☼ meistersinger

[meistersinger]

I did finally find a place to live. I'm living with a farmer in the southern end of the county, who I went to school with, but couldn't seem to recall. A friend of his has the same name as me, but his daughter told him to call me anyway. He is ex military, but in no way like the first shirt. At least we agree to disagree. Once I told him I was in band in high school, he realized who I was. It also turns out his ex is the sister of another friend of mine, who I haven't seen in years. Also, a mechanic I used for years before he moved to delaware, his brother lives over on the next hill. This guy's is in even poorer shape than I am. Turns out this guy's sister married my landlord's brother. The conversations we've been having all evening were interesting. I got this room because his mother moved in with her sister for the time being. While this guy's a farmer, he is also disabled, due to an accident when he was working as a welder. This is going to be interesting...

[Barbarannamated]

That's GREAT, Meistersinger! I'm so relieved and happy for you! It sounds like you have alot of common ground and this man will be understanding of being on disability, unlike your family.

 

What a great message to start my day.

[Skyler]

I did finally find a place to live. I'm living with a farmer in the southern end of the county, who I went to school with, but couldn't seem to recall. A friend of his has the same name as me, but his daughter told him to call me anyway. He is ex military, but in no way like the first shirt. At least we agree to disagree. Once I told him I was in band in high school, he realized who I was. It also turns out his ex is the sister of another friend of mine, who I haven't seen in years. Also, a mechanic I used for years before he moved to delaware, his brother lives over on the next hill. This guy's is in even poorer shape than I am. Turns out this guy's sister married my landlord's brother. The conversations we've been having all evening were interesting. I got this room because his mother moved in with her sister for the time being. While this guy's a farmer, he is also disabled, due to an accident when he was working as a welder. This is going to be interesting...

 

Hip Hip Hooray. YOUR NEWS MADE MY DAY! Magnificent. Right up the slot for what you need, everything fell into place. It pays to be in the area you grew up without a doubt, what a break. Great place. What a grand post to wake up to. WHEN DO YOU MOVE IN?

 

CONGRATULATIONS !!!

[meistersinger]

 

I did finally find a place to live. I'm living with a farmer in the southern end of the county, who I went to school with, but couldn't seem to recall. A friend of his has the same name as me, but his daughter told him to call me anyway. He is ex military, but in no way like the first shirt. At least we agree to disagree. Once I told him I was in band in high school, he realized who I was. It also turns out his ex is the sister of another friend of mine, who I haven't seen in years. Also, a mechanic I used for years before he moved to delaware, his brother lives over on the next hill. This guy's is in even poorer shape than I am. Turns out this guy's sister married my landlord's brother. The conversations we've been having all evening were interesting. I got this room because his mother moved in with her sister for the time being. While this guy's a farmer, he is also disabled, due to an accident when he was working as a welder. This is going to be interesting...

 

Hip Hip Hooray. YOUR NEWS MADE MY DAY! Magnificent. Right up the slot for what you need, everything fell into place. It pays to be in the area you grew up without a doubt, what a break. Great place. What a grand post to wake up to. WHEN DO YOU MOVE IN?

 

CONGRATULATIONS !!!

 

I moved in last night. We were both up talking until almost 4 am. He works at a pig farm up the road, is an army vet, is disabled due to a welding accident, and has ADHD. He is renting rooms as his mother moved in with her sister temporarily because of her health. Unlike the first shirt, you can talk to this guy. This is going to be interesting, he's ADHD and I have asperger's. He told me last night, his drill instructor from basic training told him at one you don't need family, since family knows what buttons to push. He also agrees that bipolar, as diagnosed is bull****, which I countered that why was I spending money freely at 10 or 11, and I wasn't taking medicine? I used to be considered a spendthrift, although spending the money made me feel relief at the time, and, when I was older, justify purchasing an iPod, iPad, iPhone, etc. for training, which there was never enough time to do at work, use the phone as a multipurpose device, GPS navigation, etc. I don't agree with some of his bad habits, but as long as he stays discrete about it, I'm not going to worry. Ditto with me.

 

We were just out in the garage cleaning it up. He did most of the work, despite his back. I did some odd work out there, so at least I felt useful. I'm feeling a bit better already.

[Barbarannamated]

THRILLED for you, Meistersinger!! You seem to be settling in and relaxed already.

 

Regarding spending... IMO there are many reasons that people spend or go on sprees, none indicative of bipolar disorder which, I believe, is extremely rare. I think that when one is feeling devalued, bored, hopeless, it's not unusual to buy something - or lots of somethings - to feel valued or "deserving" or hopeful of improving life.. a formal gown or business suit, for example . Just a thought.

 

Enjoy your new digs. Very happy for you.

[Skyler]

He is renting rooms as his mother moved in with her sister temporarily because of her health. Unlike the first shirt, you can talk to this guy. This is going to be interesting, he's ADHD and I have asperger's. He told me last night, his drill instructor from basic training told him at one you don't need family, since family knows what buttons to push.

