NeedMoreHope Posted May 14 Author Share Posted May 14 How do we cope? I've been dealing with this for over 6 years and aside from a short time, there's just been no improvement. I need some hope. 20 mg Prozac - 2001-2018 Came off cold turkey in Feb 2018, crashed BAD Over the next year and a half, given one drug after another when nothing would work For sleep given: Ativan 2 mg/Ambien/Lunesta/Gabapentin/Klonipin (none helped) Last combo was to add 5 mg Zyprexa to the 20 mg Prozac - on this for 5 months Finally had enough in July 2019; cold turkeyd off 5 mg Zyprexa, and then weaned down from 20 mg Prozac to 5 mg ; updosed to 5.25 mg 12/12/2020. Updosed to 7.5 1/5/2021 - back to 5 mg 1/10/2021 after bad reaction to updose; added 900 mg gabapendtin for nerve pain (thought to be caused by COVID) 2/2/2021 - hospitalized for COVID complications - put on 1200 gabapentin and added 25 Seroquel for sleep (ugh). Back to Prozac 6 mg. 11/22/2021 - OFF Seroquel. Prozac 8 mg. Gabapentin 800 mg/day. 5/1/2022 - Prozac 7 mg/day; Gabapentin 650 mg/day 11/14/2022 - Prozac 6 mg/day; Gabapentin 400 mg/day 2/20/2023 - Prozac 5 mg/day; Gabapentin 384 mg/day 5/2/2024 - Just wasn't getting better on hold - updosed to 400 gaba/day and 10 mg Prozac/day, but HUGE mistake - on 5/16/2024 returned to 5 mg Prozac (still at 400 gaba/day). Link to comment
Mentor Catina7 Posted May 14 Mentor Share Posted May 14 (edited) I'm so sorry you're having a hard time. It looks like you've been tapering and then updosing two meds at once so it might be difficult to ascertain what's going on. From what I've read it's best to only work with one drug at a time. Also, as the other member advised, taking a drug every other day is not recommended. Your nervous system needs stability. When was the last time you felt somewhat stable? This whole process takes a lot of patience and perseverance, but I'm sure you'll get things figured out in the near future. Hang in there! 🥰 Edited May 14 by Catina7 Disclaimer: This is not professional medical advice but is based on personal experience only. 1994 - 2017: Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Seroquel, Buspar, Lorazepam, Xanax, Ambien 2005-present: Trazodone 50 mg 2017: Effexor XR 37.5 >> 75 mg 2020 (March): Began 10% monthly taper of Effexor XR (got down to 12 mg) 2021 (September): Completely crashed. Went back up to 37.5 mg but I kindled myself 2024 (Avg. bead count per capsule is 111): 1/1: -6 | 2/1: -11 | 3/1: -16 | 4/1: -18 | 5/1: -21 | 6/1 -25 Reasons for starting psych meds: PMDD/Depression, Generalized Anxiety Disorder Other medications: Levothyroxine 75 mcg Supplements: Dr. Berg's Electrolyte Powder on occasion Never give up Holding On with Patience & Endurance Link to comment
Mentor FindRest Posted May 15 Mentor Share Posted May 15 (edited) 9 hours ago, NeedMoreHope said: How do we cope? I've been dealing with this for over 6 years and aside from a short time, there's just been no improvement. I need some hope. Have you been keeping track of your symptoms daily and rating them? This helped me tremendously when I thought I couldn’t make it much longer. Just being able to go back and see that I was in a similar place before and came through it just by holding was a huge motivator and gave me hope. I have over 4 years worth of daily symptoms to look back on to show me things do get better. Our withdrawal mind tends to forget the better days and is prone to going down the rabbit hole quickly. I went back through your thread and strongly encourage you to re-read from about May, 2021 through mid 2023. You were having some “really good” days, sometimes for weeks. As you tapered more than one drug at a time and more than 10%, symptoms got worse. Please re-read the advice from Gridley and the other mods during this time, as the same advice still applies. It appears you ignored their advice in your recent battles. I’m not sure why, but that is your choice. We each make decisions we think are best. But, I encourage you to go back and re-read the valuable tips you have received so far. Write them down and keep them in your notebook of symptoms. Only you can decide what to do next. It’s not up to us and not even up to your doctor. It’s your body, your decision. Listening to the advice of our doctors is what got us into this miserable place to begin with. You’ve got to decide what YOU are willing to do. Sometimes in the thick of things we lose sight of where we’ve been, and subsequently where we’re going. Although you’ve been through a very agonizing 6 years, there were some better times in there as well. Hang on to those better times. Use them as an example of how to move forward. Read back and see what you were doing then vs now. Is there anything you can use from that time to help you push forward? Again re-read the advice from the mods/admin from the past few years. I’m not discounting the horrible struggle you are in. I’ve been on these drugs for 35 years with too many CT’s over the past 20 years to count. Life has been very hard for many years, with the worst of those years being the past 5-6. This process is grueling and so unfair. I’m sorry you know this struggle. I’m here to tell you that you can get through this! You’ve done it before and will do it again. In summary (sorry for the lengthy essay): After getting some good rest, please try to re-read the previous posts I’ve mentioned and write down the better times and how you got there. Then, write down advice you received when things were tough. Keep these in a symptoms notebook where you rate your daily symptoms. I used a daily calendar planner notebook that had a page for each day. I also used the “blank” symptom checklist on this site. Edited May 15 by FindRest 2 1988-1996 Various AD’s, all classifications. 1996-2019 Effexor XR 37.5mg to 150mg. Jan 2017 onward, 37.5 mg. 2019 Apr 11 - July 24: Trials of Latuda then Rexulti. CT'd off per dr. Jul 24: CT Effexor (per dr) Sep 9-19: Viibryd, CT (per dr). Sep 23-27: Trintellix. CT (per dr). Sep 28 - Oct 24: Prozac 10mg. Oct 24: Stop Prozac, began Pristiq 25mg->50->25mg. 2020 Feb 1: CT Pristiq. Feb 1: Reinstated Effexor XR (10 large beads) gradually increasing to 22 beads (15L+7M) or 9.072mgai on Mar, 2020. 2021 Started Jan w 21 beads (13L+8M) or 8.47mgai ended Dec: 17 beads (7L+9M+1S) or 6.19mgai. Severe COVID + TIA. 2022 Ended yr w 14 beads (3L+5M+5S+1XS) or 4.5mgai. Major jaw injury during year + family tragedy. 2023 Jan: 13 beads (2L+5M+5S+1XS) or 4.2mgai; Feb: 12 beads (2L+4M+5S+1XS) or 3.9mgai; Mar: 11 beads (2L+4M+4S+1XS) or 3.6mgai, Apr: 10 beads (2L+3M+4S+1XS) or 3.3mgai; Jun: 9 beads (2L+3M+3S+1XS) or 3mgai, Current: July, 2023: Effexor XR - 9 beads (2L+3M+3S+1XS) or 2.7 mgai Other current meds: Ambien 10mg 3.935mg , clonazepam .125mg .107mg, omeprazole, Synthroid, Premarin. Supplements: D3, C, probiotic, K2-MK7, Mg Glycinate Link to comment
