joannatm Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 6 years ago had baby number 2. Ended up post natal. They put me on sertraline. Wasn't working on me great so eventually went up to 200mg. Since Dec 14 I tapered off. Finishing in April 15. I've been suffering with anxiety and tears negative thoughts ever since. In waves and windows. Now nearing 7 months and going through a wave if tears last week and this. I feel maybe I should go back on but my heart of hearts and also hubby and friends say stick it out as I have good days too. Mornings are bad at times. May 2003 prozac for six months after having first child. Came off taper slow. No withdrawals. December 2009 10mg citalopram after second child. January 2010 up to 20mg kinda helped. Not much. July 2010 taper off within a month. Side affects of tiredness tears. Doctor said I depressed still. Oct 2010 Went back doctor they put me on sertraline 20mg and went to cbt therapy. Doctor kept upping it as wasn't feeling better to 200mg. December 2014 felt better started to reduce by 4 tablets to 3 then to 2 then 1 and half. Four five weeks gap between. Stopped at 25mg in April 2015.7 months no meds.
calithebold Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 Hi Joannatm Welcome to SA. I'm sorry to hear you have been struggling so much. Everyone here know what it's like being on these terrible drugs and what it's like trying to come off them. If you hang on tight a mod should be with you soon All medications:: Xanax (1995-96), Aropax (1995-96), Mellaril (1997-2000), Efexor (1997-2002), Seroquel (2000-now), Lithium Carbonate (2000-now), Avanza (2002-05), Epilim (2005), Seroquel-XR (2000-now), Zyprexa (2002-14), Raberprazole (2000-now prn), Crestor (2009-15), Gabapentin (2009-12), Lamictal (2010-now), Abilify (2011-now) Lyrica (2012-now), Diazepam (2010-now prn), Saphris (2014), Respiridone (2014), Chlorpromazine (2014) Neulatil (07/2016) Current medications: Lithium Carbonate 750mg; Seroquel-XR 600mg, 800mg 04/16, 600mg 04/16, 400mg 04/16, 200mg 04/16, 400mg 04/16, 500mg 04/16; Lamictal 250mg 200mg150mg 04/16; Lyrica 300mg; Abilify 20mg 30mg 11/15 Zoloft 25mg 04/16 ceased after a week due to severe suicidal thoughts; Seroquel 25mg prn; Diazepam 40mg CT Jan 2013, 5mg occasionally, (massive med changes in April 2016 due to a hospital admission). Supplements: Fish oil 4000mg, Magnesium 100mg , Niacinamide 1000mg, Slippery Elm 800mg , B12 1000mcg, Zinc 50mg, B6 100mg, Vitamin D 2000IU, Calcium 1200mg, P5P 100mg, Vitamin C 2000mg, Vitamin E 400IU
Moderator Emeritus bubble Posted October 7, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Posted October 7, 2015 Hello Joannatm and welcome to SA. Many of us here, myself included have been through what you are describing. Some of us many times not understanding what went wrong. I believe the links I will post for you will answer many of your questions. It seems you have been taking quite a large dose of Sertraline (200 mg) for 6 years. Could you add more details about your drug history in your signature as described here: Please put your withdrawal history in your signature Since you have periods when you feel better (windows) and since it's been almost six months since your last dose I wouldn't reinstate. It seems also that you didn't have a prior history with psychotropic medication or taken more drugs which should all make it easier for your brain to remodel itself to functioning without the drug. It might take months for the symptoms to gradually lessen in intensity but you will get there. As I said, it seems you are experiencing this: The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization as a result of going through What is withdrawal syndrome? There are many ideas that help us deal with particular symptoms in our Symptoms and self-care section. Many people do better with fish oil and magnesium supplements, seehttp://survivinganti...acids-fish-oil/http://survivinganti...hannel-blocker/ Let us know how you are doing. Best, Bubble Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2 2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013) Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg. 2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days afterreinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours 28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr 2015 1 mg, 25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64 Xanax 9 month hold 24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26 Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading.
Nomoreheadmeds Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 Welcome 'joannatm' Sertraline 100mg amytrip 60mg diazepam 4mg (and when needed) since late 90's.Reduced all meds over 6 wks (too short) last doses 13 wks ago.Still having withdrawals.I would have done it differently 5th august 2015 reinstated 5mg amytripiline.increased to 10mg amtrip 9th sept 2015.
joannatm Posted October 7, 2015 Author Posted October 7, 2015 Thanks so much for advice and links. It's kinda nice to know others feel the same in a strange way. I think some days I feel alone but I not. I keep thinking I should be back to norm happy with life my family friends work fub etc but I feel so distant like I'm outside looking in. It scares me. That I can't believe kids are mine like they are strangers some days. I'm very close to them and push those feelings aside but feel them lurking. Hate this feeling. I feel I'm missing out on every moment of their lives feeling this negative. I was never like this. This week I'm so tearful it's horrible. I hate getting up in mornings as feel anxious and negative thoughts start up especially weekends. Sorry to go on. I frustrated as think this is me now and that's it get used to it! Too frightened to go doctors as feel they put me on more drugs. May 2003 prozac for six months after having first child. Came off taper slow. No withdrawals. December 2009 10mg citalopram after second child. January 2010 up to 20mg kinda helped. Not much. July 2010 taper off within a month. Side affects of tiredness tears. Doctor said I depressed still. Oct 2010 Went back doctor they put me on sertraline 20mg and went to cbt therapy. Doctor kept upping it as wasn't feeling better to 200mg. December 2014 felt better started to reduce by 4 tablets to 3 then to 2 then 1 and half. Four five weeks gap between. Stopped at 25mg in April 2015.7 months no meds.
