Addax: 30 years with Fluoxetine and tapering

[Thorin]

18 hours ago, Addax said:

Whoops! Haha! As far as I know withdrawal has no influence on thongs of either the American or Australian version. 😆

 

I did not know you guys call thongs what we call flip-flops. So what do you call what we hear in the U.S. call thongs?

Haha I hope no thongs have been hurt during this tapering adventure. So you do call them flip flops? I’m assuming what you call a thong is what we call a G-string? If not you’ll get a shock when you Google it 😂.

 

18 hours ago, Addax said:

like my job enough, but don’t necessarily find it meaningful. It can also be a bit isolating. Luckily, the most stressful part is intermittent and not daily or even weekly. The anxiety is part performance anxiety and one part anticipation anxiety. I have to do a lot of preparation for these intermittent “events” and the anticipation anxiety makes it harder to do than it necessarily needs to be… so that stresses me out too 😟😖. The Anticipation definitely causes a spike in some symptoms in the weeks leading up. L

It actually sounds quite stressful. You have adhd don’t you? I know that can make organising things more stressful. And the anticipatory anxiety is real. My partner has adhd and struggles with this stuff. She can find it very hard to get started on something she’s not too keen on doing.

 

18 hours ago, Addax said:

up. Luckily my performance isn’t affected and the symptoms subside pretty quickly after the task is complete.  Oddly, waves don’t typically follow.  It doesn’t seem to make sense given my recent response to having to spend time with a particular individual, which triggered a wave. Although… the emotion attached to the two things is very, very different. So maybe that’s it. In any event, I am casually looking for something else. 

I bet you’ve got the nail on the head. That deeper emotional attachment probably impacts you deeper than the work stress. I know I find people much more……. Stressful? They cause a bigger impact to me….. than work stress. With work I can usually drop the stress when I walk away from the job. Withdrawal makes that much harder.

 

18 hours ago, Addax said:

do have to step back sometimes to appreciate the progress. Years at 60mg, and here I am at 5.9mg, fully functional+. 

Addax this is massive. And if you’re fully functional now, I bet you’re even better when you’re off th last of it. The med can’t be assisting much at that low dose surely?

 

18 hours ago, Addax said:

I wish I could remember how I feel now when the next wave hits. It’s still so nuts to me that I can feel like I do now, have 100% faith that tapering off completely will happen, know, without a doubt, that what I think and how I feel during a wave is irrational and temporary, but the moment a wave hits I lose sight of all of that for about ten days and believe only worse case scenarios that will never (and have never) come true.  Silly, ridiculous withdrawal-brain! 😖.

The loss of insite has to be a withdrawal symptom. I can KNOW in the morning that I’m ruined forever and won’t be able to survive the way I’m feeling and be happy and KNOW that I’ll be ok one day by the time lunch hits. It’s got to be the worse symptom. Making you believe that what you’re experiencing is forever.

 

You’re doing amazing. I’m forever in awe of the way you bounce back every time you get knocked by withdrawal. Every single time you bounce back and continue on your journey. Takes a lot of strength mate.

[Addax]

Tiny drop to 5.8 on Wednesday.  Why so small? The stressful task I was gearing up for; The one I was waiting to be over before I made a drop was rescheduled for the not too distant future. So, in an effort to ensure I’m not symptomatic at the time, I just made a tiny drop.  It also brings me to a number where I just have to use one syringe. In order to get .3, .5, etc., I have to use a second syringe to measure out the .1mg. 
my next drop will be to 5.6mg… so again, no need for a second syringe. 
 

I realize the having to measure out the extra .1mg is really no big deal, but it’s tedious and an irksome thing for me for whatever reason.  When I get to 5mg maybe I can find a syringe with tics at .1 rather than .2. 

Pretty much symptom free aside from some PMS crankiness, and fatigue earlier in the week.  Luckily, that seems to have passed. 
 

Thankful for stability and glad to have little to report out on.

