☼ getofflex: weaning of Lexapro

[getofflex]

@YachtRockthanks for your support and words of encouragement.  I'm hanging in by using non drug ways of coping, and by slowing down and focusing on my relationship with the Lord with prayer and bible reading. 

 

17 hours ago, YachtRock said:

September was so bad I thought I was reverting to my early acute withdrawal state from a year ago, and I started considering a full reinstatement, but I pushed through.

I'm glad you decided to push through.  I take it you have improved since September.  Yes, you are correct, in that the issues for which we were medicated do come up again.  The difference now, is that I'm facing these issues head on, and working through them, rather than avoiding them and numbing myself with drugs.  Working through the issues is painful, but productive.  Thanks for your vote of confidence.  I hope that you will learn non drug ways of coping with the anxiety.  Personally, I've found developing a strong spiritual life the best way to find peace in the storm.  

[Erell]

Dear @getofflex, 

 

I send you my compassion and my support while reading you are having a hard time. I hope the storm is gradually calming down. ❤️

I am glad to read that you have a faith that allows you to find strength and feel supported in these processes.

It sounds like you have a great toolkit to navigate these turbulences.
 

I know how difficult it is to congratulate yourself or find yourself strong when you are going through so much, but I would like to emphasise how strong you are: unlearning our drug reflexes and old ways of reacting to the manifestations of our minds and bodies, learning new ways of coping and accepting discomfort, and continuing to practise these tools despite the apparent lack of results that we sometimes face, all show great strength and courage, and I thank you for sharing your journey with us.

 

I'm glad you find ways to support yourself in this discomfort and pain, and I just wanted to add to your toolkit my support and my confidence in your ability to build pathways that suit you for this new phase of your life. Take care dear friend, it will get better. ☀️

[Erell]

How are you doing this week dear @getofflex ?

[getofflex]

Hello friends, sorry I haven't responded to each of your kind and supportive comments.  Know that I read each one, and each of you are a big help and support to me. 

 

I'm in a strange pattern where every other day, I feel OK, and the alternate days, I feel tired, some DP/DR, some neuro emotions, poor sleep, etc.  I'm grateful that at least I have some good days.  And I'm reminding myself this is still not nearly as bad as it was several years ago, when I was tapering too fast before I found this site.  

 

I'm dealing with a difficult situation with my older son, who is in his upper 20's.  I'm sure the stress of this is not helping, nor is the fact that the weather and seasons have changed very abruptly here in my part of the world from hot to cold.  We went from the 80's F to the 20's and 30's F, within 2 days a week ago.  

 

I think part of what is a challenge to me, is that after almost 20 years of having my emotions blunted by these drugs, I'm now having to face all my emotions with no buffer, and the emotions are exaggerated with neuro emotions.  However, I'm being optimistic, and I believe that in time, my neuro emotions will settle down, and I will get more used to having the full range of emotions.  November is also a hard month for me, due to the shorter darker days.  So I'm using a SAD light, and getting outside for walks each day.  

 

 

 

 

[mstimc]

2 hours ago, getofflex said:

I think part of what is a challenge to me, is that after almost 20 years of having my emotions blunted by these drugs, I'm now having to face all my emotions with no buffer, and the emotions are exaggerated with neuro emotions.  However, I'm being optimistic, and I believe that in time, my neuro emotions will settle down, and I will get more used to having the full range of emotions.  November is also a hard month for me, due to the shorter darker days.

I went through this as well after I finished my taper.  I had to relearn to deal with the natural emotions we experience just as part of daily life.  I was so afraid I was slipping back into anxious or negative thinking patterns.  It took me a while to understand and accept my emotions without the mask of medication.  Peace will come my friend!

[itiscomplicated]

3 hours ago, getofflex said:

I think part of what is a challenge to me, is that after almost 20 years of having my emotions blunted by these drugs, I'm now having to face all my emotions with no buffer, and the emotions are exaggerated with neuro emotions.  However, I'm being optimistic, and I believe that in time, my neuro emotions will settle down, and I will get more used to having the full range of emotions.

 

It's tough to tease out the difference, isn't it? What's the WD stuff vs. what's a new awareness of the unmedicated experience.

 

Glad to hear things are never as bad as they were a couple years ago, and that you're optimistic that things will keep improving.

