PearlsMom1979: Boiling Rage/Anger and Cognitive Decline

[manymoretodays]

Hi PearlsMom1979, 

 

It sounds like good good progress with Pearl.

I don't know that we or I can answer all your questions.  Does she respond to anyone else verbally?  A sibling or even another adult caretaker? 

 

I presently live alone and so will sometimes talk out loud my thoughts...... if that helps.  I mean not real frequently, but even while I type I might get a sense of how it reads by talking it also.....if that makes sense.  I know Pearl doesn't live alone, but is "in her head" perhaps a bit more than you are or understand.....I don't know, which might explain the why of what she says.  Likely she misses her old friend and perhaps is reminiscing?  Maybe just acknowledge that she said something and don't over-analyze.  Do you think she might be angry at you at all?  I don't remember being 10 that well, I do have a niece who is though....or great niece, and she's cool, pretty aware.  And sensitive.  Poor Pearl was led to believe something was wrong with her at 10, that needed fixing.  There is that going on, along with her healing and recovery, and very much a part of it.  I'd help her feel okay about herself now, in the way you respond to her.....if it was me.  Even tell her that she's the best, as you may tell all your kids. 

 

So she went on the drug(s) for crying?  I mean initially.  And keep in mind that she is recovering from almost 2 years of drugging.......now at about 6 months off.  She's doing great I think.  Lord, those AP's can be challenging to fully developed adult brains, as can the WD from be.  Personally, I think the younger brains may be even more neuroplastic, or resilient......and so I feel really hopeful about Pearl and her healing and recovery.  She sounds very unique, in some good ways too.......said by another maybe "too often in my head" person.  🙂  💜

 

And best.  L, P, H, and G,

mmt

 

 

 

Edited August 26, 2023 by manymoretodays

[PearlsMom1979]

33 minutes ago, manymoretodays said:

Hi PearlsMom1979, 

 

It sounds like good good progress with Pearl.

I don't know that we or I can answer all your questions.  Does she respond to anyone else verbally?  A sibling or even another adult caretaker? 

 

I presently live alone and so will sometimes talk out loud my thoughts...... if that helps.  I mean not real frequently, but even while I type I might get a sense of how it reads by talking it also.....if that makes sense.  I know Pearl doesn't live alone, but is "in her head" perhaps a bit more than you are or understand.....I don't know, which might explain the why of what she says.  Likely she misses her old friend and perhaps is reminiscing?  Maybe just acknowledge that she said something and don't over-analyze.  Do you think she might be angry at you at all?  I don't remember being 10 that well, I do have a niece who is though....or great niece, and she's cool, pretty aware.  And sensitive.  Poor Pearl was led to believe something was wrong with her at 10, that needed fixing.  There is that going on, along with her healing and recovery, and very much a part of it.  I'd help her feel okay about herself now, in the way you respond to her.....if it was me.  Even tell her that she's the best, as you may tell all your kids. 

 

So she went on the drug(s) for crying?  I mean initially.  And keep in mind that she is recovering from almost 2 years of drugging.......now at about 6 months off.  She's doing great I think.  Lord, those AP's can be challenging to fully developed adult brains, as can the WD from be.  Personally, I think the younger brains may be even more neuroplastic, or resilient......and so I feel really hopeful about Pearl and her healing and recovery.  She sounds very unique, in some good ways too.......said by another maybe "too often in my head" person.  🙂  💜

 

And best.  L, P, H, and G,

mmt

 

 

 

Thank you MMT for your kind response

She was not given drugs against her will but then she was just 10 only at that time and was not sure about taking or not taking it. Further we understood the harmful nature of these drugs within few months and started tapering it then. So it was not against her will actually.

But still one of the main symptoms during her withdrawal has been rage and anger.

 

As to your other question, she does answer to her father and siblings as well.

 

She is not in contact with any of her friends since she has stopped going to school from last one year so cannot say about her behaviour with anyone else other than family at this stage.

 

For now we are just waiting and observing, to see any sign if she needs or wants anything. So far she does not seem to want to go out. Sometimes we do take her for walks to park but she does not enjoy it much.

