ikam Posted October 11, 2016 Author Share Posted October 11, 2016 Ikam, there is so much you are doing that is working. You are heading in the right direction! Slow, yeah, but you are getting there. And with each slide your brain has that much less drug to cope with - imagine it thanking you . One day you'll be free of it all. Thank you Karen. I got a bit low over the weekend. Last week was somehow more difficult...I was in a lot of physical pain + I had some additional WD symptoms (head pressure, headache) that were most likely triggered by a different type of magnesium...I still sweat a lot, but it may be to do with menopause and I don't want to increase HRT... I am beginning to settle down, but still sad that I put myself under these problems...It is only me to blame...but I "needed" to reach a rock bottom to realise the damage... I was completely drug free and restarted, slowly building into dramatic relapse...So now I am on such a cocktail of meds... Up to DEcember 2014 (my awakening) I was also taking Triptans for migraines, Codeine, sleeping pills, Xanax and any other pills that I assumed could work (e.g. antihistamine)...I don't take them...But I still do take Paracetamol as my sciatica is sometimes really bad...I don't have money for Physio... - 12.03.2021- doxepin- 50mg - 6.11.2020- 75mg - 16.10.2020- 100mg - 30.09.2020- doxepin- 125mg - May 2020, omeprazole 40mg switched to esomeprazole 20mg - 2012 re-started Doxepin 75mg, evening. Increased to 150mg - 2012, Atenolol 25mg, twice a day - 2016, Low dose of HRT in evening, Sandrena and Utrogestan - Long term of Nasal spray Otrivine - 2012, PPI Omeprazole 40mg-evening 24.10.2014- Started ESCITALOPRAM-first 5mg and then 10mg; due to the adverse symptoms reduced on 5.01.2015- Escitalopram- 2.5mg 22.07.2016- re-started reduction by 1% at a time. Completed tappering on 19.03.2020 😇 Link to comment
ikam Posted October 12, 2016 Author Share Posted October 12, 2016 it all depends if there is any additional stress... like today, more headache again...somehow hot... but my work envirnoment has become more challenging, more people in one room... - 12.03.2021- doxepin- 50mg - 6.11.2020- 75mg - 16.10.2020- 100mg - 30.09.2020- doxepin- 125mg - May 2020, omeprazole 40mg switched to esomeprazole 20mg - 2012 re-started Doxepin 75mg, evening. Increased to 150mg - 2012, Atenolol 25mg, twice a day - 2016, Low dose of HRT in evening, Sandrena and Utrogestan - Long term of Nasal spray Otrivine - 2012, PPI Omeprazole 40mg-evening 24.10.2014- Started ESCITALOPRAM-first 5mg and then 10mg; due to the adverse symptoms reduced on 5.01.2015- Escitalopram- 2.5mg 22.07.2016- re-started reduction by 1% at a time. Completed tappering on 19.03.2020 😇 Link to comment
AliG Posted October 12, 2016 Share Posted October 12, 2016 Hi Ikam. Temperature fluctuations are normal in withdrawal. I have experienced this also and it drives my husband nuts as I'm always changing the air conditioner and/ or heater settings frequently, not to mention the " doona/ duvet/ comforter " drama. Please don't beat yourself up. We all fell down the " rabbit hole" of psych medications and many of us have regrets. You are not alone. However, it has lead us here and now we have the opportunity to turn this around. I love this quote by Maya Angelou : " Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better". You're doing great. Keep it up. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
ikam Posted October 15, 2016 Author Share Posted October 15, 2016 Thank you. I have been quite low, but this relates to job-stress. We have two new people and not enough computers! This has impacted on me feeling quite insecure, in terms of people talking, constant change of people in the room, etc. When I tried to raise this, I was told that I should be happy with this what I have as I may lose it if I ask for solution (another computer)....so next day I was angry and told them what I think that this is stupid that we have to fight for computers and that this causes me extra stress. It appears that it is only me who feel uncomfortable with this situation... It gets me back to my family of origins, where everybody was telling me that I had an "ideal family", and what I saw was my father drinking, beating me badly, my mother being neglectful, etc. So when I hear that "everything is ideal at my work" I am back with my family again... So, I feel very low and I don't know how to solve it...My manager said "what is a problem, not all of you are at the same time in the room..."...(alluding to so called "hot desk solution")... Another family reminiscence= I am all on my own again...As they all use statements: "this is the way we work", "you have to put up with this", "don't talk about this as our mangers are stressed out enough", .............concluding that it is me who is a problem as I respond emotionally (with wrong emotions, as I should not get angry) and they all stay "cool" and put up with this nuisance... - 12.03.2021- doxepin- 50mg - 6.11.2020- 75mg - 16.10.2020- 100mg - 30.09.2020- doxepin- 125mg - May 2020, omeprazole 40mg switched to esomeprazole 20mg - 2012 re-started Doxepin 75mg, evening. Increased to 150mg - 2012, Atenolol 25mg, twice a day - 2016, Low dose of HRT in evening, Sandrena and Utrogestan - Long term of Nasal spray Otrivine - 2012, PPI Omeprazole 40mg-evening 24.10.2014- Started ESCITALOPRAM-first 5mg and then 10mg; due to the adverse symptoms reduced on 5.01.2015- Escitalopram- 2.5mg 22.07.2016- re-started reduction by 1% at a time. Completed tappering on 19.03.2020 😇 Link to comment