Administrator Altostrata Posted October 7, 2015 Administrator Posted October 7, 2015 Welcome, joanna. Your feelings are "normal" for withdrawal syndrome, which will very gradually fade over time. Please look around our Symptoms and Self-care forum http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/forum/8-symptoms-and-self-care/for suggestions about how to cope with symptoms, including emotional ones. Many people do better with fish oil and magnesium supplements, seehttp://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1300-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/ This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted.
joannatm Posted October 7, 2015 Author Posted October 7, 2015 Thank you so very much. I will have a good read. I'm taking Berrocca at mo as got recommended. So pleased found your site. X May 2003 prozac for six months after having first child. Came off taper slow. No withdrawals. December 2009 10mg citalopram after second child. January 2010 up to 20mg kinda helped. Not much. July 2010 taper off within a month. Side affects of tiredness tears. Doctor said I depressed still. Oct 2010 Went back doctor they put me on sertraline 20mg and went to cbt therapy. Doctor kept upping it as wasn't feeling better to 200mg. December 2014 felt better started to reduce by 4 tablets to 3 then to 2 then 1 and half. Four five weeks gap between. Stopped at 25mg in April 2015.7 months no meds.
KT38 Posted October 12, 2015 Posted October 12, 2015 Hi joannatm! You and I jumped off about the same time. What you are feeling is completely normal. We are in month 7 and to think this is STILL going on is very very taxing on our mind and soul. I tried chelated magnesium Last Sun through Tues and then on Fri I got very very very bad symptom-wise....like back to acute. I also go a cold that day, too, and for the past 4 days I have been in misery with hyperarousal, extreme anxiety (more than my usual awful withdrawal anxiety), internal vibrations, fizzling head, etc.... I don't know what caused it (magnesium or cold), or if is just a natural wave, but if you start experimenting with supplements be very very careful and take a very small dose. Our systems are still super sensitive right now. Dec 2014 I tried Zoloft 25mg for one week (adverse reaction - extreme anxiety and felt like I was on an amphetamine). Dr. said to quit cold turkey, so I not only quit Zoloft but also 2 weeks of Xanax .25mg -- extreme dizziness, hyperarousal and anxiety began! On Jan. 29, 2015 my psychiatrist put me on new stuff and this is how my next 2 months and 7 days looked like (I was having the same bad reactions to all of these):Effexor XR 37.5mg (3 days) - throwing up, heart palpations, night tremors/convulsions or something where whole body shakes for a second, Prozac 10mg (15 days), Prozac 20mg (7 days) - internal restlessness, electric current through body/brain (not zaps), agitation, intense fear and could no longer nap at this point (still can't today because of this), Lexapro 5mg (4 days) - same as Prozac, a horror show...extreme internal agitation, Lexapro 7.5mg (2 days), Lexapro 10mg (16 days), Zoloft 12.5mg (3 days)...she said try it again since my blood relative does well on it, Zoloft 25mg (7 days) - same as before and getting worse!! Zoloft 50mg (6 days), Zoloft 25mg (4 days and then came off cold turkey on April 8, 2015). I used Xanax .25mg about 7 times per month through all of this until June 30, 2015 (my last benzo dose). Extreme anxiety, nervous system traumatized, mental akathisia, anger triggered by nothing but the brain totally going off on its own, feeling of a pressurized electric current going through me like my brain and body are trying to explode, stress reaction x10000 to everything, waking in terror lasting all day, fear, very sensitive, brain can't keep up, don't know what to do with myself, feeling like everything is going too fast and I can't keep up, helium head, deep depression like something is ripping out my soul, out of my mind, can hardly drive or be alone, cognitive issues, simple tasks are so complex and straining, feel disturbed because the brain can't process anything right even though your brain tries so hard and it makes you go mad, episodes of deep anguish with a sick toxic poison feeling (like you have some unknown virus).
Moderator Emeritus JanCarol Posted October 13, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Posted October 13, 2015 Hey Joannatm - welcome to SA! Here you will find people who have experienced better and worse outcomes than yourself. So many women come in here because doctors apparently have no understanding of the nutritional needs of mothers - so many women end up on the drugs in a post-natal condition which may have been corrected through other means (such as nutrition, thyroid, or even enzyme supplements). Berocca may be overstimulating for you. It's got a bunch of B Vitamins and such - that to a healthy person might be just right - but to a person in withdrawal could emphasize your symptoms, and make your recovery more rocky. You need calming things, like magnesium (please read the links above - the magnesium at most chemists is Mag Oxide, which is about as good as chewing rocks!), quiet, dark, rest. Lemon balm tea might be good for you. Here is how withdrawal works (as described by Our Rhi of SA): Rhi's description of healing the brain So it is important that you be gentle and patient with yourself. So are you downunder? (I ask because Berocca is really common here, hubby loves the stuff) Again, welcome! And I hope you saw the sun today (we are getting ready to rain on the right coast!). "Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again. My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices. A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia. CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013. Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine). Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 - Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years on Lithium). Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made. The tedious thread (my intro): JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium The happy thread (my success story): JanCarol - Undiagnosed Off all bipolar drugs My own blog: https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/ I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!
