☼ theelt712: tapering off Zoloft

[theelt712]

The gas has worn off but now I have pretty bad muscle weakness. I'm achy and pretty damn tired as well.  I'm sure that the cold of North Adams isn't a very good factor in all of this, either. The cold tends to make me ache and anxiety tends to make me swallow more air.

[theelt712]

Hey all, so I figured out a huge cause of my symptoms. You guessed it, PMS. The PMS seems to get more horrible with each period that passes, I keep getting more nervous. Things weren't as bad today, as I was more distracted, but I did have bad nausea and stomach cramping, as well as dizziness at some points/shortness of breath. I keep getting worried that it's going to be serious and something terrible will happen.

[theelt712]

Ahh, so I got my period and everything sucked. I was breathless and anxious, really fatigued and at one point, believed I was going to die right then and there. I held my breath and tried getting air but it didn't work. It felt a little better, with anxiety coming back during certain periods but it went away. This was on Tuesday. A lot is better, but now...I'm actually having...some sort of...EMOTIONS. This is shocking, I know. The first emotion to really come back was sadness. I thought I was having a great day yesterday, but it was ruined by me realizing how lonely I am and that I felt like I was getting sick again. I started to feel 30-40% sadness, so much so that I started crying. I felt blunted, 20% happiness earlier in the day, the air smelled good and it seemed peaceful. I literally started crying in the middle of a grocery store. Well, if it's taken 8 months to reach this point, I can imagine what I'll be like at 16 months [septemberish]. My PMS keeps getting worse and that scares me. I'm afraid something will happen to me. I keep having really, really vivid dreams almost nightly.

 

I experienced another bout of 30% sadness today thinking about a death that happened. The question really is...when will I feel like me again?

[mammaP]

This is hard to cope with but it is a sign that you are healing. Neuro emotions exaggerate whatever 

it is you are feeling. You can read about them in symptoms and self care, you've probably seen 

them already. I remember feeling happy because I was crying at something on tv, then cried happy

tears because I was crying sad tears! How mad is that? I was just emotional at feeling emotion again.

 

It will settle down again, it's a good sign. PMS, what can I say about that?  Hopefully that will get easier too

as your body recovers, I hope so. 

[theelt712]

Thanks, mamma, for good advice. Oh my God, what I just experienced was scary. What happened was that I was so upset that I had chest pains that were brief and then I got scared that I would have a heart attack. I got really upset. Not 100% sadness but 40%....the urge to cry was literally overwhelming. Nothing was working to distract me, and my legs were getting weak. My breathing got really slow and I  felt that my legs were getting fatigued. I got fatigued as well. This lasted for the better part of an hour, but I feel a little better now. At least we know that some recovery is happening.

[theelt712]

Holy muscle fatigue! I'm having severe muscle tension, spasms, and all around aches. A huge drop in temperature could be a huge factor. I'm making sure to eat bananas, two a day, cereal, and drink a lot of water, but none of it seems to help. Oddly enough, I also have horrible dry mouth. I keep drinking water, so I'm puzzled as to why this is. I had a dream about everyone last night. I had a dream that I went on benzos and took them everyday for about a month [I have no plans to take benzos, nonetheless take them regularly as was done in my dream] and I was extremely scared and frightened as to what this withdrawal would bring. I met a member of another forum, and they were a close friend of mine. Finally, they died or left for some reason and I posted that all I could really feel now was intense sadness. I actually did have an odd sense of sadness in the dream. The dream finally ended. I woke up with terrible muscle stiffness and tension, as usual.

 

My dry mouth could be due to phlegm build up but that doesn't explain the terrible muscle tension. I'm sensitive to magnesium, so I don't think I could take that [magnesium was in the Digel I was taking, and it makes me feel horrible in high amounts]. The plot thickens.