I agree with what Barb said in her last post about spending not being an exclusive symptom of bipolar. In fact, most times there are issues with spending it is not bipolar.. and oft times folks with Asperger's have difficulties with finances. Pretty common it would seem.

 

He also agrees that bipolar, as diagnosed is bull****, which I countered that why was I spending money freely at 10 or 11, and I wasn't taking medicine? I used to be considered a spendthrift, although spending the money made me feel relief at the time.

 

I don't agree with some of his bad habits, but as long as he stays discrete about it, I'm not going to worry. Ditto with me, I'm feeling a bit better already.

 

I'm not sure what your purpose is for mentioning you were not taking medicine, but bipolar is way over medicated, and the Dx itself is a gateway to being given all manner of crippling drugs you do not want to get near.

 

I'm going to read a book entitled "Parallel Play: Growing Up with Undiagnosed Asperger's" by Tim Page. Tim is a noted music critic who describes his life-long unease. I wonder if you would benefit from doing some reading on the subject? I'll let you know how the book is when I get it.

 

Yes.. you do need to stay clear of his (nickname?) bad habits. I wonder if his mother is expected to return.

 

One suggestion.. when you talk with your case worker, ask her if she knows of anyone who can go with you to the meeting you will have on your student loan? That is probably the next big hurdle you have.

 

Hope you are sleeping much better! Again, congrats.

[Karma]

Oh, Meistersinger, this is such great news! I've been praying for you to find a safe place where you can heal in peace. It sounds like your landlord is understanding. Being able to agree to disagree is a significant step forward after the abuse you suffered at the hands of your brother.

 

Sounds like you are in a much safer place. Let the healing begin!

 

Love and light,

Karma

[meistersinger]

My landlord, Doc, is quite a unique character. Turns out, we would have graduated from the same high school, had he not quit the first day of his senior year, and joined the Army, where he earned his diploma. It also turns out that his ex-wife, who posted the ad on Craigslist for him, older brothers, are friends of mine, although I haven't seen either of them in almost 35 years. He also knows #2 brother's ex-wife. Since Doc is ex-Arny, he has some issues with ADHD and possibly some OCD. His doctor has him on Gabapetin and Vioxx for the pain. I asked him if he knew that both drugs are psychiatric drugs, which he did not know, however, since he's in pain most of the time, I'm OK with since he's OK with it. Ditto with tapering antidepressants: if it's doing harm to, get off it , but do it slowly.

 

I did meet his mother yesterday. Since the house is in her name, she was home to do her laundry. She is currently staying with her sister, since she will be having back surgery this Wednesday. She.reminds me of my mother, as she got older.

 

Doc can be a bit frustrating to deal with, I agree, but I think a little subtle education a little subtle therapy and a lot of time may help.

 

Like I said, what he does in his room when the door is closed is his business and none of mine. Same priciple applies with my room. We should get along fine. It can get interesting at times, but we let each other be ourselves.

[areyouthere]

We should get along fine. It can get interesting at times, but we let each other be ourselves.

 

AMEN brother!!!!! Boy, if anyone deserves that kind of respect it's all of us!! And I am so glad that after so much dang time you finally get some of what we all deserve and you haven't seemed to be able to find for awhile.. Now let the real healing begin meistersinger!!!

[Skyler]

Doc can be a bit frustrating to deal with, I agree, but I think a little subtle education a little subtle therapy and a lot of time may help.

 

Like I said, what he does in his room when the door is closed is his business and none of mine. Same priciple applies with my room. We should get along fine. It can get interesting at times, but we let each other be ourselves.

 

If there is anyone who realizes the importance of patience and compassion, it is you. You sure had a lot dished out to you by 1st Shirt and Co. and know all too well the hurting end of things. I'm glad you are in an environment that values understanding and kindness.

[Barbarannamated]

"1st Shirt and Co." FIRED!

[meistersinger]

After church this morning, as I was taking off my choir robe, the alto soloist slipped me a $20.00 bill. Exactly what I needed, since I only had a quarter tank of gas, and the Sheetz on U.S. 30 across from the Motel 6 had regular unleaded gas at $3.75 a gallon, which is cheap compared to the east side of York. She told me, if I need any help with finances, call her, and she'll help whenever possible, since she is a cost accountant. I might have to talk to my OVR counselor, or the administrator of my student loans to have them discharged, since there was a lady in Baltimore that had her loans discharged due to Asperger's. I don't want to go that route, but I might not have a choice. Ditto with the rest of my debts, unless RepPay can work some deal to pay those private debts, as well as what I owe the city of Philadelphia, for what they say I still owe them on taxes from when I lived in Philadephia and was working for the Navy. (Again, I get the blame for something I already paid, and they ask for more after the statute of limitations has run out. Of course, the Navy, while they won't release information to local taxing authorities for U.S. Government employees, has no problem releasing that information on contractors. It also didn't help that my employer dumped the responsibility of local taxes on his employees. Then, of course, Social Security funds technically can not be garnished to pay private debts. Only federally backed debts, like student loans, taxes, etc can be attached to Social Security funds.

