☼ Junglechicken

[Junglechicken]

On 5 February 2018 at 6:01 PM, Littlegrandma said:

I’m sorry JC

 

Thank you LG x

[Scorpio]

16 hours ago, Junglechicken said:

 

Thank you Scorpio,

 

Do you think he is with me?  Do you think I will hear him talk to me?  Will he guide me through the rest of my life?

 

I long for him to make his presence known, it's so lonely without him.

Hi jc

of course you long for him and it is a hard and lonely time.  Everyone experiences grief differently but it hurts so much. I have always felt my mum is watching over me and that gives me great comfort. 

 

Just take one day at a time my friend. Has your brother arrived yet to help you with organising everything. 

[Junglechicken]

12 minutes ago, Scorpio said:

Hi jc

of course you long for him and it is a hard and lonely time.  Everyone experiences grief differently but it hurts so much. I have always felt my mum is watching over me and that gives me great comfort. 

 

Just take one day at a time my friend. Has your brother arrived yet to help you with organising everything. 

 

Hi Scorpio,

 

Yes, my brother and SIL arrived on Wednesday afternoon and he has been helpful and supportive.

 

Dad's funeral is on Monday.

[Frogie]

JC:

 

Bless your heart.

 

Take care of yourself.

 

I'm thinking of you.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[Scorpio]

Hi jc

i am so relieved for you that he is here and taking some of the burden from you. You both have shared memories that you can remember together and it will help a little. It is hard waiting for the funeral but it gives you the chance to consider everything you want for the service. 

 

Be gentle with yourself my friend. 

[AliG]

So sorry for your loss, JC. My thoughts are with you ~ 

 

Ali xx

[manymoretodays]

Oh my.  So sorry Junglechicken.  My thoughts and prayers are with you, at this time, as well.  I'm glad that your brother has arrived and oh yes, I agree........we all experience it in our own way, this thing called grieving. 

 

Love, peace, healing/inrecovery, and growth,

mmt

[Junglechicken]

I have a remarkable story to share with you all.

 

As my father lay dying last Sunday in hospital, I asked him if he could tell me where his memoirs were.  He had never told me where he kept them, and may have even forgotten where he put them. Instead of a wedding gift (as my parents had no money), I asked him to write his memoirs for me as he has had a really interesting life.

 

This evening I was typing up my tribute to him in his old study, for his funeral tomorrow.  I felt a presence in the room, and then my lower legs suddenly felt very cold.  As I have HA, this alarmed me.

 

I bent down towards my lower legs towards the floor and spotted a green folder under his desk which I had never seen or noticed before.

 

Out of curiosity I picked it up, and looked inside......there were his memoirs.  

 

He showed me (in spirit form) where they were.

 

I am truly comforted in the knowledge that Dad is right here, just not physically.

 

[apace41]

Beautiful, JC.

 

Best,

 

Andy

[Littlegrandma]

Beautiful. The sign you were looking for!  That gave me chills. 

Big hugs Lg

Edited February 12, 2018 by Littlegrandma
Spelling

[wantrelief]

4 hours ago, Littlegrandma said:

Beautiful. The sign you were looking for!  That gave me chills. 

Big hugs Lg

Yes, I was thinking the same - just what you had been looking for.  And your story gave me chills too.  I hope what happened has brought you some peace, JC.

[Scorpio]

Hi jc

 

what a wonderful experience for you in this sad time, it will give you the strength for today and the future knowing he is by your side. 

 

‘’I know when my mother died I was constantly being confronted by lots of white feathers falling from the sky with no birds in evidence very strange but very comforting. 

[Junglechicken]

6 hours ago, Scorpio said:

Hi jc

 

what a wonderful experience for you in this sad time, it will give you the strength for today and the future knowing he is by your side. 

 

‘’I know when my mother died I was constantly being confronted by lots of white feathers falling from the sky with no birds in evidence very strange but very comforting. 

 

Hi Scorpio,

 

I have read about white feathers falling out of the sky in front of people who have just lost a loved one - sent by angels apparently.

