SvenZagreb: Zoloft withdrawal please help

[SvenZagreb]

Hello!

After months/year of trying to figure out whats wrong with me, i finally bumped across this web page and now it all makes sense.

I have some questions that I would desperately like to have an answer for and I hope you can help because I feel hopeless.

Let me give my intro first. 

 

I am male, born in 87'.

 

Zoloft 50mg December 2005 - November 2006 (11 months)

When I was 18 I had severe panic attacks and experienced depersonalization. I believe this was all related to stress I was going thru at a time. Doctors of course never heard of derealization and said I was depressed and gave me Zoloft 50mg.

I can really say it helped at the time because in few months time I was feeling better. I dont remember much from that time because it was 17 years ago but I remember quitting it cold turkey after  as doctors said and I know I didnt have and big withdrawal symptoms. Only a week of brain zaps and dizziness and I was ok after that.

 

Zoloft 50mg- June 2009- December 2010  (18 months)

Few years later, when I was 22, same thing happened again. I had panic attacks,waves of depression and derealization again and doctors gave me zoloft once more. At the time I was also smoking weed so it might have induced all that anxiety.

It also helped me again in getting out of this mess. I was really at low bottom unitil I started taking those pills. I couldnt get out of the house because of anxiety, I couldnt eat, I lost 14 kilos in 3 months time. I dropped out of college... So zoloft really lifted my spirits and got me back on track. I was taking it for around a year and a half before I felt I dont need it any more and I did some sort of quick taper and went off. Believe me, no one ever told me about tapering. Doctors told me that if I feel ok, I can just stop taking it further. I remember having few withdrawal symptoms as brain zaps,dizziness,mild anxiety and concentration/cognitive problems but it all went away,one by one, in couple of months time.

But one thing persisted after all others, it was lowered libido and slighty lower concentration. It wasnt like I didnt have libido at all but it was lowered like for about 50%.

 

Drug-free (9 years)

After that, when I was 24 I started going out every weekend and started drinking a lot of alcohol, doing cocaine,generally I started having time of my life in terms of partyjing.

And it went on all the way until recently. Each weekend full of cocaine and alcohol. And adding in benzos at the end of party night to ease my cocaine crashes here and then.

In all my life I have been professional hockey player and also having a 9 to 5 job besides that.  

 

Zoloft 25/50mg - June 2019-March 2021 (20 months)

 

In January of 2019 I decided I it was enough and I needed to change my lifestyle. So I abruptly stopped all partying and dedicated myself to total training regime and eating healthy food and concentrating on work. 

And I started to feel great! I met I girl, who is my fiancee now, and fel in love for the first time since high school. I was on top of the world. 

 

But it only lasted for a couple of months. Then anxiety and depression waves started to take me over. I didnt know why that happened. I was assured that I had to feel good because now I started living a healthier drug-free life for the first time in almost a decade. I ignored it in hope it would all go away but it didnt. It was getting worse. It was probably some form of PAWS after stopping taking cocaine and alcohol every few days. But it didnt realise that at a time. 

 

Each of having those symptoms left me miserable. Also, my libido and concentration, which never returned to 100% after quitting zoloft in 2010. were even more affected.

I was at a highly responsible managerial position job, having my hockey career at its peak, having a girl I was in love with and having to pay for mortgage. So I just couldnt let myself sink to the dark again like I did in 2009. and risking loosing all of those things. And with everyday symptoms getting worse, it was evident I was getting closer to that.

 

So I decided to take zoloft once again in June 2019. I started at 25mg(splitting 50mg pills at half). And symptoms kinda went away. Also, my libido returned. Also, my concentraion returned. I was so happy. It was for first time in almost a decade my penis felt totally connected to my mind. And my mind was working brilliantly. I felt like I was a supercomputer. I could remember anything and was able to solve all the mind challenging obstacles.

But it lasted only for about month or so. After that i started having anxiety and panics again... So i lifted a dose to 50mg(whole pill) and that eased anxiety for me. I stayed on 50mg for few months when anxiety returned again.

I didnt know what to think. I said myself if I keep lifting a dose like this i might end up on 200mg in few months time and I dont want that. So maybe this pills are causing me anxiety I tought. So I cut the dose to 25mg again. And felt anxiety weaken shortly after that. Great I tought. But again in few weeks it returned, so I lifted up to 50mg again and it eased anxiety again. So I was going back and forth fluctuating between 25 and 50mg. I was generally listening to my mind and body and adjusting dose regarding to my anxiety levels. Sometimes it meant staying on single dose for months and sometimes it meant only for days or so.

