☼ meistersinger

[Skyler]

I did receive my backpay from social security. It was quite substantial, however, PA Dept of Public Welfare didn't take their cut from the backpay, nor did the Federal government for Student Loans. When I contacted Welfare to make the payment, they would not accept payment using a stored value card. They told me they only accept money order or a check. So, I've been pulling the maximum amount I can withdraw each day on this stored value card, and depositing in my savings account. Threr's a fee free ATM at a nearby bank that uses the same network as this stored value card, so I've been using that machine for the funds withdrawal.

 

I did speak to my sister-in-law yesterday, and told her about my back pay from Social Security. While she was happy I got the money, she reminded me that i still owe the First Shirt to get my room fixed. I wouldn't be surprised if he has done anything to make repairs. while I shouldn't comment, he is as bad as me, as well as the rest of the family, when it comes to starting projects and not finishing them, for whatever reason. Besides, I am considering chapter 7 bankruptcy, once I get notification from the debt collectors on what i owe.

 

Welfare did not deduct the funds directly out of your SSA check? Are you sure you have to repay them? Have you asked your atty.. some states will try to get people to repay when repayment is voluntary.

 

Have you made arrangements to meet with the student loan people. For goodness sakes, do so before you pay them back! Is there someone at your church who would go with you? It sounds like one of the good people in your choir might be willing to help you with this?

 

I'm glad to hear you are thinking of not paying First Shirt (you did cover the materials?).. far as I can see, he has some nerve asking you given he threw you out with no place to go. And I wonder if your sister-in-law would feel like paying someone who did that to her.. not to mention there is no way you can afford to do so. Sheesh. If and when your brother sends you the bill, put it in a shredder. Sometimes I have a mental image of boxing First Shirt's ears myself!

 

I'm glad it's going well at Docs.. very good indeed. Glad you checked in..

[meistersinger]

1350774316[/url]' post='34791']

1350756396[/url]' post='34784']

I did receive my backpay from social security. It was quite substantial, however, PA Dept of Public Welfare didn't take their cut from the backpay, nor did the Federal government for Student Loans. When I contacted Welfare to make the payment, they would not accept payment using a stored value card. They told me they only accept money order or a check. So, I've been pulling the maximum amount I can withdraw each day on this stored value card, and depositing in my savings account. Threr's a fee free ATM at a nearby bank that uses the same network as this stored value card, so I've been using that machine for the funds withdrawal.

 

I did speak to my sister-in-law yesterday, and told her about my back pay from Social Security. While she was happy I got the money, she reminded me that i still owe the First Shirt to get my room fixed. I wouldn't be surprised if he has done anything to make repairs. while I shouldn't comment, he is as bad as me, as well as the rest of the family, when it comes to starting projects and not finishing them, for whatever reason. Besides, I am considering chapter 7 bankruptcy, once I get notification from the debt collectors on what i owe.

 

Welfare did not deduct the funds directly out of your SSA check? Are you sure you have to repay them? Have you asked your atty.. some states will try to get people to repay when repayment is voluntary.

 

Have you made arrangements to meet with the student loan people. For goodness sakes, do so before you pay them back! Is there someone at your church who would go with you? It sounds like one of the good people in your choir might be willing to help you with this?

 

I'm glad to hear you are thinking of not paying First Shirt (you did cover the materials?).. far as I can see, he has some nerve asking you given he threw you out with no place to go. And I wonder if your sister-in-law would feel like paying someone who did that to her.. not to mention there is no way you can afford to do so. Sheesh. If and when your brother sends you the bill, put it in a shredder. Sometimes I have a mental image of boxing First Shirt's ears myself!

 

I'm glad it's going well at Docs.. very good indeed. Glad you checked in..

 

According to the paperwork I signed, General Assistance has to be paid back in PA. As a matter of fact, that is what I was told when I visited the Welfare Office this past Tuesday. I was going to use the stored value card where my backpay was deposited to make the payment. Unfortunately, they will only take a check or money order for payment. Doc Recommended I wait for Welfare to contact me for payment. In the meantime, he suggested I place the money in an interest bearing account while I wait. I'm putting that money in my savings account while i wait.

As for the first shirt, I might talk to an attorney Doc Recommended I talk to regarding bankruptcy and see what he says. I also decided to spring for the $35.00 to get my credit report online. There are some items on my report that I don't recognize, so I need to call each individual collection agency to find out who the debtor is. I did see a judgement against me for $8000.00 filed in the prothonotary's office, which is legitimate, (i recognize the collection firm that filed the judgement) but I don't remember the creditor who placed the judgement.

I do have the paperwork filled out for discharge of my student loans, I don't know whether to file because of degenerative disk disease (which I just found out about when I got the favorable decision letter, even though i can still walk (with some difficulty), uncontrolled diabetes, arthritis in my knees, so-called bipolar disorder, or Asperger's . Social Security puts my Residual functional capacity at 52. In addition, my visual acuity isn't exactly the greatest. I have no idea what criteria they use for disability in regards to student loans.for example, Doc chastised me about putting a dirty frying pan in with the clean dishes, even though I tried cleaning the pan with a dishrag, as well as a soft bristled scouring brush. i was hesitant to use an SOS pad on the pan for fear of scratching the teflon coating inside the pan, which he used to lightly scour the pan to get the residue out. Maybe its time he hooks up the automatic dishwasher, since he's seeing residue I can't see.