 

There are a number of other ways that the spirit of the deceased person tries to communicate with those left behind.

 

Yes, that moment yesterday evening gave me strength that Dad was close to me.

[AliG]

That's very special, JC and also Scorpio ~ It's such a nice thought ~ beautiful.

31 minutes ago, Junglechicken said:

I have read about white feathers falling out of the sky in front of people who have just lost a loved one - sent by angels apparently.

 

[Flowers]

How comforting for you JC. He is with you. 

 

Love and hugs

 

Flowers xxx

[Junglechicken]

Starting to get hit with physical symptoms of loss.

 

Face flushed bright red, I have had temperature disregulation, and anxiety.

 

Feel very lost, no emotions at all, to suddenly crying, to laughing.

[apace41]

All very normal under the circumstances, JC.  Would be normal even if you WEREN'T in w/d.  Just worse because you are.

 

You need to try to find time for yourself and to be gentle toward yourself.

 

You will get through this -- just a question of how much scarring takes place.

 

Best,

 

Andy

[Junglechicken]

10 hours ago, apace41 said:

All very normal under the circumstances, JC.  Would be normal even if you WEREN'T in w/d.  Just worse because you are.

 

You need to try to find time for yourself and to be gentle toward yourself.

 

You will get through this -- just a question of how much scarring takes place.

 

Best,

 

Andy

 

Andy,

 

I had another "visitation" from Dad @ 2:30am, which woke me and my husband up.

 

My phone beeped 3 times (the sound of a text message coming in), and then the music "Its a lovely day" started playing over and over again in my head, I also heard Dad say "Its ok Widge" (Widge was his pet name for me).  That very music was played at Dad's committal on Monday.

 

I was very anxious right before going to bed, with the symptoms mentioned in my previous message.  I asked if he would give me a sign that he was there for me, and he did.

 

Thank you Andy, this is the biggest emotional roller coaster I have been on.

 

TC,

JC

 

[Junglechicken]

Tried to keep my mother at arms length throughout our time there.

 

She treated me like s**t, and her behaviour was incredibly erratic.

 

My therapist advised me to focus on mourning for my father, and not thinking about my mother.  There is no relationship there, and her friends should pick her up taking the burden off me.

 

 

[Junglechicken]

11 hours ago, Junglechicken said:

 

Andy,

 

I had another "visitation" from Dad @ 2:30am, which woke me and my husband up.

 

My phone beeped 3 times (the sound of a text message coming in), and then the music "Its a lovely day" started playing over and over again in my head, I also heard Dad say "Its ok Widge" (Widge was his pet name for me).  That very music was played at Dad's committal on Monday.

 

I was very anxious right before going to bed, with the symptoms mentioned in my previous message.  I asked if he would give me a sign that he was there for me, and he did.

 

Thank you Andy, this is the biggest emotional roller coaster I have been on.

 

TC,

JC

 

 

My hubby mentioned to me this evening that when my phone beeped at 2:30am, my father's school song (which was also played during his funeral) was playing in his head at the same time.....a DEFINITE sign that my father was trying to communicate with us.

 

We both felt too hot, got out of bed and went to the loo half asleep.

[Junglechicken]

The stress has taken its toll on my nether regions 

 

Will have to do some self-tests for thrush/BV, and have got to get the SIBO analysis done.

 

My anxiety has escalated since Dad died.

[Flowers]

Hi JC. It's strange when these things happen after someone close has died. I hope it is giving you comfort in your grief.

 

I am not surprised your anxiety has escalated after all you have had to deal with lately - and as we know anxiety will find it's way out of the body in all sorts of ways and symptoms.

 

I hope you are trying to give yourself some time to take things easy and grieve. I also  hope your physical symptoms are not infections and will go away soon.

 

Please look after yourself and take care.

 

Love from Flowers xxx

 

 

[Junglechicken]

18 hours ago, Flowers said:

Hi JC. It's strange when these things happen after someone close has died. I hope it is giving you comfort in your grief.

