Downbutnotout Posted March 19, 2018 Author Share Posted March 19, 2018 28 minutes ago, Littlegrandma said: I too have had few windows in 10 mo. But this last week, with the exception of yesterday, has been a lot better. I wake every morning wishing that I was waking from a nightmare, just to realize it’s actually my life. Empty soul, empty head, but not empty heart. Even my reiki said my soul is depleted. Every day seems like a dream. The dp/ dr are extreme. I’m just going through motions that I don’t seem to be controlling. Nothing seems real. I live with nausea and headaches daily. Anxiety and depression. But...... though I’m terrified some days that this is never ending, I choose to believe that this will pass. That’s all I’ve got to hold on to. It’s what keeps me going. There’s too many success stories like Chia’s that H2H referred to. And H2H herself. And Alto, after being housebound for 4 yrs. And AliG. And brassmonkey. And Shep. I don’t think that AD meds are the answer. I never did. I let a psych sucker me into lexapro against my better judgement. It’s taken so much from me in the last 3 years. Time I will never get back. Not to mention the years I’ve still got to taper. There is no magic pill. I think you’ve found that out. They may have worked for a time, but you can’t “try on” anymore meds. They’re poison to you now. You’ve got to dig deep. Pull out that tool kit. You’ve got to look up!! Somehow you’ve got to put on your game face and put one foot in front of the other and march on. The depression isn’t going to magically disappear. You and I have to work at it. Im sorry you’re so down. I get it. I’m right with you. I want my life back also. I don’t want to go through the motions. I want to feel joy. It may not be this week or this year, but it will happen the further away we get from these drugs. If I didn’t have my kids begging me to try some on, it would be easier.They think I’ve been brainwashed by the internet. I did look up today. I did take a short walk. I’ve been away from the heavy duty 75. Mg of effexor since October. My LISW counselor told me to drop the beads. “After all you’re in a very severe depression, maybe they are doing you more harm that good.” She referred to them as grains. Shep does have an amazing, unbelievable story. So do the others. I just wish I had some real windows. Something to give me some hope. I’ve had maybe 3 or 4. In the beginning, I had a very strong one. I felt emotion and everything. I thought I was cured. That was before I reinstated anything. That makes me think maybe the beads are holding me up. I’m glad that you can really believe in the process. I’m sure that’s more than half the battle. I am still wondering if there’s something out there that might help me. I know irrational, stupid, and dangerous. 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted March 19, 2018 Share Posted March 19, 2018 9 minutes ago, Downbutnotout said: If I didn’t have my kids begging me to try some on, it would be easier. I did look up today. I did take a short walk. I’ve been away from the heavy duty 75. Mg of effexor since October. My LISW counselor told me to drop the beads. “After all you’re in a severe depression, maybe they are doing you more harm that good.” She referred to them as grains so I guess she really has no idea what she’s talking about. I believe they are doing more harm than good. My daughter pointed out to me yesterday, that with each taper I get a little better. Even with my last taper, being 5% instead of 2%, the WD symptoms were milder. Less poison in my system. She said she’s glad to have her mom back. Last year my daughter and husband thought that I should increase my dose, that I would probably need meds for life. Now they see it’s the drugs causing the problems. It’s good to have someone outside of myself seeing that I am improving. They remind me of how bad I was last year. It’s hard to see it from within when you feel so lousy. Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Downbutnotout Posted March 19, 2018 Author Share Posted March 19, 2018 1 minute ago, Littlegrandma said: I believe they are doing more harm than good. My daughter pointed out to me yesterday, that with each taper I get a little better. Even with my last taper, being 5% instead of 2%, the WD symptoms were milder. Less poison in my system. She said she’s glad to have her mom back. Last year my daughter and husband thought that I should increase my dose, that I would probably need meds for life. Now they see it’s the drugs causing the problems. It’s good to have someone outside of myself seeing that I am improving. They remind me of how bad I was last year. It’s hard to see it from within when you feel so lousy. Good for you. That does tell you, you are improving. It’s so hard on our kids. I want to get well for them. 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment
