Walleebug: almost 20 years on Celexa

[littlebird]

10 hours ago, Walleebug said:

We have not been tested.

Honestly, the way the new strains are dodging rapid tests, there may not be a point. You’d have to go out and find a PCR, which could put others at risk since this does sound like covid. It’s also possible another virus is reactivating the toll covid took on you when you had it, but either way, best to stay home unless it gets into emergencyville.

 

10 hours ago, Walleebug said:

Honestly, I try to stay way from doctors if at all possible.

I so get it. Each doctor I talk to really drives home why I avoid them! Hoping we both can find some good ones to help us along.

 

10 hours ago, Walleebug said:

I will go if I feel it's necessary.   I rested most of the day yesterday.   By last night I was feeling a little bit better.  This morning I still have some inner shakiness and nausea but not as extreme so far as yesterday.   Fingers crossed.

I’m glad you’ll go in if need be and have been resting! It’s such a good sign you’re feeling better, not the same or worse. Your body is fighting and healing and getting better. Try to soothe yourself with thoughts about how you’re on the mend, your body is doing it’s thing, and it’s going to be all right.

[Walleebug]

Thanks @littlebirdso far today I'm feeling about the same as yesterday.  It seems the heart beat is calming down.  It happened throughout the day yesterday but wasn't constant.   Thank God.  If I can get through today at least as good as yesterday I'll be happy.  I have plenty of sick time to use but I only want to use it if I absolutely have to.   I work from home so that helps a lot. I'm sorry you don't get sick time.  That's an awful added stresser.  I really haven't done anything the past couple days besides work and sleep or rest.  I really am trying to take it easy.  One thing I've noticed is that my facial twitching has moved from the left side to the ride side.  Maybe the other half of my brain is healing now.  That's the only conclusion I can make.  Hopefully it finishes up soon!

[Walleebug]

Day 81- still feeling terrible.   Went to bed with pounding heart and panic woke up with pounding heart and panic.  Hoping this wave ends soon. 

[Walleebug]

I seem to be feeling a bit better everyday.  This virus is kicking my butt but it feels more like a cold now instead of severe withdrawl.

[Walleebug]

13 weeks-Still in a wave but I seem to be getting a little better everyday.   Still having cold symptoms like a bad cough and runny nose but that's improving everyday too.  Still have heightened anxiety,  occasional heart palpitations,  occasional dizziness,  muscle twitching in face and feet, brain zaps when too much noise, headache and sharp pains in my head and eyes. 2 weeks into this wave.

[Walleebug]

15 weeks-I wouldn't say I'm out of this wave but I'm doing OK.  I think I figured out what could have caused it other than the virus I had.  I was making shrimp linguine last week and when I reached for the cooking wine I realized I had used quite a bit of it when I made a birthday dinner for my daughter in law the day before my symptoms started.  I really think this was the trigger. I thought the alcohol burns off but apparently it doesn't.  Lesson learned. 

[Walleebug]

17 weeks- Slowly getting better.  Internal tremors are still there but at a much lower level.  More of a whisper than visible shaking.  Facial twitching is still a bit bad.  Mostly my right eye now.  Anxiety is getting better but definitely not gone yet.  Sleep is good but still wake with a bit of a cortisol rush.  I don't want to complain though because it's much better.  Still a bit dizzy at times but it's manageable.   Burning sensations are pretty much gone.  Brain zaps only appear when I'm tired or there's too much noise. Heart palpitations are calming down but haven't gone. Still have headaches everyday.  Feet twiches and random muscle twitching still a daily occurrence.  Overall getting better.  It's been almost 7 weeks since the wave hit me.  

[CeruleanSea]

Wow @Walleebug, this is so tough!  Have you been to the MD for a checkup about the symptoms?  It sounds like a _lot_, although the facial twitching -- I have had that more mildly with discontinuing.

 

I'm hoping you see improvements sooner than later!

[Walleebug]

Hi @CeruleanSea.  It's been tough for sure!  No need for the doctor.   Im certain it's withdrawl.  Most, if not all, of my symptoms are hallmark withdrawl symptoms.  It sucks but this too shall pass.  Just trying to keep my head held high.  I hope you are doing well.

[GGGG]

On 2/28/2023 at 9:34 AM, Walleebug said:

Hi @CeruleanSea.  It's been tough for sure!  No need for the doctor.   Im certain it's withdrawl.  Most, if not all, of my symptoms are hallmark withdrawl symptoms.  It sucks but this too shall pass.  Just trying to keep my head held high.  I hope you are doing well.

