Barbarannamated Posted September 11, 2012 Share Posted September 11, 2012 Happy belated birthday, Meistersinger! You sound like you're doing well and things are moving in a positive direction. There's a strength in your messages. I'm happy for you. And you're making me hungry with mention of Sheetz and chicken corn chowder. Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc). Link to comment
meistersinger Posted September 11, 2012 Author Share Posted September 11, 2012 Happy belated birthday, Meistersinger! You sound like you're doing well and things are moving in a positive direction. There's a strength in your messages. I'm happy for you. And you're making me hungry with mention of Sheetz and chicken corn chowder. I'll take Sheetz for a fast food meal any day over McDonald's Burger King, Turkey Hill Minit Markets (ever since the Frey family, the owners of the Turkey Hill brand, sold the stores to Kroger), or Rutter's Farm Stores (it's bad enough I go to the same church as Tim Rutter and family, who handles Real Estate for the stores. It's even worse my dad worked for his father for 35 years, most of that time for a dairy the Rutter's bought in 1973, and made his life even more miserable, especially when they screwed mom around with his pension. I don't think Tim or his wife and kids realize I used to deliver pizza to their house, let alone belong to the same church. We have 4 services every weekend at church, and there is not much overlap between the services. I didn't even know that one of my therapist's coworkers was a member of my congregation until the organist made mention of it the other Sunday, when he was at Wellspan Meadowlands to inquire about therapy for his daughter, who suffers from chronic fatigue syndrome, and has a tendancy to spend just as much as I do, and saw that member in the office, only to find out he works there as a therapist. As for me, I never met this guy, although I wouldn't be surprised if my therapist mentioned my name to him. As for my attorney, I'll find out what goes on tomorrow at noon. I'g getting ready for bed, so I want to get the salt water must and spray my nose, as my sinuses are bothering me again, as allergy season in Central PA has begun. History: 1995--Prozac--Quit CT by GP 1995--Effexor--Quit per my GP 1996--Amitriphene--Quit CT when changed GP 2005--Citalopram and BusPar. Prescribed when I decompensated in my GP's office. GP referred me to behavior health. Psychiatrist prescibed these drugs. Taken off citalopram in 2011 due to FDA warning. Quit Buspar during transition to viibryd. Viibryd--2011 to present. Had a severe reaction in March 2012. Advised both GP and Psychiatrist I was trying to get off these drugs. Link to comment
meistersinger Posted September 12, 2012 Author Share Posted September 12, 2012 Had an appointment with my therapist this morning. He briefly went over the scores of the ADOS and the Weschler intelligence tests. He has never seen verbal scores on the Weschler as high as mine. Most people score between 70 and 95 on the verbal portion of that test. I scored 117. I also scored high on the ADOS, thereby making it official with the Asperger's diagnosis. When he asked how I felt, I said relieved, then very low. He came back, with the garbage I was going through with my brother, no wonder I was down. He asked if I was still taking melatonin, which I responded no, since it kept me up for almost a week. Even slicing a 3mg pill and taking .75 mg would keepe awake. He responded man you are sensitive. He was going to send an email to my psychiatrist, letting him know of my sensitivities and diagnostic results. As for my attorney's appointment, it looks like I drew a real tough nut for an judge. The first question out of attorneys mouth is how did I get from working at the pentagon to being thrown out on the street. Why haven't I been able to hold a job. He threw a few hypotheticals at me, and told me to answer stress, which has always been my issue, as he told me, this judge is not my friend, no matter what he says. He asked if I planned to drive to Harrisburg. At 4.00/gallon, I plan to take the bus. He responds good, because this judge will nail you to the cross if you drive (as if Harrisburg is as easy to drive than Washington, DC, which it is not. If this doesn't work, there's always OVR, since I have a caseworker there. He was surprised, even though he has my records. We shall find out on Friday. (and people around here wonder why central pa is considered the ******* Capitol of the universe... History: 1995--Prozac--Quit CT by GP 1995--Effexor--Quit per my GP 1996--Amitriphene--Quit CT when changed GP 2005--Citalopram and BusPar. Prescribed when I decompensated in my GP's office. GP referred me to behavior health. Psychiatrist prescibed these drugs. Taken off citalopram in 2011 due to FDA warning. Quit Buspar during transition to viibryd. Viibryd--2011 to present. Had a severe reaction in March 2012. Advised both GP and Psychiatrist I was trying to get off these drugs. Link to comment
meistersinger Posted September 13, 2012 Author Share Posted September 13, 2012 i might as well contact my brothers, have them call the cops, meet me at the motel where i am currently residing, and have my arse thrown in jail. It does not matter I've been diagnosed with autism and depression. My youngest brother's wife agrees with the rest of the family: I don't deserve Social Security Disability, as she and my brothers are anti-tax ultra-religious conservatives, and I am a lying, cheating no good perpetrator of insurance fraud. She will back up the next to the youngest, who bought mom's house. Just goes to prove there is no forgiveness in my family, when it comes to money. I might as well sabotage myself on Friday, and get ready to spend the rest of miserable pathetic life in jail. Please, no replies. It goes to further reinforce what I have always been told and believe, I'm a wothless sack of dung who doesn't deserve anything, let alone live. Further, the next youngest brother is right: I am responsible for mom's death by losing my job. I am truely a fat ugly sack of dung that does not deserve to live. I thought it was the Viibryd making me believe that. I was wrong. And before anyone says otherwise, I don't deserve any kind of social services. I've truely given up. You won't be hearing from me anymore. History: 1995--Prozac--Quit CT by GP 1995--Effexor--Quit per my GP 1996--Amitriphene--Quit CT when changed GP 2005--Citalopram and BusPar. Prescribed when I decompensated in my GP's office. GP referred me to behavior health. Psychiatrist prescibed these drugs. Taken off citalopram in 2011 due to FDA warning. Quit Buspar during transition to viibryd. Viibryd--2011 to present. Had a severe reaction in March 2012. Advised both GP and Psychiatrist I was trying to get off these drugs. Link to comment
