Kelsears Hello 10 weeks off Zoloft with bad withdrawals

[Kelsears]

6/18-6/19 

7:00 AM	Wake		Ok slept 8 hours
8:30 AM	Feelings		Little anxious went for walk
9:30 AM	Ativan	.5mg	Felt ok
2:00 PM	Feeling		Sleepy napped
5:20 PM	Ativan	.5mg	Feeling ok headache
6:00 PM	Vitamin		vitamin D
8:00 PM	Feeling		Feel ok went for walk
9:00 PM	Zoloft	8.5mg	Feeling good
9:00 PM	Vitamins		Mag omega
6:15 AM	Wake		Ok slept just over 7 hours
8:00 AM	Feelings		Little anxious went for walk
9:45 AM	Ativan	.5	Felt ok
2:30 PM	Feeling		Sleepy napped
5:30 PM	Ativan	.5	Feeling ok
8:00 PM	Feeling		Feel good went for walk
9:00 PM	Zoloft	8.5mg	Feeling good
9:00 PM	Vitamins		Mag omega

 

I did increase by 1mg of Zoloft. Headache at first but seems good now. Last 2 days have been great. Also added in more walking which I think is helping. I will hold fir next few weeks and if all continues to be stable I will start the taper. 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

 

doctor also added organ meat supplement to help with the hashimoto which I have started yet. I’ll wait until next week to give buffer for Zoloft increase. 
 

@Shep

yes I was starting think about what taper would look like and decided I would not taper around my cycle. 

[Kelsears]

6/20

6:15 AM	Wake		Ok slept just over 7 hours
8:00 AM	Feelings		Feeling good went for walk
9:15 AM	Ativan	.5	Feeling little anxious
9:00 AM	Zoloft	4.5mg	Forgot to take meds yesterday (ugggg)
2:00 PM	Feeling		Sleepy but feeling good
6:00 PM	Ativan	.5	Feeling good
8:00 PM	Feeling		Feel good went for walk
9:00 PM	Zoloft	4mg	Feeling good
9:00 PM	Vitamins		Mag omega

 

forgot to take Zoloft night before so split my dose  yesterday. Been a 4 day window and feeling really good. 

[Kelsears]

6/20 

6:15 AM	Wake		Woke good slept 8hrs
8:00 AM	Feelings		Feeling good went for walk
9:15 AM	Ativan	.5	Feeling little anxious
2:00 PM	Feeling		Sleepy feel on edge
5:15 PM	Ativan	.5	Feeling little on edge
7:45 PM	Feeling		Feel good went for walk
8:45 PM	Zoloft	8.5mg	Feeling good
8:45 PM	Vitamins		Mag omega

 

on edge this afternoon could be from missed Zoloft dose. But overall good day. 

[Kelsears]

6/22

6:25 AM	Wake		Woke good slept 7.5hrs
8:00 AM	Feelings		Feel ok went for walk
9:05 AM	Ativan	.5	Feeling little on edge
1:45 PM	Feeling		Feeling ok very sleepy
5:00 PM	Ativan	.5	Feeling little anxious
7:30 PM	Feeling		Feel good went for walk
9:15 PM	Zoloft	8.5mg	Feeling good
9:15 PM	Vitamins		Mag omega

 

been walking twice a day which I think has really helped with the anxiousness. Over all this past week has been good. Anxious here and there but nothing I couldn’t breathe or distract myself through. The intrusive thought are becoming less also. Gosh those are the worst. Hope this window continues so I can start tapering. 

[Kelsears]

6:15 AM	Wake		Woke good slept 6.75hrs
8:00 AM	Feelings		Lots of SI thought today. ;(
9:05 AM	Ativan	.5	Terrible thought and anxious
2:00 PM	Feeling		Crying feeling like I have no purpose.
5:00 PM	Ativan	.5	Feeling sad, si thoughts
6:30 PM	Feeling		Went for walk
8:15 PM	Zoloft	8.5mg	So sad and trying to fight of the SI thoughts
8:15 PM	Vitamins		Mag omega

 

Not a good day. Depression hit today. Just felt like I had no purpose in life and nothing to look forward to. I just hate the depression waves. I’ve learned to work through the anxiety but the depression seems to over take my every thought. I do believe I’m ovulating so maybe why such a shift from the days before. 

