checco: Severe wave in the 18th month

[checco]

This site Saved my life after cold turkey Sept 2019 reverted 3 months later 3mg successfully ,reduced 10% finished Jan 28 2022 now hit with major wave in July ,now I take micro doses of lamictal which also seems to help itself very slowly. I am 42 years old and have not worked for a long time. I live with my family and thanks to a state subsidy. I gradually reduced after the restoration as suggested On this site everything was fine until July then due to an accumulation of stress I had a nervous breakdown, I managed not to take other psychiatric drugs but with astuteness I managed to Prescribe lamictal Which seems to help though at the moment I'm still struggling with agoraphobia and social anxiety and basically bedridden although today seems to be a little better at least in the morning.

 

Now I take 2.3mg lamictal at 9pm which helped me sleep not right away but i think it helped but if i try to increase to 2.5mg i feel jittery i never thought i would fall so low In this wave but I'm trying to get back up if I hadn't found this site I would have already taken my life but knowing that this can end pushes me to resist. So I thank those who dedicate their life have this cause even if they have better things to do I can never thank you enough I wish I had found this site sooner I would have avoided throwing it away Life is now 42 years old it seems to me that life has passed and I lost it. I hope the presentation goes well I apologize for the mistakes but the translator on my smartphone sucks.

Edited August 29, 2023 by Go2zero
name to topic title

[checco]

Volevo anche aggiungere perché ho letto questo sito da cima a fondo ed è dal 2019 che leggo questo sito e questo mi ha tenuto in vita anche se al momento non ho una buona memoria e devo rileggerlo Posso capire cosa sta succedendo quando sono molto malato, è stata una manna dal cielo imbattersi in questo sito. Un saluto alla fondatrice, seguo sempre con attenzione le sue interviste Le apparizioni su YouTube per me ed un esempio di essere umano.

Edited August 27, 2023 by checco
Machine translator error

[Go2zero]

Hello Checco,

 

Welcome to this support  site. Sorry to read how much you are suffering. Could you please post in English only. I understand this may be difficult for you. Google Translate makes good translations.

 

Please also translate your signature to English.

 

I mean to understand that you have been all medication since January 2022. And that waves were acceptable until July 2023? Is that correct?

 

What has changed that you suddenly started to have these severe symptoms recently? 

 

Please describe what your symptoms are and since you have them.

[checco]

The waves up to July 2023 were bearable but 18 months after the end of the reduction the wave was devastating also triggered by stress. Until a few days ago I couldn't even get up  out of bed now with micro doses of lamictal it seems to be improving even if it is difficult to find the right dose now it is 2.2 mg and it seems the right dose, it manages to attenuate the cortisol peaks in the morning it is for about 30 minutes I give myself a feeling completely normal a window, this should be a good sign.

[Go2zero]

On 8/27/2023 at 6:21 PM, checco said:

Volevo anche aggiungere perché ho letto questo sito da cima a fondo ed è dal 2019 che leggo questo sito e questo mi ha tenuto in vita anche se al momento non ho una buona memoria e devo rileggerlo Posso capire cosa sta succedendo quando sono molto malato, è stata una manna dal cielo imbattersi in questo sito. Un saluto alla fondatrice, seguo sempre con attenzione le sue interviste Le apparizioni su YouTube per me ed un esempio di essere umano.

Can you please translate this post in English and post it again? 

 

Please translate your signature in English as well. This is the part under your posts where you describe all medication you have used up to now.

[checco]

Translation I have been reading this site since 2019 and it has kept me alive, I don't know if I would still be here without this site I also follow the interviews on YouTube and other sites of the founder a lot Adele framer is thank you for all she has done for others including me. So I know a lot of everything written on this site for 4 years it has been my guide in my path. I hope it goes well and you can read again.

[Go2zero]

2013- maggio 2015 wellbutrin (non ricordo la dose).

