Arti: paroxetine 17 years intolerably

[ChessieCat]

16 minutes ago, Arti said:

I Would Love to work at least part time for a few hours per week. 

 

Perhaps you could do some volunteer work.  There isn't as much pressure on you.  It will give you some routine and purpose in life and it is good for your brain to be active and it can give you some pleasure.  Both of these might help with your sleep.

 

Having a routine can help with getting your sleep pattern established.

 

18 minutes ago, Arti said:

I am Not able to wach movies but i think its the same like with books. 

 

I find it difficult to watch movies and read.  I listen to audio books at night time.

 

When I was tapering there were computer games that I was not able to play; I couldn't play Angry Birds because it increased my anxiety.  I had to play "gentle" games which didn't have a time.  There were some games I did play to help to keep my brain working.  But I had to choose wisely.

[Arti]

On 11/7/2022 at 6:49 AM, ChessieCat said:

Perhaps you could do some volunteer work.  There isn't as much pressure on you.  It will give you some routine and purpose in life and it is good for your brain to be active and it can give you some pleasure.  Both of these might help with your sleep.

 

Having a routine can help with getting your sleep pattern established.

Thanks chessiecat!! i know What you mean the point is i cannot make any appointment with anyone, even not a Visit of my brother with his family. Because i never know how the night goes. I can say it after the night in the morning But that is to late for appointments. 

I have a really routine every day and meanwhile in better days i can do more things and work Around the house but only for me in my own Speed and with no Talk to others.

Talking with People is the worst because of the insomnia the brain capacity is so low.

As i said i do a Lot every day i am outside for many hours. I push me sometimes to much.

Because i have a todo list that reaches to the moon. It is difficult to explain

Sleep is no longer working than the 40 years before. The brain mechanism has changed 

I never feel sleep or feel that i wake up. Sometimes if a few hours passed i can Imagine that i must have sleept for a while, that are the better nights. I cannot difference between Dreaming and thinking, sometimes i think i dream but i feel my body laying in bed at the same time 

The Dominal did that change not the paroxetin. 

So what i would say it is difficult also with volunteer work. And before all that happened i was volunteer in a Club in my village. But i cannot Go back because of the sleep 

 

 

 

[Longroadhome]

@Arti just checking in, are you ok? 

[Arti]

Hi @Longroadhome i'm allways happy to hear from you!

Lately i thought i should write a short Update. 

But the last days were difficult. Anyway before that i had better days 

So give me a few days and i hope i can write a little bit more.

 

How are you ? 

 

Arti 

 

  

[Longroadhome]

2 hours ago, Arti said:

Hi @Longroadhome i'm allways happy to hear from you!

Lately i thought i should write a short Update. 

But the last days were difficult. Anyway before that i had better days 

So give me a few days and i hope i can write a little bit more.

 

How are you ? 

 

Arti 

 

  

That sounds positive !! I’ll look forward to your update. 
Im hanging in there. I’m down with a virus at the moment. 
Very nearly off the last drug. Christmas Day will be my first day completely drug free. The first time in many years. A special present to myself.

[Arti]

Hello @Longroadhome 

 

Normally my plan was it to write a little bit more detailed, but i am back in darkness since thursday. 

 

Before that i had round about two weeks when things was much easier. 

I had in some way a few Milestones. On a Sunday I was at the regulars table at the Club in my Village. It was the first time since beginning of 2019. It was not like before and i had problems with So many Voices. But it was great. When i walked back home tears roll down. 

 

Another Thing was that my old VW Bus was at the workshop. I brought it with my Girlfriend (to explain i think in earlier posts i wrote wife, so i have no wife and a Girlfriend its one and the same Person, i only wrote it because i thought girfriend in my age sounds strange. Got forbid two women in my Condition ) 

Back to the story the Bus repair was done. But my Girlfriend was at work and i didnt want to ask someone else, they al did so much for me. So i decided to cycle to the workshop. Its  only 6 Kilometer but it goes up on Mountain like Kilimanjaro and down on the other side. And the temperaures were below Zero. I have no E-Bike. I walked up the hill a lot and pushed the bike. 

But i drove a Lot too. At the end i was a icicle And very exhausted, but Happy Felt a little bit like Life.

 

So now in general it is still a fight i have so much fear Not to heal, i have so much especially the BS sleep and the pgad. But if i look back to the year it is better than month ago and the beginning of the year. 

I dont know if it is allowed to say because tappering correct would be the much better decison but i am Happy every day that i am off of this crap.

 

I hope it will become easier the next days. Would be nice to enjoy Christmas at least a little bit.

 

Longroadhome i hope the virus disappear soon i wish you a get well !!

And i am so Happy for you to become free on Christmas day. Yes there could be no better present for you.  

 

 

Arti 

 

  

[Longroadhome]

13 hours ago, Arti said:

Before that i had round about two weeks when things was much easier. 

This is music to my ears Arti. This my friend is real progress. Proof you are healing. I’m so happy for you. 
Also going to the club and sitting with the regulars as well as biking it over Mount Kilimanjaro!!! Lol

 

You made me Lol with this too, below. I mean really laugh!! 

13 hours ago, Arti said:

Got forbid two women in my Condition 

It’s the first time I’m seeing your sense of humour, and it’s lovely. Simply lovely!! 😊 

to write like this shows a change in you. A lightness I haven’t seen before.

 

You may be back in the thick of it but hold on to your progress because your recovery is drawing closer. Keep going. 

 

Im recovering from the virus, just left with tickly cough. Thank you. 
 

I will also be happy to be off this crap altogether on Christmas Day!! And yes even though some of us tapered, it’s not a guarantee that things will be any easier than if we had CT. Once the CNS has been compromised, there is no certainty. 
 

Hope your Christmas Day is a beautiful window 😊
 

Danke, das du mir hoffnung machst.

[mstimc]

On 12/20/2022 at 8:43 AM, Arti said:

But if i look back to the year it is better than month ago and the beginning of the year. 

I dont know if it is allowed to say because tappering correct would be the much better decison but i am Happy every day that i am off of this crap.

Arti, this is a very positive sign!  You really do have to look at improvement over several months instead of judging your progress from one day to the next.  Your recent posts are so much more positive and hopeful than they were a year ago.  You are recovering!

[Arti]

@Longroadhome

Your message made me smile too.

I have to Thank you ! You gave and give me hope !

 

@mstimc

Thanks for your message! I will try to hold on to the hope that all of this will be over at some point 

 

I think i say goodbye to SA for this year. The next days could be stressfull. 

I wish everyone out there in the SA Universe Merry Christmass and a Happy new year !!!