☼ Junglechicken

[Junglechicken]

15 hours ago, Scorpio said:

Hi jc

 

well that’s really good news that you were able to stop the uti/cystitis before it started. You certainly don’t need that to cope with. 

 

How great to meet a neighbour that you can relate to and to be able to support each other with your individual losses. She must be devastated losing her son, I don’t know how people recover from that.  She also sounds as though she is on the same wavelength with ADC’s which is wonderful. Sounds like your dad is having happy,  lovely for both of you. 

 

Unfortunately my antibiotic doesn’t seem to be treating the infection just making me feel like death. 6 days and no improvement- oh I hate antibiotics.   Whenever I can get to guildford I will get some medicinal natural help to boost my immunity. Still coughing and spluttering but touch wood not getting worse. 

 

I have everything crossed for you with your drop.  I am assuming you are now Wi-fi live at home which makes life so much easier. Hope you are feeling really settled now and it’s feeling like home. 

 

Had my grandson from lunchtime so he has kept me on my toes today, very tiring but such fun at this age. He certainly distracts me from pain and w/d. 

 

Hugs

scorpio

 

Hi Scorpio,

 

Yes, we are back in the land of communication again....I can't tell you what a relief that is!

 

Its also lovely to have female friendships in our village.  Her house is a shrine to her son......I'll never understand why God picks people so young to leave this world, especially those who have it all going for them.  Her daughter started self-harming and wanted to join her brother in heaven 

 

Trying to find out ways in which I can contribute to the community - time will tell as we've only been there almost 3 weeks!

 

Tomorrow our washing machine and dryer arrive - another big relief, as I have been going to a launderette in a village 7 miles away!  Hubby drops me off en route to work, and then I spend the whole day there, until the time comes for him to pick me up again.

 

Your immune system needs some serious TLC Scorpio.  The sooner you can get to see a Naturopath who can help you, the better.  That and a diet full of nutrients.  Am glad you had your Grandson around to distract you.  My niece and nephew make me laugh, non-stop entertainment, although I don't see them very often as they live in Canada.

 

Hugs,

JC xxx

[Junglechicken]

I'm really worried now.

 

Was out walking in the snowy woods (beautiful), was having a "conversation" with Dad, as I often do when out on walks, and I was asking him what the difference between an angel and a spirit was.  Various responses came into my head.

 

When I asked him who his angel was, a reply came "Samuel" in a booming voice (in my head).

 

Unless I'm going nuts or something, I looked up on the internet who the Angel Samuel was.  It turns out he is actually "Satan".

 

Satan is an Archangel, and you know the rest.

 

Just not sure now if Dad has "crossed over" safely, or whether he is being tormented by evil (OR if I'm completely nuts)????

 

 

 

[apace41]

2 hours ago, Junglechicken said:

Unless I'm going nuts or something, I looked up on the internet who the Angel Samuel was.  It turns out he is actually "Satan".

 

Satan is an Archangel, and you know the rest.

 

Just not sure now if Dad has "crossed over" safely, or whether he is being tormented by evil (OR if I'm completely nuts)????

 

Those are not the only options, JC.  There is just the outside chance that you are completely and totally exhausted and these are the kinds of tricks that the mind plays on you when you are in that state.  Not to mention you are highly susceptible right now in the immediate aftermath of another reduction of medicine.

 

You need to try to relax a little and do your best to stop looking for constant communication with you father.  It's one thing to hope for a sign once in a while but when you get to expecting an ongoing dialogue your brain starts to "force" things on you.

 

He's just fine.  From all you've said he was a good man so I'm sure he's in a good place.

 

Take care of YOURSELF.

 

Best,

 

Andy

[Junglechicken]

1 hour ago, apace41 said:

 

Those are not the only options, JC.  There is just the outside chance that you are completely and totally exhausted and these are the kinds of tricks that the mind plays on you when you are in that state.  Not to mention you are highly susceptible right now in the immediate aftermath of another reduction of medicine.

 

You need to try to relax a little and do your best to stop looking for constant communication with you father.  It's one thing to hope for a sign once in a while but when you get to expecting an ongoing dialogue your brain starts to "force" things on you.

 

He's just fine.  From all you've said he was a good man so I'm sure he's in a good place.

 

Take care of YOURSELF.

 

Best,

 

Andy

 

Thank you Andy,

 

Its strange, I don't feel exhausted, but I am finding it very hard to relax.