[Karma]

Hi ELT

 

Are you taking any other medications that might be contributing to the muscle tension/spasms and dry mouth?  Those sound like side effects from any number of drugs.  The muscle tension in particular sounds like something you would want to bring to the attention of a doctor if it showed up as a side effect to a medication.

 

Our bodies must have magnesium.  It is what helps the body absorb all other nutrients.  However, an excess of magnesium will lead to loose bowels.  You may have had issues with magnesium in a medication before because it was too much additional magnesium to what you were getting in your diet already.  You might try the smallest available magnesium to see if it helps with your muscle spasms.  Take it to bowel tolerance.  I like magnesium glycinate.

 

Karma

[theelt712]

I am not on any medications, no.

[theelt712]

Hello everyone! Well, I'm 8 months off today, after the hardest month that I've ever gone through in WD so far. Hopefully, there won't be anymore times like month 7. PMS, however, has been worsening every month but it also comes with the return of more emotions, interestingly. Hopefully, as warmer weather comes, WD won't be so bad. I hate this 'not feeling 100%' bs, though. I'm trying to focus on other interests and school, but sometimes, I just don't feel motivated. I found a penny on the ground that was head's up today when walking. Hopefully, it's a sign of better times ahead. Still trying to keep on trekking. [see what I did there?] Anyway, I'm hoping the future's better.

[Petunia]

Congratulations on being med free for 8 months, you are doing well.  We stopped the same time, my last medication was May 2013.  You are young and were only taking them a short time, I'm sure you will be completely recovered soon.

[alex]

Congratulations on being med free for 8 months, you are doing well.  We stopped the same time, my last medication was May 2013.  You are young and were only taking them a short time, I'm sure you will be completely recovered soon.

 

Ditto!!

[theelt712]

Thank you guys, the support means a lot to me. I kicked off month 8 today with...the least anxious day I've had in a while. I wasn't even thinking about my heart much, I was thinking about my newfound obsession with Spock and my fanfiction that I wrote A LOT of today. I wrote 6 pages of writing, and it was a great accomplishment to me. Something was completed. I was too focused on my writing to do much else today. Yay! Month 8 has begun great-ly.

[theelt712]

I'm having a weird, altered mental state. It started today after I woke up from a mid afternoon nap. Physically, I'm alright, I can make sentences and speak normally, but my head's kinda foggy. I feel like I am daydreaming a bit, even though I am awake and that my head's so 'clear' and sometimes I forget things. It's weird- it's like I have no thought process. o.O Also, my breathing issues are odd and I get a little lightheaded at points from it, feeling like I will stop breathing. It is for a few seconds, but still. Scary.

[theelt712]

Oh yeah...this is awful. This...right here...is awful. My breathing is worse off than it ever has been, I'm extremely lightheaded at times, my heart rate goes weird at times and I just don't feel right. When I closed my eyes last night, I couldn't go to bed because my breathing was odd and my head was spinning until 12. I feel breathless a lot, almost like I'm asthmatic. I try to hold my breath a lot, and I catch myself doing that a lot. I'm nervous that I will faint, and sometimes when my breathing's odd, I feel my knees go weak. What's pissing me off is that I had two really good days where nothing went wrong and now I'm WORSE than I've been in a really long time. None of this WD stuff is fascinating...nor logical...I'm looking for the logic of it myself! It just DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!  I keep trying to reassure myself that it will get better today, all to no avail. My mother will just write me off, so I really don't tell her much. All I know is that I'm pissed that this is happening. Plus..I think it's PMS. Why? I was beginning to cramp yesterday and my breathing issues are AWFUL in PMS. I don't start PMS until next Friday...so what is this, two weeks of this BS? Ugh...enough of my rambling. I had to get this out somewhere.

[Altostrata]

Stop holding your breath. Instead, develop a habit of deep, slow breathing. This will not only oxygenate your blood but calm you down.