 

I miss being able to have a glass of wine. I haven’t had a negative experience, but after a few rough waves and knowing there is potential for it to trigger symptoms, I just don’t want to risk it. (((Sigh))).

[Angus]

@AddaxWay to go on another reduction! I view every taper as a huge success no matter the amount:).

 

Can I ask you what percentages are your drops? I know everyone is individual but I was just wondering. Also, if you find a syringe with .1 ticks, will you share it? I can only find one with .2 ticks. How long do you keep your undiluted flux? I know you only do a wks worth of the diluted flux. Do you put the diluted flux in the frig? I am not at the point of starting to taper but I like to think about starting and planning… Sorry about all the questions! I am so thankful to be able to observe and learn from you.

 

I’m cheering you on! Keep it up:)

Angus

[Addax]

@Angus

My last few reductions have been between 1.5 and 2% every 4-6 weeks. Exceedingly small and with long holds. I have had to preform some high stress work related tasks since the spring. Unfortunately, because of the scheduling I haven’t had long enough between them that I’d be comfortable knowing that if a wave did occur I’d have time to recover. I just can’t risk feeling unwell during the tasks or preparing for them. I know that sounds cryptic, but it’s kind of the best I can do without saying what I do.  So my drops have been deliberately tiny to avoid risking compromising my ability do my work. I suspect that I could tolerate larger reductions, and after mid January, I’ll be in the clear to try, but in the meantime, I am HIGHLY risk adverse. 

 

1cc/ml syringes have .1 and small tics, which is why I use it as the second syringe, but I will let you know if I find another.
 

I keep the undiluted fluoxetine in its original container longer than advised by the inserts. But not much. And I don’t refrigerate it.  

I don’t refrigerate the diluted fluoxetine. It’s divided into seven tubes (with lids) that I keep in a coffee cup next to my sink. I consume one a day.  They are not exposed to direct light, but not in total darkness either.

 

It’s always good to start planning and see what other people do that works for them. When you’re ready, you will figure out what works, and what your tolerance is, and what’s comfortable.

 

Thank you for the cheers! I appreciate them immensely ❤️

[Addax]

Without question, taking fluoxetine for most of the last three decades has left me sensitive to reductions so even with my small reductions I anticipate the emergence of a symptom or two, even if minor. I was tired for a day with some subtle blue thoughts… but who knows whether that was withdrawal related, Perimenopause related, or just a normal fluctuation. 

 

I do intend to do a 5% drop after a work thing I have to do in January. I’m a little nervous about the idea because my drops have been so small and I still experience some relative short lived cognitive and emotional symptom waves.  I just hate them so much! So much! Maybe radical acceptance that my taper to zero is just going to be very long, is a better idea. 
 

Ugh!!
 

 

[Angus]

@Addax Thank you so much for all the helpful insight! You mentioned you were highly risk adverse- I am feeling that way too. -But watching you navigate this gives me more hope/strength. 🌸🌸 

I know with each safe, deliberate drop you are getting closer and closer to your end goal!

Angus

[Addax]

New year, still tapering.

Last cut was another very small one. So slow going but generally symptom free aside from some fatigue, which may or may not be related to tapering. 
 

After next week I should be in the clear for awhile to experiment with a larger cut. Not huge, but at least 5%. 
 

I wanted to go from 5.8 to 5.6 last time, but I didn’t want to risk having symptoms emerge while on vacation, so I went to 5.7. Since it’s been a symptom free period I’m going to try a 5% cut, which will take me to 5.4mg. 
 

Nutty to me that I’m so close to 5mg.  I recently told a psychiatrist I know that I was taking 5.7mg of Fluoxetine and he responded with, “does that even do anything for you?” I didn’t get into the tapering and withdrawal thing or that I’d been prescribed it for an eating disorder and not a mood disorder. I just told him that it does what I need it to.

[Addax]

Just a quick note for my records... 