Did you taper or ct off it?

[Walleebug]

Well, I tapered over a month so pretty much cold turkey.

[Walleebug]

17 1/2 weeks- I just want to make note that the past 2 days I have felt amazing. Hardly any anxiety and minimal physical symptoms other than a whisper of internal shaking and some eye twitching. I want to make note of this for others starting withdrawl.  I know the next wave I go through I'm going to be on here complaining about how awful I feel so I want people to know there have been good days.  I want to remind myself also that there were good days.  

[littlebird]

Yay for good days!

[CeruleanSea]

@Walleebug I'm hoping that the good days are continuing! Wishing you the best from here.

[Walleebug]

@CeruleanSeathank you!  Im much better.  Hopefully this window lasts awhile.   

[AmyElizabeth68]

I'm new to this page but so thankful to have found it.  I have successfully tapered off of Effexor but I'm currently hoping to be able to point my clients in right direction if they want to taper. I'm a mental health therapist.  so thankful my eyes were opened in last 6 months to the dangers of AD's.  can anyone suggest how to connect clients to docs that know how to help people safely taper? thanks in advance.

[Altostrata]

Hello, @AmyElizabeth68 Please start your own Introductions topic and we will discuss your question there. Thank you.

[Walleebug]

20 1/2 weeks- Mentally I'm doing pretty well.  Physically, I'm still having a lot of muscle twitching, headaches and some palpitations. I still have internal tremors but the volume has been turned way down. Still have some intrusive thoughts but instead of them screaming in my ear its more like they are a football field away.  I can still hear them but its much less intrusive.  Also, seeing "people" again like in earlier withdrawl but it's also to a much lesser degree.  Im really not sure what this is but i have NEVER experienced this before in my life. I'm not hallucinating its more like my mind assumes it sees people in inanimate objects before my brain catches up to what it really is. Still having the occasional brain zaps and occasional dizziness.  Sleep is very good.  Although I have just listed a lot of symptoms I want to be clear that these symptoms are not constant.  They are daily but not long lasting (other than headaches).  Overall,  I'm doing pretty well considering I'm only 5 months post antidepressant and 8 months post benzo.  

[Walleebug]

I also wanted to add that I'm starting to cry very easily.   I haven't cried in years!  When my granddaughter was born i felt like i was going to cry but nothing came out. I don't cry because I'm sad though.  I'll be watching something,  like a little girl singing,  and tears just come out of nowhere.   It really feels good.  

[AmyElizabeth68]

Isn’t it amazing to have feelings again?!! I also cry now After really not while on AD’s! It’s a good thing!

[Walleebug]

@AmyElizabeth68 I'm so happy to hear you've successfully tapered off an antidepressant.   Hopefully it wasn't too bad for you.  I want to add that I think it's wonderful that you are wanting to help people taper safety.   I have been on these medicines for almost 20 years.  I was very careful weaning off the benzo because I've always been told how horrible they are and how dangerous it can be.  On the other hand people never say that antidepressants are just as bad.  I honest to God never thought I'd have a harder time coming off the antidepressant than the xanax.  But, here I am. Lol.  Anyway, as far as finding doctors that understand antidepressant withdrawl,  well, good luck.  The common answer to antidepressant withdrawl seems to be prescriptions for more psych meds.  My doctor is wonderful but her first reaction was to prescribe a different antidepressant and another anti anxiety medicine.   Even after I had a severe adverse reaction to reinstatement of celexa.  Unfortunately,  there's just not much knowledge out there.  I'm assuming it's because not a lot of people can make it through the withdrawls not only mentally and physically but also financially.   I have the privilege of working from home while withdrawing.   If I were working outside of the home im honestly not sure what would have happened to me.   My heart breaks for most people on this site.  Our voices are not being heard in the medical community.   

[Altostrata]

Well said, @Walleebug

[Walleebug]

21 weeks - woke up this morning in a wave.  

[Walleebug]

I've been plugged back into the withdrawl matrix.  Woke up and the first thing I felt was my butt and thigh muscles on the left side contacting.  I got up and realized I had the dreaded internal buzzing back.  I've had nerve burning and pain from head to toe too.  My shoulder and neck  muscles are doing their withdrawl shake.  The good part is that the anxiety has been ok this afternoon.  It was pretty bad this morning.  I almost had a panic attack but I've tried to float through the physical symptoms as much as possible.  I don't know why my feet are always so affected but I aways get major muscle twitching in my feet.  I ate strawberries yesterday and today I read someone said they can make withdrawl symptoms worse.  Other than that nothing is different.   Not sure what's causing this wave. I've been very careful to not do anything to rock the boat.  Hoping I wake up feeling better tomorrow. 

