Addax: 30 years with Fluoxetine and tapering

[Thorin]

3 hours ago, Addax said:

Have felt stable with a few days of feeling almost better than WD normal. This has been true leading up to the high stress work related task and the day afterward.  The day off, I was definitely feeling anxious and shaky in the morning. I have no idea if I would have felt differently if not for withdrawal. Maybe the waking anxiety and shakiness wouldn’t have been there. The anxiety, however, is par for the course, so who knows. 
 

Now I have a chunk of time before the next stressor, so I made a cut from 6.4 to 6.3mg 3 weeks after my last drop.  A week earlier than I’d planned, but I’m letting my brain and body guide me along with sticking with the very small drops. Always a risk, and I dislike risking the loss of feel so well, but I’m cautiously optimistic that it’ll be okay with the decrease in amount and frequency of cuts (as opposed to the brassmonkey slide). 
 

Some cool news. I purchased some 10ml tubes with caps that are reported not to leak to put pre-measured amounts of the fluoxetine solution in so I wouldn’t have to travel with a bottle and syringe and measure out the amount each morning. The whole measuring thing is so tedious, and I’ve grown increasingly resentful of the process, especially when I have to use two syringes to make up the 0.1 difference since my other syringe only has tics at 0.2. It worked awesome! I tested the tubes and seal for several days prior to my trip, leaving a few, filled with water in various positions and carrying one in my purse. No leaks! And there were no leaks during the trip. Each morning I emptied the tube with the pre-measured amount into my mouth, filled it with water and drank that too, and was done. It was awesome!! I knew I’d be stressed and that I might lose track of whether I drank the liquid so I labeled each with a day of the week. 
 

It was so easy, and so mindless not having to measure and keep track daily, that I have decided that I will do that from here on out. Measure out seven days, just like the pill organizer I use for my vitamins. At 6.3 I’d be using 2 syringes… now it’ll just be a quick shot of liquid along with my vitamins. Such a silly thing to become excited about. 
 

These are the tubes via Amazon (USA): 10ml tubes with caps

 

One other thing I notice about my anxiety in anticipation of this recent stressful task is that I wasn’t distracted by an increase in fatigue. Over the last couple years I would become so stressed that I would intermittently have to nap. I thought it was an unconscious attempt at avoidance, however, I also know that paratroopers often yawn in anticipation of having to jump out of airplanes, and stress is very taxing (hence what they call adrenaline dumps following high stress situations/events). So my guess is that these smaller, less frequent cuts allows have allowed my body to adjust and regulate more efficiently and effectively. 
 

I’m nervous after every cut. Fingers crossed I don’t feel the cut, or that it’s a very, very mild response. 🤞

Fingers crossed for you Addax.

[j1290]

6 hours ago, Addax said:

Now I have a chunk of time before the next stressor, so I made a cut from 6.4 to 6.3mg 3 weeks after my last drop.  A week earlier than I’d planned, but I’m letting my brain and body guide me along with sticking with the very small drops. Always a risk, and I dislike risking the loss of feel so well, but I’m cautiously optimistic that it’ll be okay with the decrease in amount and frequency of cuts (as opposed to the brassmonkey slide). 

I think that's so smart.  I adjust my taper around work as well.  Why make tapering harder than it has to be?  I hear you about being apprehensive of starting a cut, I seem to regularly wonder if I'm ready to do it or not.  

 

6 hours ago, Addax said:

It was so easy, and so mindless not having to measure and keep track daily, that I have decided that I will do that from here on out.

Nice!  Someone ought to put the AD shooters idea on the liquid tapering thread.  I bet someone else will like the idea as well.  

I used to do the tedious daily oral syringe thing too and I resented the **** out of it after a month.   Now I just whip up the 3 x daily shooters the night before and it only takes 5 minutes since I'm practiced.  Also I just ordered some tubes like yours, Addax, I decided I didn't like mine because they're glass and I didn't want to carry those around.  

 

6 hours ago, Addax said:

I’m nervous after every cut. Fingers crossed I don’t feel the cut, or that it’s a very, very mild response. 🤞

Fingers crossed this one is easy peasy!