Difficulty concentrating and low mood for several days and some pretty bad fatigue. I have a stressful work related thing I have to do tomorrow. I hope that's the reason and I'll be back on track when it's completed. 

Also, two weeks ago I missed a day of meds. Completely forgot to take them and my vitamins... Wondering if the missed dose has anything to do with how I've been feeling. I was hoping Fluoxetine's long half-life would serve as a protective factor but who knows at this low dose. 

[littlebird]

1 hour ago, Addax said:

Difficulty concentrating and low mood for several days and some pretty bad fatigue. I have a stressful work related thing I have to do tomorrow. I hope that's the reason and I'll be back on track when it's completed.

Work stress hits different when tapering! Hoo baby is it an emotional rollercoaster ride. Here's hoping you feel better when the stress in rearview!

[Thorin]

9 hours ago, Addax said:

Just a quick note for my records... 

Difficulty concentrating and low mood for several days and some pretty bad fatigue. I have a stressful work related thing I have to do tomorrow. I hope that's the reason and I'll be back on track when it's completed. 

Also, two weeks ago I missed a day of meds. Completely forgot to take them and my vitamins... Wondering if the missed dose has anything to do with how I've been feeling. I was hoping Fluoxetine's long half-life would serve as a protective factor but who knows at this low dose. 

Hey Addax,

 

your trigger is very predictable these days! These bigger work events seem to trigger a bit of a wave for you. I wonder if it’s something that will pass as you heal from the med and aren’t so sensitised? It must make the job harder! I hope you feel better soon.

[Addax]

On 1/9/2024 at 4:55 PM, littlebird said:

Work stress hits different when tapering! Hoo baby is it an emotional rollercoaster ride.

Indeed! As soon as I was engaged in what I was doing it all melted away and now that it’s over I seem to be back at WD baseline.  I like rollercoasters… but hate these kinds.

 

 

[Addax]

18 hours ago, Thorin said:

Hey Addax,

 

your trigger is very predictable these days! These bigger work events seem to trigger a bit of a wave for you. I wonder if it’s something that will pass as you heal from the med and aren’t so sensitised? It must make the job harder! I hope you feel better soon.

Hi Thorin! Thank you. 

It is predictable, which should be reassuring, but as we experience with withdrawal, trusting that it’s the predictable thing and not something really bad that will never end doesn’t come easily. It seems to have passed now that the thing is over. I feel like I’m back at WD normal, just very drained. Very tired. And angry at having to taper and all the bs that goes along with withdrawal. 

 

I think it will pass, but I might be retired by then considering how slow I’m tapering at the moment 😀.  It makes it harder, for sure. The fatigue and difficulty focusing that accompanies the anxiety make preparing/studying very difficult. It becomes an anxiety loop. I’m anxious… then the fatigue and difficulty focusing hit hard, then the fact I’m tired and can’t focus well stresses me out more and interferes with my ability to prepare even more, my motivation plummets … and on like that. 

 

 

[Thorin]

1 hour ago, Addax said:

20 hours ago, Thorin said:

soon.

Hi Thorin! Thank you. 

It is predictable, which should be reassuring, but as we experience with withdrawal, trusting that it’s the predictable thing and not something really bad that will never end doesn’t come easily. It seems to have passed now that the thing is over. I feel like I’m back at WD normal, just very drained. Very tired. And angry at having to taper and all the bs that goes along with withdrawal. 

I get it. Despite the predictability of it I still get scared when the symptoms get much. Or even when they’re just present and not too much…. The whole thing is scary! Not being in control of your feelings, mind, cognition etc. Same as you I’m furious as having been out in this position. On occasion I have indulged thoughts of force feeding benzos to the Dr that put me on them and then cutting him off abruptly. Not nice, but a thought I’ve had. And being drained and exhausted like that just makes everything more difficult!

