Jami: need help and advice

[Emonda]

Hi Jami, 

You asked me offline about sleep: Melatonin for sleep. I find this helpful.

 

As to how long does recovery take? It's different for everyone.

 

At times at the start of my journey, I felt like I was just getting by minute by minute. Then it extended to day to day, week to week.

 

With time, patience and much encouragement from reading success stories on this site, I find myself in a good place these days. I still experience the things on the WD checklist each time I adjust my dose, but the symptoms are generally mild.

 

I hope this helps.

[Jami]

I just woke up and I’m a panic . I have the Pgad and some brain shakes and burning in my head and aches and teeth pain amd I don’t want to continue on this way ! I don’t want to . I don’t think I can do this any longer . I just don’t think I can . Do this life like this anymore 

[Jami]

I am giving up 🤷‍♀️I can’t take this every day . I can’t fight anymore ! I can’t fight this life anymore ! I can’t . I can’t . I can’t ! Please god I don’t understand thsi 

[BaccatePlayer]

@Jami please don't get fooled by this. This all feels real, but you're not dying and there's recovery underway. You have to keep forcefully throw yourself out of rumminations. Don't poke the thoughts of you being in this condition cause it will be like poking a broken bone. This is all just panic. All anxiety and rumminations. Nothing but excess adrenaline. It doesn't feel like but it is a fuel for your symptoms to flare up. Do not stay in desperate mode, you gotta be distracted until your mind learns to ignore the possibility that you're in need to prepare for ultimate danger. You're not going insane and you're not in need to do anything. Can you have someone who will lead your focus? Maybe a therapist? Please, don't put yourself in the wrong mindset cause that will only make your following days more miserable than they need to be. There are so many coping strategies for anxiety and panic here. Have a browsing. The more you understand your symptoms, the less scary they are. You can despair as much as you want, but this only encourages your mind to stay in fight or flight mode. I'm really sorry you're going through this, but it won't be a pleasant process and you need to understand your current perspective is just one of possible moods on the spectrum you can be. Do what you can do and don't make this harder for yourself cause you can only choose how you react. If the symptoms are there, you have to accept no med, no tears and no regrets will change that, but they will eventually pass. Your mind will be producing catastrophic predictions because it's worried about your safety, so it keeps you hyperstimulated. Don't identify yourself with it, I beg of you. It's not as it seems to be.

[Jami]

Thank you for that . It does feel so real . It feels like I can’t understand. All of what u said . I had a scare in 21 that my Lyme came back and I treated it and treated it . And my symptmms never went away . And I am waiting for my last lab test to come back in a few days . It’s making me so anxious . All of this : I know these symptoms have to be wds but they are so relentless . And so crazy . And the fact that the drs and people have put me into this trauma Becaise they said I have illness and not wds . And I believed them . It’s been one nogknate med after the other . And I haven’t had the chance to feel normal In 4 years . I know what ure saying . It’s so hard to push on . And when I wake up it’s the worst . Feeling like omg another day : I am trying to learn to except this . But for some reason having a very hard time trying to do that . Thank you so much for reaching out to me : 🙏❤️‍🩹

[Jami]

God please help me ! I think the Prozac that I’m on is causing this Pgad and teeth pain . I don’t know but I keep hearing that ssri cause this and Becaise I have been on so many meds and come off them I don’t know what’s what Amd I can’t taper that yet ! I’m scared ! I feel trapped ! I don’t know what to do ! Mabe the Prozac is giving me this . It seemed to have gotten worse when I went on the Prozac . I had it coming off meds also but I have it bad still this far off my other meds , ? I cannot take it anymore ! Amy of this ! I don’t want to be on this orozac anymore and I’m stuck on it ! Please god help me 

[Jami]

Page is relentless w the nerve pains I. My teeth etc . I don’t know what to do . I have to come down on the Prozac . I am getting liquid on may 10 . Please help me to taper this . So I have to switch over slow to the liquod . I don’t know . I really think the Prozac is causing this severe Pgad . But I’m not sure Becaise I had come off so many diff meds . And had it coming off and while on . I am at the end ! I don’t think I can continue on . I feel so stuck ! I feel like no one understands? I read that Pgad can come from ssri also . And I don’t want to be stuck on this med longer than I have to . Please help me 

[LostInCanada]

32 minutes ago, Jami said:

Please help me 

I suggest you slowly reread all the advice you have been given. Do your own research on here. You are responsible for your own decisions. 

[BaccatePlayer]

@Jami this is still too much panic. You're actively frying your system and it doesn't even have enough relief to cool down. Please don't feed this desperation. If you just let your thoughts dictate your direction like this you'll never escape their lies. The mod will reply in a free moment, but you need to be patient, there are no quick solutions. If you fixate on the current moment and view it as determinant you'll be panicking and increasing your pain over and over again for hours. Keep it simple. Please. You control your doses, ease your stressful mind by coping with panic and rumminations and it will pass. I know you are tempted to feel the answer is to be found, but it's really straightforward. Don't try to solve it all at once. Sitting and wondering about illnesses, causes and where you are now makes everyone including you unable to help you. Stuff your mind with something lighter cause the longer you foster the habbit of catastrophizing, the more difficult it will be to break it. Think about how miserable it would be if you had to spend so many days and you were just crying for rescue all the time. You don't have to. You really have enough strength to direct your thoughts elsewhere. There's no need and no use of rumminations, if you have so much energy, please trust that working on your alerted mind with stress reducing strategies is best you can do now. You're in the right place and people want to help you. There's really nothing you can do to make it shorter or less painful than it has to be. So please slow down, I know it's sounds impossible, but it's for your own good.