NeedMoreHope Posted May 15 Author Share Posted May 15 Thank you so much. I'm lying here at 2 am in a pool of sweat, heart racing, headache and just saying to myself, "why do I keep doing this"?? I probably got to a breakthrough in my holding and then blew it again by messing with these meds. I see my dr tomorrow and Ill start dialing back. Thank you for helping me have the will to live. I thought the worst was over a few years ago but I was very naive to the power these drugs have. I just need to hang on and not let them take my life. 20 mg Prozac - 2001-2018 Came off cold turkey in Feb 2018, crashed BAD Over the next year and a half, given one drug after another when nothing would work For sleep given: Ativan 2 mg/Ambien/Lunesta/Gabapentin/Klonipin (none helped) Last combo was to add 5 mg Zyprexa to the 20 mg Prozac - on this for 5 months Finally had enough in July 2019; cold turkeyd off 5 mg Zyprexa, and then weaned down from 20 mg Prozac to 5 mg ; updosed to 5.25 mg 12/12/2020. Updosed to 7.5 1/5/2021 - back to 5 mg 1/10/2021 after bad reaction to updose; added 900 mg gabapendtin for nerve pain (thought to be caused by COVID) 2/2/2021 - hospitalized for COVID complications - put on 1200 gabapentin and added 25 Seroquel for sleep (ugh). Back to Prozac 6 mg. 11/22/2021 - OFF Seroquel. Prozac 8 mg. Gabapentin 800 mg/day. 5/1/2022 - Prozac 7 mg/day; Gabapentin 650 mg/day 11/14/2022 - Prozac 6 mg/day; Gabapentin 400 mg/day 2/20/2023 - Prozac 5 mg/day; Gabapentin 384 mg/day 5/2/2024 - Just wasn't getting better on hold - updosed to 400 gaba/day and 10 mg Prozac/day, but HUGE mistake - on 5/16/2024 returned to 5 mg Prozac (still at 400 gaba/day). Link to comment
Mentor FindRest Posted May 15 Mentor Share Posted May 15 Don’t beat your yourself up. The intensity and duration of withdrawals makes us desperate for relief. It also messes with our thinking. Then there’s the added burden knowing our providers are rarely well-informed. All of us who have been through this are very strong. We have a strength few can fathom. Pat yourself on the back and give yourself lots of credit for enduring. 2 1988-1996 Various AD’s, all classifications. 1996-2019 Effexor XR 37.5mg to 150mg. Jan 2017 onward, 37.5 mg. 2019 Apr 11 - July 24: Trials of Latuda then Rexulti. CT'd off per dr. Jul 24: CT Effexor (per dr) Sep 9-19: Viibryd, CT (per dr). Sep 23-27: Trintellix. CT (per dr). Sep 28 - Oct 24: Prozac 10mg. Oct 24: Stop Prozac, began Pristiq 25mg->50->25mg. 2020 Feb 1: CT Pristiq. Feb 1: Reinstated Effexor XR (10 large beads) gradually increasing to 22 beads (15L+7M) or 9.072mgai on Mar, 2020. 2021 Started Jan w 21 beads (13L+8M) or 8.47mgai ended Dec: 17 beads (7L+9M+1S) or 6.19mgai. Severe COVID + TIA. 2022 Ended yr w 14 beads (3L+5M+5S+1XS) or 4.5mgai. Major jaw injury during year + family tragedy. 2023 Jan: 13 beads (2L+5M+5S+1XS) or 4.2mgai; Feb: 12 beads (2L+4M+5S+1XS) or 3.9mgai; Mar: 11 beads (2L+4M+4S+1XS) or 3.6mgai, Apr: 10 beads (2L+3M+4S+1XS) or 3.3mgai; Jun: 9 beads (2L+3M+3S+1XS) or 3mgai, Current: July, 2023: Effexor XR - 9 beads (2L+3M+3S+1XS) or 2.7 mgai Other current meds: Ambien 10mg 3.935mg , clonazepam .125mg .107mg, omeprazole, Synthroid, Premarin. Supplements: D3, C, probiotic, K2-MK7, Mg Glycinate Link to comment
NeedMoreHope Posted May 15 Author Share Posted May 15 I saw my dr again today. Her recommendations were ECT and Ketamine. As if I was not already hopeless...... Can I get better without any more medical intervention!!?? From reading about both of these, it sounds like they will only make my hell more unbearable. 20 mg Prozac - 2001-2018 Came off cold turkey in Feb 2018, crashed BAD Over the next year and a half, given one drug after another when nothing would work For sleep given: Ativan 2 mg/Ambien/Lunesta/Gabapentin/Klonipin (none helped) Last combo was to add 5 mg Zyprexa to the 20 mg Prozac - on this for 5 months Finally had enough in July 2019; cold turkeyd off 5 mg Zyprexa, and then weaned down from 20 mg Prozac to 5 mg ; updosed to 5.25 mg 12/12/2020. Updosed to 7.5 1/5/2021 - back to 5 mg 1/10/2021 after bad reaction to updose; added 900 mg gabapendtin for nerve pain (thought to be caused by COVID) 2/2/2021 - hospitalized for COVID complications - put on 1200 gabapentin and added 25 Seroquel for sleep (ugh). Back to Prozac 6 mg. 11/22/2021 - OFF Seroquel. Prozac 8 mg. Gabapentin 800 mg/day. 5/1/2022 - Prozac 7 mg/day; Gabapentin 650 mg/day 11/14/2022 - Prozac 6 mg/day; Gabapentin 400 mg/day 2/20/2023 - Prozac 5 mg/day; Gabapentin 384 mg/day 5/2/2024 - Just wasn't getting better on hold - updosed to 400 gaba/day and 10 mg Prozac/day, but HUGE mistake - on 5/16/2024 returned to 5 mg Prozac (still at 400 gaba/day). Link to comment
Mentor Catina7 Posted May 16 Mentor Share Posted May 16 6 hours ago, NeedMoreHope said: Can I get better without any more medical intervention!!?? Yes! Sometimes the more we do regarding trying to "fix" things, the worse off we are. It's no wonder we're advised to keep things Slow, Simple, and Stable. Disclaimer: This is not professional medical advice but is based on personal experience only. 1994 - 2017: Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Seroquel, Buspar, Lorazepam, Xanax, Ambien 2005-present: Trazodone 50 mg 2017: Effexor XR 37.5 >> 75 mg 2020 (March): Began 10% monthly taper of Effexor XR (got down to 12 mg) 2021 (September): Completely crashed. Went back up to 37.5 mg but I kindled myself 2024 (Avg. bead count per capsule is 111): 1/1: -6 | 2/1: -11 | 3/1: -16 | 4/1: -18 | 5/1: -21 | 6/1 -25 Reasons for starting psych meds: PMDD/Depression, Generalized Anxiety Disorder Other medications: Levothyroxine 75 mcg Supplements: Dr. Berg's Electrolyte Powder on occasion Never give up Holding On with Patience & Endurance Link to comment