 

We are continuing with yoga and mild exercise though.

[manymoretodays]

Hi PearlsMom1979,

 

22 hours ago, PearlsMom1979 said:

She was not given drugs against her will but then she was just 10 only at that time and was not sure about taking or not taking it. Further we understood the harmful nature of these drugs within few months and started tapering it then. So it was not against her will actually.

But still one of the main symptoms during her withdrawal has been rage and anger.

I sure hope I did not come off sounding blaming.  We all do the best we can, with the knowledge we have.  I only have one child, and was on a MAOI type AD for my entire pregnancy.  He's an adult now, doing fine......I mean I really think he is.  And although the drug(s) may or may not have affected his neuro and brain development......I have to believe in neuroplasticity and that he was able to bounce back himself from whatever effects there were.  And.  It was really a harsh, doctor advised WD I had, when I came off the MAOI.  I'm so glad I did not attempt to while pregnant.  And at that time I was not aware of any information for safer, harm reduction tapering.  Riles me up a bit to know.......that "they" knew or should have plenty about WD from these types of drugs back then even.  And I should have been told, given information up front before ever taking a pill or many.  I did find an article published in the late 80's, or early 90's about WD from MAOI's, shortly after I arrived here.

Anyway, thanks.....I still need to vent every now and then!

 

I think you are doing everything you could/can with Pearl.  AND.  Again, good progress that you are seeing.  Do you home school her now then?  Any of your others that you home school with too?

 

In my prayers, for Pearls speedier recovery......it can be so challenging in today's world to sit around and wait, I know.........

 

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

[PearlsMom1979]

1 hour ago, manymoretodays said:

Hi PearlsMom1979,

 

I sure hope I did not come off sounding blaming.  We all do the best we can, with the knowledge we have.  I only have one child, and was on a MAOI type AD for my entire pregnancy.  He's an adult now, doing fine......I mean I really think he is.  And although the drug(s) may or may not have affected his neuro and brain development......I have to believe in neuroplasticity and that he was able to bounce back himself from whatever effects there were.  And.  It was really a harsh, doctor advised WD I had, when I came off the MAOI.  I'm so glad I did not attempt to while pregnant.  And at that time I was not aware of any information for safer, harm reduction tapering.  Riles me up a bit to know.......that "they" knew or should have plenty about WD from these types of drugs back then even.  And I should have been told, given information up front before ever taking a pill or many.  I did find an article published in the late 80's, or early 90's about WD from MAOI's, shortly after I arrived here.

Anyway, thanks.....I still need to vent every now and then!

 

I think you are doing everything you could/can with Pearl.  AND.  Again, good progress that you are seeing.  Do you home school her now then?  Any of your others that you home school with too?

 

In my prayers, for Pearls speedier recovery......it can be so challenging in today's world to sit around and wait, I know.........

 

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

Hey not at all you did not sound blaming at all.

Please don't let such thoughts even cross your mind.

You have been the most kind and helpful member of this forum , you and ofcourse our dear @Altostrata so please don't worry about such thing at all

 

I understand your need to vent. It's important for all of us and as parents especially mothers we are prone to feeling guilty time to time. 

 

Although at the time pearl was given these medicines I was totally clueless about their harm and had no idea what kind of hell we all are going to enter, I still feel guilty that somehow it's my mistake that my child had taken those pills and her fertile brain is now ruined.

 

Anyways enough venting at my end also:)

 

And to other question, no my other kids are going to regular school only and I really hope my Pearl to join regular school again if possible at all. She used to love being in school and all her activities done along with studies. Now she is at home full time. She is not exactly home schooling also as she was totally non verbal from one year so it's a sort of break in studies.

Now she has started talking a little bit, so we will observe for some time and maybe in near future by God's grace we will be able to restart her education again.

 

Thank you again for your time, response, kindness and encouragement, it means a lot :)

 

[PearlsMom1979]

Update:

 

Pearl is able to do better conversations(still small but she is talking in sentences again).

 

She is now asking questions and expressing her feelings, not very clearly but some words she is able to put together and we are able to easily understand what she is trying to convey. It's much much better than complete silence of last one year.