 

Ive also managed to injure my left knee, calf and foot.  Made the mistake of wearing boots that have had it (completely worn out) and don't support my feet anymore, and walked 3k up a hill.  Then yesterday I walked over 11k from the village where our dentist is which aggravated it further as I didn't want to pay for a taxi.

 

Of course my HA brain screams out "it must be DVT!".

 

Damn my destructive mind.

 

Best,

JC

[Junglechicken]

Been experiencing some unpleasant GERD symptoms.  Scared she is going to refer me for endoscopy etc 

 

Have an appointment with my new GP tomorrow, so will discuss with her and will also be requesting some bloodwork:

 

FSH

Full Bloodcount

Thyroid

 

The leg pain has gone (thankfully) and I have thrown away those boots.  

[Junglechicken]

Saw my new GP this morning who was fortunately really lovely.  I am relieved.

 

She has prescribed a different PPI, which is more compatible with the Lexapro.  I will have to take it for a month (no taper required).

 

IF the GERD doesn't settle after the month is up, I will be referred for an endoscopy   As well as stress, she said that Lexapro can cause gut issues!

 

Have also got a bloodwork appointment set up for early next month to have Thyroid and Full Blood Count assessed.  Will also book an FSH test next month (nearer the time).

 

--------------------------------------------------------

 

Am concerned that I am really scatty, forget things a lot, I drop stuff, am basically all over the place.  Not to mention crying spells.  Will be going down with hubby this weekend and the Monday to help get my mother sorted out...... not looking forward to it, but has to be done.

 

 

[apace41]

3 minutes ago, Junglechicken said:

Am concerned that I am really scatty, forget things a lot, I drop stuff, am basically all over the place.  Not to mention crying spells

 

You just did a fairly significant drop, correct?

Don't lose sight of that, JC.

 

Best,

 

Andy 

[Junglechicken]

1 minute ago, apace41 said:

 

You just did a fairly significant drop, correct?

Don't lose sight of that, JC.

 

Best,

 

Andy 

 

Yes Andy, 

 

Last time it didn't hit me until about a month later.  IBS etc.,

 

Having said that, my father had deteriorated massively, and I was going to back to back interviews.....so its hard to say whether it was stress or WD.  Still WD stresses out the body.

 

Best,

JC

[AliG]

1 hour ago, Junglechicken said:

She has prescribed a different PPI, which is more compatible with the Lexapro.  I will have to take it for a month (no taper required).

 

JC. I'm sorry but that makes no sense to me. "compatible with Lexapro". What does that even mean ?

 

If I were you, I would "undoctor myself" and disconnect from all the drugs and the diagnoses. It's all just serving to pull you into their "medical model web". Get some sun and sand, rest, sleep, exercise, prayer & meditation, organic food and fresh water ... grieve, and then move on...

 

Much love,

Ali

[Junglechicken]

1 hour ago, AliG said:

 

JC. I'm sorry but that makes no sense to me. "compatible with Lexapro". What does that even mean ?

 

If I were you, I would "undoctor myself" and disconnect from all the drugs and the diagnoses. It's all just serving to pull you into their "medical model web". Get some sun and sand, rest, sleep, exercise, prayer & meditation, organic food and fresh water ... grieve, and then move on...

 

Much love,

Ali

 

Thank you Ali,

Re: Lexapro compatibility, your guess is as good as mine.  I'd love to stay away from any camera that gets shoved down my gullet, but hey, I COULD have cancer 

If I could bog off to the sun and sand for a few weeks to grieve, that would be wonderful......it won't be for a few months yet though.  Oz comes to mind, lol!

We've just bought a house and so there are large costs involved.

I hope you're ok, and getting closer to tracking down your son?

Much love,

JC xx

 

 

[AliG]

JC. LOL. Sorry if that came across as judgemental. It definitely wasn't meant to be.

 

Yes - some sun and sand sounds good to me too...

 

Saw my son after Xmas, but he wasn't happy to see us ~ he's moving house and I don't know where ~ I've given up.

 

Sending love ...

Ali

[Junglechicken]

3 minutes ago, AliG said:

JC. LOL. Sorry if that came across as judgemental. It definitely wasn't meant to be.

 

Yes - some sun and sand sounds good to me too...

 

Saw my son after Xmas, but he wasn't happy to see us ~ he's moving house and I don't know where ~ I've given up.

 

Sending love ...

