18yoldoffZoloft: I need serious help

[18yoldoffZoloft]

Hi guys this is gonna be a ton I apologize but Im afraid I've ruined my life and am in desperate need of help both physically and mentally.

 

                                ABOUT ME 

I am an 18 year old girl from the Bay Area in California and I have a lovely boyfriend and family who are trying to understand what I'm dealing with. I have been dealing with anxiety/depression/DP/DR ever since I was ten, coming in episodes, with it not being extremely debilitating until Covid lockdown hit. As of now my current diagnosis are MDD and GAD (which was only recently diagnosed in the psych ward and am pretty sure it came on due to withdrawal symptoms).

 

                       Starting meds      

I started Zoloft early April 2021 and I would say at the time it definitely helped me sink out of a depression. It definitely worked in all senses for a while but I think I felt so good on it that I thought increasing the dose would make me feel even better. Eventually I was on 200 mg by October 2021 (probably earlier) which was the stupidest decision I've ever made. I was in such a "fog" on this medication and didn't bother to do any research but its too late now. It eventually killed my motivation so I began going down at some point I wish I could remember when. But I do know the reason I decided to stop it all together was because I realized how "blunted" my emotions became and I wanted to feel more intense emotions for my boyfriend, and my mental health slowly started declining due to how horrible I was doing in school. All of these memories are foggy to me but I believe I started tapering some point in 2022 and at some point I thought I was okay enough to just stop in the middle of tapering before my trip to the UK in mid-November 2022.

 

                            Downfall 

I thought I was okay for a few weeks after stopping but everything took a turn for the worst. I was sobbing everytime my boyfriend had to leave and would break down into tears at the smallest things. But then some days I would simply feel nothing at all and started to feel extremely disconnected from myself and reality(DP/DR). I thought these feelings would go away with time but **** the fan when I had an anxiety attack on Dec 20 and then another one on Dec 24. Never in my life had I experienced anything like those. After that I basically went two days without eating. I was bed-bound and horribly anxious, shaky, believed I was going to die, and terribly depressed. I couldn't concentrate on anything, had horrible suicidal thoughts and I thought I was going insane. I think I was given a weeks dose of Ativan around this time for sleep which helped but I reinstated Zoloft then (probably 25 mg) and found myself feeling better physically and was on for two weeks until I had another anxiety attack and racing suicidal thoughts and got taken to the ER to stabilize myself (given 1 mg Ativan). I was then put on Prozac 20 mg as it was thought that it would be any different than Zoloft. Not sure why I was given this high of a dose but the five days I were on that were hell (severe anxiety, dry heaving, insomnia, suicidal thoughts). I refused to eat and was so concerned about my reaction to this med and my weight loss and especially the suicidal thoughts that I was taken to the ER and stopped Prozac and felt relief then. I stayed in the ER for two days after while they waited to take me inpatient and thats when I was started on Mirtazipine. Things then started looking up for me, although I was horribly depressed and anxious still I started eating and sleeping and was eventually discharged from the hospital around a week later. I was put into an out patient program and felt some relief for about a week. I noticed my racing thoughts were still there and I started to experience intrusive thoughts/dissacociation/anxiety very bad again. I was told to increase my Mirtazipine dose to 30 mg. The next day I woke up suicidal and at this point I was losing it and decided I did not want to give Mirtazipine more of a chance. Since then I've been using Gabapentin (100-200 mg) as needed and CBD oil while weaning off Mirtazipine but noticed that although CBD and Gaba helped anxiety all they did was make me sleepy and feel so completely dysfunctional that I could not even worry anymore. And when those wore off I felt even more depressed than before. I've been trying to stop CBD and Gaba and yesterday and today I have taken none and am currently taking half a 15 mg Mirtazipine pill. Im not sure what to do because I feel so helpless and alone and that I've ruined my life. Of course Im very depressed and anxious but even worse I find it so difficult to hold a conversation with anyone as Im afraid im hypersensitive to everything now. I cant cry, im not eating, Im stuck in horrible negative thought loops, experiencing horrible brain fog, sometimes even forget what Im saying mid sentence and feel it takes to much energy to talk to anyone. Ive been living in fear and am afraid nothing will help me and I honestly feel heartbroken. I dont feel like myself whatsoever and have never felt this disconnected from myself and my emotions. Along with that im finding it so hard to fall asleep and when I wake up I feel horribly anxious (I think its the cortisol morning thing). Im not sure what to do??? My family is here for me and of course my lovely boyfriend but they dont seem to understand and my parents still arent sold on me being off psych drugs but I swear I'll never touch any of those again. But then again I dont know what the best idea is for me at all. I have never felt this confused or heartbroken in my life and Im so afraid I'll never go back to normal. I'm being sent to a residential program in two weeks so hopefully they help me get back to sleeping and eating and I feel like all they'll try and do is force me to take another antidepressant. 

 

I know you all can relate to me and know the trauma of experiencing a relapse of your mental health issues along with withdrawal symptoms to go along with that. I have so many questions right now and would love if anyone can give me advice on what to do from this point on as I am feeling stuck in an endless loop of pain I can't get out of. Here are the questions I have and I'd appreciate any advice.

 

-Also not to mention I've been vaping Nicotine consistently for around a year and tried to stop when I stopped Zoloft only to start again due to how horrible this situation is and the stress from it. I know it doesnt help but quitting an addiction along with all these drugs that have been put into my body is difficult. 

 

1. How would I go weaning off of Mirtazipine completely? I have only been taking it for a month and 15 mg for only two weeks so I'm not sure how that would work or if I even should consider going off as it might make things worse. 

2. Am I experiencing a relapse in depression or do you think the depression is being caused by withdrawal Ive gone through the past two months? Or maybe both.

3. Should I focus on basic eating/drinking/sleeping for now and try weaning off Mirtazipine when thats more under control?

4. Would going on Zoloft for the third time make a difference? 

 

Any kind of advice would help and I am willing to answer any questions about the timeline of medications to the best of my ability and how many I have been on. I think you all are so brave for going through this journey and persisting through and through. Please please help me.

 

-Julia

[getofflex]

 

Hello, and welcome to SA.  We are a volunteer-run community of people who have been or are getting off of psychiatric drugs.  I'm very sorry to hear about all that you have been through with psych drugs.  You have come to the right place.  I know this is very scary, but many of us here have been through what you are going through, and have recovered.  It's unfortunate, but doctors and hospitals rely way too much on drugs, in my opinion, and many people get messed up.  They don't realize how dependent our brains get on them, and how to properly taper off of them. The good news is, you can recover, but it will take lots of time and patience.  You have time on your side, since you are still very young.  

 

Can you please give us specific information in your signature about your drug history for all drugs and supplements you are on and have been on, especially for the past 18-24 months?  It would be especially helpful to have the details of your drugs in a concise vertical list (no symptoms), only specific dates, include the day (as best you can say for example early March if you don't recall the day), drug names, and dosages of each medication decrease or increase. Here is an example: 

 

March 12, ’22: Lexapro 5 mg, Xanax 0.5 mg, Trazodone 50 mg

March 29, ’22: Lexapro 4 mg, Xanax 0.5 mg, Trazodone 50 mg

April 17, ’22:  Lexapro 3.8 mg, Xanax 0.5 mg, Trazodone 50 mg

May 19, ’22:  Lexapro 3.8 mg, Xanax 0.5 mg, Trazodone 25 mg

 

 

Please read the link below for instructions.  This will allow us to give you the best guidance.  