Mentor FindRest Posted May 16 Mentor Share Posted May 16 (edited) Sounds to me like you need a new doctor. I know that’s difficult to entertain when you feel so bad, but your dr isn’t listening to you. She also needs to further her education, IMO. 7 hours ago, NeedMoreHope said: Her recommendations were ECT and Ketamine Standard response after they mess us up. Both are terrible options, IMO. I was offered both too after they CT’d me and destabilized me only to then diagnose me as “treatment resistant”. I would never let them give me ECT or TMS. Some of the adverse consequences are permanent. Plus, studies do not support their supposed effectiveness. Ketamine is known to cause dependence and any “improvement” seems to be short-lived and has ppl craving for the next dose. Some people also have terrible “trips”. Withdrawal from ketamine is reportedly nasty as well. 7 hours ago, NeedMoreHope said: Can I get better without any more medical intervention!!?? Most of us here taper on our own and use our doctors to supply the medication. We’ve had to take our fate into our own hands. My new doctor now understands tapering, but in the beginning, I had to just attend my appointments so that I could get my refill. I didn’t mention the “s” word and didn’t complain about all of my symptoms. I gave them bare minimum info, insuring they continue my dose without hospitalization and without feeling the need to change medications. When suicidal, I reached out to my therapist and a few trusted friends I knew would support me without committing me. Where is your current “medical intervention” getting you now? Do you think ECT or ketamine will remove your withdrawal symptoms? You already know the anecdotal evidence of what works and what doesn’t. Until science, pharmaceutical companies, FDA, etc, begin to do actual long-term studies on these drugs and treatments for discontinuing them, anecdotal evidence is our best bet along with the few studies by Healy and others. I think you have the information you need to make a decision on what direction to go. SA can help you taper. We cannot help you go through those other treatments as this is a site for getting off the medication. Only you can make the decision of what you want to do next. We all have our opinions but yours is the only one that matters. No judgement from me. If you decide to go another route other than stabilizing then tapering, perhaps you can come back here when/if that time comes. Unfortunately, we are unable to help you add other treatments or support you during that process. We just aren’t equipped for that. You’ll have to rely on your medical provider or other support groups. Again, I’m sorry you’re going through this. Have you had time to re-read your thread and take notes? Edited May 16 by FindRest 1988-1996 Various AD’s, all classifications. 1996-2019 Effexor XR 37.5mg to 150mg. Jan 2017 onward, 37.5 mg. 2019 Apr 11 - July 24: Trials of Latuda then Rexulti. CT'd off per dr. Jul 24: CT Effexor (per dr) Sep 9-19: Viibryd, CT (per dr). Sep 23-27: Trintellix. CT (per dr). Sep 28 - Oct 24: Prozac 10mg. Oct 24: Stop Prozac, began Pristiq 25mg->50->25mg. 2020 Feb 1: CT Pristiq. Feb 1: Reinstated Effexor XR (10 large beads) gradually increasing to 22 beads (15L+7M) or 9.072mgai on Mar, 2020. 2021 Started Jan w 21 beads (13L+8M) or 8.47mgai ended Dec: 17 beads (7L+9M+1S) or 6.19mgai. Severe COVID + TIA. 2022 Ended yr w 14 beads (3L+5M+5S+1XS) or 4.5mgai. Major jaw injury during year + family tragedy. 2023 Jan: 13 beads (2L+5M+5S+1XS) or 4.2mgai; Feb: 12 beads (2L+4M+5S+1XS) or 3.9mgai; Mar: 11 beads (2L+4M+4S+1XS) or 3.6mgai, Apr: 10 beads (2L+3M+4S+1XS) or 3.3mgai; Jun: 9 beads (2L+3M+3S+1XS) or 3mgai, Current: July, 2023: Effexor XR - 9 beads (2L+3M+3S+1XS) or 2.7 mgai Other current meds: Ambien 10mg 3.935mg , clonazepam .125mg .107mg, omeprazole, Synthroid, Premarin. Supplements: D3, C, probiotic, K2-MK7, Mg Glycinate Link to comment
NeedMoreHope Posted May 16 Author Share Posted May 16 I have no intention of doing either of those treatments...I like what you say about just utilizing them to get the prescriptions. I am up again for the 4th night in a row, my heart is racing, Im sweating and crying and I know I need to get back to the dose of prozac I was on 3 weeks ago before I screwed all this up. I just want to he done with all this, but I know it has to be slow and steady, as painful as that might be..but it will be more painful if I keep letting the medical community get involved... thank you all for your help getting me over this bump...I want to be free again. 20 mg Prozac - 2001-2018 Came off cold turkey in Feb 2018, crashed BAD Over the next year and a half, given one drug after another when nothing would work For sleep given: Ativan 2 mg/Ambien/Lunesta/Gabapentin/Klonipin (none helped) Last combo was to add 5 mg Zyprexa to the 20 mg Prozac - on this for 5 months Finally had enough in July 2019; cold turkeyd off 5 mg Zyprexa, and then weaned down from 20 mg Prozac to 5 mg ; updosed to 5.25 mg 12/12/2020. Updosed to 7.5 1/5/2021 - back to 5 mg 1/10/2021 after bad reaction to updose; added 900 mg gabapendtin for nerve pain (thought to be caused by COVID) 2/2/2021 - hospitalized for COVID complications - put on 1200 gabapentin and added 25 Seroquel for sleep (ugh). Back to Prozac 6 mg. 11/22/2021 - OFF Seroquel. Prozac 8 mg. Gabapentin 800 mg/day. 5/1/2022 - Prozac 7 mg/day; Gabapentin 650 mg/day 11/14/2022 - Prozac 6 mg/day; Gabapentin 400 mg/day 2/20/2023 - Prozac 5 mg/day; Gabapentin 384 mg/day 5/2/2024 - Just wasn't getting better on hold - updosed to 400 gaba/day and 10 mg Prozac/day, but HUGE mistake - on 5/16/2024 returned to 5 mg Prozac (still at 400 gaba/day). Link to comment
Mentor FindRest Posted May 16 Mentor Share Posted May 16 (edited) What dose are you on currently? Could you update your signature with your most recent changes? Hang in there. You WILL get through this! Edited May 16 by FindRest 1988-1996 Various AD’s, all classifications. 1996-2019 Effexor XR 37.5mg to 150mg. Jan 2017 onward, 37.5 mg. 2019 Apr 11 - July 24: Trials of Latuda then Rexulti. CT'd off per dr. Jul 24: CT Effexor (per dr) Sep 9-19: Viibryd, CT (per dr). Sep 23-27: Trintellix. CT (per dr). Sep 28 - Oct 24: Prozac 10mg. Oct 24: Stop Prozac, began Pristiq 25mg->50->25mg. 2020 Feb 1: CT Pristiq. Feb 1: Reinstated Effexor XR (10 large beads) gradually increasing to 22 beads (15L+7M) or 9.072mgai on Mar, 2020. 2021 Started Jan w 21 beads (13L+8M) or 8.47mgai ended Dec: 17 beads (7L+9M+1S) or 6.19mgai. Severe COVID + TIA. 2022 Ended yr w 14 beads (3L+5M+5S+1XS) or 4.5mgai. Major jaw injury during year + family tragedy. 2023 Jan: 13 beads (2L+5M+5S+1XS) or 4.2mgai; Feb: 12 beads (2L+4M+5S+1XS) or 3.9mgai; Mar: 11 beads (2L+4M+4S+1XS) or 3.6mgai, Apr: 10 beads (2L+3M+4S+1XS) or 3.3mgai; Jun: 9 beads (2L+3M+3S+1XS) or 3mgai, Current: July, 2023: Effexor XR - 9 beads (2L+3M+3S+1XS) or 2.7 mgai Other current meds: Ambien 10mg 3.935mg , clonazepam .125mg .107mg, omeprazole, Synthroid, Premarin. Supplements: D3, C, probiotic, K2-MK7, Mg Glycinate Link to comment
