Walleebug: almost 20 years on Celexa

[Walleebug]

@Purae it sounds like you have done a lot of healing.  That is very good.   I don't consider myself still suffering.   For the most part I'm OK.  I just have to deal with these annoying symptoms and bad waves until my brain sorts everything out.  I'm soooo much better than I was 6 months ago.  I'm very happy with my progress.  I know I'm healing and will eventually be all better.

 

 I'm just recently able to talk about akathesia because it was so terrible.   It's something words can't even describe.  I hope you didn't have it. 

 

You will make it through this.  Your symptoms,  like mine, are very typical.  I trust altostrata and all the other survivors who say it will gradually get better.  I know it's hard to believe it's typical and common when your doctor doesn't even know about the symptoms, but it is.  Here we all are holding each others head above water. 

 

 

 

 

 

[Walleebug]

7 months- I am getting better.  Mental symptoms are definitely better unless I'm in a wave. Waves are getting better and shorter.  I still have eye twitching and internal vibrations every day. The eye twitching has been very bad the past month or so.  Internal vibrations are less intense than the were but definitely still noticeable. 

 

Some things are much better or completely gone.  I haven't had a brain zap in a long time.  Probably at least a month.  Headaches have gone from daily to once or twice a week.  Anxiety is so much better and generally only bad in a wave.  Pounding heart is gone unless I'm in a wave.  Cheek muscle twitching is much better. Some days I have none.  Appetite is back unless in a wave.  Nausea is gone unless in  wave.  Dizziness is gone except in a wave.  Sleep has been good most days.  

 

I'm noticing that most of my symptoms are now physical and mental symptoms are pretty good most days.  Just generally feeling much better and have a lot more energy and drive. I still have to be careful of what I eat.  Somethings like chocolate or chipotle really amp up my symptoms.  I try to avoid all chemicals.   I haven't even dyed my hair in months.  

 

I'm really starting to believe I might overcome this.  I feel about 70% healed right now.  Somedays I can function at almost 100%.  I still occasionally have days I can hardly function at all but most days are generally about 70%.  Not bad for almost 20 years on benzos and an antidepressant.  Hoping to continue seeing the improvements. 

[Walleebug]

8 months- Things are definitely getting better.  Internal vibrations are calming down but still happen daily.  Eye twitching and face muscle contractions are getting better.  Only happens a few times a day now.  Pounding heart is getting better.  Some days I have no hard heartbeats.   Mentally I'm doing much better.  Muscle stiffness is still bad. Sleep is getting much better. I Still have nights waking up several times or being wide awake after only a couple hours but for the most part I wake up calm now.  Food sensitivity is settling down.  I'm still very careful but not as paranoid about foods.  I still have some dizziness and blurry vision but it's only bad in waves.  This month I had more good days than bad days.  I went 2 full weeks without a headache this month.

 

I'm definitely getting better.  

  

[Storm365]

Hello @Walleebug 
 

Just read your post from a week and a half ago. So glad you are doing better. How are you feeling today? 

[Walleebug]

@Storm365I've been pretty darn good.  I've had only a couple really bad wave days in the past month.  I've been bouncing back really quickly.  Of course I still have daily symptoms but nothing I would really complain about.  I'm just relieved to have some mental peace again.  How are you?  Are you still working?  

[Storm365]

@Walleebug Thanks for replying. That is so good to hear 😊! So happy for you! I’m doing good, just like you, still having symptoms. But I’m so much better than I was 6 months ago. Yes, I’m still working. I’m amazed at how well my brain and body have adjusted since working, at first I didn’t think I would last this long, but I’m still there 😁. What a journey lol. 

[Walleebug]

9 months- July has not been a great month. I've been in a wave for a couple of weeks. 

 

Bad vibrations are back.  I've been waking again with a pounding heart and sometimes panic.  My body is burning again. Especially my torso.  I've had very bad muscle problems. My arms have been feeling very stiff like the aftermath of being shocked with electricity.  My whole face is twitching again. Eye, cheek, lips and chin.  I'm having cortisol surges again during the day.  Last night I woke in the middle of the night with muscle contractions over my whole body. It felt like I was floating in carbonated water and the bubbles were exploding in my muscles.  My face has had a lot of burning.  Hard heartbeats are back.  Nausea,  dizziness and food sensitivities are back. I can only eat a few bites again.  