 

How to List Your Drug History in Your Signature

 

Here is some important information about how these drugs actually work.  This explains why we get symptoms from going off of these medications, and why it's so important to taper slowly and carefully, and be very cautious about changing our doses: 

 

How Psychiatric Drugs Remodel Your Brain

 

 

This helps you understand what withdrawal syndrome is: 

 

Video on Recovery from Psych Drugs

 

Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

Tapering is best done extremely slowly, and we generally taper by 10% of the current dose no more than once every 4 weeks, so that the reduction becomes exponentially smaller.

 

 Why Taper by 10% of my Dosage  

 

Tips for Tapering Mirtazapine

 

The symptoms you describe sound like classic symptoms of withdrawal.  Here is a link with checklists of common WD symptoms: 

 

Dr Joseph Glenmullen Withdrawal Symptom Checklists

 

 

Here are some techniques to cope with symptoms: 

 

Non Drug Ways to Cope with Withdrawal Symptoms

 

Stability is really important when we are tapering off psych meds.  Please read the link about stability:

 

Keep It Simple, Slow, and Stable

 

 

We don't suggest many supplements, but 2 that many of us find helpful are magnesium and omega-3 fish oil. Here are the links for info about those. It is suggested to add one at a time, and start with a low dose to see how it affects you. 

Magnesium

Omega 3 Fish Oil

 

When I see a clear and concise drug history I will be able to give you some suggestions for what to do about possibly a small Zoloft reinstatement. In the meantime, I would not make any changes to the drugs.  I've given you quite a lot of information, so I'll address your other questions in my next post. 

Edited February 22, 2023 by getofflex

[getofflex]

23 hours ago, 18yoldoffZoloft said:

2. Am I experiencing a relapse in depression or do you think the depression is being caused by withdrawal Ive gone through the past two months? Or maybe both.

Since we are working through an online forum, there is no way for me to know for sure, but I'm willing to bet that the depression is mostly caused by the withdrawal.  

 

23 hours ago, 18yoldoffZoloft said:

3. Should I focus on basic eating/drinking/sleeping for now and try weaning off Mirtazipine when thats more under control?

I would not make any changes to your mirtazapine dose at this time, until we get more information, and decide on a course of action.  Yes, focus on basic self care, and be extremely gentle with yourself.  Avoid alcohol, and other mind altering substances.  Eat healthy, avoid stress however you can.  

 

23 hours ago, 18yoldoffZoloft said:

4. Would going on Zoloft for the third time make a difference? 

I would not suggest going back on a full dose of Zoloft.  You may be able to do a very small reinstatement of Zoloft to get yourself stabilized, then later, you could taper off of this.  When I see your drug history, I can better advise you about this.  Here is information about reinstating: 

 

About Reinstating and Stabilizing to Reduce Withdrawal Symptoms

 

[getofflex]

I have copied your drug history that you PM'ed me into your signature box, making minor formatting changes to the dates.  

 

1) Can you please clarify the Mirtazapine information?  On what date, as best you can remember, did you increase it to 30 mg for 3 days?  

 

2) When you took Ativan in December through February, about how often did you take it, on average?  This is important.  

 

If it were me, I would avoid the CBD, and the off and on use of sleeping pills and gabapentin.  Taking this stuff may help in the short term, but then it can further confuse and destabilize the nervous system. 

 

I'm going to ask some of the other staff to look at your situation, and we will give you suggestions as to what to do.  We will get this sorted out.   

 

Edited February 23, 2023 by getofflex

[Altostrata]

Welcome, @18yoldoffZoloft

 

It appears to me that you've probably had sertraline withdrawal syndrome since mid-November and you felt better initially when you reinstated 50mg sertraline. Then, 50mg sertraline became too high a dose for you and you got a paradoxical reaction from it.

 

While you might feel terrible with physical and emotional symptoms, none of this is "relapse".

 

How do you feel now that you've been taking 7.5mg mirtazapine for 4 days?

 

What times o'clock do you take each of your drugs, with their dosages?

 

Of your current symptoms, which are most troublesome for you? How's your sleep?

[18yoldoffZoloft]

59 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Welcome, @18yoldoffZoloft

 

It appears to me that you've probably had sertraline withdrawal syndrome since mid-November and you felt better initially when you reinstated 50mg sertraline. Then, 50mg sertraline became too high a dose for you and you got a paradoxical reaction from it.

 

While you might feel terrible with physical and emotional symptoms, none of this is "relapse".

 

How do you feel now that you've been taking 7.5mg mirtazapine for 4 days?

 

What times o'clock do you take each of your drugs, with their dosages?

 

Of your current symptoms, which are most troublesome for you? How's your sleep?

 

1) Things were really bad at first and still are but I think I'm slowly stabilizing a bit. The day I went down to 7.5 I woke up with extreme anxiety and a racing heart, and have felt burning all throughout my body until this morning where I simply felt anxious but not feeling the burning is a relief. Also felt suicidal the morning after I decreased the dose and an overwhelming feeling of hopelessness but that is getting better aswell. I do notice the burning/anxiety returns when I stress myself out or when I overstimulate myself and when that happens I just have to take a break from whatever I'm doing. Im also waking up every night and have a hard time falling asleep. Also some problems with cognition/thinking and energy. Im still horribly depressed and not sure how I'll go without medication but I don't think I can bear touching another pill.

 

2. As of the past few days I've only taken Mirtazipine and have been taking it at night, not consistent times though. Past two days roughly 2 am. 

 

3. For the past month I've been feeling everything or not feeling at all, it is still very hard to cry and when I try nothing comes out. When I try to feel emotion but I cant, I find myself feeling pressure in my chest and burning. I think my body just isnt used to all these changes. Most troubling would be the burning which has subsided a bit (thank god) and when I overstimulate myself and have to go calm down somewhere. Also I get irritated very easily which causes burning aswell and have had a few times where I just lash out and yell at people (I feel like I can't control it but it is so unlike me to do that and it hurts). The disassociation and lack of connection between my mind and body is so confusing. Also the insomnia is horrible but I'd say thats the least troubling as of now. Also I am not eating very well at all and I am already very underweight so that is distressing too.

 

I would love to know that the next step is if you guys could advise me  Also I dont know if I mentioned this but I tried reinstating Zoloft a THIRD time (25 mg) on February 11th-13th but on the 13th I felt suicidal AGAIN and could not stop sweating + racing thoughts, so I stopped.

[18yoldoffZoloft]

8 hours ago, getofflex said:

I have copied your drug history that you PM'ed me into your signature box, making minor formatting changes to the dates.  

 

1) Can you please clarify the Mirtazapine information?  On what date, as best you can remember, did you increase it to 30 mg for 3 days?  

 

2) When you took Ativan in December through February, about how often did you take it, on average?  This is important.  

 

If it were me, I would avoid the CBD, and the off and on use of sleeping pills and gabapentin.  Taking this stuff may help in the short term, but then it can further confuse and destabilize the nervous system. 