joannatm Posted October 13, 2015 Author Posted October 13, 2015 Hi everyone Thanks such for advice and chats. Keep strong we will get through it. Can't believe how many are going through same symptoms I've had five kinda good days. Yesterday back to norm then today 3 pm I started to have negative thoughts and feeling anxious and sad and bored feeling. Thing is I'm too busy to be bored so can't understand why these thoughts came into head. I'm also having bad pmt pains to go with it so that don't help.i also find colds make me feel worse and I too have one. I'm from UK and we into it too. My new Zealand friend recommended it too. Feel it helps. I check out websites. Big thanks. Keep strong. Xx May 2003 prozac for six months after having first child. Came off taper slow. No withdrawals. December 2009 10mg citalopram after second child. January 2010 up to 20mg kinda helped. Not much. July 2010 taper off within a month. Side affects of tiredness tears. Doctor said I depressed still. Oct 2010 Went back doctor they put me on sertraline 20mg and went to cbt therapy. Doctor kept upping it as wasn't feeling better to 200mg. December 2014 felt better started to reduce by 4 tablets to 3 then to 2 then 1 and half. Four five weeks gap between. Stopped at 25mg in April 2015.7 months no meds.
joannatm Posted October 14, 2015 Author Posted October 14, 2015 Hi kt38 how you feeling today. Hope coming out of wave. I wake up and try not to think about how I feel but it just comes into my head. So annoying. Mornings are worse Thanks for advice everyone. x May 2003 prozac for six months after having first child. Came off taper slow. No withdrawals. December 2009 10mg citalopram after second child. January 2010 up to 20mg kinda helped. Not much. July 2010 taper off within a month. Side affects of tiredness tears. Doctor said I depressed still. Oct 2010 Went back doctor they put me on sertraline 20mg and went to cbt therapy. Doctor kept upping it as wasn't feeling better to 200mg. December 2014 felt better started to reduce by 4 tablets to 3 then to 2 then 1 and half. Four five weeks gap between. Stopped at 25mg in April 2015.7 months no meds.
KT38 Posted October 14, 2015 Posted October 14, 2015 I'm still having a bad time. I think I definitely have akathisia, but the internal kind....not the movement part -- agitation , sensations of movement and pressure , electrical surges/current in different parts of the body and a sense of dread and terror. Dec 2014 I tried Zoloft 25mg for one week (adverse reaction - extreme anxiety and felt like I was on an amphetamine). Dr. said to quit cold turkey, so I not only quit Zoloft but also 2 weeks of Xanax .25mg -- extreme dizziness, hyperarousal and anxiety began! On Jan. 29, 2015 my psychiatrist put me on new stuff and this is how my next 2 months and 7 days looked like (I was having the same bad reactions to all of these):Effexor XR 37.5mg (3 days) - throwing up, heart palpations, night tremors/convulsions or something where whole body shakes for a second, Prozac 10mg (15 days), Prozac 20mg (7 days) - internal restlessness, electric current through body/brain (not zaps), agitation, intense fear and could no longer nap at this point (still can't today because of this), Lexapro 5mg (4 days) - same as Prozac, a horror show...extreme internal agitation, Lexapro 7.5mg (2 days), Lexapro 10mg (16 days), Zoloft 12.5mg (3 days)...she said try it again since my blood relative does well on it, Zoloft 25mg (7 days) - same as before and getting worse!! Zoloft 50mg (6 days), Zoloft 25mg (4 days and then came off cold turkey on April 8, 2015). I used Xanax .25mg about 7 times per month through all of this until June 30, 2015 (my last benzo dose). Extreme anxiety, nervous system traumatized, mental akathisia, anger triggered by nothing but the brain totally going off on its own, feeling of a pressurized electric current going through me like my brain and body are trying to explode, stress reaction x10000 to everything, waking in terror lasting all day, fear, very sensitive, brain can't keep up, don't know what to do with myself, feeling like everything is going too fast and I can't keep up, helium head, deep depression like something is ripping out my soul, out of my mind, can hardly drive or be alone, cognitive issues, simple tasks are so complex and straining, feel disturbed because the brain can't process anything right even though your brain tries so hard and it makes you go mad, episodes of deep anguish with a sick toxic poison feeling (like you have some unknown virus).
joannatm Posted October 14, 2015 Author Posted October 14, 2015 That's awful for you. Will it eventually fade? I have dreaded feelings and some feelings of being outside a bubble looking in at my family. Sometimes feel I not my sons mother. Can't properly explain. But it upsets me thinking like that weird thoughts feelings. I also get very anxious at times and can't sit down. Worse on mornings. Do hope it all fades x May 2003 prozac for six months after having first child. Came off taper slow. No withdrawals. December 2009 10mg citalopram after second child. January 2010 up to 20mg kinda helped. Not much. July 2010 taper off within a month. Side affects of tiredness tears. Doctor said I depressed still. Oct 2010 Went back doctor they put me on sertraline 20mg and went to cbt therapy. Doctor kept upping it as wasn't feeling better to 200mg. December 2014 felt better started to reduce by 4 tablets to 3 then to 2 then 1 and half. Four five weeks gap between. Stopped at 25mg in April 2015.7 months no meds.
joannatm Posted October 15, 2015 Author Posted October 15, 2015 Blooming awful day today. Tears and anxiety. Hating this feeling x May 2003 prozac for six months after having first child. Came off taper slow. No withdrawals. December 2009 10mg citalopram after second child. January 2010 up to 20mg kinda helped. Not much. July 2010 taper off within a month. Side affects of tiredness tears. Doctor said I depressed still. Oct 2010 Went back doctor they put me on sertraline 20mg and went to cbt therapy. Doctor kept upping it as wasn't feeling better to 200mg. December 2014 felt better started to reduce by 4 tablets to 3 then to 2 then 1 and half. Four five weeks gap between. Stopped at 25mg in April 2015.7 months no meds.