 

[Addax]

20 hours ago, j1290 said:

Also I just ordered some tubes like yours

Let me know what you think. I’m confident you’ll like them. I have mine labeled and ready to go. One warning, if you use a syringe to fill them, do it slowly. Otherwise it splashes out. For me that’s a bid deal because of how sensitive I am to small changes in the amount.  I had to start over with a couple of them. Still, I’m so psyched for these easy-breezy shooters.  

 

23 hours ago, Thorin said:

Fingers crossed for you Addax.

 

 

20 hours ago, j1290 said:

Fingers crossed this one is easy peasy!

Thank you both!! 🥰

[Addax]

Holding at 6.3mg. It’s been a delightfully uneventful couple of weeks. However, I have given myself a scare and am now terrified I made a mistake when mixing my fluoxetine solution.  To make the prescription solution ratio 1ml:1mg I have to mix 1 part solution to 3 parts water. Last night when I mixed I did 1 part solution to two parts water. I hesitated, double checked the “recipe,” realized the error and added the third part of water. Now I am terrified that I only did 1:2 last time. Id I did it would mean I’ve been taking much more fluoxetine than intended for at least two weeks. I am terrified that this is why the last few weeks have been so stable and some days better than stable.  I’m too anxious/distracted to figure out how much fluoxetine is in 6.3mg if I mixed 1:2 rather than 1:3. For reference, to prescription solution is 20mg fluoxetine to 5ml. I so hope I didn’t make the error and that was just this time, and that I’m scared for no reason. But I’ll be gripped with this fear and hypervigilant for at least 2 weeks while I wait to see how I feel.
 

The stability may be due to slowing down and small cuts… I truly, truly, hope so. 😢🤞

[j1290]

11 hours ago, Addax said:

However, I have given myself a scare and am now terrified I made a mistake when mixing my fluoxetine solution.

Oh, brother, I've done stuff like that!   😂😂  It suuuuuuucks to get that sinking feeling like WTF, have I been doing this wrong for *how* long?!?   It's super easy to make mistakes.   After panicking I'd sort it out and find the least-worst way to go forward.  

 

I'm hoping it was a one time thing, and if not, that you nipped it in the bud before your body got too used to the higher dose so it's easier to shake off.  

 

I don't know about you, but the lessons I learn from mistakes are not soon forgotten.  I'd bet this doesn't happen again anytime soon.  Hang tough, cowboy, you got this! 🤠  I'm pulling for you, Addax!

[Thorin]

11 hours ago, Addax said:

Holding at 6.3mg. It’s been a delightfully uneventful couple of weeks. However, I have given myself a scare and am now terrified I made a mistake when mixing my fluoxetine solution.  To make the prescription solution ratio 1ml:1mg I have to mix 1 part solution to 3 parts water. Last night when I mixed I did 1 part solution to two parts water. I hesitated, double checked the “recipe,” realized the error and added the third part of water. Now I am terrified that I only did 1:2 last time. Id I did it would mean I’ve been taking much more fluoxetine than intended for at least two weeks. I am terrified that this is why the last few weeks have been so stable and some days better than stable.  I’m too anxious/distracted to figure out how much fluoxetine is in 6.3mg if I mixed 1:2 rather than 1:3. For reference, to prescription solution is 20mg fluoxetine to 5ml. I so hope I didn’t make the error and that was just this time, and that I’m scared for no reason. But I’ll be gripped with this fear and hypervigilant for at least 2 weeks while I wait to see how I feel.
 

The stability may be due to slowing down and small cuts… I truly, truly, hope so. 😢🤞

Oof it’s hard when things like this happen. They changed up my brand which seems Ed to be much stronger than what I was used to and I took that for a few weeks before realising what the problem was. I was able to change back with no issues. I hope this was just a little mistake!! These mistakes are temporary as someone on here said to me once. I have no doubt you’ll be ok!

[Addax]

So if I did the 1:2 ratio of Fluoxetine to water rather than the 1:3, I would have been taking the equivalent of about 8.4mg for the last couple of weeks. This would mean that my current 6.3mg would be a 25% drop. That’s huge! Given what I know about my recent pattern of symptom onset after a drop, I would be feeling something by now. At least the weird shifting feeling in my vision when I turned my head and foggy fatigue.
 