 

Anyhow, if you want to talk about an odd couple...

[Karma]

How nice of her!!! Meistersinger, you sound so much stronger ... I continue to pray for you, my friend. I am just delighted that things seem to be going your way. It is very nice that members of your church are looking out for you in one way or another.

 

It does sound like your landlord is quite the character and that you've found a safe place.

 

How are you doing on your pmed taper? No one would blame you for holding steady right now until you get all the financial stuff resolved. Just sayin'

 

Love and light

Karma

[meistersinger]

How nice of her!!! Meistersinger, you sound so much stronger ... I continue to pray for you, my friend. I am just delighted that things seem to be going your way. It is very nice that members of your church are looking out for you in one way or another.

 

It does sound like your landlord is quite the character and that you've found a safe place.

 

How are you doing on your pmed taper? No one would blame you for holding steady right now until you get all the financial stuff resolved. Just sayin'

 

Love and light

Karma

 

I just dropped .02 ml last night and tonight. Doc, my landlord, is telling me, why in the hell am I on this crap in the first place? He's here you dom't need a god damn psychiatrist or a therapist. If you need to talk, tap on my bedroom, come on in and talk (as if that's all we've been doing. He's talked to me more in the past week than he has talked to his mother, who goes under the knife on Wednesday for back surgery, in the past 6 months.

 

I did talk to my youngest brother's wife this afternoon, just to let her know where I'm at. She was busy with schooling with their son and daughter, so I didn't talk for long. I told Doc I used his phone this afternoon, which he's here, no problem, since he has unlimited calling without incurring local long distance. I told him, yes, I have Asperger's, and while I don't have them very often, I do have meltdowns, but you really have to push my buttons to start me on one, and that would probably be going mute. He did ask about my nephew, especially regarding his toilet training. I said he is still in diapers. Doc asked how old is he, and I said 14. He responds there is definitely a lot more going on with this kid. He's asks what about her family, since it definitely on my side of the family. I respond, I don't know her side of the family, and left it drop at that. I should have told her to call the other two brothers and have them come around, that way the could meet up with Doc's Security System (namely, a 12 gague shotgun rammed up their arses (very big evil grin...)

 

I did attempt to see my uncle the cowboy twice this evening. Turns out, he's 4 miles from the house. First time I went past, nobody's home. Second time, there was a car in the driveway, but nobody answering the door, until I look at my iPhone and see it's 8:30 PM. I'll try calling on him tomorrow, if I can find his number in the phone book.

[Barbarannamated]

Meistersinger,

 

I can't describe how relieved and happy I am that you've found not only a safe place to live, but also someone you can really talk to, man-to-man, with reciprocal respect and honesty. I get a warm, fuzzy feeling from your posts.

[meistersinger]

The only issue I have with Doc is he is a lot like I used to be: very easily hurt and insulted. He needs to learn to tolerate people that hurt him. He might forgive, but he doesn't forget. He still has some of the rigid military discipline in him. He definitely can't stand his brothers and relatives. While his mother was being registered at the hospital, she told him to be quiet, as she, at least what I could see and hear, was trying to follow what the registration clerk was telling her. He got quite insulted, and we left. He ranted and raved the entire way back to the house. I just listened and agreed with him the entire way home. He's acting the same way mom and her brother acted many years ago when her brother refused to help move grandma from where , she was living at the time. I'll have to find a way to let him know that everything shouldn't be taken literally and not to be so judgemental of family. Lord only knows I've fallen into that trap. I also need to find a way to slowly and patiently reduce or eliminate some of his vices, yet keep his sense of humor. He might throw me out of here for that, and that would be his right, but he needs to be more forgiving of people that wrong him. Scripture does say to forgive not 7 times, but 70 times 7. He says his brothers are jackasses. He may be right, I have no way to telling. I only met his one brother briefly, at the hospital.

 

I did get over to my uncle, the cowboy's place yesterday. Turns out he's with other nephews in the Northern Tier counties for bow hunting deer season, at least what his wife tells me. I told her what happened with me, told here where I'm staying for the time being. I asked about their 2 daughters. Both of them are divorced. The eldest lives in the area, and works for an insurance company. Her eldest son just graduated high school and joined the Army. The youngest will be a senior in high school this year. Their youngest daughter also has 2 children, one of them with Asperger's. I told my to tell her youngest daughter that it's going to be interesting, especially since I've been diagnosed with it. Her youngest is divorced due to physical abuse. She's been struggling to keep her, and her kids heads above water. I'll probably stop back there on Friday, when Cowboy is back from the mountains.

 

In short, to quote the Indian librarian S. I. Ranganathan, "Every Book it's Reader, Every Reader, his book." Take it for what it's worth.