[Greatful]

@Kelsears  Oh man I hear your pain right now.  The last few days have been pretty hard for me too.  SI thoughts,  over whelming sense of how awful this whole thing is.......Some how we have to move through the day, make it to our pillow and wait for this to pass.....As hard as it it to trust that it will pass and we are not stuck like this, the past has shown that it does pass.....

When I feel stronger I can try to reach out as a fellow MN. and maybe try to meet up.

 

We are not alone in this battle from these toxic and mind altering drugs..♥️

[Kelsears]

@Greatful

thank you for your kind words. Feeling a little better today. I just want to stable so I can come off these terrible drugs. One day at a time. I’m enjoying the rain today. 
 

hang in there and let me know if anything I can do to brighten your day. 🥰

[Kelsears]

6/25 

6:25 AM	Wake		Woke good slept 8 hrs
8:00 AM	Feelings		Took walk feeling ok
9:45 AM	Ativan	.5	Little anxious
2:00 PM	Feeling		Tired but ok
5:40 PM	Ativan	.5	Feeling ok
6:15 PM	Feeling		Went for walk
9:00 PM	Zoloft	8.5mg	Feeling good!
10:10 PM	Vitamins		Mag omega

 

it was a very good day. Even went out shopping and to lunch with a friend. 

[Kelsears]

6/26	6:30 AM	Wake		Woke ok slept 7 hours
6/26	8:00 AM	Feelings		Took walk feeling ok
6/26	9:22 AM	Ativan	.5	Little anxious
6/26	3:00 PM	Feeling		Tired but ok feeling good
6/26	5:44 PM	Ativan	.5	Feeling ok but headache
6/26	7:45 PM	Feeling		Went for walk feeling good
6/26	8:45 PM	Zoloft	8.5mg	Feeling good but tired
6/26	8:45 PM	Vitamins		Mag omega
6/27	6:45 AM	Wake		Woke heart racing slept 8.5 hours
6/27	8:00 AM	Feelings		Took walk feeling ok
6/27	9:30 AM	Ativan	.5	Feeling ok
6/27	3:00 PM	Feeling		Tired but ok feeling good
6/27	5:44 PM	Ativan	.5	Feeling ok but headache
6/27	7:00 PM	Feeling		Went for walk feeling tired
6/27	9:00 PM	Zoloft	8.5mg	Feeling good
6/27	9:00 PM	Vitamins		Mag omega
6/28	5:45 AM	Wake		Woke good slept 7hrs 15min
6/28	8:00 AM	Feelings		Took walk feeling ok
6/28	9:05 AM	Ativan	.5	Feeling little anxious
6/28	3:00 PM	Feeling		Tired little anxious
6/28	5:05 PM	Ativan	.5	Feeling little anxious and tired
6/28	7:00 PM	Feeling		Went for walk feeling tired
6/28	8:00 PM	Zoloft	8.5mg	Feeling ok tired
6/28	8:00 PM	Vitamins		Mag omega
6/29	6:00 AM	Wake		Woke good
6/29	8:00 AM	Feelings		Feeling good
6/29	10:15 AM	Ativan	.5	Feeling good
6/29	2:00 PM	Feeling		Feeling good but tired
6/29	5:05 PM	Ativan	.5	Feeling good
6/29	7:30 AM	Feeling		Tired went for walk
6/29	9:00 PM	Zoloft	8.5mg	Feeling good but tired
6/29	9:00 PM	Vitamins		Mag omega
6/30	4:50 AM	Wake		Woke good slept 6hrs 10 minutes
6/30	8:00 AM	Feelings		Feeling good walk at 6:30am
6/30	10:10 AM	Ativan	.5	Feeling good tired
6/30	3:00 PM	Feeling		Feeling good took little nap
6/30	5:15 PM	Ativan	.5	Feeling good
6/30	7:30 PM	Feeling		Tired went for walk
6/30	8:30 PM	Zoloft	8.5mg	Feel ok tired
6/30	8:30 PM	Vitamins		Mag omega
7/1	5:00 AM	Wake		Woke feeling on edge slept 6 hours 15 minutes
7/1	8:00 AM	Feelings		Feeling good walk at 6:30am
7/1	9:30 AM	Ativan	.5	Feeling little anxious
7/1	1:00 PM	Feeling		Sleepy took a nap
7/1	5:00 PM	Ativan	.5	Feeling ok
7/1	8:00 PM	Feeling		Ok took walk
7/1	9:30 PM	Zoloft	8.5mg	Ok
7/1	9:30 PM	Vitamins		Mag omega