Administrator Karma Posted September 13, 2012 Administrator Share Posted September 13, 2012 Meistersinger I don't know what happened to send you into such a tailspin, but you have to STOP now. I'm speaking as Karma, your friend ... not as a staff moderator ... You are seriously misunderstood and your family is very dysfunctional. You deserve to live and have many gifts to offer. You are exactly the kind of person who deserves SSDI. Frankly, I don't think the cops would bother with someone who got insurance money for a hole in the roof that caused damage and then for whatever reasons didn't use the money to repair the damage. The amount of money involved would only go to a small claims court any way so just let all of that go. Your brothers are just greedy and they are pushing your buttons. Some time has passed now, can your friend at church fix the damage, now? I don't care if your brother doesn't want him to do it, if he is still holding you responsible for it, then you have the right to get it resolved however you can find a way to do it. Your brothers are NOT right ... they are sad people who seem incapable of demonstrating empathy or love. The really sad part is that their vicious behavior toward you will come back to them. Please do not sabotage yourself on Friday. Show up as yourself and do the best you can do. I pray for you every day ... you deserve a safe shelter where you can heal in peace and begin to use your gifts. Love and light, Karma 2007 @ 375 mg Effexor - 11/29/2011 - 43.75 mg Effexor (regular) & .625 mg Xanax 200 mg Gabapentin 2/27/21 - 194.5 mg, 5/28/21 - 183 mg, 8/2/21 - 170 mg, 11/28/21 - 150 mg, 4/19/22 - 122 mg; 8//7/22 - 100 mg; 12/17 - 75mg; 8/17 - 45 mg; 10/16 40 mg Xanax taper: 3/11/12 - 0.9375 mg, 3/25/12 - 0.875 mg, 4/6/12 - 0.8125 mg, 4/18/12 - 0.75 ; 10/16 40mg; 1/16 0.6875 mg; at some point 0.625 mg Effexor taper: 1/29/12 - 40.625 mg, 4/29/12 - 39.875 mg, 5/11/12 - Switched to liquid Effexor, 5/25/12 - 38 mg, 7/6/12 - 35 mg, 8/17/12 - 32 mg, 9/14/12 - 30 mg, 10/19/12 - 28 mg, 11/9/12 - 26 mg, 11/30/12 - 24 mg, 01/14/13 - 22 mg. 02/25/13 - 20.8 mg, 03/18/13 - 19.2 mg, 4/15/13 - 17.6 mg, 8/10/13 - 16.4 mg, 9/7/13 - 15.2 mg, 10/19/13 - 14 mg, 1/15/14 - 13.2 mg, 3/1/2014 - 12.6 mg, 5/4/14 - 12 mg, 8/1/14 - 11.4 mg, 8/29/14 - 10.8 mg; 10/14/14 - 10.2 mg; 12/15/14 - 10 mg, 1/11/15 - 9.5 mg, 2/8/15 - 9 mg, 3/21/15 - 8.5 mg, 5/1/15 - 8 mg, 6/9/15 - 7.5 mg, 7/8/15 - 7 mg, 8/22/15 - 6.5 mg, 10/4/15 - 6 mg; 1/1/16 - 5.6 mg; 2/6/16 - 5.2 mg; 4/9 - 4.8 mg; 7/7 4.5 mg; 10/7 4.25 mg; 11/4 4.0 mg; 11/25 3.8 mg; 4/24 3.6 mg; 5/27 3.4 mg; 7/8 3.2 mg ... 10/18 2.8 mg; 1/18 2.6 mg; 4/7 2.4 mg; 5/26 2.15mg; 8/18 1.85 mg; 10/7 1.7 mg; 12/1 1.45 mg; 3/2 1.2 mg; 5/4 0.90 mg; 6/1 0.80 mg; 6/22 0.65 mg; 08/03 0.50 mg, 08/10 0.45 mg, 10/05 0.325 mg, 11/23 0.2 mg, 12/14 0.15 mg, 12/21 0.125 mg, 02/28 0.03125 mg, 2/15 0.015625 mg, 2/29/20 0.00 mg - OFF Effexor I am not a medical professional - this is not medical advice. My suggestions are based on personal experience, reading, observation and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers Link to comment
meistersinger Posted September 13, 2012 Author Share Posted September 13, 2012 My apologies for the blowup yesterday. I just get sick and tired of being told I 'm part of the problem whether my arse gets thrown in jail, I end up on social security or in an institution. It's not MY fault Social Security came after my youngest brother and sister-in-law because their son that was collecting supplemental security income no longer qualified because my brother made too much money and they are forced to pay back several thousand dollars plus interest because he inadvertently made too much money. I told then to talk to an attorney, but they want as little to do with the government as possible. By extension, they don't want anyone else getting services because they were denied and have to pay back money. This family has been falling apart long before mom or dad died. My family has always been the black sheep of both sides of the family. I just get tired of the stigma, real or imagined, especially when stress and anxiety have always given me problems. When I worked call centers, YOU put up with anywhere between 50-75 calls a day with customers that generally think the agent is a blithering idiot, and does their best to undermine the same agent. Then you'd understand why I burned out. Better yet, work as a government contractor. I guarantee you you will be treated as a non-human. Any wonder I would fall asleep in the bathroom, especially while nursing a migraine? And you wonder who I'm claiming disability? Then, you may ask, how is pizza delivery stressful? How about being on call 24/7/365, even on your scheduled day off? How about catching hell from your boss for scheduling appointments on your day off? I gave up any kind of social life because of this fact. How about being treated like an idiot just for being a responsible employee? How about having to hold your tongue with a customer who is completely out of control, because telling a customer what you thought of them would get you fired? How about being fired for going the wrong way on a one way street? Any wonder I suffer so much stress, anxiety and depression? History: 1995--Prozac--Quit CT by GP 1995--Effexor--Quit per my GP 1996--Amitriphene--Quit CT when changed GP 2005--Citalopram and BusPar. Prescribed when I decompensated in my GP's office. GP referred me to behavior health. Psychiatrist prescibed these drugs. Taken off citalopram in 2011 due to FDA warning. Quit Buspar during transition to viibryd. Viibryd--2011 to present. Had a severe reaction in March 2012. Advised both GP and Psychiatrist I was trying to get off these drugs. Link to comment
Administrator Karma Posted September 14, 2012 Administrator Share Posted September 14, 2012 So glad you are ok, Meistersinger ... I was really concerned about yesterday's post. I understand how difficult it is to try and work in stressful jobs ... no way I could work in a call center for the very reasons that you cite. I think that as you get closer to your hearing that the stress is building for you even if you don't recognize it as such and that is putting you in a worse state of mind. I'm sending you positive energy for tomorrow's hearing ... I will of course, pray for you, as I do each day, but will send a little extra positive energy your way that you get a beneficial decision. Love and light Karma 2007 @ 375 mg Effexor - 11/29/2011 - 43.75 mg Effexor (regular) & .625 mg Xanax 200 mg Gabapentin 2/27/21 - 194.5 mg, 5/28/21 - 183 mg, 8/2/21 - 170 mg, 11/28/21 - 150 mg, 4/19/22 - 122 mg; 8//7/22 - 100 mg; 12/17 - 75mg; 8/17 - 45 mg; 10/16 40 mg Xanax taper: 3/11/12 - 0.9375 mg, 3/25/12 - 0.875 mg, 4/6/12 - 0.8125 mg, 4/18/12 - 0.75 ; 10/16 40mg; 1/16 0.6875 mg; at some point 0.625 mg Effexor taper: 1/29/12 - 40.625 mg, 4/29/12 - 39.875 mg, 5/11/12 - Switched to liquid Effexor, 5/25/12 - 38 mg, 7/6/12 - 35 mg, 8/17/12 - 32 mg, 9/14/12 - 30 mg, 10/19/12 - 28 mg, 11/9/12 - 26 mg, 11/30/12 - 24 mg, 01/14/13 - 22 mg. 02/25/13 - 20.8 mg, 03/18/13 - 19.2 mg, 4/15/13 - 17.6 mg, 8/10/13 - 16.4 mg, 9/7/13 - 15.2 mg, 10/19/13 - 14 mg, 1/15/14 - 13.2 mg, 3/1/2014 - 12.6 mg, 5/4/14 - 12 mg, 8/1/14 - 11.4 mg, 8/29/14 - 10.8 mg; 10/14/14 - 10.2 mg; 12/15/14 - 10 mg, 1/11/15 - 9.5 mg, 2/8/15 - 9 mg, 3/21/15 - 8.5 mg, 5/1/15 - 8 mg, 6/9/15 - 7.5 mg, 7/8/15 - 7 mg, 8/22/15 - 6.5 mg, 10/4/15 - 6 mg; 1/1/16 - 5.6 mg; 2/6/16 - 5.2 mg; 4/9 - 4.8 mg; 7/7 4.5 mg; 10/7 4.25 mg; 11/4 4.0 mg; 11/25 3.8 mg; 4/24 3.6 mg; 5/27 3.4 mg; 7/8 3.2 mg ... 10/18 2.8 mg; 1/18 2.6 mg; 4/7 2.4 mg; 5/26 2.15mg; 8/18 1.85 mg; 10/7 1.7 mg; 12/1 1.45 mg; 3/2 1.2 mg; 5/4 0.90 mg; 6/1 0.80 mg; 6/22 0.65 mg; 08/03 0.50 mg, 08/10 0.45 mg, 10/05 0.325 mg, 11/23 0.2 mg, 12/14 0.15 mg, 12/21 0.125 mg, 02/28 0.03125 mg, 2/15 0.015625 mg, 2/29/20 0.00 mg - OFF Effexor I am not a medical professional - this is not medical advice. My suggestions are based on personal experience, reading, observation and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers Link to comment