KT38 Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 I hope it fades! Sorry to hear you had a bad day. I am trying to see this as a wave and to know to even call it a wave is HUGE. This was CONSTANT the first few months, so I must have had some improvement and not realize it. I hope your day is MUCH better tomorrow!! Hang in there!!! You were very smart to taper. Dec 2014 I tried Zoloft 25mg for one week (adverse reaction - extreme anxiety and felt like I was on an amphetamine). Dr. said to quit cold turkey, so I not only quit Zoloft but also 2 weeks of Xanax .25mg -- extreme dizziness, hyperarousal and anxiety began! On Jan. 29, 2015 my psychiatrist put me on new stuff and this is how my next 2 months and 7 days looked like (I was having the same bad reactions to all of these):Effexor XR 37.5mg (3 days) - throwing up, heart palpations, night tremors/convulsions or something where whole body shakes for a second, Prozac 10mg (15 days), Prozac 20mg (7 days) - internal restlessness, electric current through body/brain (not zaps), agitation, intense fear and could no longer nap at this point (still can't today because of this), Lexapro 5mg (4 days) - same as Prozac, a horror show...extreme internal agitation, Lexapro 7.5mg (2 days), Lexapro 10mg (16 days), Zoloft 12.5mg (3 days)...she said try it again since my blood relative does well on it, Zoloft 25mg (7 days) - same as before and getting worse!! Zoloft 50mg (6 days), Zoloft 25mg (4 days and then came off cold turkey on April 8, 2015). I used Xanax .25mg about 7 times per month through all of this until June 30, 2015 (my last benzo dose). Extreme anxiety, nervous system traumatized, mental akathisia, anger triggered by nothing but the brain totally going off on its own, feeling of a pressurized electric current going through me like my brain and body are trying to explode, stress reaction x10000 to everything, waking in terror lasting all day, fear, very sensitive, brain can't keep up, don't know what to do with myself, feeling like everything is going too fast and I can't keep up, helium head, deep depression like something is ripping out my soul, out of my mind, can hardly drive or be alone, cognitive issues, simple tasks are so complex and straining, feel disturbed because the brain can't process anything right even though your brain tries so hard and it makes you go mad, episodes of deep anguish with a sick toxic poison feeling (like you have some unknown virus).
joannatm Posted October 17, 2015 Author Posted October 17, 2015 Another tearful and anxious day for no reason. Very tired too. But I find just after pmt I get like this lately for a good week. How you getting on? Hoping you coming out of wave. Can the waves come and go frequently on a weekly basis? I keep thinking now this is me and I got to live and get used to being up and down all time. Too scared to ho back doctors as don't want to touch any more AD. x May 2003 prozac for six months after having first child. Came off taper slow. No withdrawals. December 2009 10mg citalopram after second child. January 2010 up to 20mg kinda helped. Not much. July 2010 taper off within a month. Side affects of tiredness tears. Doctor said I depressed still. Oct 2010 Went back doctor they put me on sertraline 20mg and went to cbt therapy. Doctor kept upping it as wasn't feeling better to 200mg. December 2014 felt better started to reduce by 4 tablets to 3 then to 2 then 1 and half. Four five weeks gap between. Stopped at 25mg in April 2015.7 months no meds.
KT38 Posted October 17, 2015 Posted October 17, 2015 Yes, I am bad the day of my period (very dizzy, too) until at least a week after it stops. I am still in my massive wave, but hear it's normal to get slammed around this mark for some reason. I have been on a consistent wave the whole time (I had an adverse reaction to the meds, so it's part that), but have had tiny windows. Waves and windows are so unpredictable as well as how long they last. This wave now I am smart enough to call a wave so it shows I guess I have had SOME improvement if I can distinguish this...or it just means I'm getting worse. Who knows. Just keep holding on for the ride. I know we have kids and responsibilities, but please make sure your other half can do a lot of tasks. I still can't leave the house alone. I know if I'm doing a little better if I can feel for my kids and family and be there for their needs. The other times I am literally too out of my mind in mental and physical craziness I have to buckle down and just try to keep myself alive. That is why it's so important for me to have my husband work from home. I'm a bad case. Dec 2014 I tried Zoloft 25mg for one week (adverse reaction - extreme anxiety and felt like I was on an amphetamine). Dr. said to quit cold turkey, so I not only quit Zoloft but also 2 weeks of Xanax .25mg -- extreme dizziness, hyperarousal and anxiety began! On Jan. 29, 2015 my psychiatrist put me on new stuff and this is how my next 2 months and 7 days looked like (I was having the same bad reactions to all of these):Effexor XR 37.5mg (3 days) - throwing up, heart palpations, night tremors/convulsions or something where whole body shakes for a second, Prozac 10mg (15 days), Prozac 20mg (7 days) - internal restlessness, electric current through body/brain (not zaps), agitation, intense fear and could no longer nap at this point (still can't today because of this), Lexapro 5mg (4 days) - same as Prozac, a horror show...extreme internal agitation, Lexapro 7.5mg (2 days), Lexapro 10mg (16 days), Zoloft 12.5mg (3 days)...she said try it again since my blood relative does well on it, Zoloft 25mg (7 days) - same as before and getting worse!! Zoloft 50mg (6 days), Zoloft 25mg (4 days and then came off cold turkey on April 8, 2015). I used Xanax .25mg about 7 times per month through all of this until June 30, 2015 (my last benzo dose). Extreme anxiety, nervous system traumatized, mental akathisia, anger triggered by nothing but the brain totally going off on its own, feeling of a pressurized electric current going through me like my brain and body are trying to explode, stress reaction x10000 to everything, waking in terror lasting all day, fear, very sensitive, brain can't keep up, don't know what to do with myself, feeling like everything is going too fast and I can't keep up, helium head, deep depression like something is ripping out my soul, out of my mind, can hardly drive or be alone, cognitive issues, simple tasks are so complex and straining, feel disturbed because the brain can't process anything right even though your brain tries so hard and it makes you go mad, episodes of deep anguish with a sick toxic poison feeling (like you have some unknown virus).