Downbutnotout Posted March 19, 2018 Author Share Posted March 19, 2018 Just now, Downbutnotout said: Good for you. That does tell you, you are improving. It’s so hard on our kids. I want to get well for them. And my husband. My dtr is in London, and it would be such an opportunity to visit her. In normal times, I’d be chomping on the bit to visit her. It’s so sad. She’s only there till September. 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted March 19, 2018 Share Posted March 19, 2018 traveling is one thing I really miss. We like to take long weekend getaways. Besides a longer winter vacation. I would not be able to handle the airport let alone the flight. I’m sorry. That sucks. What a great opportunity for you. But she is there til September. Things could turn around before then. 🤞🏻 Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Downbutnotout Posted March 19, 2018 Author Share Posted March 19, 2018 We have free airline tickets to fla. I am very afraid to try it. Especially after I went crazy last night. I’m going to try it or my husband. I used to be the one who wanted to go everywhere. He didn’t want to leave the house. It’s changed. 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted March 19, 2018 Share Posted March 19, 2018 That might just be what the doctor ordered. After a long winter, a few days on the beach would do you good. If you can handle a plane trip right now, go for it!! Ive got 2 friends in fla asking me to come down. One is an old dear friend from grade school. She knows about my drug taper and is one of my biggest supporters. She wants me to come down for a couple weeks to take care of me. So sweet. But I have the grandkids and then there’s that issue of the airport. Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Kristine Posted March 19, 2018 Share Posted March 19, 2018 1 hour ago, Downbutnotout said: . But every time I try, I think about all the bad stuff. Whilst focusing on your breath, do this... Citalopram 20mg - 40mg ~ approx 2010 - October 2015 (stopped over one week) Parnate 20mg - 50mg and olazapine 5mg ~ Jan 2016 - May 2016 (ceased over 2 days) Lithium 450mg-900 mg and Thyroxin ~May 2016 - May 2017 Diazepam various doses (including PRN) ~ 2015 - 2017 Oxazepam various doses (including PRN) ~ May 2016 - June 2016 Lurasidone 20mg ~Mid May 2016 - Mid June 2016 Vortioxetine 10mg - 20mg ~ 6th June 2016 - 20th July 2016 (abruptly ceased) Amitriptyline 200mg ~July 2016 - September 2016 (ceased over 1 week) Nortriptyline (dose ?) ~October 2016 ~ November 2016 (abruptly ceased) Seroquel XR 100mg - 300mg ~ May 2016 - August 2017 (ceased over 3 weeks) Escitalopram 10mg - 30mg ~ August 2016 - March 2017 (ceased over 2 weeks) Bupropion 300mg ~ December 2016 - May 2017 (ceased over 1 week) Clonazepam 1.5mg daily ~ July 2016 (started tapering May 2017 - September 2017 currently on 0.375mg..ie 0.125mg TDS) 27th May 2018 5% 0.357mg (possible paradoxical reaction - see benzo thread) 28th June 5% 0.337mg, 28th July 10% 0.303mg, 12th September10% 0.272mg, 18th September reinstated 10% due to intolerable WD 0.303mg, 1st October-11th Oct 10% (1% reduction over 10 days) 0.272mg, 22nd October clonazepam ceased crossed over 10mg diazepam Dexamphatamine 20mg ~ December 2016 (started tapering October 2017 - tapered 1.25mg 4th Dec 2017, 1.25mg 19th Dec 2017 6.25mg, Speed up decrease due to major interaction between Dex and fluoxetine- ref to thread 10% 17th Feb 2018 5.63mg, 10% 21st Feb 2018 5.1mg, 10% 26th Feb 2018 4.5mg 10% 28th Feb 4.1mg, 10% 1st March 3.7mg, 10% 5th March 3.3mg, 10% 8th March 3mg, 10% 10th March 2.7mg, 10% 12th March 2.4mg, 10% 14th March 2.16mg, 10% 16th March 1.94mg, 10% 18th March 1.74mg, 10% 20th March 1.57mg, 10% 21st March 1.41mg, 10% 22nd March 1.26mg, 10% 23rd March 1.13mg, 10% 24th March 1.01mg, 10% 25th March 0.9mg, 10% 27th March 0.81mg, 10% 29th March 0.73mg, 10% 31st March 0.66mg, 10% 2nd April 0.59mg , 10% 4th April 0.53mg, 10% 6th April 0.47mg, 10% 8th April 0.42mg, 10%10th April 0.37mg, 11th April 0.2mg, 12th April 0.1mg (last dose) OFF! Fluoxetine 40mg ~December 2016 - 31 Jan 2018 reduced to 20mg (probable serotonin toxicity) 10th March 2020 10mg (1:1 ratio), 7th April 9mg, 1st May 