 

It all lasted until November 2020 when couldnt feel benefits anymore. 

Its not just that i couldnt feel the benefits, my mental health deteriorated a lot graduately. 
I started to feel down, ruminating, no libido, hostile towards my fiance and family, aversion to work, social anxiety, low energy etc...

At that time I felt like I have to quit Zoloft but I was scared it would only make things worse. So I hanged on for a couple more months until I decided to get off it for good in March 2021.

I tapered by listening to my mind and body as I didnt know any other way.

 

So from 50mg at a time i cut to 25 for few weeks. After I felt no physical symptoms (mental symptoms were already there for some time), I missed a dose for a few days.

 

After 3 days I felt dizziness and took 25mg again. Those symptoms went away immediately. Then I was not taking for 5 days and dizziness came back. Then I took 25mg again. Symptoms went away again.

Then they came back after 7 days. I took 25mg again. After that dizziness never returned and I never took pill again.

 

So I started psychoanalitic therapy in May. At that time I didnt know all those symptoms were from withdrawal syndrome. So I drinked alcohol to give me relief and took cocaine for few times.

 

I only recently, few weeks ago, found out that all of my symptoms are from Withdrawal syndrome. After that conclusion, I never drank alcohol or took any drugs again. I know now that I have to stay away from those thing in order to have some hope in recovery.

 

So now I am in a state in which I have this symptoms:

-mood swings

-DP/DR

-high agitation which turns into anger and hostility which wont go away so quickly

-Anxiety attacks

-Extreme nostalgia (one of most common symptoms), I even feel nostalgia for yesterday! Even nothing good happened yesterday!

-Depression waves

-Low libido

-No self esteem

-Non stop overanalysing every move I make and every tought i have

-Anhedonia

-Food cravings. I gain 10 kilos in one year

-Hostility towards work, I hate going to my workplace and find no interest in job I do

-Identity loss- maybe the worst symptom of all... I really dont know how to deal with that and that produces low self esteem. 

-Feeling so low when I see others enjoying life and having interests and passions... 

- I think everyone is better then me

-oversleeping

 

It is interesting that my concentration is now way better then it was before i started taking zoloft. Even now after I quit taking it. It seems it improved permanently by taking zoloft.

 

I have NO psychical symptoms. Only mental

 

this is how i feel:

 

In 65% of time I feel , i like to call it, LOW NEUTRAL. It means I have all those symptoms from list above but they are something I can live with. It means I can work and do all the stuff I need to do. (Is this WD Normal as you call it?)

 

In 25% of time I feel extreme anxiety or depression which are overwhelming and paralyzing. Although they dont stop me from working and going about my day, those emotions are so extreme I sometimes get dhiarrea of it.

 

In 7% of time I feel good. Like I am 95% back to my normal self again.

in 3% of time I feel 100% normal and those moments are so nice and they keep me going all this time. They are my fuel. When I dont see reason to live I remember those few nice moments/days which I had.

 

Are these waves and windows which i described?

 

Right now I feel depressed for last 2 weeks. I have trouble getting out of bad and I eat a lot. In the morning its worst and gets better towards end of the day.

 

Please answer these questions for me, I feel desperate:

 

1.  Can I develop some other mental illness out of this? 

 

2. Do I have to cut alcohol out for the rest of my life? I sometimes want to drink so hard to give me a relief...

 

3. Are all of these emotions which come to me out of the blue (agitaion,anxiety,depression, feeling of no self worth etc..) something which I havent dealt with earlier in my life so they are coming back now or its just a reaction to brain healing and triggering them randomly?

 

4. Will psychotherapy help or is it just a waste of money?

5. Does this affect my genes and seamen? My fiancee and I want to have children and when I have some of my good days and libido I wonder if we can try to make baby?

 

6. Is it normal that I didn't feel alcohol?

 

7. Does it matter that I already came of Zoloft twice in my life before? I know about kindling effect and wonder if it is going to make it harder this time or should I think that my brain already knows this situation and how to repair so it will repair more easily?

 

8. Each time I have Waves, they tend to get even worse. And windows tend to get even happier. Is that normal? Why is this so?