 

It seems her memory was actually really blurred. She is asking her study related questions and remembering names, topics, places we visited etc.

 

Now she is able to express it in better way so we are finally able to understand her.

 

We are continuing mild exercise and yoga.

 

These updates I am posting for my records and to keep a track of our progress as well.

 

When I read my first message in my post and then reach till last message, I am able to revisit our journey.

 

Love this forum and prayers for all of us.

 

 

 

 

[PearlsMom1979]

Update:

 

Our main withdrawal symptoms were:

Boiling rage

Completely mute

Cognitive decline and brain fog with lots of confusion

 

Pearl started speaking again in August 2023, which was almost after 6 months of being zero drug.

 

Her cognition seems to be getting slightly better as observed by me when I do small puzzles with her.

 

She is able to read and write normally now.

 

She is reading a lot without being coaxed.

 

She is able to talk properly if she is in mood.

 

However, after almost 2 months of peacefullness and almost normal days, the boiling rage is back.

 

It's been one week of utter hell again with banging and throwing stuff especially at me.

 

When it started she did not sleep for 4 nights non-stop. Now thankfully from 3 nights sleep is coming back.

 

She is not eating well and we feel there is almost zero appetite no matter what we offer on plate.

 

Is this a wave?

 

As per the experience of friends here, roughly how long this could be?

 

Any advise/guidance is desparately required.

We are worried about her physical health as well. Not eating happens very rarely with her.

 

 

 

 

[Nocturna]

Hi PearlsMom1979,

It sounds like you both did awesome work at helping your daughter come off from those drugs! Not sure how relevant my experience is, but I've been taking APs for 7 years now (with some pauses) and each dose reduction brings a new set of challenges. Since they blunt literally all emotions, emotional regulation after stopping them is getting really hard and sometimes I have to relearn basic things like being polite and nice to my closest ones. As to how long it lasts, I'm hopeful that Pearl's young age might help her go quicker through this. My experience as an adult is that it can be weeks of ups and downs (one day being normal, the other day me wanting a divorce over the smallest thing..) On the other hand, Pearl is close to her teenage years, so maybe hormones are naturally getting unstable now.

How is sleep recently? 4 days with no sleep might boost everyone's dopamine to the sky, making them super nervous and reactive. Crossing fingers your daughter gets good natural sleep regularly! (The weather getting colder might help btw)

[PearlsMom1979]

On 10/22/2023 at 8:24 AM, Nocturna said:

Hi PearlsMom1979,

It sounds like you both did awesome work at helping your daughter come off from those drugs! Not sure how relevant my experience is, but I've been taking APs for 7 years now (with some pauses) and each dose reduction brings a new set of challenges. Since they blunt literally all emotions, emotional regulation after stopping them is getting really hard and sometimes I have to relearn basic things like being polite and nice to my closest ones. As to how long it lasts, I'm hopeful that Pearl's young age might help her go quicker through this. My experience as an adult is that it can be weeks of ups and downs (one day being normal, the other day me wanting a divorce over the smallest thing..) On the other hand, Pearl is close to her teenage years, so maybe hormones are naturally getting unstable now.

How is sleep recently? 4 days with no sleep might boost everyone's dopamine to the sky, making them super nervous and reactive. Crossing fingers your daughter gets good natural sleep regularly! (The weather getting colder might help btw)

@Nocturna Thank you so much for stopping by and for your kind response!

 

Yes this was a wave as I discovered after almost 8 days of hell. There was no other explanation and Pearl started calming down on her own and at the end of day 12, she was again perfectly cool and calm.

 

It's been almost 15 days now, the wave has passed and things are again fine.

 

You are right about hormones, as it was the problem initially which gave her emotional issues and rather than looking deeply into the same and advising any blood tests or other diagnosis, the doctor straight away started her on antidepressants. That caused further problems and created a vicious cycle which we are still trying to break completely.

 

Sometimes I wish I could understand what is going through in Pearl's mind so that I can support her.

 

Although she is talking now but sometimes she herself does not understand what is happening and that could also be causing some anger.

 

Being a child she does not understand so many things and I am unable to explain it sometimes resulting both of us frustrated in each other or in ourselves.