I had my now typical Monday morning cortisol/anxiety surge and spent Monday convinced I was about to cascade off a cliff. I disregard the fact I hadn’t slept well (actually, horribly, because I was stressing over the error I may or may not have made), and decided my fatigue was an emerging withdrawal symptom. I was also anxious all day… which I counted as a symptom, despite the feeling being qualitatively different from my experience of withdrawal induced anxiety symptoms.  Then I slept well last night, and woke up at WD baseline. 
 

Short story: I’m cautiously optimistic that I did not make the error I feared I made.  I’m not out of the woods, but I feel more confident that I might not even be in the woods. Fingers still crossed, and I’m sure that for several more days every fluctuation I feel or any kind I will interpret as the sky falling.

[j1290]

11 minutes ago, Addax said:

Fingers still crossed, and I’m sure that for several more days every fluctuation I feel or any kind I will interpret as the sky falling.

Fingers crossed here too.  You said it, my guess is you'd be feeling a 25% drop sooner rather than later.  Here's hoping for the best!

[Thorin]

27 minutes ago, Addax said:

So if I did the 1:2 ratio of Fluoxetine to water rather than the 1:3, I would have been taking the equivalent of about 8.4mg for the last couple of weeks. This would mean that my current 6.3mg would be a 25% drop. That’s huge! Given what I know about my recent pattern of symptom onset after a drop, I would be feeling something by now. At least the weird shifting feeling in my vision when I turned my head and foggy fatigue.
 

I had my now typical Monday morning cortisol/anxiety surge and spent Monday convinced I was about to cascade off a cliff. I disregard the fact I hadn’t slept well (actually, horribly, because I was stressing over the error I may or may not have made), and decided my fatigue was an emerging withdrawal symptom. I was also anxious all day… which I counted as a symptom, despite the feeling being qualitatively different from my experience of withdrawal induced anxiety symptoms.  Then I slept well last night, and woke up at WD baseline. 
 

Short story: I’m cautiously optimistic that I did not make the error I feared I made.  I’m not out of the woods, but I feel more confident that I might not even be in the woods. Fingers still crossed, and I’m sure that for several more days every fluctuation I feel or any kind I will interpret as the sky falling.

Excellent news!

[Addax]

@j1290 & @Thorin

 

I appreciate you both - your presence, your words… so much. 🥰

Edited July 26, 2023 by Addax

[Thorin]

10 minutes ago, Addax said:

@j1290 & @Thorin

 

I appreciate you both - your presence, your words… so much. 🥰

Well we appreciate you too!

[Addax]

So not only does it not appear that I made the error I feared, things have gone well. I took a risk last week by tapering from 6.3mg to 6.2mg after 3 weeks at 6.3mg. There were no apparent significant consequences aside from and uptick of waking anxiety for a couple days.
 

I have to feel well/stable during the last week of August and first week of September for work related reasons.  So I’m anticipating making a 0.1mg cut around the 14th. 
 

It’s a beautiful day… I feel like I should to do something outdoors, but I am quite content to do nothing and just leave all my windows open. 

Edited August 6, 2023 by Addax

[Addax]

So maybe I did make the error? I thought I would have felt it sooner than friday. But it is Fluoxetine with it's long half-life that makes it so hard for me to gauge what is responsible for a wave. Of course, it could be nothing but the typical wave and window pattern. 

In any event, I am in a wave and it sucks. This one is slightly different than others I've had. So far anyway. Mostly I'm very, very tired and want very badly to sleep. Some difficulty focusing and ruminating some on the problems this lack of focus is causing in terms or getting work done.  It's also triggering some anxiety around the ever looming fear I have that I might go careening off a WD cliff and land back in the state I was in in 2014. I hate this so much.

 

 

[j1290]

Oh, buddy, that Fluoxetine half life sure sounds like a sticky wicket!  I'm sorry to hear that you're in a wave.  Are you getting unusual symptoms or intensity?  Those were the red flags for me that something was amiss. 

 

I'm looking at your signature, and what I'm reading is that you've been doing great with this.  I have to think that based on the evidence you're going to get back on this horse and ride it to victory.  This setback, if it is a setback, doesn't define you and is just an uncomfortable bump in the road.  Don't  make it bigger than it is, chief.  I know you're amazing and this too shall pass.  Hang tight!  You'll figure this one out like you have all the others.   