NeedMoreHope Posted May 16 Author Share Posted May 16 So I went back to the 5 mg of Prozac today (still holding the 400 gaba). I am so sick - vomiting, tremors, heart racing, sweating... is it possible to get Serotonin Syndrome from just going up from 5 to 10mg? I didn't think this would hit so soon with Prozac's half life, but maybe all the up/down the last few weeks have taken their toll on me. These are nothing to mess with for sure... 20 mg Prozac - 2001-2018 Came off cold turkey in Feb 2018, crashed BAD Over the next year and a half, given one drug after another when nothing would work For sleep given: Ativan 2 mg/Ambien/Lunesta/Gabapentin/Klonipin (none helped) Last combo was to add 5 mg Zyprexa to the 20 mg Prozac - on this for 5 months Finally had enough in July 2019; cold turkeyd off 5 mg Zyprexa, and then weaned down from 20 mg Prozac to 5 mg ; updosed to 5.25 mg 12/12/2020. Updosed to 7.5 1/5/2021 - back to 5 mg 1/10/2021 after bad reaction to updose; added 900 mg gabapendtin for nerve pain (thought to be caused by COVID) 2/2/2021 - hospitalized for COVID complications - put on 1200 gabapentin and added 25 Seroquel for sleep (ugh). Back to Prozac 6 mg. 11/22/2021 - OFF Seroquel. Prozac 8 mg. Gabapentin 800 mg/day. 5/1/2022 - Prozac 7 mg/day; Gabapentin 650 mg/day 11/14/2022 - Prozac 6 mg/day; Gabapentin 400 mg/day 2/20/2023 - Prozac 5 mg/day; Gabapentin 384 mg/day 5/2/2024 - Just wasn't getting better on hold - updosed to 400 gaba/day and 10 mg Prozac/day, but HUGE mistake - on 5/16/2024 returned to 5 mg Prozac (still at 400 gaba/day). Link to comment
Mentor FindRest Posted May 17 Mentor Share Posted May 17 9 hours ago, NeedMoreHope said: is it possible to get Serotonin Syndrome from just going up from 5 to 10mg? That would be very unlikely. Did you go from 10mg directly back to 5mg? Please update your signature with all of your recent changes. It’s important for us to see that information so we don’t have to hunt for the information in your thread. 1988-1996 Various AD’s, all classifications. 1996-2019 Effexor XR 37.5mg to 150mg. Jan 2017 onward, 37.5 mg. 2019 Apr 11 - July 24: Trials of Latuda then Rexulti. CT'd off per dr. Jul 24: CT Effexor (per dr) Sep 9-19: Viibryd, CT (per dr). Sep 23-27: Trintellix. CT (per dr). Sep 28 - Oct 24: Prozac 10mg. Oct 24: Stop Prozac, began Pristiq 25mg->50->25mg. 2020 Feb 1: CT Pristiq. Feb 1: Reinstated Effexor XR (10 large beads) gradually increasing to 22 beads (15L+7M) or 9.072mgai on Mar, 2020. 2021 Started Jan w 21 beads (13L+8M) or 8.47mgai ended Dec: 17 beads (7L+9M+1S) or 6.19mgai. Severe COVID + TIA. 2022 Ended yr w 14 beads (3L+5M+5S+1XS) or 4.5mgai. Major jaw injury during year + family tragedy. 2023 Jan: 13 beads (2L+5M+5S+1XS) or 4.2mgai; Feb: 12 beads (2L+4M+5S+1XS) or 3.9mgai; Mar: 11 beads (2L+4M+4S+1XS) or 3.6mgai, Apr: 10 beads (2L+3M+4S+1XS) or 3.3mgai; Jun: 9 beads (2L+3M+3S+1XS) or 3mgai, Current: July, 2023: Effexor XR - 9 beads (2L+3M+3S+1XS) or 2.7 mgai Other current meds: Ambien 10mg 3.935mg , clonazepam .125mg .107mg, omeprazole, Synthroid, Premarin. Supplements: D3, C, probiotic, K2-MK7, Mg Glycinate Link to comment
NeedMoreHope Posted May 17 Author Share Posted May 17 Yes, I just went back to 5 mg. Hoping I wasn't on the 10 too long for that to be a problem. My signature is updated now. I had a better night..got some sleep and the sweating was better. Hoping these changes wont set me back too much. 1 20 mg Prozac - 2001-2018 Came off cold turkey in Feb 2018, crashed BAD Over the next year and a half, given one drug after another when nothing would work For sleep given: Ativan 2 mg/Ambien/Lunesta/Gabapentin/Klonipin (none helped) Last combo was to add 5 mg Zyprexa to the 20 mg Prozac - on this for 5 months Finally had enough in July 2019; cold turkeyd off 5 mg Zyprexa, and then weaned down from 20 mg Prozac to 5 mg ; updosed to 5.25 mg 12/12/2020. Updosed to 7.5 1/5/2021 - back to 5 mg 1/10/2021 after bad reaction to updose; added 900 mg gabapendtin for nerve pain (thought to be caused by COVID) 2/2/2021 - hospitalized for COVID complications - put on 1200 gabapentin and added 25 Seroquel for sleep (ugh). Back to Prozac 6 mg. 11/22/2021 - OFF Seroquel. Prozac 8 mg. Gabapentin 800 mg/day. 5/1/2022 - Prozac 7 mg/day; Gabapentin 650 mg/day 11/14/2022 - Prozac 6 mg/day; Gabapentin 400 mg/day 2/20/2023 - Prozac 5 mg/day; Gabapentin 384 mg/day 5/2/2024 - Just wasn't getting better on hold - updosed to 400 gaba/day and 10 mg Prozac/day, but HUGE mistake - on 5/16/2024 returned to 5 mg Prozac (still at 400 gaba/day). Link to comment
Mentor FindRest Posted May 17 Mentor Share Posted May 17 Those are great signs!!! I think it was OK to reduce that amount since you hadn’t been at 1mg for long. 1988-1996 Various AD’s, all classifications. 1996-2019 Effexor XR 37.5mg to 150mg. Jan 2017 onward, 37.5 mg. 2019 Apr 11 - July 24: Trials of Latuda then Rexulti. CT'd off per dr. Jul 24: CT Effexor (per dr) Sep 9-19: Viibryd, CT (per dr). Sep 23-27: Trintellix. CT (per dr). Sep 28 - Oct 24: Prozac 10mg. Oct 24: Stop Prozac, began Pristiq 25mg->50->25mg. 2020 Feb 1: CT Pristiq. Feb 1: Reinstated Effexor XR (10 large beads) gradually increasing to 22 beads (15L+7M) or 9.072mgai on Mar, 2020. 2021 Started Jan w 21 beads (13L+8M) or 8.47mgai ended Dec: 17 beads (7L+9M+1S) or 6.19mgai. Severe COVID + TIA. 2022 Ended yr w 14 beads (3L+5M+5S+1XS) or 4.5mgai. Major jaw injury during year + family tragedy. 2023 Jan: 13 beads (2L+5M+5S+1XS) or 4.2mgai; Feb: 12 beads (2L+4M+5S+1XS) or 3.9mgai; Mar: 11 beads (2L+4M+4S+1XS) or 3.6mgai, Apr: 10 beads (2L+3M+4S+1XS) or 3.3mgai; Jun: 9 beads (2L+3M+3S+1XS) or 3mgai, Current: July, 2023: Effexor XR - 9 beads (2L+3M+3S+1XS) or 2.7 mgai Other current meds: Ambien 10mg 3.935mg , clonazepam .125mg .107mg, omeprazole, Synthroid, Premarin. Supplements: D3, C, probiotic, K2-MK7, Mg Glycinate Link to comment