[Skyler]

 

I do have the paperwork filled out for discharge of my student loans,

 

Social Security puts my Residual functional capacity at 52. In addition, my visual acuity isn't exactly the greatest. I have no idea what criteria they use for disability in regards to student loans.for example,

 

The asperger's is the most important IMHO because this was an issue you had even before you went to college and is with you still. The folks who administer the student loan would be most swayed by the disability that has been with you the longest, and is the reason you have had trouble paying back to the beginning.

 

Meister.. is there someone who can give you advice on this where you live.. definitely the Asperger's should be listed. Your current SSA status will be considered as it relates to how much you can pay, but you are asking to have the loan dismissed in it's entirety. Consequently, the student loan folks will go back to when you first could not make payments and assess your health at that time. The way they assess your disability will be quite different from the way SSA does. SSA focused mostly on your present functional capability, while the student loan folks put more weight on lifelong issues. Your case worker at Bell South might know.. also, organizations for people with Asperger's might be a help. There are other people with Aspie's who are in the same situation you are here.

 

Regarding repayment to Welfare.. obviously you are responsible for this. I would not think you need a bankruptcy to refuse to pay your brother.. just don't fess up.. on my life, I don't understand why your family is so harsh.

 

Glad you and doc seem to be getting on okay.. that is excellent.

[meistersinger]

 

 

I do have the paperwork filled out for discharge of my student loans,

 

Social Security puts my Residual functional capacity at 52. In addition, my visual acuity isn't exactly the greatest. I have no idea what criteria they use for disability in regards to student loans.for example,

 

The asperger's is the most important IMHO because this was an issue you had even before you went to college and is with you still. The folks who administer the student loan would be most swayed by the disability that has been with you the longest, and is the reason you have had trouble paying back to the beginning.

 

Meister.. is there someone who can give you advice on this where you live.. definitely the Asperger's should be listed. Your current SSA status will be considered as it relates to how much you can pay, but you are asking to have the loan dismissed in it's entirety. Consequently, the student loan folks will go back to when you first could not make payments and assess your health at that time. The way they assess your disability will be quite different from the way SSA does. SSA focused mostly on your present functional capability, while the student loan folks put more weight on lifelong issues. Your case worker at Bell South might know.. also, organizations for people with Asperger's might be a help. There are other people with Aspie's who are in the same situation you are here.

 

Regarding repayment to Welfare.. obviously you are responsible for this. I would not think you need a bankruptcy to refuse to pay your brother.. just don't fess up.. on my life, I don't understand why your family is so harsh.

 

Glad you and doc seem to be getting on okay.. that is excellent.

 

Doc gave me the name of his attorney. I shall be talking to him regarding 1) the issue with my brother and the repair of my old bedroom. They are getting their nose out of joint because 1) The money came out of insurance which 2) I took from Mom's checking account electronically, when i appropriated funds to replace some of my personal property damaged in the ceiling collapse, which i also appropriated electronically.

There was a case earlier this year that was reported in the Baltimore Sun, as well as in a few legal journals, where a woman in the Baltimore area ran up over $300,000.00 in student loan debt had her loans discharged due to Asperger's. Google Aspergers and Student loans for the results.

As for bankruptcy, I'm only seeing debts going back as far as 2006, with a closed auto loan going back as far as 1998, which is marked closed. There is a judgement against me in York County Prothonatary court for $8000.00, which I remeber answering, but I foget who the original creditor was (i think it might have been either Radio Shack or Citibank, who was also handling credit for Radio Shack at the time. this was also around the time I got caught in an money laundering scam, which I immediately reported to the bank, the police, the FDIC, a friend of mine from college who was consumer affairs reporter for the ABC TV affiliate in Harrisburg, as well as the Irish Banking Authority, as the firm involved was based in Ireland.)

in short, the only thing that matters in my family is money, just like the majority of society. I've been playing keeping up with the Jones, and am now paying the penalty for it big time.

[Skyler]

 

1) the issue with my brother and the repair of my old bedroom. They are getting their nose out of joint because 1) The money came out of insurance which 2) I took from Mom's checking account electronically, when i appropriated funds to replace some of my personal property damaged in the ceiling collapse, which i also appropriated electronically.

 

the only thing that matters in my family is money, just like the majority of society. I've been playing keeping up with the Jones, and am now paying the penalty for it big time.

 

I don't think private parties can attach your SSA monthly check.. I suspect the same holds for the lump sum, so the bottom line is there may be no $$ incentive for your family to come after you. The only avenue open to them would then be to press criminal charges with no hope of financial benefit. Do you think they would go that far?? And NO, the rest of the world is not as punative as your family. They are singularly devoid of compassion.

 

There was a case earlier this year that was reported in the Baltimore Sun, as well as in a few legal journals, where a woman in the Baltimore area ran up over $300,000.00 in student loan debt had her loans discharged due to Asperger's. Google Aspergers and Student loans for the results.

I'd follow her lead as much as possible. Fine to refer to other medical issues, but I'd put mention them almost as an afterthought. FOCUS on Asperger's as the cause.