[theelt712]

Thank you for the advice! I'm noticing that this may be low blood sugar contributing as well. I'm going on day 3 of this crap. When walking sometimes, and my breathing gets all slow and weird like it is now, my knees get weak and I fear that I'll pass out, my eyes close but I never pass out. When I feel better, my heart rate will go up to 116 resting and 130 with activity. o.O I'm upping my water intake, got another severe ovary cramp, which reminds me that this all may just be 'PMS' or 'anxiety'.  I feel like this might be different though. I feel like there may actually be a problem, but my mom will not take me to the ER.

[Altostrata]

Be sure to eat regular meals with plenty of healthy complex carbs, like beans, lentils, and brown rice.

[theelt712]

Thank you! Tonight's meal will be healthier than most. I've been shaking so much because I've been so nervous. I'm frightened about my heart rate, as it's been high, my dizziness, everything. I'm shaking like crazy, I can't stop, it's like I'm shivering, and I'm tired. It sucks. I need help but I'm just...nervous that something's wrong. I hate all of this BS. I don't usually post everyday but the past few days have just been horrendous. I don't know how to deal.

[Altostrata]

Hypoglycemia can cause or exacerbate those symptoms.

 

Eat some whole-grain bread or crackers right away.

 

Please try to take care of yourself in every way possible, including eating regularly and breathing regularly. Please stop sending yourself into symptom patterns from not eating and holding your breath.

[theelt712]

Another awful day. Whenever I wasn't dizzy or breathless, I was downright tired. I couldn't focus on too much, and sitting in a hot classroom made matters worse. I never threw up or got nauseous today, I just kept feeling like I would stop breathing and that the room was spinning. My main issue today was the breathlessness. When I coughed, my ribs and body hurt. I was lightheaded at points, trying to force myself not to hold my breath but it wouldn't work. My breathing's evened out a bit now, but I'm too tired to do very much. My brain can't get its crap together, it feels like, and everything feels weird, even though I know everything is the same.  It's a feeling of oddness, not scared or anything, just oddness. Seriously considering an ER visit tomorrow if it's this bad.

[theelt712]

Alright, so, I went and got checked out today....I have an upper respiratory infection and fluid in my ears, causing the vertigo and breathing issues. Unfortunately, the virus has to run its course. I was given Tylenol and Motrin in the hospital, and prescribed Benadryl to take at home. I hate infections, but at least we have a cause of breathing issues.  

[theelt712]

The good news is that the vertigo has mostly stopped...for now. BUT....the breathing issues are still there. Not AS bad as it was but still there. Chest pressure was there, too. Trying not to have heart fears, it's hard not to. It is the virus, I suppose. I am nervous about it, still.

[Petunia]

I hope your virus clears up soon, its good you are feeling a bit better.

 

You have had breathing problems for quite a long time, have you ever thought of learning some breathing exercises to help improve it.  Learning how to breathe properly can help to reduce stress and anxiety.

 

I found a couple of links which may give you some ideas.  One of them contains information about a little device you wear which regularly prompts you to remember to breathe properly.

 

http://www.coedu.usf.edu/zalaquett/help_screens/breath.htm

 

http://stop-anxiety-attack-symptoms.com/breathing.html

[theelt712]

Hey Petu! I've tried breathing exercises, but they are pretty hit or miss. I'm still feeling strange....at points, I could feel the fluid moving around in my head, like it's warm/wet liquid. The chest pressure has frightened me, and I'm still coughing. My breathing, at times, has felt like I'm not even breathing, and I wake up feeling my heart pound, breathless, and anxious for the past two mornings. I wake up with the anxiousness and chest pressure. It's pretty bad when I wake up, I wake up with anxiety. I just want this breathing issue and stuff to go away. Luckily, I have meditation class tomorrow and my doctor has said that this is not life or death for me, at least, the ER doc said that yesterday.

