one of my favourites and I keep reading it over and over again. I can’t wait to get back to my old self. Thank you so much again! 1 October 26th Escitalopram/lexapro 10mg (2 days) October 28th Escitalopram/lexapro 5mg December 4th Escitalopram/lexapro 2.5mg December 21st Escitalopram/lexapro 0mg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Becky67 Posted September 7, 2021 Share Posted September 7, 2021 Congrats!!! and Thank you. My prayer is soon to be added my success story.💙 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrator KenA Posted September 13, 2021 Author Administrator Share Posted September 13, 2021 3 2010-2011 - Tramadol - Can't remember dosage 2011 - CT Quit Tramadol 2011-2019 - St Johns Wart - Started out at 3 Pills a day (300 MG) and increased to 6 per day over the years August 2019 - CT Quit St Johns (Told by Hospital Dr to Stop Taking due to increased BP) September 2019 - Citalopram 10mg - Approx 2 weeks - CT Quit September 2019 - October 2019 - Clonazepam .5mg - Approx 3 weeks - CT Quit Drug Free Since October 5th 2019 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mentor Moonpie Posted September 13, 2021 Mentor Share Posted September 13, 2021 Love it!! 1 .025 Xanax 3 x daily Start date 10-13-2013 through 8-13-2014. Started tapering 6-2014 to 8-2014. Some small discomfort. 25 mg Zoloft - Start date 5-1-2014. 50mg. 6-2014. through 7-14-2014 . Started tapering 7-14-2014, stopped tapering 10-2014. I did 1/4 of the dose a month. small discomfort. These next 3 were prescribed when I made some seriously bad choices with my thyroid medication. Was in ER twice for possible heart attack. INTENSE anxiety, panic, fear. Lost 30 pounds in 2 weeks. Thyroid levels bounced to extremes for 8 months. Dr. prescribed Zoloft 50mg 9-2105. After 2 doses had a bad reaction passed out in my bedroom. Also prescribed Xanax .025 at the same time. 3 times daily, 4 if needed. Was only on it about 2 weeks. Was not working. Trip ER they gave me an Ativan IV and it worked and lasted. switched to Ativan. 9-24-2016. 1.5 mg Ativan - .5 mg three x daily -start date 9/24/16. Attempted taper start 12-16-2016. Was shaving Pills and alternating tapering AM, PM and midday dose weekly. Buspar .5mg -2.5mg. am and 2. 5mg. pm start date 9-26-2016 . Lexapro .10mg start date - 10-26-2016. Found SA and began 10/14/2017 tapering .001 by weight of pill every 4 days Held longer if there were was WD. Was very sensitive to Ativan. 3-15-2018 Off midday dose - 7-16-2018 Off PM dose - OFF ATIVAN! 11-17-2018 10 mg. Lexapro. PM - 5 mg start date 10/11/2016 increased to 10 mg 2/2/17. 1-1-2019 Began tapering Lexapro. .001 gm every 4 days. Held longer if there was WD. Last doses some I held a month. OFF LEXAPRO! 2-21 2021 5 mg. Buspar divided into two, 2.5 mg doses AM and PM- Start date 9/26/2016 Cold turkey on Dr. direction, AM and Pm doses. Reinstated 9-22-16. Began Buspar taper 1-29-23, .001 mg by weight of pills. N.P. Desiccated Thyroid. 1-2023 Labs okay but not where I feel best. 60 mg. daily now but adding 15 mg. more twice weekly for a few months then check. Bioidentical hormones. Bi-est/Prog cream, 1/4 tsp. 1 time daily My intro: Moonpie:. Need help and supporting tapering off of Ativan My benzo thread: Moonpie: Need help Ativan weight tapering Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrator KenA Posted September 17, 2021 Author Administrator Share Posted September 17, 2021 4 2010-2011 - Tramadol - Can't remember dosage 2011 - CT Quit Tramadol 2011-2019 - St Johns Wart - Started out at 3 Pills a day (300 MG) and increased to 6 per day over the years August 2019 - CT Quit St Johns (Told by Hospital Dr to Stop Taking due to increased BP) September 2019 - Citalopram 10mg - Approx 2 weeks - CT Quit September 2019 - October 2019 - Clonazepam .5mg - Approx 3 weeks - CT Quit Drug Free Since October 5th 2019 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mentor Moonpie Posted September 18, 2021 Mentor Share Posted September 18, 2021 Lol so true! .025 Xanax 3 x daily Start date 10-13-2013 through 8-13-2014. Started tapering 6-2014 to 8-2014. Some small discomfort. 25 mg Zoloft - Start date 5-1-2014. 50mg. 6-2014. through 7-14-2014 . Started tapering 7-14-2014, stopped tapering 10-2014. I did 1/4 of the dose a month. small discomfort. These next 3 were prescribed when I made some seriously bad choices with my thyroid medication. Was in ER twice for possible heart attack. INTENSE anxiety, panic, fear. Lost 30 pounds in 2 weeks. Thyroid levels bounced to extremes for 8 months. Dr. prescribed Zoloft 50mg 9-2105. After 2 doses had a bad reaction passed out in my bedroom. Also prescribed Xanax .025 at the same time. 3 times daily, 4 if needed. Was only on it about 2 weeks. Was not working. Trip ER they gave me an Ativan IV and it worked and lasted. switched to Ativan. 