 

I'm going to ask some of the other staff to look at your situation, and we will give you suggestions as to what to do.  We will get this sorted out.   

 

 

1) On Feb 13th (the day I took my last dose of Zoloft for the third time of trying to reinstate it), I increased Mirtazipine to 30mg that night, and took that till the 15th but felt suicidal again on the morning of the 15th, so went back down to the 15mg. 

 

2) I had taken it for about 6 days at night for sleep late Dec-Jan, and took it probably 4-5 different times in January. I then took it three times in Feb with the last time I took it being 0.5mg on Feb 15th. 

 

Thank you again

 

[getofflex]

Please look at your mirtazapine history I typed in your signature box, and verify that for me.  Thank you.  

28 minutes ago, 18yoldoffZoloft said:

2) I had taken it for about 6 days at night for sleep late Dec-Jan, and took it probably 4-5 different times in January. I then took it three times in Feb with the last time I took it being 0.5mg on Feb 15th. 

Thank you.  I don't believe you have developed a dependent on Ativan, which is good.  Please be aware this is a benzodiazepine, and is very addictive, so I suggest that you take it very sparingly. 

 

41 minutes ago, 18yoldoffZoloft said:

1) Things were really bad at first and still are but I think I'm slowly stabilizing a bit.

I'm very glad to hear this!  This is a good sign.  

 

42 minutes ago, 18yoldoffZoloft said:

2. As of the past few days I've only taken Mirtazipine and have been taking it at night, not consistent times though. Past two days roughly 2 am. 

It's very important to take your drugs at the same time of the day each day - this will help your system to stabilize and recover.  

 

So you no longer take the gabapentin or sleeping pills, and are now just on 7.5 mg of mirtazapine?  

 

43 minutes ago, 18yoldoffZoloft said:

I would love to know that the next step is if you guys could advise me  

We are asking a lot of questions, and once we know the answers to these, we will advise you.  This is a complex case, as there have been a lot of drugs and drug changes in the past few months, which complicates things.  

 

The keys to healing from this situation, are loads of time, patience, and being extremely cautious with changing drugs, changing doses, adding drugs, etc.  I would suggest you not make any changes to your drugs, until we suggest a course of action.  Your nervous system craves and needs stability right now, because it's been destabilized by all the drugs and drug changes over the past several months.  In the meantime, practice natural self care - walks outside for 30 minutes, healthy diet and fluids, avoid alcohol and mind altering stuff, no caffeine or sugar, avoid stress and drama, do whatever eases tension, helps you calm and relax your nervous system.  I find that playing soft music at a low volume is very helpful to me.  

[Altostrata]

The next step is no more drug changes, you should get on a regular sleep schedule and take mirtazapine at the same time every night -- in my opinion, 2 a.m. is too late, I suggest 11 p.m. and in bed by midnight. No video games at night.

 

Getting good, regular sleep will help you stabilize.

 

See 

 

 

What is the sleep cycle?

 

Waking with panic or anxiety -- managing the morning cortisol spike

 

Tips to help sleep -- so many of us have that awful withdrawal insomnia

 

Path to Better Sleep FREE online for everyone from the US Veterans Administration

 

Music for self-care: Calms hyperalertness, anxiety, aids relaxation and sleep

 

White noise devices for sleep

 

Melatonin for sleep: Many people find it helpful

 

TV or computer use in evening can disrupt sleep: Bright light signals the brain that it's daytime

 

Please let us know how you're doing over the next 2 weeks.

 

[18yoldoffZoloft]

2 hours ago, getofflex said:

Please look at your mirtazapine history I typed in your signature box, and verify that for me.  Thank you.  

Thank you.  I don't believe you have developed a dependent on Ativan, which is good.  Please be aware this is a benzodiazepine, and is very addictive, so I suggest that you take it very sparingly. 

 

I'm very glad to hear this!  This is a good sign.  

 

It's very important to take your drugs at the same time of the day each day - this will help your system to stabilize and recover.  

 

So you no longer take the gabapentin or sleeping pills, and are now just on 7.5 mg of mirtazapine?  

 

We are asking a lot of questions, and once we know the answers to these, we will advise you.  This is a complex case, as there have been a lot of drugs and drug changes in the past few months, which complicates things.  

 

The keys to healing from this situation, are loads of time, patience, and being extremely cautious with changing drugs, changing doses, adding drugs, etc.  I would suggest you not make any changes to your drugs, until we suggest a course of action.  Your nervous system craves and needs stability right now, because it's been destabilized by all the drugs and drug changes over the past several months.  In the meantime, practice natural self care - walks outside for 30 minutes, healthy diet and fluids, avoid alcohol and mind altering stuff, no caffeine or sugar, avoid stress and drama, do whatever eases tension, helps you calm and relax your nervous system.  I find that playing soft music at a low volume is very helpful to me.  

 

The Mirtazipine info is correct !!! Thank you for fixing it. 

Yes, for the past couple of days I have only been taking 7.5 Mirtazipine and no other meds/supplements and plan to keep it that way. I also only took sleeping pills a few times in January but none this month. Also, I've been trying to keep a symptom diary as I see it can be helpful and every day I've been noticing the slightest improvement in symptoms. I definitely tend to feel the worst in the morning but I regularly feel better by night-time  

 

Also I think its important to mention I've had a fever twice since stopping Zoloft in Nov and got a really bad case of the common cold and flu. I also got Covid for the first time around when I started Prozac and all of this is really concerning to me because I never really get sick. UTI too. Im guessing my immune system is all over the place too so Im vulnerable right now especially. 

 

I will definitely be taking care of myself and be trying my best not to think about how my future will be due to all of this as that does nothing to help. I went to the gym yesterday and definitely felt better afterwards but I'll be sure not to over-do it or anything. Also music definitely helps me as well :)) Im seeing a psychiatrist next week to talk about this situation but will not be taking any more drugs for sure. 

 

Thank you guys again!! Am looking to move forward with all of this. 

 

 

 

[littlebird]

Hello, fellow Bay Area friend! How you holding up? Too cold rn.

 

13 minutes ago, 18yoldoffZoloft said:

Also I think its important to mention I've had a fever twice since stopping Zoloft in Nov and got a really bad case of the common cold and flu. I also got Covid for the first time around when I started Prozac and all of this is really concerning to me because I never really get sick. UTI too. Im guessing my immune system is all over the place too so Im vulnerable right now especially.

 

There's a lot of research pointing to covid damaging/impairing the immune system, many people who recover from covid then keep getting sick and having infections of all kinds that their body would usually fight off no problem. It does indeed sound like you're vulnerable, please protect yourself and rest as much as your body needs. Getting sun/vitamin D is good too!

 

13 minutes ago, 18yoldoffZoloft said:

I went to the gym yesterday and definitely felt better afterwards but I'll be sure not to over-do it or anything

 

Exercise is so good for us, but for the afore-mentioned immune system reasons please mask up (with a good N95 for all that heavy breathing in there) and wash hands/disinfect often in gym. I know someone whose immune system was impacted post-covid who got hand, foot, and mouth disease at the gym. 😬 That usually only affects young children whose immune systems aren't developed.

 

13 minutes ago, 18yoldoffZoloft said:

I will definitely be taking care of myself and be trying my best not to think about how my future will be due to all of this as that does nothing to help.