 

9. THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION:      Should I reinstate?         I mean I didnt feel any benefits of pill (except for first few months), so would that be a good idea? Its been 7 months since I last took pill

 

10. Have my healing process started or the worst is yet to come?

 

Thank you in advance for your time. I really hope to answers to my questions. Sorry for my english, its not my first language.

I have already read this:

 

Instructions:  Withdrawal History Signature

 

Dr Joseph Glenmullen's WD Symptoms Checklist

about-reinstating-and-stabilizing-to-reduce-withdrawal-symptoms

what-is-withdrawal-syndrome

 

The only supplements which SA recommends are Magnesium and Omega-3 Fish Oil .

Tips for Tapering Zoloft 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

Edited November 9, 2021 by ChessieCat
reformatted to make post easier to read - no changes made to text

[Kiasofia]

Welcome @SvenZagreb

I'm so sorry for all you have gone through and are going through, but relieved you have found us. There are many here who can identify with what has happened to you. I wish we could say for sure when you will feel normal again, but you will. Hopefully by learning more about what you are going through and being a part of this community, you will find the strength to pull through.

I found this post helpful to understand what is going on and why healing takes time:

How Psychiatric Drugs Remodel Your Brain

 

You will not develop a mental illness from quitting Zoloft, but withdrawal symptoms can seem like mental illness and often people get new diagnosis (and drug treatment) because doctors do not understand this.

 

It is advised to cut alcohol for a good while after you are feeling well again. There are those who have recovered and then get triggered by alcohol again, so some find it safest to just avoid permanently.

 

I'm not aware that withdrawal itself effects semen, though being on the drugs does.

 

More about emotions here:

Neuro-emotions

 

The search function on this site doesn't work very well.  The best way to search this site for specific information is to use your favorite search engine. Type in survivingantidepressants.org then the symptom, treatment, supplement or information you wish to search for.

 

Reinstatement should ideally be within 3 months of quitting. At 7 months it is hard to know if it's worth it. If you do want to attempt it, try to get a hold of liquid Zoloft or learn how to make your own:

How to make a liquid from tablets or capsules

 

Only take a tiny dose, much smaller than the last dose you took. If you reinstate, I would recommend a starting dose of 1mg -- no more.  It takes about 4 days for a dose change to get to full state in the blood and a bit longer for it to register in the brain.  Your system has become sensitized and if you take too much it may be too much for your brain and can cause you to become more unstable.  If you decide you want to reinstate, you would stabilize on the reinstated  dosage, which can take several months then begin a 10% per month taper down to zero

Please let us know what you decide to do.  If you do reinstate, it's a good idea to keep daily notes on how you're doing to keep track of how the reinstatement is going. Please also keep us updated on how you're doing.  

 

When did you last use cocaine? Drink alcohol? When was the last time you took a benzo? Can you add drug name, dosage and dates/years you were taking benzos to your signature? They also cause withdrawal.

 

This is your Introduction topic, where you can ask questions and connect with other members.  We're glad you found your way here.

[SvenZagreb]

1 hour ago, Kiasofia said:

Welcome @SvenZagreb

I'm so sorry for all you have gone through and are going through, but relieved you have found us. There are many here who can identify with what has happened to you. I wish we could say for sure when you will feel normal again, but you will. Hopefully by learning more about what you are going through and being a part of this community, you will find the strength to pull through.

 

 

I found this post helpful to understand what is going on and why healing takes time:

 

How Psychiatric Drugs Remodel Your Brain

 

You will not develop a mental illness from quitting Zoloft, but withdrawal symptoms can seem like mental illness and often people get new diagnosis (and drug treatment) because doctors do not understand this.

 

It is advised to cut alcohol for a good while after you are feeling well again. There are those who have recovered and then get triggered by alcohol again, so some find it safest to just avoid permanently.

 

I'm not aware that withdrawal itself effects semen, though being on the drugs does.

 

More about emotions here:

Neuro-emotions

 

The search function on this site doesn't work very well.  The best way to search this site for specific information is to use your favorite search engine. Type in survivingantidepressants.org then the symptom, treatment, supplement or information you wish to search for.