Ali

 

Very sorry to hear that your son wasn't happy to see you and your hubby.  The main thing is he is alive and well, but very sad that his attitude towards you isn't what you had hoped for.  Do you think you can find out "through the grapevine" WHY he has it in for you both???

 

I hope we can get away for a road trip after we have moved my mother into her new place.

 

Keep your fingers crossed that I can get this GERD problem sorted out pronto.

 

Sending mucho love back,

JC xx

[Junglechicken]

So, picked up the "Pantoprazole" for GERD.

 

Have to take it for a month, and not sure if my Naturopath can come up with an alternative.

 

Ugghh!

 

---------------------------------------

 

Have also got a cold sore that won't go away 

[freespirit]

JC. I know I've said something to you in the past about histamine intolerance. Did you ever try eating a lower histamine diet to see if it helped? I'm passing along a couple of sites for you to look at and there's also the low histamine thread on SA. I notice you keep adding supplements and now another medication. It's possible that changing your diet might be a support. It's not the whole answer to things, but may be an important piece of the puzzle.

 

General information about HI and the symptoms: https://www.marioninstitute.org/histamine-intolerance-syndrome/

 

Information about cystitis and HI: https://www.foodsmatter.com/allergy_intolerance/histamine/articles/histamine-estrogen-and-interstitial-cystitis-the link-01-16.html

 

Histamine and chronic bladder inflammation: https://healinghistamine.com/histamines-role-in-chronic-urinary-tract-infections-or-intersitial-cystitis/

 

The connection between HI and hormonal changes in menopause and peri-menopause https://healinghistamine.com/the-menopause-histamine-connection/

 

 

[Junglechicken]

On ‎21‎/‎03‎/‎2018 at 9:16 PM, freespirit said:

JC. I know I've said something to you in the past about histamine intolerance. Did you ever try eating a lower histamine diet to see if it helped? I'm passing along a couple of sites for you to look at and there's also the low histamine thread on SA. I notice you keep adding supplements and now another medication. It's possible that changing your diet might be a support. It's not the whole answer to things, but may be an important piece of the puzzle.

 

General information about HI and the symptoms: https://www.marioninstitute.org/histamine-intolerance-syndrome/

 

Information about cystitis and HI: https://www.foodsmatter.com/allergy_intolerance/histamine/articles/histamine-estrogen-and-interstitial-cystitis-the link-01-16.html

 

Histamine and chronic bladder inflammation: https://healinghistamine.com/histamines-role-in-chronic-urinary-tract-infections-or-intersitial-cystitis/

 

The connection between HI and hormonal changes in menopause and peri-menopause https://healinghistamine.com/the-menopause-histamine-connection/

 

 

 

Thank you FS,

 

Funnily enough, this time I don't think its to do with histamine intolerance.

 

I DID have major issues with histamine intolerance last year, and reacted to just about everything (both diet and creams for my skin).  But, that all subsided when I changed my diet through detoxing and taking supplements as advised by my Naturopath.

 

Given how much stress I was under, I was also getting sick more frequently (bladder / UTI infections), they have also subsided, and I take a "Bearberry" supplement for that which is doing the trick.

 

It is well documented that people who suffer bereavement suffer from GI / gut issues, and in the lead up to my father's passing and then his death, my gut reacted massively to the stress (IBS etc).

 

I'm waiting for my SIBO urine analysis to come back (should be next week).  This will give me an idea if I have any issues in the small intestine or not.  If not, then its stress that is causing the IBS issues I have been having.  I don't have any food intolerances either.

 

TC,

JC

[Junglechicken]

GERD symptoms have subsided (at least the painful ones).

 

Am experiencing a bit of nausea (mild)....I guess this is because the effects are being reversed.   I had bad nausea a couple of weeks ago before the reflux got really bad.

 

Off to help my mother with administrative stuff this weekend, so will try and do some "nice" stuff during the time as well.

[AliG]

On 3/22/2018 at 7:16 AM, freespirit said:

JC. I know I've said something to you in the past about histamine intolerance. Did you ever try eating a lower histamine diet to see if it helped? I'm passing along a couple of sites for you to look at and there's also the low histamine thread on SA. I notice you keep adding supplements and now another medication. It's possible that changing your diet might be a support. It's not the whole answer to things, but may be an important piece of the puzzle.