9-24-2016. 1.5 mg Ativan - .5 mg three x daily -start date 9/24/16. Attempted taper start 12-16-2016. Was shaving Pills and alternating tapering AM, PM and midday dose weekly. Buspar .5mg -2.5mg. am and 2. 5mg. pm start date 9-26-2016 . Lexapro .10mg start date - 10-26-2016. Found SA and began 10/14/2017 tapering .001 by weight of pill every 4 days Held longer if there were was WD. Was very sensitive to Ativan. 3-15-2018 Off midday dose - 7-16-2018 Off PM dose - OFF ATIVAN! 11-17-2018 10 mg. Lexapro. PM - 5 mg start date 10/11/2016 increased to 10 mg 2/2/17. 1-1-2019 Began tapering Lexapro. .001 gm every 4 days. Held longer if there was WD. Last doses some I held a month. OFF LEXAPRO! 2-21 2021 5 mg. Buspar divided into two, 2.5 mg doses AM and PM- Start date 9/26/2016 Cold turkey on Dr. direction, AM and Pm doses. Reinstated 9-22-16. Began Buspar taper 1-29-23, .001 mg by weight of pills. N.P. Desiccated Thyroid. 1-2023 Labs okay but not where I feel best. 60 mg. daily now but adding 15 mg. more twice weekly for a few months then check. Bioidentical hormones. Bi-est/Prog cream, 1/4 tsp. 1 time daily My intro: Moonpie:. Need help and supporting tapering off of Ativan My benzo thread: Moonpie: Need help Ativan weight tapering Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kate2301 Posted October 7, 2021 Share Posted October 7, 2021 Ken, thank you for taking the time to come back and help us all but posting your positive words! I read your story over and over again, I have it saved in my phone and when I hit a wave (like now) I go to it, it’s almost like a comfort blanket! I’m 3 months off and was gradually doing better and better with a strange feeling in the afternoons, hard to explain but just felt weird yesterday however I woke at 4am with a racing mind and heart pumping so fast, felt like it all day yesterday and didn’t sleep again last night because of it, I wondered if you ever had a set back like this that you got over and felt better? I’ve read that the bad waves can be the majority of healing but would love to hear if you had this and if you felt more healed afterwards? I’m struggling today it’s knocked me back after slowly feeling like I was improving 😢 Sertraline 100mg (1 day) then 50mg for 8 weeks March 2020 - May 2020 bad reaction, no medications until October 2020 mirtazapine October 2020 until 7th July 2021 didn’t realise I was in sertraline WD during this time also started natural progesterone January 2021 and started supplements to reduce cortisol and oestrogen April 2021 also Metformin as has insulation resistance not sure if to still take this currently on no medications Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrator KenA Posted October 7, 2021 Author Administrator Share Posted October 7, 2021 9 hours ago, Kate2301 said: Ken, thank you for taking the time to come back and help us all but posting your positive words! I read your story over and over again, I have it saved in my phone and when I hit a wave (like now) I go to it, it’s almost like a comfort blanket! I’m 3 months off and was gradually doing better and better with a strange feeling in the afternoons, hard to explain but just felt weird yesterday however I woke at 4am with a racing mind and heart pumping so fast, felt like it all day yesterday and didn’t sleep again last night because of it, I wondered if you ever had a set back like this that you got over and felt better? I’ve read that the bad waves can be the majority of healing but would love to hear if you had this and if you felt more healed afterwards? I’m struggling today it’s knocked me back after slowly feeling like I was improving 😢 Hey there, Im so glad that im able to help you out and my story gives you strength!! Sadly yes, there were soooooo many times that i would have long extended windows and truly would feel like I had made it. I thought this must be the end, only to get hit by a massive wave that knocked me on my butt. It would take my breath away at how strong they would be. I would think to myself wow, I thought I was almost done. But yes, once they passed I felt even better afterwards. Its like in the beginning our brains are doing lots of smaller fixes to try and stabilize us, but then it has to get to the harder fixes that can feel like we havent healed at all. But just remember we are always healing. Sadly non-linear healing is completely unpredictable