 

Bottom Line.. Meister, you make pretty good choices out of the gate, but sometimes have trouble following up on them because you get stuck on every nuance (this is where the Asperger's kicks in).. stick to your guns, you are doing good!

[meistersinger]

1350824682[/url]"]1350824682[/url]' post='34811']

1350822447[/url]"]1350822447[/url]' post='34810']1) the issue with my brother and the repair of my old bedroom. They are getting their nose out of joint because 1) The money came out of insurance which 2) I took from Mom's checking account electronically, when i appropriated funds to replace some of my personal property damaged in the ceiling collapse, which i also appropriated electronically.the only thing that matters in my family is money, just like the majority of society. I've been playing keeping up with the Jones, and am now paying the penalty for it big time.

I don't think private parties can attach your SSA monthly check.. I suspect the same holds for the lump sum, so the bottom line is there may be no $ incentive for your family to come after you. The only avenue open to them would then be to press criminal charges with no hope of financial benefit. Do you think they would go that far?? And NO, the rest of the world is not as punative as your family. They are singularly devoid of compassion.

There was a case earlier this year that was reported in the Baltimore Sun, as well as in a few legal journals, where a woman in the Baltimore area ran up over $300,000.00 in student loan debt had her loans discharged due to Asperger's. Google Aspergers and Student loans for the results.

I'd follow her lead as much as possible. Fine to refer to other medical issues, but I'd put mention them almost as an afterthought. FOCUS on Asperger's as the cause.Bottom Line.. Meister, you make pretty good choices out of the gate, but sometimes have trouble following up on them because you get stuck on every nuance (this is where the Asperger's kicks in).. stick to your guns, you are doing good!

Also, with the family, it's all about doing the right thing, no matter what. The funds i spent came from insurance funds, which i initially deposited in Mom's checking account. Using electronic banking to pay her bills while she was in the hospital, without a power of attorney, to them, was illegal, and is enough for them to be satisfied with me being thrown in jail to rot for the rest of my life. It reinforced their view when I withdrew money to 1) replace the items that got damaged in the deluge and 2) to get the materials to repair my room.

 

After i returned the materials and spent the money is when everyone really turned against me. my youngest brother and sister-in-law sorta understood what I did, but still, it was the wrong thing to do, regardless of the altruistic motives I had. I did it to keep her creditors happy, and most of my brothers have a fit about it. Their reasoning was, why should you be so concerned: you put mom in the same position by having your creditors calling mom's phone number and avoiding their calls (which i was, since previous experience with collection agencies were that they are unwilling to negotiate, even though i have told them in the past I'm not making much money, and other circumstances beyond my control were giving me financial issues. The only answer I would get was, we're sorry you're having problems, but its business and we and you don't have a choice. We want our money.)

 

While I did rely on mom for money from time to time, i always attempted to pay her back, in one way or another. Many are the times I woulg go grocery shopping for mom, and ended up short on money. I'd either make up the difference if I had the money (which was seldom), or I just didn't get the item. If she needed to go anywhere, I did it because I thought it was my duty (in addition to the fact it was her car I was driving, which she let me use to deliver pizza, since my credit was so bad I couldn't afford my own car. i paid for the gas and oil, and she would pay everything else. it made everyone else in the family angry, since they felt i was an adult, i should be paying my own way, without any kind of help. I was tempted to tell them many a time, well, why don't you give me a hand, which the f-bomb would be the usual answer, or I'd get the answer, you're an adult, tou don't need help. God only help those that help themselves.

 

It was bad enough I was working in a job way below my intellectual ability and having to fake enjoying the job, let alone some of the comments i would hear about by the grapevine. i detest working for companies that say they value teamwork, yet foster an atmosphere of cut-throat competition where the weakets fail. There was an animated cartoon that was on Cartoon Network several years ago, the title I forget right now, that was a caricature of the pizza delivery business. It wasn't too far from the truth. It gets damn digusting hearing the insults, said and unsaid, about being a deliveryperson. It gets even worse when you are not allowed to even hint at what you think of the customer, lest you lose your job. very seldom did you get a tip that was halfway decent, especially when you're in a rich neighborhood (houses in the $100k to $450k range), with both couples working 2 jobs, and kids that act like they owe them a living.

 

Yes, I understand that the economy's tough, but can't you, or your children show a deliveryperson a little respect, as well as a little monetary appreciation for at least trying to get your order to you in the time promised? Geez, you people are making more money than I'll ever see, especially when I have to pay through the nose for the privilege of working a job that doesn't even allow you to work full time, let alone pays less than minimum wage, because you are considered a tipped employee, and have no benefits and no job security. Doc says I should have never taken the job, but I took these jobs to keep everyone else happy, including mom, who was so far gone by the time she went in the hospital for the last time, she had almost completely lost her grip on reality, no thank to old age, bad health, neglect (by herself and the rest of the family, including myself, since I didn't know how to handle her pain, as well as her depression, due to failing health and old age.

 

Many are the times I'd come home, and she would be crying in her sleep. i'd slam my bedroom door to snap her out of it, only to start crying myself, since her mental state deteriorated to the pointb where she'd snap your head off one second, and the next second she would forget why she snapped. I still was grieving the loss of our shelties, our collies, and our basset hound who were all gone for several years at that point. I also still had problems (and still do) of not being around when Dad got sick and died (I was still in Chicago at the time), and never got over it, even to this day. And they have the nerve to tell me to suck it up, be a man, and get over it? That is one thing that annoys me with Doc, its you're a grown man, you should be doing this on your own.