NeedMoreHope Posted May 20 Author Share Posted May 20 I am on day 5 of the decrease back to 5 mg. I'm struggling bad...feel like I'm going insane and had panic attacks last night with sweating. I hope I stabilize soon. I had no idea going from 10 mg for a few days back to 5 mg could cause all this. Have I screwed myself? Did I permanently damage my brain? 20 mg Prozac - 2001-2018 Came off cold turkey in Feb 2018, crashed BAD Over the next year and a half, given one drug after another when nothing would work For sleep given: Ativan 2 mg/Ambien/Lunesta/Gabapentin/Klonipin (none helped) Last combo was to add 5 mg Zyprexa to the 20 mg Prozac - on this for 5 months Finally had enough in July 2019; cold turkeyd off 5 mg Zyprexa, and then weaned down from 20 mg Prozac to 5 mg ; updosed to 5.25 mg 12/12/2020. Updosed to 7.5 1/5/2021 - back to 5 mg 1/10/2021 after bad reaction to updose; added 900 mg gabapendtin for nerve pain (thought to be caused by COVID) 2/2/2021 - hospitalized for COVID complications - put on 1200 gabapentin and added 25 Seroquel for sleep (ugh). Back to Prozac 6 mg. 11/22/2021 - OFF Seroquel. Prozac 8 mg. Gabapentin 800 mg/day. 5/1/2022 - Prozac 7 mg/day; Gabapentin 650 mg/day 11/14/2022 - Prozac 6 mg/day; Gabapentin 400 mg/day 2/20/2023 - Prozac 5 mg/day; Gabapentin 384 mg/day 5/2/2024 - Just wasn't getting better on hold - updosed to 400 gaba/day and 10 mg Prozac/day, but HUGE mistake - on 5/16/2024 returned to 5 mg Prozac (still at 400 gaba/day). Link to comment
Mentor FindRest Posted May 20 Mentor Share Posted May 20 (edited) Are you feeling worse than at 10mg? Please keep a timeline of when you take your medication, eat, exercise, and what specific symptoms you are having throughout the day and the time you are having them and post them here. Look at my thread to see an example of how to do this. You are only on day 5. It takes much longer than that to stabilize. Have your current symptoms been this bad all 5 days? Are any symptoms better? Which ones? Edited May 20 by FindRest 1988-1996 Various AD’s, all classifications. 1996-2019 Effexor XR 37.5mg to 150mg. Jan 2017 onward, 37.5 mg. 2019 Apr 11 - July 24: Trials of Latuda then Rexulti. CT'd off per dr. Jul 24: CT Effexor (per dr) Sep 9-19: Viibryd, CT (per dr). Sep 23-27: Trintellix. CT (per dr). Sep 28 - Oct 24: Prozac 10mg. Oct 24: Stop Prozac, began Pristiq 25mg->50->25mg. 2020 Feb 1: CT Pristiq. Feb 1: Reinstated Effexor XR (10 large beads) gradually increasing to 22 beads (15L+7M) or 9.072mgai on Mar, 2020. 2021 Started Jan w 21 beads (13L+8M) or 8.47mgai ended Dec: 17 beads (7L+9M+1S) or 6.19mgai. Severe COVID + TIA. 2022 Ended yr w 14 beads (3L+5M+5S+1XS) or 4.5mgai. Major jaw injury during year + family tragedy. 2023 Jan: 13 beads (2L+5M+5S+1XS) or 4.2mgai; Feb: 12 beads (2L+4M+5S+1XS) or 3.9mgai; Mar: 11 beads (2L+4M+4S+1XS) or 3.6mgai, Apr: 10 beads (2L+3M+4S+1XS) or 3.3mgai; Jun: 9 beads (2L+3M+3S+1XS) or 3mgai, Current: July, 2023: Effexor XR - 9 beads (2L+3M+3S+1XS) or 2.7 mgai Other current meds: Ambien 10mg 3.935mg , clonazepam .125mg .107mg, omeprazole, Synthroid, Premarin. Supplements: D3, C, probiotic, K2-MK7, Mg Glycinate Link to comment
NeedMoreHope Posted May 20 Author Share Posted May 20 I take the Prozac in the morning when I eat breakfast. I don't feel worse than when I was on 10, but just feel weird and different.. Symptoms that are better after coming down to 5 mg: -sleep -akathisia -tremors, muscle aches, and nausea gone Symptoms that are worse: -"feel crazy" - like I'm going insane -Agitated - intense boredom, but yet can't do anything -muscles/brain just feel "frozen" -constant crying I'm not able to do much during the day. I just sit and rock and cry at this point. I feel so hopeless and I know more is yet to come as far as symptoms and adjustment. I dread it. 1 20 mg Prozac - 2001-2018 Came off cold turkey in Feb 2018, crashed BAD Over the next year and a half, given one drug after another when nothing would work For sleep given: Ativan 2 mg/Ambien/Lunesta/Gabapentin/Klonipin (none helped) Last combo was to add 5 mg Zyprexa to the 20 mg Prozac - on this for 5 months Finally had enough in July 2019; cold turkeyd off 5 mg Zyprexa, and then weaned down from 20 mg Prozac to 5 mg ; updosed to 5.25 mg 12/12/2020. Updosed to 7.5 1/5/2021 - back to 5 mg 1/10/2021 after bad reaction to updose; added 900 mg gabapendtin for nerve pain (thought to be caused by COVID) 2/2/2021 - hospitalized for COVID complications - put on 1200 gabapentin and added 25 Seroquel for sleep (ugh). Back to Prozac 6 mg. 11/22/2021 - OFF Seroquel. Prozac 8 mg. Gabapentin 800 mg/day. 5/1/2022 - Prozac 7 mg/day; Gabapentin 650 mg/day 11/14/2022 - Prozac 6 mg/day; Gabapentin 400 mg/day 2/20/2023 - Prozac 5 mg/day; Gabapentin 384 mg/day 5/2/2024 - Just wasn't getting better on hold - updosed to 400 gaba/day and 10 mg Prozac/day, but HUGE mistake - on 5/16/2024 returned to 5 mg Prozac (still at 400 gaba/day). Link to comment
NeedMoreHope Posted May 20 Author Share Posted May 20 I was looking back through my history. My BEST times were when I was on Prozac 6 mg, and Gaba 400. It's when I went down to 5 mg and 384 gaba that all hell broke loose again. Should I try to stabilize on 6 mg? I'm back on 400 gaba at present as well. Just trying to figure out why I got so bad again last year. 20 mg Prozac - 2001-2018 Came off cold turkey in Feb 2018, crashed BAD Over the next year and a half, given one drug after another when nothing would work For sleep given: Ativan 2 mg/Ambien/Lunesta/Gabapentin/Klonipin (none helped) Last combo was to add 5 mg Zyprexa to the 20 mg Prozac - on this for 5 months Finally had enough in July 2019; cold turkeyd off 5 mg Zyprexa, and then weaned down from 20 mg Prozac to 5 mg ; updosed to 5.25 mg 12/12/2020. Updosed to 7.5 1/5/2021 - back to 5 mg 1/10/2021 after bad reaction to updose; added 900 mg gabapendtin for nerve pain (thought to be caused by COVID) 2/2/2021 - hospitalized for COVID complications - put on 1200 gabapentin and added 25 Seroquel for sleep (ugh). Back to Prozac 6 mg. 11/22/2021 - OFF Seroquel. Prozac 8 mg. Gabapentin 800 mg/day. 5/1/2022 - Prozac 7 mg/day; Gabapentin 650 mg/day 11/14/2022 - Prozac 6 mg/day; Gabapentin 400 mg/day 2/20/2023 - Prozac 5 mg/day; Gabapentin 384 mg/day 5/2/2024 - Just wasn't getting better on hold - updosed to 400 gaba/day and 10 mg Prozac/day, but HUGE mistake - on 5/16/2024 returned to 5 mg Prozac (still at 400 gaba/day). Link to comment