and we just have to ride it out!! Just keep taking it one day at a time. When that next window comes it is gonna be sweet relief!! Youve got this for sure!! 3 2010-2011 - Tramadol - Can't remember dosage 2011 - CT Quit Tramadol 2011-2019 - St Johns Wart - Started out at 3 Pills a day (300 MG) and increased to 6 per day over the years August 2019 - CT Quit St Johns (Told by Hospital Dr to Stop Taking due to increased BP) September 2019 - Citalopram 10mg - Approx 2 weeks - CT Quit September 2019 - October 2019 - Clonazepam .5mg - Approx 3 weeks - CT Quit Drug Free Since October 5th 2019 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mentor Happy2Heal Posted October 8, 2021 Mentor Share Posted October 8, 2021 Congratulations Ken!! what a fantastic success story and what awesome advice, so clearly written and 100% based on my experience, anyway So glad you made it, and so glad you wrote about it!! If I ever have a bad day, even though I've made it to the other side myself, I will come back and read your post here. A lot of it can apply to just about any rough time in life, really. 1 PLEASE DO NOT SEND ME PRIVATE MESSAGES, thank you. pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until Sept, then acute WD hit!! reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106 Tapered off to zero by Oct. 2017 Doing very well. Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content PRESENT DAYS: Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kate2301 Posted October 8, 2021 Share Posted October 8, 2021 Thank you so much for taking the time to come back and reply to me. I often think to myself when I’m through all this will i mentally be able to come back and help others or will I be too weak to be able to talk about it, I guess you are proof that it’s possible! I really want to be able to help other people when I can! im still in the wave, woke again this morning and as soon as my eyes opened the thoughts transfixed on my situation and my mind started to go crazy, didn’t have this for 2 weeks and remember blissfully laying in bed relaxed and taking in the sounds of the birds outside my window! Can’t wait for this to go but I guess I have to view it as healing time, my body is working hard to recover right 🤔 thank you again, words like yours catapult me forward and it’s what I try harder to think about when I do wake, it sure helps! 😊 1 Sertraline 100mg (1 day) then 50mg for 8 weeks March 2020 - May 2020 bad reaction, no medications until October 2020 mirtazapine October 2020 until 7th July 2021 didn’t realise I was in sertraline WD during this time also started natural progesterone January 2021 and started supplements to reduce cortisol and oestrogen April 2021 also Metformin as has insulation resistance not sure if to still take this currently on no medications Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrator KenA Posted October 8, 2021 Author Administrator Share Posted October 8, 2021 (edited) 19 hours ago, Happy2Heal said: Congratulations Ken!! what a fantastic success story and what awesome advice, so clearly written and 100% based on my experience, anyway So glad you made it, and so glad you wrote about it!! If I ever have a bad day, even though I've made it to the other side myself, I will come back and read your post here. A lot of it can apply to just about any rough time in life, really. Thank you so much my friend!! I have found that this whole experience really did change my outlook on life!! Just staying positive and accepting everything that life throws our way can truly help us through any hard times we face!! Edited October 8, 2021 by KenA 1 2010-2011 - Tramadol - Can't remember dosage 2011 - CT Quit Tramadol 2011-2019 - St Johns Wart - Started out at 3 Pills a day (300 MG) and increased to 6 per day over the years August 2019 - CT Quit St Johns (Told by Hospital Dr to Stop Taking due to increased BP) September 2019 - Citalopram 10mg - Approx 2 weeks - CT Quit September 2019 - October 2019 - Clonazepam .5mg - Approx 3 weeks - CT Quit Drug Free Since October 5th 2019 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrator KenA Posted October 8, 2021 Author Administrator Share Posted October 8, 2021 14 hours ago, Kate2301 said: Thank you so much for taking the time to come back and reply to me. I often think to myself when I’m through all this will i mentally be able to come back and help others or will I be too weak to be able to talk about it, I guess you are proof that it’s possible! I really want to be able to help other people when I can! im still in the wave, woke again this morning and as soon as my eyes opened the thoughts transfixed on my situation and my mind started to go crazy, didn’t have this for 2 weeks and remember blissfully laying in bed relaxed and taking in the sounds of the birds outside my window! Can’t wait for this to go but I guess I have to view it as healing time, my body is working hard to recover right 🤔 thank you again, words like yours catapult me forward and it’s what I try harder to think about when I do wake, it sure helps! 