meistersinger Posted September 14, 2012 Author Share Posted September 14, 2012 So glad you are ok, Meistersinger ... I was really concerned about yesterday's post. I understand how difficult it is to try and work in stressful jobs ... no way I could work in a call center for the very reasons that you cite. I think that as you get closer to your hearing that the stress is building for you even if you don't recognize it as such and that is putting you in a worse state of mind. I'm sending you positive energy for tomorrow's hearing ... I will of course, pray for you, as I do each day, but will send a little extra positive energy your way that you get a beneficial decision. Love and light Karma Thanks for the thoughts and prayers. I'm sitting in front of KMart, waiting for the RabbitTransit Express to Harrisburg. I'm currently shaking on the insides, mostly from getting very little sleep, even though I went to bed last night around 8:00 PM. Probably the reason I feel this way is because 1) I forgot to take my Viibryd and 2) My blood sugars were at 225 this morning, since I also forgot to take my insulin last night. The hearing is not until 11:10, but I was told to be there by 10:30 by my attorney. I'll be there by 6:30am, no thanks to the bus schedules for rabbittransit. The only other transportation game in town is Greyhound, and they only stop 4 times a day, coming from Baltimore/Washington. Fortunately, rabbittransit stops at 2nd and Market Sts in Harrisburg, right in front of the building my hearing takes place. My attorney tells me this judge is a hard nut to crack, so, keep it short and sweet. If he asks why I consider myself disabled, I am to answer I can not handle the stress of the position, regardless of the job. If he asks how many days per month I miss, it is from 2 to 6 days per month. History: 1995--Prozac--Quit CT by GP 1995--Effexor--Quit per my GP 1996--Amitriphene--Quit CT when changed GP 2005--Citalopram and BusPar. Prescribed when I decompensated in my GP's office. GP referred me to behavior health. Psychiatrist prescibed these drugs. Taken off citalopram in 2011 due to FDA warning. Quit Buspar during transition to viibryd. Viibryd--2011 to present. Had a severe reaction in March 2012. Advised both GP and Psychiatrist I was trying to get off these drugs. Link to comment
Barbarannamated Posted September 14, 2012 Share Posted September 14, 2012 Hey Meistersinger. I hope things went ok. I realize you probably wont know for awhile, but wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you. Please keep in touch, ok? B Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc). Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Skyler Posted September 14, 2012 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted September 14, 2012 Hi meister.. I know you have been waiting for today's hearing for way too long. I'm wishing for the very best and looking for an update, even though you probably don't know the results of the hearing as yet. ~Schuyler As always, LISTEN TO YOUR BODY! A proud supporter of the 10% (or slower) rule. Requip - 3/16 ZERO Total time on 25 years. Lyrica: 8/15 ZERO Total time on 7 or 8 yrs.BENZO FREE 10/13 (started tapering 7/10) Total time on 25 years. Read my intro thread here, and check the about me section. "No matter how cynical you get, it's almost impossible to keep up." Lily Tomlin Link to comment
meistersinger Posted September 14, 2012 Author Share Posted September 14, 2012 1347648512[/url]' post='32097'] Hi meister.. I know you have been waiting for today's hearing for way too long. I'm wishing for the very best and looking for an update, even though you probably don't know the results of the hearing as yet. ~Schuyler I just back from harrisburg an hour ago. I was awarded benefits. I just don't know how much. The only words I spoke were I Do and my name after taking the oath, and Thak you, your honor, after the proceedings were over. My attorney did all the talking, even though everyone got a chuckle in my gp's report about lack of sleep due to mother and dogs snoring ;-) (Yes Mom could snore louder than Dad ever could, with the dogs (at the time, a basset hound and a bloodhound, for good measure and harmony) Now to find a place to live... I might have to inquire some of the older members at the church, since most of them live at Sprenkle Drive (Part of the Lutheran Home, some of those cottages are pretty nice. I haven't seen the apartments on Folkemer Dr (also part of the same campus), so I can't make a comment on them. I'm als o looking at an efficiency on a horse farm in East Berlin, Adams county (East Berlin is about 12 miles west of Gettysburg. The church organist lives on the west side of town, in a farmhouse that has been his family for over 250 years, so I could hitch a ride with him to rehearsals and services.) I know york housing authority has a long waiting list, I'm not sure about lancaster, dauphin (although i refuse to live in Harrisburg), lebanon, cumberland, franklin, and perry counties. Last I looked at Indiana county, there was some space, but do I REALLY want to move back to Indiana, PA (No smart remarks, Barb! I got enough of them from Ed Fry, IUP's longtime track coach when he was my piano teacher. Even retired, he can still give the snappy comebacks when he sees me.)? While I can earn a maximum of $1000 per month in wages, there is no limit on cash only services (like i would charge for teaching privately. The only other fees i would owe my attorney, other than the 25% Social Security pays directly to him, is the total of $300.00 in records fees needed to prove my case, costs that are also limited by federal rules to $26.00 per record. Now let the healing begin... History: 1995--Prozac--Quit CT by GP 1995--Effexor--Quit per my GP 1996--Amitriphene--Quit CT when changed GP 2005--Citalopram and BusPar. Prescribed when I decompensated in my GP's office. GP referred me to behavior health. Psychiatrist prescibed these drugs. Taken off citalopram in 2011 due to FDA warning. Quit Buspar during transition to viibryd. Viibryd--2011 to present. Had a severe reaction in March 2012. Advised both GP and Psychiatrist I was trying to get off these drugs. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Skyler Posted September 14, 2012 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted September 14, 2012 Meister.. what GREAT NEWS! I am absolutely delighted for you. Let the healing begin is right. Wonderful. Terrific. And the housing options you described, a couple of those sound really good. I hope one of them will work out. Do you know how long it will be before you actually get your first benefit check? And it sounds like you may get a small lump sum retroactively. Wow... I am smiling ear to ear on your behalf! LOL.. time for a prayer of thanksgiving it would seem.. As always, LISTEN TO YOUR BODY! A proud supporter of the 10% (or slower) rule. Requip - 3/16 ZERO Total time on 25 years. Lyrica: 8/15 ZERO Total time on 7 or 8 yrs.BENZO FREE 10/13 (started tapering 7/10) Total time on 25 years. Read my intro thread here, and check the about me section. "No matter how cynical you get, it's almost impossible to keep up." Lily Tomlin Link to comment