Scallaggio breve wellbutrin ,maggio 2015 sertralina 50 mg Sostituita da mirtazepina nel 2018, tacchino freddo a settembre 2019 grave astinenza dopo tre mesi dalla lettura di questo sito ripristinare 3 mg di mirtazepina con seccesso,quindi riduzione del 10% ogni 4 settimane ultima dose 0,01 mg a gennaio 2022. Onde sopportabili fino a luglio 2023 onda grave e debilitante come un esaurimento nervoso. Ora sto assumendo micro dosi di lamictal, ho iniziato con 0,5 mg per 4 giorni, 0,7 mg per 4 giorni, poi 1,2 per 4 giorni, 1,7 mg per 4 giorni, 1,9 mg, 2, 2 mg, 2,5 mg poi sono tornato a 2,2 mg o iniziato a lamictal il 15 luglio e sembra aiutare a calmare i sintomi di allerta che stanno scomparendo.

 

Thank you for the translation.

 

The above is your signature.  Can you please translate that? We can only advise you when this is in English. All moderators must be able to understand. Thank you.

[checco]

I also translated the signature , I hope it goes well . Now I understand that I have to leave the page in the original language because if I translate it what I write even if I write it in English is translated  in my language permanently.

[Go2zero]

Hello @checco,

 

Thank you for the translations. In this way we will be able to help you better.

 

I understand you stopped the Mirtazapine at January 28, 2022 after a slow taper? And then you did not have serious symptoms until June 2023?

 

If that is the case, it does not seem to me that you are having withdrawal issues from the mirtazepine. It is just too long ago (1 1/2 year) after stopping.

 

Whats caused your nervous breakdown? And what caused the stress in June 2023 which you mention?

 

How are your symptoms now? Please describe in detail what your symptoms are.

 

Do do notice improvement in how you feel?

 

 

[checco]

The waves have always been there even if they weren't intense most of the time but I haven't had even strong but short-lived at most 2 weeks and then I also had windows, the wave that hit me now the symptoms are very hard: anhedonia, anxiety, waking up with cortisol spikes, not eating anything, isolation, agoraphobia, social anxiety. The stressor was a betrayal of a family member who  it has put me in a very bad position with other people and this has led to family arguments and even cutting off all ties. The symptoms in improvements are: anxiety, awakenings in the morning they are less traumatic, I can feed myself I had lost 35 kilos in 2 months and I can sleep (I haven't slept for a month) now I sleep from 4 to 6 hours if it's good. I just wanted to say that symptoms there have always been brain fog, always set to lota I have escape, anxiety, anhedonia, low motivation, sexual dysfunction (which is now even more serious we go on general anesthesia genital) Until 15 days ago the symptoms reached an unsustainable intensity now they seem to be decreasing by at least 30% since I took the micro doses of lamictal it seems to have mitigated the symptoms.

[Go2zero]

Stressful situations can easily trigger symptoms. The same can happen after too much exercising, too less sleep, use of alcohol or drugs, use of antibiotics, illness, etc.

 

In your case the symptoms seem to be triggered by the stressful event you mention. 

 

Given the long time that you are away from the mirtezapine, I do not see a direct relation with your tapered medications.

 

Try to relaxe as much as possible. Do things that give you joy. If you can't feel the joy right now, it is still good to do things that used to give you joy before. Be kind to yourself. Acceptance of the current situation is also important. It understand that symptoms are decreasing by now. That is a very good sign. Concentrate on moments of Light and do not give to much attention to the more darker moments. They will pass.

 

Reading the following can also help:

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/1112-non-drug-techniques-to-cope-with-emotional-symptoms/

 

 

[checco]

Today didn't go well I have anhedonia that I haven't experienced for a long time everything and everyone scares me. Things seemed to be improving. 

For a couple of months i can't watch tv i have music, i eat something just not to make the situation worse.

The only thing that can calm me down are sachets of potassium and magnesium I also take fish oil he has lunch in the evening it tends to interfere with sleep which at least seems to have returned. I will continue With micro doses lamictal Varying in dosage downwards from 2.2 to 2 if increasing from problems. The symptoms that annoy me the most are mental confusion, anhedonia, muscle weakness, solbazzarsi for every noise I'm like something terrible must happen to me, lately it occurs to me more and more that a life like this is not worth living and this is not something from me. 

[checco]

Perhaps there was an error in the translation. I avoid taking fish oil in the evening because it interferes with sleep.