 

with doc, it's the military discipline talk, but he senses I'm not as worldly as he is, since he came from the black ghetto, and I came from the sheltered wrong side of the white tracks. i've also learned that doing the right thing also means I'm a jackass for being so, since it means you pay the ultimate price financially, professionally, and, in my case mentally. i've had a death wish for over 40 years, since i always felt my best was never good enough for anything, regardless of the situation. Even when doing what I do best, it was never good enough. That's the way it's always been in anything I do. It has to be that way in music, as the public always expects perfection.

 

Enrico Carouso, the Great Italian tenor of the early 20th century said it best. He had to give 120% of himseld because of his name. I have to give 120,000,000% of myself to prove my worth, which most people disregard all the time. Is it any wonder I seldom perform, other than the fact that age is starting to take its toll on my voice (one of my few friends always called me Pavarotti, mostly because of the purity of my voice, although my weight also has something to do with it also ;-). I always thought I was more in the line of a very young Jussi Bjoerling, with the dramatic skills of Sir Jon Vickers.)

 

Sorry for the long speech, I guess it's the Asperger's (sarcasm intentionally meant). In short, in my family, you're supposed to be independent, whether you're ready or not. If not, then you deserve to suffer the consequences, and don't bother asking anyone, welfare or private, for assistance, since 1) you don't deserve it, either in the past, now, or in the future (That goes quintuple for anyone, in my family's opinion, who even considers going on welfare, or has a mental or developmental disability (unless the developmental challenges include intellectual challenges, and even then, that is suspect.

 

my youngest brother and his wife even think that way, since they got the royal shaft from social security with their low functioning, intellectually challenged son, because my brother makes too much money, which they will be paying back to the federal government for the rest of their life. I told them to contact an attorney to fight Social Security on this, but they are so neoConservative, and Pat Robertson-like Christian they feel that it's not worth the time or the money. Because of this, they feel that no one else should be collecting Social Security for anything, since this country is so far in debt that the national currency is worthless pieces of paper and precious metals (which is the truth.)

Edited October 23, 2012 by dalsaan
put in breaks to make the post easier to read.

[Skyler]

Sorry for the long speech, I guess it's the Asperger's (sarcasm intentionally meant). In short, in my family, you're supposed to be independent, whether you're ready or not. If not, then you deserve to suffer the consequences, and don't bother asking anyone, welfare or private, for assistance, since 1) you don't deserve it, either in the past, now, or in the future (That goes quintuple for anyone, in my family's opinion, who even considers going on welfare, or has a mental or developmental disability (unless the developmental challenges include intellectual challenges, and even then, that is suspect.

 

my youngest brother and his wife even think that way, since they got the royal shaft from social security with their low functioning, intellectually challenged son, because my brother makes too much money, which they will be paying back to the federal government for the rest of their life. I told them to contact an attorney to fight Social Security on this, but they are so neoConservative, and Pat Robertson-like Christian they feel that it's not worth the time or the money. Because of this, they feel that no one else should be collecting Social Security for anything, since this country is so far in debt that the national currency is worthless pieces of paper and precious metals (which is the truth.)

 

Meister.. I'm puzzled as to why you are still internalizing all the garbage your family is giving you. Do you accept they are wrong? They will never stop trying to give you ***#$%^, but you can stop accepting it.

[meistersinger]

Let the legal fireworks begin. I talked to Doc's attorney this afternoon. I cancelled the cable account at the first shirts house, since it was in my name. Comcast wants their equipment back, which I told them if i come anywhere near his house, I'll be arrested for trespassing. Comcast advised me to contact an attorney to get their equipment back. When I talked to his attorney, his opinion was that I am in the right, since the account was in my name, even though the first shirt was footing the bill. Sure enough, the first shirt calls me, dropping the f-bomb all over the place and to have the cable reconnected immediately. He wouln't let me talk, so I hung up. he tried calling back, and I rejected the call. I disconnected all phones from my Google voice account. I'll be talking to Doc's attorney probably tomorrow and have him write the letter stating to either return Comcast's hardware either to them or him, else I will file suit for the cost of that hardware.

Second, his attorney does not handle bankruptcy. His attorney referred me to another attorney in York that specializes in bankruptcy. He also referred me to mid-Penn Legal Servics, the same outfit my attorney referred me to. When he asked who my attorney was, I gave him his name, which he said, yes, this person is one of the few homest attornies in York. I told him I knew this guy for quite a few years, and i knew his wife and brother-in-law even longer, since they were music directors at my church. I did tell him I was diagnosed with Asperger's, which surprised him, since the research He saw was showing him those that suffered from Aspergers was fathered by men over 40. I'm here, autism in general could come from anywhere, so they really don't know where it comes from.

Finally, as for the bill for repairing my bedroom, if the first shirt tries to bill me,v throw it in the trash. He did say technically, what I did was Illegal, but the first shirt did not follow proper legal procedures for evicting me from his house. Maybe this will show the family I deserve some respect, rather than being treated like a dog.