 

Yeah, good thinking! There's no need to future-trip, especially since we have literally no clue what it could be. I try to limit my future-thinking to positive, and balance out any reflexive worst case scenario thinking with best case scenario thinking. 

 

13 minutes ago, 18yoldoffZoloft said:

I've been trying to keep a symptom diary as I see it can be helpful and every day I've been noticing the slightest improvement in symptoms.

 

This is a great sign!! Welcome to SA, glad you're here.

[18yoldoffZoloft]

18 minutes ago, littlebird said:

Hello, fellow Bay Area friend! How you holding up? Too cold rn.

 

 

There's a lot of research pointing to covid damaging/impairing the immune system, many people who recover from covid then keep getting sick and having infections of all kinds that their body would usually fight off no problem. It does indeed sound like you're vulnerable, please protect yourself and rest as much as your body needs. Getting sun/vitamin D is good too!

 

 

Exercise is so good for us, but for the afore-mentioned immune system reasons please mask up (with a good N95 for all that heavy breathing in there) and wash hands/disinfect often in gym. I know someone whose immune system was impacted post-covid who got hand, foot, and mouth disease at the gym. 😬 That usually only affects young children whose immune systems aren't developed.

 

 

Yeah, good thinking! There's no need to future-trip, especially since we have literally no clue what it could be. I try to limit my future-thinking to positive, and balance out any reflexive worst case scenario thinking with best case scenario thinking. 

 

 

This is a great sign!! Welcome to SA, glad you're here.

 

Hi!! I've been following your story and you are very very brave omg. It is definitely way too cold rn and the rain is depressing :(( I've been doing okay but having a hard time accepting the fact that it feels like my whole world has been turned upside down. I had to quit my job because of all of this and I'd love to work again soon. Also been really missing going out more with my boyfriend and friends and it's hard for me to explain all of this to everyone without sounding like a crazy person LOL. I definitely have to be wary about getting sick again and you're definitely right about the mask thing. How are you???

[littlebird]

4 minutes ago, 18yoldoffZoloft said:

It is definitely way too cold rn and the rain is depressing :((

 

My mood does seem to be affected by the weather! When the sun came out today, it was the best I felt all day. Hoping it warms up soon! This is too much.

 

5 minutes ago, 18yoldoffZoloft said:

Also been really missing going out more with my boyfriend and friends and it's hard for me to explain all of this to everyone without sounding like a crazy person LOL.

 

Right?? Like, when people ask, "What have you been up to?" the honest answer would be "researching the heck outta pharmacology and processing feelings that come up as I taper" but that's not fun small talk. I started to tell my partner something I learned about my meds today, and then just got so bored of how much time I've spent thinking and talking about this that I changed the subject before finishing the sentence. 

 

8 minutes ago, 18yoldoffZoloft said:

How are you???

 

I'm doing all right, thank you for asking! Day by day getting better and figuring all this out. This community has been really helpful in as I puzzle out these meds. Trying to push myself out of the fog enough to get things done! Which reminds me, I need to figure out dinner... gtg! Whoops, I keep doing that with meals!

[18yoldoffZoloft]

Hi, again! @Altostrata @getofflex I'm not sure how exactly to give an update but I would love some more help when you guys have time. Here is the update:

 

I've been taking 7.5 Mirtazipine for 8 nights so far, with a bit of improvements every day it seems. I've been trying to eat better, stay consistent with exercise, sleep 8 hours, and take the med at the same time each night (which I haven't been doing the best at). No physical symptoms anymore but definitely the most troubling for me would be a lack of emotion. I wake up every morning super depressed and feel myself needing to cry A LOT but have just given up as each time I work myself up, my body becomes hot/I can't think straight, instead of crying. This is frustrating and I hope to regain my emotions back eventually. Also when I get overstimulated and can't cry I find myself feeling very helpless as crying normally helps me. So I resorted to chopping off a bunch of my hair last night as a way to cope . 

 

Do you guys think it be okay for me to reduce my Mirtazipine dose tonight? I'm not sure exactly how I would do that and how much I would reduce for a few reasons. I have only been taking Mirtazipine since late January and aren't you not supposed to taper for a longer time than you have been taking the med? If I were to stay at 7.5 for another week, that wouldn't make sense to me because eventually I would be tapering for longer than I have been taking the med at its therapeutic dose. As for tapering, would the 10% rule a month apply in this case? I'm not sure but would love to know what I can do next. I am feeling okay besides mental symptoms occasionally so I think I would be okay to lower my dose.

 

Thank you again  

 

-Julia

 

[Altostrata]

@18yoldoffZoloft good to hear you're doing better with sleep.

 

37 minutes ago, 18yoldoffZoloft said:

No physical symptoms anymore but definitely the most troubling for me would be a lack of emotion.

 

From what we've seen, the emotional anesthesia is a common consequence of having taken antidepressants for an extended amount of time, which you have done April 2021-November 2022, followed by a lot of drug changes that might have sensitized your nervous system to adverse drug effects and withdrawal symptoms.

 

Unless you're having an adverse reaction to mirtazapine, this probably is not a good time for you to reduce mirtazapine again. It would be best for you to give your nervous system a vacation from drug changes.

 

34 minutes ago, 18yoldoffZoloft said:

As for tapering, would the 10% rule a month apply in this case?

 

You have been taking at least 7.5mg mirtazapine since January 27 and would be well advised not to go off quickly. We do not know yet your personal tapering rate. Eventually, an initial 10% reduction will indicate if that's too little or too much.

 

38 minutes ago, 18yoldoffZoloft said:

aren't you not supposed to taper for a longer time than you have been taking the med?

 

There is no such rule.

[18yoldoffZoloft]

2 hours ago, Altostrata said:

@18yoldoffZoloft good to hear you're doing better with sleep.

 

 

From what we've seen, the emotional anesthesia is a common consequence of having taken antidepressants for an extended amount of time, which you have done April 2021-November 2022, followed by a lot of drug changes that might have sensitized your nervous system to adverse drug effects and withdrawal symptoms.

 

Unless you're having an adverse reaction to mirtazapine, this probably is not a good time for you to reduce mirtazapine again. It would be best for you to give your nervous system a vacation from drug changes.

 

 

You have been taking at least 7.5mg mirtazapine since January 27 and would be well advised not to go off quickly. We do not know yet your personal tapering rate. Eventually, an initial 10% reduction will indicate if that's too little or too much.

 

 

There is no such rule.

Hi Alto, thank you for the advisement  

I am a bit scared of staying at 7.5 for too long though just because of the risk of dependency but I do need to take into consideration how too quick of a change could make things worse. Do you think I should give it another few days, a week or more? I'm not too sure. But I think the next reduction would be 6.75 mg. 

 

Also, could I be experiencing Zoloft withdrawal even now? Its hard to say because of all these drug changes that have happened but I know my too-quick of a taper of Zoloft started all of this. 

 

[Altostrata]

14 hours ago, 18yoldoffZoloft said:

Also, could I be experiencing Zoloft withdrawal even now? Its hard to say because of all these drug changes that have happened but I know my too-quick of a taper of Zoloft started all of this. 