 

I haven’t posted in a while. Been feeling good this week. Been busy with the kids doing summer things. Feels so good to actually take them out. Cycle due soon if all goes well with it I will start tapering the Ativan. 
 

i did a food study test and found foods I was eating were causing a lot of inflammation. I cut them out and been feeling much better. Anxiety has been much less. So I hope this diet and exercise helps with the tapering process.

[Shep]

@Kelsears Sounds like you're doing really well. Please check in as you get ready to start your taper. 

[jjwarf]

@Kelsears I came here to see how you are doing and it warms my heart that you seem to be stabilizing and possibly starting with a taper again! Sending lots of love and encouragement your way!

[Kelsears]

@jjwarf

you are so sweet to check in. So funny I was just thinking of you this morning on my walk. Things have been good, periods of anxiousness but able to breath through and reassure myself it’s all the withdrawals. Cycle started so that makes things a little blah but handling it much better this time around. 
 

my husband and I started walking twice a day and that seems to be really helping. 
 

I’m nervous about starting the taper from Ativan but I want off. I’ll be doing a micro taper so I’m hoping that helps ease the withdrawal symptoms. 
 

i went on an anti inflammatory diet and along with the added exercise has really helped decrease my anxiety by 50% if not more. To the point I almost keep forgetting to take my meds because I don’t feel terrible. 
 

I'm so happy that you’re finding a stable point as well. You got this!!! 

[Kelsears]

6:52 AM	Wake		Woke ok went for walk 7h16m
9:30 AM	Feelings		Feeling little anxious and strange dizziness
10:10 AM	Ativan	Day 10	Feeling ok
6:30 PM	Feeling		Feeling ok, tired,
7:15 PM	Ativan	Day 10	Feeling ok
9:00 PM	Vitamins		Brocco
7:30 PM	Feeling		Feeling ok went for walk
9:00 PM	Zoloft	10mg	Feeling ok
9:00 PM	Vitamins		Mag omega
6:50 AM	Wake		Woke ok went for walk 7h48m
10:00 AM	Vitamins		Broco,d, gold
9:30 AM	Feelings		Feeling ok
11:15 AM	Ativan	Day 11	Feeling ok
6:00 PM	Feeling		Feeling ok
7:15 PM	Ativan	Day 11	Feeling ok
8:00 PM	Feeling		Feeling ok went for walk
9:45 PM	Zoloft	10mg	Feeling ok
9:45 PM	Vitamins		Mag omega organ
6:40 AM	Wake		Woke ok went for walk 6h1m
9:45 AM	Vitamins		Broco, b6, organ
10:00 AM	Feelings		Feeling ok
11:10 AM	Ativan	Day 12	Feeling ok
5:00 PM	Feeling		Feeling little anxious
6:50 PM	Ativan	Day 12	Feeling ok
7:10 PM	Feeling		Feeling ok went for walk
8:45 PM	Zoloft	10mg	Feeling ok
8:45 PM	Vitamins		Mag omega organ black seed
6:40 AM	Wake		Woke ok went for walk 7h 24m
9:45 AM	Vitamins		Broco, organ
10:00 AM	Feelings		Feeling ok
11:25 AM	Ativan	Day 13	Feeling ok
4:00 PM	Feeling		Feeling good
6:45 PM	Ativan	Day 13	Feeling ok
7:15 PM	Feeling		Feeling ok went for walk
8:45 PM	Zoloft	10mg	Feeling ok
8:45 PM	Vitamins		Mag omega organ black seed
6:26 AM	Wake		Woke ok went for walk 7h57m
8:45 AM	Vitamins		Broco, organ, b6
9:00 AM	Feelings		Feeling ok
10:40 AM	Ativan	Day 14	Feeling ok
5:00 PM	Feeling		Feeling good
7:00 PM	Ativan	Day 14	Feeling ok
8:00 PM	Feeling		Feeling ok went for walk
8:50 PM	Zoloft	10mg	Feeling ok
8:50 PM	Vitamins		Mag omega organ black seed