8.5mg, 15th May 8.0mg, 27th May 7.5mg, 8th Sept 7.2mg, 2nd Oct 7mg, 19th Oct 6.8mg, 28th Oct 6.6mg, 5th Nov 6.4mg, 26th Nov 6mg, 2nd April 2021 5.9mg, 9th April 5.8mg, 19th April 5.75mg, 22nd April 5.7mg, 26th April 5.65mg,28th April 5.6mg, 1st May 5.5mg, 4th May 5.45mg, 7th May 5.4mg, 10th May 5.35mg, 12th May 5.3mg, 15th May 5.25mg, 18th May 5.2mg, 20th May 5.15mg, 22nd May 5mg, 10th July 4.5mg, 9th Aug 4.48mg (switched from syringe to pipette method), 12th Aug 4.46mg, 14th Aug 4.4mg, 18th Aug 4.38mg, 19th Aug 4.36mg, 20th Aug 4.34, 21st 4.32mg, 22nd 4.3mg, 23rd Aug 4mg (hold), (micro-taper) 12th Oct 2021 3.98mg, 14th Oct 3.96mg, 15th Oct 3.94mg, 16th Oct 3.92mg, 17th Oct 3.9mg, 18th Oct 3.88mg, 19th Oct 3.86mg, 21st Oct 3.84mg, 22nd Oct 3.82mg, 23rd Oct 3.8mg, 24th Oct 3.78mg, 25th Oct 3.76mg, 26th Oct 3.74mg, 27th Oct 3.72mg, (WD reached intolerable level, reinstated 0.06mg) 28th Oct 3.8mg, 7th March 2022 3.7mg, 21st March 3.6mg, 4th April 3.5mg, 18th April 3.4mg, 2nd May 3.3mg, 16th May 3.2mg, 20th June 3.1mg, 4th July 3mg, 18th July 2.9mg, 12th September 2.7mg, 18th October 2.5mg, 14th Nov 2.3mg, 12th December 2.1mg, 18th January 2023 1.9mg, 9th July 2023 1.88mg, 16th July 1.86mg, 23rd July 1.84mg, 30th July 1.82mg, 6th Aug 1.80mg, 10th Sept 1.7mg, 12th Oct 1.68mg, 23rd Oct 1.66mg, 30th Oct 1.64mg, 6th Nov 1.62mg, 13th Nov 1.60mg, (2:1 ratio) 30th Dec 1.597mg, 7th Jan 2024 1.595mg, 8th 1.592mg, 10th 1.589, 11th 1.587, 12th 1.585, 13th 1.583, 14th 1.58 cont… 5th Feb 1.56mg, 11th Feb 1.55mg, 19th Feb 1.54mg, 26th Feb 1.53mg, 4th March 1.52mg, 11th March 1.51mg, 25th March 1.50mg, 1st April 1.49mg, 8th April 1.48mg, 15th April 1.47mg, 22nd April 1.46mg, 29th April 1.45mg Diazepam 10mg ~ 22nd Oct 2018, 10th November 8mg, 14th Nov 7mg, 8th December 6mg, 30th December 5mg (Nocte), 7th March 2019 4.5mg,14th March 4mg, 5th April 3.5mg, 9th April 3mg, 18th April 2.5mg,1st May 2mg, 17th May 1.75mg, 25th May 1.6mg, 4th June 1.59mg, 5th June 1.58mg, 6th June 1.57mg, 7th June 1.56mg, 8th June 1.55mg, 22nd June 1.4mg, 4th July 1.2mg, 16th July 1mg, 30th July 0.8mg, 13th Aug 0.6mg, 28th Aug 0.4mg, 10th Sept 0.2mg, 23rd Sept Off! SR Circadin 2mg (melatonin) 25th May - 20th June Zolpidem 10mg 25th May (7 tablets) Supplements: Magnesium glycinate (soluble - sip throughout the day) "Whenever you feel yourself doubting how far you can go, just remember how far you have come. Remember everything you have faced, all the battles you have won, and all the fears you have overcome" Unknown Link to comment
Downbutnotout Posted March 19, 2018 Author Share Posted March 19, 2018 Another day almost done. No, back to bed, and hoping I get up feeling like my old self. Wouldn’t that be so wonderful? Just for a morning. I’ll think positive. Maybe I’ll get up and go to the pool. Just like I used to. And it will be great. I’ll feel so good after I’m done swimming. My neurotransmitters will be humming along. I’ll feel happy. 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment
Downbutnotout Posted March 19, 2018 Author Share Posted March 19, 2018 1 hour ago, Littlegrandma said: That might just be what the doctor ordered. After a long winter, a few days on the beach would do you good. If you can handle a plane trip right now, go for it!! Ive got 2 friends in fla asking me to come down. One is an old dear friend from grade school. She knows about my drug taper and is one of my biggest supporters. She wants me to come down for a couple weeks to take care of me. So sweet. But I have the grandkids and then there’s that issue of the airport. Since I’m so into my own misery, I didn’t even comment on the battle your waging. It sounds like you’re really suffering too. Even more with the headaches and the other symptoms. I’m glad you can be hopeful. I don’t know how you can take care of your grandchildren in the state your in, but I’m sure that gives you a mission in life. You must have a lot going for you. 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment
Downbutnotout Posted March 19, 2018 Author Share Posted March 19, 2018 4 hours ago, wantrelief said: I just read this from RM's thread. Good for you for trying with your grandson. This is really scary and I completely understand your fears about it not going away. I keep reading threads of people who are recovering well or the success stories to believe it will happen for us too someday. That is the strangest analogy your doctor used about medication.....like these drugs are as benign as trying on a dress?!! That really has to take the cake for an ignorant statement made by a doctor. You are doing better than you think you are, DNBO. Just trying with your grandson today is great. I know it must feel really awful to have to try whereas before it was effortless but keep trying. One day you will realize you are not having to try as much as you were until it becomes effortless and natural again. Thank you for our comments want relief. I know you’ve been suffering for a long time too. I appreciate the support you gave me. I hope you’re doing better. I really do. 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment
Downbutnotout Posted March 19, 2018 Author Share Posted March 19, 2018 On 3/18/2018 at 5:14 PM, ChessieCat said: 6 hours ago, Downbutnotout said: I don’t know how irrationally you ever acted while recovering. How bad did you get? Are there other people who were bouncing off the walls? I think it would be better to start asking "how did you get through this?" 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment
wantrelief Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 Hi DBNO, Thanks for your support on my thread. I wanted to come by to see how are you doing? -1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD) -10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot -Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram -Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015 -8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?) - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg). Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin Citalopram taper: 2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg; 3/29/24: 1.17 mg; 4/5/24: 1.14 mg; 4/13/24: 1.11 mg; 4/20/24: 1.09 mg; 4/27/24: 1.06 mg Link to comment
Downbutnotout Posted March 20, 2018 Author Share Posted March 20, 2018 If I could boot the depression it would be a lot better. Also we share the appetite thing. It makes sense that you can’t get pleasure out if eating if the pleasure thing is out of service. What can you do? I’m trying to get used to the idea that my pleasure thing is out of service. I was eating with a lady who told me she lost her appetite when she got the flu. And I’m thinking I’ve lost mine for 9 months. I have a thing where I want to constantly lay down. Well I don’t have any headaches or anything like that. I’m not nauceous.im not throwing up. I don’t have pins and needles. Wish I had better news. I hope you’re feeling better. The name of the blog I had for a number of years was joy at 60 so you know I wasn’t always like this. 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment
AliG Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
AliG Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 Please have a look at this ~ It puts the whole " depression" scenario to rest ~ maybe, you can too. 8.00 faith/ hope 11.00 tools? 17.00 " I am my own science project". 18. 00 plant 20.00 " mental illness". Before SA, I thought I had a "mental illness" and it was such a relief to find that I did not ~ even now, I get so angry , but I researched and now I know the truth. This is what you have to do, too. Get on with it ! Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
wantrelief Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 55 minutes ago, Downbutnotout said: If I could boot the depression it would be a lot better. Also we share the appetite thing. It makes sense that you can’t get pleasure out if eating if the pleasure thing is out of service. What can you do? I’m trying to get used to the idea that my pleasure thing is out of service. I was eating with a lady who told me she lost her appetite when she got the flu. And I’m thinking I’ve lost mine for 9 months. I have a thing where I want to constantly lay down. Well I don’t have any headaches or anything like that. I’m not nauceous.im not throwing up. I don’t have pins and needles. Wish I had better news. I hope you’re feeling better. The name of the blog I had for a number of years was joy at 60 so you know I wasn’t always like this. I also have the constant need to lie down. I hope the video Ali shared with you was inspirational. We have to believe that we are not any different than the woman, Rose, in the video or others here who have made it to the other side of this. It won't always be this way, DBNO. -1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD) -10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot -Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram -Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015 -8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?) - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg). Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin Citalopram taper: 2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg; 3/29/24: 1.17 mg; 4/5/24: 1.14 mg; 4/13/24: 1.11 mg; 4/20/24: 1.09 mg; 4/27/24: 1.06 mg Link to comment