 

I have been very careful not to do anything to set off symptoms.  This is totally organic withdrawal.  Today has been a bit better and I'm hoping this wave will be ending soon.

 

I haven't had some of these symptoms in months so it's very discouraging that they're back. 

 

The good news is that I haven't had one headache this month!

 

[Walleebug]

I'm really struggling right now.  A family member got me very upset and I cried for 3 hours.  I developed a massive migraine Thursday night.  I vomited the whole night into Friday morning.   Now I'm extremely tired. My body is constantly shaking, I'm still nauseous and I'm having lots of mental symptoms.  Anyone have any idea how long these setbacks normally last? 

[Storm365]

Sorry to hear about your troubles @Walleebug. I don’t know how long they last. I’m not a doctor, but I’m going to go out on a limb and say the shaking may be from your body needing some nourishment, judging by the fact of you vomiting the whole night Friday. Have you been able to eat anything? Have you tried any electrolyte drinks? I just know vomiting a lot can cause you to lose a lot of nutrients and dehydrate you. Have you gotten any sleep? If not then that may explain your tiredness. 
 

I hope you feel better soon.

 

Storm

[Walleebug]

Thanks @Storm365.  I've been sleeping a lot and not eating much.  Just some crackers here and there. I'm trying to drink lots of water.  im still too afraid of vitamin drinks unfortunately.   Did you have any setbacks after getting really upset?

[Storm365]

1 minute ago, Walleebug said:

Thanks @Storm365.  I've been sleeping a lot and not eating much.  Just some crackers here and there. I'm trying to drink lots of water.  im still too afraid of vitamin drinks unfortunately.   Did you have any setbacks after getting really upset?

I remember earlier in withdrawal recovery, when I would get really upset I would have an anxiety attack and it would bring on more intense brain shivers. But, never vomited. And I feel you on the vitamin drinks, I can’t do those either. I do coconut water for electrolytes.
 

I do get shakey, nauseous, lightheaded, and my head starts feeling funny when I don’t get enough to eat throughout the day. This actually happened to me Monday, but I had forgotten about it because it hasn’t happened since January. The symptoms started after getting off the AD. I try to eat small meals every 2-4 hours. That seems to keep my body in check. I’ve read about reactive hypoglycemia and wondered if that’s my issue. I had my doctor check for diabetes last September and everything showed up normal. 
 

Do you like coconut water? 

[Walleebug]

@Storm365.  I haven't had coconut water in years. I'm honestly not sure if I like it or not.  I'm just so afraid to try anything new.  I won't even allow myself to take tylenol or advil during a migraine.  It's so frustrating.  

 

I'm so happy to hear that youve gone from January til now without an episode like that.  That's very good news.  It's crazy how our bodies are so sensitive to food or lack of food during withdrawal.   I normally can't go longer than a couple hours without eating something small or my body starts freaking out.  

 

I really hope you're still doing much better.  It's funny because whenever I open the SA website it always opens to your page.  I'm not sure why but I always wonder how you're doing and wish you the best. 

[Storm365]

1 minute ago, Walleebug said:

 

@Storm365.  I haven't had coconut water in years. I'm honestly not sure if I like it or not.  I'm just so afraid to try anything new.  I won't even allow myself to take tylenol or advil during a migraine.  It's so frustrating.  

 

Trust me, I get it. I am the exact same way. Although I won’t take any drugs, I have recently tried probiotics because of gut issues, but that’s the closest I’ve gotten to taking anything lol. Definitely frustrating. 
 

6 minutes ago, Walleebug said:

I'm so happy to hear that youve gone from January til now without an episode like that.  That's very good news.  It's crazy how our bodies are so sensitive to food or lack of food during withdrawal.   I normally can't go longer than a couple hours without eating something small or my body starts freaking out.  

Thank you. Yes, I’ve been so focused on trying to figure out what’s causing my gut issues, I forgot to make sure I was eating enough. 
 

 

13 minutes ago, Walleebug said:

I really hope you're still doing much better.  It's funny because whenever I open the SA website it always opens to your page.  I'm not sure why but I always wonder how you're doing and wish you the best. 

That is funny. I appreciate that. I’m making it through. I’m having some gut issues at the moment. I’ve been in a wave for about two weeks now, mostly brain shivers and dizziness. I believe my gut issues are making things feel worse than what they really are, because it’s been disturbing my sleep. But I’m hanging in here lol. 
 