 

I started the Ativan taper fews weeks

ago. Things are going well! There’s are Days here and there I hold but that’s usually around my cycle. 
they’re has been days I feel no anxiousness and forget to take meds at my dose time. So I had to start setting a timer. 

[Shep]

On 6/17/2023 at 9:22 AM, Kelsears said:

9:00 PM Zoloft 7.5 Crying 

 

 

On 7/2/2023 at 11:23 AM, Kelsears said:

6/30 8:30 PM Zoloft 8.5mg Feel ok tired 

 

13 hours ago, Kelsears said:

8:50 PM Zoloft 10mg Feeling ok 

 

Please update your signature with your Zoloft and Ativan changes - you currently have 7.5 mg Zoloft as of May13th as the last line in your signature, but you've been steadily increasing the Zoloft as you're tapering the Ativan. 

 

I'm glad you're doing well, but if you do run into problems, it's going to be very hard to access what is causing what due to making changes to both drugs. 

 The rule of 3KIS: Keep it simple. Keep it slow. Keep it stable.

Also,  upping the SSRI while reducing the benzo may cause the stimulating side effects of the SSRI to become much more pronounced. 

 

Taking multiple psych drugs? Which drug to taper first?

 

You take Zoloft at night, so you may be someone who is sedated by this drug, so this may not be as much of an issue. However, if this is the case, you may be upping the Zoloft dose as a way of masking the withdrawal effects of the benzo as you continue to taper the Ativan. 

 

I remember you wanted to get off the benzo first due to a possible connection to a thyroid issue, but I just wanted to mention these issues and to caution against too many changes at one time, as thyroid symptoms can be very similar to withdrawal symptoms. 

[Kelsears]

@Shep

I hope you’re doing well! oh yes I’ll update my signature. Thanks for the reminder. 
 

Im not increasing Zoloft and decreasing Ativan. I leveled out on 10mg of the Zoloft before I started the decrease of Ativan I wouldn’t dare do that sounds too risky. 
increased to 9.5 Ativan on 7/2, then to 10 on 7/9. Started Ativan taper on 8/1. I thought 3 weeks would be enough time between increase and taper. 

 

[Kelsears]

@shep 

did I do something wrong? Was 3 weeks not enough time between the increase of the Zoloft and the decrease of the Ativan? I was feeling stable. 
 

I thought I was Increasing the Zoloft slowly. Took me from may 13 to July 8 to go up 2.5 mg. 
 

your last post really made me upset. I thought I was following the generalized rules. Took me 5 months to increase the Zoloft to 10mg. That 1 mg every 2 weeks and I think recommendation was to go up 1mg every week until stable. I Felt most stable I have been so I held 3 week before I started tapering the Ativan at micro dosing of 0.067 mg. 
 

what did I do wrong? 

[RachelSusan]

@Kelsears I wanted to drop by and offer emotional support.  You and Shep will work out the details of your taper of Ativan and previous changes in Zoloft.  You've got a great moderator helping you.  I did want to say though, that these drugs are very difficult and don't often react the same way in every single person, especially if a person has had previous withdrawal problems. Quite often even a very small change can sadly effect us in a big way.  Don't blame yourself, you made what you thought was a safe choice, and it turned out that it caused you some problems. You will now work with Shep and figure out where to go from here.  I will repeat myself again, please don't beat yourself up, just walk away from this episode saying that you learned a little more about these drugs and the situation we all find ourselves in.  I can't tell you the amount of times I haven't waited long enough between changes or I made a cut that I though was small and it made we very sick. We have all done it.  You are going to be alright. This will settle down. You have Shep on your side.  You have all of us rooting for you.  You will be OK.