[theelt712]

Hey everyone, I'm currently really tired after taking a gas pill [that isn't Digel] and now I want to sleep. Badly. Today, I was awake- more awake than I have been in days. I have been sad for the past couple days over a failed relationship, I've been wishing I could turn back time and fix things and I've been feeling like a total idiot and unmotivated to do much of anything. My mom's been depressed and we've been arguing a bit. No full emotion yet but I've been really tired and wishing I could turn back time with a lot of stuff. I forgot to post here about anything, I'm sorry.

[mammaP]

Hi Theelt, sorry about the relationship, let yourself grieve and the hurt will lessen with time. 

If we could turn back time....... how cool would that be? 

 

I hope your chest infection is getting better, it's good that the vertigo is gone now.  

Don't worry about not posting, it's always good when you update but don't feel guilty when 

you don't, you have a life to live. 

[Altostrata]

theelt, heartbreak is a lifestyle at your age. It's your hormones doing the talking.

 

I've transferred my devotion from Mr. Spock to Sherlock.

[theelt712]

I've heard about Sherlock, Alto! Have you been watching series 3? How is it?

 

Anywho, I'm STILL going through a lot, day after day, keeps getting worse. Apart from chest pressure, intermittent dizziness and me still taking in too much air without realizing it- plus not getting enough sleep [so my head feels fuzzy at times], 2 major emotional events happened, one was losing a best friend over an argument and another is quite personal but it's ripping me up as much as the anhedonia is allowing me to be ripped up. It's awful. I feel like everyday's a battle and nothing gets better. This time, I'm losing interest in things not only because of anhedonia but because of life events.

[Altostrata]

theelt, you are a sensitive person. You get hurt easily. Please acknowledge this and take care of yourself. Surround yourself with people who cherish this in you.

 

Season 4 of Sherlock was charming. Watch it, you'll like it.

[theelt712]

Hey guys. The past few days have been a bit of hell in a handbasket. I'm having trapped gas, bloating, and really bad muscle cramps from time to time. My anxiety has been through the roof. I've been having muscle cramps in a lot of spots, they last a few seconds and come and go often. I've had slight palps with stomach issues as well. I'm afraid to take a gas pill because they always make me want to fall asleep. I get the muscle aches and cramps when I do almost anything. I've had bouts of constipation. I've almost fainted a few times, and I've had odd breathing issues [feeling like I am not breathing, I have actually gotten weak in the knees from this]/shortness of breath. Unfortunately, I am now uninsured and cannot see a doctor. This has raised my hypochondria issues through the roof. I've been having issues sleeping, waking up, staying up for a few hours and then going back to sleep at like 4 or 5. THIS sucks....and keeps getting worse. I know I am at a breaking point.

[Altostrata]

How is it you are uninsured? You should be covered under Obamacare.

 

Try to stay calm, don't let your health anxiety take over. What are you doing to settle your digestion?

[Skyler]

Obamacare... this is Massachusetts, Obamacare was fashioned after us.. Romneycare if one recalls (wish we had single payer).  Good question... how did you come to be without health insurance?

 

Hope you did not get pelted with too much snow!

[theelt712]

We got TOO MUCH snow. My mother and I are tired of it. I think I may be magnesium deficient...which is a problem, because I am sensitive to supplements, it seems. About the insurance thing, I do not know the logistics to some of it. I almost fainted in the shower...which is scary. I kept breathing in through my nose fastly, then it seemed like I wasn't breathing, which I tried moving, and got lightheaded. I am trying to breathe normally but I keep holding in my breath and blinking, fighting it is no use. Unfortunately. These episodes can last for 1-2 hours at a time and I have to sit down. I am nervous that the deficiency will keep progressing into really bad health issues. :/

[Altostrata]

Why do you think you're magnesium deficient?

 

You seem to have a lot of breathing problems. Are you over the flu?

 

Did you talk to a doctor about the breathing problems?

[theelt712]

I never had flu but I do think I am fighting a cold. Breathing issues were discussed with a doc, who said my lung function was fine. :/ I think I am deficient because of muscle cramps and slight palpitations at times.

[Altostrata]

How has your practice of meditative breathing progressed?