 

Reinstatement should ideally be within 3 months of quitting. At 7 months it is hard to know if it's worth it. If you do want to attempt it, try to get a hold of liquid Zoloft or learn how to make your own:

 

 

How to make a liquid from tablets or capsules

 

Only take a tiny dose, much smaller than the last dose you took. If you reinstate, I would recommend a starting dose of 1mg -- no more.  It takes about 4 days for a dose change to get to full state in the blood and a bit longer for it to register in the brain.  Your system has become sensitized and if you take too much it may be too much for your brain and can cause you to become more unstable.  If you decide you want to reinstate, you would stabilize on the reinstated  dosage, which can take several months then begin a 10% per month taper down to zero

 

 

Please let us know what you decide to do.  If you do reinstate, it's a good idea to keep daily notes on how you're doing to keep track of how the reinstatement is going. Please also keep us updated on how you're doing.  

 

When did you last use cocaine? Drink alcohol? When was the last time you took a benzo? Can you add drug name, dosage and dates/years you were taking benzos to your signature? They also cause withdrawal.

 

This is your Introduction topic, where you can ask questions and connect with other members.  We're glad you found your way here.

Hi @Kiasofia!

I appreciate the time you took for viewing my problems.

I updated signature.

I read about making liquid AD-s but I dont know if I should reinstate. You said if I decide... well I dont know what to decide or if its a good idea. What do you think? 

I feel so greatfull for you answering some of my questions but PLEASE,PLEASE can you answer other questions I asked also?

It would mean the world to me to get all of those answers. 

 

I took cocaine,alcohol and benzos last time 3 weeks ago. But I will never do it again now that I know how harmfull that can be in withdrawal stage. I was really just looking to relax for a bit in this miserable life and went for those substances as an instant relief.

 

Thank you for your time ❤

[Kiasofia]

I'm afraid I can't tell you if you should reinstate or not. It has to be your decision, based on the information. It has risks, but if you start very low, then these risks are reduced.

 

However, the alcohol, coacaine and benzos can also be adding to your problems. Perhaps you are in withdrawal from one or more of them? Have you been feeling worse these past 3 weeks, when you haven't touched these substances, then you were feeling 4 weeks ago? Which benzo did you take and what dose? How often where you taking it? (add to signature)

 

To help get a clear picture of how severe your withdrawal is, and if reinstatement is worth considering, it is helpful if you start a daily symptoms journal that shows what withdrawal symptoms you are having, when, how intense they are and post daily updates here for a at least a week.

 

Example template:

 

6 a.m. Woke with anxiety
8 a.m. Took 2.5mg Lexapro
10 a.m. Stomach is upset
10:30 a.m. Ate breakfast
11:35 a.m. Got a headache, lasted one hour
12:35 p.m. Ate lunch
4 p.m. Feel a bit better
5 p.m. Took 2.5mg Lexapro
6 p.m. Ate dinner
9:20 p.m. Headache
10:00 p.m. Took 50mg Seroquel
10:20 p.m. Feeling dizzy
10:30 p.m. Fell asleep
2:30 a.m. Woke, took 3mg Ambien (NOT "took 1/2 tablet Ambien")
2:45 a.m. Fell asleep
4:30 a.m. Woke but got back to sleep

6 a.m. Woke with anxiety (but less than yesterday)

 

 

 

I don't know the answer to all of your questions, and often there aren't answers. But do re-post the questions that remain unanswered and hopefully someone else, can try to answer.

Edited November 10, 2021 by Kiasofia

[SvenZagreb]

Ok. Thanks for your time. 

I will not be reinstating again as I dont want to mess something up which will undo all my progress which(if) I have done already.

 

Oh yes. For 5 days after taking benzos and cocaine I felt really good. But on day 6 I started feeling worse then I did before taking them. Usually I feel irritability,brain fog,depression,low concentration and othet symptoms 5-6 days after taking them. Thats why I was taking them every weekend for years. Besides from having a good ride on cocaine...

Can that also make physical addiction and CNS imbalance altough I have been taking them only on weekends?

Benzos I took were Xanax and Diazepam and I would took as much I had to fell asleep after all night partying. Sometimes 5mg,sometimes 10mg...

 

Ok. I will start posting daily symptoms from tomorrow on.

 

These are the questions which I am still looking answers for and please,if anyone can give me an answer or an opinion, it would mean the world to me;

 

Can those mood changes, which I wrote about in my first post, be described/called as Waves and Windows?

 

 Will psychotherapy help or is it just a waste of money?

