andy96gr Introduction:andy96gr~6 years on Lexapro /Cold turkey, support needed

[andy96gr]

Im in big trouble @Catina7.Im loosing my mind.

I can't handle this anymore.I did a lot of changes in lyrica dosages and  a horrible mistake updosing by double the dose after coming of a CT from cipralex and now situation is unbearable.

My cognitive part is deteriorating day bay day Im paralysed almost ,cant watch tv , can't listenen to musisc constant headaches,working part of brain is dead,cant even think anymore,my viaion is worsening day by day ,i wake up everyday in oanic and not able to anything beside eating and staying in bed becouse I feel afraid to leave the house.Totally anhedonia anesthesia,pssd, and have not idea when this is going to end is going worse and woerse and i need a solution in order to see a light at least.

[Catina7]

I'm not familiar with your history, but I do know that it seems like your nervous system is in a very unstable state right now.  We want a quick fix, but sometimes the best thing we can do is to just let time do its healing.  I'm sure in time you'll eventually stabilize, so do your best to stay calm and to not panic.  You're going to get through this, but you have to believe it yourself.  

[andy96gr]

What about reinstating an 0.5mg citalopram? Would it be beneficial?

[Catina7]

10 minutes ago, andy96gr said:

What about reinstating an 0.5mg citalopram? Would it be beneficial?

 

I'm not at liberty to give dosing advice.  You'll have to tag or ask one of the moderators.  Hopefully someone can give you some direction when they're able to.

[andy96gr]

@brassmonkey   @manymoretodays   @Altostrata

[Catina7]

Altostrata is no longer active on the site, just to let you know.  

[andy96gr]

@Catina7please tag any moderator who could possibly help me because im in critical condition.

[Catina7]

31 minutes ago, andy96gr said:

@Catina7please tag any moderator who could possibly help me because im in critical condition.

 

I have let them know.

[andy96gr]

Anyone???

[getofflex]

@andy96grWe will need to see a drug signature before we can help you.   

 

Can you please give us specific information in your signature about your drug history for all drugs and supplements you are on and have been on, especially for the past 18-24 months?  Please only give us drug names, dosages, and dates, as best you can remember.  Please read the link below for instructions.  

 

How to List Your Drug History in Your Signature

[getofflex]

15 hours ago, andy96gr said:

critical condition.

can you please explain this?  What are you specific symptoms?   

[andy96gr]

Thank you my brother for answering.I have lost the control of my self . Anxiety is eating me , anhedonia,blck depression is there 24/24 ,apathia,working memory is dead  ,i cant read ,cant watch tv cant enjoy anything,only thing I have is death now,I cant take this for too long .I can't do anything to enjoy or pass the time .There are no windows or waves but just a infinite black wave never endind and becoming bigger and bigger ,this happened since my mistake in dosage in Pregabalin (caused akathasia,blurry& static tv vision, a terrible headache,anhedonia,no emotions,pure hell aice then) Now the problem is that i cant hold this anymore i must do something to improve my situation,time is not helping in my case anymore.

[andy96gr]

A psych doctor gave diazepam and recomended to take it 10 mg daily for 2 weeks and also starting prozac 10 mg  Or citalopram 5mg ) bescoue if I continue like this I will go in psychosis there is no way out.I wonder if there is any drug that at leat could take the edge of symptoms and continue to let my brain heal.

[getofflex]

OK disregard my request for the signature - I can see it now.  

 

I doubt that reinstating escitalopram, or citalopram will help at this point.  It has been over a year since you jumped off.  

 

Are you still taking the pregabalin 45 mg twice daily?  I see you made a mistake and took 4 times your dose in early December?  It is quite possible this is still affecting you.  

 

What non drug skills are you using to try and cope with your symptoms?  

16 minutes ago, andy96gr said:

Now the problem is that i cant hold this anymore i must do something to improve my situation,time is not helping in my case anymore.

You have to do your best to get out of this mindset.  Being desperate, and trying to force a solution to your problem, will only make things worse, and not better.  Our brains are very very complex, and it can take months to recover from a mistake in dosage.  I've seen so many people turn to drugs to try to fix their problems, and it usually makes things worse for them.    Time and patience is what is needed. 

 

Please go back over your thread, and look at the many links that others such as altostrata and many more todays have provided on how to cope with health anxiety, and anxiety in general.  