[Altostrata]

On 3/27/2023 at 2:41 PM, Walleebug said:

I ate strawberries yesterday and today I read someone said they can make withdrawl symptoms worse. 

 

Not necessarily. Are you sensitive to strawberries? They can elevate histamine.

[Walleebug]

I don't think I've ever been sensitive to strawberries in the past but I've never eaten them during withdrawl.  I'm starting to realize a wave pattern.   It's a couple days of horrible symptoms and then slow improvement.  I'll count my lucky stars that I'm starting to feel a little better.  This wave was not quite as severe as the last wave.  Hopefully that'll be the trend.

[Altostrata]

You may have become hypersensitive overall, and now somewhat sensitive to histamine-inducing foods.

[Walleebug]

6 months- This weekend marks 6 months off.  I'm still having windows and waves but I'm noticing my waves are shorter and less intense.  Still have daily internal vibrations and muscle twitching regardless of whether I'm in a window or wave.  Hoping to continue seeing this upward pattern. 

[Altostrata]

Good to hear! Hang in there.

[Walleebug]

6 months- I swear I jinxed myself.  Severe wave started Sunday.   It's been getting worse everyday.   All typical wave symptoms are back full force.  Bad vision,  dizziness,  hard heart palpitations,  major burning skin over whole body, muscle spasms,  twitching,  internal vibrations,  extreme tiredness,  muscles in arms and hands feel extremely tired and stiff.  The joint in my jaw keeps getting hung up which is a new symptom. Nausea.  Headache, anxiety..........I've also officially lost 30 pds in the past 6 months.  

[Chompoo]

@Walleebug you're in the infamous 6 month wave. A lot of people get it. and it's much worse than previous waves. It's also the wave that brings more healing afterwards, as people report feeling much better after the wave passed.

How are you doing now? I hope the wave has gone.

[Altostrata]

How are you doing, @Walleebug?

[Walleebug]

@altostrata I'm feeling much better.   Still lots of muscle twitching but everything else has gotten much better.  Thank you for asking.

[Comecloser80]

@Walleebug it’s good to know that you are feeling much better. It’s been almost 19 weeks since I stopped CT and I am experiencing internal vibrations/tremors, whole body shakiness every day, specially when I lay down. Has it gone away for you? 
 

[Walleebug]

@Purae Unfortunately,  it has not gone away.   I still have vibrations and shaking everyday but the intensity goes down when I'm in a window.  Fortunately the mental symptoms of withdrawal are getting better.  There used to be a correlation between harder vibrations and worsening mental symptoms but now I can have worsening vibrations with no mental symptoms so I'd consider that progress for sure.  Mine only gets worse in my legs and feet when I lay down.  The torso vibrations and shaking get better when I lay down. I'll probably never understand it but I can't wait for it to go away.  My shaking and vibrations started during an adverse reaction so I'm not sure if it's from withdrawl or the adverse reaction.  Did you have akathesia?  I did and I've heard this vibration can be residual affects from that.  I'm not sure though.  I really hope the symptoms get much better for you soon. 

[Comecloser80]

@Walleebug I am sorry that you are still suffering. I am not sure what akathesia actually feels like but I feel very restless sometimes that I need to get up and walk for sometime, I think it’s one form of akathesia and I still experience them sometimes but has lessened compare to earlier.

Internal vibrations/tremors, internal shakiness are not constant, it comes and goes, I feel them specifically while lying down and sometime during other time. 
 

I am lacking energy, I feel tired even after a short walk or even without doing nothing. 

 

Mental symptoms are still there, I don’t feel rested, head feels heavy, mild headache, not being able to sleep past 4:30am, averaging 6 hrs of broken sleep, stomach flutters, sometimes constipation, loose stool, muscle spasms on different parts of body. 
 

improvements:

dark depression has lifted 

total hopelessness has lessened 

crying spells are almost gone

sleep improved a bit

appetite came back

Fatigue subsided 

 

like you, I am not quite sure whether I am suffering withdrawals or adverse reactions. I hope we both recover.