[littlebird]

3 hours ago, Addax said:

It's also triggering some anxiety around the ever looming fear I have that I might go careening off a WD cliff and land back in the state I was in in 2014. I hate this so much.

Right there with you on that fear! I'm so afraid of losing what little control I have and becoming fully non-functioning. So hard! So scary! 

 

3 hours ago, Addax said:

Mostly I'm very, very tired and want very badly to sleep. Some difficulty focusing and ruminating some on the problems this lack of focus is causing in terms or getting work done.

Right there with you. I've been napping, which isn't usually a thing for me, and I just want to kick back and relax. If only life would allow that! Gotta keep plugging away. So hard to focus, feels like more balls are being dropped than staying in the air. This stuff is tough! Hope things even out for you soon.

[Thorin]

5 hours ago, Addax said:

So maybe I did make the error? I thought I would have felt it sooner than friday. But it is Fluoxetine with it's long half-life that makes it so hard for me to gauge what is responsible for a wave. Of course, it could be nothing but the typical wave and window pattern. 

In any event, I am in a wave and it sucks. This one is slightly different than others I've had. So far anyway. Mostly I'm very, very tired and want very badly to sleep. Some difficulty focusing and ruminating some on the problems this lack of focus is causing in terms or getting work done.  It's also triggering some anxiety around the ever looming fear I have that I might go careening off a WD cliff and land back in the state I was in in 2014. I hate this so much.

 

 

It can be so hard to know. So many times I thought things were getting REAL bad and they didn’t. They got difficult for a little bit but I did what my body needed and got through. It’s scary but there’s no way to tell except to go with it. It sure kicks in that withdrawal trauma though!

Fatigue and difficulty concentrating are so common on this journey and they definitely don’t have to mean a crash is imminent. I’ve experienced waves of these symptoms SO many times and been fine a few days or so later. Every time it’s scared me. I think you’ll be ok Addax. But if your body needs to rest I say let it. Keep us posted.

[Fifree]

19 hours ago, Addax said:

Fluoxetine with it's long half-life that makes it so hard for me to gauge what is responsible for a wave. Of course, it could be nothing but the typical wave and window pattern. 

Sorry to hear you’re in a wave Addax. That long half-life makes it super hard to manage.  I’m on Lex and it takes almost two weeks for my symptoms to catch up with me so it must be really tough on Prozac. I’ve made errors like that too - well potential errors… I don’t know if I’ve made them or not… you just have to wait it out and try not to panic. We all fall into that when WD gets a hold of us - it feels like you’re going to be stuck there forever but it passes. I know you went through a particularly torrid time with your earlier taper, but you got better and you will again.  Hang in there. We’re all cheering for you 

[littlebird]

11 hours ago, Fifree said:

We all fall into that when WD gets a hold of us - it feels like you’re going to be stuck there forever but it passes.

WD starter kit: scale and wallhangings that say "this will pass" and "it won't be like this forever"

 

Addax, sorry to hear you're in a wave! Hope it passes soon.

[Addax]

On 8/8/2023 at 1:44 PM, j1290 said:

Oh, buddy, that Fluoxetine half life sure sounds like a sticky wicket!

Ha! Indeed! It really is just that. That’s a great term. 

 

On 8/8/2023 at 1:44 PM, j1290 said:

Are you getting unusual symptoms or intensity? 

Yes and no. I had some insanely intense fatigue during my horrific wd experience back in 2014, but this is the first time since then that I’ve experienced fatigue and brain fog that left me wanting to sleep so badly. Thankfully, It didn’t come anywhere close to the intensity during this recent wave - which ended a day in a half after I post it about it. Phew!!  
 

This stuff IS tough. I am not a fan. 

 

On 8/8/2023 at 4:44 PM, littlebird said:

So hard to focus, feels like more balls are being dropped than staying in the air. This stuff is tough!

Yeah! And I didn’t know if that was part of being tired or a symptom in and of itself.  It would all be more tolerable if not for the doom and gloom thoughts. I turn into Henny-Penny! 
 