 

 

[Taperstruggles]

On 11/18/2022 at 7:06 PM, getofflex said:

 

I think part of what is a challenge to me, is that after almost 20 years of having my emotions blunted by these drugs, I'm now having to face all my emotions with no buffer, and the emotions are exaggerated with neuro emotions.  However, I'm being optimistic, and I believe that in time, my neuro emotions will settle down, and I will get more used to having the full range of emotions.  November is also a hard month for me, due to the shorter darker days.  So I'm using a SAD light, and getting outside for walks each day.  

I second this. I'm an empath with lots of childhood trauma in my background, this is probably why I developed severe anxiety as an adult. In some ways the slight blunting of feelings the meds have given me has been a saving grace in periods with too much in my life, I was not able to cope at a point int my life and needed the edges of life slightly softened. That said, now that I am tapering it's sometimes a bit overwhelming to have to deal with emotions with less buffer. I always used to be super emotional and teary, this never went completely away on the meds but I have noticed that the lower I go in dose the more I cry. I cry from sadness, frustration and happiness almost every day now, I feel a bit silly at times. It's not exactly a bad experience more a bit surprising. However, dealing with negative emotions with less of a buffer is at times a challenge. I get scared that I'm going to end up back in that awful horrible dark place I was in prior to going on meds originally, I was in a really bad way at that point and I believe I have a bit of ptsd from that period. So now that I do get some anxiety although not the crippling type, it scares me and I'm working on letting these emotions come, to trust that I won't go back to that place. Re-learning to feel more and to be ok with that is challenge. 

 

On 11/18/2022 at 7:06 PM, getofflex said:

 

 

 

 

 

[getofflex]

6 hours ago, Taperstruggles said:

I have noticed that the lower I go in dose the more I cry.

Yes, I relate.  I've become quite the crier since I got off these meds.  It's good, but can be exhausting, too.  I, too am an empath.  Please rest assured that with good non drug coping skills, you can keep yourself from going back to that very dark place again.  I understand that you would be afraid of going there again.  

 

In fact, something Brass Monkey said to Erell is something I experience too.  

 

On 11/11/2022 at 2:11 PM, brassmonkey said:

When I was in the thick of it, things would build up like an emotional spiral. every six to eight weeks I would have a "breakdown" and let it all out. First ones would last for hours, but they slowly got shorter and shorter and more predictable, so I could see them coming. I would feel very drained for several days after and then always felt much better for having done it. I think it is very important to have such cathartic moments to help equalize one's emotions and let out the built-up tension.

I'm experiencing this exact same thing!  Only my cycles are much shorter.  Every 2-3 days, I have a crying spell for about 20-30 minutes, and I usually feel so much better the next day.  I feel cleansed, purged, lighter, and freer emotionally.  I generally sleep better after these crying jags too.  Then, the emotions build up again, and I have another crying spell.  I know I have CPTSD from severe childhood neglect and abuse.  Thankfully, in Pete Walker's book about CPTSD, he says that grieving is the way to heal from CPTSD, so I'm glad I'm able to feel again. 

Edited November 21, 2022 by getofflex

[Greatful]

@getofflex 

So proud of you for being drug free for 4 months.....I dream of that day

 

Can you tell me what kind of sad or full spectrum light you us.  I checked on Amazon and there are several to pick from.  Also I was told that it can cause you to become stimulated, have you noticed a increases in agitation or anxiety using it?   

I was trying to decide if I  should try a low 400 iu vitamin D3  first or if the light would be better,  any thoughts on this.

 

[getofflex]

Here is the link to the SAD light on amazon.  

 

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000W8Y7FY/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1

 

I didn't use it yesterday or today.  Today I was outside hiking for 2 hours on a sunny day.  Truthfully, I feel better when I get outside in natural light and nature, than using this light.  But I will use this when we get rainy gloomy weather. 

 

 

Edited November 23, 2022 by getofflex

[Rosetta]

Hi, there! Wow. That is wonderful that you went for a hike.  That helps a lot.  I hope you feel better soon.  Thank you for being here and helping people! - Rosetta

[Thorin]

On 11/22/2022 at 2:45 AM, getofflex said:

Thankfully, in Pete Walker's book about CPTSD, he says that grieving is the way to heal from CPTSD, so I'm glad I'm able to feel again. 

I believe this is the only way for those of us with trauma to heal. We have to feel it to heal it, which you can’t do if everything’s numbed or smothered.

[getofflex]

13 hours ago, Rosetta said:

That is wonderful that you went for a hike.  That helps a lot.