[Skyler]

The only issue I have with Doc is he is a lot like I used to be: very easily hurt and insulted. He needs to learn to tolerate people that hurt him. He might forgive, but he doesn't forget. He still has some of the rigid military discipline in him. He definitely can't stand his brothers and relatives. While his mother was being registered at the hospital, she told him to be quiet, as she, at least what I could see and hear, was trying to follow what the registration clerk was telling her. He got quite insulted, and we left. He ranted and raved the entire way back to the house. I just listened and agreed with him the entire way home. He's acting the same way mom and her brother acted many years ago when her brother refused to help move grandma from where , she was living at the time. I'll have to find a way to let him know that everything shouldn't be taken literally and not to be so judgemental of family. Lord only knows I've fallen into that trap. I also need to find a way to slowly and patiently reduce or eliminate some of his vices, yet keep his sense of humor. He might throw me out of here for that, and that would be his right, but he needs to be more forgiving of people that wrong him.

 

Hi meister... I'm glad you have a place away from the motel, but on reading this I'm concerned. Obviously it would be better if Doc was less sensitive to criticism, but he has a right to be the way he is, just as you have the right to be as you are. If Doc were to tell you not to take things so concretely, would this make you different? I hope you are rethinking this, because Doc has every right to be judgemental. That is the way he sees the world, and that world view stems from the fabric of who he is.. from the person you like! From the person who understands your situation.

 

I'm not sure what you mean by Doc's voices, but we all have an inner parent that speaks to us, and some of us hear voices that seem very real. I do not want to see you dispossessed of a good place to live because you decided to neutralize Doc's inner voices, and you do not have the power to change them in any event. He has to live in his world just as you yourself must live in yours. I hope you understand my caution, and it would appear I'm not alone in my take on this message, as no others have chimed in.

 

Please, do not put yourself at risk. There is that in you that wants to 'fix' Doc. DON'T GO THERE. Trying to change people for their own good reveals the self-destructive pattern instilled in you by your most dysfunctional family. In reality, all that happens is you open yourself up to get very hurt. You may be sorely tempted to voice your opinion, but this does not mean it's the right thing to do.

 

I'm suspicious your desire to 'make everything right' is the way you set yourself up for harm in the past. Please think this through very carefully.. DON'T DO ANYTHING TO JEOPARDIZE YOUR LIVING SITUATION.

[meistersinger]

 

The only issue I have with Doc is he is a lot like I used to be: very easily hurt and insulted. He needs to learn to tolerate people that hurt him. He might forgive, but he doesn't forget. He still has some of the rigid military discipline in him. He definitely can't stand his brothers and relatives. While his mother was being registered at the hospital, she told him to be quiet, as she, at least what I could see and hear, was trying to follow what the registration clerk was telling her. He got quite insulted, and we left. He ranted and raved the entire way back to the house. I just listened and agreed with him the entire way home. He's acting the same way mom and her brother acted many years ago when her brother refused to help move grandma from where , she was living at the time. I'll have to find a way to let him know that everything shouldn't be taken literally and not to be so judgemental of family. Lord only knows I've fallen into that trap. I also need to find a way to slowly and patiently reduce or eliminate some of his vices, yet keep his sense of humor. He might throw me out of here for that, and that would be his right, but he needs to be more forgiving of people that wrong him.

 

Hi meister... I'm glad you have a place away from the motel, but on reading this I'm concerned. Obviously it would be better if Doc was less sensitive to criticism, but he has a right to be the way he is, just as you have the right to be as you are. If Doc were to tell you not to take things so concretely, would this make you different? I hope you are rethinking this, because Doc has every right to be judgemental. That is the way he sees the world, and that world view stems from the fabric of who he is.. from the person you like! From the person who understands your situation.

 

I'm not sure what you mean by Doc's voices, but we all have an inner parent that speaks to us, and some of us hear voices that seem very real. I do not want to see you dispossessed of a good place to live because you decided to neutralize Doc's inner voices, and you do not have the power to change them in any event. He has to live in his world just as you yourself must live in yours. I hope you understand my caution, and it would appear I'm not alone in my take on this message, as no others have chimed in.

 

Please, do not put yourself at risk. There is that in you that wants to 'fix' Doc. DON'T GO THERE. Trying to change people for their own good reveals the self-destructive pattern instilled in you by your most dysfunctional family. In reality, all that happens is you open yourself up to get very hurt. You may be sorely tempted to voice your opinion, but this does not mean it's the right thing to do.

 

I'm suspicious your desire to 'make everything right' is the way you set yourself up for harm in the past. Please think this through very carefully.. DON'T DO ANYTHING TO JEOPARDIZE YOUR LIVING SITUATION.

 

I meant Doc's vices. I am not attempting to change them. The first shirt was right when he says he'll quit his vices when he wants to quit. I'm taking the same attitude with Doc. He is trying to change some things with me physically, like lose weight, which I could stand to lose another 50 pounds.

 

I'm just going to lay low with his pain. When he's ready, he'll talk, and I'll listen. I thought I was the talkative one. He talks more than me, and I can barely get a word in edgewise. He's ex-Army, and I've seen this type of banter at the Pentagon. I also noticed that I am lining more items up in straight lines as I move them around.