Edited August 24, 2023 by RachelSusan

[Shep]

@Kelsears Please don't take this as a "right or wrong" conversation. This is about giving you as much information, as much informed consent, as possible as you travel the road of withdrawal and recovery. If you weren't interested in furthering your education and exploring options, I don't think you would be here continuing to post and to engage. So you're doing what you need to do. 

 

18 hours ago, Kelsears said:

I thought I was Increasing the Zoloft slowly. Took me from may 13 to July 8 to go up 2.5 mg. 
 

 

18 hours ago, Kelsears said:

Took me 5 months to increase the Zoloft to 10mg.

 

My thinking process was coming from looking at this part of your signature:

 

Quote

 

March 2023 -current .5mg Ativan daily 

May 2023 .5mg am and .5mg pm Ativan 

2/25/23-reinstated 1.5mg liquid Zoloft

7/8 10mg liquid Zoloft 

8/1 started Ativan taper 0.067mg daily 

 

 

Over the past 5 months, you have not only increased the Zoloft, but you went from taking Ativan periodically, then developing a dependency and needing it every day, to doubling the Ativan dose. Ativan is a potent benzo, 10 times more potent than Valium, so this wasn't a minor change. 

 

It's possible that some of the benefits you're attributing to the Zoloft may be from the Ativan. This is a problem that happens frequently with polypharmacy. 

 

Only giving this 3 weeks before starting to get off the benzo may not be enough time to access and give yourself a solid enough baseline. Also, you're navigating around your cycle, so this isn't enough time to know how your symptoms are going to manifest around that timeframe without giving it at least a full month or better yet, a longer hold time to really see where you're at.

 

Anyways, this dialogue isn't meant as criticism, but simply to add context. You really have done an amazing job of stabilizing and my hope is that you'll keep this high baseline the rest of the way through your journey. You may be able to decrease the Ativan partially and then switch to getting off the Zoloft. This will reduce the side effects of the benzo, but still allow you keep it in your cocktail to help with the Zoloft taper, especially if you find the Ativan helps with sleep. 

 

[Kelsears]

@Shep

im sorry Im just really sensitive since all this happened and I just never know which direction to go. I feel like I’m doing everything wrong. The increase in the Ativan was attempt from my doctor to keep me out of the hospital. I was in really really bad place not eating losing 5lbs a week, suicidal, I was barely hanging on. 
 

since posting I have been holding and I think I will for awhile. I hit a wave this week with my cycle and it’s reminded me that I need more time to figure this all out. I’m scared of everything. 
 

my doctor want me to start taking LDN and chaste berry. LDN for the hashimotos but I’m trying to regulate it with diet which is also overwhelming. Chaste berry because I took hormone test and I have barely any estrogen in my body and not testosterone. I’m scared to death and overwhelmed thinking this could make symptoms worse.

 

sorry just needed to vent.  

[Kelsears]

@RachelSusan

Thank you for your kind words. This is soooooo hard. I just want to do it all right with as little disruption as I can. your drug history seem very similar to one. Take these drug everyday make me so mad. I have to force myself. Just praying I’ll wake one day and my body will have it figured out. 
 

im extremely overwhelmed with everything. My body is breaking down and I not sure how to stop it. All I hear is take this and this and this and this. I’m terrified to do anything. And now I’m terrified to eat because of the hashimoto. 
 

my biggest withdrawal symptom right now is depression and the Zoloft seems to help with that but not the Ativan that’s why I chose to taper Ativan first. I think I’m just going to hold for a couple months. See if I can stabilize even more. 
 

thank you again! 

[RachelSusan]

@Kelsears I feel so bad for you.  I can't give advice on what to do, nor have you asked, but if you need a supportive person just to listen, I am here for you.  I have survived Zoloft, I am currently on hold with my Gabapentin taper, but mostly I have been through the withdrawal h*ll that you are currently going through. It is indeed very hard and I can relate to all your comments.