 

Does this affect my genes and seamen? My fiancee and I want to have children and when I have some of my good days and libido I wonder if we can try to make baby?

 

Does it matter that I already came of Zoloft twice in my life before? I know about kindling effect and wonder if it is going to make it harder this time or should I think that my brain already knows this situation and how to repair so it will repair more easily?

 

 

Each time I have Waves, they tend to get even worse. And windows tend to get even happier. Is that normal? Why is this so?

 

Have my healing process started or the worst is yet to come?

 

Are all of these emotions which come to me out of the blue (agitaion,anxiety,depression, feeling of no self worth etc..) something which I havent dealt with earlier in my life so they are coming back now or its just a reaction to brain healing and triggering them randomly?

 

 

 

 

 

[SvenZagreb]

Moved from:  tips-for-tapering-off-stomach-acid-blockers-or-ppis-esomeprazole-lansoprazole-omeprazole

 

Does anyone know how to successfully treat ulcer without this drugs? Doctors say its the only way to treat ulcer and tell me the decision of not taking medication is life risking as you can die if ulcer blows...

 

 

Edited November 11, 2021 by ChessieCat
added topic title before merging with intro topic

[ChessieCat]

I've moved your post from the topic you posted it in to keep that thread on the topic of Tapering off stomach acide blockers/ppis.

 

SA only assists with tapering/withdrawal/adverse reactions from psychiatric drugs, not general medical issues.

 

I suggest you do a search for forums and/or support groups for ulcers.  They might be able to provide you with the information you are seeking.

 

You might consider seeing a different doctor for a second opinion.

[Kiasofia]

On 11/11/2021 at 10:11 AM, SvenZagreb said:

Are all of these emotions which come to me out of the blue (agitaion,anxiety,depression, feeling of no self worth etc..) something which I havent dealt with earlier in my life so they are coming back now or its just a reaction to brain healing and triggering them randomly?

 

Neuro-emotions

 

 

On 11/11/2021 at 10:11 AM, SvenZagreb said:

Does it matter that I already came of Zoloft twice in my life before? I know about kindling effect and wonder if it is going to make it harder this time or should I think that my brain already knows this situation and how to repair so it will repair more easily?

How Psychiatric Drugs Remodel Your Brain

 

On 11/11/2021 at 10:11 AM, SvenZagreb said:

Will psychotherapy help or is it just a waste of money?

I find talking to someone is helpful, but it is important that they understand withdrawal. Otherwise you risk getting more diagnosis and more drugs.

[SvenZagreb]

13 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

I've moved your post from the topic you posted it in to keep that thread on the topic of Tapering off stomach acide blockers/ppis.

 

SA only assists with tapering/withdrawal/adverse reactions from psychiatric drugs, not general medical issues.

 

I suggest you do a search for forums and/or support groups for ulcers.  They might be able to provide you with the information you are seeking.

 

You might consider seeing a different doctor for a second opinion.

Thanx for the information.

I will stick to withdrawal subject here.

[SvenZagreb]

8 hours ago, Kiasofia said:

 

Neuro-emotions

 

 

How Psychiatric Drugs Remodel Your Brain

 

I find talking to someone is helpful, but it is important that they understand withdrawal. Otherwise you risk getting more diagnosis and more drugs.

 

Thank you so much for some of the answers!

I feel as I dont have any stability at all. Like every day I feel different then day before. Like I scann myself every day again looking for whats wrong with me. Even when I dont feel symptoms so hard, I feel there is something wrong and off with me. 

I never feel like myself.

Are any of you familiar with this feeling?

 

 

 

 

[SvenZagreb]

Day 1 diary:

 

6am- woke up,immediately started overanalysing my toughts and overthinking. Dont feel like myself(every day I feel like this whole day)

 

6.30- ate breakfast

 

8.am - arrived at work place.

high irritability and hostility.

Strong Derealization appeared

 

12- ate lunch

 

1pm- exhausted of all the emotions.

 

3pm - had fight with my girlfriend as I was so irritable whole day

 

4pm. Work over

Overthinking and overanalysing my emotions and low mood wont stop. Like I am being held as hostage of my mind. Torture like everyday.

 

6pm - calmed down a bit, derealization weakened a bit. 

Feeling mentaly superexhausted.

 

8pm - ate dinner,still feeling all the symptoms

 

10pm- went for a long walk with dog.