[Go2zero]

When did you take your last dosage of mirtezapine? and how much was that dosage? Please add this info also to your signature.

[checco]

Today has been hard total fatigue no energy completely dead constant anxiety intrusive thoughts I can't even watch nature documentaries I'm too too too the exciting ones s in a black hole that will be difficult to get out of by now I am losing all hope for the future. I took a pappareal and ginseng supplement for the apathetic but I think it got worse the situation even if it started before taking it even if it wasn't so serious, today I couldn't get out of bed.

[checco]

After taking vitamin D in the late afternoon the symptoms disappeared, but I didn't sleep at night, in the morning I tried vitamin D again but without the same effect, the Lack of sleep aggravates things at least the am was doing well 😓

[checco]

As usual the translator changes the text it's not the mornings that are good but the sleep that was going well, as soon as I wake up I have anxiety peaks which I think are a bit muted from lamictal.

[manymoretodays]

Hi checco,

Vitamin D is best taken early in the day is my understanding, as it can be a little stimulating.

Here's what we have as far as some topics that may help:

BASIC SUPPLEMENT TOOLKIT

King of supplements: Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil)

Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker

 

and:

Vitamin D3(cholecalciferol or calcitriol)

 

What was your baseline like prior to the stressful family event in July?

What, if any symptoms prior to July?

 

I'll also give you links to some of the topics, that you may already be familiar with, just so I know what you have looked at and read:

 

Protracted Withdrawal or PAWS(post acute withdrawal syndrome)- How long does it last?

 

One theory of antidepressant withdrawal syndrome

 

And then is this what you based your Lamictal addition and usage on?  Lamictal(lamotrigine) to calm post acute withdrawal symptoms(PAWS)

Is there a doctor or anyone helping you with the Lamictal usage?  Who prescribed it for you?

Were your previous drug withdrawals all fast or cold turkey?  I see medications/drugs listed since 2013.

Are you familiar with the harm reduction tapering strategy that we go with here:

Why taper by 10% of my dosage?

with each taper being calculated from the previous dosage

 

 

Any previous medical concerns? I see a mention of disease in your signature and am not sure if that is an error in translation, or if you also suffer from some disease prior to psychiatric drugs being used/prescribed.

 

It does sound like you are reporting some improvement above in your posts.  If so, that's a good sign of healing.  It sounds like you are familiar with the Waves and Windows pattern of stabilization  too. 

 

What do you do for coping or have you added in to your life to date in the non-drug coping department?  Many of us have benefited from learning new practices to cope with stress, when it occurs.  To hopefully minimize set backs, like what has happened to you.......and help us get through.  Do you have some support now, outside of family?  Do you have someone to talk to?  Friend or professional?

 

You'll see an indexed list of topics and many non-drug coping skills in the first post in this topic:

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

Also if you go to the Symptoms and Self Care forum where the last topic came from, you'll see a search box at the top upper right there.  You can put in your physical symptoms, and it will bring up more topics, on each symptom and some will give other member experiences of coping too.  That might be helpful to you now.

 

I'm hoping I am reading correctly the translations, and that you are making sure to eat, and that sleep is improving.  Again, this is good.  I am hopeful, you will see continued improvement.  And eventually full healing and recovery.

 

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

manymoretodays(mmt)

Edited September 5, 2023 by manymoretodays
questions, another link

[Onmyway]

@checco

You need to choose a regular dose of lamictal and not change it for a long time.  ALSO,  unless you are deficient in some vitamin pls don't take supplements especially B and D, they are activating so will agitate you and make sleep difficult. 

 

Did you take alcohol before this breakdown?

What coping skills are you using?

 

OMW

[checco]

I'm not drinking alcohol I don't smoke tobacco or marijuana, I knew about vitamin B it could interfere with sleep about vitamin D I didn't know thanks for clarifying it. Today I have at nothing because I slept 1-2 hours now I will keep the dose of lamictal For a while like this without making any other changes. I'm trying to avoid stress stay calm even though it's not easy. 

[checco]

That was mistranslated today I have no supplements and it seems a little better less anxiety even though anhedonia is ever present is brain fog.

[manymoretodays]

Okay checco, sounds good!