On 8/8/2023 at 6:25 PM, Thorin said:

So many times I thought things were getting REAL bad and they didn’t. They got difficult for a little bit but I did what my body needed and got through. It’s scary but there’s no way to tell except to go with it.

That seems to be how it’s been going with me, too. I anticipate it will crush me and get pretty scared but luckily I’ve come to accept that there is nothing I can do but wait and see. 
 

 

On 8/8/2023 at 6:25 PM, Thorin said:

I think you’ll be ok Addax. But if your body needs to rest I say let it.

I am ok! Yay! And you’re probably exactly right. My body told me to slow down and rest and I listened as much as I could.

 

On 8/9/2023 at 8:32 AM, Fifree said:

I’ve made errors like that too - well potential errors… I don’t know if I’ve made them or not… you just have to wait it out and try not to panic. We all fall into that when WD gets a hold of us - it feels like you’re going to be stuck there forever but it passes.

I still don’t know if I made the error. Despite the bump in the road I just hit, it think if I had made the error the bump would have been worse and longer.  
 

i do get scared each time, but I’m better at reminding myself that every other time the bump or wave has passed. 

On 8/9/2023 at 8:32 AM, Fifree said:

Hang in there. We’re all cheering for you

Thank you!  
 

On 8/9/2023 at 8:08 PM, littlebird said:

WD starter kit: scale and wallhangings that say "this will pass" and "it won't be like this forever"

Yes! Maybe I’ll get those tattooed across my collar bone. It would have to be tattooed on backwards so it would look correct in the mirror. 
 

@j1290, @Thorin, @littlebird, @Fifree - Thank you❤️

 

I’m just writing now but I read your words when I was in “it” and the burst of dopamine I get from each of your posts were SO needed and reassuring. 

 

[littlebird]

22 minutes ago, Addax said:

I’m just writing now but I read your words when I was in “it” and the burst of dopamine I get from each of your posts were SO needed and reassuring. 

Happy to help, fellow traveler! ☀️

[Thorin]

47 minutes ago, Addax said:

I’m just writing now but I read your words when I was in “it” and the burst of dopamine I get from each of your posts were SO needed and reassuring. 

Glad you’re feeling better and it was just a blip 😊

[Fifree]

On 8/13/2023 at 10:18 AM, Addax said:

I’m just writing now but I read your words when I was in “it” and the burst of dopamine I get from each of your posts were SO needed and reassuring. 

So very glad to hear that you’re out of your wave and happy we were able to help. Wising you much stability going forward ❤️

 

also, wow! Look at what a low dose you’re on now. It’s very impressive. Take a minute to congratulate yourself on getting back on that very scary horse called WD and winning!

[j1290]

On 8/12/2023 at 5:18 PM, Addax said:

Yes and no. I had some insanely intense fatigue during my horrific wd experience back in 2014, but this is the first time since then that I’ve experienced fatigue and brain fog that left me wanting to sleep so badly. Thankfully, It didn’t come anywhere close to the intensity during this recent wave - which ended a day in a half after I post it about it. Phew!!  
 

This stuff IS tough. I am not a fan. 

I get the fatigue in WD, and it's kinda scary how intense it is.  It's one of the reasons I used to be afraid to drive, it would come on so strong.   

 

Really glad to hear you're feeling better and another day closer to finishing!

[Addax]

Still at 6.2mg and feeling okay.  Part of me wants to taper down .1 mg on Monday. I’ll have been at 6.2 for 3 weeks, but did have that short wave in the middle. If I don’t taper down this Monday, then I’ll have to wait until September 8th, because I have a stressful work related task in the 6th & 7th, that I have to be clear headed for, and have to be clear headed the week before that while I prepare for it. I just can’t risk increasing the risk of experiencing a wave during those weeks.  It’s likely I’ll hold off until after the work related task… it’s just hard not to feel a little over confident when I feel well and stable.  
 

Some people write out what the are grateful for. A gratitude list… I love reading those.  I read someone’s list recently and it reminded me of a I have tucked away in a box of books I still haven’t unpacked. It’s titled, “1,000 things to be happy about.” Or maybe it’s 10,000. It’s a very thick book. I must have read hundreds of things to be happy about from the list, but the only one I remember is tinfoil. I have no idea why I’m even mentioning that here… but there it is.