Downbutnotout Posted March 20, 2018 Author Share Posted March 20, 2018 1 hour ago, AliG said: Please have a look at this ~ It puts the whole " depression" scenario to rest ~ maybe, you can too. 8.00 faith/ hope 11.00 tools? 17.00 " I am my own science project". 18. 00 plant 20.00 " mental illness". Before SA, I thought I had a "mental illness" and it was such a relief to find that I did not ~ even now, I get so angry , but I researched and now I know the truth. This is what you have to do, too. Get on with it ! I did go to doc who had me eliminate dairy, flour and wheat. It was really difficult. It didn’t seem to make a difference in how I was feeling. She also gave me a ton of vitamins that finished the job and sent me back to the psychiatrist. This works for everyone? You do not think there’s such a thing as mental illness? Maybe not in your case. How depressed did you get? Did you feel no pleasure or joy? Why do I feel like I had a chemical lobotomy? I am so unmotivated. I was functioning until the effexir pooped out. I didn’t think about killing myself on it, but I’m thinking if it every day now. How am I going to do this? How am I going to survive? I feel so down in the dumps. Give me a start plan. Is this just the matter of brainwashing yourself it’s going to work? I have no windows! She had the energy to go out and hike. I can’t even get around the block. I used to exercise 2 hours a day and I loved it. So give me am an idea what to eat? You keep forgetting I am older and was on this stuff for 25 years. 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment
Downbutnotout Posted March 20, 2018 Author Share Posted March 20, 2018 44 minutes ago, wantrelief said: I also have the constant need to lie down. I hope the video Ali shared with you was inspirational. We have to believe that we are not any different than the woman, Rose, in the video or others here who have made it to the other side of this. It won't always be this way, DBNO. Are you meditating and changing your diet? Are you walking? What did you do today. I am going to walk around the block now. It’s a mile. What are you doing? I may go to the pool instead. I used to do that every day. Instead I really want to lay down and feel sorry for myself. I’ve only been doing that for around 2 weeks. It’s like I’m compelled to do it. It’s sick. 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment
wantrelief Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 2 minutes ago, Downbutnotout said: Are you meditating and changing your diet? Are you walking? What did you do today. I am going to walk around the block now. It’s a mile. That is great you are going to go for a walk, DBNO! I am going to take a short walk soon as well. I also can't walk very far or fast for that matter....I am not sure why. I haven't done much today - I paid a bill and am doing some laundry. I find it incredibly difficult to go out unless I have to but make myself go out at least once a day, even if it is just for a walk. I have not radically changed my diet. I am trying to make sure I am eating more protein and regularly as well as adding in some healthy fats. I do a short meditation before bed most nights and do some breathing at other times during the day - I am trying to do this regularly and not just in moments of anxiety/panic. These small changes I've incorporated into my life have taken awhile to start doing because of the motivation problem I know you struggle with as well. I want to make some boiled eggs and have some eggs in my refrigerator but have not been able to make myself boil them - that is a goal for this week; maybe I'll even accomplish it today! I am embarrassed to share this in public but thought it might be helpful for you because maybe you can relate. I hope you had a good walk. Any signs of spring where you are? -1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD) -10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot -Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram -Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015 -8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?) - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg). Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin Citalopram taper: 2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg; 3/29/24: 1.17 mg; 4/5/24: 1.14 mg; 4/13/24: 1.11 mg; 4/20/24: 1.09 mg; 4/27/24: 1.06 mg Link to comment