joannatm Posted October 18, 2015 Author Posted October 18, 2015 It sounds like you have a very supportive hubby and children. Makes a big difference. Also looks like it's a slow process for you too and try be positive that you do have the odd windows now. Keep strong my dear xx May 2003 prozac for six months after having first child. Came off taper slow. No withdrawals. December 2009 10mg citalopram after second child. January 2010 up to 20mg kinda helped. Not much. July 2010 taper off within a month. Side affects of tiredness tears. Doctor said I depressed still. Oct 2010 Went back doctor they put me on sertraline 20mg and went to cbt therapy. Doctor kept upping it as wasn't feeling better to 200mg. December 2014 felt better started to reduce by 4 tablets to 3 then to 2 then 1 and half. Four five weeks gap between. Stopped at 25mg in April 2015.7 months no meds.
joannatm Posted October 27, 2015 Author Posted October 27, 2015 How ya doing kt38? I've had two good weeks and the odd bad day. Hoping window gets longer. Xx May 2003 prozac for six months after having first child. Came off taper slow. No withdrawals. December 2009 10mg citalopram after second child. January 2010 up to 20mg kinda helped. Not much. July 2010 taper off within a month. Side affects of tiredness tears. Doctor said I depressed still. Oct 2010 Went back doctor they put me on sertraline 20mg and went to cbt therapy. Doctor kept upping it as wasn't feeling better to 200mg. December 2014 felt better started to reduce by 4 tablets to 3 then to 2 then 1 and half. Four five weeks gap between. Stopped at 25mg in April 2015.7 months no meds.
KT38 Posted October 28, 2015 Posted October 28, 2015 I had 3 better days (not as mental or had a couple hours where I was and then wasn't)....today is extreme depression with that sinking feeling in your stomach and that you are all alone in the world that makes you want to cry for no reason. I feel that my symptoms change constantly, but are usually always never good ugh (dizziness, anxiety, panic, mind blankness, depression, etc...). The only good thing out of this is that I sleep pretty awesome at night. I wish I could nap again. That is great you had a good 2 weeks!!!!!! Does it seem like everything is waxing and waning more for you? Do you ever have any days with no symptoms at all? Dec 2014 I tried Zoloft 25mg for one week (adverse reaction - extreme anxiety and felt like I was on an amphetamine). Dr. said to quit cold turkey, so I not only quit Zoloft but also 2 weeks of Xanax .25mg -- extreme dizziness, hyperarousal and anxiety began! On Jan. 29, 2015 my psychiatrist put me on new stuff and this is how my next 2 months and 7 days looked like (I was having the same bad reactions to all of these):Effexor XR 37.5mg (3 days) - throwing up, heart palpations, night tremors/convulsions or something where whole body shakes for a second, Prozac 10mg (15 days), Prozac 20mg (7 days) - internal restlessness, electric current through body/brain (not zaps), agitation, intense fear and could no longer nap at this point (still can't today because of this), Lexapro 5mg (4 days) - same as Prozac, a horror show...extreme internal agitation, Lexapro 7.5mg (2 days), Lexapro 10mg (16 days), Zoloft 12.5mg (3 days)...she said try it again since my blood relative does well on it, Zoloft 25mg (7 days) - same as before and getting worse!! Zoloft 50mg (6 days), Zoloft 25mg (4 days and then came off cold turkey on April 8, 2015). I used Xanax .25mg about 7 times per month through all of this until June 30, 2015 (my last benzo dose). Extreme anxiety, nervous system traumatized, mental akathisia, anger triggered by nothing but the brain totally going off on its own, feeling of a pressurized electric current going through me like my brain and body are trying to explode, stress reaction x10000 to everything, waking in terror lasting all day, fear, very sensitive, brain can't keep up, don't know what to do with myself, feeling like everything is going too fast and I can't keep up, helium head, deep depression like something is ripping out my soul, out of my mind, can hardly drive or be alone, cognitive issues, simple tasks are so complex and straining, feel disturbed because the brain can't process anything right even though your brain tries so hard and it makes you go mad, episodes of deep anguish with a sick toxic poison feeling (like you have some unknown virus).
Moderator Emeritus JanCarol Posted October 28, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Posted October 28, 2015 That's terrific that you are having windows joannatm! It's a "normal" withdrawal pattern (as if anything about these drugs is "normal!") Here's how others experience Waves and Windows Each window you have shows that systems are coming "back online." It's a very complicated repair, the brain and nervous system, and parts of it will come online for testing, then may go away again while other systems are repairing. Be gentle and patient with yourself. You can do this. "Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again. My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices. A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia. CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013. Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine). Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 - Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years on Lithium). Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made. The tedious thread (my intro): JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium The happy thread (my success story): JanCarol - Undiagnosed Off all bipolar drugs My own blog: https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/ I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!
joannatm Posted October 29, 2015 Author Posted October 29, 2015 I had quite a few days no symptoms but last few days feel anxious negative thoughts etc again. Gutted as get hopes up and then feel awful. Do feel for you kt38 not getting much let up. At least you've had few days that's a start. Xxxxx May 2003 prozac for six months after having first child. Came off taper slow. No withdrawals. December 2009 10mg citalopram after second child. January 2010 up to 20mg kinda helped. Not much. July 2010 taper off within a month. Side affects of tiredness tears. Doctor said I depressed still. Oct 2010 Went back doctor they put me on sertraline 20mg and went to cbt therapy. Doctor kept upping it as wasn't feeling better to 200mg. December 2014 felt better started to reduce by 4 tablets to 3 then to 2 then 1 and half. Four five weeks gap between. Stopped at 25mg in April 2015.7 months no meds.