 

[Addax]

Phew! Made it through the preparation and "execution" of the stressful work related thing.  All my stress and catastrophizing leading up to the task ended with the task not being all that stressful after all.  While I did experience a spike in withdrawal ickiness/waves, including waking dread and anxiety surges, and some shakiness/shivering, along with some pretty intense expected anticipatory anxiety, it was manageable and I'm pretty confident it would have been much worse had I not done the extended hold at 6.2 mg.  It all dissipated as soon as I was engaged in the task and has not returned.

 

I have held at 6.2mg for going on 6 weeks.  I'm considering trying a reduction to 6.0. which is just under 10%, but more then I've been doing with the 0.1mg drops.  0.1 has gone very well, so I'm hopeful the 0.2 will be fine, especially after holding for a solid amount of time.  I'm not a risk taker insofar as withdrawal is involved, but I like whole even numbers. 🙂 

[Thorin]

2 hours ago, Addax said:

Phew! Made it through the preparation and "execution" of the stressful work related thing.  All my stress and catastrophizing leading up to the task ended with the task not being all that stressful after all.  While I did experience a spike in withdrawal ickiness/waves, including waking dread and anxiety surges, and some shakiness/shivering, along with some pretty intense expected anticipatory anxiety, it was manageable and I'm pretty confident it would have been much worse had I not done the extended hold at 6.2 mg.  It all dissipated as soon as I was engaged in the task and has not returned.

 

I have held at 6.2mg for going on 6 weeks.  I'm considering trying a reduction to 6.0. which is just under 10%, but more then I've been doing with the 0.1mg drops.  0.1 has gone very well, so I'm hopeful the 0.2 will be fine, especially after holding for a solid amount of time.  I'm not a risk taker insofar as withdrawal is involved, but I like whole even numbers. 🙂 

Well that’s all pretty good news really Addax. Had to be expected that you’ll get occasional withdrawals but if they’re manageable to the point that you’re considering speeding up your taper then that’s great! I’m considering speeding up mine too. Maybe we’ll both get there quicker!

[Fifree]

6 hours ago, Addax said:

t all dissipated as soon as I was engaged in the task

I do this kind of thing to myself all the time too. Sometimes the anticipation is way worse than the actual event! Glad it went smoothly.

 

6 hours ago, Addax said:

I'm not a risk taker insofar as withdrawal is involved, but I like whole even numbers

I hear you on this for sure! I've been looking at my numbers going forward, once I recommence tapering in November, December, whenever, and I am really going to have to come to terms with the second decimal place. I'm doing a slide now (with the more frequent smaller cuts) and unfortunately those tiny cuts have to be odd sorts of numbers. I'll be mulling it over for the next couple of months for sure... 

 

Good luck with your next cut

[Addax]

On 9/8/2023 at 8:43 PM, Thorin said:

but if they’re manageable to the point that you’re considering speeding up your taper then that’s great! I’m considering speeding up mine too. Maybe we’ll both get there quicker!

It’s sort of a speed up. It’s more like a catch-up… maybe. Because I’m generally stable and the spike in symptoms were relatively minimal during a period of anticipatory anxiety and dissipated almost immediately when the thing I was anticipating happened, AND I have held awhile longer than usual, I think I’ll be able to tolerate the ~9% reduction. If it goes well, I might try a similar % reduction next time. I find it nerve wracking!! As I drop lower it’s likely my reductions will be sub-10% and possibly sub-5% to avoid discomfort. I’m hoping I’ll be able to tolerate 10% hyperbolic drops, but I’m not holding my breath. 
 

So nerve wracking!!

I hope you feel so well and stable that you can proceed faster than anticipated! That would be awesome!

 

 

[Addax]

On 9/9/2023 at 12:53 AM, Fifree said:

Sometimes the anticipation is way worse than the actual event! Glad it went smoothly.

So true! Arg! And then I look back and shake my head at myself for doing so much catastrophizing. I’m sure I’ll do it all over again next time… (((sigh))).

 

On 9/9/2023 at 12:53 AM, Fifree said:

I am really going to have to come to terms with the second decimal place. I'm doing a slide now (with the more frequent smaller cuts) and unfortunately those tiny cuts have to be odd sorts of numbers. I'll be mulling it over for the next couple of months for sure... 