 

Yes, it's my guess that sertraline withdrawal is your underlying condition.

 

You have been making drug changes every week since the end of December. It's important for you to be able to sleep. If 7.5mg mirtazapine enables you to sleep and you don't have any serious adverse effects from it, allowing your nervous system to settle down is probably the best course. If you react badly to a reduction of mirtazapine, it could send you back into worse sertraline withdrawal.

[18yoldoffZoloft]

On 2/28/2023 at 11:33 AM, Altostrata said:

 

Yes, it's my guess that sertraline withdrawal is your underlying condition.

 

You have been making drug changes every week since the end of December. It's important for you to be able to sleep. If 7.5mg mirtazapine enables you to sleep and you don't have any serious adverse effects from it, allowing your nervous system to settle down is probably the best course. If you react badly to a reduction of mirtazapine, it could send you back into worse sertraline withdrawal.

 

Hi again Alto!

I have been taking 7.5 mg Mirtazipine for around 22 days now and am unsure if I'm stable. Im afraid this drug may be doing more harm than good, I don't think I'm having any extreme adverse reactions but I honestly don't know. I could be in another wave aswell honestly. Some things I've been experiencing are memory issues, intense brain fog/heaviness, burning throughout my body, chemical anxiety (I think), jolting limbs, and an extreme uncomfortableness in my own body almost like I am hyperaware of everything now and I want to jump out of my own skin. Most troubling is a return of intrusive thoughts I swear some days I cannot stop thinking like my brain will not turn off and I feel like I'm having an identity crisis. All of this is really distressing. These have remained throughout the entire time I've been on Mirtazipine, varying in intensity but all really uncomfortable. I think they might have gotten worse over the past few days because I switched the kind of pill I was taking on the 10th and now I have a THIRD prescription of Mirtazipine which I just got today. They are all different pills. I am not sure what is causing how I'm feeling right now and I'm scared that Mirtazipine is preventing any healing from my Zoloft withdrawal  I also notice I always feel better at night which makes me believe that this drug is making me worse. I know I can't rush the taper but I'm not sure if I'm feeling stable or if I even have been the past 22 days. I have been sleeping til 2 pm recently and sometimes through the entire day just because of how uneasy I feel in my own body and I just want to escape how I'm feeling. It makes it very hard to do things sometimes and I'm terrified I will never heal on this drug.

 

I guess I'm just wondering what I should do now. Should I stick to one brand of Mirtazipine and keep it there and hope for some stabilization before I do a reduction? I am very scared of all of these symptoms not going away. Still feeling an extreme disconnect of my mind and body, a lot of burning, and that causes me a lot of stress. I also have not been the best at taking the drugs at the same time every night so I'm sure thats also contributing to how I'm feeling. 

 

Thank you, thank you  

 

-Julia

 

 

 

[18yoldoffZoloft]

4 hours ago, 18yoldoffZoloft said:

 

Hi again Alto!

I have been taking 7.5 mg Mirtazipine for around 22 days now and am unsure if I'm stable. Im afraid this drug may be doing more harm than good, I don't think I'm having any extreme adverse reactions but I honestly don't know. I could be in another wave aswell honestly. Some things I've been experiencing are memory issues, intense brain fog/heaviness, burning throughout my body, chemical anxiety (I think), jolting limbs, and an extreme uncomfortableness in my own body almost like I am hyperaware of everything now and I want to jump out of my own skin. Most troubling is a return of intrusive thoughts I swear some days I cannot stop thinking like my brain will not turn off and I feel like I'm having an identity crisis. All of this is really distressing. These have remained throughout the entire time I've been on Mirtazipine, varying in intensity but all really uncomfortable. I think they might have gotten worse over the past few days because I switched the kind of pill I was taking on the 10th and now I have a THIRD prescription of Mirtazipine which I just got today. They are all different pills. I am not sure what is causing how I'm feeling right now and I'm scared that Mirtazipine is preventing any healing from my Zoloft withdrawal  I also notice I always feel better at night which makes me believe that this drug is making me worse. I know I can't rush the taper but I'm not sure if I'm feeling stable or if I even have been the past 22 days. I have been sleeping til 2 pm recently and sometimes through the entire day just because of how uneasy I feel in my own body and I just want to escape how I'm feeling. It makes it very hard to do things sometimes and I'm terrified I will never heal on this drug.

 

I guess I'm just wondering what I should do now. Should I stick to one brand of Mirtazipine and keep it there and hope for some stabilization before I do a reduction? I am very scared of all of these symptoms not going away. Still feeling an extreme disconnect of my mind and body, a lot of burning, and that causes me a lot of stress. I also have not been the best at taking the drugs at the same time every night so I'm sure thats also contributing to how I'm feeling. 

 

Thank you, thank you  

 

-Julia

 

 

 

 

@Altostrata I apologize for tagging you I'm not sure if tagging is something I should be doing because I know you're super busy with responding to everyone but I'm really desperate at the moment for some kind of reassurance. Im changing to a new brand of Remeron tonight and I'm not sure if I should be doing that. I've been taking a new brand for two days already and Im thinking the best option for me is to try the third one because it is the only brand I will get a prescription of from now on so I don't think I have any other choice. Im just really scared. Thank you for all that you've been doing to help me so far I appreciate it so much !! 

 

-Julia 

[getofflex]

 

You need to stop making changes to your drugs, as this will confuse and destabilize your nervous system, and worsen your symptoms.  Drug changes include: changing your dose, stopping and starting drugs, missing/skipping doses, changing manufacturers, and changing forms (tablet to liquid, etc).  It does sounds as though you are getting plenty of sleep, which is very good.  

 

It sounds as though you may be having some withdrawal symptoms from the Zoloft.  

 

What time of day do you take your mirtazapine?  To see if you are having an adverse reaction to mirtazapine, it is important that you do a daily drug/symptom journal.  

Keep track of taking your drug, symptoms, eating, sleeping, etc.  Write the time on the left, and describe the event on the right.  Pay attention especially to how you feel before, and then after, you take your drug. Please do this for 24 hours, and post an entry in here for each 24 hour period.  Here is an example: 

 

January 31, 2023

6 AM woke with anxiety

8 am took 2.5 mg lexapro

10 am stomach is upset

10:30 am ate breakfast

11:35 am got a headache, lasted one hour

12:35 ate lunch

4 pm feel a bit better

5 pm took 2.5 mg lexapro

6 pm ate dinner

9:20 pm headache 

10:00 pm took 50 mg Seroquel

10:30 pm feeling dizzy

10:30 pm fell asleep 

2:30 am woke, took 3 mg Ambien

2:45 am fell asleep

4:30 am woke, but got back to sleep 

 

 

 

 

Edited March 13, 2023 by getofflex

[getofflex]

8 hours ago, 18yoldoffZoloft said:

I've been taking a new brand for two days already and Im thinking the best option for me is to try the third one because it is the only brand I will get a prescription of from now on so I don't think I have any other choice.

Go ahead and take whatever brand of mirtazapine you can get consistently in the future.  It is important to stop changing your drugs around after you do this.  

 

 

[RachelSusan]

@18yoldoffZoloft

Hi.