Barbarannamated Posted September 14, 2012 Share Posted September 14, 2012 YAY!!! YIPPEE!!! WoooooHooooo!!! DOING THE HAPPY DANCE!! HOKEY POKEY!! ALLEY CAT!! BUNNY HOP!! ALL AT THE SAME TIME!!! (I'm just that UNcoordinated!) OMG!! I am Sooooo excited for you!! (And I dont get excited about too much these days). I honestly didn't expect that you would have an answer today. Most people I know have to appeal at least once, if not more. This is SSDI, correct? Very interesting that you can earn $1000 in wages and unlimited in cash services..? I really need to learn more about that because Ive been told that ANY income would immediately disqualify me from my Disability Benefits thru my past employer. I was never told that wages differ from cash earnngs..? Please do tell me more! I dont know Indiana too well although it was part of a sales territory I had years ago. Just steer clear of that Flood City! I think I have to go out and have dinner to celebrate for you!! You deserve all good things!! EDIT: I'm REALLY HAPPY for you, just in case it didn't come across. It's very hard for me to share peoples' good times recently, but I am genuinely EXCITED for you! Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc). Link to comment
Barbarannamated Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 That info about earnings is so exciting, I had to look it up! This is something I've struggled with but will have to see if my program differentiates between wages earned and "Unearned Income" that is, as you mentioned, unlimited. http://www.disabilitysecrets.com/resources/social-security-disability/ssdi/income-limits-ssdi-benefits Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc). Link to comment
Administrator Karma Posted September 15, 2012 Administrator Share Posted September 15, 2012 Good news . It must be a relief to have been awarded benefits with the opportunity to earn a little extra through teaching as you are able. Now to find a nice, safe place where you can live in peace and heal. You did it. I'm so happy for you. Love and light, Karma 2007 @ 375 mg Effexor - 11/29/2011 - 43.75 mg Effexor (regular) & .625 mg Xanax 200 mg Gabapentin 2/27/21 - 194.5 mg, 5/28/21 - 183 mg, 8/2/21 - 170 mg, 11/28/21 - 150 mg, 4/19/22 - 122 mg; 8//7/22 - 100 mg; 12/17 - 75mg; 8/17 - 45 mg; 10/16 40 mg Xanax taper: 3/11/12 - 0.9375 mg, 3/25/12 - 0.875 mg, 4/6/12 - 0.8125 mg, 4/18/12 - 0.75 ; 10/16 40mg; 1/16 0.6875 mg; at some point 0.625 mg Effexor taper: 1/29/12 - 40.625 mg, 4/29/12 - 39.875 mg, 5/11/12 - Switched to liquid Effexor, 5/25/12 - 38 mg, 7/6/12 - 35 mg, 8/17/12 - 32 mg, 9/14/12 - 30 mg, 10/19/12 - 28 mg, 11/9/12 - 26 mg, 11/30/12 - 24 mg, 01/14/13 - 22 mg. 02/25/13 - 20.8 mg, 03/18/13 - 19.2 mg, 4/15/13 - 17.6 mg, 8/10/13 - 16.4 mg, 9/7/13 - 15.2 mg, 10/19/13 - 14 mg, 1/15/14 - 13.2 mg, 3/1/2014 - 12.6 mg, 5/4/14 - 12 mg, 8/1/14 - 11.4 mg, 8/29/14 - 10.8 mg; 10/14/14 - 10.2 mg; 12/15/14 - 10 mg, 1/11/15 - 9.5 mg, 2/8/15 - 9 mg, 3/21/15 - 8.5 mg, 5/1/15 - 8 mg, 6/9/15 - 7.5 mg, 7/8/15 - 7 mg, 8/22/15 - 6.5 mg, 10/4/15 - 6 mg; 1/1/16 - 5.6 mg; 2/6/16 - 5.2 mg; 4/9 - 4.8 mg; 7/7 4.5 mg; 10/7 4.25 mg; 11/4 4.0 mg; 11/25 3.8 mg; 4/24 3.6 mg; 5/27 3.4 mg; 7/8 3.2 mg ... 10/18 2.8 mg; 1/18 2.6 mg; 4/7 2.4 mg; 5/26 2.15mg; 8/18 1.85 mg; 10/7 1.7 mg; 12/1 1.45 mg; 3/2 1.2 mg; 5/4 0.90 mg; 6/1 0.80 mg; 6/22 0.65 mg; 08/03 0.50 mg, 08/10 0.45 mg, 10/05 0.325 mg, 11/23 0.2 mg, 12/14 0.15 mg, 12/21 0.125 mg, 02/28 0.03125 mg, 2/15 0.015625 mg, 2/29/20 0.00 mg - OFF Effexor I am not a medical professional - this is not medical advice. My suggestions are based on personal experience, reading, observation and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers Link to comment
xDebbiejo Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 Hi Meistersinger At last!! So happy for you . You so deserve it Love Debbie x 17 years on seroxat/paxil CT off - thought I was dying luckily found this site. 21st May 2012 12mg seroxat Stable - Tapered Diazepam slowish.1st June 10mg Seroxat 2nd June 1mg Diazepam.15th June 9mg seroxat 2nd July Changed to 2.5[ml liquid diazepam]2mg=5ml. 16th July 2ml Liquid Diazepam 2nd August 8mg/4ml Seroxat/Paxil 2nd August 1.5 ml Diazepam 18th Aug 2012 1ml Diazepam 1st - 5th Sept 0.5 Diazepam Free! 13th Oct 7mg/3.5ml seroxat - 26 Jan 2013 3.25ml/6.5mg-Mar 3ml-April 2.7ml-May 2.5ml 01/07/14 very slow taper over the last year now on 0.5 ml of liquid Seroxat ......November 14 Seroat Free!!!!!!! Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Jemima Posted September 15, 2012 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted September 15, 2012 I'm very pleased to hear that things have worked out for you. Your story was quite the cliff-hanger there for a while! Ditto Schuyler on that prayer of thanksgiving! Psychotropic drug history: Pristiq 50 mg. (mid-September 2010 through February 2011), Remeron (mid-September 2010 through January 2011), Lexapro 10 mg. (mid-February 2011 through mid-December 2011), Lorazepam (Ativan) 1 mg. as needed mid-September 2010 through early March 2012"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." -Hanlon's RazorIntroduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1588-introducing-jemima/ Success Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6263-success-jemima-survives-lexapro-and-dr-dickhead-too/Please note that I am not a medical professional and my advice is based on personal experience, reading, and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus areyouthere Posted September 16, 2012 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted September 16, 2012 Meistersinger , WOO HOO!!! That's it! WOO HOO!!! Fall 1995 xanax, zoloft. switched to Serzone 1996- spring 2003serzone/ xanax/ lightbox. b]Fall 2003- Fall 2004? Lexapro 10 mg. Light box /4 mg. xanax.[/b] 2004 - Fall of 2009 10 mg Lex, 150 mg Wellbutrin XL % 4 mg xanax November 2009- Sept. 2011 10 mg lex., 300 Well. XL, 4 mg Xanax [/b Sept.2012- July 2012 20 mg Lex 300 Well. XL, 4 mg Xanax My mantra " go slow & with the flow " 3/2/13.. Began equal dosing 5 Xs /day xanax, while simultaneously incorporating a 2.5 % drop ( from 3.5 mg/day to 3.4 mg/day) 4/6/13 dropped from 300 mg. Wellbutrin XL to 150 mg. Difficult but DONE! Down to 3.3 mg xanax/ day / 6/10/13 3 mg xanax/day; 7/15/2013 2.88mg xanax/day. 10/ 1/2013...... 2.5 mg xanax… ( switched to tablets again) WOO HOO!!!!!! Holding here… cont. with Lexapro. 1/ 2/2014.. tapered to 18mg ( by weight) of a 26 mg ( by weight) pill of 20 mg tab. lexapro. goal is 13mg (by weight OR 10 mg by ingredient content) and STOPPED. Feeling very down with unbalanced, unpredictable WD symptoms. 1/2/2014- ??? Taking a brain-healing break from tapering anything after actively tapering something for 1.5 years. So… daily doses as of 2/2/2014: 18 mg by weight Lex, 150 mg Well. XL, 2.5 mg xanax, down from 26 mg by weight Lex., 300 mg well. XL, 4 mg xanax in August, 2012. I'll take it. 5/8/14 started equivalent dose liquid./ tabs. 5/13/14 1.5 % cut. Link to comment