 

General information about HI and the symptoms: https://www.marioninstitute.org/histamine-intolerance-syndrome/

 

Information about cystitis and HI: https://www.foodsmatter.com/allergy_intolerance/histamine/articles/histamine-estrogen-and-interstitial-cystitis-the link-01-16.html

 

Histamine and chronic bladder inflammation: https://healinghistamine.com/histamines-role-in-chronic-urinary-tract-infections-or-intersitial-cystitis/

 

The connection between HI and hormonal changes in menopause and peri-menopause https://healinghistamine.com/the-menopause-histamine-connection/

 

 

 

Hey JC. I love freespirit's thinking. It makes a lot of sense ... definitely worth looking into , particularly as a long term, drug - free approach to healing and also possibly answering some of your much more immediate concerns.

 

On 3/21/2018 at 3:35 AM, Junglechicken said:

Very sorry to hear that your son wasn't happy to see you and your hubby.  The main thing is he is alive and well, but very sad that his attitude towards you isn't what you had hoped for.  Do you think you can find out "through the grapevine" WHY he has it in for you both???

 

I just wanted to answer you regarding this question which I've never really previously addressed, here before. I don't fully or even partly begin to understand what is going on with my eldest son. He had a great upbringing - was smart - went to the best private school etc, but had a few bad "life knocks". For instance, he originally wanted to be a pilot (was his dream) but he suffered from asthma. The asthma improved as he grew older, but it was still just enough of a problem, to put a stop to his plans although he didn't realise it until the very final interview and round of tests. I don't think he ever really got over that, as well as a high - school sweetheart that moved on, and totally broke his heart in the process.

There was an addiction to computer gaming ... that still continues ... I think

 

He's very intelligent and did a few degrees: science /optometry/ computer science but then dropped out of life for no apparent reason, and has been un-contactable since. We finally tracked him down after Xmas - just turned up at his last known address, and it was awkward because he was embarrassed. I assume, because he is now working at a job that is far beneath his intelligence, had put on weight, seemed very down, as well as not having contacted us for such a long time, including over 2 Xmas's.

 

I'm not sure if he is on drugs or psych drugs. He says no, but I'm not sure. He has issues, but I have no idea what they are apart from what I've already explained. There was never an issue between us. We used to be very close and there is nothing that has ever happened between us to change that. I don't really have the opportunity to talk to him or even try to help him.

 

It is one of the great sadness's of my life and there are quite a few, but I guess, we continue to move on ...

Just wanted you and ... maybe, everyone here to understand ... just a little.

Ali

[Junglechicken]

13 minutes ago, AliG said:

 

Hey JC. I love freespirit's thinking. It makes a lot of sense ... definitely worth looking into , particularly as a long term, drug - free approach to healing and also possibly answering some of your much more immediate concerns.

 

 

I just wanted to answer you regarding this question which I've never really previously addressed, here before. I don't fully or even partly begin to understand what is going on with my eldest son. He had a great upbringing - was smart - went to the best private school etc, but had a few bad "life knocks". For instance, he originally wanted to be a pilot (was his dream) but he suffered from asthma. The asthma improved as he grew older, but it was still just enough of a problem, to put a stop to his plans although he didn't realise it until the very final interview and round of tests. I don't think he ever really got over that, as well as a high - school sweetheart that moved on, and totally broke his heart in the process.

There was an addiction to computer gaming ... that still continues ... I think

 

He's very intelligent and did a few degrees: science /optometry/ computer science but then dropped out of life for no apparent reason, and has been un-contactable since. We finally tracked him down after Xmas - just turned up at his last known address, and it was awkward because he was embarrassed. I assume, because he is now working at a job that is far beneath his intelligence, had put on weight, seemed very down, as well as not having contacted us for such a long time, including over 2 Xmas's.

 

I'm not sure if he is on drugs or psych drugs. He says no, but I'm not sure. He has issues, but I have no idea what they are apart from what I've already explained. There was never an issue between us. We used to be very close and there is nothing that has ever happened between us to change that. I don't really have the opportunity to talk to him or even try to help him.

 

It is one of the great sadness's of my life and there are quite a few, but I guess, we continue to move on ...

Just wanted you and ... maybe, everyone here to understand ... just a little.

Ali

 

Hey Ali,

 

There is certainly no harm in mentioning the HI to my Naturopath, as she knows all the tests I have had and whether this would be the  "way to go".  She has lived my "healing journey" with me, and so will be able to advise.

 

Thank you for giving us the background on your son's situation. 

 

It sounds very much like a "Its not you, its me" in regard to his keeping his distance from you and your hubby. And, as you've said, he's embarrassed and depressed about the way his life has gone.