KLA324 Posted October 29, 2015 Posted October 29, 2015 Hi Joanna - it's good you had a few days with little symptoms. Cherish those days. I came off Sertraline as well and then, months later, I've had to reinstate with Citalopram. I know just how you feel - the anxiousness and negative thoughts are difficult to overcome. I had one of those days yesterday and I was unable to go to work. As difficult as it is, try to take it a day at a time. Go to sleep each night with the hope that the next morning will be a window. Karen 1999-Wellbutrin for anxiety/depression-CT after less than 1 yr with no prob 2000-2010-AD (can't remember which) a few times for a few months-CT each time with no prob 2012 - Ambien (sleep) and Propanolol (public speaking anxiety) Jan 2013 - Apr 2014 - Sertraline (25, then 50mg) Ambien after bout with depression Apr 2014 - Apr 2015 - Sertraline 100mg and Amitriptylene 25mg-CT in May/June. Did notice increased anxiety, moodiness. Aug/Sept 2015 - Trazodone 50mg (11 days for sleep), Phentermine 37.5mg 11 days), Tramadol 50mg (2 days for kidney stone pain) Oct 2nd - CT from Trazodone and Phentermine - CRASHED 2 days later. Severe depression, anxiety, constant crying RI Oct 15th - Citalopram 10mg daily, Vitamin D, Fish Oil Capsule, Magnesium, Simply Sleep at night. Will start weaning 11/15 if stable.
joannatm Posted October 29, 2015 Author Posted October 29, 2015 So going back on tablets you think helped? I really don't want to go back on them. I just have such negative thoughts and loneliness when I not lonely. Drives me made and frustrated. I have no enthusiasm to do anything last day or two. X May 2003 prozac for six months after having first child. Came off taper slow. No withdrawals. December 2009 10mg citalopram after second child. January 2010 up to 20mg kinda helped. Not much. July 2010 taper off within a month. Side affects of tiredness tears. Doctor said I depressed still. Oct 2010 Went back doctor they put me on sertraline 20mg and went to cbt therapy. Doctor kept upping it as wasn't feeling better to 200mg. December 2014 felt better started to reduce by 4 tablets to 3 then to 2 then 1 and half. Four five weeks gap between. Stopped at 25mg in April 2015.7 months no meds.
Administrator Altostrata Posted October 29, 2015 Administrator Posted October 29, 2015 Hello, joanna. Taking a very small amount of sertraline, perhaps even 1mg, might help. See Tips for tapering off Zoloft (sertraline) for instructions about how to take a very small dose. You would take this for a while and taper off by tiny amounts later. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted.
joannatm Posted October 30, 2015 Author Posted October 30, 2015 It's just I feel I've come this far I really don't fancy going back on them. I'm just so frustrated. I will keep going as I know I have windows and a lot more windows. I wasn't good on sertraline felt rubbish on them x May 2003 prozac for six months after having first child. Came off taper slow. No withdrawals. December 2009 10mg citalopram after second child. January 2010 up to 20mg kinda helped. Not much. July 2010 taper off within a month. Side affects of tiredness tears. Doctor said I depressed still. Oct 2010 Went back doctor they put me on sertraline 20mg and went to cbt therapy. Doctor kept upping it as wasn't feeling better to 200mg. December 2014 felt better started to reduce by 4 tablets to 3 then to 2 then 1 and half. Four five weeks gap between. Stopped at 25mg in April 2015.7 months no meds.
joannatm Posted November 8, 2015 Author Posted November 8, 2015 How's things going kt38? Hope you are having more windows now? X May 2003 prozac for six months after having first child. Came off taper slow. No withdrawals. December 2009 10mg citalopram after second child. January 2010 up to 20mg kinda helped. Not much. July 2010 taper off within a month. Side affects of tiredness tears. Doctor said I depressed still. Oct 2010 Went back doctor they put me on sertraline 20mg and went to cbt therapy. Doctor kept upping it as wasn't feeling better to 200mg. December 2014 felt better started to reduce by 4 tablets to 3 then to 2 then 1 and half. Four five weeks gap between. Stopped at 25mg in April 2015.7 months no meds.