I wish you the best as well. I am looking forward to the day that we can write about our full recovery from AD. 

[Walleebug]

@Storm365 Are you out of your wave? I finally made it out of mine. 

[Storm365]

Hi @Walleebug! That is good to hear. Yes, I am finally out of my wave. Hopefully the window will last longer this time. Thanks for the update and checking in on me! 

[Walleebug]

10 months- The last 2 weeks of July through the middle of August were really tough. All old symptoms came back. I had akathisia for the first time in months.  It only lasted 3 days but that was 3 days too many.  It was brought on by a 3 hour crying spell after getting upset with my dad. I had a migraine and a whole night of vomiting.  The next 3 days were horrendous.  The good part is that it went just as quick as it came. It used to take weeks of gradually getting better before I felt good again.  This time I  was instantly back to feeling good.  Afterwards I had a 2 week window.   I'm hoping that month 11 is a lot better than month 10 was. 

 

Oh! I haven’t had eye twitching in over 2 weeks. As soon as my last big wave ended so did the eye twitching.  I've had it every day since October last year so this is a big deal for me. 

 

 

[Walleebug]

11 months- Month 11 was much better than month 10.

 

Headaches and eye twitching are finally gone!

 

Still have:

-Inner vibrations daily

-Muscle twitching daily(mostly legs now)

-Minor facial twitching

-cortisol surges but no panic

-occasional dizziness 

-occasional blured vision

-random insomnia 

-food sensitivities that cause all symptoms to exaggerate

-Brain zaps when too tired or too stimulated

-burning torso and face 

-stiff muscles in arms and hands

 

 

I'm sure I'm forgetting some things but in general I'm much better and all symptoms are better. My mind is beginning to feel much clearer and I have a lot more time feeling calm and peaceful.  I feel "normal" more often. Month 11 was a pretty good month. 

 

[Storm365]

That is good to hear Walleebug. So glad you’re continuing to get better. 

[Walleebug]

Thank you @Storm365. How are you?

[Storm365]

You’re welcome. I am doing better. I’ve gone for about two weeks with really mild symptoms here and there, but still been able to function. Today I am having a really good day as far as symptoms go, no brain fog, dizziness, or brain shivers. Really grateful for this window today. 😊

[Walleebug]

A wave hit me yesterday out of nowhere.  Bad vibrations and the eye twitching is back.  Agitation is back too. Damn.  I had such a wonderful window.  I was hoping it'd last forever.   

[Walleebug]

The last 2 days I've had very intense burning in my torso and legs. The vibrations are still pretty intense and mental agitation is amped up too.  Its so hard to tolerate these waves after such a long clear window.  It's very hard not to be discouraged.   I'm so sick of this and the thought that this can continue for years is unbelievable.  As I'm typing this my arm feels like a thousand fire ants are stinging me.  I just want to scream or punch something! 

[Walleebug]

The last wave lasted about a week and then I had a pretty good two week window.  Yesterday another wave hit with lots of burning,  anxiety,  inner agitation, vibrating,  muscles contractions and tightening.  I haven’t had a panic attack in a long time but yesterday I ate some popcorn and shortly after my body tried having a panic attack.  I was able to relax enough to not go into a full panic.  The rest of the day and night (including this morning) I've been dizzy, nausea,  having bad vibrations,  incredible burning over my whole body, my muscles are tightening and painful,  I have inner agitation that feels like it could turn into panic at any time.  I know I've been dealing with this for the last year but windows are so good now that waves feel almost intolerable. I have noticed that a month or two before a symptom disappears it amps up hard core.  I'm hoping that means the burning is about to go away because it's been awful for over a month. It hasn’t been this bad since acute.  I had burning the whole time I was withdrawing from the benzo and during the adverse reaction but it calmed down a lot until recently.  I think I was more optimistic when I was sicker.  Now when waves hit it feels like I'm never going to be done with this.  When months turn into a year and I'm still experiencing things from acute it gets depressing for me.  I just want to be better already and know this won't be forever.