Keep us update, as you stay regular on the Lamictal, and sort out your supplements.

Hoping we get some reports of improvement soon!

[checco]

Yesterday and today I managed to sleep, I'm not taking anything yesterday only potassium and magnesium, today nothing only two fish oil capsules, I'm maintaining the same dose of lamictal, even though I feel weak without any will incapable of acting or reacting to anything completely helpless like a child.

[checco]

I read on this site (and now I can no longer find it) that psychotropic drugs not only create sexual dysfunction, but can also cause deviant sexual behavior. Could anyone send me the link.

[checco]

I'm not feeling great but things seem to calm down a bit although I will most likely be proven wrong tomorrow, for a few minutes the brain fog seems to disappear, tiredness is the bad thing Thoughts but then they come back, it's very frustrating, I would just like a day of peace and tranquility. The libido seems to come back too, for me it was annoying but it wasn't a drama, these are the other symptoms that  They are more disturbed by brain fog, inability to socialize, tiredness, anxiety, more or less motivating fears. Everything brings me back to taking supplements for example vit.D to have an orgasm once the dopamine rush has passed I feel worse now I experience total abstinence no sex or masturbation it seems to improve when I avoid doing it.

[checco]

A strange thing recently happened to me, I used to take melatonin regularly, now I haven't used it for 2 months, I recently took it at 1mg, I had a nightmare so real that even after testing myself When I woke up I thought it was real. It's very strange, coffee at times has a beneficial effect, I have periods, I can't tolerate it, only one sends me crazy, the Omega-3s calm me down some days, others they make me anxious it's difficult to find a balance. The symptoms manage to evolve to survive and as if they were an alien thinking being inside my head, even sleep some nights I have the disturbed sleep some nights I can sleep much more than usual one night even 12 hours in a row you need to maintain a constant life is orderly to maintain a balance but you are the   same symptoms to eradicate any attempt to maintain a regular life is very frustrating and uncontrollable, many people who are worried about their sexual function create problems for me that too seems to be returning to a sort of frenzy and all of a sudden the total anesthesia of the genitals returns, it is a very frustrating thing it can last up to 5 months and then repeat the cycle all over again the same as the previous one after each orgasm I become more and more depressed and frustrated, these attacks of sexual frenzy lead me to watch pornography even having to go to the pros prostitutes this thing is destroying me morally and humanly I'm ashamed of myself but it's such a strong stimulus that I can't control and it makes me fall even further into shame and Depression, not being able to control these impulses worries me a lot. I don't understand why I get this hyper sexuality which can last a few weeks then turns off for months maybe someone in this site has some answers that I don't want, I just hope it's not forever I don't think I can handle porn for much longer, prostitution is something humiliating that shortly after I have feelings of   faults that make me feel even more like a being unworthy of living in a civilized society.

[Rosetta]

Checco,

 

I am very sorry to see you hurting so much.  The endorphin response is seriously affected by prolonged withdrawal.  You may wish to look into that response and learn how it works.  The dysfunction of that response during prolonged WD explains to me your difficulties with both desire and the terrible feeling you have when you satisfy that desire.

 

I believe it is necessary, sometimes, to change one’s way of thinking about morality.   Some people who were extremely immoral were the doctors who gave you ADs.  The doctor who changed your ADs (how many times? That’s a rhetorical question), he is immoral.  The information that this could cause you harm has been available since the 1990s, at least.

The sexual issues caused by prolonged AD withdrawal are very real, very disruptive to a person’s life, and one hundred percent preventable.  At the very least, your doctor could have asked for “informed consent” — told you the risks and gave you a choice between non-pharmaceutical interventions and these horrible drugs.  You are not alone in having the opposite of PSSD, and you are not alone in having your body vacillate between PSSD and overactivity.  Very few people admit to the overactivity due to shame, but this issue has been going on for ages — at least since addiction and dependency on psycho-active substances began.