 

Although it seems she is far far better that from where we started, she is still not in a condition to go back to her school. So she feels trapped and bored and cut off from the world.

But her mood goes just like you explained in your post. One day she is the best behaved kid and next day she has plain murder in her mind. 

We all know no one can predict it how each day will be. So regular school has to wait for some more time. This is another reason for her irritation. 

 

Withdrawal is pure hell, no matter what age group, it is difficult.

 

It's really nice of you to find time and respond , when you are going through so much at your end.

 

Praying and wishing a smooth taper and finally full recovery for you and all of us here...

[PearlsMom1979]

Another update:

Another wave has hit from 20th November, with anger and weird behaviour and almost no sleep again for 3 nights.

Thankfully this time anger was manageable as compared to last time.

However, she is again not eating from one week.

Sleep has come back after 3 nights. Now she is sleeping again from 4 nights 

Nonsense weird talk seems lesser now and is answering more sensibly.

Last time wave had passed after 13 days 

This time she seems to be getting back to herself after 8 days

Updating here for my records

Prayers for all of you here and wishing us all speedy recovery from withdrawal hell.

God bless 🙏

[Greatful]

@PearlsMom1979  Thank goodness your daughter has a mother taking time to understand these drugs and doing everything to help her.  

Take time for yourself.  Practice a lot of self love and care.    One day this will be all behind you.  Thank you for the updates.  Hopefully this will help another family with a child going through this.  

[PearlsMom1979]

18 hours ago, Greatful said:

@PearlsMom1979  Thank goodness your daughter has a mother taking time to understand these drugs and doing everything to help her.  

Take time for yourself.  Practice a lot of self love and care.    One day this will be all behind you.  Thank you for the updates.  Hopefully this will help another family with a child going through this.  

Thank you @Greatfulfor your kind comments.

But I don't understand anything at all, otherwise in the first place I would not have given these drugs to my child.

 

It's been 9 months of being zero drug and she is still not completely back to her original self.

 

The worst part about these waves is when she stops sleeping and eating.

 

Sleep has come back after 3 nights but appetite is not yet back.

 

It's so painful to see her like this.

 

But thank God for this forum and wonderful people who created this and are now running, I get daily encouragement by simply reading the posts , it gives me strength to go on ..

Lots of blessings and Wishing you and everyone else a speedy recovery 💖

 

 

[Doctorsrcrap]

I hope going into December your little pearl gets a Christmas miracle come her way. 

 

Keep going. Stay strong 

[PearlsMom1979]

On 11/28/2023 at 10:48 PM, Doctorsrcrap said:

I hope going into December your little pearl gets a Christmas miracle come her way. 

 

Keep going. Stay strong 

Thank you @Doctorsrcrap

Wishing you the same , a very nice wonderful merry Christmas, with lots of positivity:)

The wave which she was going through starting 20th November has finally passed...

She is again happy and relaxed

Bits and traces of anger keep on coming but that is in routine from few months.

Hoping for speedy recovery and Prayers for all of us 🙏

 

[PearlsMom1979]

Update:

After her recent wave which passed by end of November, Pearl hit another wave very soon, around 7th December. She stopped sleeping and eating again. She starting talking non stop (full day and night) about random stuff. Thankfully not much of an anger this time.

 

Another good thing is that wave passed quickly this time, by around 15th December.

 

From 16th December, she is again sleeping through the night for around 10 hours. She is eating well. She is not talking nonsense now. Behaviour is good, almost like her original self.

 

However, she is sleeping much more than her normal sleep. She sleeps around 10 hours at night and around 2 hours in afternoon. Plus full day she wants to watch TV only or she wants to go out. She is refusing to study at all.

 

Should I wait for her interest in studies to come back or should I try to coax her?

Some of us in withdrawal do have to push ourselves sometimes initially to bring our life on track. But Pearl is just 13 so I am not sure about anything.

 

Also this long sleep hours is it a good sign or it's another warning coming around?