 

I think he is going through his own healing journey, and is trying to find answers.  It could take a while (as we all know too well) before he sees a "way out", finds happiness in himself again, and wants you back in his life.

 

Giving him space to do that, is the best thing you can do.

 

JC xx

 

[Junglechicken]

To those of us who aren't very good at "being kind to ourselves", and most particularly during grieving:

 

http://griefwords.com/index.cgi?action=page&page=articles%2Fhealing_body.html&site_id=2

[freespirit]

12 hours ago, Junglechicken said:

 

Thank you FS,

 

Funnily enough, this time I don't think its to do with histamine intolerance.

 

I DID have major issues with histamine intolerance last year, and reacted to just about everything (both diet and creams for my skin).  But, that all subsided when I changed my diet through detoxing and taking supplements as advised by my Naturopath.

 

Given how much stress I was under, I was also getting sick more frequently (bladder / UTI infections), they have also subsided, and I take a "Bearberry" supplement for that which is doing the trick.

 

It is well documented that people who suffer bereavement suffer from GI / gut issues, and in the lead up to my father's passing and then his death, my gut reacted massively to the stress (IBS etc).

 

I'm waiting for my SIBO urine analysis to come back (should be next week).  This will give me an idea if I have any issues in the small intestine or not.  If not, then its stress that is causing the IBS issues I have been having.  I don't have any food intolerances either.

 

TC,

JC

The only reason I posted this to you is because HI is not just a matter of skin rashes or seasonal allergies. Like WD, it can impact nearly every organ and system in the body. Maybe things have changed for you, but the things I've seen you write about are: muscle/joint pain, asthma, painful or frequent urination, IBS, GERD, numerous infections, feelings of blood sugar changes, nausea and fatigue. Every one of those is also a symptom of HI. Stress very frequently worsens symptoms. I've noticed strong emotions to be a very major factor for me. You clearly trust your naturopath and that's good. I think those of us who've been around a while, like AliG, are inclined to encourage our own investigations, intuitions, etc and not just relying on an outside person. Maybe you've lucked out and found someone who completely understands WD and HI. Personally, I've found my alternative practitioners to be wrong quite a few times. While I know that practitioners are experts in certain aspects, I'm the best expert on my own body. But we all have to follow our own way with things.

[Junglechicken]

Decision made to walk away from dysfunctional relationship with mother.

 

Enough is enough.

[Junglechicken]

Sooo,

 

The GERD symptoms (throat pain) has subsided, but I am producing a LOT of saliva - anyone know why?

 

I am also sweating a fair amount??

 

JC

[Dalalea]

2 hours ago, Junglechicken said:

GERD symptoms

I'm sorry, Junglechicken. We get rid of one thing only to have others pop up. If you are on medicine for GERD, I think these symptoms are side effects of medications like Prilosec. I remember having them while on omeprazole. 

Hope it gets better soon!

Dalalea

[Junglechicken]

11 minutes ago, Dalalea said:

I'm sorry, Junglechicken. We get rid of one thing only to have others pop up. If you are on medicine for GERD, I think these symptoms are side effects of medications like Prilosec. I remember having them while on omeprazole. 

Hope it gets better soon!

Dalalea

 

Thank you Dalalea,

 

I think you're right, as I checked out the side effects of the PPI, that I'm on, and it seemed to fit.

 

Ughh!  One of these days we will get well.

 

JC xx

[Dalalea]

15 minutes ago, Junglechicken said:

One of these days we will get well.

We are all going to heal, JC!

[Junglechicken]

Bad nausea prevails, dizziness and weakness in my legs 

 

It could be PPI side effects, could also be WD, and stress on top of it all.

 

Am NOT in a good way.

[Littlegrandma]

I’m sorry JC.  You have been through so much. 

I don’t have any experience with PPI but the other are some of my worse and unrelenting symptoms of wd. I’m sure stress plays a big role in it. You’ve got a lot on your plate. 

Thinking of you and praying for your peace of mind and body.  

xx Lg

[Junglechicken]

3 minutes ago, Littlegrandma said:

I’m sorry JC.  You have been through so much. 

I don’t have any experience with PPI but the other are some of my worse and unrelenting symptoms of wd. I’m sure stress plays a big role in it. You’ve got a lot on your plate. 

Thinking of you and praying for your peace of mind and body.  

xx Lg

 

Thank you Lg, my hubby also felt nauseous this morning.

 

I have read how damaging to the liver and gut PPI drugs are.