 

11pm- went in bed feeling like crap,miserable like everyday

 

 

With all the emotions described I also feel this all the time every day:ow self esteem, anhedonia,no libido,nostalgia,food cravings, low concentration, waves of nostalgia, identity loss, want to sleep.

[Kiasofia]

Thanks for the update!

Maybe something here can help?

 

Acknowledge, Accept, Float

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

[SvenZagreb]

Do you think I can have benzo withdrawl also even though I only took them every weekend?

[Kiasofia]

If your body got used to having them every weekend and then no longer does, then it's an adjustment for the brain/body. Please add the dose and benzo name to your signature. Did you take them two days a week from 2016-2021?

[SvenZagreb]

6 minutes ago, Kiasofia said:

If your body got used to having them every weekend and then no longer does, then it's an adjustment for the brain/body. Please add the dose and benzo name to your signature. Did you take them two days a week from 2016-2021?

I added to my signature but its like pale font. Like its still waiting to be approved by moderator to be visible to others.

Btw, I only feel normal when I take benzo. Only then I am truly feeling like myself. Nevertheless I did quit them at the same time as zoloft...

I used to take them every weekend. Usually ftiday. I used Diazepam and xanax. On average 10mg

[Kiasofia]

It's gray from some reason. Are you able to add: "Diazepam/Xanax 10mg once a week" to your signature?

[SvenZagreb]

7 minutes ago, Kiasofia said:

It's gray from some reason. Are you able to add: "Diazepam/Xanax 10mg once a week" to your signature?

Yup! Its ok now

[SvenZagreb]

Day 2

 

10am-woke up, immediately started analysing myself,had breakfast

 

11am-went for a walk in the woods with a dog

 

1pm-Fall asleep on the couch

 

2pm- woke up  bit confused

 

3pm- had lunch

 

7pm-started to feel a bit irritable

 

8pm-went to gym, irritability getting worse,deralization got worse,overanalysing got even worse,bit of anxiety showed up for half an hour, had dinner

 

9pm- went for a 3 hour walk with a dog.

 

12-went to bed

 

Whole day I have beem feeling anhedonic,not like myself,overanalysing my mood every second of a day,sleepy,no libido and had few nostalgia waves. I can say i felt neutral whole day. Meaning I had all the symptoms and didnt feel like myself but they didnt overwhelm me.

 

[ChessieCat]

On 11/13/2021 at 7:57 AM, SvenZagreb said:

I added to my signature but its like pale font. Like its still waiting to be approved by moderator to be visible to others.

 

It grey for a reason.  It is so that the signature is clearly distinguishable from the posts.

 

[SvenZagreb]

9 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

 

It grey for a reason.  It is so that the signature is clearly distinguishable from the posts.

 

But other parts of signature were not grey. Signature contained 5 rows and only one row was grey,other were black.

Now its all black...

[SvenZagreb]

At the end of the day, i really dont find colour of signature so important. I have so many bigger issues that bother me regarding my withdrawal that I want to talk about instead of signature 😕

Thanks for caring thou...

[SvenZagreb]

@Frogie I read you are really educated about benzo withdrawals.

Do you think my symptoms might be benzos related?

Is it possible I developed dependency after using them every weekend for years?

I would be so greatfull if you can give your opinion also. 

I'm in such a mess.. i havent felt normal and joyful for more then a year now. Like a bad dream from wich I cant wake up

[SvenZagreb]

Day 3

 

10am- woke up feeling weird again,analysing myself again started from moment I opet my eyes

 

11am- had breakfast,feeling grumpy and irritable 

 

2pm-fell asleep on couch

 

3pm- woke up in wave of depression,hopeless that I will never wake up from this dream

 

4pm- had lunch

 

5pm- still grumpy and cant get rid og that feeling of irritability

 

8pm- panicked I have severe brain damage which I will never recover from,had dinner

 

9pm-went for 3 hour walk with my dog

 

12-went in bed

 

Whole day I dont feel like myself,anhedonic,social anxiety,low energy, pessimistic,no libido,hopeless,feeling weird...

 

 

[Frogie]

7 hours ago, SvenZagreb said:

@Frogie I read you are really educated about benzo withdrawals.

Do you think my symptoms might be benzos related?

Is it possible I developed dependency after using them every weekend for years?

I would be so greatfull if you can give your opinion also. 