Mentor FindRest Posted May 21 Mentor Share Posted May 21 19 hours ago, NeedMoreHope said: Symptoms that are better after coming down to 5 mg: -sleep -akathisia -tremors, muscle aches, and nausea gone Symptoms that are worse: -"feel crazy" - like I'm going insane -Agitated - intense boredom, but yet can't do anything -muscles/brain just feel "frozen" -constant crying These are actually a good sign that things are working. Now, it’s a matter of not making any more changes and letting your body stabilize. 17 hours ago, NeedMoreHope said: My BEST times were when I was on Prozac 6 mg, and Gaba 400. It's when I went down to 5 mg and 384 gaba that all hell broke loose again. Should I try to stabilize on 6 mg? Since you’ve changed doses several time since then and became destabilized, it’s highly doubtful that going back to 6mg would get you back to feeling like you did back then. Of course it’s all up to you, but I’d stay at 5mg and not do anything with your dose for at least 3-6 months and only if most all of your symptoms have gone away and been away for at least a month. 1988-1996 Various AD’s, all classifications. 1996-2019 Effexor XR 37.5mg to 150mg. Jan 2017 onward, 37.5 mg. 2019 Apr 11 - July 24: Trials of Latuda then Rexulti. CT'd off per dr. Jul 24: CT Effexor (per dr) Sep 9-19: Viibryd, CT (per dr). Sep 23-27: Trintellix. CT (per dr). Sep 28 - Oct 24: Prozac 10mg. Oct 24: Stop Prozac, began Pristiq 25mg->50->25mg. 2020 Feb 1: CT Pristiq. Feb 1: Reinstated Effexor XR (10 large beads) gradually increasing to 22 beads (15L+7M) or 9.072mgai on Mar, 2020. 2021 Started Jan w 21 beads (13L+8M) or 8.47mgai ended Dec: 17 beads (7L+9M+1S) or 6.19mgai. Severe COVID + TIA. 2022 Ended yr w 14 beads (3L+5M+5S+1XS) or 4.5mgai. Major jaw injury during year + family tragedy. 2023 Jan: 13 beads (2L+5M+5S+1XS) or 4.2mgai; Feb: 12 beads (2L+4M+5S+1XS) or 3.9mgai; Mar: 11 beads (2L+4M+4S+1XS) or 3.6mgai, Apr: 10 beads (2L+3M+4S+1XS) or 3.3mgai; Jun: 9 beads (2L+3M+3S+1XS) or 3mgai, Current: July, 2023: Effexor XR - 9 beads (2L+3M+3S+1XS) or 2.7 mgai Other current meds: Ambien 10mg 3.935mg , clonazepam .125mg .107mg, omeprazole, Synthroid, Premarin. Supplements: D3, C, probiotic, K2-MK7, Mg Glycinate Link to comment
NeedMoreHope Posted May 21 Author Share Posted May 21 Ok. Thanks. I will maintain on the current path. 20 mg Prozac - 2001-2018 Came off cold turkey in Feb 2018, crashed BAD Over the next year and a half, given one drug after another when nothing would work For sleep given: Ativan 2 mg/Ambien/Lunesta/Gabapentin/Klonipin (none helped) Last combo was to add 5 mg Zyprexa to the 20 mg Prozac - on this for 5 months Finally had enough in July 2019; cold turkeyd off 5 mg Zyprexa, and then weaned down from 20 mg Prozac to 5 mg ; updosed to 5.25 mg 12/12/2020. Updosed to 7.5 1/5/2021 - back to 5 mg 1/10/2021 after bad reaction to updose; added 900 mg gabapendtin for nerve pain (thought to be caused by COVID) 2/2/2021 - hospitalized for COVID complications - put on 1200 gabapentin and added 25 Seroquel for sleep (ugh). Back to Prozac 6 mg. 11/22/2021 - OFF Seroquel. Prozac 8 mg. Gabapentin 800 mg/day. 5/1/2022 - Prozac 7 mg/day; Gabapentin 650 mg/day 11/14/2022 - Prozac 6 mg/day; Gabapentin 400 mg/day 2/20/2023 - Prozac 5 mg/day; Gabapentin 384 mg/day 5/2/2024 - Just wasn't getting better on hold - updosed to 400 gaba/day and 10 mg Prozac/day, but HUGE mistake - on 5/16/2024 returned to 5 mg Prozac (still at 400 gaba/day). Link to comment
NeedMoreHope Posted May 24 Author Share Posted May 24 One more question...I am REALLY feeling the drop down from the temporary 10 mg back to 5 mg of Prozac. A lot of vomiting, and now the dark depression has returned as well. I've been staying on the capsules that were started a few weeks ago, but wondering if it would be ok to return back to the liquid form that I was on for the last few years? I guess I answered my own question in the last few weeks as to if the liquid was the problem...obviously it wasn't and this is still withdrawal issues. Would this be too much change? I am leery that I am getting the right dosage with the water method/capsules (and the liquid is easier to measure). Thoughts? 20 mg Prozac - 2001-2018 Came off cold turkey in Feb 2018, crashed BAD Over the next year and a half, given one drug after another when nothing would work For sleep given: Ativan 2 mg/Ambien/Lunesta/Gabapentin/Klonipin (none helped) Last combo was to add 5 mg Zyprexa to the 20 mg Prozac - on this for 5 months Finally had enough in July 2019; cold turkeyd off 5 mg Zyprexa, and then weaned down from 20 mg Prozac to 5 mg ; updosed to 5.25 mg 12/12/2020. Updosed to 7.5 1/5/2021 - back to 5 mg 1/10/2021 after bad reaction to updose; added 900 mg gabapendtin for nerve pain (thought to be caused by COVID) 2/2/2021 - hospitalized for COVID complications - put on 1200 gabapentin and added 25 Seroquel for sleep (ugh). Back to Prozac 6 mg. 11/22/2021 - OFF Seroquel. Prozac 8 mg. Gabapentin 800 mg/day. 5/1/2022 - Prozac 7 mg/day; Gabapentin 650 mg/day 11/14/2022 - Prozac 6 mg/day; Gabapentin 400 mg/day 2/20/2023 - Prozac 5 mg/day; Gabapentin 384 mg/day 5/2/2024 - Just wasn't getting better on hold - updosed to 400 gaba/day and 10 mg Prozac/day, but HUGE mistake - on 5/16/2024 returned to 5 mg Prozac (still at 400 gaba/day). Link to comment
Mentor FindRest Posted May 24 Mentor Share Posted May 24 (edited) I say do whichever method you’d be more apt to sticking with. But know that any change (including changing brands) will cause its own problems for a bit. Obviously, the liquid you were using before will not have the same amount of active ingredient in it as the one you are using now. That would be impossible for them to match perfectly. So, if you switch back, don’t change your dose any and know that you will most likely have an increase in symptoms for awhile until your body adjusts. Edited May 24 by FindRest 1988-1996 Various AD’s, all classifications. 1996-2019 Effexor XR 37.5mg to 150mg. Jan 2017 onward, 37.5 mg. 2019 Apr 11 - July 24: Trials of Latuda then Rexulti. CT'd off per dr. Jul 24: CT Effexor (per dr) Sep 9-19: Viibryd, CT (per dr). Sep 23-27: Trintellix. CT (per dr). Sep 28 - Oct 24: Prozac 10mg. Oct 24: Stop Prozac, began Pristiq 25mg->50->25mg. 2020 Feb 1: CT Pristiq. Feb 1: Reinstated Effexor XR (10 large beads) gradually increasing to 22 beads (15L+7M) or 9.072mgai on Mar, 2020. 2021 Started Jan w 21 beads (13L+8M) or 8.47mgai ended Dec: 17 beads (7L+9M+1S) or 6.19mgai. Severe COVID + TIA. 2022 Ended yr w 14 beads (3L+5M+5S+1XS) or 4.5mgai. Major jaw injury during year + family tragedy. 2023 Jan: 13 beads (2L+5M+5S+1XS) or 4.2mgai; Feb: 12 beads (2L+4M+5S+1XS) or 3.9mgai; Mar: 11 beads (2L+4M+4S+1XS) or 3.6mgai, Apr: 10 beads (2L+3M+4S+1XS) or 3.3mgai; Jun: 9 beads (2L+3M+3S+1XS) or 3mgai, Current: July, 2023: Effexor XR - 9 beads (2L+3M+3S+1XS) or 2.7 mgai Other current meds: Ambien 10mg 3.935mg , clonazepam .125mg .107mg, omeprazole, Synthroid, Premarin. Supplements: D3, C, probiotic, K2-MK7, Mg Glycinate Link to comment