 

[Doctorsrcrap]

I'm no expert but I believe the brain can do its best healing when it is resting so maybe sleep it was she needs right now. I would say as long as she is getting some exercise daily too then I wouldn't worry to much about her sleeping. I would only worry about her sleeping so much if you think she is using it as a way to escape reality. I think she is probably just catching up on some well needed rest. 

I would probably say everything is balance. There is no harm in coaxing her to study after all that's probably a good thing but just be careful not to over whelm I suppose. 

You know your little the girl the best..

As I say I'm not expert. Just my thoughts on the situation.

I'm sure someone with better knowledge will be along to give their insight. 

[LotusRising]

5 hours ago, PearlsMom1979 said:

Also this long sleep hours is it a good sign or it's another warning coming around?

 

I would tend to agree with @Doctorsrcrap .

 

Also, as the mother of a 13 year old, I can tell you that 8-10 hours is a normal amount of sleep needed at this age, so it could just be that she's returning to a normal sleep pattern.

[PearlsMom1979]

@Doctorsrcrap, @LotusRising

Thank you both for your kind and encouraging words and apologies for such a late reply. I am feeling a bit low these days.

 

After the last wave which passed on 15th December, things are going well so far.

She sleeps good and as advised by you both I let her sleep now, as much as she needs.

 

Her behaviour is also good most of the time. She communicates well now.

 

Very rarely her anger shows itself but then it's very normal type angry reaction and not the boiling rage type.

 

We have noticed that she reacts with anger only when we suggest her going back to school.

We are still trying to work it out how to gently convince her for school as she gets angry at the mere mention of it.

 

Her brain fog and mental confusion still remains. There is improvement but it is not completely resolved yet.

 

[Doctorsrcrap]

@PearlsMom1979

Maybe she doesn't want to return to school because of the brain fog and mental confusion? Maybe she feels the other children would notice? Just a thought. 

Maybe try to find out what about returning to school upsets her? Say you are trying to understand it from her side and make it clear there is no pressure, you just want to understand better. 

 

I'm glad to hear there is improvement. 

 

Happy new year 

[Nocturna]

+1 to what Doctorsrcrap said. My thought was maybe she didn't like something at school, e.g. some friend who turned into a bad friend or some pressure from the teachers?

 

Also happy to hear about the mood improvements and happy new year to your family! 🤗

[PearlsMom1979]

@Doctorsrcrap, @Nocturna

Thank you so much for your comments and advise

You both are correct

In the beginning when she was wrongly diagnosed and put on antidepressants, after around few months on AD and AP she started feeling harmful effects but being a child she was unable to comprehend it. I could notice it but all these changes whenever I discussed with doctor, rather than admitting it being the effect of medicines, it was labelled as her so called disease, resulting in higher dose.

This went on and on for few months, till I understood that something is not right and put my foot down and refused to up the dose any further.

Long story short, she was bullied and ridiculed in that phase by peers as she was already getting zombie effect and cog decline and brain fog.

It was the darkest phase for our family.

She was not herself, she was made to sit with some of the biggest bullies in class, her two best friends fell out with each other and with her as well. That year she also had the worst and extremely careless and strict teacher, who provided zero support despite the fact that i raised complains multiple times about bullying.

And then in August 2022 I lost my mother.

Pearl was close too her and she stopped going to school and stopped talking after that.

Anyways All that is past now, things are slowly coming back to normal

 

But unfortunately school and studies are not coming back yet. Brain fog and cognitive decline is still visible. She does read a story or chapter but nothing much in entire day.

 

We have changed her school last year and put her in a much better school where they understand her problem and are ready to support in whichever way we need.

But Pearl is still not ready to try it out.

 

Ofcourse we are not putting any pressure on her and are giving her time , it's been more than one year now she has not been to school.

 

But the thing is unless she tries it out she won't know how different is this school environment than her previous one.

[Nocturna]

So sorry to hear about the other children's cruel attitude.. unfortunately children can be very dismissive when they feel someone is different. I know how bullying feels, both first- and second-hand, and changing the environment (e.g. school) can be a life saver! It's just that it might become that your daughter then becomes over-reactive and defensive, if she's afraid to get bullied again.