 

Hang in there. I really believe that with a hold things will get a lot better for you. Your feelings will stabilize and it will be easier for you to make whatever decisions you need to make for yourself.

 

 

[Kelsears]

@RachelSusan

thank you so much! It’s nice to have someone who understands. My husband is very supportive but just doesn’t get how terrible I feel. 

[Shep]

10 hours ago, Kelsears said:

since posting I have been holding and I think I will for awhile. I hit a wave this week with my cycle and it’s reminded me that I need more time to figure this all out. I’m scared of everything. 

 

When it doubt, holding is a good choice to make. With the increases in Zoloft and changes in Ativan over the past 5 months or so, you haven't really given your nervous system time to catch up. At the same time, you've also reported some good windows. So it looks like you're going through the normal windows and waves process. 

 

Perhaps hold a couple of months and see where you're at. 

[Kelsears]

@Shep

i think I got overly excited about 2 good months that I thought I was ready. I’m prepared to hold for couple more months. This cycle has proven my nervous system isnt ready. This will also elevate some stress of tapering and trying to figure out this hashimoto diagnosis. 
 

thank you for all your guidance 

[jjwarf]

@Kelsears just stopped by to cheer you on! Hope you are doing well

[Kelsears]

@jjwarf

thanks hun! I hope you’re doing well. I’m having good and bad days. Trying to stay positive that one day I’ll be me again.  
 

how are you doing? 

[jjwarf]

@Kelsears pretty much the same here! Good days and bad. I'm grateful its usually more good than bad. We will be ourselves again! We can get through this!

[Kelsears]

Quick update: holding on Ativan taper. Last 2 weeks have been great. Very little to no anxiety or crying. I’ve even been able to volunteer at my children’s school. Been keeping busy with 2 walks a day and canning produce from my garden. I even been able to sew a couple outfits. I haven’t sewn since January and I use to sew everyday. So that feels like a good step in the right direction. Still wish I could get off these meds to fully heal. But in time! 
 

I hope you’re all doing well!! 

[Shep]

Brilliant update, @Kelsears. 

[Kelsears]

Just a check in. Been holding feeling pretty good. Some unpleasant symptoms lately like vertigo, lightheadedness that last for hours (Trying to drink more fluids that’s seems to be helping that), sharp pain in my head and a skin rash. 
My cycle this month is off currently it’s a week late. I wondering if it’s due to possibly having Covid a couple weeks ago. 
Still walking 60 minutes a day this is helping with the depression lows. 
Anxiety changes day to day. Some days I feel none. Other days it just hanging there all day long. Keeping busy usually helps this.

I had 5 skin biopsies yesterday hoping I’m still cancer free. 
That’s all for now! I hope everyone have a great day. 

 

[Shep]

@Kelsears Glad to read you're holding as you navigate your way through some outside stressors. Hope all goes well with the biopsies. That will take a lot of stress off for sure. 

[Kelsears]

why do my cycle make this soooo terrible? I’ve been crying for 2 days straight. Everything hurts I want to give up. It drains everything from me. Days like today i cant even stand to look at my meds. I just want to throw them across the room. Everything is so triggering. There has been so much death around me and my brain keeps telling me I’m next. 
It’s been almost a year since this hell started. I think that triggering something in me. It’s like I’m reliving it all over again. I keep thinking why me? Why can’t I just feel normal again? Am I going to end up in hospital again? Am I really losing my mind? What are my children going to think of me if I go crazy? Am I going to end up in a psych hospital for the rest of my life? 
I’m trying to remind myself better days will come but these waves seem deeper and deeper. My fight getting weaker and wearier. My body getting weaker and weaker. 
I just want to feel joy and love again. 
 

So sorry for the depressing post. 

[jjwarf]

@Kelsears I know how you're feeling with being severely affected by your cycle. I am so sorry that you are feeling this way and going through this. You are not alone though! It is not going to feel like this forever. All of these feelings do eventually change. I'm here anytime if you need support or someone to talk to.

[Kelsears]

@jjwarf

 

thanks hun today been a little better. Still feeling off lightheaded and exhausted. Same goes for you here to chat anytime.