 

It seems like such an innocuous thing to spend time mulling over, but there’s something about those numbers with decimal points that is bothersome, yeah?  I’m going to have to work on coming to terms with these numbers again when I get to the the point of having two numbers after the decimal point.  
 

Thank you for the wish of luck! 

 

 

[Thorin]

8 hours ago, Addax said:

It’s sort of a speed up. It’s more like a catch-up… maybe. Because I’m generally stable and the spike in symptoms were relatively minimal during a period of anticipatory anxiety and dissipated almost immediately when the thing I was anticipating happened, AND I have held awhile longer than usual, I think I’ll be able to tolerate the ~9% reduction. If it goes well, I might try a similar % reduction next time. I find it nerve wracking!! As I drop lower it’s likely my reductions will be sub-10% and possibly sub-5% to avoid discomfort. I’m hoping I’ll be able to tolerate 10% hyperbolic drops, but I’m not holding my breath. 
 

So nerve wracking!!

I hope you feel so well and stable that you can proceed faster than anticipated! That would be awesome!

 

 

It’s hard when things aren’t consistent. (Eg being able to tolerate a certain size cut and then all of a a sudden it changes and you have to adapt). It means having to be vigilant all the time and never really relaxing. Withdrawing is such a difficult journey.

[Addax]

I dropped to 6mg today. I thought I was taking closer to a 9% reduction, but it’s not even a 5% reduction! I feel silly… but also still anxious about the reduction. Tomorrow I have to perform a stressful work related thing, but figured if I did experience symptoms as a result of this drop that they wouldn’t hit until well afterward.  I am admittedly very nervous about this reduction even after realizing it’s quite small.
 

I tell ya what. Anticipatory anxiety is absolutely my Achilles tendon. It’s nuts how these WD symptoms pop, only for them to abate abruptly the moment there is nothing to anticipate. As in, once I’m doing the thing I was stressing about I feel immediately normal again. Well… WD normal, anyway.  
 

Symptoms that emerge during periods of anticipatory anxiety:

Increased desire to sleep

Waking anxiety surge

shivering/cold for several hours in the morning (I actually use a small heater)

Irritability

Self doubt increases

catastrophizing about things unrelated to the source of my anxiety 

Although uncomfortable, annoying and anxiety provoking in and of themselves, the symptoms have been manageable, and while mildly disruptive, they haven’t interfered with my ability to perform the task or prepare for it.

 

Having to taper and being freaked out by the potential for withdrawal symptoms sucks!

Eli Lily sucks.

A bunch of psychiatrists and primary care physicians also suck. 

 

 

[Aveju]

I hope that the drop to 6 mg is uneventful and you will sail right through!

 

yes-all of those entities suck!!!!

[j1290]

Hey Addax, how's things these days?  How's that drop treating you?  

[Addax]

Hi @j1290!  
Things are pretty much at WD normal right now, which is a relief. However, I am not completely reassured yet. I still find myself holding my breath a bit after every drop, and because of Fluoxetine’s long half-life I’ll probably keep it held a bit longer. At the same time part of me wonders, “hmm, maybe I can speed things up a bit.” - Which I won’t do because when it comes to WD, fear and caution wins out. But the thought is there.
 

 

[Angus]

So glad things are going well Addax!

 

[Addax]

Just finished up my third week at 6mg. It has been a happily uneventful few weeks. Unfortunately, I seem to have been hit by wave Friday. Nothing intense. Just some low level depression like symptoms. Feeling anxious and blue and a little overwhelmed by things that I find tedious but generally not overwhelming.  I also experienced an allergic reaction to something on Thursday and ended up with hives. Are the two things related? I don’t know. The whole gut-brain relationship comes to mind…  The histamine - depression relationship some research purports… Perhaps?  
I dislike Sunday evenings and Mondays. Maybe this low level depression like thing will pass at COB today.

 

For context - I try to use “depression-like” describe symptoms because I tend to believe that in withdrawal what’s going on MIMICS depression or other mood disorders but is not, in actuality, those mood disorders. Dr. Anders Sorensen mentioned this idea in talk he gave and it stuck with me.