 

Something that you might try out is finding a kid or two from her new school that live nearby your house and hanging out with them and their parents, so that she gets to know them in advance. This way she'll be in protected environment (together with you), but still get a chance to meet them and get acquainted. Then she might start with more confidence and more hope.

[PearlsMom1979]

@Nocturna thank you so much and I am sorry about your bullying experience as well

It is a very good idea , we will try to implement and see if it helps.

Hopefully this will reduce the fear she has developed from peers.

She has associated school with bullying and does not want to go back to school at all. But some part in her mind misses the school environment and her friends as well. We feel she wants to go but is afraid as well. 

We are hopeful if she gives a try to her new school maybe she will realise that not all schools are same

We will definitely try it out as you have suggested, thank you so much again.

[Doctorsrcrap]

I think what @Nocturna said is a great idea. A good way to get her to know some people before she goes. 

It may well be that if she still feels she isn't cognitively where she should that her peers will notice and the same thing will happen again. 

I think gently gently is the key approach here. Maybe as she recovers more she will gain more confidence in herself. She has been through a lot and any of us would be apprehensive. 

I would definitely look at arranging some social time for her. 

 

[PearlsMom1979]

@Doctorsrcrap

Thank you again, yes I agree, we are trying to find students of same school in our locality.

She does realise that cognitive decline is there.

It is for sure one of the reasons of her refusing the school.

 

We do work with her whenever we can, take her out for walks, do yoga, read and do simple sums. At her own she does watch videos, TV shows and sometimes read some story. Most of the time she is lying down or sleeping.

 

It's 11 months being medicine free now, situation is not changing much in terms of lack of interest in education or general activities.

 

It could be due to withdrawal that she has lost her motivation and will power. Or maybe she is simply got into this habit now, full day resting not doing anything, we are not able to differentiate.

 

Hopefully we will find some kids of new school nearby and try to make her friends so that she feels motivated enough to try her new school.

[PearlsMom1979]

Updating for self records:

In December 2023, we had encountered two brief waves

I forgot to update then at that time, so doing now for my own records 

In first wave she again stopped eating and sleeping. There was no saliva formation and she was unable to chew any food at all. Thankfully it had lasted only 4 days at that time and by 5th day her appetite and sleep was back to normal.

 

After this brief wave, in another 2 weeks, she had another wave in which only appetite was zero and sleep was not effected at all. Again there was no saliva formation, totally dry mouth and not able to chew solid food. This time she continued to sleep normally. Thankfully this too lasted only 3 days.

 

After that it's almost one month now, so far things seem fine.

 

However, we are still too far from being back to normal.

 

She continues to talk meaningless in between and repeats few things sometimes, like trying to recall something. 

 

Her memory is coming back day by day

She is able to recall few things from her school course which she had completely forgotten.

 

She communicates much better and thankfully she has started demanding little bit as well. For example she will ask for particular food if she wants to eat something.

 

She is reading more stories and news these days and asking for going out almost every day. If weather permits, we are taking her whenever she demands and otherwise also. 

 

God knows for how much time it will take but we are hoping to save her school year if at all possible.

 

For the first time in last two years, we have hope in our family, we do feel finally that healing is happening for sure, even if it's very slow, but it's happening.

 

Sending love and Prayers for all of us here, we all will win our battles for sure! 

 

[Oaktree1]

You seem to be a great mum and a tower of support and love to your daughter.

 

My tuppence worth.  As someone who was severely bullied for 5 years of my adolescence I would say thing:- I think it would be good if she got advice on how to deal with bullies now.  Maybe that is one of the reasons why she is so withdrawn apart from the drugs.  If you get bullied badly enough you get socially phobic (i'm a recluse now).  Girl /female bullies are harder to deal with than men in my experience because women are subtler and use exclusion.  Regardless going forward she needs active help on how to stand up for herself.  I never got it and my whole life was ruined - running constantly away from bullies all my life and not being able to stand up for myself.   I look at resources on Youtube which are helpful - I don't think counsellors or psychotherapists are great in my experience ( they were absolutely useless to me at any rate) but perhaps if you looked when she is a bit stronger for someone specifically that could build up her confidence vis a vis nasty horrible people of which they are a lot in this world and to survive she will have to deal with them.  The earlier the better I think.  Thank goodness you are present to her needs at the formative years when it will make a huge difference to her.   You are doing a wonderful job (from what I read here) as a mother.