[Skyler]

Let the legal fireworks begin. I talked to Doc's attorney this afternoon. I cancelled the cable account at the first shirts house, since it was in my name.I am in the right, since the account was in my name, even though the first shirt was footing the bill.

And if I'm not mistaken, you told first shirt he had to put the bill in his name some few weeks ago? It's not like this happened out of the blue.

 

He also referred me to mid-Penn Legal Servics, the same outfit my attorney referred me to. When he asked who my attorney was, I gave him his name, which he said, yes, this person is one of the few homest attornies in York.

Meister, I'm very glad to hear you were in good hands.. meaning those of your church, NOT your family. Mid-Penn Legal Services would be the best if they will take you. Have you called them yet, they may have something of a wait, but the price is right.

 

 

He did say technically, what I did was Illegal, but the first shirt did not follow proper legal procedures for evicting me from his house. Maybe this will show the family I deserve some respect, rather than being treated like a dog.

He sure did not follow proper procedures for evicting you. I thought that treatment would have negated any claims he had. Right on...

 

YOU DESERVE RESPECT. You have our respect, and it would seem, that of many who meet you in your community!! Way to go meister.. ya did good, very very good.

[meistersinger]

i just talked to my youngest brother. He stll feels I should be on the hook for insurance fraud since I took the money from mom's checking accountthat should have been spent on repairing the house. I keep telling him I'm willing to pay, but the first shirt refuses to cooperate. I told him what the attorney told me, and told he thought it was bullsh*t.Even though I made restitution on the materials, i should still be held responsible for spending that money. He also told me, don't get me involved with the first shirt and me, as there will be hell to pay for both of us if the first shirt or i do, Regardless of the Asperger's diagnosis. It comes down to the damn PA german mindset, and there is no forgiveness, even if you do the right thing. Even if my dad were stll alive, he would probably had me jailed for doing this also, then disowned me. No one in my family believes in mental illness, you are responsible for your own actions, no matter what. They don't call PA the Alabama of the north for nothing.

[Skyler]

i just talked to my youngest brother. He stll feels I should be on the hook for insurance fraud since I took the money from mom's checking accountthat should have been spent on repairing the house.

 

I wonder what your mother would say given the circumstances. Who would she hold accountable, you who tried to rectify the wrong in the best way you could, or the brother who made it impossible for you to do so. The you who was thrown into the street with no regard as to whether you would have food to eat or a warm place to stay, or First Shirt who is more concerned about his cable connection than ever he was with you, the latter seemingly possessed of no conscience.

[meistersinger]

1351038507[/url]' post='34924']

1351035492[/url]' post='34921']

i just talked to my youngest brother. He stll feels I should be on the hook for insurance fraud since I took the money from mom's checking accountthat should have been spent on repairing the house.

 

I wonder what your mother would say given the circumstances. Who would she hold accountable, you who tried to rectify the wrong in the best way you could, or the brother who made it impossible for you to do so. The you who was thrown into the street with no regard as to whether you would have food to eat or a warm place to stay, or First Shirt who is more concerned about his cable connection than ever he was with you, the latter seemingly possessed of no conscience.

 

Believe it or not, she would have had me arrested and thrown in jail. Remember, in my family, as well as a lot of families in America, there is no in-between when it comes to money. The only reason I moved back home with her is because I couldn't find work in either of my chosen professions. I was paying her rent, from the small salary I got from the church, when they still had paid soloists at my church.

 

I get accused of concrete thinking because a lot of times I don't have a choice (which is why I get so disgusted with politics.) Even when I could find work, I ended up taking the job for less money, just because it was always the right thing to do. Never mind that I wasn't happy doing the work, or the stress got to me. As long as I was a cog in the machine, and making money, no one cared. Lose your job because of burn out, or because the contract ended, or because of a zero tolerance policy, or because of stubborness because the boss said get it out the door, when you knew the end product was garbage.

 

I lived on my own, for 8 years, and had difficulty doing so. Mom tried to throw both of us out of HER house, several times, until she realized that 1) the economy sucked, and has sucked since 1980 and 2) she needed the money. She became more dependent on all of us as she became older. She relied on me only because I was at home most of the time, usually sleeping (thanks a lot citalopram for making me that way), plus the oddball hours I kept didn't help matters either. How is someone to get any sleep when you're on call 24/7/365, just to deliver pizza?

 

Did I say stuff that was impolite when I thought I was being polite? Yes. Who hasn't committed that kind of faux pas. Do I have a large vocabulary? Yes. Did I have it since an early age? not really. I had to learn these words as I grew. Do I flap my hands like an autistic child?Yes, but it was learned. In music school, you take courses in conducting. Conducting patterns are a stereoyped pattern. Do I flap my fingers? Yes, but it's a habit I picked up when i crack my knuckles. Do i tap my toe? both conciously and unconciously. Conciously, when I am trying to keep time to music, and unconciously, when I am either impatient or anxious. Do I bob my knee? Yes, usually as an unconcious response to anxiety. Can I be a boring, pendantic blowhard who doesn't know when people are bored? of course! Am I honest to a fault? No! I can be deceitful when I need to be. i prefer to be honest..

 

As I read a lot of blogs on Asperger's over the last few months, the more I am convinced that it is, like anything else in the DSM, a load of bull. Yes, depression has a biological component. Stop eating junk! Depression is nothing more than someone or something impeding a person's path to happiness.Why should I do a job I'm not happy doing?