I'm in such a mess.. i havent felt normal and joyful for more then a year now. Like a bad dream from wich I cant wake up

I would venture to say that you did become dependent on the benzo. You took them for so many years and then just stopped. Valium can stay in your system 200 hours. From your signature it says you took Valium and Xanax 10 mg for 5 years? When did you just stop? How long after you stopped that you started having symptoms? If it’s been quite a while you may need to just ride out the side effects. If it’s bee very recent you could try starting back on maybe 1 mg Valium everyday and see how you do after a few days. It skews about 4 days to get it steady in your system. I wouldn’t take Xanax unless absolutely necessary. I was on both for years and was able to taper off the Valium much easier because it stays in your system so long. Let me know what you think. I hope I am able to help you.

[SvenZagreb]

9 hours ago, Frogie said:

From your signature it says you took Valium and Xanax 10 mg for 5 years? When did you just stop? How long after you stopped that you started having symptoms?

Well, I cant really remember when i stopped because I never conciously kept track of taking them. I never tought it is a big deal that I only take them on weekends to help me fall asleep after all night partying. Thats why I dont really remember when I stopped. But I suppose I stopped at same time I stopped partyjing and that was around February 2019.

My symptoms started around March/April 2019. I started zoloft in June 2019, because I didnt know what was happening and why do I have symptoms. But it didnt help much, only a bit. Thats why I stopped zoloft in March 2021.

But since then till now I still took them from time to time. Like once every month or two. 

Last time I took 5mg valium was 3 weeks ago. After that I felt completely normal for 5-6 days. And after that all of my symptoms returned again.

So lets say I took them for 4-5 times this year(2021.)

 

Do you think I should reinstate? 

If so, why to take every day? Why not just on weekends like I used to do?

Do you think my symptoms are still present because I still used to take them every month or two?

 

I appreciate soooo much you took time to say what you think. It means a lot to me. Thank you

 

 

 

[Frogie]

You’re body becomes dependent on benzo really quickly and from what you described to me is benzo dependence. 
 

It’s been a year since you took one then?  Valium like I said before stays in your system 200 hours and then taking Xanax on top of that, Xanax is short lived but doesn’t start to leave your system for 8-10 hours.

 

The only reason I suggested 1 mg Valium everyday is because you have to be consistent with benzos in your system so they stay steady. You can’t go up and down with them or you will wreak havoc on your CNS.

 

I doubt after a year reinstating would probably help.  Your body is healing from all of this and time at this point is your best friend.

 

Have you tried magnesium or omegas? You might try a small amount of magnesium and see if that helps. If it does after a week or so you could introduce omegas and see if that helps also. Here’s a link on magnesium:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15483-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

Please let me know if you have any questions I may be able to help you with. Stay strong. Hopefully with self care you’ll start feeling better.
 

[SvenZagreb]

3 hours ago, Frogie said:

It’s been a year since you took one then?

No,in 2021 i took them about 4-5 times total. Last time being 3 weeks ago.

 

So reinstating isnt a good idea? Also have in mind that I got off zoloft in March after 20months...

 

Well, I take omegas and magnesium but they help only with anxiety, NOT the other symptoms such as: identity loss,waves of depression,anhedonia,overanalysing,derealization,nostalgia,libidio loss,concentration issues...

 

 

[Frogie]

49 minutes ago, SvenZagreb said:

No,in 2021 i took them about 4-5 times total. Last time being 3 weeks ago.

 

So reinstating isnt a good idea? Also have in mind that I got off zoloft in March after 20months...

 

Well, I take omegas and magnesium but they help only with anxiety, NOT the other symptoms such as: identity loss,waves of depression,anhedonia,overanalysing,derealization,nostalgia,libidio loss,concentration issues...

 

 

If it's only been 3 weeks or so,you could try reinstating. I wouldn't reinstate taking only on the weekends. You need a consistent schedule that's why I suggested 1 mg of Valium once a day. I'm sorry I misunderstood your signature page. 

[SvenZagreb]

45 minutes ago, Frogie said:

If it's only been 3 weeks or so,you could try reinstating. I wouldn't reinstate taking only on the weekends. You need a consistent schedule that's why I suggested 1 mg of Valium once a day. I'm sorry I misunderstood your signature page. 

No problem. 

But dont you think 1mg/day a bit too much? It means 7mg per week. And before I used to take 5-10mg per week...