😊 Of course!! That's exactly what a wave is my friend! A period of healing time!! And healing time is good!! No matter how hard it seems to be, it's a good thing. Shows we are always getting better and better and your brain and CNS are doing what they need to do to get you healed!!! You are gonna be just fine for sure!!! I truly do believe that everyone heals, it just takes us different amounts of time, but you are gonna be ok for sure!! Keep riding that wave until you reach the shore, and look through that beautiful window!! 1 2010-2011 - Tramadol - Can't remember dosage 2011 - CT Quit Tramadol 2011-2019 - St Johns Wart - Started out at 3 Pills a day (300 MG) and increased to 6 per day over the years August 2019 - CT Quit St Johns (Told by Hospital Dr to Stop Taking due to increased BP) September 2019 - Citalopram 10mg - Approx 2 weeks - CT Quit September 2019 - October 2019 - Clonazepam .5mg - Approx 3 weeks - CT Quit Drug Free Since October 5th 2019 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fightinghard Posted October 11, 2021 Share Posted October 11, 2021 @KenAHello My Friend! It’s great to see this! I’m happy for you! I’ve been away from this forum for awhile trying to get myself back on track after my major set back with melatonin. I’m still struggling but slowly improving. It’s been a battle. This site became very triggering to me but now it’s better. Not sure why what was triggering. Anyway, I’m very happy for you. I’m hoping and praying that I’ll be on my way soon not too far behind! 1 2003-2006- Zoloft then Wellbutrin, Ritalin, concerta , Adderall. Don’t remember dosage, tapers or timeframes. ADD treatment. I think I had some WD? Definitely PSSD which resolved over time. Zoloft 100 MG April18-april 22, 2020 Buspirone 20 mg from April 18-May 18 10 mg from May 18 - May 27 2020 Lexapro 5 mg from April 22 through May 1st 10 mg from May 1 through June 1 5 mg from June 1 though june 18 2.5 mg from June 18 through June 25 1.25 mg from June 25 through July 4 2020 Ambien - 2.5 mg April 21 and 26 2020 Trazodone 50 mg- 3 times late April and 4 days the first week in June 2020 Supplements: Melatonin .23 mg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrator KenA Posted October 11, 2021 Author Administrator Share Posted October 11, 2021 @Fightinghard Glad to hear that you are starting to see some improvement my friend! I know it's been a long hard journey, but you are doing amazing!! Just keep taking it one day at a time until you get there my friend!! You will get there I know it!! 1 2010-2011 - Tramadol - Can't remember dosage 2011 - CT Quit Tramadol 2011-2019 - St Johns Wart - Started out at 3 Pills a day (300 MG) and increased to 6 per day over the years August 2019 - CT Quit St Johns (Told by Hospital Dr to Stop Taking due to increased BP) September 2019 - Citalopram 10mg - Approx 2 weeks - CT Quit September 2019 - October 2019 - Clonazepam .5mg - Approx 3 weeks - CT Quit Drug Free Since October 5th 2019 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kate2301 Posted October 12, 2021 Share Posted October 12, 2021 Thank you so much KenA, your words are currently getting me through the days! I hope one day I can come back here and help people as you are! I’m now experiencing hours of good and hours where my mind suddenly goes more panicky and anxious and a few hours later I feel more relaxed again and happier, I’m finding I sleep lovely at the moment I wake feeling good and about 2 hours later I start to feel weird and panicked and overwhelmed and that lasts about 5 hours and later in the day I start to feel a bit better and can eat and relax again, would you say this is a wave and my mind healing? I always read about people having windows that last days and waves that last days or weeks but mine seems to change daily so it worries me that this is me and now WD? However I never felt anything like this before AD?! I thank you again for supporting me and all these people, I read over your words whenever I am feeling bad again! 