Being out in nature is very healing to the brain. Yes it is very good. 

[getofflex]

Hello everyone, I'm very happy to report the issue with my older son has been resolved.  I'm deeply thankful, and very relieved!  So I'm feeling much better!  I managed to get 8 hours of sleep last night, which is always wonderful.  For the past 5 weeks or so, I've been in a pattern of feeling good every other day, and bad the alternating days.  It correlates directly with how much sleep I had the night before.  Also, the issue with my son was creating a lot of emotions and neuro emotions, and stress.  I'm very glad that is it now resolved!  

[Erell]

15 hours ago, getofflex said:

Hello everyone, I'm very happy to report the issue with my older son has been resolved.  I'm deeply thankful, and very relieved!  So I'm feeling much better!  I managed to get 8 hours of sleep last night, which is always wonderful.  For the past 5 weeks or so, I've been in a pattern of feeling good every other day, and bad the alternating days.  It correlates directly with how much sleep I had the night before.  Also, the issue with my son was creating a lot of emotions and neuro emotions, and stress.  I'm very glad that is it now resolved!  

Very glad to read this. You deserve peace and rest ❤️

[getofflex]

video: Claire Weekes on Anxiety and Panic

[mstimc]

I read Weeks' book when I was going through WD.  Very helpful and gave me some more tools to add to my coping toolbox!

 

[getofflex]

I just thought I would give 5 month update of being off Lexapro!  

 

I'm really proud of myself for getting off this drug.  For the first 3 months I jumped off, I felt overall pretty good.  Most days were OK, some were good, and a few were bad.  At about the 3 month point, in October, I started to go into a pattern where I could have a good day, then a bad day, then a good day, etc.  My symptoms were insomnia (mild, was still able to sleep about 5 to 6 hours), DP/DR (mild), neuro emotions (intense, but I also have CPTSD), fatigue, brain fog, hot flashes (mild).  Then, I went on a trip to Connecticut, and some stuff happened which stressed me out, and for a while I was struggling with stress from this, which exacerbated the symptoms previously described.  Thankfully, this situation got resolved on Nov. 24, and I had a very good 9 days.  The last 2 days, I've had some symptoms, but mild.  

 

So overall, I've been doing very well!  I would say most of my days I feel OK.  I still have some fatigue and mild DP/DR most days, but it is not disabling fatigue.  I'm able to spend several hours each day going birding, painting and drawing, reading, spending time with hubby (he and I are retired), going to church functions, activities related to a quilting group, cooking, baking, walking, and hiking.  Of course I don't do all this in one day, but I just want to reassure everyone that there is life after these nasty drugs and withdrawal.  Even if you are still in withdrawal, and have some difficult days, it is still possible to do things and enjoy life in spite of it.  

 

I have been tapering off of my GABA supplement.  I don't know if having a slight downturn in the past few days is related to this.  My retired pharmacist husband doesn't think so.  

 

I took a really long time to get off my last little bit of Lexapro, and I'm very glad I did.  I think it helped me to jump off, and not go into a tailspin.  

Edited December 5, 2022 by getofflex

[Erell]

Thanks for the update, getofflex, and congratulations, it's a well-deserved “soft” landing. ❤️

 

[mstimc]

Congratulations, Getofflex!  And thank you reassuring folks they can wean off the meds and get their lives back.  So often it seems there's no end to WD, but anyone can recover if they use the right tools and approach it with a positive attitude.

[getofflex]

I find myself back in a wave.  It started last night.  We had a strong weather system that moved into my area last night, so I got little sleep due to agitation, and had neuro emotions, and dark intrusive thoughts.  So, as I laid in bed I listened to relaxing music, and eventually, this helped me calm down and get a couple of hours of sleep.  Today, I will slow down and be very gentle with myself.  Probably do some simple activities at home, and read the Bible to uplift and encourage myself.  I know this is temporary and will pass, and is only a symptom of protracted WD.  It really helped for me to read scrountz's essay:  Steps for Managing WD Symptoms

 

 

Edited December 30, 2022 by getofflex

[mstimc]

Hang in there, Getofflex.  You know waves can come out of nowhere, but as you said, they don't last.  It sounds like your using your coping tools to manage it till it passes.  Performing simple tasks will keep you grounded and send the negative ruminations to the background where they belong.  Positive thoughts from California!

[Greatful]

@getofflex  Thanks for the update....