[Walleebug]

One year

 

Symptoms that have subsided for at least a month:

-headaches 

-eye twitching 

 

Symptoms I still have every day:

-vibrating (whole body)

-muscle twitches (whole body)

-almost constant feet vibrations

-heart palpitations (skipping beats)

-burning sensations in torso, legs and face

 

Symptoms I still have but not everyday:

-cortisol surges

-only able to sleep 3 hours then wake up unable to go back to sleep 

-panic attacks (rare)

-muscles feel like they've been shocked by electricity and freeze up

-pounding heart

-shaking

-nausea

-blurred vision that won't focus

-akathesia (rare now)

-feels like a bee sting on the bottom of my feet

-Muscle twitching in cheeks and mouth

-pain in the base of my neck 

-muscle tension

-food sensitivities (causes worsening of all symptoms)

-brain zaps

-brain vibrations 

 

Good new: 

-more time with clear "normal " mind

-able to leave home more

-really good windows 

-anxiety has gotten much better

- daily limitations are decreasing

-having more hope of healing 

 

 

 

 

 

[getofflex]

Hello.  Congratulations for getting off Celexa and Xanax!  That is fantastic.  From what you describe, I can tell that you are definitely recovering!  Unfortunately, it does take many of us years to recover, due to the complexity of our nervous systems.  Hang in there, eventually this will be a thing of the past.  

[Walleebug]

Thank you.  I'm definitely getting better.  It's just really slow. Like everyone says....two steps forward three steps back.

[GGGG]

4 hours ago, Walleebug said:

Thank you.  I'm definitely getting better.  It's just really slow. Like everyone says....two steps forward three steps back.

Did you ct?

Do you take any kind of supplements?

[Walleebug]

@GGGG I weaned off over a month so pretty much cold turkey.  I haven’t taken any supplements.  My body is super sensitive to everything so I'm too afraid to try anything. 

[Giuly88]

On 11/5/2023 at 12:53 PM, Walleebug said:

One year

 

Symptoms that have subsided for at least a month:

-headaches 

-eye twitching 

 

Symptoms I still have every day:

-vibrating (whole body)

-muscle twitches (whole body)

-almost constant feet vibrations

-heart palpitations (skipping beats)

-burning sensations in torso, legs and face

 

Symptoms I still have but not everyday:

-cortisol surges

-only able to sleep 3 hours then wake up unable to go back to sleep 

-panic attacks (rare)

-muscles feel like they've been shocked by electricity and freeze up

-pounding heart

-shaking

-nausea

-blurred vision that won't focus

-akathesia (rare now)

-feels like a bee sting on the bottom of my feet

-Muscle twitching in cheeks and mouth

-pain in the base of my neck 

-muscle tension

-food sensitivities (causes worsening of all symptoms)

-brain zaps

-brain vibrations 

 

Good new: 

-more time with clear "normal " mind

-able to leave home more

-really good windows 

-anxiety has gotten much better

- daily limitations are decreasing

-having more hope of healing 

 

 

 

 

 

Hi Wallebug,

 

Pleased to see you had improvements. May you continue to progress positively.

 

I’m 9 months out and still have torso back and ribs tightness and pain.

 

Do/did you experienced this and did it improve for you at all?

[Walleebug]

@Giuly88 I do experience this.  It has gotten much better and is mostly only bad now in waves.  I remember it used to be very bad.  It would make it hard to breath.   Thankfully I rarely experience that anymore.   Hang in there....it does get better.   

[Giuly88]

14 minutes ago, Walleebug said:

@Giuly88 I do experience this.  It has gotten much better and is mostly only bad now in waves.  I remember it used to be very bad.  It would make it hard to breath.   Thankfully I rarely experience that anymore.   Hang in there....it does get better.   

Thank you so much Walleebug. I can see you reinstated citalopram for 5 weeks and had adverse effect. This is very similar to what happened to me.

 

I reinstated escitalopram for 4 weeks and same thing happened. These drugs are poisons and should never be prescribed.

 

I am so relieved for you and very hopeful in knowing that this symptom does get better. It has literally made me suicidal which is a feeling that has never been part of my life before.

 

Heat pads help however the muscles just want to move.

 

Peace and love

 

Giuliana

[Walleebug]

@Giuly88 oh yes, the reinstatement was horrible.  It caused akathisia for me.   I was 9 months off in August and I can remember I still had lots of muscle problems in my torso back and ribs.  Honestly,  I still have muscle contractions every day but they aren't as debilitating as they once were.  Mostly just random contracting all over my body now and nothing that takes my breath away.   

