mich37: need help. 6 years off CT, protracted withdrawal

[mich37]

Hi i am 42 years old and i want to share my story about psychiatric meds.

On october 2007 i had burn out and became depressed and had panic attacks. This time around i had stressed live i guess. New relationship, new job....

I was put on Paroxat(paxil) 30mg. After 4 months it got better and i was quite happy for 5 years.

I started to wean off Paxil starting with 20mg and last year 10mg. When i stopped it on 2013 i got strange neuropatic pain in my legs and depression, anxiety came back. After that time my life till now was hell. 2013 i was put every month for 6 months on different ads last i remember was Wellbutrin and Effexor. In 2013 december i decided to CT both. I didnt know about CT. Again physical pain was to much for me . So i was placed in 2014 In psych ward and in one month i was released in one month with Cymbalta 60mg, Seroquel 75mg and Lamictal 150mg. Next two years till october 2016 i was in pain everyday. I decided to quit again every meds.

It was hell and till today still is.

My symptoms when i quit everything:

1 year:

Burning skin for 1 year

No sleep for days

2 year: 

I couldnt feel my legs for 6 months

Head presure every day for 3 hrs till last year 2022

3 year:

Body pain pressure till last year 2022.

4 year:

Weird sensations in my body (electricity, tremors)

5 year:

Weird sensations in my body (electricity, tremors)

6 year

Weird sensations in my body (electricity, tremors)

Present and also all years:

Anxiety, depression, neuropathy in my feet, hands and head (pins and needles). 

Weird sensations in my body (electricity, tremors)

Fatigue

Sometimes dereliazation and depersonalization.

Sometimes intrusive thoughts

Agoraphobia 

 

Last window i had was in february for one week.

That week was only my fatigue and neurpatic pain and some anxiety.

 

After that week i am in bad wave and i lost hope for everything. Anhedonia, anxiety, depersonalization, body pain.  

 

I am sorry i didnt start writing before about me. I checked this forum few times but didnt have courage to write. But now i am scared for my life and i lost all hope to get well.

Any advice?

Thanks

 

Sorry for my bad english.

Edited March 7, 2023 by Gridley

[Gridley]

Welcome to SA, mich37.  I'm very sorry you're going through this.

 

To give members the best information, we ask them to summarize their medication history in a signature -- drugs, doses, dates, and discontinuations & reinstatements.  Most of the information we need is in your post.  It just needs to be taken out and put into a list format.  We don't need symptoms.  Please use this link.

 

Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature.

 

The symptoms you list are very typical of withdrawal, and protracted withdrawal such as yours is not uncommon.  In our experience with protracted withdrawal, the outlook for you is very good: in short, you will heal.  The fact that the body pain and head pressure you'd been experiencing for years ceased in 2022 is extremely encouraging and points the way toward more healing.  The window you experienced in February, and the fact that last week you only had three symptoms, are further indications that you are healing--that you are going to be okay.  

 

Altostrata, the founder and owner of this site, was in lengthy protracted withdrawal from your initial drug, Paxil, and today has healed and recovered.  I think you'll find her story helpful.

About Altostrata -- 11 years of protracted antidepressant …

Here is some information on withdrawal that will give you a better understanding of what you've been experiencing.

 

What is withdrawal syndrome.

 

Brain Remodelling 

 

Video:  Healing From Antidepressants - Patterns of Recovery

 

Daily Checklist of Antidepressant Withdrawal Symptoms (PDF) 

 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

We don't recommend a lot of supplements on SA, as many members report being sensitive to them due to our over-reactive nervous systems, but two supplements that we do recommend are magnesium (glycinate is a good form) and omega 3 (fish oil). Many people find these to be calming to the nervous system. 

 

Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker 

 

Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil) 

 

Add in one at a time and at a low dose in case you do experience problems.

 

We also recommend non-drug techniques for dealing with withdrawal, and many members have found these helpful.  Take a look at the techniques in the following link and see which you think might be helpful.

 

Non-drug techniques to cope

 

This is your introduction topic -- the place for you to ask questions, record symptoms, share your progress, and connect with other members of the SA community.  I hope you’ll find the information in the SA forums helpful for your situation.  I'm sorry that you are in the position that you need the information, but I am glad that you found us.

 

 

 

 

[mich37]

Thanks for all info. 

Will look into.

I edited my signature.

 

 

[mich37]

Is it possible to recover after so many years?

I dont have any good memory of how normal life is almost 10 years and i am always in panic state. 

[mich37]

Do u think it is safe to start gabapentin or anything in low dose for all my withdrawals symptoms? Last medications Cymbalta, Lamictal, Seroquel didnt do much ether. Pain and all my other symptoms are too much. I cannot afford to lose job, etc ...

[mich37]

Anyone? 

I am thinking to start with low dose of gabapentin because my neuropathy in my feet didnt improve not a bit in 10 years. I have a feeling i have went through 6 years hell of withdrawals for nothing. 

Any recommendations for all trauma i went through? How can i deal sth like that wont happen again when i have anxiety problems?