 

Are you feeling guilty because you are doing harm, or are you feeling guilty because you acted contrary to a rule?  Are you a member of a social class to whom certain moral tenants are very important, and thus you feel more guilt?  Is your religion a major factor in your guilt?  We all have to decide what degree of guilt we are willing to endure.  Whether we “should” feel guilty is irrelevant.  Some guilt is going to be there regardless of any intellectual exercises we do to consider, evaluate, and rationalize our actions.  There are things I do not do despite the fact that I believe they are not “immoral” because I cannot live with the guilt, warranted or not.

 

Have you read the thread about neuro-emotions?  You are going to feel a lot of guilt during prolong WD that you would not feel otherwise. All of our emotions can become quite intense during prolonged WD.  Unfortunately, a lot of the negative emotions are more prevalent and common or frequent rather than the positive emotions.  This makes it very hard to discern “what is real.”   So, for the purposes of avoiding guilt, what is real is whatever you happen to be feeling.  There are other emotions we have to fight and challenge in order to live our lives, such as agoraphobia, but guilt is one that we have to listen to.  See:

Going to a prostitute may not be the best thing in the world, but it is better than dating girls, making them think you like them but just using them for sex, is it not?That would be worse, in my opinion.  If the prostitute does not appear to be in distress at doing her job, maybe she has a right to make money to pay her rent?  I hope you are giving the prostitute more of a choice in how she lives her life than your doctor gave you. Does the man or woman who sells alcohol all day long sleep well?  
 

I’m not saying prostitution is right or good in all situations.  In fact, it’s probably very rarely harmless, but it can be.  The more one knows about prostitution, the more one realizes that the possibility for harm to come from it is quite great just as the more one knows about ADs, the same is true!  A prostitute must be working of her own free will, of course!  If so, is what she is doing any worse than doctors being paid to ruin brains with impunity?  Is it worse than people who sell food, daily, that causes obesity, heart disease, and early deaths?  Is it worse than people who sell alcohol?  How often has alcohol led to deadly car accidents?

 

Moral issues aside, I find it troubling that you feel you cannot control your sexual impulses.  That is a problem you should make a focus of your efforts, and I see that you realize that.  Finding a way to manage this issue is important.  The guilt you are feeling is as harmful as any physical harm you might cause or suffer.  For your safety, physical and otherwise, you should avoid prostitutes in any way you can or at least minimize the contact.
 

You are most likely aware that you may not be able to avoid causing harm to others unless you avoid all prostitutes. There has been a movement in the U.S. to normalize prostitution.  The idea is that people can choose to engage in such work without being coerced or forced.  I find that possibility dubious, and I think it is rare that a woman can leave that type of work when she wishes to do so.  What might begin as voluntary engagement probably becomes involuntary engagement, eventually.  However, this new movement has tried to address that issue exactly; if prostitution were not stigmatized, women (or men) could change to a different line of work without undue difficulty.  I mention this to emphasize the issue of changing morality brought about by changes in technology, access to video or print media, etc.  This moral tenant is changing in some places, and there are people working to change it rather than simply accepting the status quo.  Whether that will turn out to be a good thing, we shall see.  My point is that maybe someone else would not feel guilty about something that could be considered normal behavior in another culture or another time or place.
 

There is no one code of morality, and even the morality of a particular locale changes over time.  In my opinion, normalizing prostitution is a losing battle.  Prostitution will always be stigmatized, and anyone who becomes a prostitute is setting herself up for being trapped in a profession that will cause her harm eventually.  It is my choice to believe that, and it is another person’s choice to believe differently. 
 

Nonetheless, there is a wide range of possible natural sexual proclivities for humans.  Morality is a way of controlling the negative consequences of some of those proclivities.  It is a set of rules your society taught you, and those rules are not without grey areas.  Some of us have enough experience in the world to realize that even when we operate within the moral rules, we harm others, and we must stop doing something that is allowable according to the rules.  There are also times when we violate the rules and do no harm.  
 

Have you done actual harm to others or even to yourself?  If so, can you find a way to atone for that?  Can you put in place safeguards to prevent yourself from doing more harm?  There is ethical porn just as there is ethical farming.  There are a lot of people who have made this a popular issue and are working very hard to create ethical porn.  How you find it, I don’t know.  I have no idea.  However, perhaps you can find a way to determine which websites are operating ethically.  
 