 

I think suicidal thoughts are quite common during withdrawal.  I've never been suicidal either but I was terrified I would do it during akathisia.  It's very hard when your body and mind are suffering so badly.  Please just know that it does get better.  I'm a year out now and it's still tough but not torturous.  It very very slowly gets better.   I have faith that others who have recovered are telling the truth.  I like to read old posts from people who've posted success stories to see how they were at 9 months or a year off.  90% of the time they were posting about the same things we are and thinking they'd never heal.  We will get there but it takes lots of time.  We are all here to help each other until it's time for our success stories. 

[Giuly88]

1 minute ago, Walleebug said:

@Giuly88 oh yes, the reinstatement was horrible.  It caused akathisia for me.   I was 9 months off in August and I can remember I still had lots of muscle problems in my torso back and ribs.  Honestly,  I still have muscle contractions every day but they aren't as debilitating as they once were.  Mostly just random contracting all over my body now and nothing that takes my breath away.   

 

I think suicidal thoughts are quite common during withdrawal.  I've never been suicidal either but I was terrified I would do it during akathisia.  It's very hard when your body and mind are suffering so badly.  Please just know that it does get better.  I'm a year out now and it's still tough but not torturous.  It very very slowly gets better.   I have faith that others who have recovered are telling the truth.  I like to read old posts from people who've posted success stories to see how they were at 9 months or a year off.  90% of the time they were posting about the same things we are and thinking they'd never heal.  We will get there but it takes lots of time.  We are all here to help each other until it's time for our success stories. 

Hi Walleebug,

 

I took escitalopram in 2026 as I was juggling work, school runs all on my own as my husband who was then working in the police in London could not help. No anxiety or depression just stressed so went to the GP and she lightly prescribed escitalopram without a warning of potential side effects or withdrawal.

 

I came off this drug after about 8 month ct because I never knew I had to wean off gradually. I started developing strange joint muscle pain discomfort, on and off hyperventilation, fatigue, inability to exercise and so on and thought I was due to perimenopause and my underactive thyroid. Then a year and a half later I started having insomnia, nocturnal jerks zaps and thought it was hormonal, anxiety etc so went back on it and symptoms gradually subsided. I was never well on it though and always felt off so after 6 months I stopped, ever since then there was a pattern of 3/4 months every time I would stop before symptoms came back which I know now to be withdrawal waves. 

 

Thank you Walleebug for your words.

 

Much love

 

Giuliana 
 

 

[Giuly88]

1 hour ago, Giuly88 said:

Hi Walleebug,

 

I took escitalopram in 2026 as I was juggling work, school runs all on my own as my husband who was then working in the police in London could not help. No anxiety or depression just stressed so went to the GP and she lightly prescribed escitalopram without a warning of potential side effects or withdrawal.

 

I came off this drug after about 8 month ct because I never knew I had to wean off gradually. I started developing strange joint muscle pain discomfort, on and off hyperventilation, fatigue, inability to exercise and so on and thought I was due to perimenopause and my underactive thyroid. Then a year and a half later I started having insomnia, nocturnal jerks zaps and thought it was hormonal, anxiety etc so went back on it and symptoms gradually subsided. I was never well on it though and always felt off so after 6 months I stopped, ever since then there was a pattern of 3/4 months every time I would stop before symptoms came back which I know now to be withdrawal waves. 

 

Thank you Walleebug for your words.

 

Much love

 

Giuliana 
 

 

I meant 2006 😊. 

[Giuly88]

Just now, Giuly88 said:

I meant 2006 😊. 

2016 😂 think I need a nap now

[Walleebug]

@Giuly88 haha.  That was funny.  Dang...two cold turkey's!  That's hard.  It's so strange how withdrawal kicks in so hard months later.  I think that's when most people try to reinstate thinking their original condition is getting worse.  It's so sad and unfortunate that doctors don't know to watch for this.   I started having crazy panic attacks at 6 weeks off.   I had no idea it was withdrawal either.  I wish I would have known because the reinstatement caused akathisia and this vibration I have in my body every day (still).  😩.  I called my doctor freaking out and she said in all her years of being a doctor she's only seen one other person react that way.  She tried prescribing me xanax, another anxiety med and another antidepressant.  Thank God I'd already found this website and knew better than to put more poison in my body. 

 

It's a rough ride but we'll make it to the other side.