KT38 Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 Hi! I'm doing very bad.....things took a turn for the worse the beginning of Nov. Worse than acute...anxiety in every nerve in my body being pushed by electric currents and super hyperarousal and hypersensitivity (more than before which is scaring me). I'm afraid of losing it and morphing into a werewolf all day everyday. And now more pressure than ever in my head and my brain trips out sometimes. I heard it can get worse around this time (7 months off) so I am just hunkering down the best I can. I hope you keep improving! I bet you will be out of this mess by month 10 or 12. Dec 2014 I tried Zoloft 25mg for one week (adverse reaction - extreme anxiety and felt like I was on an amphetamine). Dr. said to quit cold turkey, so I not only quit Zoloft but also 2 weeks of Xanax .25mg -- extreme dizziness, hyperarousal and anxiety began! On Jan. 29, 2015 my psychiatrist put me on new stuff and this is how my next 2 months and 7 days looked like (I was having the same bad reactions to all of these):Effexor XR 37.5mg (3 days) - throwing up, heart palpations, night tremors/convulsions or something where whole body shakes for a second, Prozac 10mg (15 days), Prozac 20mg (7 days) - internal restlessness, electric current through body/brain (not zaps), agitation, intense fear and could no longer nap at this point (still can't today because of this), Lexapro 5mg (4 days) - same as Prozac, a horror show...extreme internal agitation, Lexapro 7.5mg (2 days), Lexapro 10mg (16 days), Zoloft 12.5mg (3 days)...she said try it again since my blood relative does well on it, Zoloft 25mg (7 days) - same as before and getting worse!! Zoloft 50mg (6 days), Zoloft 25mg (4 days and then came off cold turkey on April 8, 2015). I used Xanax .25mg about 7 times per month through all of this until June 30, 2015 (my last benzo dose). Extreme anxiety, nervous system traumatized, mental akathisia, anger triggered by nothing but the brain totally going off on its own, feeling of a pressurized electric current going through me like my brain and body are trying to explode, stress reaction x10000 to everything, waking in terror lasting all day, fear, very sensitive, brain can't keep up, don't know what to do with myself, feeling like everything is going too fast and I can't keep up, helium head, deep depression like something is ripping out my soul, out of my mind, can hardly drive or be alone, cognitive issues, simple tasks are so complex and straining, feel disturbed because the brain can't process anything right even though your brain tries so hard and it makes you go mad, episodes of deep anguish with a sick toxic poison feeling (like you have some unknown virus).
joannatm Posted November 14, 2015 Author Posted November 14, 2015 Hi. Sorry not been in touch not been too great. Have anxiety and such negative thoughts but nothing like what you experiencing. I do feel for you. You been see doctor to see what they suggest? I've heard 7 month mark can get worse. Fingers crossed we can pull through this. I just feel at times its me and put up with it. I don't ever want to go on tablets again. Love and hugs dear xx May 2003 prozac for six months after having first child. Came off taper slow. No withdrawals. December 2009 10mg citalopram after second child. January 2010 up to 20mg kinda helped. Not much. July 2010 taper off within a month. Side affects of tiredness tears. Doctor said I depressed still. Oct 2010 Went back doctor they put me on sertraline 20mg and went to cbt therapy. Doctor kept upping it as wasn't feeling better to 200mg. December 2014 felt better started to reduce by 4 tablets to 3 then to 2 then 1 and half. Four five weeks gap between. Stopped at 25mg in April 2015.7 months no meds.
joannatm Posted November 15, 2015 Author Posted November 15, 2015 Hi karen and kt38 how you both doing lately? I'm still up and down but what upsets me most awful negative sad lonely thoughts. Will it ever be norm or is it meeee. xxxx May 2003 prozac for six months after having first child. Came off taper slow. No withdrawals. December 2009 10mg citalopram after second child. January 2010 up to 20mg kinda helped. Not much. July 2010 taper off within a month. Side affects of tiredness tears. Doctor said I depressed still. Oct 2010 Went back doctor they put me on sertraline 20mg and went to cbt therapy. Doctor kept upping it as wasn't feeling better to 200mg. December 2014 felt better started to reduce by 4 tablets to 3 then to 2 then 1 and half. Four five weeks gap between. Stopped at 25mg in April 2015.7 months no meds.
DaddyCee Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 it will get better, nothing is permanent. try not to focus on how you are feeling, just let it exist for now. sending prayers. Namaste. DC. 1997 - 2001 Seroxat 10mg 2001 - 2013 Escitalopram 10mg Gradual taper from 10mg to 5mg over 2.5 years (between 2011 - 2013) Last taper from 5mg to 0 under advice from doctor done in 1 month (too damn fast!) - included missing out days. Have been drug free since Oct 2013. - Yep 5 years drugs free
KT38 Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 I've had a window for a week!!!!! Not 100% but maybe 60% better. I didn't even hesitate going out to eat with my family. My cognitive issues are still very bad and can only drive the farthest 5 miles before my awareness issues set it. It feels like my brain is not connected right and then I have some sort of derealizarion panic set in and then fear about how am I going to make it back like this. So that is still there....not sure if that is called cog fog or brain fog or something. This morning has been pretty bad so I'm guessing that window is over. My "monthly" will be starting in about 4 days so that could also be a factor but who knows. My last wave was very very bad but the window was the very very best I've had. Dec 2014 I tried Zoloft 25mg for one week (adverse reaction - extreme anxiety and felt like I was on an amphetamine). Dr. said to quit cold turkey, so I not only quit Zoloft but also 2 weeks of Xanax .25mg -- extreme dizziness, hyperarousal and anxiety began! On Jan. 29, 2015 my psychiatrist put me on new stuff and this is how my next 2 months and 7 days looked like (I was having the same bad reactions to all of these):Effexor XR 37.5mg (3 days) - throwing up, heart palpations, night tremors/convulsions or something where whole body shakes for a second, Prozac 10mg (15 days), Prozac 20mg (7 days) - internal restlessness, electric current through body/brain (not zaps), agitation, intense fear and could no longer nap at this point (still can't today because of this), Lexapro 5mg (4 days) - same as Prozac, a horror show...extreme internal agitation, Lexapro 7.5mg (2 days), Lexapro 10mg (16 days), Zoloft 12.5mg (3 days)...she said try it again since my blood relative does well on it, Zoloft 25mg (7 days) - same as before and getting worse!! Zoloft 50mg (6 days), Zoloft 25mg (4 days and then came off cold turkey on April 8, 2015). I used Xanax .25mg about 7 times per month through all of this until June 30, 2015 (my last benzo dose). Extreme anxiety, nervous system traumatized, mental akathisia, anger triggered by nothing but the brain totally going off on its own, feeling of a pressurized electric current going through me like my brain and body are trying to explode, stress reaction x10000 to everything, waking in terror lasting all day, fear, very sensitive, brain can't keep up, don't know what to do with myself, feeling like everything is going too fast and I can't keep up, helium head, deep depression like something is ripping out my soul, out of my mind, can hardly drive or be alone, cognitive issues, simple tasks are so complex and straining, feel disturbed because the brain can't process anything right even though your brain tries so hard and it makes you go mad, episodes of deep anguish with a sick toxic poison feeling (like you have some unknown virus).