[andy96gr]

No my  friend, Really can't take it anymore.This time is very serious,sooner a later i will hurt myself because cant take it anymore .My family is suffering Me is suffering,time is not helping i juat cant hold anymore.Dont enjoy anything,

[andy96gr]

Rather than dying like this I must rry something at least,lets say CBD oil or SAM-E or anything that could made an effect l i know now that possibilities are lower to 5% to work anything.Just Any recommendation based in experience.Maybe Lamictal or Exeffor  or  wellbutrin.Something to help me to change the pathways of neurons and psooible have any positive impact.

Im in lost ,so nothing to lose here

[Catina7]

@andy96gr, here is a video that will give you hope to keep hanging in there.  The best tools for getting through this are not found in another drug, supplement, or substance but are found deep within yourself.  Please watch this!

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FC_retxN3r0

[andy96gr]

I have lot of pressure from my family ,i cant stand it.Need help!!

[Catina7]

Just now, andy96gr said:

I have lot of pressure from my family ,i cant stand it.Need help!!

 

Please watch the video that I posted above.  You're going to heal eventually, I promise, but you have to hang in there.  

[andy96gr]

Nothing helps me now ,im constantly shaking and anxious.

There must be something to take to eliviate this ,cant stand this, I'm going to have a stroke or heart attack.

[Catina7]

42 minutes ago, andy96gr said:

Nothing helps me now ,im constantly shaking and anxious.

There must be something to take to eliviate this ,cant stand this, I'm going to have a stroke or heart attack.

 

You have to get a hold of yourself.  Your own thoughts are making things much, much worse.  Stop fighting it and try to accept how you're feeling.  If you knew that one day you would be better, would that alleviate some of your fears?

[andy96gr]

Thank you for your support @Catina7but , really noone understands me.I understand your role,Im just asking for a solution with meds no matter the possibilities are not with me.But however maybe I wil go with 0.5 citalopram and see.

[Catina7]

17 minutes ago, andy96gr said:

Thank you for your support @Catina7but , really noone understands me.I understand your role,Im just asking for a solution with meds no matter the possibilities are not with me.But however maybe I wil go with 0.5 citalopram and see.

 

More drugs are NOT the solution!  No one understands you better than the people HERE on this site.  Many of them have been where you are, that's why you should heed their advice.  If you take matters into your own hands you will NOT get better, you might get worse!  

[checco]

Everyone here understands your pain, I too am experiencing what you are experiencing, but yes they are very careful when advising you to take new substances which usually tend to aggravate the problem.

[andy96gr]

Why they prescribe these meds like candies?Why they do that?They are criminals.

They should pay with their lives  as their theft ours.One life we have and we lose it because of on pill given to an 21 years old boy for anxiety.

Whyyyyy they dooo this??

Ok they do thiss they give them ,but why in the helll don't learn and don't know about the withdrawals and how to handle these situations.

What in the hell learn these psychiatrists 6-7 years of their lives in univesities?

It is unbelievable,you go there and trust them and they kill you with poisons.

Without even asking if there is any other underlying cause like deficiency in B12 or vit D, thyroid etc. Or why they don't recommend  natural solutions first?

Im just 21 ,just finished my university,all these years i fought for a future who is stolen by big pharma.And not only mine.

Who is going to pay for this? Who is going to pay for this??? 

 

 

[andy96gr]

I want justice,and someone is going yo pay for this.And they ban street drugs.Arw they normal?? I never smooked cigarette or weed or drank alcohol because i didn't want to intoxicate my body and take care of my body .And now believing these professionals I am left paralyzed with no future and only door suicide,somone has ro pay for this. 

[checco]

andy96gr You're right but the person who prescribed the drugs to you is the last wheel on the wagon, I don't think he's aware of the damage they cause, which is why you have to try to overcome it for many and help know the truth to avoid your own suffering. 

[andy96gr]

@checcoBrother my life is over.Without even starting.What Im supposed to do?To stay all day  watch the wall?27 yeras old with degrees cetificates,no future ,no work no traveling ,what ia the meaning of life nowww?To wait 7-10 years to heal from kindling or PAWS ?who ia going to take care of me? all my life is overrr.What im supposed to dooo?Yess the last vagon must know ,they must know.If they dont knkw who is going to know mee?? They have a liftime experience and years of studying they must know.Dont they do research,dont they observe ? 

[getofflex]

8 minutes ago, andy96gr said:

Brother my life is over.Without even starting.