meistersinger Posted September 16, 2012 Author Share Posted September 16, 2012 i want to thank everyone for their thoughts and prayers here and in my congregation for their thoughts and prayers. i heard a sermon many years ago, when I lived in the extreme northwest suburbs of Chicago, by the senior pastor of the church where i was a member, which essentially made the point, God answers prayer, but in a manner you would not expect. i am not a very demonstartive person normally. Most people, on first impression, consider me to be a fat idiot. (I even consider myself to be a fat idiot some of the time, which is probably one reason I got put on antidepressants in the first place.) I guess I may be too much like St. Paul, who was made perfect in weakness, and gave up his boasting to be made perfect in Christ. Does that make me as great as St. Paul? Absolutely Not! If anything, I am probably the worst of the worst, despite my pitiful talents. While my brothers still despise me, I've had to learn "Judge not, lest ye be judged." Maybe they will come around to the fact I have problems, maybe not. I'm open to reconciliation, if they are willing, if not, I'm still open to it whenever they are ready, if they will ever be ready. There was a form of pop psychology that was going around in the 1970's that was called I'm OK, you're OK.I always was told I was not OK, and will never Be OK, while everyone else was OK. I am now of the opinion that the only persons that are greater than me are the Holy Trinity, and they still love me for who I am. Ditto for everyone else, despite who or what they believe. The hardest thing i do is to keep my opinions about a person to myself, since Indon't know what their problems are, nor do I pretend to know what they are thinking. Oh, to be Will Rogers, who "never met a person he didn't like." I just wish there were more persons like him, as well as Studs Terkel. History: 1995--Prozac--Quit CT by GP 1995--Effexor--Quit per my GP 1996--Amitriphene--Quit CT when changed GP 2005--Citalopram and BusPar. Prescribed when I decompensated in my GP's office. GP referred me to behavior health. Psychiatrist prescibed these drugs. Taken off citalopram in 2011 due to FDA warning. Quit Buspar during transition to viibryd. Viibryd--2011 to present. Had a severe reaction in March 2012. Advised both GP and Psychiatrist I was trying to get off these drugs. Link to comment
Brandy Posted September 16, 2012 Share Posted September 16, 2012 meister, I'm so VERY happy for you. I too am amazed you got a decision so fast, and delighted that you got the benefits you so clearly are entitled to and can now move on in good ways in your life. (I know how toxic family can be!) I'm just so very, very glad for you! YAY!!! YIPPEE!!! WoooooHooooo!!! DOING THE HAPPY DANCE!! HOKEY POKEY!! ALLEY CAT!! BUNNY HOP!! ALL AT THE SAME TIME!!! (I'm just that UNcoordinated!) Bar, please post video! LOL! I was "TryingToGetWell" (aka TTGW) on paxilprogress. I also was one of the original members here on Surviving Antidepressants I had horrific and protracted withdrawal from paxil, but now am back to enjoying life with enthusiasm to the max, some residual physical symptoms continued but largely improve. The horror, severe derealization, anhedonia, akathisia, and so much more, are long over. My signature is a temporary scribble from year 2013. I'll rewrite it when I can. If you want to read it, click on http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/209-brandy-anyone/?p=110343 Link to comment
Brandy Posted September 16, 2012 Share Posted September 16, 2012 Very interesting that you can earn $1000 in wages and unlimited in cash services..? I really need to learn more about that because Ive been told that ANY income would immediately disqualify me from my Disability Benefits thru my past employer. I was never told that wages differ from cash earnngs..? Please do tell me more! I just wanted to point out that disability like long-term disability from an employer can have very different criteria than SSDI or other Social Security programs. (That is the case with my disability insurance from my former employment.) And depending on the type of program one receives benefits from, cash received as interest or dividends can differ from earned income from working in terms of continued eligibility. (As if one can earn much interest on savings nowadays lol.) But every program, even within the same insurance company or even within Social Security, has different criteria and rules. I was "TryingToGetWell" (aka TTGW) on paxilprogress. I also was one of the original members here on Surviving Antidepressants I had horrific and protracted withdrawal from paxil, but now am back to enjoying life with enthusiasm to the max, some residual physical symptoms continued but largely improve. The horror, severe derealization, anhedonia, akathisia, and so much more, are long over. My signature is a temporary scribble from year 2013. I'll rewrite it when I can. If you want to read it, click on http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/209-brandy-anyone/?p=110343 Link to comment
Barbarannamated Posted September 16, 2012 Share Posted September 16, 2012 You are better than ok, Meistersinger! It's wonderful to witness you flourish as you get out from under the influence of your siblings. You sound MUCH stronger and hopeful. Are you surprised by how you are feeling in just a few short weeks away from your toxic siblings? I'm very happy for you. Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc). Link to comment
meistersinger Posted September 16, 2012 Author Share Posted September 16, 2012 1347805202[/url]' post='32250'] You are better than ok, Meistersinger! It's wonderful to witness you flourish as you get out from under the influence of your siblings. You sound MUCH stronger and hopeful. Are you surprised by how you are feeling in just a few short weeks away from your toxic siblings? I'm very happy for you. i may not look like it, but yes, I feel better being away from the first shirt. He's going to be in for a rude surprise, since the cable tv and internet bill is in my name. According to Comcast, I still own the account, even though he pays the bill. the rep states i'm still responsible for the bill, regardless who pays it. i am going to cancel the account, whether he likes it or not. I am starting to look at a few rooms, and if i can find one cheap enough, maybe a 1 bedroom efficiency apartment, preferably outside the city limits. One of the members of the congregation, who is also on church council, is a realtor, so he might know where I can find a place for between 300 and 400 per month, all utilities except cable and/or telephone and/or satellite TV paid. There is a room at a horse farm at the southern end of the county. if it is who i think it is, it is probably my uncle, the cowboy. He always wanted to be a cowboy, ever since he was a child. When Caterpillar decided to close the York plant, he retired, sold his house, took his retirement and bought a small farm to raise, i think, apaloosas. At least he got to do what he always wanted to do. if i can ever get my right hand and wrist to straighten out, i can get back to practicing the clarinet. History: 1995--Prozac--Quit CT by GP 1995--Effexor--Quit per my GP 1996--Amitriphene--Quit CT when changed GP 2005--Citalopram and BusPar. Prescribed when I decompensated in my GP's office. GP referred me to behavior health. Psychiatrist prescibed these drugs. Taken off citalopram in 2011 due to FDA warning. Quit Buspar during transition to viibryd. Viibryd--2011 to present. Had a severe reaction in March 2012. Advised both GP and Psychiatrist I was trying to get off these drugs. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus tezza Posted September 16, 2012 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted September 16, 2012 Hi MS, It's great that things have finally gotten better for you! Your good news makes me feel better, I'm very happy for you. Hugs and love, Tezza http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1644-tezza-risperdal-withdrawal/ Seroquel and Mirtazipine Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus areyouthere Posted September 16, 2012 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted September 16, 2012 There is a room at a horse farm at the southern end of the county. if it is who i think it is, it is probably my uncle, the cowboy. Hopefully Cowboy does not share too many characteristics of the first shirt???? Fall 1995 xanax, zoloft. switched to Serzone 1996- spring 2003serzone/ xanax/ lightbox. b]Fall 2003- Fall 2004? Lexapro 10 mg. Light box /4 mg. xanax.[/b] 2004 - Fall of 2009 10 mg Lex, 150 mg Wellbutrin XL % 4 mg xanax November 2009- Sept. 2011 10 mg lex., 300 Well. XL, 4 mg Xanax [/b Sept.2012- July 2012 20 mg Lex 300 Well. XL, 4 mg Xanax My mantra " go slow & with the flow " 3/2/13.. Began equal dosing 5 Xs /day xanax, while simultaneously incorporating a 2.5 % drop ( from 3.5 mg/day to 3.4 mg/day) 4/6/13 dropped from 300 mg. Wellbutrin XL to 150 mg. Difficult but DONE! Down to 3.3 mg xanax/ day / 6/10/13 3 mg xanax/day; 7/15/2013 2.88mg xanax/day. 10/ 1/2013...... 2.5 mg xanax… ( switched to tablets again) WOO HOO!!!!!! Holding here… cont. with Lexapro. 1/ 2/2014.. tapered to 18mg ( by weight) of a 26 mg ( by weight) pill of 20 mg tab. lexapro. goal is 13mg (by weight OR 10 mg by ingredient content) and STOPPED. Feeling very down with unbalanced, unpredictable WD symptoms. 1/2/2014- ??? Taking a brain-healing break from tapering anything after actively tapering something for 1.5 years. So… daily doses as of 2/2/2014: 18 mg by weight Lex, 150 mg Well. XL, 2.5 mg xanax, down from 26 mg by weight Lex., 300 mg well. XL, 4 mg xanax in August, 2012. I'll take it. 5/8/14 started equivalent dose liquid./ tabs. 5/13/14 1.5 % cut. Link to comment
meistersinger Posted September 16, 2012 Author Share Posted September 16, 2012 1347829712[/url]' post='32280'] There is a room at a horse farm at the southern end of the county. if it is who i think it is, it is probably my uncle, the cowboy. Hopefully Cowboy does not share too many characteristics of the first shirt???? No, the first shirt shares more in common with another uncle that lives in Hagerstown, MD. That uncle was a Hollywood Marine, and never let you forget it. The cowboy is more of a overgrown kid, if anything. Of course, he's the youngest of dad's clan, which means he eventually got to live his dream. History: 1995--Prozac--Quit CT by GP 1995--Effexor--Quit per my GP 1996--Amitriphene--Quit CT when changed GP 2005--Citalopram and BusPar. Prescribed when I decompensated in my GP's office. GP referred me to behavior health. Psychiatrist prescibed these drugs. Taken off citalopram in 2011 due to FDA warning. Quit Buspar during transition to viibryd. Viibryd--2011 to present. Had a severe reaction in March 2012. Advised both GP and Psychiatrist I was trying to get off these drugs. Link to comment
meistersinger Posted September 18, 2012 Author Share Posted September 18, 2012 i did look at a room 1 block south of Soverign Bank Stadium, where the Revolution, a minor league affiliate of the Baltimore Orioles, play their home games. This place was advertising a room for 90.00 per week. This place being about 3 blocks from the old county prison, it was definitely, a cesspool. I should know better than to look in that part of town. There was another place advertised on craigslist that looked, at least from the photos, to be a little nicer, and looks like it is on Springettsbury Ave, which was the street where a lot of the people from very very old money resided. I'm waiting for a reply via email, if they reply at all. As for the horse farm, it's not my uncle, the cowboy's, place. I'm still waiting for an email reply from them. As for the cable bill, I'm going to mail the bill to the first shirt, telling him i'll be sending him a form from comcast to be signed by me, as well as him, putting the bill in his name. If I get a bill next month, i am just going to cancel the service. Comcast is saying the account is in my name, and is still my responsibility, even though he pays the bill. Since I no longer live there, I no longer need the service. I did talk to my sister-in-law this afternoon, after viewing that room. She was surprised I got that decision so quickly, and the judge i was to have gotten was a tough nut. I told her there must have been a last minute change, and i hardly talked, other than agree to the oath, state my name, and to say "Thank You, your Honor." I did tell her of the mom and dogs snoring comment in my medical records, which she did not find funny, as she does not trust doctors, psychologists and psychiatrists, let alone most people in healthcare. I didn't stay long because she looked horrible. She was complaining of another of her (in)famous migrane headaches, which she thinks came about from drinking too much diet cola. She handed back the pants i needed to have sewn. i guess i'm going to get a seamstress that works for one of the dry-cleaning firms to fix them, once i get money. History: 1995--Prozac--Quit CT by GP 1995--Effexor--Quit per my GP 1996--Amitriphene--Quit CT when changed GP 2005--Citalopram and BusPar. Prescribed when I decompensated in my GP's office. GP referred me to behavior health. Psychiatrist prescibed these drugs. Taken off citalopram in 2011 due to FDA warning. Quit Buspar during transition to viibryd. Viibryd--2011 to present. Had a severe reaction in March 2012. Advised both GP and Psychiatrist I was trying to get off these drugs. Link to comment