[arbor]

My heartfelt best to you, your family, and of course, Pearl.🙏

Arbor

[PearlsMom1979]

@Oaktree1, @arbor Thank you both for your kindness and encouraging words, it means a lot when someone takes time to read and suggest helpful tips, it really means a lot 

@Nocturna thanks a ton for your personal message and help , I am going to start using it from today itself 

 

In our case also , counselling was not of much help ever.

Till the time Pearl is not completely receptive, she will not be able to implement counsellor suggestions, I tried asking our past counsellors this, but none of them could answer to our query and we quit after some time.

So far yoga and mild exercise have been much more healing for her than any other thing and ofcourse time has been a factor as with time, she is getting better, even if we don't do anything at all.

 

I am afraid I have been unsuccessful in preparing her how to face bullies , I frankly don't know how to practically put this thing in her mind that she does not need to fear and we all are with her always.

 

I do repeat this verbally multiple times to her, but her fear is not going.

I keep on trying to make her realise this but it does not seem to help.

I will look into YouTube as you suggested to find some practical tips.

 

Blessings and prayers for all of us here 🙏

 

[PearlsMom1979]

Update for self records:

 

We are celebrating one full year of being zero drug for our Pearl today. So thought to write an update.

 

Still remember the hell which we all went through last year as a family for few months , especially first 7-8 months after hitting zero drug.

 

Things are far far better now. But life is still far from being like original days before this drug entered our family.

 

Little ups and downs keep on coming in behaviour , like sometimes she gets irritated without any reason at all, like sitting and thinking something and suddenly hurls the nearest object. But in few mins she goes back to her sweet original self. 

 

We don't consider these as waves as this lasts for few minutes and not everyday.

 

The only problem which does not seem to be getting better is brain fog and cognitive issues. 

 

I try to work with her as much as possible but she is not interested. I don't want her to feel pressurized so I do the minimum possible without making her feel irritated or stressed.

 

Sometimes I wonder if she is having anhedonia, but I am not very sure.

 

She seems to enjoy her walks, outings and music etc.

 

Only study and any other activities involving use of brain , she does not want to do.

 

Waiting and praying for all of us here.

[PearlsMom1979]

Update for self records:

 

Hello friends, hope you all are doing better and healing day by day!

 

My little girl is doing fine, still not back to her original self but a very clear recovery and progress is happening with time.

 

As we both, me and my husband are watching and observing her withdrawal symptoms from last one year, it's very obvious we have come a long way in last one year.

 

We just wish she starts enjoying her studies again.

 

Now a days she sleeps and sleeps. 

Some days she sleeps for 14-16 hours a day!

 

We are zero drug from 14th Feb 2023.

 

So far we are just letting things go with the flow, assuming maybe this amount of sleep her brain needs.

 

Let's see how long this continues.

 

Wishing you all love and peace 💕

 

[Nocturna]

Hey, so happy to hear your Pearl is recovering and you and your husband are there supporting each other! 💓

Wishing that sleep helps her cure whatever her brain and body went through!

[PearlsMom1979]

@Nocturna 

Thank you so so much for being a constant support from last one year

Lots of love, good health and happiness for you❤️ 

 

[Doctorsrcrap]

I'm glad to hear Pearl is doing much better. Hopefully this is the final stretch for her 

[arbor]

@PearlsMom1979  I send you all my best wishes💜

Arbor

[PearlsMom1979]

On 3/5/2024 at 9:14 PM, Doctorsrcrap said:

I'm glad to hear Pearl is doing much better. Hopefully this is the final stretch for her 

@Doctorsrcrap Thank you so much for being so kind and supporting as always

I noticed you completed your taper.

Hope its going well for you.

Due to my kids being small and Pearl's home schooling, I don't get time to read much so I am sorry I am not able to read your post or other friends as well.

Wishing you health and happiness 💕

[PearlsMom1979]

@arbor

Thank you and wishing you good health and happiness 💕