Heinz1903: 4 years zoloft and now clean for 6 weeks

[Heinz1903]

I have the feeling my IQ became much much lower since i got off the medications.

 

can someone help me with advice about this. It’s as if i can’t think myself out of things anymore.

[Erfan]

No, it's a myth! I used to have this feeling too. It's actually a lack of concentration on subjects, more or less ADHD-like symptoms. So, it also gets better over time. It's only a lack of concentration, not a lower IQ.

[Heinz1903]

@Erfan

 

When does this godless experience end, i am so tired and it’s such a painridden ride. That i am scared of losing it.

[RachelSusan]

@Heinz1903 Hi Heinz,  I finally got off of Zoloft after a long taper. Jan 1st 2022 was the day I jumped off. I was already at an extremely low dose so it was much easier to stop.  At the end of the taper I was good, however during the taper it was hard and I had a lot of symptoms. It takes a while for things to improve, don't give up.

 

It is indeed a terrible experience, much worse than anyone can ever imagine. It does improve though. You will improve.

[Heinz1903]

@RachelSusan

 

i’m still here after 1.5 year, my neuro-emotions are the worst. It is as if my mind is hijacked, i can’t remove it. It just latches in. It feels almost like a demonic possession, i can’t remove the loops of pain. I pray all day.

[Erfan]

Again, it gets better over time. Trust me!!! You mentioned loops, It does sound OCD to me (I'm not a therapist!) Please try ERP therapy, it doesn't hurt. It can potentially help you with your withdrawal.
BTW, did you read this free book I shared: https://theanxioustruth.com/an-anxiety-story/
It's a memoir. He is from the USA and took SSRI for 9 years. He explained all he had gone through during his recovery.

[RachelSusan]

@Heinz1903 I know you are suffering.  I hope that you have someone that emotionally supports you, either a loved one or a professional.

 

As for withdrawal the symptoms are horrible but the situation should improve with time.

[Heinz1903]

@Erfan @RachelSusan

 

i have a bad stomach flu and ever since i have this my symptoms became much worse

[Erfan]

How are you feeling now?

[Heinz1903]

@Erfan

 

the worst i have ever been, constant obsessions about words that have meaning that are important to me.

 

and often it just triggers a whole emotional wave

[Erfan]

Very sorry to hear that. It sounds OCD to me. Have you tried ERP to get out of the OCD cycle?

[RachelSusan]

@Heinz1903 It sounds like you are having a very hard time. I'm sorry that you are suffering. Is it possible that this is something other that withdrawal? If so, you might want to address some of these issues with a counselor that can help you, maybe some sort of talk therapy. I would like to see you feel better. If my suggestion is not appropriate to your situation then please ignore it.

[Heinz1903]

@RachelSusanthis is withdrawal because i have the exact symptoms.

 

for some reason its impossible to think normal, this is a wave. When i’m in a wave thinking like a normal person is not a thing. 
 

so what happends when i’m in a wave is that my thought patterns and problem solving are dysfunctional, not normal at all, as if thinking just became indirectly, this follows by panic and doom scenarios. This then translated into a cycle of looping painful thoughts and obsessions. This may look like OCD, but its clearly not. This is cognitive, a altered state. Im not psychotic, nor am i in risk of developing one. It feels as if my mind became broken plate, just repeating things over and over again. A jammed gun basically.

 

what often happends to in these waves is a weird way of thinking,  mostly visual thinking. Taking things too literal, can’t focus at all. Did i develop autism in withdrawal?

 

this is what i kept experiencing since i got off medications and also when i was tapering. It basically feels as if parts of my brain for normal functioning is turned off and on. This is very common after a flu or drinking alcohol.

 

i may have very bad brain damage due the medications. This one is most likely.

OCD would be a second option but because i often have weeks without any OCD and while being confronted by the OCD triggers and feeling nothing of stress.

 

 

[RachelSusan]

@Heinz1903 My apologies for asking the question about withdrawal. I have no way of knowing anything about you from a website. I can tell however from what you write that you are really suffering, and I have a lot of compassion for what you are living through.

 

I do understand your analogy about a jammed gun. Thank you for that explanation.

 

Warm wishes.

[Erfan]

@Heinz1903

I have something that might help you with your withdrawal: 3 episodes of a podcast talking about his SSRI withdrawal:

https://anchor.fm/theanxioustruth/episodes/EP-145---Part-1---Antidepressants--Anxiety--And-Me-eqnvmg

 

Episodes 145-147. 

He talked in detail about his experience. It helps me a lot to understand the withdrawal period and my untreated OCD.

[Heinz1903]

My OCD is becoming so bad that i can’t think of anything else. It now is going for the last week again.

 

i truly reconsidering going back on pill.

[Erfan]

As I told you before the gold standard treatment for OCD is ERP and/or SSRIs. 

Please try this online ERP school: https://www.cbtschool.com 

[Heinz1903]

@Erfan i rather kill myself than ever having a form of medication in my mouth.

[Greatful]

@Heinz1903  I feel for you and your struggles....I  also have had relentless looping fear, thoughts, ocd for over 2 years....The constant in your face thoughts can be very overwhelming....Somehow we have to come to accept them and acknowledge them as just that thoughts....not real or having any merit.....

My hubby keep reminding me that they will all go away as my brain heals....Hold on to that wisdom....

 

[Heinz1903]

After a week of zero symptoms i start having symptoms of a wave again.

i start feeling weird 3 days ago, its still on going.

[Greatful]

@Heinz1903 Stopping by to see how you are doing?

[SertralineIssues29]

Hey @Heinz1903 I've read your whole thread and want you to know I fully understand, I also fear psychosis, I have debilitating brain fog, massive dpdr and all other nasty stuff going on

I do fully believe the flu's you have experienced have influenced this alot as I'm currently getting over covid and feel worse than I have done this whole time. 

 

No need to think you won't heal though it will happen to us all 

 

SI xxx

[Heinz1903]

I am now fully healed from withdrawal.

 

but i have a question still, and i almost going to write a succes story.

 

i have had alot sexual preference changes in my withdrawal, i never got a intrest in males before withdrawal. But for some reason this whole withdrawal until the last 3 months i experienced a oversexualized behavior. Also sexual preference changes, this is weird because before all this i was only intrested in woman, had normal non over sexualized behavior.

 

While everything is turning to normal this is one system that still affects me some what. I never had this sexual preference or this behavior before. I am glad everything is returning to normal.

 

this whole withdrawal i experienced sexual behavior or zero sexual behavior. swings, which slowly returned to normal.

 

For example first 6 months i experienced zero libido, then it was on off. I also did some stuff i regret, like weird things i said to friends. Which i would never do now, but back then my brain was on auto pilot.

 

i am so glad i am at the end and i am healed for atleast 80%

 

my question is:

 

is it normal for people to experience sexual behavior changes in preference or in amount when having ssri withdrawal.

 

*normal means my normal preference and behavior*

[Heinz1903]

@Greatful I havent have symptoms of withdrawal for the last 2 months. Only some mental ocd. Which sometimes returns but all physical issues and fatigue are gone.

[Greatful]

@Heinz1903  It's wonderful to hear you are doing so much better. 

 

When in the throws of this nightmare we call withdrawal from these nasty drugs, it is so hard to believe that we can heal from this, and we are not mentally ill, or that we are stuck like this.  

 

Look at yourself in the mirror and smile knowing you did it, you survived. 

I'll be looking out for your success story. Your story will give strength to the rest of us waiting for that huge widow of life without withdrawal. 🌞

 

 

[Heinz1903]

@Greatful thanks!

 

i feel as if my sexual preferences and my behavior returns to normal.