And during last 3 months i took like 10mg total...

You think withdrawal symptoms wont go away on lower dose?

Btw how long ypu think will it take to stabilise in my system?

 

 

[Frogie]

You could try .50 mg a day and see how that goes. That would mean 3.5 mg a week. I was just trying to keep you under the 10 mg a week when I said to try 1 mg a day. The key to this is consistency. If you want to start even slower you can try .25 mg a day, that would mean 1.75 mg a week. Then if you are still having symptoms, you could always go up to the .50 mg. 

 

Do you want to try the .25 mg a day and see how you feel in a few days?

 

What would really help is keeping notes for 24 hours for a few days that would give us a better idea of exactly what is going on.

 

Here is a link for the notes:

 

Post 24 hours of notes at a time in this topic, in a simple list format.

 

Let me know if you have any questions.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

 

 

 

 

 

[SvenZagreb]

1 hour ago, Frogie said:

You could try .50 mg a day and see how that goes. That would mean 3.5 mg a week. I was just trying to keep you under the 10 mg a week when I said to try 1 mg a day. The key to this is consistency. If you want to start even slower you can try .25 mg a day, that would mean 1.75 mg a week. Then if you are still having symptoms, you could always go up to the .50 mg. 

 

Do you want to try the .25 mg a day and see how you feel in a few days?

 

What would really help is keeping notes for 24 hours for a few days that would give us a better idea of exactly what is going on.

 

Here is a link for the notes:

 

Post 24 hours of notes at a time in this topic, in a simple list format.

 

Let me know if you have any questions.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

 

 

 

 

 

Thank you so much for all that effort.

Well,now I have to decide if reinstating is really what I want.

I would need to learn to make it liquid right? 

I have a job which requires me to fly out of country at least once a week. So I am not sure that ot would be possible for me to stick to the schedule. And if I start missing doses,reinstating wont make sense. Right?

Do you think I wont recover if I dont try to reinstate or is it just gonna be longer and harder?

 

I am also affraid some of my sympyoms are related to zoloft withdrawal and that reinstating diazepam wont make all the symptoms go away. Could that be true also?

[Frogie]

Only you can decide if reinstating is the right thing to do. If you could get 1 mg Valium you could cut it in 1\4's until you could get a scale and weigh them. Otherwise, you could make a liquid. You could see if Valium comes in liquid form, it does in the US.

[SvenZagreb]

1 hour ago, Frogie said:

Only you can decide if reinstating is the right thing to do. If you could get 1 mg Valium you could cut it in 1\4's until you could get a scale and weigh them. Otherwise, you could make a liquid. You could see if Valium comes in liquid form, it does in the US.

In my country it is called Normabel and it comes in 2mg lowest.

 

Huh... i know decision is on me...

 

But what if my withdrawal is not caused my benzos but with zoloft? 

Reinstating diazepam could cause new dependence if I wasnt dependent really on it. 

Then I have double problem. 

If you get what I mean?

My fear is that diazepam was not my problem and starting taking it now will create whole new dependance.

Do you think that is also a risk?

 

Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom. You are ❤

[Frogie]

I can't answer that for you, only you can make the final decision if reinstatement is something you want to do. I understand your hesitations though. You could get the 2 mg and divide it into .25 mg if you choose to do that. You might hold off a little while longer and see if you have any improvement. Then you'll know if it's the Benzo or not.

[SvenZagreb]

5 hours ago, Frogie said:

I can't answer that for you, only you can make the final decision if reinstatement is something you want to do. I understand your hesitations though. You could get the 2 mg and divide it into .25 mg if you choose to do that. You might hold off a little while longer and see if you have any improvement. Then you'll know if it's the Benzo or not.

Why do you think I will know if its benzos if I hold for little while?

I mean symptoms could improve but they could still be from zoloft...

 

How long after taking last pill do I have until reinstating is no longer an option?

[Frogie]

Maybe this article will help:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8411-bts-the-many-faces-of-reinstatement/#entry35502

 

I can’t tell you to reinstate, only you can make that decision. However even taking a Valium or Xanax on the weekends for as long as you did your body will become dependent on it.

 

I wish I had the magic words that I knew how long this might take to heal from, unfortunately I don’t. I don’t know if it’s the benzo or the Zoloft you are experiencing wd from because it seems you went off of both at relatively the same time.

 

Take care,

 Frogie xx