AliG Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 We are all struggling , D. ~ I have to force myself everyday, to interact and keep going. This is difficult ... not easy ... You are not the only one to have to deal with this . Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
Downbutnotout Posted March 20, 2018 Author Share Posted March 20, 2018 13 minutes ago, wantrelief said: That is great you are going to go for a walk, DBNO! I am going to take a short walk soon as well. I also can't walk very far or fast for that matter....I am not sure why. I haven't done much today - I paid a bill and am doing some laundry. I find it incredibly difficult to go out unless I have to but make myself go out at least once a day, even if it is just for a walk. I have not radically changed my diet. I am trying to make sure I am eating more protein and regularly as well as adding in some healthy fats. I do a short meditation before bed most nights and do some breathing at other times during the day - I am trying to do this regularly and not just in moments of anxiety/panic. These small changes I've incorporated into my life have taken awhile to start doing because of the motivation problem I know you struggle with as well. I want to make some boiled eggs and have some eggs in my refrigerator but have not been able to make myself boil them - that is a goal for this week; maybe I'll even accomplish it today! I am embarrassed to share this in public but thought it might be helpful for you because maybe you can relate. I hope you had a good walk. Any signs of spring where you are? I haven’t left the house yet. Actually, winter is returning for a few days. I did force myself to go to lunch and engage in conversation. It wasn’t easy hiding this. I’m not doing such a hot job. What worries me it’s gotten worse. I’m not sure why. 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment
Downbutnotout Posted March 20, 2018 Author Share Posted March 20, 2018 25 minutes ago, AliG said: We are all struggling , D. ~ I have to force myself everyday, to interact and keep going. This is difficult ... not easy ... You are not the only one to have to deal with this . I thought you were doing well. It seems like it. You’ve been working on this for several years? 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment
wantrelief Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 54 minutes ago, Downbutnotout said: I haven’t left the house yet. Actually, winter is returning for a few days. I did force myself to go to lunch and engage in conversation. It wasn’t easy hiding this. I’m not doing such a hot job. What worries me it’s gotten worse. I’m not sure why. That is great you went out to lunch and engaged in conversation. I know how hard that is, you should be proud of this accomplishment. I feel like you don't give yourself enough credit for what you do, like your saying that you are "not doing such a hot job". Do you feel like your symptoms are actually worsening or is it more how you feel about this situation? I know for me I have days where I seem to cope better with the symptoms/situation and other days not so much but the symptoms themselves really haven't changed. -1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD) -10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot -Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram -Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015 -8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?) - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg). Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin Citalopram taper: 2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg; 3/29/24: 1.17 mg; 4/5/24: 1.14 mg; 4/13/24: 1.11 mg; 4/20/24: 1.09 mg; 4/27/24: 1.06 mg Link to comment
wantrelief Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 I forgot to say that it has helped that the weather has shifted here to having some sunny days. It doesn't take away how I am feeling but it does help to see the flowers and feel the sun (and I am not even a sun type of person!). I am hopeful once you get more spring like weather it will help a bit as well. -1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD) -10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot -Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram -Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015 -8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?) - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg). Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin Citalopram taper: 2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg; 3/29/24: 1.17 mg; 4/5/24: 1.14 mg; 4/13/24: 1.11 mg; 4/20/24: 1.09 mg; 4/27/24: 1.06 mg Link to comment