 

I know he's a little wired right now. I'm not sure whether it is the beer, the vodka, or the Gabapetin he takes for his back.

[Barbarannamated]

I'm curious by what you mean by "this type of banter.." ? I miss bantering more than just talking, especially with someone who *gets me*.

[Skyler]

I'm just going to lay low with his pain. When he's ready, he'll talk, and I'll listen. I thought I was the talkative one. He talks more than me, and I can barely get a word in edgewise. He's ex-Army, and I've seen this type of banter at the Pentagon. I also noticed that I am lining more items up in straight lines as I move them around.

 

Very wise approach.. good to hear. LOL.. You had me worried!

[meistersinger]

1349478571[/url]' post='33634']

I'm curious by what you mean by "this type of banter.." ? I miss bantering more than just talking, especially with someone who *gets me*.

 

if you ever dealt with an ex- Army Drill Seargent (or even a ex-Marine Drill Seargent, which is even Worse ;-)), you'll get the idea. I can never tell when he's serious or joking, until he starts busting out laughing. Yes, he has to yell at times, especially since my visual acuity is not as keen as his. He says he has ADHD, although I wonder, as he seems to OCD and maybe asperger's himself.

I did get to talk to my uncle, the Cowboy, on Saturday. He was in the barn mucking the horse stables. He and his wife were concerned that I was staying with him, as he has a not good reputation, in their estimation. I told them, yes, he admits it, and also admits to be a back slidden christian, which surprised both of them, and maybe changed their minds somewhat, since we say grace before meals, etc. I realize that he needs to kick the booze, the cigarettes (legal and otherwise), but, as the first shirt has always said, he has to quit when he wants to quit. He also needs to mend fences with his brothers and other relatives, which I'm not going to touch unless he wants to talk about it.

i did put my application in at a pizza shop in stewartstown, which is about 10 miles west of here, on my way back from the Shrewsbury Wal-Mart, where he sent me to get him sanding discs (since I have a gift card from Walmart for some stuff i bought some time ago and never needed, which i returned in york yesterday after church). Unfortunately, the Shrewsbury WalMart did not have them. there was, a home depot nearby, (which wasn't there last time i was in the area, which was about 8 years ago), where i bought the last pack in the store. I also stopped at an apartment complex in stewartstown affiliated with the presbyterians, that use pretty much the same criteria for rent and utilities with other housing for the elderly. the facility looks like it was the old sewing factory dad serviced when he was still doing home delivery for milk, but that was so long ago I don't remember. I did speak with one of the residents, who was in a hoveround chair, walking her dog, about the qualifications for renting an apartment. Minimum age is 55, which i met that qualification. rent is based on income, which would be social security (for the time being). i would suspect there is a waiting list for these apartments, just like anything else.

the pizza shop asked where i lived, and i told them the Brogue. the manager asked why i would come all the way here for a job, and I said right now, I'll take a job wherever I can find it. he was't exactly convinced, but took my name addresses and phone numbers anyway. If I hear back, fine, if not, oh, well...

I said something to doc, and he said he'll talk to the manager of the pizza shop he frequents as a customer to see if they need a driver. That's all I ask. Also, one of the neighbors were there when I got home, helping doc prep the living room for painting.This guy had his daughter, and another girl, who is the girl's friend with him. He introduced then to me. Both girls are 5th graders, and attend the same elementary school in the same school district. Both girls are involved in the music program in this school district. the neighbor's daughter is learning the cello, and her friend is learning clarinet. I told them I played clarinet, and brought my horn out of my bedroom. I started to put my horn together, and put my neckstrap around my neck. they asked why i had a saxophone neckstrap for a clarinet. i told them i have carpal tunnel in my right wrist, when they asked what that was, i told them i have some pain in my right wrist, and the neckstrap, as well as the adapter and rubber thumb rest device that slips around and over the thumb rest help to relieve the pain. itried to explain to them, some children have problem with the clarinet because the right thumb bears most of the weight of the horn, and the neckstrap helps to take the weight off the thumb. Unfortunately, the neighbor's older son came to the front door, to tell his dad mom was looking for him, since it was suppertime, and since most of the prepwork was finished, they left. if they come back with the daughter's friend. I might have her try my horn, just to see where she's at in the method book. if i think she might worth teaching, i'll send a note with her to her parents offering my services, probably at their home.

i will give one thing for doc, he will not smoke the illegal stuff when there are children around. he makes it very clear to children to listen and obey their parents. As far as I can tell, his heart and soul is in the right place, it's a matter of getting off the booze, the weeds(legal and illegal), and mending the relationships with his brothers and relatives. Yes, he's "crazy", but in a good way, even to the point of defending someone else's life if the need arises. I could be wrong, but somehow, i doubt it.