NeedMoreHope Posted May 24 Author Share Posted May 24 Ok. Thanks. I may go back to the liquid as it's just easier to dispense (and will be easier to taper later). I've made so many changes here recently and I'm struggling, so this will be it for a long while. Thank you for your help. 20 mg Prozac - 2001-2018 Came off cold turkey in Feb 2018, crashed BAD Over the next year and a half, given one drug after another when nothing would work For sleep given: Ativan 2 mg/Ambien/Lunesta/Gabapentin/Klonipin (none helped) Last combo was to add 5 mg Zyprexa to the 20 mg Prozac - on this for 5 months Finally had enough in July 2019; cold turkeyd off 5 mg Zyprexa, and then weaned down from 20 mg Prozac to 5 mg ; updosed to 5.25 mg 12/12/2020. Updosed to 7.5 1/5/2021 - back to 5 mg 1/10/2021 after bad reaction to updose; added 900 mg gabapendtin for nerve pain (thought to be caused by COVID) 2/2/2021 - hospitalized for COVID complications - put on 1200 gabapentin and added 25 Seroquel for sleep (ugh). Back to Prozac 6 mg. 11/22/2021 - OFF Seroquel. Prozac 8 mg. Gabapentin 800 mg/day. 5/1/2022 - Prozac 7 mg/day; Gabapentin 650 mg/day 11/14/2022 - Prozac 6 mg/day; Gabapentin 400 mg/day 2/20/2023 - Prozac 5 mg/day; Gabapentin 384 mg/day 5/2/2024 - Just wasn't getting better on hold - updosed to 400 gaba/day and 10 mg Prozac/day, but HUGE mistake - on 5/16/2024 returned to 5 mg Prozac (still at 400 gaba/day). Link to comment
NeedMoreHope Posted May 30 Author Share Posted May 30 So today was day 6 of switching back over to the liquid and day 16 of switching back to the 5 mg of prozac. I am struggling bad with deep depression and akathisia - both came back with a vengeance. I didn't sleep at all last night and my mental state is in a very bad place. Please, can anyone offer me hope? I know if I go back to the hospital it is over for me. 20 mg Prozac - 2001-2018 Came off cold turkey in Feb 2018, crashed BAD Over the next year and a half, given one drug after another when nothing would work For sleep given: Ativan 2 mg/Ambien/Lunesta/Gabapentin/Klonipin (none helped) Last combo was to add 5 mg Zyprexa to the 20 mg Prozac - on this for 5 months Finally had enough in July 2019; cold turkeyd off 5 mg Zyprexa, and then weaned down from 20 mg Prozac to 5 mg ; updosed to 5.25 mg 12/12/2020. Updosed to 7.5 1/5/2021 - back to 5 mg 1/10/2021 after bad reaction to updose; added 900 mg gabapendtin for nerve pain (thought to be caused by COVID) 2/2/2021 - hospitalized for COVID complications - put on 1200 gabapentin and added 25 Seroquel for sleep (ugh). Back to Prozac 6 mg. 11/22/2021 - OFF Seroquel. Prozac 8 mg. Gabapentin 800 mg/day. 5/1/2022 - Prozac 7 mg/day; Gabapentin 650 mg/day 11/14/2022 - Prozac 6 mg/day; Gabapentin 400 mg/day 2/20/2023 - Prozac 5 mg/day; Gabapentin 384 mg/day 5/2/2024 - Just wasn't getting better on hold - updosed to 400 gaba/day and 10 mg Prozac/day, but HUGE mistake - on 5/16/2024 returned to 5 mg Prozac (still at 400 gaba/day). Link to comment
pinkfairy Posted May 30 Share Posted May 30 1 hour ago, NeedMoreHope said: So today was day 6 of switching back over to the liquid and day 16 of switching back to the 5 mg of prozac. I am struggling bad with deep depression and akathisia - both came back with a vengeance. I didn't sleep at all last night and my mental state is in a very bad place. Please, can anyone offer me hope? I know if I go back to the hospital it is over for me. I just want to say I am so sorry you are struggling like this and I want you to know it all passes. You’re doing an awesome job by being here sharing your vulnerability like this. Do you realise how strong,brave and courageous you actually are? Mega, as this road is a hero’s/warriors path. We see you and hear you and we know it’s scary and bat S… madness but all this does end. You’re destabilised and it will settle. You can’t stop what’s happening on the inside as your body is doing it’s job whether we like it or not. The no sleep won’t kill you, yes it’s challenging to say the least but what can you do RIGHT NOW in this moment? If the answer is just holding on than your job is to get from one second to the next that’s all you need to do. The intensity will pass at some point. You’ve got what it takes to do this. Right now you are being forged in the fire and some one new is waiting to emerge, it’s a process of letting go and surrendering to all that is. (Not easy) The more we fight the more desperate we become. You can do it one foot in front of the other and just breathe! Even if all you do is just breathe that breath is life ✨ Put your hand on heart and stomach repeat “we’ve got this, I am safe”! 💪🏻 First AD when i was 19.Binge drinker/drugs 15 years weekend use.I was always pulled on and off.2005-2007-Mirtapine 45mg CT. 2010-2016 Paxil 40mg + Zopiclone.Jan-2016 i was CT off Paxil.Stopped alcohol Jan 2016.Given 2-4mg of Diazepam April 2016 CT them after 3 month.They reinstated 8mg of Diazepam July 2016 and the Doctor CT me off Zopiclone the same day.They then tried adding all different drugs Mirt one of them at 15mg (i took 7.5mg).I was tapered August 2016 7.5mg.Sep 2016 7mg.Oct 2016 6mg.Tried 1mg of Paxil-stopped after 2 days.Nov 2016 5.5mg.Tried olanzapine @2.5mg (stopped after a week)Dec 2016-5mg.Tried switching to liquid Jan-March 2017 (no good)back to pills.April 2017-4.75mg of Diazepam June 2017 -4.5mg.July 2018 went inpatient for 10 days.Awakening 4 days later.HELD.Sep 2017 4.3mg Dec 2017-4mg (Held)April 2019- started tapering the Mirtazapine.Sep 2019 at 6mg of Mirtazapine (HELD)Stopped smoking CT after 26 years.10.16.19..Restarted the Diazepam taper Jan 2020 micro tapering (game changer) now 18/7/23 @0.052mg Diazepam + Mirtazapine @6mg. Link to comment
NeedMoreHope Posted May 30 Author Share Posted May 30 Thank you so much. I've been battling for 6 1/2 years now - don't even know what "normal" life is anymore. After this long, it's easy to lose hope and sometimes I just can't take any more, but there isn't really a choice. I got to keep going forward. ❤️ 20 mg Prozac - 2001-2018 Came off cold turkey in Feb 2018, crashed BAD Over the next year and a half, given one drug after another when nothing would work For sleep given: Ativan 2 mg/Ambien/Lunesta/Gabapentin/Klonipin (none helped) Last combo was to add 5 mg Zyprexa to the 20 mg Prozac - on this for 5 months Finally had enough in July 2019; cold turkeyd off 5 mg Zyprexa, and then weaned down from 20 mg Prozac to 5 mg ; updosed to 5.25 mg 12/12/2020. Updosed to 7.5 1/5/2021 - back to 5 mg 1/10/2021 after bad reaction to updose; added 900 mg gabapendtin for nerve pain (thought to be caused by COVID) 2/2/2021 - hospitalized for COVID complications - put on 1200 gabapentin and added 25 Seroquel for sleep (ugh). Back to Prozac 6 mg. 11/22/2021 - OFF Seroquel. Prozac 8 mg. Gabapentin 800 mg/day. 5/1/2022 - Prozac 7 mg/day; Gabapentin 650 mg/day 11/14/2022 - Prozac 6 mg/day; Gabapentin 400 mg/day 2/20/2023 - Prozac 5 mg/day; Gabapentin 384 mg/day 5/2/2024 - Just wasn't getting better on hold - updosed to 400 gaba/day and 10 mg Prozac/day, but HUGE mistake - on 5/16/2024 returned to 5 mg Prozac (still at 400 gaba/day). Link to comment