Perhaps the guilt you feel from porn is too great, and you will need to find a way to avoid that, too.  I am not one to ask about specifics on that topic, but, in general, I have learned how to set up systems to avoid excessive shopping and a few other obsessive pursuits of hobbies.  Shopping may seem to be a silly comparison, but the same endorphin high is created by shopping and sex.  There are a lot of books out there about excessive shopping, no one would question your possession of the book much, and the techniques are useful for many different types of obsessions.  Exercise — gentle exercise like walking — is a very important component of smoothing the hormone chaos that is caused by prolonged withdrawal.  Distraction and redirecting your energy and activities when you feel compulsions or excessive sexual desire is another technique.  I recommend that you look into the techniques for controlling several different obsessions as the endorphin high drives all of them.
 

As to other moral grey areas you may be struggling to handle, one thing that prolonged withdrawal has taught me is that my way of thinking and my sense of morality when I was young was mine alone.  There were things my parents accidentally taught me that they never intended to teach me and that no one else believed.  I believe this is true for everyone as there is no universal set of moral rules, and our parents stumble through parenthood with no manual, no education pertinent to the task, and very little advice that is useful to raising any particular child. What is acceptable in one location might be very, very wrong in another.  From one household to another the rules may be drastically different.  Often, by the time I figure out what is best for my child, she has grown, she has changed, and she has moved beyond the stage of development during which I could have “taught her correctly.”  Even when I think I am doing a good job, there are unforeseen consequences.  

Guess what? Navigating my ship through prolonged withdrawal has been very similar!  By the time I decided on the right course of action, the time had passed, the symptom is gone or changed, and my brain had made me a different person.  At times, I had no idea what I was going to regret having done, what I might feel sad about in the future, or who I wanted to be!  Who I wanted to be changed week to week or month to month as my brain was healing.  When I realized this was happening, I became afraid to do anything at all.  However, I learned, as time went on, and I was ready to implement a new technique the next time I had a symptom that caused me trouble.  I learned to avoid big decisions and wait for healing to happen.  I decide to continue to hold to many of the same values I knew before the massive destabilization of my nervous system because they were like a harbor in a storm.  For me it was the safest decision I could make, and I felt the least damage would occur from that decision.
 

My entire world changed because of ADs even before prolonged withdrawal.  My sense of right and wrong used to change with the change of a dose of medication.  Then it changed again, over and over, as my brain healed from a taper so fast that I call it a cold turkey.  I have done things that I regret — things that had consequences and things that did not, other than causing me continuing guilt.  
 

Ultimately, I had to base my sense of morality on whether what I did caused harm because I recognized that every person has been exposed to various environmental substances that affect the way his or her brain functions.  There is a study that determined that the use of Tylenol makes people less empathetic!  In the United States, a fungus on wheat consumed by people is believed to have created the circumstances that led to the Salem Witch Trials long ago.  Car accidents that cause traumatic brain injury cause changes in attitudes toward morality.  There are far less dramatic and lesser known ways in which our brains are affected all the time, without our knowledge.  There are many different ways our environment and the chemicals we are exposed to make us “who we are.”  Who we are changes all the time.  Was it always this way?  I do not know, but, today, it can happen, at least slightly, to anyone whether she or he took ADs or not.

 

Who are you, and who do you want to be?  That is not something you should decide during prolonged withdrawal.  Do you actually have complete control over that in any case?  Doubtful.  For now, try to be the person you used to be and put off making any decisions that are important for the future.  Do what you need to do to stay safe, and make only those compromises that you must to avoid greater risks.  
 

If I were you, I would not taper lamictal right now.  If you believe you have found a dose that is most comfortable for you, stay at that dose for at least 2 years (unless something changes a lot to make that dose a problem.) Let your nervous system calm down and give your brain a chance to stabilize your emotions and your body.  You will come through this horrible time wiser and more aware of who you want to be.  Whatever you do, do not let the doctors “win!”  Do not let their deliberate ignorance and reckless disregard for the safety of your brain stop you from staying safe now, healing, and coming through on the other side to live on!