Edited October 26, 2012 by Karma
Added paragraph breaks for readability

[Skyler]

How is someone to get any sleep when you're on call 24/7/365, just to deliver pizza?

You don't get sleep.. the people you worked for were as abusive as your family. The job situation was akin to slave labor, and very possibly illegal. You had no way out, and living like that must have been dreadful.

 

Believe it or not, she would have had me arrested and thrown in jail. Remember, in my family, as well as a lot of families in America, there is no in-between when it comes to money. The only reason I moved back home with her is because I couldn't find work in either of my chosen professions.

So your mother treated you the way she was treated, and you all predictably learned the maladaptive authoritarian behavior from your parents.. And no, for most people there is no rigid imposition of the type of money paradigm you describe. This is the excuse your family used to hurt you. And now you are imposing these unreasonable expectations on yourself, eg. when you agree to repayment in excess of what the criminal justice system would demand. You do not have the funds to spare.

 

THE WORLD IS NOT AS ABUSIVE AS YOUR FAMILY.

 

Meister, you do have a choice. You can decide you want to live in a world that lets you meet your basic survival needs. And this is something you need to work with your therapist on.

[Karma]

MS,

 

Please stop listening to that recording of how bad you are for not fixing the hole in the roof with the insurance money. You were willing to make restitution by using resources from your church and your brother didn't accept it because it couldn't be done in his time frame.

 

It is done. Let it go and move on with your life.

 

You've sounded so much better recently, please don't get sucked back into dysfunctional thinking of your family. I personally wouldn't care what they think because they don't deserve my respect - they wouldn't even offer you a room when your brother kicked you out - I think that is criminal.

 

As Schuyler said, you deserve respect and your friends on the forum do respect you.

 

BTW - please start putting paragraph breaks in your posts - when you have a bunch of text all smashed up together it is very difficult to read.

 

Karma

[Skyler]

Now if I can get my car back in working order. i found a leak in the radiator and having problems with the exhaust. Doc's supposed to show me where a good salvage yard is around here for parts. He's been on my kiester, but I thinks that is more army motivational technique than it is anything.

 

I'm glad you still have the funds and so can make the repairs.. Hope you find some of the parts you need in the salvage, that would save some important $s.

 

Doc on your keister.. motivational techniques. Are you speaking in general, or about the car. Things are still going okay??

[meistersinger]

1351466435[/url]' post='35201']

Now if I can get my car back in working order. i found a leak in the radiator and having problems with the exhaust. Doc's supposed to show me where a good salvage yard is around here for parts. He's been on my kiester, but I thinks that is more army motivational technique than it is anything.

 

I'm glad you still have the funds and so can make the repairs.. Hope you find some of the parts you need in the salvage, that would save some important $s.

 

Doc on your keister.. motivational techniques. Are you speaking in general, or about the car. Things are still going okay??

 

I'm talking in general. The first night I moved in and talked about family, he gave me the same advice he got from an Army Drill Seargent while in boot camp: Screw family, since they know which buttons to push. He gets somewhat OCD, mostly because thatis how the army trains in boot camp.Having worked as a Department of Defense contractor for both the Navy and the Army, I've seen this before, highly structured, highly disciplined.

[Skyler]

Ohhh Meister, all you need to do with your family is learn to ignore them!

 

Howze it going with the student loan stuff... any forward momentun?

[meistersinger]

Not until I get the catalytic converter fixed on my car, so I can get to York to speak to a bankruptcy lawyer.

[Skyler]

Not until I get the catalytic converter fixed on my car, so I can get to York to speak to a bankruptcy lawyer.

 

IMHO, the student loan decision would not be effected by your bankruptcy status, am I incorrect in this?. Would the atty have info on how best for you to approach them? I'm concerned that the student loan will take a chunk of your lump sum payment before you get to take action.

[Skyler]

Having the loan discharged because of Asperger's might be better if that course is open to you? Read this.

[meistersinger]

1351896612[/url]"]1351896612[/url]' post='35534']Having the loan discharged because of Asperger's might be better if that course is open to you? Read this.

it may no longer matter. My incompetence is even causing Doc to have me move. Like everyone else in this area, he thinks im lazy, not mentally ill or autistic or incompetent.

[Skyler]

it may no longer matter. My incompetence is even causing Doc to have me move. Like everyone else in this area, he thinks im lazy, not mentally ill or autistic.

 

It does still matter, though I'm guessing you may be paying the lump sum out for housing... That said, I'm sorry to hear about the issue with Doc. Have you had any further word from Bell South?

[Skyler]

Hi meister... do you have an update??

 

Doc has relieved me of all responsibilites around his mother's home. His opinion is that I'm not autistic, just a lazy motherf*****, just like most people have called me in the past. What annoys me is that some people call me the hardest working, nicest person they've ever seen, yet I still get put on antidepressants for stressing and burning out of a job. Am I really lazy and deserve nothing, or am I really autistic, clueless and naieve?

 

This sounds like doc ran out of patience, and now is blaming you for being disabled?