 

1 hour ago, Addax said:

think it will pass, but I might be retired by then considering how slow I’m tapering at the moment 😀.  It makes it harder, for sure. The fatigue and difficulty focusing that accompanies the anxiety make preparing/studying very difficult. It becomes an anxiety loop. I’m anxious… then the fatigue and difficulty focusing hit hard, then the fact I’m tired and can’t focus well stresses me out more and interferes with my ability to prepare even more, my motivation plummets … and on like that.

I totally get the anxiety loop! I’ve been working on breaking it. Getting up and going for a run, stopping work and doing some meditation or breathwork. A good book for anxiety DARE by Barry McDonagh. Or the podcast, The Anxious Truth with Drew Linsalata. They’re both based on Claire Weeks.

Do other things trigger WD for you or just work?

 

Also, can you say what ‘Addax’ is from? I’ve wondered but never asked why you chose that name.

[Addax]

21 hours ago, Thorin said:

The whole thing is scary! Not being in control of your feelings, mind, cognition etc.

I hate it. While I know some situations will trigger waves, some things come up that I don’t expect to knock me on my ass. Today is a good example. Got some professionally disappointing news today. It has knocked me on my ass and into a pretty intense depressive wave. 

 

21 hours ago, Thorin said:

On occasion I have indulged thoughts of force feeding benzos to the Dr that put me on them and then cutting him off abruptly. Not nice, but a thought I’ve had.

I get it! 

 

21 hours ago, Thorin said:

Do other things trigger WD for you or just work?

People. Not all people. There are two people in my life who are triggering for me. Only one of who I have to interact with. Just the anticipation of seeing them triggers anger, I become very irritable toward my husband, and then a wave hits. It can be short lived, but it’s miserable.  It can be triggering even knowing my husband will be hanging out with them… I don’t even have to be there! Unfortunately, it’s not someone I can cut out of our lives. So maybe anger is the other sure fire trigger. Luckily, anger isn’t something I experience often. In fact, when I do it’s often related to the person I was just referencing. 

 

21 hours ago, Thorin said:

Also, can you say what ‘Addax’ is from? I’ve wondered but never asked why you chose that name.

My brain! It’s a mash-up of the pseudonym I was using when I started with SA.  Not so exciting. I like that question! The root of some names is easy to decipher… but some not so much. 

 

What about yours? Why did you choose Thorin?

 

[Thorin]

On 1/12/2024 at 11:26 AM, Addax said:

hate it. While I know some situations will trigger waves, some things come up that I don’t expect to knock me on my ass. Today is a good example. Got some professionally disappointing news today. It has knocked me on my ass and into a pretty intense depressive wave. 

Oh man I’m sorry to hear that. I hope you’re practising lots of self care to help you get through this period. I find that in withdrawal things can rock me to the core and when I’m not in withdrawal (a few months ago) the same thing doesn’t hit me anywhere near as hard. I believe things will get easier for you in time. Not sure how much time though….

 

On 1/12/2024 at 11:26 AM, Addax said:

People. Not all people. There are two people in my life who are triggering for me. Only one of who I have to interact with. Just the anticipation of seeing them triggers anger, I become very irritable toward my husband, and then a wave hits. It can be short lived, but it’s miserable.  It can be triggering even knowing my husband will be hanging out with them… I don’t even have to be there! Unfortunately, it’s not someone I can cut out of our lives. So maybe anger is the other sure fire trigger. Luckily, anger isn’t something I experience often. In fact, when I do it’s often related to the person I was just referencing.

I totally get this. I cut my father off last year. He lives about 8 hours drive away so maybe a little easier for me than you if your husband still hangs around the person you struggle with…..

 

On 1/12/2024 at 11:26 AM, Addax said:

My brain! It’s a mash-up of the pseudonym I was using when I started with SA.  Not so exciting. I like that question! The root of some names is easy to decipher… but some not so much. 

 

What about yours? Why did you choose Thorin?

I like these sort of questions too! I’ll message you about my name.