 

I am not surprised your anxiety has escalated after all you have had to deal with lately - and as we know anxiety will find it's way out of the body in all sorts of ways and symptoms.

 

I hope you are trying to give yourself some time to take things easy and grieve. I also  hope your physical symptoms are not infections and will go away soon.

 

Please look after yourself and take care.

 

Love from Flowers xxx

 

 

 

Thank you Flowers xxx

 

I suspect I have BV or something similar :0(

 

Grief can leave one open to infections........

 

Love and hugs,

JC xxx

[Junglechicken]

On ‎12‎/‎02‎/‎2018 at 10:56 AM, Scorpio said:

Hi jc

 

what a wonderful experience for you in this sad time, it will give you the strength for today and the future knowing he is by your side. 

 

‘’I know when my mother died I was constantly being confronted by lots of white feathers falling from the sky with no birds in evidence very strange but very comforting. 

 

Hi Scorpio,

 

LG mentioned that you have gone down with another virus??

 

Am really sorry to hear that, you need help with supporting your immune system.

 

How long have you had it for?

 

 

[Scorpio]

Hi jc

 

dont worry about me, I am alive and upright having spent the last few days with parts of my anatomy attached to the loo wishing for a miracle cure. Anxiety etc back with a vengeance today. 

 

I read you posts and your dad is definitely determined to let you know he is by your side, take that as the huge comfort it is my friend. I hope the anxiety eases for you, it is so cruel when you already are grief stricken. I imagine the nether regions symptoms are all part of the anxiety.  It causes havoc with our system.  

 

I am pleased to hear you kept your mother at arms length and are now back home.  Concentrate on being kind to yourself and coming to terms with your grief. 

[Junglechicken]

1 hour ago, Scorpio said:

Hi jc

 

dont worry about me, I am alive and upright having spent the last few days with parts of my anatomy attached to the loo wishing for a miracle cure. Anxiety etc back with a vengeance today. 

 

I read you posts and your dad is definitely determined to let you know he is by your side, take that as the huge comfort it is my friend. I hope the anxiety eases for you, it is so cruel when you already are grief stricken. I imagine the nether regions symptoms are all part of the anxiety.  It causes havoc with our system.  

 

I am pleased to hear you kept your mother at arms length and are now back home.  Concentrate on being kind to yourself and coming to terms with your grief. 

 

Scorpio,

 

Have just seen a reply you put on Frogie's thread that you have Norovirus.......do you know how you contracted it???  Am not surprised it has made you anxious.....any illness like that ramps up anxiety.  It's grim spending hours on the loo, am thinking of you.

 

Yes, I'm convinced that Dad is trying to communicate from "the other side" which is VERY comforting.  Have asked him to continue communicating with me/us.

 

I told my mother (as I was leaving) to rely on her friends for support.  She isn't in a good way Scorpio, she has COPD among other serious health issues, and is due to have a CT scan for dementia / Alzheimer's on March 1st.  Am not sure how she is going to cope.

[Scorpio]

Hi jc

No idea but my daughter, son in law and grandson had it over a week ago, like the flu it is everywhere at the moment. I am one of the lucky ones and never really suffer from vomiting but when I do I am a complete wreck, can’t cope with it at all. 

 

Yesterday my 91 year old father in law had a fall so my husband and sister in law raced down to him. He had hurt his back and badly grazed his shoulder. Called an ambulance at 8.30am it eventually came at 2.30pm. They treated him at home, nothing broken, dressed his wound, took his vitals and said last place he wants to be is hospital.  All the ambulances are backed up as hospital full. They recommended he get tested for dementia as very confused a lot of the time. 

 

I think at the moment you have to concentrate on you, you have spent half your life helping your parents with their problems but for now it us you that needs comfort and peace. 

[Junglechicken]

14 hours ago, Scorpio said:

Hi jc

No idea but my daughter, son in law and grandson had it over a week ago, like the flu it is everywhere at the moment. I am one of the lucky ones and never really suffer from vomiting but when I do I am a complete wreck, can’t cope with it at all. 