I too  find some encouragement from that posting about withdrawal and ADR from Scrountz....Sometimes that's all we can do is read a reminder about what's going on as we go through this.

 

I have to ask you....Your hubby is a pharmacist....what are his thoughts about Withdrawal?  Was he able to spread the word about the hidden dangers of drugs to his peers? I see the most of  medical field as being in the dark?

 

May your waves be short and shallow and your windows bright and clear🌞

[Erell]

It's good to hear from you, despite this wave. 🙂

I am glad you have a tool like the Bible to maintain your faith in your strenght and to support you in your needs.
I will have a thought for you during my evening visualisation time and will probably transport us to a very quiet place, in the middle of the mountains with a ray of sunshine caressing the cheek during a nap on the grass, or perhaps on a dune facing the sea. 

And I'm going to assume that the strong weather system is there to send you all those sweet thoughts. If the wind is blowing tonight, it's probably because there are many of us thinking of you and sending our support. 🍃❤️

Edited December 30, 2022 by Erell

[Elaine5]

That essay was very helpful. Do you have particular verses that help you get through waves? 
 

I hope you sleep soundly tonight and if not, find comfort and coziness. 
 

Thanks for being such a warm light here during difficult times, like a lighthouse! 💙

[getofflex]

On 12/31/2022 at 12:51 AM, ElaineBenes5 said:

Do you have particular verses that help you get through waves? 

Most of the book of Psalms is very helpful, especially:

 

Psalm 23 

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
  He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
   He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness
    for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
    I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
    your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me. You prepare a table before me
    in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
    my cup overflows.
 Sure goodness and mercy shall follow me
    all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord
    forever.

 

Also, 2 Corinthians 4:-7-18

 

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you. It is written: “I believed; therefore I have spoken.” Since we have that same spirit of faith, we also believe and therefore speak, because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you to himself. All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God. Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

 

 

[getofflex]

On 12/30/2022 at 10:36 AM, Greatful said:

I have to ask you....Your hubby is a pharmacist....what are his thoughts about Withdrawal?  Was he able to spread the word about the hidden dangers of drugs to his peers? I see the most of  medical field as being in the dark?

My husband is retired as of May 2021.  He was shocked and surprised about WD, he had no idea about what these drugs really do to people.  Now he knows.  Yes, the medical field is very much in the dark about this.  They put all the blame on the patient, and assume it is our "mental illness" causing the WD in most cases.  

[getofflex]

I'm a little over 7 months post zero.  

 

I'm frankly surprised that my body is still struggling with being completely off the Lexapro.  I spent 2 years just to wean off the last 0.2 mg of Lexapro!  However, I had done several fast tapers and reinstatements prior to finding SA, so my theory is, my system is still recovering from that.  

 

I had 2 very good weeks in a row in late Jan/early Feb.  Then, I made the mistake of going on a hike Feb 4, and then a 4 hour birding trip on Feb 5.  Oops.  The night of Feb 5, I felt activated, and have had ramped up symptoms ever since.  It's so easy to do.  The hike was an easy one, and I didn't feel strained by it.  So, I realize now, I need to be very careful about pacing myself, and not getting overly eager to jump into too much activity.  My pattern now, is I have a night of good sleep, feel good the next day, but then don't sleep that well the alternating nights, and feel poorly the days after that. So, I'm up and down and up and down from day to day.  On the bad days, I feel exhausted, but yet restless and wired, and tend to feel emotional and weepy.  On the good days, I feel energetic, yet relaxed for the most part.  I also was not being as clean with my food, so I'm trying to get back to a cleaner diet.  

 

I'm working on improving my emotional and spiritual approach to life.  I'm much more in touch with my emotions.  One thing I am currently working on, is turning over problems I cannot solve to God, and letting them go.  I'm working on surrendering.  I'm doing this, so that I can avoid stressing myself out unnecessarily.  I need to accept that many of life's problems cannot be solved, and just need to be accepted.  

 

I feel as though I've been on a plateau the past 4 months, but my husband says he can see some improvement, so I take his word for it.  I'll really looking forward to the day when this is completely over.  I'm very thankful for how far I've come, and that I am completely off the psych drugs.  

 

I will say this.  I had been on GABA supplements for years.  I weaned off of those in late December/early January.  I don't know if this may be affecting me, either directly or indirectly.   