[Addax]

This wave hasn’t let up yet. Suuuuucks! This one has been chock full of anxiety, anxiety shivers, intense anxious and depressing thoughts and zero motivation to do anything but binge TV shows. I think I’m at the tail end because I’m feeling less anxious and depressed but now physically exhausted from the rise in cortisol, the shivers and physical tension in general. I don’t want to get my hopes up because when I’m experiencing a wave I tend to feel better as the day goes on and into the evening, only to have the amped back up in the morning. However, slightly less intense each successive day.  
 

I took the day off from work, which for me is indicative of a bad wave. That said, I could have worked. I wasn’t incapacitated by this stupid wave. I just didn’t want to… at all! I haven’t wanted to do much for the last week.
 

The triggers? In quick succession: stressful work related task and preparation, big work related disappointment, then having to anticipate and spend time with an individual who angers me and I don’t like  (it’s not avoidable, but luckily, not frequent). Each of those things would cause a brief wave on their own. Together, in quick succession with less than 24 hrs between each- They knocked me on my ass, hard. In all honesty, this has been the worst wave I’ve had this time around. 
 

fingers crossed it’s over by Friday.

 

 

[Addax]

I did not, in fact feel much better this morning and called into work. I am slightly better, but not much. Or it just feels like a different kind of yuck. I’m not incapacitated, and I would probably feel better if I went into the office. I just don’t feel like interacting with people or making an important decision I’m supposed to make… I’m avoiding and anticipating change and THAT is no doubt further contributing to my current state.  In fact, something tells me that the sooner I commit to and communicate my decision the sooner I’ll feel better. Avoidance is a horrible reinforcing loop. I know that, yet here I am doing it. 
 

I’m telling myself it’s okay to rest… I’m not hearing it yet, but I’ll keep saying it until tomorrow when I’ll no longer have the luxury to call in sick without consequences (I.e., pile up of work and having to reschedule meetings).
 

Looking back, it’s been a not so smooth few months. Emotionally anyway. It doesn’t seem like it’s been bad, but rereading some of my posts and thinking about my dissatisfaction at work, and that I have been more tired, and some other things has me wondering if it’s not time to hold for a good long time. I had planned to do that during a previous wave, but once it subsided and I was feeling well, I kicked the idea to the curb. Granted, my reductions have been tiny, but I’ve also been on this med for 35 years at this point, so my body isn’t going to let it go without a fight, right? 
 

 

[Addax]

I felt better by yesterday! Uuuuuhh! I hate waves, but I hated this wave more than any others since I started this taper. Awful! Awful! The more I thought about it, the more I believe the biggest contributor was the missed dose a few weeks ago. Given the delay in symptom onset with fluoxetine, it seems about right. The intensity of the fatigue just makes it seem more likely.
 

Not that the other things didn’t contribute. They absolutely did. But I bet the missed dose set me up to be more vulnerable. 
 

I still have a decision to make, so I’m still stressed and feeling “meh” but the worst is over.  The professional decision I have to make may trigger some more crap, because I don’t like the choices. They equal out in prs and cons… so weighing those things don’t help.  I will propose a third option. It doesn’t fix the choices but makes one more palatable.  Change sucks.

[Addax]

… and several steps backwards beginning yesterday. The negative thought loops and depressed feeling have been pretty rough, among other things. I don’t know how accurately I am perceiving things given the cloud of depression and the negative spin I’m putting on everything, so it’s difficult to make decisions because I don’t trust the accuracy of my perception of the options. This includes the important one I’m tasked with making right now. 
 

I hate this so much. Grr…

 

[Addax]

Still in a wave. Made the decision because I had to. Not inspired because it was choosing between two “meh” options. The upside is that the option to revert to the other option is on the table for a bit. Had that not been on the table, my choice would’ve been different.  I was already vulnerable to waves, but the last 2.5 weeks have left me messy, tired, and blue, and disheartened.  I’m hoping that as work related things stabilize that I will too. Im left angry and distrustful about work and want to move on, but opportunities are limited. And the grass is rarely greener. 
 