 

None of this is good 

 

JC xx

[Scorpio]

Hi jc

 

miserable for you. Probably the stress you have been through is not helping. Hope it soon calms down. 

[Littlegrandma]

When it rains, it pours. 

Someday, soon JC, this storm is going to settle down. You will find the peace you deserve!!!   Hugs

[Junglechicken]

Thank you Ladies, it's pouring outside!

 

Somehow I'll survive today, after therapy am having a haircut (last time I had my haircut I had cystitis).  

 

Nothing is enjoyable anymore  

 

"Beam me up Scotty".

[Scorpio]

Hi jc

 

keep going, one step at a time. We are all going through hell at the moment maybe when the sun actually bothers coming out we will feel better too. 

 

‘’Therapy and haircut should lift your spirits meanwhile where is my umbrella. 

[AliG]

On 3/26/2018 at 8:26 AM, Junglechicken said:

Decision made to walk away from dysfunctional relationship with mother.

 

Hi JC. You can't underestimate the effect that this kind of relationship can have on your emotional stability and health in general over time, so this is probably the best course you could possibly take and you may be surprised at how your outlook can often improve as a result. I really hope so. I had a similar experience and it can feel like such a weight has been lifted once you decide that you and your health are the main priority and that perhaps other issues have to be put aside first, to enable yourself to get back to a more "whole" place in your own life. Toxic relationships can be so draining and often delay progress, sometimes without you even really fully realizing it at the time.

 

It can be difficult to give support, particularly when your heart is not in it, and you are struggling so badly yourself.Those are the times where you have to try and remember to also look after yourself, and treat yourself gently.

 

"Letting go" can be very "freeing" though and it sounds like you have decided to cut those particular cords. It can be a hard decision but maybe it comes at just the right time for you.

 

You have been through so much and my heart goes out to you but you are resilient. I know that you will make it through this and come out the other side. You may be a little more "ragged around the edges" and a little battle weary at the end of it but you will be so much stronger for having been through these hard times, and survived. As time moves on and you keep improving you will eventually be able to look back and see how very far, you have come.

 

It won't always be like this ~ it will get better ...

 

(( hugs))

Ali

[Junglechicken]

1 hour ago, AliG said:

 

Hi JC. You can't underestimate the effect that this kind of relationship can have on your emotional stability and health in general over time, so this is probably the best course you could possibly take and you may be surprised at how your outlook can often improve as a result. I really hope so. I had a similar experience and it can feel like such a weight has been lifted once you decide that you and your health are the main priority and that perhaps other issues have to be put aside first, to enable yourself to get back to a more "whole" place in your own life. Toxic relationships can be so draining and often delay progress, sometimes without you even really fully realizing it at the time.

 

It can be difficult to give support, particularly when your heart is not in it, and you are struggling so badly yourself.Those are the times where you have to try and remember to also look after yourself, and treat yourself gently.

 

"Letting go" can be very "freeing" though and it sounds like you have decided to cut those particular cords. It can be a hard decision but maybe it comes at just the right time for you.

 

You have been through so much and my heart goes out to you but you are resilient. I know that you will make it through this and come out the other side. You may be a little more "ragged around the edges" and a little battle weary at the end of it but you will be so much stronger for having been through these hard times, and survived. As time moves on and you keep improving you will eventually be able to look back and see how very far, you have come.

 

It won't always be like this ~ it will get better ...

 

(( hugs))

Ali

 

Thank you Ali, I really appreciate it.

 

Its been an absolutely brutal few months, and my mother sees herself as the only one allowed to grieve/ have all the grief.  Although she is "stiff upper lip" and so she doesn't cry either.

 

She flew into 2 toxic rages over the weekend and threatened to throw me out of the house/call the police.

 

Its all been a nightmare, and I'm trying to scrape back my sanity.  Fortunately our little cottage is an oasis of peace, quiet and calm.

 

I am very confident she doesn't love me, and never has.  She only sees me and my brother as "cash cows", / people to help her out financially, also I'm the "scapegoat" and my brother is the "golden child".

 

Enough of that stuff, I hope my energy levels can return to normal and that up and coming bloodwork results come back normal aswell.

 

Like everyone else on SA, I pray that I/ we can come out of the other side of all this reasonably unscathed.

 

Hugs back Ali,

 

JC xx

[Junglechicken]

A positive message to share:

 

"Some blossoms are a result of the largest amount of manure"!

[Littlegrandma]

Haha

love it!