 

🧚‍♀️Rosetta

[checco]

30 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

Rosetta

Thank you for your answer it was really helpful I don't think my true nature is the one I'm experiencing now maybe I still have to know my true way of being I took these Drugs since I was 16 with various cold turkeys that destroyed me both physically and mentally each time I was a shadow of myself until I locked myself in the house like a prisoner how many years have I suffered, if I could go back knowing what I know now I wouldn't even touch these drugs with my hands let alone ingest them. I trusted the doctors and the medicines they gave me Presrivevano now I find out what medicine it is before taking it and I avoid taking medicines of any kind as much as possible. I think you are right that my problem is  given by a dysregulation of neurotransmitters perhaps the prolonged use of these drugs leaves an imprint which is difficult to reprogram, in short periods of time which do not last very long I can seeing my true way of being without intrusive thoughts, without phobias without brain fog are those moments that give me hope. When I'm about to lose hope I will reread your comment Thanks Rosette.

[Rosetta]

You are welcome.  It is absolutely criminal what they did, but you will recover.  It may take a long time, and it may not.  If you stay away from drugs, alcohol and most everything that might rattle your nervous system, you may heal much faster.

[checco]

I haven't taken drugs for a long time now, I've stopped drinking alcohol, I only drink 1 beer when it gets above 40 degrees in summer, I've also stopped smoking tobacco, but I can't say if this helps me. or less but I can assure you that now I live the life of a monk I go to bed very early now I also avoid coffee I take energy drinks I'm always down with no energy and yet according to the latest tests I have done, I enjoy excellent health and this has made me more angry than happy. I hope things are better for you too, I started reading your story which I will finish reading in the hope that things will improve.

[checco]

I wanted to say that I don't use illegal substances but it was translated that I don't take drugs.

[Rosetta]

Right.  That’s good, of course, you never what you are getting, but what a surprise that that turns out to be true with perfectly legal drugs!

[modelarz71]

It's very sad, I can't accept that I got into this because it was given by a doctor and not a dealer on a dark street. And such a doctor believes that he works hard and helps people.I don’t understand that.  But they say it's your fault, you should have not stopped, or take a few now because it's a disease.

very sad my family and me. I always had good digestion and sleep, now it's a thing of the past and I can't accept it. There should be this "Informed Consent" absolutely. Things will be the same for me when you stop, they said

[checco]

I don't think it's the doctor's fault as such it's not theirs to test these drugs they rely on what they are taught I have what is communicated to them both by the agencies and they should be vigilant both from the pharmaceutical companies and the doctors are only executors, many even in good faith who believe they are helping with these drugs even if they tend to be obtuse and believe that the patient yes you invent the symptoms in my opinion the responsibilities must be sought much higher up, those psychiatrists who update psychiatric diseases as soon as there is a new psychotropic drug to sell, the state agencies that do not protect patients and many renowned psychiatrists who are generously financed by the same pharmaceutical companies to be compliant. In recent years I have met many good faith doctors who tried to help me and I understood that they were in good faith after all they cannot contradict everything they were taught and what they have studied for years.The responsibilities for this suffering are much higher than the individual family doctor or even psychiatrist who prescribes these pills (at least in English speaking countries there is a debate here in Italy, if someone tries to question their effectiveness, they are accused of being unscientific, I am a flat-earther, psychotropic drugs are considered miracle medicines without no contraindications it's something that horrifies me knowing what I know now I thank God for having found this site because I don't think I could have lasted so long without this site).🙏 

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https://youtu.be/XfThKVNl0Oc?si=J2WfwGV0ym3u-UVo I found this video and it tells a lot of truths about the alleged cures and the power of pharmaceutical companies.

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I don't understand why a simple supplement taken in the afternoon which would have no effect on a normal person, while if I take it it is comparable to a hit of cocaine and something very worrying, things seemed to improve little by little as I went forward I could drink coffee without too many problems after mid-July and how to have gone back is that this never has a in the end I hope I don't lose hope today also very bad news a relative of mine attempted suicide by shooting himself and is in serious condition, it shocked me when these things happen nothing matters anymore it's yes he just has an enormous sadness and you say I could have been there in his place poor boy he was always courteous to everyone he didn't deserve this end even if he survives he is completely disfigured god help him🙏.