I am trying to push myself to feel better. Another glitch - I just realized the new bottle of liquid fluoxetine is from a different manufacturer. This sucks! I’m going to head to the pharmacy today to see if they carry the other. 
 

I’m still toying with bumping up to 6mg and staying there for several months. I don’t want to lose the last 6 months, but I can’t stand how I have been feeling. However, it’s likely very much situational, right?  Or is it? 
 

 

 

 

 

[j1290]

On 1/22/2024 at 3:45 AM, Addax said:

I don’t know how accurately I am perceiving things given the cloud of depression and the negative spin I’m putting on everything, so it’s difficult to make decisions because I don’t trust the accuracy of my perception of the options. This includes the important one I’m tasked with making right now. 

I can relate to this so much.   When I get in that cloudy/spiraling/tapering headspace I really don't trust my own judgment.   

 

I reinstated to my last stable dose/time release/manufacturer(back to square 1) after 6 months of holding because I wasn't feeling stable.   I only wish I'd done it after maybe 8 weeks tops instead of waiting so long.  I didn't feel 100% better when I reinstated, but enough that I was able to formulate a new, successful approach.  

 

On 1/28/2024 at 6:59 AM, Addax said:

I’m still toying with bumping up to 6mg and staying there for several months. I don’t want to lose the last 6 months, but I can’t stand how I have been feeling. However, it’s likely very much situational, right?  Or is it? 

As I read your signature, it sounds like you've been holding for 3 months.  Is that situational, or is your current baseline intolerable?  

 

I'm really sorry to hear you're going through all this, Addax.  Tapering sucks and so does finding our path down this mountain.   That said, I think it's worth the journey.   

[Addax]

Hi @j1290! 
It was cool to come here and see your post.

 

I think I’m feeling slightly better each day, but I’m giving it one more week. If I’m still in this funk I’ll bump up to 5.8mg. I’ve reduced twice since October. Tiny reductions of .1mg five weeks apart. I forgot to put it in my signature. I was being very cautious and conservative in anticipation of stressors in my professional life. The stress over the last few weeks was not anticipated and extra stressful. Plus the missed dose, the effects of which were delayed due to fluoxetine’s long half-life, and norfluoxetine’s even longer one.  Bad timing all around. 
 

Tapering does suck! So much.  Intellectually I know it’s worth it, but during this current funk I’ve had a moment or two where I thought “Fk it! I’ll go back to 10mg and just stay there forever.” (10mg is the lowest commercially available dose). 
 

 

[Addax]

Some slight improvement over the week, but I’m just not willing to wait this out at 5.7. Even if it’s situational and will pass as things in my external world calm down, it’s just more uncomfortable that I want to deal with. So I’m titrating up from 5.7mg to 5.8.  Small increase but hoping it will make a difference. I will do my best to will myself to hold for a couple months regardless of how good I feel. 
 

it sucks to titrate up. It feels like a step backwards and is a bit scary in terms of the question, “will I actually be able to ween off completely after 35 years on this stuff?” My gut says yes. I mean, I got to 6mg from 60. Some bumps for sure but it wasn’t until dropping below 5.9 that it felt like bouncing back wasn’t happening like before. 
 

I will update my signature later.

[Angus]

@Addax You are doing such a great job of listening to your body! Don’t worry about the tiny updose- you’ve made such incredible progress and will continue to move towards your final goal:). I know you’re going to get there!

[Thorin]

12 hours ago, Addax said:

Some slight improvement over the week, but I’m just not willing to wait this out at 5.7. Even if it’s situational and will pass as things in my external world calm down, it’s just more uncomfortable that I want to deal with. So I’m titrating up from 5.7mg to 5.8.  Small increase but hoping it will make a difference. I will do my best to will myself to hold for a couple months regardless of how good I feel. 
 

it sucks to titrate up. It feels like a step backwards and is a bit scary in terms of the question, “will I actually be able to ween off completely after 35 years on this stuff?” My gut says yes. I mean, I got to 6mg from 60. Some bumps for sure but it wasn’t until dropping below 5.9 that it felt like bouncing back wasn’t happening like before. 
 