jr1985 Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 Great news meistersinger! Im glad things are starting to look up for you. 2003-2011: Paroxetine,Citalopram,Effexor; Aug/Sept 2011: Effexor to Mirtazapine; Oct 2011: C/T Mirtazapine back to Effexor; Nov/Dec 2011: Fast Tapered Effexor - w/d hell; Feb 2012: Reinstated Effexor 37.5mg; June 2012: Dropped to 35.6mg; Jan 2016: Propranolol 2.5mg per day for general anxiety; Feb 2016: Finasteride 0.25mg per week to slow hair loss; 18th May - 8th June 2019: Started Vyvanse 7.5mg and increased by 7.5mg weekly to 30mg (lowest “therapeutic” dose for adults).; 21st June 2019 - 12th July: Cross tapered from venlafaxine brand Rodomel to Efexor (1/4 > 1/2 > 3/4 weekly before ditching Rodomel); 13th July 2019: Cut Vyvanse dose to 15mg; 15th July 2019: Akathisia returned after years of being free; 16th July 2019: Went back up to Vyvanse 30mg Supplements: Omega-3, Vitamin D, Zinc, Phosphatidylserine Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus areyouthere Posted September 19, 2012 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted September 19, 2012 No, the first shirt shares more in common with another uncle that lives in Hagerstown, MD. Hope you find a place and thank God you are out from under your brother's "care". uncle that lives in Hagerstown, MD. You live very near where one of my ancestors served/ encamped or whatever during the civil war. He served as a "musician" ( drummer) with Company D of the 13th Mass. He mustered in at the age of 16 standing 5' 3" tall and mustered out at 19 standing 5' 8". Boy grew up with hell fire all around him. Can you imagine that? Lots of history in your area. Are you familiar with much of it? Fall 1995 xanax, zoloft. switched to Serzone 1996- spring 2003serzone/ xanax/ lightbox. b]Fall 2003- Fall 2004? Lexapro 10 mg. Light box /4 mg. xanax.[/b] 2004 - Fall of 2009 10 mg Lex, 150 mg Wellbutrin XL % 4 mg xanax November 2009- Sept. 2011 10 mg lex., 300 Well. XL, 4 mg Xanax [/b Sept.2012- July 2012 20 mg Lex 300 Well. XL, 4 mg Xanax My mantra " go slow & with the flow " 3/2/13.. Began equal dosing 5 Xs /day xanax, while simultaneously incorporating a 2.5 % drop ( from 3.5 mg/day to 3.4 mg/day) 4/6/13 dropped from 300 mg. Wellbutrin XL to 150 mg. Difficult but DONE! Down to 3.3 mg xanax/ day / 6/10/13 3 mg xanax/day; 7/15/2013 2.88mg xanax/day. 10/ 1/2013...... 2.5 mg xanax… ( switched to tablets again) WOO HOO!!!!!! Holding here… cont. with Lexapro. 1/ 2/2014.. tapered to 18mg ( by weight) of a 26 mg ( by weight) pill of 20 mg tab. lexapro. goal is 13mg (by weight OR 10 mg by ingredient content) and STOPPED. Feeling very down with unbalanced, unpredictable WD symptoms. 1/2/2014- ??? Taking a brain-healing break from tapering anything after actively tapering something for 1.5 years. So… daily doses as of 2/2/2014: 18 mg by weight Lex, 150 mg Well. XL, 2.5 mg xanax, down from 26 mg by weight Lex., 300 mg well. XL, 4 mg xanax in August, 2012. I'll take it. 5/8/14 started equivalent dose liquid./ tabs. 5/13/14 1.5 % cut. Link to comment
meistersinger Posted September 19, 2012 Author Share Posted September 19, 2012 No, the first shirt shares more in common with another uncle that lives in Hagerstown, MD. Hope you find a place and thank God you are out from under your brother's "care". uncle that lives in Hagerstown, MD. You live very near where one of my ancestors served/ encamped or whatever during the civil war. He served as a "musician" ( drummer) with Company D of the 13th Mass. He mustered in at the age of 16 standing 5' 3" tall and mustered out at 19 standing 5' 8". Boy grew up with hell fire all around him. Can you imagine that? Lots of history in your area. Are you familiar with much of it? Not as much as I'd like. History: 1995--Prozac--Quit CT by GP 1995--Effexor--Quit per my GP 1996--Amitriphene--Quit CT when changed GP 2005--Citalopram and BusPar. Prescribed when I decompensated in my GP's office. GP referred me to behavior health. Psychiatrist prescibed these drugs. Taken off citalopram in 2011 due to FDA warning. Quit Buspar during transition to viibryd. Viibryd--2011 to present. Had a severe reaction in March 2012. Advised both GP and Psychiatrist I was trying to get off these drugs. Link to comment
meistersinger Posted September 19, 2012 Author Share Posted September 19, 2012 I did visit the horse farm yesterday. Both rooms look quite cozy, unfortunately, they are not available until October 1. This place will only accept cash on a weekly basis, since the lady's daughter is collecting the rent, and will not accept payment monthly. In short, get a job. I am starting to run out of cash. I pulled 500 from my savings yesterday in the hopes I'd have someplace by now. I may have to call my caseworker at MHMR to get the number from Bell Socialization Services, who was supposed to call me last week, as I have discovered they have rooms and apartments throughout the city, and hopefully I can apply for HUD Section 8 for one of their apartments, which will serve for me to find something more respectable. The first shirt may have the final laugh, since it is going to be a while before I hear from Social Security about my check and award letter. I am beginning to get worried. Why do I feel like Youssarian in the novel Catch-22? History: 1995--Prozac--Quit CT by GP 1995--Effexor--Quit per my GP 1996--Amitriphene--Quit CT when changed GP 2005--Citalopram and BusPar. Prescribed when I decompensated in my GP's office. GP referred me to behavior health. Psychiatrist prescibed these drugs. Taken off citalopram in 2011 due to FDA warning. Quit Buspar during transition to viibryd. Viibryd--2011 to present. Had a severe reaction in March 2012. Advised both GP and Psychiatrist I was trying to get off these drugs. Link to comment
meistersinger Posted September 19, 2012 Author Share Posted September 19, 2012 I just had another bout of crying. I have no idea of what's going to happen next. I'm quickly running out of funds, I'm not going to have enough to find another place to live, Social Security is going to take a while to process my award, I can't get people to call me back. THIS ISN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN TO SOMEONE WHO IS EDUCATED. I KNOW NOW I AM A MENTALLY I'LL PERSON, WHO DESERVES THE HELL I AM GOING THROUGH. I've only gotten 3 hours sleep so far, I woke up almost an hour ago with a panic attack. My anxiety right now is through the roof. I once worked with a driver at Pizza Hut that had the attitude "the rich" could care less about us lower class workers, regardless of how educated we are. I thought, at the time, he was insane for harping on that subject. Actually, he was right. I deserve everything that currently happens. Someone, please break into this room, and do me extremr physical harm, I CAN'T TAKE IT ANY MORE!!! Whoever said that the mentally ill are the strong ones is a LIAR! The only strong people out there are like the first shirt, who are willing to crap all over everyone else to get their way. In short, everything that happens in the world is my fault, even when it is out of my control. My brothers are right. I am a lazy slob who doesn't deserve to live, especially since I refuse to take the first job that comes along, no position out there interests me, I've stopped playing because my right hand is swollen again, I have no transferable skills, according to Social Security, I'm too old, I'm mentally Ill, I have a chronic metabolic disease, I'm spending too much money again (even though it is on bare essentials, like shelter, food, car repair, etc.). Nobody like a totally dependent adult. Leo Durocher was right: "Nice guys finish last." History: 1995--Prozac--Quit CT by GP 1995--Effexor--Quit per my GP 1996--Amitriphene--Quit CT when changed GP 2005--Citalopram and BusPar. Prescribed when I decompensated in my GP's office. GP referred me to behavior health. Psychiatrist prescibed these drugs. Taken off citalopram in 2011 due to FDA warning. Quit Buspar during transition to viibryd. Viibryd--2011 to present. Had a severe reaction in March 2012. Advised both GP and Psychiatrist I was trying to get off these drugs. Link to comment