pinkfairy Posted May 30 Share Posted May 30 16 minutes ago, NeedMoreHope said: Thank you so much. I've been battling for 6 1/2 years now - don't even know what "normal" life is anymore. After this long, it's easy to lose hope and sometimes I just can't take any more, but there isn't really a choice. I got to keep going forward. ❤️ You’re so welcome… you don’t know what “normal” life is… “yet” but you will do. Of course it is, I am on a long hold at the moment and I get disheartened many times, what I realise is I can Chanel the pain and move it or stay in it. I had to learn different ways and learn different coping tools and how to self soothe. That’s a feeling that you can’t take it anymore and feelings aren’t facts the thing is you are taking it, I look at all my symptoms as deep healing and I know I will be alright no matter what storm blows my way because I trust the process now. Do I like this path? Yes and no because yes I am discovering me in ways I never dreamt of and really understanding how powerful we truly are. No, because I am in pain and limited it’s also taken many many years from me. I have a choice to remain stuck at what as happened or look at what it’s forging me into. When we are in the thick of this and we don’t see anything it’s so dark. Seeds are planted in the dark. We wouldn’t be taken through these waters if we didn’t have a purpose on the other side. When it gets to much just rest down tools and just breathe. Your job is to survive because believe me the climb is worth it you just can’t see it… yet ❤️ First AD when i was 19.Binge drinker/drugs 15 years weekend use.I was always pulled on and off.2005-2007-Mirtapine 45mg CT. 2010-2016 Paxil 40mg + Zopiclone.Jan-2016 i was CT off Paxil.Stopped alcohol Jan 2016.Given 2-4mg of Diazepam April 2016 CT them after 3 month.They reinstated 8mg of Diazepam July 2016 and the Doctor CT me off Zopiclone the same day.They then tried adding all different drugs Mirt one of them at 15mg (i took 7.5mg).I was tapered August 2016 7.5mg.Sep 2016 7mg.Oct 2016 6mg.Tried 1mg of Paxil-stopped after 2 days.Nov 2016 5.5mg.Tried olanzapine @2.5mg (stopped after a week)Dec 2016-5mg.Tried switching to liquid Jan-March 2017 (no good)back to pills.April 2017-4.75mg of Diazepam June 2017 -4.5mg.July 2018 went inpatient for 10 days.Awakening 4 days later.HELD.Sep 2017 4.3mg Dec 2017-4mg (Held)April 2019- started tapering the Mirtazapine.Sep 2019 at 6mg of Mirtazapine (HELD)Stopped smoking CT after 26 years.10.16.19..Restarted the Diazepam taper Jan 2020 micro tapering (game changer) now 18/7/23 @0.052mg Diazepam + Mirtazapine @6mg. Link to comment
NeedMoreHope Posted June 23 Author Share Posted June 23 I had a few window days 2 weeks ago - it was heaven. But then I crashed again and it's been bad - I never know why it comes back. This has been the longest hardest week yet. I almost feel like my body is paralyzed and my mind is in hell. My whole body is electrocuting me with burning and zaps. Is this still withdrawal? I've been back on the 5 mg Prozac for about 6 weeks after tying to updose to 10 mg for 2 weeks. Staying put on the 400 gaba. I am afraid and almost suicidal again, but I know the hospital will not help me - I've tried that many times in the past - they don't understand. Help me hold on. You all are my only hope. 20 mg Prozac - 2001-2018 Came off cold turkey in Feb 2018, crashed BAD Over the next year and a half, given one drug after another when nothing would work For sleep given: Ativan 2 mg/Ambien/Lunesta/Gabapentin/Klonipin (none helped) Last combo was to add 5 mg Zyprexa to the 20 mg Prozac - on this for 5 months Finally had enough in July 2019; cold turkeyd off 5 mg Zyprexa, and then weaned down from 20 mg Prozac to 5 mg ; updosed to 5.25 mg 12/12/2020. Updosed to 7.5 1/5/2021 - back to 5 mg 1/10/2021 after bad reaction to updose; added 900 mg gabapendtin for nerve pain (thought to be caused by COVID) 2/2/2021 - hospitalized for COVID complications - put on 1200 gabapentin and added 25 Seroquel for sleep (ugh). Back to Prozac 6 mg. 11/22/2021 - OFF Seroquel. Prozac 8 mg. Gabapentin 800 mg/day. 5/1/2022 - Prozac 7 mg/day; Gabapentin 650 mg/day 11/14/2022 - Prozac 6 mg/day; Gabapentin 400 mg/day 2/20/2023 - Prozac 5 mg/day; Gabapentin 384 mg/day 5/2/2024 - Just wasn't getting better on hold - updosed to 400 gaba/day and 10 mg Prozac/day, but HUGE mistake - on 5/16/2024 returned to 5 mg Prozac (still at 400 gaba/day). Link to comment
NeedMoreHope Posted June 30 Author Share Posted June 30 I am getting worse by the day. I'm afraid I have no choice but to go back to a hospital - I can't live like this anymore. Thank you for all your support. I do not know what else to do here. I just can't get better. 20 mg Prozac - 2001-2018 Came off cold turkey in Feb 2018, crashed BAD Over the next year and a half, given one drug after another when nothing would work For sleep given: Ativan 2 mg/Ambien/Lunesta/Gabapentin/Klonipin (none helped) Last combo was to add 5 mg Zyprexa to the 20 mg Prozac - on this for 5 months Finally had enough in July 2019; cold turkeyd off 5 mg Zyprexa, and then weaned down from 20 mg Prozac to 5 mg ; updosed to 5.25 mg 12/12/2020. Updosed to 7.5 1/5/2021 - back to 5 mg 1/10/2021 after bad reaction to updose; added 900 mg gabapendtin for nerve pain (thought to be caused by COVID) 2/2/2021 - hospitalized for COVID complications - put on 1200 gabapentin and added 25 Seroquel for sleep (ugh). Back to Prozac 6 mg. 11/22/2021 - OFF Seroquel. Prozac 8 mg. Gabapentin 800 mg/day. 5/1/2022 - Prozac 7 mg/day; Gabapentin 650 mg/day 11/14/2022 - Prozac 6 mg/day; Gabapentin 400 mg/day 2/20/2023 - Prozac 5 mg/day; Gabapentin 384 mg/day 5/2/2024 - Just wasn't getting better on hold - updosed to 400 gaba/day and 10 mg Prozac/day, but HUGE mistake - on 5/16/2024 returned to 5 mg Prozac (still at 400 gaba/day). Link to comment
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