I will update my signature later.

Hey Addax,

 

sounds like you’re going through a tough time at the moment. I’m sorry to hear that mate. It sucks to updose but you know your body and know best what you need to do to get through.

I have no doubt you can get off this stuff. It’s just a matter of time. I’ve seen other people on here be stuck and unable to taper at all then start a really slow taper and find they can move forward, and I don’t think you’re at the point where you’re stuck. It’s just a tough patch.

You’ll know in yourself when your body is ready to taper. You’ve got this 🙏🏻.

And even though I’m quiet on the site these days I’m always here to chat if you need. You can always message me if you just need to offload or talk something out. 

[Addax]

28 minutes ago, Thorin said:

It’s just a tough patch.

Thats what I keep telling myself. It’s helpful to hear it from someone else, too.

 

29 minutes ago, Thorin said:

And even though I’m quiet on the site these days I’m always here to chat if you need. You can always message me if you just need to offload or talk something out. 

I’ve been as well. Other than updating my “journal” here. I want to keep a record, and this thread is that.
 

And I say the same to you… I’m not poking around or visiting threads much these days, but I’m just a DM away. 🙂 

[littlebird]

On 2/2/2024 at 6:31 AM, Addax said:

My gut says yes.

I agree with your gut! You're gonna win.

[Patient2022]

On 2/2/2024 at 12:31 PM, Addax said:

Some slight improvement over the week, but I’m just not willing to wait this out at 5.7. Even if it’s situational and will pass as things in my external world calm down, it’s just more uncomfortable that I want to deal with. So I’m titrating up from 5.7mg to 5.8.  Small increase but hoping it will make a difference. I will do my best to will myself to hold for a couple months regardless of how good I feel. 
 

it sucks to titrate up. It feels like a step backwards and is a bit scary in terms of the question, “will I actually be able to ween off completely after 35 years on this stuff?” My gut says yes. I mean, I got to 6mg from 60. Some bumps for sure but it wasn’t until dropping below 5.9 that it felt like bouncing back wasn’t happening like before. 
 

I will update my signature later.

You definitely will get there! Like you said you’ve gone from 60mg to 6mg so

going up a tiny bit to ease the taper is still in the right direction. 
 

The waves and the things that real life throws at us can make it hard. One day at a time and some healthy ways to cope.

[Addax]

Some slight improvement. While the triggers I mentioned earlier are relevant, it’s nearly impossible to tell whether recent change in professional duties and the growing dissatisfaction in the new role are either making it more difficult to bounce back or the wave is contributing to my thoughts and feelings about the new role. 
 

the most prominent symptoms are fatigue, weird head pressure and concentration issues. 
 

I keep thinking, “WTAF?!” 

[Addax]

Ended up titrating up to 6mg. So 0.3mg in total. Such a relatively small amount but it feels bigger. 
 

Even though I had noticed some relief with the increase of 0.1, when I looked back at my thread and other offline notes I’d jotted down, I realized I’d been mostly blue since dropping below 6mg. Could I have pushed through? Sure. Except for some very low days, a few weeks ago I was functioning. However, I decided I didn’t want to keep feeling how I was feeling and knowing work related  stress will remain amped up for awhile, it just didn’t feel like a time or worth it to “push through.” So I returned to the dose that I last felt okay on.  
 

No regrets. I feel better. Mornings still kind of suck but are getting better, but overall I’m just… better.  Crazy how such a tiny amount, just 0.3mg has such a significant impact. I’ll stick it out here for a while. Even if I’m feeling fantastic in a month.  Just going to catch my breath before moving forward again. 

[Angus]

@Addax- I’m glad you are feeling better🌸. I know you’ll know when it’s time to cut again. You are so good at listening to yourself. Sending you encouragement your way!