[areyouthere]

 

i will give one thing for doc, he will not smoke the illegal stuff when there are children around. As far as I can tell, his heart and soul is in the right place, it's a matter of getting off the booze, the weeds(legal and illegal), and mending the relationships with his brothers and relatives. Yes, he's "crazy", but in a good way

 

I have known and know many , many wonderful, deeply loving people who can't bear the hurt in this world and so self medicate. I never pass judgment. I would never want to feel their pain. And quite honestly I would rather "banter" with such a person more than many others who paint on a pretty face. I'm not sure I could/ would want to LIVE with such a person but it sounds as if you have your own space and he his and their is mutual respect and boundaries. That sounds good. You sound more relaxed meistersinger. I hope things continue in this vein for you.

[meistersinger]

I spent the entire day in York yesterday just for 2 appointments. I had an appointment with my therapist yesterday morning at 8:00. I left him know I found a room for 65.00 a week in the Brogue (which that area is in Chanceford township.). I told him about Doc, and our understanding. While he was a bit concerned about the weed, I think he understands that Doc is hurting physically and emotionally. The therapist says I look a bit better than previously. We got to discussing my meds, and why the depression. I repeated that there was not a lot of communication that ever went on in the family. When I get down, I was always told to "get over it", "suck it up", "stop being a damn baby", "you made your own mess, now LIE in it!", "you need to develop a thicker skin", etc. I asked, if I'm told to get over it, HOW DO I GET OVER IT? He gave me a look of, people are still saying that? He responded, people still don't understand what goes on, do they? I told him, I never wanted drugs, just someone to talk to. We got on the topic of WwIi veterans, due to some of the abuse I suffered when I was younger (remember, there are some parents here that still practice, "spare the rod and spoil the child, without mercy behind it.), since that is how my parents were brought up. I told him grandpa was the town drunk, just as his father was. I told my therapist I didn't know how much of that was from WWII, since, grandpa, like a lot of WWII vets, didn't like to talk about their experiences. My therapist asked, was grandpa in the European or Pacific Theater? I said I think the European Theater, since I always heard rumblings about Grandpa being involved in D-Day.

 

After my session, I stopped by the church to check for my mail. Spoke to the parish administrative assistant briefly, then left. Stopped at OVR, talked toy caseworker, and asked if there was any position she knew of that were telecommuting positions. She says those jobs are very few and far between. I gave her a letter I got from Social Security last week that was a carbon copy of what was sent to my congressperson, when I asked him to inquire about my case. She photocopied it for my file. It was then downtime until my appointment with the psychiatrist, which I thought was at 4:00 pm (at least that what I had put on the calendar on both my iPhone and iPad.). Turns out the appointment was for 5:45 PM. I left, and went over to York hospital and sat in their atrium for about 2 hours. I was about to leave at 3:30, when I remembered a member of my choir was in the hospita, with a catheter in him, having fluid drained off his lung, due to cancer. I visited him briefly, and while he looks horrible, is still in pretty good spirits. I left after 15 minutes, and went back to the psychiatrist's office. This guy still hasn't a clue when it comes to medications, although, I think his Roumanian mindset, (as he was trained in Roumania), may have something to do with this also. I know, I'm prejudging, which leads to prejudice. He asked if I am still taking the medications. I answered yes, at a reduced dosage, as I told him earlier that year. He reiterated the same concerns about Doc that my therapist had. I told him the same thing as I told everyone else. He asked if I needed a refill on my medications. I told him I was good. Now, I have to call MHMR to get them to send a liability form, since it expired, even though I reopened my case there last month.

[Altostrata]

i would suspect there is a waiting list for these apartments, just like anything else.

meister, put your name on the waiting list. It may take a while, but there may be a vacancy just when you need it.

 

It sounds like you and Doc can be friends -- IF YOU DON'T JUDGE EACH OTHER. Both of you have idiosyncracies. Try to accept his as he accepts yours. (This can take some adjustment from each of you!)

 

It's very kind of that parishioner to help you out with a little money. Are there any chores you can help her with? Maybe clean her office? It sounds like you might have another friend there.

 

How are you feeling from that Viibryd reduction?

[Skyler]

Hi meister.. no updates from you the last few. Alto got me to thinking.. is your name in for housing, did you finish the application process? Did Bell South coordinate with all available subsidized housing sources or is there more you need to do?

 

Will write more tomorrow.. but wanted to follow up on Alto's post.. as well to say HI!

[meistersinger]

1350272504[/url]' post='34372']

Hi meister.. no updates from you the last few. Alto got me to thinking.. is your name in for housing, did you finish the application process? Did Bell South coordinate with all available subsidized housing sources or is there more you need to do?

 

Will write more tomorrow.. but wanted to follow up on Alto's post.. as well to say HI!

 

I so far have put in 6 applications for housing with the housing authority, since each location requires a seperate application. There is another place in Stewartstown I need to apply at yet that is run by the Presbyterians, which I can never find anyone in the office, and their web page is continually broken.

I did hear from Social Security and was informed in their report that I was approved. I emailed a copy of this letter and report to my caseworker at Vocational Rehab. (T-Mobile Wifi is so sloooow...)

I have not heard back from Bell Socialization Services. They, like everyone else, are probably overwhelmed.