[Jami]

Lost in Canada ….. wow . 😳🫤

[LostInCanada]

38 minutes ago, Jami said:

Lost in Canada ….. wow

It is up to you whether you wish to accept the advice or not. This site's goal is to lessen the impact of withdrawal. If you want to taper prozac the choice is yours. 

[Jami]

I’m afraid . I feel like no one understands me . I am afraid that the Prozac is causing my Pgad as well . I’m sorry ! I really am . I am struggling here so badly . I really am . I never had a phyc issue before . And this past 4 years has been one after the other being polydrugged and it’s so scary cause I haven’t been able to get peace or a window of no symptoms . I’m 4 years . I don’t even recognize myself anymore : I look and feel 100 . I am trying : I really am . I am just having such a hard time being that this has been so long going on for me . Having came off k , and then lex . And then wds from that and baclofen and gabbapentin and then valume and zyprexa …. And I am just really really frustrated and angry . That this is going on for so long . And there is no time frame that I’m off those drugs . So , I’m sorry . If like I’m bothering u guys or something I feel like : but I’m having a very very hard time w this being another summer coming . And I’m getting older and can’t do the things I wanted to do now . 

[Jami]

I also just read in someone’s thread that they hears antiphycotic drugs cause permanent damage ? And it’s been almost 9 weeks off a 14 month liquid taper of 2.5 . ? So yes . I’m scared shitless ! I’m sorry if I have been annoying or something : but this is very scary and very depressing to not know if there is an end or when ? 

[BaccatePlayer]

10 minutes ago, Jami said:

drugs cause permanent damage ?

Stay away from these stories! How do you benefit from that? We all heal and heading recovery. Focus on what you can do. I've been making the same mistakes, but trust me it only makes things worse. Your vulnerable mind is not in a good condition to dwell on such things now. Your conclusions will be biased and unrealistic.

 

18 minutes ago, Jami said:

very scary and very depressing to not know if there is an end or when ? 

There is an end and you'll definitelly know when this happen. Please, don't look at how powerful your feelings are. Start chasing what benefits you. We are there for you, but are you there for yourself?

[Emonda]

8 hours ago, Jami said:

I just woke up and I’m a panic

 

It's not nice, but it is temporary, Jami.

 

If you are able, get outside for a walk and chat with a trusted friend. Talking with a friend as you walk outside is a helpful distraction.

 

You will recover from this with time and much patience.

 

It's wonderful to have LostinCanada and BaccatePlayer jump in and offer support and encouragement. A calming voice is so important at this time.

 

Yesterday, I actually did what LostinCanda suggested to you this morning. I went back and read my thread from start to finish (not that long for me - I read my longer offline diary, too). It was helpful to reflect on my journey, the links provided to me by the first moderator who responded to me, and the wonderful encouragement from LostinCanada.

 

Sometimes, you have to grab onto anything to get to the next minute, hour, day, etc.

 

Keep pushing, Jami

[Jami]

It was very very nice of them . I think I took it into the wrong context I’m not myself at the moment . But I do appreciate them . I haven’t walked outside in a while . I think I had fallen into a serious depression from all of this . And I had told them that I was waiting for this Lyme test to come back . And I called the lab and they said it’s not ready yet . But the strange thing is they said the test will only show antibodies and that I have at some point been exposed if possitive . I have been treated and treated for it durning this time . And still have my symptoms. So my new dr knows about bind and phyc med wds . So she said Mabe it is just the wds . That the test will not show if I infact have active Lyme even if possitive cause I have had it on past . So I am just mentally exhausted.  And the symptoms make me have health anxiety. No one told me that in 21 that could have been just antibodies . They told me I had active Lyme . Just like these f drs know nothing . I was told I wasn’t in wds all this time that it can’t happen 😢when I had akarhesia they told me o had anxiety . I never had anxiety or aka before . So.  Yes.  A lot been going on for almost 4 years and had to come off beimg polydrugged for one wd after the other . I’m sorry I’m blabbing on . It’s just what is on my mind . This entire mess . Feels like I’m just going insane . When I never was before 😩. Mabe I will go for a walk tomm . Thank you for ure post . 🙏

[Boges11]

Just wanted to say I’m so sorry… I am in a very similar situation and when you have acathisia, it’s almost impossible to calm down. Everybody’s trying to tell you to. it’s such a torturous situation and we literally have to survive 2nd to 2nd and people that have not been in that situation. Can’t even begin to understand what that feeling is like not having extreme panic or anxiety. It’s not the same thing.
aka terror is a whole diff beast, all consuming like glue and can’t think straight and want to scream and run and thrash all of it at the same tome.

I’m in the same situation so I completely understand and I am so so so sorry. You dont  deserve this, no one deserves aka. 
 

 I also went through medical trauma for the last four years because of one panic attack in the hospital when I had Covid like symptoms. So last four years. So many meds after being told I had anxiety and panic and issues with all being changed about so quickly inducing aka. I was completely normal happy loved life for my 37yrs. 
 

I’ll never understand this abd pray that God delivers us from this hell. I’m stuck on mirt forced on psych ward for aka and it’s mage it worse, have had mania etc and can’t move down much at all in complete hysterics sobbing and screaming.

i coped thru 3yr hell of Klonopin taper so know all the coping tools and this has just been impossible feeling.

lean on anyone around you that you can abd reach out here….. one hour at a time. My brain too is off the charts these last few days and we just gotta trust we will survive. Hugs and love