 

And NO you are NOT lazy. You have difficulty putting your 'world' together, so to speak, and because of this it's harder for you to meet the same standards for productivity as other folks, but that is why you were awarded disability. You 'March to a Different Drummer' is all.. and if people don't take the alternate ways you contribute into account, they end up measuring your worth as lower than it is. We here, like those at your church, look at what you contribute in toto, not just according to what we expect.

 

Your thinking tends to be tangential as opposed to linear (the aspergers/autism thing). So you come up with the unexpected as opposed to the obvious. This makes you special (often refreshing).. we value you for this.

[meistersinger]

I think Doc is starting to get the message. He finally realizes that we are a real life "Odd Couple", Gomer Pyle and SGT Vincent Carter, (but a lot higher Intelligence on the Weschler scales than Gomer), Sgt. Bilko (but without the guile), George Burns and Gracie Allen. To make the comparison even clearer, he's a GM or a Ford motor vehicle, and I'm a Chrysler (those of you that are familiar electrical wiring on automobiles, Chrysler automobile products are generally wired backwards from GM or Ford). I was supposed to report to jury duty this Tuesday. I'm going to have to get to my GP or my psychiatrist on Monday to have an excuse from any further duty due to mental defect. If not, report for duty anyway and (gasp) lie about being completely neutral (which I was forced to do before because I was ordered to do so my employer or lose my job when I worked for the Navy.)

Just like it always was with me, people have a love/hate relationship with me, they may hate what I can or can not do, but they can't help liking or loving me, no matter screwed up I am or how unassumingly intelligent I am in certain subjects except for my family. I'll be checking in occasionally, whether I post is up to providence.

[Skyler]

I think Doc is starting to get the message. He finally realizes that we are a real life "Odd Couple", Gomer Pyle and SGT Vincent Carter, (but a lot higher Intelligence on the Weschler scales than Gomer),

LOL One analogy worked! This means Doc is developing insight into your, err.. foibles? and not being so overbearing?

You are right to get yourself dismissed from jury duty.

Yes.. you are smart, and I think of higher capability than the Weschler tested.

 

Just like it always was with me, people have a love/hate relationship with me, they may hate what I can or can not do, but they can't help liking or loving me, no matter screwed up I am or how unassumingly intelligent I am in certain subjects except for my family. I'll be checking in occasionally, whether I post is up to providence.

 

We here admire you!!

Glad you are going to check in...

[Barbarannamated]

Yes, we do admire you!

[Skyler]

Meister... wondering if you have been in touch with these folks You will probably not get this in time to attend, but I just saw the following on Facebook and thought of you.

ADULT TOPIC: Tonight's adult topic is re you close to your family? Have they helped you in your life? Who are you closest to?

You might be able to vent with peers who have been through the similar problems. Might be up your alley?

[meistersinger]

Doc's mother was home for this week. For a 75 year old who recently had back surgery and has Parkinson's, she's quite feisty. They both think I'm a little slow (in more ways than one). She was doing things, like hanging Christmas lights on the front porch, before I could get her to settle down, since Doc thinks she's in worse shape than she's in. I shared some of my concerns with her about Doc's drinking and cannabis use, which she acknowledges as a problem. I did ask her what the problem was between Doc and his one brother. She said they never got along. She said go ahead and try to get him to talk about it when he's sober, since she knows he's gotten a little rough with me. She told me if he does it again, call his bluff by leaving, since I actually been having some sort of positive effect on him. The local Baptist Church here in the Brogue has an addictions recovery program, so if his mom, his sometimes employer (who graduated with his mom from high school) and myself can get him to go (and he needs to really want to quit), I'll be standing behind him for support, as he really is a good guy, despite the fact that his bark is worse than his bite.

As for the rest of the family, I've pretty much written off the First Shirt and Gettysburg, as they really don't care what happens to me. It was Gettysburg that started this mess with the email where he pretty much told us, quite bluntly, we have no choice, since he was the executor of Mom's estate.

[areyouthere]

The local Baptist Church here in the Brogue has an addictions recovery program, so if his mom, his sometimes employer (who graduated with his mom from high school) and myself can get him to go (and he needs to really want to quit), I'll be standing behind him for support, as he really is a good guy, despite the fact that his bark is worse than his bite.

Key point. Has he ever had periods of sobriety before?

As for the rest of the family, I've pretty much written off the First Shirt and Gettysburg, as they really don't care what happens to me. It was Gettysburg that started this mess with the email where he pretty much told us, quite bluntly, we have no choice, since he was the executor of Mom's estate.

 

So soory to hear this but I understand that sometimes these things are the best for everyone?

 

His Mom does sound like a fire cracker!! Maybe the apple didn't fall from the tree!

[Altostrata]

In your situation, I would be very diplomatic about saying anything to Doc about his bad habits.

 

Suggest you work on distracting him with healthy alternatives, such as taking walks with you or decorating the tree, instead of directly saying anything about drinking or smoking.

[Skyler]

In your situation, I would be very diplomatic about saying anything to Doc about his bad habits.

 

Suggest you work on distracting him with healthy alternatives, such as taking walks with you or decorating the tree, instead of directly saying anything about drinking or smoking.

 

I like that advice Meister... people have habits for a reason, including you! Best leave well enough alone, K?

 

Good to hear from you.