I've been advertising on Craigslist for students. I did get one response, whom I told to call me at Doc's phone number.

I've also printed a couple of manuals for Doc, which he's been pleased with. Now if I could get the hang of driving a riding mower...

[Skyler]

I so far have put in 6 applications for housing with the housing authority, since each location requires a seperate application. There is another place in Stewartstown I need to apply at yet that is run by the Presbyterians, which I can never find anyone in the office, and their web page is continually broken.

That sounds like it would be good provided they are subsidized. How about mailing them a note to the effect you have not been able to connect with them, ask them to send you and application, maybe make an appointment?

 

I did hear from Social Security and was informed in their report that I was approved. I emailed a copy of this letter and report to my caseworker at Vocational Rehab. (T-Mobile Wifi is so sloooow...)

Did they say when you would start to receive a regular check?

 

I have not heard back from Bell Socialization Services. They, like everyone else, are probably overwhelmed.

You mentioned you were going to put in for housing that is available for MI. Were you able to do this? Is this still something you need to follow through on.

 

I've been advertising on Craigslist for students. I did get one response, whom I told to call me at Doc's phone number.

I'm a little concerned about this possibility.. but you sure did good hooking up with Doc. Are you advertising on Craigs list because you are looking for a roommate? How long do you think you may be able to stay at Docs place. As you are probably aware, this would ideally be best if you could manage to do so until you were able to get your own place.. sure would be nice, Huh? He expects his mother to return at some point I take it? After her surgery?

 

 

I've also printed a couple of manuals for Doc, which he's been pleased with. Now if I could get the hang of driving a riding mower...

Compared to everything you have managed to do of late, I would think this would be a cinch... but don't listen to me!

 

What is the status of the student loan.. have you had the hearing/meeting on it as yet? Do you have someone who could go with you to be an advocate.. maybe the assistant minister at your church?

 

It seems like you have had a break from all the stress while staying at Doc's and I'm very glad of this. I wonder how it's been living away from your most distressing family.. Are you developing a different perspective about them.. realizing that they really were very hard on you. There are some really good people in your world, and they see you as a worthwhile person who deserves to have a good life. Now all you need to do is realize they are on to something, that you have a future, and it can be much better than the place you have come from. Peace be with you meister, and thank you for sharing your journey with us, and for letting us get to know you.

[meistersinger]

after reading the approval letter earlier today, since i've been attempting (and failing) to send this letter via email to my caseworker at OVR, I realized that Doc, his mother and i one thing in common: we have back problems. He has 2 steel rods in his back, his mother just had lower back surgery, and I saw in my decision I have degenerative disks disease (which I suspected something was wrong when I slipped and fell down the backyard steps at the old homestead coming home from classes over 30 years ago), which none of my GP's ever told me that I had. It is probably why i always hated being on my feet most of the time, as my back would start giving me problems if i stand in one place for any length of time. Granted, losing more weight would lessen the problem. I'm probably looking at back surgery sometime in my future. I wonder how fast i can get into Assisted living either at Lutheran home at Sprenkle Drive, or at Normandie Ridge (which is affiliated with the United Methodists), or Westminster Place in Stewartstown (which is the Presbyterians). Doc tells me I'm the one responsible for my own medical records. Maybe I am too naieve, as I never saw my complete medical records. Last medical Records I got was from Family and Community Health (which is a private practice), before I had to switch doctors, because FCH did not honor Maryland Blue Cross/Blue Shield when I worked for an Apple Computer contractor. (and people wonder why I, a slightly right of center person, supports universal healthcare.I always thought most attornies were sleazy. Finance is easy sleazier. No wonder Asperger's gives me so many problems. I no longer know (other than this group, and the church choir I sing in, as well as the church pastors, Doc (who I sometimes wonder about) and his mother) who to trust.

[Skyler]

after reading the approval letter earlier today, since i've been attempting (and failing) to send this letter via email to my caseworker at OVR.

Meister, I'm unclear here.. what are you trying to send a letter to your case worker about? Do you need her to take some action regarding the approval letter?

 

II'm probably looking at back surgery sometime in my future. I wonder how fast i can get into Assisted living either at Lutheran home at Sprenkle Drive, or at Normandie Ridge (which is affiliated with the United Methodists), or Westminster Place in Stewartstown (which is the Presbyterians). Doc tells me I'm the one responsible for my own medical records.

Maybe you have enough things to worry about right now? Not sure why you brought these up, but maybe you need to focus your attention on permanent housing? Again.. do you have any idea as to how long you will be at Doc's?

 

No wonder Asperger's gives me so many problems. I no longer know (other than this group, and the church choir I sing in, as well as the church pastors, Doc (who I sometimes wonder about) and his mother) who to trust.

Are you responding to the last paragraph I wrote (btw.. reread it?.. I was editing that part as you responded.) Are you saying this because you found these people to be more concerned with your well being than your family? That is something that will take time for you to work through. You have been through a lot and it will take time to sort through everything and heal.