Angus

[j1290]

On 2/15/2024 at 5:04 PM, Addax said:

it just didn’t feel like a time or worth it to “push through.” So I returned to the dose that I last felt okay on.  

This sounds like a brilliant approach to me, and I think being flexible is one key to getting to the bottom of the mountain as smoothly as we can 😄  

 

On 2/15/2024 at 5:04 PM, Addax said:

Crazy how such a tiny amount, just 0.3mg has such a significant impact.

I bet!  When I tapered Effexor I couldn't believe how one tiny bead could throw me for a loop like it did.  

 

On 2/15/2024 at 5:04 PM, Addax said:

I feel better. Mornings still kind of suck but are getting better, but overall I’m just… better.

Glad to hear it.  Sounds like you really made the right move.  

[Thorin]

On 2/16/2024 at 12:04 PM, Addax said:

Ended up titrating up to 6mg. So 0.3mg in total. Such a relatively small amount but it feels bigger. 

The smallest changes can have big impacts at these low doses I’m finding as well.

 

On 2/16/2024 at 12:04 PM, Addax said:

Even though I had noticed some relief with the increase of 0.1, when I looked back at my thread and other offline notes I’d jotted down, I realized I’d been mostly blue since dropping below 6mg. Could I have pushed through? Sure. Except for some very low days, a few weeks ago I was functioning. However, I decided I didn’t want to keep feeling how I was feeling and knowing work related  stress will remain amped up for awhile, it just didn’t feel like a time or worth it to “push through.” So I returned to the dose that I last felt okay on.  

Seems logical and you know your body and mind better than anyone. You know what you need to do to get through. Calmer times will come and if you’re feeling up to it you could start tapering again then.

 

On 2/16/2024 at 12:04 PM, Addax said:

No regrets. I feel better. Mornings still kind of suck but are getting better, but overall I’m just… better.  Crazy how such a tiny amount, just 0.3mg has such a significant impact. I’ll stick it out here for a while. Even if I’m feeling fantastic in a month.  Just going to catch my breath before moving forward again. 

Mornings are the worst. They’re absolutely kicking my butt so I can relate well to what you’re going through. I hope symptoms settle down quickly with the updose and you get some relief Addax.

[Addax]

Almost at WD normal. The “almost” being because the first hour of my morning, starting the moment I wake up, still sucks a little, and my response to stressors is still a bit exaggerated.  
 

A large part of the problem, is that I recently changed jobs and have found that I don’t like the new gig and a couple of the people I now have to work closely with stress me right out.  I have had my share of hi stress and/or intense jobs, but this one is unnecessarily chaotic and inefficient which makes it unnecessarily stressful and exhausting.  So obviously not a great situation for someone tapering and having been hit with a particularly hard wave. 
 

I’m going to stick with it for a bit longer to see if things change. 

 

 

Edited February 29 by Addax

[Addax]

Still at 6mg. Still ebbing a flowing in terms of settling at WD normal. I was expecting to be there by now, but today is starting off in a low place. This morning I’m feeling lower than I have in a couple weeks. In general, I’ve been blue for a while. Overall feeling of “meh.”  I’m not sure what to do. A big part of me wants to hang at 6mg and push through. However, another part of me is tired of feeling blue and having waking anxiety and wants to forget about tapering, bump to commercially available 10mg, and accept that’s where I will sit for a very long time.  Sounds like I’ve been hit by another wave, doesn’t it? Like a wave within a wave. These ***** waves!!  The stress has also exacerbated eczema, something that emerged after my first withdrawal episode nearly 12 years ago. 
 

I suspect a big part of this is my dissatisfaction with my new role at work and the stress associated both with disliking the role and the job itself.  

 

[Thorin]

Hi Addax, sorry you’re in another wave. I wonder whether some symptoms are unavoidable at these lowered doses and whether reinstatement means you’ll just have to do all the work again to get back to this point only to find that it just gets a bit wobbly at these lower doses. I hope things even out for you which I’m sure they will eventually if you hold your dose.