 

 

[mstimc]

4 hours ago, getofflex said:

 One thing I am currently working on, is turning over problems I cannot solve to God, and letting them go.  I'm working on surrendering.  I'm doing this, so that I can avoid stressing myself out unnecessarily.  I need to accept that many of life's problems cannot be solved, and just need to be accepted.  

Hi Getofflex

 

I've been participating in a Bible study class coordinated by the rector at my church.  Its more about studying how we can apply the Bible's lessons to life today, and so much of it is about turning over our problems (or what we perceive as problems) to God.   That's something I have to work on, too. We like to think we're in control of our lives but most of that is illusory.  I've been working on trusting things tend to work out for the better whether or not I worry about them.  Its a hard lesson but one worth learning.

 

So sorry to hear you feel stuck, but each day is truly one day closer to recovery. 

[getofflex]

@brassmonkey @Shep  I wonder if you all could give me some feedback and reassurance.  I've been in a slump for the past month. I feel that my sleep has deteriorated, even worse than when I was still tapering.  I'm in this pattern now of waking up at 3 AM, and being unable to go back to sleep. I feel very alert, as if I just had 2 cups of coffee.  This is hours before there is any light from the sun starting to rise.  It doesn't happen every night thankfully.  On these nights I get about 4-5 hours of sleep.  I'm not looking at the clock, but I lay there for what feels like hours before it gets light outside.  Is this one of the late breaking waves you talk about in the post "it doesn't end at zero"?  I've done no alcohol, antibiotics, nor any mood altering substance, etc.  I did get pretty stressed last week about my checking account getting defrauded by a check washing scheme.  A check got stolen out of the mail, and it was cashed for almost $6000 instead of the 300 it was written for.  The bank is taking care of it, and I'm sure they will correct this.  

 

Last year, I had a hard time when we were shifting from winter into spring.  Perhaps it's that again.  The weather has been pretty volatile.  

 

When we go birding we walk around outside for a while, (2-3 hours) so perhaps this is too much physical activity?  I'll be avoiding doing this for a while.  I'll go back to my daily walks outside, and try to be super gentle with my nervous system. I'm using acceptance, and reminding myself that this setback can help me grow spiritually.  I'm using prayer, and recalling uplifting bible verses, and listening to calming music.  

 

I'll go reread the thread about the morning cortisol spike and see if I missed any thing in there.  

[Happy2Heal]

not brass or shep but if it helps any, I am now what, 5 yrs past zero?

and I still have times like this where I wake up early. Usually related to some stress or doing more than usual

 

I still have to be careful not to over it, because I can end up not sleeping at all for a few days

 

so yeh I think its normal...??

 

as if any of this ever seemed NORMAL

 

 

I get over stimulated and can't sleep and then my friends who knew me when I was diagnosed and believed I was bipolar will say, oh you're getting manic again!! you need to go back on meds!!

 

annoys the heck out of me when they do that

I never had any "manic" symptoms til I was put on an SSRI

 

I think SSRI's are evil 

 

anyway I am sure things will settle back down for you

 

 

we're having wild weather fluctuations here too and it's messing with ppl who DON"T have the issues we do with WD recovery 

 

EDITED to add: I am not sure what I experience is related to WD recovery or if it's a symptom of  PTSD.

I have the complex PTSD from very early trauma so I have never known anything close to normal.

I do think that I am a bit more sensitive when it comes to how much stress I can handle, but that also could be aging...

again no way to know!
I like what Moonpie just posted: it helps to just accept it. and not stress too much about the cause.

Sure look for potential triggers and structure your day the best you can for the best shot at good rest but really, sometimes, as the ol Tshirts used to say sh*t happens

 

 

we know how to roll with it, though cuz we have all BEEN THRU it and BACK!! for sure!!

 

you're going to be ok. ❤️

 

Edited March 6, 2023 by Happy2Heal

[Moonpie]

Hi!   I had the same experience.   The sleep back and forth, and also symptoms far more frequent and sometimes intense than what I would have expected after a slow taper.  In fact I let this mess with me and bother me way to much, thinking, " I went slow, it shouldn't still be this way, or this taking too long."  But the fact was it is what it is.  Gradually over time things started easing up. Please don't fall into the trap I did over and over of thinking something is wrong and it shouldn't be this way. Everyone's journey to healing is different.  And mine did not follow the "norm"  whatever that is LOL 

 

Sometimes the change is so gradual and incremental  that you don't notice it over time.  But it happens.  I saw a big change after my 2 year mark. That doesn't mean yours will take that long. 