Downbutnotout Posted March 20, 2018 Author Share Posted March 20, 2018 16 minutes ago, wantrelief said: That is great you went out to lunch and engaged in conversation. I know how hard that is, you should be proud of this accomplishment. I feel like you don't give yourself enough credit for what you do, like your saying that you are "not doing such a hot job". Do you feel like your symptoms are actually worsening or is it more how you feel about this situation? I know for me I have days where I seem to cope better with the symptoms/situation and other days not so much but the symptoms themselves really haven't changed. I also walked around the block. It’s all flat. Like my mood. LOL. Anyway, yes, I feel like the depression is worsening. I have a feeling i’s because I’m only taking 6 beads and that doesn’t really do anything for depression,. So, it’s like i’m Taking nothing, and it’s been since October. I am never coping with this situation because I still vaguely remember enjoying life. The symptom I disklike the most is feeling no emotion. Except anger, jealousy, and frustration. Do you feel those? I still can’t cry or laugh. When I cry I get a little bit of tears. I am still taking trazadone 50 mg which I’d love to get rid of too. I just like to know how much of this is keeping my emotions from coming back. I got very hostile two days before. I’d upped the beads to 8. I don’t know if that was coincidental or not. I’m making my poor husband so unhappy. I took away this stuff 3 years ago too rapidly and had 5 months of feeling great emotions, but than I crashed . I keep thinking if it happened once, why isn’t it happening twice? . That’s why I went for tms. I thought I’d be able to get off drugs and have my mood lift. I tried it twice and it didn’t work. I’m certain my neurotransmitters are really sparse wo the drugs. i wish I’d have the nerve to ct it and see if it would happen again, but they say that’s a no no on here. I’m a little sorry I reinstated. I had terrible anxiety when I reinstated. I never got rid of the trazadone. Several years ago I just stopped it. Wish I’d done it the right way then. I might be singing a different song now. 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment
Downbutnotout Posted March 20, 2018 Author Share Posted March 20, 2018 8 minutes ago, wantrelief said: I forgot to say that it has helped that the weather has shifted here to having some sunny days. It doesn't take away how I am feeling but it does help to see the flowers and feel the sun (and I am not even a sun type of person!). I am hopeful once you get more spring like weather it will help a bit as well. I know it rains it Seattle a lot doesn’t it. It’s gray in Ohio too. 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment
wantrelief Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 4 minutes ago, Downbutnotout said: I also walked around the block. It’s all flat. Like my mood. LOL. Anyway, yes, I feel like the depression is worsening. I have a feeling i’s because I’m only taking 6 beads and that doesn’t really do anything for depression,. So, it’s like i’m Taking nothing, and it’s been since October. I am never coping with this situation because I still vaguely remember enjoying life. The symptom I disklike the most is feeling no emotion. Except anger, jealousy, and frustration. Do you feel those? I still can’t cry or laugh. When I cry I get a little bit of tears. I am still taking trazadone 50 mg which I’d love to get rid of too. I just like to know how much of this is keeping my emotions from coming back. I got very hostile two days before. I’d upped the beads to 8. I don’t know if that was coincidental or not. I’m making my poor husband so unhappy. I took away this stuff 3 years ago too rapidly and had 5 months of feeling great emotions, but than I crashed. You still have a sense of humor, whether you see it or not. If you can feel anger, jealousy, frustration then you can feel emotion as unsettling as those particular emotions may be. And, yes, I feel the same emotions as you - all humans do. Just because you remember enjoying life does not mean you are "never coping". We all remember enjoying life and no one here wants to be going through this, we all want to be living a healthy life. I am sorry we are both stuck in this predicament. -1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD) -10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot -Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram -Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015 -8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?) - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg). Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin Citalopram taper: 2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg; 3/29/24: 1.17 mg; 4/5/24: 1.14 mg; 4/13/24: 1.11 mg; 4/20/24: 1.09 mg; 4/27/24: 1.06 mg Link to comment
Downbutnotout Posted March 20, 2018 Author Share Posted March 20, 2018 2 minutes ago, wantrelief said: You still have a sense of humor, whether you see it or not. If you can feel anger, jealousy, frustration then you can feel emotion as unsettling as those particular emotions may be. And, yes, I feel the same emotions as you - all humans do. Just because you remember enjoying life does not mean you are "never coping". We all remember enjoying life and no one here wants to be going through this, we all want to be living a healthy life. I am sorry we are both stuck in this predicament. It’s unbelievably cruel. I want the good ones back! 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment
Downbutnotout Posted March 20, 2018 Author Share Posted March 20, 2018 1 hour ago, AliG said: We are all struggling , D. ~ I have to force myself everyday, to interact and keep going. This is difficult ... not easy ... You are not the only one to have to deal with this . What about using supplements like 5http, b vitamins. And Sam-e amino stuff. 1 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment
Downbutnotout Posted March 21, 2018 Author Share Posted March 21, 2018 What bothers me the most is the depression I’m suffering was there before I ever stopped any medicine. It is not the result of stopping the medicine. How many people on here were depressed when they stopped the “medication.” 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment
Downbutnotout Posted March 21, 2018 Author Share Posted March 21, 2018 Trying to distract. 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment
Downbutnotout Posted March 21, 2018 Author Share Posted March 21, 2018 I wish I’d get some relief. My head really feels funny. Does anyone else feel the low mood and have their head feel like they’re out if it? I really am having trouble tolerating this. There is something going on in my head. Is this symptom sound familiar to snyone else? I’m starting to wonder if I have something else wrong with me. My internist told me she’s sure it’s my transmitters. All I took today was 6 beads if effexor. 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment
Mentor FarmGirlWorks Posted March 21, 2018 Mentor Share Posted March 21, 2018 11 minutes ago, Downbutnotout said: Does anyone else feel the low mood and have their head feel like they’re out if it? After a window yesterday, my head feels like it is stuffed full of cotton today and is about ready to burst. I think that it is a sign of a healing brain and nothing to be worried about. Sure, it is not ideal but it is a sign of healing... Prozac | late 2004-mid-2005 | CT WD in a couple months, mostly emotional Sertraline 50-100mg | 11/2011-3/2014, 10/2014-3/2017 Sertraline fast taper March 2017, 4 weeks, OFF sertraline April 1, 2017 Quit alcohol May 20, 2017 Lifestyle changes: AA, kundalini yoga "If you've seen a monster, even if it's horrible, that's evidence of divinity." – Damien Echols Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 Yes foggy brain. Dp/dr. Don’t feel like I’m in my own body. Nothing seems real. My brain and head actually feel numb. I just wrote on another thread.... i was listening to dr Kelly Brogan. She recommends yoga, exercise, and a paleo diet. Helps with inflammation in the gut as well as the brain, which in turn helps clear the cog fog. She’s a psych dr who no longer prescribes psych meds. She believes depression and anxiety can be cured through meditation, yoga, exercise diet. I started a gluten free, dairy free diet today. I’m starved!! Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Downbutnotout Posted March 21, 2018 Author Share Posted March 21, 2018 I just wish I’d get a window. It’s not like being full of Cotten. It’s like really low low. 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment
Recommended Posts