meistersinger Posted September 19, 2012 Author Share Posted September 19, 2012 I just got off the phone with my caseworker at OVR. I left her know I won my appeal with social security. I also left her know that I also contacted my caseworker at MHMR, who was not available. I left the OVR Caseworker know I am running low on funds to stay in this motel. She refers me to Social Services. AARGH!!!! I am beginning to wish I never heard of any of these services, lie down and die! I 'm tired of the frustration. I am so tired of going between all the social agencies, only to play "pass the buck." History: 1995--Prozac--Quit CT by GP 1995--Effexor--Quit per my GP 1996--Amitriphene--Quit CT when changed GP 2005--Citalopram and BusPar. Prescribed when I decompensated in my GP's office. GP referred me to behavior health. Psychiatrist prescibed these drugs. Taken off citalopram in 2011 due to FDA warning. Quit Buspar during transition to viibryd. Viibryd--2011 to present. Had a severe reaction in March 2012. Advised both GP and Psychiatrist I was trying to get off these drugs. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Skyler Posted September 19, 2012 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted September 19, 2012 I just got off the phone with my caseworker at OVR. I left her know I won my appeal with social security. I also left her know that I also contacted my caseworker at MHMR, who was not available. I left the OVR Caseworker know I am running low on funds to stay in this motel. She refers me to Social Services. AARGH!!!! I am beginning to wish I never heard of any of these services, lie down and die! I 'm tired of the frustration. I am so tired of going between all the social agencies, only to play "pass the buck." Hi Meister.. folks in Social Service agencies have a great deal of trouble telling you they have no resources, so by default refer refer refer.. have you heard anything from the church.. or other non Social Service agency contacts. When are you scheduled to get a lump sum check from SSA. You lawyer should advise you on this in the event you don't know. Have you asked him? This is crucial as you may be able to use these funds to pay for lodgings until you get a regular check. If you get the same message from a Social Service agency twice (X and Y).. eg. they tell you to go to Y for help, and in turn Y refers you back to X .. ignore the suggestions. You are just getting default advice and getting upset. You may need to step off that 'Merry-Go-Round". Again, most sorry this has all proven so horrible. Things will start to improve, the question is when... Edit 10:30 AM PS.. did you get the unearned income issue clarified. Unearned income refers to income from stocks and bonds.. or rent from property, that sort of thing. Any income from employment, under the table or otherwise is subject to the same $1,000 limit. That is, if SSI (or the IRS) finds out about same. It would be under the rules for Self-Employment. Err, what they don't know won't hurt em (or you)? But before you start to worry about this sort of thing, you need to get your living situation squared away. Hmm, like you don't know awready! As always, LISTEN TO YOUR BODY! A proud supporter of the 10% (or slower) rule. Requip - 3/16 ZERO Total time on 25 years. Lyrica: 8/15 ZERO Total time on 7 or 8 yrs.BENZO FREE 10/13 (started tapering 7/10) Total time on 25 years. Read my intro thread here, and check the about me section. "No matter how cynical you get, it's almost impossible to keep up." Lily Tomlin Link to comment
Barbarannamated Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 Meistersinger, You are so close to finally having a place to call home that having to jump through the hoops is understandably infuriatiating. Perhaps your lawyer knows ways to expedite the process considering your situation. When I went through that process years ago, there was significant jockeying of funds among agencies and then paying back when settlement arrived. I don't know if anything similar may apply to your case. You've been at the hotel for awhile now. Perhaps the proprietor would consider allowing you to stay with payment in full as soon as you receive your SSDI payment. I don't think that's unreasonable to ask. Please keep us posted. Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc). Link to comment
meistersinger Posted September 19, 2012 Author Share Posted September 19, 2012 Meistersinger, You are so close to finally having a place to call home that having to jump through the hoops is understandably infuriatiating. Perhaps your lawyer knows ways to expedite the process considering your situation. When I went through that process years ago, there was significant jockeying of funds among agencies and then paying back when settlement arrived. I don't know if anything similar may apply to your case. You've been at the hotel for awhile now. Perhaps the proprietor would consider allowing you to stay with payment in full as soon as you receive your SSDI payment. I don't think that's unreasonable to ask. Please keep us posted. The proprietor does not even live here. The innkeeper just collects the money. I had the thought that I just might stay where I am at. Time will tell... I becoming more convinced that everyone in my family is both right and wrong about my situation. Yes, I'm lazy. I just simply gave up, since I can't find work. I can't seem to get motivated on anything. Ssa says I'm not retrain able because of my age. Then why are some people I hear about on SSA at my age being successful in a new career? I feel like damaged goods all the time. I see an elderly man walking out here occasionally. It looks like he is homeless. I'm afraid I'll end up like him. I'm so sick of being afraid of everything. The door to my room is triple locked because of my fear. I just want to be left alone to cower in fear. History: 1995--Prozac--Quit CT by GP 1995--Effexor--Quit per my GP 1996--Amitriphene--Quit CT when changed GP 2005--Citalopram and BusPar. Prescribed when I decompensated in my GP's office. GP referred me to behavior health. Psychiatrist prescibed these drugs. Taken off citalopram in 2011 due to FDA warning. Quit Buspar during transition to viibryd. Viibryd--2011 to present. Had a severe reaction in March 2012. Advised both GP and Psychiatrist I was trying to get off these drugs. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now