 

 I had a flair up at my 23 months  which totally rocked my little boat but I think a big part of that was thyroid.  I still have some symptoms, much milder.  My sleep is a wild card.  I take magnesium at bedtime and that makes a big difference.  I still wake up in varying degrees each day with fearful thoughts and  anxiety.  A few days I have had none. 

 

You are doing so good.  The third week after I went off Lexapro a horrific rush of symptoms then it was like I was in withdrawal all over again.   It is sadly just part of mean ol' Lexapro rearing its ugly head till it is defeated.  And it will be! Try to apply what you did and learned  tapering.  You are okay and getting better.  You are moving toward your final destination of healing! IT's happening everyday.  Your brain and CNS are just doing some final tweaking to heal. 

 

 

 

[Heath]

Getofflex I love all the reassurance you got here from everyone! 
It’s helping me just reading here! 
I have been in a little wave off and on for a month and not sleeping well also. Waking at 2 or 3 or 4 and heart beating in my neck . I try to distract by reading or online suduko. 

The weather changes affect me also. It has been crazy here in the south too.

 

Don’t forget the pollen. It is very high here for 3 days. Morning anxiety and nervousness and sleep problems ramped up 3 days ago. 
 

Hang on we will get there, it will pass !!!

You got this !!

 

 

[Hanna72]

Dear @getofflex

Sending you healing vibes. So sorry to hear about your sleep deteriorating, its such a bad feeling and connects to so many things on how we feel in our daily lives.

You have done so good, I pray that your sleep will get better.

Thank you also for all the hard work you do in here, its priceless. But never forget to put yourself number one. You will come out of this, I am sure.

Be well,

All my best to you.

 

[getofflex]

5 hours ago, Happy2Heal said:

not brass or shep but if it helps any, I am now what, 5 yrs past zero?

and I still have times like this where I wake up early. Usually related to some stress or doing more than usual

 

I still have to be careful not to over it, because I can end up not sleeping at all for a few days

 

so yeh I think its normal...??

Thank you Happy to Heal, this is very helpful and reassuring!  It truly is. 

 

5 hours ago, Happy2Heal said:

my friends who knew me when I was diagnosed and believed I was bipolar will say, oh you're getting manic again!! you need to go back on meds!!

 

annoys the heck out of me when they do that

Yah, that would annoy me, too.  I'm glad you don't listen to them and go back on meds.  

 

I agree 110%, SSRI drugs are evil! 

5 hours ago, Happy2Heal said:

we're having wild weather fluctuations here too and it's messing with ppl who DON"T have the issues we do with WD recovery 

Yes, I do believe that.  I is almost hot here in St Louis, (70's).  I have my AC on now, because my bedroom upstairs gets hot. Thank god for AC.  

 

I, too, have CPTSD, so we have a lot in common!  I fully agree with you on acceptance.  I'm doing that now.  

[getofflex]

5 hours ago, Moonpie said:

 I had the same experience.   The sleep back and forth, and also symptoms far more frequent and sometimes intense than what I would have expected after a slow taper.  In fact I let this mess with me and bother me way to much, thinking, " I went slow, it shouldn't still be this way, or this taking too long."  But the fact was it is what it is.  Gradually over time things started easing up. Please don't fall into the trap I did over and over of thinking something is wrong and it shouldn't be this way.

You're right!  I too get those thoughts sometimes.  this process is really stretching my patience. I know that is how the Lord works to sanctify us, He gives us things that really stretch us.  So, this is good for my spiritual growth.  Anyway, your experience is really helpful and reassuring to me, so thank you!  

 

5 hours ago, Moonpie said:

My sleep is a wild card.  I take magnesium at bedtime and that makes a big difference. 

Yes, I can relate.  I've been going to sleep just fine, just waking up way too early and I take a magnesium, but I don't feel any more relaxed afterward, but that's OK.  At least I'm still getting about 5 hours of sleep, just feel activated and agitated until about the middle to late afternoon.  Then, it subsides at night thankfully.  

 

5 hours ago, Moonpie said:

It is sadly just part of mean ol' Lexapro rearing its ugly head till it is defeated.  And it will be! Try to apply what you did and learned  tapering.  You are okay and getting better.  You are moving toward your final destination of healing! IT's happening everyday.  Your brain and CNS are just doing some final tweaking to heal. 

Thank you for this!  It really helps to be on the receiving end of help today, instead of the giving end.