 

Meister.. I'm concerned about the status of your student loan as they may take a good part of your lump sum reward. Has there been any movement on this.. I really think you may be able to get that dismissed.. and this would be a real help.

[xDebbiejo]

Hi Meistersinger

 

Not been about for a while, read you recent posts, you do sound different now you've left your brothers, a lot more positive even though you have a lot to sort. xxx

[tezza]

Hi MS,

 

I agree with the others, you sound a lot happier. Maybe Doc is actually good for you, in spite of his vices. I'm sure you are good company for him and just maybe, some of your goodheartedness will eventually 'rub off on him'.

 

I'm so glad things have gotten better for you, that gives me some cheer. I was very sad about your living conditions with your brother.

 

He probably needs the weed for pain and IMO, it is not as harmful to the CNS as pmeds and has a very long half-life, which would make it much easier to come off. I'm glad he doesn't use it when children are around. He sounds like a pretty good ole fellar.

 

I'm just happy for you!!!

 

Love and hugs,

 

Tezza

[areyouthere]

Calling Meistersinger!!!

 

How are you ? What is new? Are you playing your clarinet? I miss your very interesting posts! Hopefully no news is GOOD news!

[Skyler]

Calling Meistersinger!!!

 

How are you ? What is new? Are you playing your clarinet? I miss your very interesting posts! Hopefully no news is GOOD news!

 

He's been posting on the toxic family thread!

[Barbarannamated]

 

Calling Meistersinger!!!

How are you ? What is new? Are you playing your clarinet? I miss your very interesting posts! Hopefully no news is GOOD news!

 

He's been posting on the toxic family thread!

 

? The last post I see on that thread is September 20. ?

[Skyler]

? The last post I see on that thread is September 20. ?

 

Good Golly! Right you are... Duh. Sorry folks

 

Paging Meister.. hope you are just too busy to drop in! (That would be my guess)

[meistersinger]

1350751324[/url]' post='34774']

1350750254[/url]' post='34772']

? The last post I see on that thread is September 20. ?

 

Good Golly! Right you are... Duh. Sorry folks

 

Paging Meister.. hope you are just too busy to drop in! (That would be my guess)

 

i've been keeping busy. I haven't had the horn out lately, mostly because I've been between the Towson Town Center and Lancaster Apple stores trying to get my iPhone back up and running, after I updated the operating system on this thing, as well as trying to unlock the phone, so I can use a different carrier other than AT&T, I've been also running some odd jobs around here (doing the dishes, vaccum the floors, helping Doc paint (nostly pointing out light spots on the wall that he didn't see, helping him set up his cell phone and shwing him how to call forward to his cell phone from his mother's land line, printing manuals for his John Deere Riding Mower, and his mother's telephone,etc.) I've also been trying to edit some audio files from some very old U.S. Navy Band recruiting broadcasts from

Doc had some minor issues again with family. His mother, who is currenly in the Rehab Hospital, got a call from one of her other sons, saying another person saw me at the bottom of the hill doing jumping jacks, plus there was no oil to heat the house. While I have lost a good bit of weight, the issue with my knees, plus the degenerative disk disease that I just found out about that was in my medical records doesn't exactly make it easy to that kind of exercise. His mother called me, and I assured her that it wasn't me, plus yes, there was heat in the house, since he just got an oil delivery the same day I moved in. He was also ill on Wednesday, either from dehydration, or from too much beer. I offered to call 911 several times, but he refused. He was feeling a lot better when I got back from Towson.

I did receive my backpay from social security. It was quite substantial, however, PA Dept of Public Welfare didn't take their cut from the backpay, nor did the Federal government for Student Loans. When I contacted Welfare to make the payment, they would not accept payment using a stored value card. They told me they only accept money order or a check. So, I've been pulling the maximum amount I can withdraw each day on this stored value card, and depositing in my savings account. Threr's a fee free ATM at a nearby bank that uses the same network as this stored value card, so I've been using that machine for the funds withdrawal. I have also spent roughly $500.00 of those funds, to pay the records fees and incidental expenses to my attorney, as per the agreement, service done on my car (oil change, transmission change, radiator flush), and a dsl modem/wireless router and netwok cable, now that Verizon says that DSL is available in this area. I might take the modem/router back, if I can get the same package for free from verizon, and keep the network cable.

I did speak to my sister-in-law yesterday, and told her about my back pay from Social Security. While she was happy I got the money, she reminded me that i still owe the First Shirt to get my room fixed. I told her that a few other people are telling me that , since my name does not appear anywhere on the deed, plus I made restitution to the materials i retuned and spent the funds on other things, and he became belligerant because the guy from my church was not available to do the work when HE wanted it done, and HE threatened to find someone else to do the job, then send me the bill. He has yet to send me anything. I wouldn't be surprised if he has done anything to make repairs. while I shouldn't comment, he is as bad as me, as well as the rest of the family, when it comes to starting projects and not finishing them, for whatever reason. Besides, I am considering chapter 7 bankruptcy, once I get notification from the debt collectors on what i owe.