 

Yesterday my 91 year old father in law had a fall so my husband and sister in law raced down to him. He had hurt his back and badly grazed his shoulder. Called an ambulance at 8.30am it eventually came at 2.30pm. They treated him at home, nothing broken, dressed his wound, took his vitals and said last place he wants to be is hospital.  All the ambulances are backed up as hospital full. They recommended he get tested for dementia as very confused a lot of the time. 

 

I think at the moment you have to concentrate on you, you have spent half your life helping your parents with their problems but for now it us you that needs comfort and peace. 

 

Uggh! its too easy to catch these things from relatives. My MIL always recoils in disgust when hubby and I visit her and we're sick!

 

That's a miracle that your FIL is ok after a fall like that....he sounds very robust.  Sounds like the NHS is still struggling though. 

 

My mother has to be tested for dementia/Alzheimer's as well.  Her short term memory issues were picked up when she was in hospital, so she will be having a CT scan on 1st March.  She also has COPD.

 

My gut has been acting up, not surprising.  Really hope I can get comfort and peace.

 

Hugs,

JC xxx

[Junglechicken]

Wherever I walk, I see a trail of baby white fluffy feathers (so cute), I think (and want to believe) that they have been left by cupids 

[Frogie]

7 minutes ago, Junglechicken said:

Wherever I walk, I see a trail of baby white fluffy feathers (so cute), I think (and want to believe) that they have been left by cupids 

How sweet.

 

[direstraits]

I'm glad you're finding these things to bring some comfort to you.

 

ds

[Junglechicken]

Thanks Frogie and DS,

 

I have been asking the powers that be up above, to give me signs that Dad has crossed to the "other side" safely.

 

Even if its just coincidence, its still lovely to see the feathers.

[Scorpio]

Hi jc

its so lovely you are seeing white feathers too such a comfort. I hope your gut and nether regions are behaving and easing for you. How’s the anxiety. Mine is being truly horrible after these viruses but hopefully we will both get some relief soon. 

[Junglechicken]

8 minutes ago, Scorpio said:

Hi jc

its so lovely you are seeing white feathers too such a comfort. I hope your gut and nether regions are behaving and easing for you. How’s the anxiety. Mine is being truly horrible after these viruses but hopefully we will both get some relief soon. 

 

Thanks Scorpio, even if the little white feathers are pure coincidence, at least I'm seeing them.  I haven't seen any falling from the sky though, so I guess it depends on what the angels think is needed???

 

Unfortunately gut issues are a common symptom of grief, and also suppressed immune system.  I did the self-test last night, and no BV.

 

I know of old, that any significant stress will take its toll on my body 

 

Am so sorry you're suffering again my friend, you're being very stoic about it.

 

 

[Scorpio]

Hi jc

 

not really stoic, you should have seen how I behaved while going through this latest bug - a cowering wreck probably covers it!  

 

All you  can do is take time out for yourself to grieve, you have been through so much stress over the past months the mere fact you are upright while also coping with w/d is a testament to your inner strength. Just treat yourself like a delicate piece of china and don’t push yourself. Your symptoms will ease as your stress levels reduce. 

[Junglechicken]

31 minutes ago, Scorpio said:

Hi jc

 

not really stoic, you should have seen how I behaved while going through this latest bug - a cowering wreck probably covers it!  

 

All you  can do is take time out for yourself to grieve, you have been through so much stress over the past months the mere fact you are upright while also coping with w/d is a testament to your inner strength. Just treat yourself like a delicate piece of china and don’t push yourself. Your symptoms will ease as your stress levels reduce. 

 

Thank you Scorpio, although I've always plodded on through adversity....none of this feels very real at all. 

 

My therapist told me "this is very real, its happening"; and fortunately my ND sent some more herbal tincture which is hard hitting in terms of calming nerves etc.,  better than alcohol as no nasty side effects.