joannatm Posted November 17, 2015 Author Posted November 17, 2015 Daddycee that's a lovely way to think. Difficult to not focus on feelings. I find I get bad after pmt. Like now. Tired too. Kt38 glad you having little break from the bad 2aves. That sounds like a good sign that u are healing slowly. I still can't get it in my head its the meds that still mucking me about when been off them 7 months. X May 2003 prozac for six months after having first child. Came off taper slow. No withdrawals. December 2009 10mg citalopram after second child. January 2010 up to 20mg kinda helped. Not much. July 2010 taper off within a month. Side affects of tiredness tears. Doctor said I depressed still. Oct 2010 Went back doctor they put me on sertraline 20mg and went to cbt therapy. Doctor kept upping it as wasn't feeling better to 200mg. December 2014 felt better started to reduce by 4 tablets to 3 then to 2 then 1 and half. Four five weeks gap between. Stopped at 25mg in April 2015.7 months no meds.
joannatm Posted December 4, 2015 Author Posted December 4, 2015 Why is it you feel you doing well but something still not right then BANG feel depressed and negative thoughts for two days. So frustrated especially christmas coming. Well at least I've had two weeks on off better days. Maybe starting to see light end of tunnel x how's yoy guys doing not heard from u. X May 2003 prozac for six months after having first child. Came off taper slow. No withdrawals. December 2009 10mg citalopram after second child. January 2010 up to 20mg kinda helped. Not much. July 2010 taper off within a month. Side affects of tiredness tears. Doctor said I depressed still. Oct 2010 Went back doctor they put me on sertraline 20mg and went to cbt therapy. Doctor kept upping it as wasn't feeling better to 200mg. December 2014 felt better started to reduce by 4 tablets to 3 then to 2 then 1 and half. Four five weeks gap between. Stopped at 25mg in April 2015.7 months no meds.
nz11 Posted December 4, 2015 Posted December 4, 2015 Sure sucks and is demoralizing eh....its called withdrawal. Doctors dont get it, but we sure do. Check out the great links above already posted..esp the windows and waves one. Hang in there. You can do it. Thought for the day: Lets stand up, and let’s speak out , together. G Olsen We have until the 14th. Feb 2018. URGENT REQUEST Please consider submitting for the petition on Prescribed Drug Dependence and Withdrawal currently awaiting its third consideration at the Scottish Parliament. You don't even have to be from Scotland. By clicking on the link below you can read some of the previous submissions but be warned many of them are quite harrowing. http://www.parliament.scot/GettingInvolved/Petitions/PE01651 Please tell them about your problems taking and withdrawing from antidepressants and/or benzos. Send by email to petitions@parliament.scot and quote PE01651 in the subject heading. Keep to a maximum of 3 sides of A4 and you can't name for legal reasons any doctor you have consulted. Tell them if you wish to remain anonymous. We need the numbers to help convince the committee members we are not isolated cases. You have until mid February. Thank you Recovering paxil addict None of the published articles shed light on what ssri's ... actually do or what their hazards might be. Healy 2013. This is so true, with anything you get on these drugs, dependance, tapering, withdrawal symptoms, side effects, just silent. And if there is something mentioned then their is a serious disconnect between what is said and reality! "Every time I read of a multi-person shooting, I always presume that person had just started a SSRI or had just stopped." Dr Mosher. Me too! Over two decades later, the number of antidepressant prescriptions a year is slightly more than the number of people in the Western world. Most (nine out of 10) prescriptions are for patients who faced difficulties on stopping, equating to about a tenth of the population. These patients are often advised to continue treatment because their difficulties indicate they need ongoing treatment, just as a person with diabetes needs insulin. Healy 2015 I believe the ssri era will soon stand as one of the most shameful in the history of medicine. Healy 2015 Let people help people ... in a natural, kind, non-addictive (and non-big pharma) way. J Broadley 2017
Moderator Emeritus KarenB Posted December 5, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Posted December 5, 2015 Any good days are a sign of healing - so there's a celebration for you right there. In my experience the first sign of an advancing Christmas can cause anxiety... Do you have a Christmas safety plan? I had a special counseling session just to make one . Sorry the negative thoughts got you, hope they pass soon. KarenB 2010 Fluoxetine 20mg. 2011 Escitalopram 20mg. 2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS. Effexor 150mg. 2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants. Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms). 8 month hold. 2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent). 2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well. Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea. 2023 December - Now on 5 micro-beads Effexor. Minimal symptoms but much more time needed between drops. Symptoms begin to increase. 2024 April - Updosed to 6 microbeads - immediate increase in symptoms for 4 days. Decreased to 5 microbeads. 'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.' Dr Gabor Mate.
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