[meistersinger]

Doc was ready to throw me out Saturday night, since he wanted me to be in a location where I've never been. After he calmed down, he asked what was my explanation, and to speak freely, in a military sense. I told him again my parents both came from abusive homes. I told him, with mom, you never knew what to expect when she lost her temper. The one thing that was certain was that she would get physical. Music and reading were the only escapes I had, since it was the only thing I could excel at, and even then I had to work hard to do that with any kind of success.

[Skyler]

Doc was ready to throw me out Saturday night, since he wanted me to be in a location where I've never been. After he calmed down, he asked what was my explanation, and to speak freely, in a military sense.

HI meister... I'm not clear on what you mean by 'a location where I've never been".. Sounds pretty uncomfortable regardless. Is your living situation tenuous much of the time now, or was this an exception and it's usually better?

 

Good to hear from you..

[meistersinger]

From Doc, his mother and myself, Merry Christmas.

 

While Doc and I got in a row Saturday night, after throwing a basin of ice water on me, his mother decided to "hire" me, since I proved myself to be a Christian. While he threatened to evict me again on Sunday, his mother again reminded him who owns the house, NAMELY HER!!! Since she lost her license, which is working toward trying to get back from PennDOT, I been driving her around in her car. I took her to her beautician last Tuesday, and went to get myself a hair cut, then visit my youngest brother and sister-in-law. I gave my sister-in-law 60 dollars for Christmas, since my brother's hours at R.R. Donnelly in Lancaster were cut until very recently, to divide between the 5 of them. I asked if she heard from the First Shirt and Gettysburg. She has not heard from the First Shirt or Gettysburg since mom's funeral, although some friends of her had seen Gettysburg and his wife at a high school football game. He's fatter than I am, and she's looking like an old hag. I've been losing weight and most of my clothing no longer fit me.

 

Sunday, I took Doc's mom to her mother's house, who is a very feisty 93 year old. She exchanged gifts with her and her sisters, who decided that I'm a nice guy after all. Doc's mom commented about how Doc sasses her. I told all of them, if he tried that with my mom, he'd get hit up alongside the head with a wooden rolling pin. They all laughed, and said that's EXACTLY what he needs. I also took her to the candlelight service at her church, which does a multimedia, contemporary service, which, while I'm not exactly fond of that type of service, was well done.

 

Christmas Eve it snowed about 2 inches. While Doc was in another one of his moods, he changed after I presented his mom with a $100.00 gift card from Sears, and presented him with a $100.00 gift card from Home Depot, plus gave him back the $50.00 gift card for Craftsman tools I got him for his birthday. That's only the second time I've ever seen him close to tears, the first time out of sheer frustration. He told me, man, you p*ss me off at times, but you really are a nice guy. He and his mom were concerned about me going to York for my church service, since Brown Road in Chanceford Township, where the house is located, is quite hilly and neither the state or the township plow or salt it right away. He did hook me up with one of his best ties, so I could wear it with my black suit to church. He's here, we're making a trip to the Salvation Army Store in Dallastown, to hook me up with the best clothing they have over there (and you wouldn't believe the clothing that are in nearly perfect shape they get). He even called me on my cell as I was leaving the church after the slice, asking about the shape of the roads in York. I told him the roads were wet, but clear, and it was foggy. He told me take your time, and I'll see you when you get back to the house.

 

I got home about 1:30 this morning, as the Laurel Rd. was still a mess, and they both told me getting up the hill on Brown Rd from Laurel Rd. is miserable in snow. I turned on Brogueville Rd., passed St. James Lutheran Church's picnic grounds, and up to Brown Rd, which is an equally dangerous intersection, since there is only 1 stop sign. I got back in the house, and Doc asked me to help move the dining Room table, since he was getting ready to strip and wax the linoleum floor. His one brother, niece and her boyfriend stopped by this afternoon for dinner. Doc hightailed it to his room, since he doesn't exactly get along with this brother. This brother just retired from the Army, with his last duty station being at Ft. Myer. He was assigned to the Old Guard (it's also the home to the Army Band). Being that close to the Pentagon, he knows exactly all the politicking that goes on within DCSOPS, who cuts all the orders for all the Army Personnel. Now that he is retired, he's enrolling at Penn State York, majoring in Computer Science. I asked him what he wanted to do in this field, and he's leaning toward programming. I suggested he also might want to look at cyber security, since that's the current hot field.

I also talked to his niece's boyfriend, who also just left the Army. He looking to stay in Federal Civil Service, particularly in administration. He wasn't quite sure what to think of me, but eventually warmed up.

 

I'll be posting a copy of my performance of Pietro Yon's Gesu Bambino from last night, once I get it into Audacity to do some editing after downloading the entire service from SoundClound, and after my Mac Mini finishes updating to OS X 10.7.5

[Altostrata]

meister, what a pleasure to read this. Sounds like you've gotten yourself a family after all.

 

Thank you for this delightful gift. Happy holidays to you and Doc, his mom, and the other folks.

[meistersinger]

I believe I spoke too soon. Doc is beyond all hope, and wants me out ASAP. Frankly, I'm tired of being stuck in a Foghorn Leghorn cartoon, being called a liar, being called lazy, a beached whale, having my life threatened, etc. I guess it does no good to be nice to people. I'll just keep my mouth shut from now on, despite his mother being a kind christian woman to me. I wish I had a baseball bat right now (and I am being dead serious).