I dropped by to give you emotional support.  I too went off of Zoloft way too fast.  It looks like you went off in mid November. Sad to say it takes a long time to recover from the effects of going off. @getofflex is giving you the best advice ever.  Don't make any changes, to anything.   You are experiencing some symptoms and as you said, you are desperate.  I know the feeling well. Hang in there, give it some time and a lot of the symptoms you are feeling should go away. However, do be aware that recovery is very slow. If you can have patience with your healing process it would help.

 

I'm very sorry you are going through this. I know it is terrible.  You will heal though.

 

 

[18yoldoffZoloft]

7 hours ago, getofflex said:

 

You need to stop making changes to your drugs, as this will confuse and destabilize your nervous system, and worsen your symptoms.  Drug changes include: changing your dose, stopping and starting drugs, missing/skipping doses, changing manufacturers, and changing forms (tablet to liquid, etc).  It does sounds as though you are getting plenty of sleep, which is very good.  

 

It sounds as though you may be having some withdrawal symptoms from the Zoloft.  

 

What time of day do you take your mirtazapine?  To see if you are having an adverse reaction to mirtazapine, it is important that you do a daily drug/symptom journal.  

Keep track of taking your drug, symptoms, eating, sleeping, etc.  Write the time on the left, and describe the event on the right.  Pay attention especially to how you feel before, and then after, you take your drug. Please do this for 24 hours, and post an entry in here for each 24 hour period.  Here is an example: 

 

January 31, 2023

6 AM woke with anxiety

8 am took 2.5 mg lexapro

10 am stomach is upset

10:30 am ate breakfast

11:35 am got a headache, lasted one hour

12:35 ate lunch

4 pm feel a bit better

5 pm took 2.5 mg lexapro

6 pm ate dinner

9:20 pm headache 

10:00 pm took 50 mg Seroquel

10:30 pm feeling dizzy

10:30 pm fell asleep 

2:30 am woke, took 3 mg Ambien

2:45 am fell asleep

4:30 am woke, but got back to sleep 

 

 

 

 

 

Thank you lex, I'll start making a symptom journal!!!! I experienced symptoms similar to this when I made a drop from 15 mg to 7.5 mg Mirtazipine 22 days ago but not as bad. But I didn't drop this time, just switched brands so I'm not sure. Is it possible that the drop from 15 mg to 7.5 could be affecting me now? Could it be combination of that and Zoloft withdrawal? 

 

Thank you again

-Julia

[18yoldoffZoloft]

6 hours ago, RachelSusan said:

@18yoldoffZoloft

Hi.

I dropped by to give you emotional support.  I too went off of Zoloft way too fast.  It looks like you went off in mid November. Sad to say it takes a long time to recover from the effects of going off. @getofflex is giving you the best advice ever.  Don't make any changes, to anything.   You are experiencing some symptoms and as you said, you are desperate.  I know the feeling well. Hang in there, give it some time and a lot of the symptoms you are feeling should go away. However, do be aware that recovery is very slow. If you can have patience with your healing process it would help.

 

I'm very sorry you are going through this. I know it is terrible.  You will heal though.

 

 

 

Hi! 

Thank you for commenting I'm feeling a little less alone. But the thought of this taking a long time is terrifying to me. I'm getting worried because I basically CTed Zoloft/fast tapered and tried reinstating in January but I reinstated too much and got a paradoxical reaction from it. I wish I knew about only doing a tiny tiny reinstatement and if I knew that maybe I could've avoided ever going on Mirtazipine. I think its too late to reinstate Zoloft and I'm not sure if that will even help me at the moment  I feel too far gone. How long did it take for you to recover? Did you think things significantly got better at some point? I just hope they do for me because at the almost 4-month mark for me I'm still experiencing symptoms. Its very disheartening.

 

Thank you @RachelSusan  

-Julia

[RachelSusan]

@18yoldoffZoloft Hi Julia, I completely understand why you feel disheartened.  It is a horrible experience to live thorough. Four months is a long time to feel bad however in the world of recovery it is rather standard. You also made an additional change 22 days ago. That can add time to you withdrawal. 

 

Here's a brief summary of my experience.  I did a complete stop of Zoloft, with no taper, and then I reinstated and then started on a too fast taper. I suffered for at least 6 months or even more because I kept making changes. Once I started to get a better idea of what I should be doing (from reading on the website) things got a lot easier. I had occasions where I would cut a little more than my body could handle and the symptoms would come back for a few days. Overall though everything was much better.

 

I know you envision years of this. It might be a long time until get off the Mirtazipine, but that doesn't mean you will be suffering for years. Once I found, what was for me, the correct amount to taper it sort of lived in the background of my life. I didn't have symptoms, I just had to deal with tapering and because I was using liquid I had to do some measuring.  Yes things got significantly better.

 

I did get Gabapentin added to the mix to help me get off of the Zoloft, so now I am tapering that. I did recover completely though from the Zoloft. I went back to normal. The symptoms went away. I am telling you this so you don't loose heart.

 

I have read everything that @getofflex said to you and it is excellent advice. It is actually beyond excellent, I would say it is the gold standard.  I understand your frustration because I experienced the exact same feeling. If you can force yourself not make any changes right now it would be really good.

 

Warm wishes.

Edited March 13, 2023 by RachelSusan

[18yoldoffZoloft]

On 3/13/2023 at 6:05 AM, getofflex said:

 

You need to stop making changes to your drugs, as this will confuse and destabilize your nervous system, and worsen your symptoms.  Drug changes include: changing your dose, stopping and starting drugs, missing/skipping doses, changing manufacturers, and changing forms (tablet to liquid, etc).  It does sounds as though you are getting plenty of sleep, which is very good.  

 

It sounds as though you may be having some withdrawal symptoms from the Zoloft.  

 

What time of day do you take your mirtazapine?  To see if you are having an adverse reaction to mirtazapine, it is important that you do a daily drug/symptom journal.  

Keep track of taking your drug, symptoms, eating, sleeping, etc.  Write the time on the left, and describe the event on the right.  Pay attention especially to how you feel before, and then after, you take your drug. Please do this for 24 hours, and post an entry in here for each 24 hour period.  Here is an example: 

 

January 31, 2023

6 AM woke with anxiety

8 am took 2.5 mg lexapro

10 am stomach is upset

10:30 am ate breakfast

11:35 am got a headache, lasted one hour

12:35 ate lunch

4 pm feel a bit better

5 pm took 2.5 mg lexapro

6 pm ate dinner

9:20 pm headache 

10:00 pm took 50 mg Seroquel

10:30 pm feeling dizzy

10:30 pm fell asleep 

2:30 am woke, took 3 mg Ambien

2:45 am fell asleep

4:30 am woke, but got back to sleep 

 

 

 

 

 

I did an entry yesterday and will continue to do so !