I know it feels like your life is over.  Withdrawal can be very very difficult.  We feel you.  We have been there ourselves.  I've been there.  I really wish there was something I could give you that would fix this now.  However, unfortunately, there is not.   The only solution to this is time, lots and lots of time, and patience, as well as learning how to cope with the symptoms in the meantime. The good news is, that your life is not over, not by a long stretch!  If you are 27, then you still have many years left.   Please try reading the success stories - there are people that were in very bad shape, and on many drugs for decades but they have recovered! 

 

Success Stories

 

Here is a list of topics about depression.  

 

Topics on Depression

[checco]

andy96gr The information they have is heavily manipulated by pharmaceutical companies many believe they really help people, as far as your life is over it's not true, this just happens you don't know how long it will last, many take a sabbatical after finishing their studies, now you see the whole distorted reality don't make any decisions and don't think about the future listen to what you feel and don't don't try to feel good at any cost I know it's difficult but only you can do it no one else as you well understood these drugs given to help you have only made your life worse.

[getofflex]

14 minutes ago, andy96gr said:

To wait 7-10 years to heal from kindling or PAWS ?

I seriously doubt it would take 7-10 years.  I don't know how long it will take for you, but over the next few months, the symptoms should gradually become less and less overall.  You stated earlier things got worse after you took the wrong dose back in December, and that was less than 2 months ago.  I don't think it will take years to recover from that, more likely some weeks or months. 

[Catina7]

Sometimes the hardest thing we can do is .... NOTHING!  Yes, that's right.  We're asking you to do nothing but WAIT, have PATIENCE, and let your body and brain stabilize.  We think that be doing "something" we are being proactive, but in this case the opposite is true.  You must be patient and allow TIME to do its healing.  You WILL heal, and it may not take as long as you're thinking.  

[Comecloser80]

1 hour ago, andy96gr said:

Brother my life is over.Without even starting

It could be a beginning of brand new life. You are still very young to give up upon life.

Sending you healing vibes. ❤️‍🩹 

[andy96gr]

Im becomin worse and worse @getofflex.There is no hope.I came from a CT from lexapro 5mg 1 year ago.

Hugeee ,hugge misaake withoutt knowing.There are people who haven't sutvived CT.

Ad the kindling and sensitivition of my CNS last month? There is no hope i live in hell 24/24 . Anhedonia,no emotions,no pleasure,no joy,cant watch tv or play any game on phone, working memory is dead ,cant think ,cant work,cant have a family ,cant help my family ,they are suffering because of me .They are being sick because of me.

I haven't seen any success story from someone coming CT lexapro and KIndling after 1 year. But however thanks for your words. @getofflex @Purae

@Catina7.

I don't have lot of people to talk and understand me.My parents don't understand me they just believe that I chose to be sick because I sont take meds .Nor my friends.Is a nightmare better to be in jail 10 years.

[Catina7]

@andy96gr, we are here for you and do understand what you're going through.  You don't think there is hope but people heal all the time from similar situations.

 

Did you watch that video I sent you earlier?  If not, please do...it will ease your mind I promise!!!

[manymoretodays]

Hey andy96gr,

Hey what's going on with the Valium I see in your signature ?:

"15/01/23 -  ongoing occasional 5mg  diazepam for anxiety."

That was last January, shortly after you finished your FT-CT of Lexapro I believe.

 

Tell us about that usage please.  I see absolutely no mention of it in your narratives.  And so am wondering about that.

 

And your pregablin is taken at what dose and at what times of day?  At one point it helped I believe, a little bit anyway, back when it was started.

 

You were gone for a month, and then came back in desperation.  Your error in dosing should have leveled off by now.

Anything else happen?  

 

Stick to the Hope and Healing topics and non-drug coping.    Take an hour at a time.  Tell us what you are able to do........even the seemingly little stuff like showers, making your bed, helping with meal preps, and cleaning.  Pet care?  Don't isolate in your room 24/7 with a laptop or other device.  Take advantage of a kind and caring family who only want to see you get well.  See how they are doing?  Little things.  Stay in the moment.  Don't project.  Find your peaceful inner self......allow it a few moments every hour.

 

Gosh, sounds awful again.  Hang on, scroll back and go through some of the many links given that might help you cope and some of the latest offerings.  Keep eating.  What's your sleep like?

 

I have no drug recommends, nor quick fixes.  Just noticed the Valium/diazepam in your signature and wondered on that usage.

  

 

Sending hope and healing.  Relaxation. 

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

mmt