😊 1 Sertraline 100mg (1 day) then 50mg for 8 weeks March 2020 - May 2020 bad reaction, no medications until October 2020 mirtazapine October 2020 until 7th July 2021 didn’t realise I was in sertraline WD during this time also started natural progesterone January 2021 and started supplements to reduce cortisol and oestrogen April 2021 also Metformin as has insulation resistance not sure if to still take this currently on no medications Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrator KenA Posted October 15, 2021 Author Administrator Share Posted October 15, 2021 On 10/12/2021 at 5:36 AM, Kate2301 said: Thank you so much KenA, your words are currently getting me through the days! I hope one day I can come back here and help people as you are! I’m now experiencing hours of good and hours where my mind suddenly goes more panicky and anxious and a few hours later I feel more relaxed again and happier, I’m finding I sleep lovely at the moment I wake feeling good and about 2 hours later I start to feel weird and panicked and overwhelmed and that lasts about 5 hours and later in the day I start to feel a bit better and can eat and relax again, would you say this is a wave and my mind healing? I always read about people having windows that last days and waves that last days or weeks but mine seems to change daily so it worries me that this is me and now WD? However I never felt anything like this before AD?! I thank you again for supporting me and all these people, I read over your words whenever I am feeling bad again! 😊 @Kate2301What you are describing sounds like the typical waves and windows pattern. Feeling good, then bam, the wave hits, then it passes and you feel good again. That is a good sign. Just means that your brain is working on what needs to get fixed. Eventually the pattern will settle down, where the waves and windows last longer, but the intensity levels out. In the beginning my waves and window pattern was very similar to yours, but then mine would settle down into the long windows (5-10 days), then longer waves (2-3 days) but the waves were way less intense and more annoying than anything. Just remember that none of this is really predictable. Everyone has to go through WD the way that their brain and CNS determine. Sadly there is no magic recipe or standard we can count on. I learned to honestly expect the unexpected. That way I was never disappointed when it didn't go my way. Because I would honestly think to myself sometimes "oh boy I'm gonna get a window soon" and it wouldn't happen when I wanted. I would get upset because of that, so I eventually learned to just ride it out. Once I truly started to accept things, it got a lot easier. You are gonna be ok I promise!! This process does have an end to it!! One day you will be healed and able to move through life with a confidence that you've never known!! Stay strong and take it day by day!! You've got this and you know it!! Ken 2 2010-2011 - Tramadol - Can't remember dosage 2011 - CT Quit Tramadol 2011-2019 - St Johns Wart - Started out at 3 Pills a day (300 MG) and increased to 6 per day over the years August 2019 - CT Quit St Johns (Told by Hospital Dr to Stop Taking due to increased BP) September 2019 - Citalopram 10mg - Approx 2 weeks - CT Quit September 2019 - October 2019 - Clonazepam .5mg - Approx 3 weeks - CT Quit Drug Free Since October 5th 2019 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kate2301 Posted October 15, 2021 Share Posted October 15, 2021 Thank you so much Ken, i had a bad 2 hours yesterday evening but woke feeling ok again and I’ve been out and about all day, I’m finding when I’m properly distracted I feel a lot more like myself and when I try to sit down and relax by myself it gets a hold of me. My main symptoms when in a wave is ruminating thoughts about WD? Did you have this at all? And if so did it go? It’s my worst symptom I think just worrying and thinking about WD and if il be free one day so it makes my brain feel unclear and stressed if that makes sense. I find it hard to relax and just chill out and watch tv, is that normal? I thank you again, you definitely have amazing way with words and making me and probably many others feel better 😊 Sertraline 100mg (1 day) then 50mg for 8 weeks March 2020 - May 2020 bad reaction, no medications until October 2020 mirtazapine October 2020 until 7th July 2021 didn’t realise I was in sertraline WD during this time also started natural progesterone January 2021 and started supplements to reduce cortisol and oestrogen April 2021 also Metformin as has insulation resistance not sure if to still take this currently on no medications Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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