 

March 13

 

6am-1pm-in and out of sleep, had physical burning when i woke up but ignored it and tried to go back to sleep

2 pm-ate 

3:30 pm-ate a bit again

4 pm-feel like i need to cry but nothing will come out 

4:30 pm-inner anxiety, went on a walk

5 pm-wave of sadness, tiredness, heavy head 

6 pm -inner anxiety, heavy head 

7 pm-heavy head, burning body but better mood overall for the rest of the night

7:30 pm-ate dinner

8 pm- head heavy still, tingling

9 pm- used nicotine, makes burning worse, a bit nauseous 

10 pm-took 7.5 mirtazipine, burning gone the rest of the night

11 pm- a bit sleepy, apathetic?? maybe just tired

12 am- sleepy still, irritable, ate some

1 am- fell asleep

5 am- woke, upset stomach, got back to sleep

 

 

[getofflex]

Excellent job on the notes. Keep doing this each day and post them here.  See if you feel worse after your mirtazapine dose.  It looks like you are able to sleep which is good. Keep up the walks those are good.  Is the nicotine a daily habit?

Edited March 14, 2023 by getofflex

[18yoldoffZoloft]

23 hours ago, getofflex said:

Excellent job on the notes. Keep doing this each day and post them here.  See if you feel worse after your mirtazapine dose.  It looks like you are able to sleep which is good. Keep up the walks those are good.  Is the nicotine a daily habit?

 

Yes, the nicotine is a daily habit but I'm trying to cut down my use. 

 

March 14

10 am- woke up, no burning

11 am- thinking spiral

12 pm- inner anxiety, wobbly tingly arms

1 pm- neutral/sad

1:30 pm- ate

2 pm-used nicotine

3 pm-ate some more

4 pm- thinking spiral, freaked out, went on a walk

5 pm-6 pm-therapy 

6:30 pm- inner anxiety

7 pm- head burns, need to cry

8 pm- head is heavy

9 pm- ate dinner 

10 pm- weird tingly back sensation, heartburn

10:17 pm- 7.5 mg mirtazipine 

11 pm- calmed down a bit, tired, irritable, cried

12 am- went to sleep

 

Since I've been on Mirtazipine I've experienced this inner restlessness that I can't get rid of. Sometimes it feels like my body is going in fight or flight mode which is very distressing and I feel like I want to escape my body. It's mainly physical and it is accompanied by this burning feeling/a need to cry but I rarely can cry. But it regularly subsides at night on good days. Could it be possible that Mirtazipine is making withdrawal worse and is preventing any windows/waves from happening from my Zoloft withdrawal? Also even if windows/waves are happening is it normal for them to be very unclear? I feel like Mirtazipine is preventing any healing from happening.

 

Thank you  

-Julia

 

[getofflex]

Please tell me what dates you started and then stopped Zoloft in December 2022. Your signature is unclear about that. I don’t know if December 30 is the date you started it or stopped it. 

What happened when you took the Prozac for four days?  

 

just from the two days of your notes I don’t see an adverse reaction to the mirtazapine. What I suspect is that you are having some activation from SSRI withdrawal syndrome. This is very common. The only ways to deal with it or either to do a very small reinstatement of the anti-depressant or to just stay off of it and deal with the symptoms.  It’s very normal to have the activation and symptoms more in the daytime and then have them subside at night.  This has to do with the fact that our bodies produce high cortisol early in the day and the cortisol drops as the day goes on.  
 

you did start the mirtazapine shortly after you quit the anti-depressant. It’s common for it to take several weeks or even months after someone quit an anti-depressant to experience withdrawal symptoms. 

Edited March 15, 2023 by getofflex

[18yoldoffZoloft]

22 minutes ago, getofflex said:

Please tell me what dates you started and then stopped Zoloft in December 2022. Your signature is unclear about that. I don’t know if December 30 is the date you started it or stopped it. 

What happened when you took the Prozac for four days?  

 

just from the two days of your notes I don’t see an adverse reaction to the mirtazapine. What I suspect is that you are having some activation from SSRI withdrawal syndrome. This is very common. The only ways to deal with it or either to do a very small reinstatement of the anti-depressant or to just stay off of it and deal with the symptoms.  It’s very normal to have the activation and symptoms more in the daytime and then have them subside at night.  This has to do with the fact that our bodies produce high cortisol early in the day and the cortisol drops as the day goes on.  
 

you did start the mirtazapine shortly after you quit the anti-depressant. It’s common for it to take several weeks or even months after someone quit an anti-depressant to experience withdrawal symptoms. 

I was on Zoloft for around a year and a half until mid-Nov 22 when I basically CTed it at 50. I felt okay until I crashed on Dec 24 and then experienced hellish symptoms until I reinstated it on Dec 30 for about 3 weeks. So I started it late December! That went okay until I crashed again and its thought that I had reinstated too much and my body didn't accept that much anymore. Thats when I went on the med train and eventually got put on Mirtazipine which is what I'm on today.

 

I took Prozac after it was thought the reinstatement of Zoloft "wasnt working" and I was pretty desperate for relief. I felt suicidal on Prozac at some point and my body was rejecting it (dry heaving, nausea, etc). Thats when I went to the ER and quit Prozac and was sent to a hospital where they started me on Mirtazipine. 

 

 

I think I first started experiencing withdrawal symptoms the month after I quit Zoloft and I think my body has been all over the place since being put on gaba, ativan, benzos throughout January aswell. Its hard for me to know whats what  Ive been having ups/downs on Mirtazipine and I'm not sure if they're waves/windows or withdrawal syndrome or something inbetween. I've been taking only Mirtazipine for a bit now and things still aren't really stable but there are definitely better moments. It feels like my insides are on fire a lot of the time. 

 

 

[18yoldoffZoloft]

On 3/13/2023 at 3:49 PM, RachelSusan said:

@18yoldoffZoloft Hi Julia, I completely understand why you feel disheartened.  It is a horrible experience to live thorough. Four months is a long time to feel bad however in the world of recovery it is rather standard. You also made an additional change 22 days ago. That can add time to you withdrawal. 

 

Here's a brief summary of my experience.  I did a complete stop of Zoloft, with no taper, and then I reinstated and then started on a too fast taper. I suffered for at least 6 months or even more because I kept making changes. Once I started to get a better idea of what I should be doing (from reading on the website) things got a lot easier. I had occasions where I would cut a little more than my body could handle and the symptoms would come back for a few days. Overall though everything was much better.

 

I know you envision years of this. It might be a long time until get off the Mirtazipine, but that doesn't mean you will be suffering for years. Once I found, what was for me, the correct amount to taper it sort of lived in the background of my life. I didn't have symptoms, I just had to deal with tapering and because I was using liquid I had to do some measuring.  Yes things got significantly better.

 

I did get Gabapentin added to the mix to help me get off of the Zoloft, so now I am tapering that. I did recover completely though from the Zoloft. I went back to normal. The symptoms went away. I am telling you this so you don't loose heart.

 

I have read everything that @getofflex said to you and it is excellent advice. It is actually beyond excellent, I would say it is the gold standard.  I understand your frustration because I experienced the exact same feeling. If you can force yourself not make any changes right now it would be really good.

 

Warm wishes.

Hi Rachel!! I do understand I'll have to wait a while and not make any changes for the Mirtazipine. I just can't stop thinking about how I could've prevented all of this if I had just done more research and found this website before it was too late. Im glad I found this website eventually though because if I didn't I would've been put on an anti-psychotic :(( I cannot believe I almost went through with that. Things are really hard right now and I'm scared nothing will change from now on because I've already done so much damage. I can't imagine having to go through this for another year or more, I can only hope for the best though.

Im worried about reinstating Zoloft if I ever want to because I feel like I'm too far out. I tried reinstating in January at a waaaay too high dose and then tried AGAIN in February for 3 days and my body was not having it. Maybe I can think of micro-dosing it?? Im not sure, it feels really risky though. As of now I'm pretty debilitated and am hoping something changes so I can go back to work!! Out of all the symptoms you've had, which ones were the last to go away? And do you think that things are likely to get worse further in? I know everyones different and I should take everything I'm reading with a grain of salt but my body feels like its on fire  It's hard not to think the worst. And I've been reading some stories about Mirtazipine making things worse for some people, who have felt similar burning sensations, so I almost feel trapped. All of this really hurts.

But thank you for everything you've told me !! I really appreciate getting to talk to somebody whose gone through something similar.

-Julia ❤️ 

[getofflex]

The only way we know how to help withdrawal symptoms is to try a small reinstatement.  I could be that the 50 mg was too much for your system.  If you choose, you could try a reinstatement of 5 mg Zoloft.  This is the only way to try to lessen WD symptoms.  I would suggest getting the liquid, which makes it easy to take the small dose.  Please read this link to see how: 

 

Tips for Tapering and Dosing Zoloft

 

Give it at least a week, as it takes this long for it to fully get into your system.  If you feel significantly worse, stop right away.  Here is the topic about reinstatement: 

 

About Reinstating and Stabilizing to Reduce Withdrawal Symptoms

 

The only other option is to stay off the Zoloft and wait for your body to heal naturally.  

 

Whichever option you choose, it is a great idea to learn non drug coping techniques. These skills will serve you well for the rest of your life in other tough situations as well, so they are very worthwhile to learn.  

 

Non Drug Ways to Cope with Withdrawal Symptoms

 

I know this is a really tough situation.  Please realize that you will heal and get better, given time and proper self care.  Many others have been down this road, and have healed eventually.  You have time on your side, as you are young.  Try reading the success stories to help encourage yourself.  

 

Success Stories

 

[getofflex]

8 hours ago, 18yoldoffZoloft said:

And I've been reading some stories about Mirtazipine making things worse for some people, who have felt similar burning sensations, so I almost feel trapped

The burning sensations could also be from the Zoloft WD.  Keep doing the daily journals, to see if you are having an ADR (adverse reaction) to mirtazapine.  

[RachelSusan]

@18yoldoffZoloft

9 hours ago, 18yoldoffZoloft said:

I just can't stop thinking about how I could've prevented all of this if I had just done more research and found this website before it was too late.

 

We are all here because we didn't know.  You are not alone. I wished over and over I knew more and had researched the drugs before I took them.  I wish I had not gone off suddenly. I wish I had made many different decisions early on. I just didn't know though, and you didn't know either.

 

I do agree that your reinstatement was too high, both in January and February. I did the same thing, my reinstatement was too high and I got violently sick.  I did end up reinstating though and I believe it worked for me. I use the word believe because I don't have any way of knowing what would have happened if I didn't reinstate. Getofflex has suggested two options for you. You can stay off the Zoloft or try and reinstate a small amount.  It must be very hard for you to decide what to do. I know that every time I had to make a decision it was pure agony because I wanted to make sure I got it right. People on this site have recovered by reinstating and by not reinstating. You are trying to decide which way will give you fastest recovery. This is really hard for you because you can't see into the future. I feel a lot of compassion for you because of the situation you find yourself in. I imagine by now you are feeling overwhelmed.  Take a deep breath, you are here and whatever you decide your mod will help you. 

 

For me the last symptom to leave were the internal tremors.   I had a ton of other symptoms early on in the process, some of which were feeling dizzy, insomnia, nausea, sweats, chills, arms and legs felt weak. I was wobbly when I would walk and I had those tingly tremors in the legs and arms. I had brain zaps, headaches and head pressure. I felt like I had the flu and a chemical anxiety which is difficult to explain.  I was not able to leave the house, I was not able to function at all. It was a very confusing and bewildering time. I did recover, fully. Let me repeat that, I had a full recovery.

 

I have a lot of compassion for you.  You are in a difficult situation and you are suffering. Time will help you.

 

[18yoldoffZoloft]

6 hours ago, getofflex said:

The only way we know how to help withdrawal symptoms is to try a small reinstatement.  I could be that the 50 mg was too much for your system.  If you choose, you could try a reinstatement of 5 mg Zoloft.  This is the only way to try to lessen WD symptoms.  I would suggest getting the liquid, which makes it easy to take the small dose.  Please read this link to see how: 

 

Tips for Tapering and Dosing Zoloft

 

Give it at least a week, as it takes this long for it to fully get into your system.  If you feel significantly worse, stop right away.  Here is the topic about reinstatement: 

 

About Reinstating and Stabilizing to Reduce Withdrawal Symptoms

 

The only other option is to stay off the Zoloft and wait for your body to heal naturally.  

 

Whichever option you choose, it is a great idea to learn non drug coping techniques. These skills will serve you well for the rest of your life in other tough situations as well, so they are very worthwhile to learn.  

 

Non Drug Ways to Cope with Withdrawal Symptoms

 

I know this is a really tough situation.  Please realize that you will heal and get better, given time and proper self care.  Many others have been down this road, and have healed eventually.  You have time on your side, as you are young.  Try reading the success stories to help encourage yourself.  

 

Success Stories

 

 

I don't know if this is something worth mentioning but I tried going back on Zoloft for two days mid-february, probably at like 25mg or 50mg I don't remember. But this was while I was taking Mirtazipine. I took it for two days and had suicidal thoughts, sweating, diarrhea so I stopped. Could trying to reinstate for a third time cause problems? I know I tried going on a way too high of a dose both times so should I try just a tiny amount, maybe 0.5 mg? I feel like 5 mg could be too much because my body is already in a lot of stress. It's also been about 4 months since I stopped taking Zoloft so I know its risky.

 

I still don't know whats causing the burning, racing heart, adrenaline, breathlessness its only really picked up the past few days and is always there. 

 

Thank you again :))

 

[18yoldoffZoloft]

6 hours ago, getofflex said:

The burning sensations could also be from the Zoloft WD.  Keep doing the daily journals, to see if you are having an ADR (adverse reaction) to mirtazapine.  

6 hours ago, getofflex said:

The burning sensations could also be from the Zoloft WD.  Keep doing the daily journals, to see if you are having an ADR (adverse reaction) to mirtazapine.  

 

March 15

 

9 am- woke up, inner anxiety

10 am- tried to go back to sleep makes anxiety worse

11 am- got up, used nicotine, heartburn

12 pm- strange good feeling washed over me, sense of calm

1 pm- inner anxiety but less, overall positive mood (probably a mindset thing)

2:30 pm- ate 

3 pm- inner anxiety, sleepy, lightheaded. need to lie down, heart racing

4 pm- head is burning, heart racing, out of breath,and im sitting down! feel mentally okay though?

5 pm- small hike, feel lightheaded, brain fog, body burns

6 pm- brain fog, bit of inner anxiety

7 pm-8 pm- brain fog

8:30 pm- ate dinner

9 pm- head burns

10 pm- chest pressure, burning still

10:30 pm- took 7.5 mg mirtazipine 

11 pm- 12 am- sleep