ikam Posted October 15, 2016 Author Share Posted October 15, 2016 My emotions and neuro-emotions Since I remember my emotions have been particularly strong; not just my emotions, but general sensitivity to the world, including noises, sense of smell, responding to chemicals in food etc. I would consider myself as a child/person characterised by Dabrowski's five over-excitabilities https://www.verywell.com/dabrowskis-overexcitabilities-in-gifted-children-1449118 Concept that he developed alongside his Positive Disintegration Theory https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Positive_disintegration The way I see my drug use at present relates to ME TRYING TO CONFORM to expectations, firstly to my mother (she did not know what to do with my emotions) and then to the world (e.g. trying to be "cool", "cope with this", "get over this" etc. etc)... Now, when I have been tapering my natural emotional responses a back. It is difficult for me to judge how much they are disregulated (if they are?) because of medsw and how much because of chroninc ptsd and how much (actually) I respond naturally to things other people (the world) got desensitised to e.g. "blocking it out"; I asked a person what happens to the emotions that are blocked out, but they don't know as they do not feel it! I think: surely the "blocked out" emotions do not disappear, they are only not felt...they go to the body and remain there until they erupt in for example psychosomatic illness... So, I tried to meet the expectations, and because I was unable to "block my emotions" and used medication to achieve this... I also killed my creativity... But at present, I am unsure as my emotions are back, I do respond to the world and they do not like it...So I have problem, as I am not "adapted" to this world, but to my own internal values... I am not good in hiding what I feel, when I am angry I am angry, when happy I act happy...And people expect me to be an "emotionally composed adult".... It is so difficult when 10 people say that they "feel nothing" and "I feel strongly" to remain positive about myself...I lose my confidence, start questioning my responses...try to stop emotions from expressing themselves... Then hide in my house and feel terribly lonely, but not wanting to meet anybody... Back in my family home, my family was considered as a "model family" to the outside world...I knew it was not like this...but everybody was trying to convince me...then, as I was "acting out", I was considered as a problematic child...but it was me who had a problem! Similarly now, at work, I am considered as a problem... - 12.03.2021- doxepin- 50mg - 6.11.2020- 75mg - 16.10.2020- 100mg - 30.09.2020- doxepin- 125mg - May 2020, omeprazole 40mg switched to esomeprazole 20mg - 2012 re-started Doxepin 75mg, evening. Increased to 150mg - 2012, Atenolol 25mg, twice a day - 2016, Low dose of HRT in evening, Sandrena and Utrogestan - Long term of Nasal spray Otrivine - 2012, PPI Omeprazole 40mg-evening 24.10.2014- Started ESCITALOPRAM-first 5mg and then 10mg; due to the adverse symptoms reduced on 5.01.2015- Escitalopram- 2.5mg 22.07.2016- re-started reduction by 1% at a time. Completed tappering on 19.03.2020 😇 Link to comment
ikam Posted October 18, 2016 Author Share Posted October 18, 2016 stress definitely changes my wd symptoms, I get headaches and kind of feeling of pressure in my head... - 12.03.2021- doxepin- 50mg - 6.11.2020- 75mg - 16.10.2020- 100mg - 30.09.2020- doxepin- 125mg - May 2020, omeprazole 40mg switched to esomeprazole 20mg - 2012 re-started Doxepin 75mg, evening. Increased to 150mg - 2012, Atenolol 25mg, twice a day - 2016, Low dose of HRT in evening, Sandrena and Utrogestan - Long term of Nasal spray Otrivine - 2012, PPI Omeprazole 40mg-evening 24.10.2014- Started ESCITALOPRAM-first 5mg and then 10mg; due to the adverse symptoms reduced on 5.01.2015- Escitalopram- 2.5mg 22.07.2016- re-started reduction by 1% at a time. Completed tappering on 19.03.2020 😇 Link to comment
ikam Posted October 20, 2016 Author Share Posted October 20, 2016 how to recognise if "having a cold" = having a cold, and not wd? I am feeling awful, but there are many people spreading viruses around... - 12.03.2021- doxepin- 50mg - 6.11.2020- 75mg - 16.10.2020- 100mg - 30.09.2020- doxepin- 125mg - May 2020, omeprazole 40mg switched to esomeprazole 20mg - 2012 re-started Doxepin 75mg, evening. Increased to 150mg - 2012, Atenolol 25mg, twice a day - 2016, Low dose of HRT in evening, Sandrena and Utrogestan - Long term of Nasal spray Otrivine - 2012, PPI Omeprazole 40mg-evening 24.10.2014- Started ESCITALOPRAM-first 5mg and then 10mg; due to the adverse symptoms reduced on 5.01.2015- Escitalopram- 2.5mg 22.07.2016- re-started reduction by 1% at a time. Completed tappering on 19.03.2020 😇 Link to comment
ikam Posted October 20, 2016 Author Share Posted October 20, 2016 I have been holding since 4th October and I am considering my next tapper on Tuesday. I know that the way to do it is to get my present dose as 100% and make reductions from this... I have been thinking to carry on with 2.5mg = 100% until i get to half of it (1.25mg) and then take 1.25mg = 100%... This is because I may get lost in adding water to make 100% then decreasing, then adding more water and treat this as starting point...i am either lost in this calculations or this is really complicated? So reducing by "x" from 2.5mg sounds simpler for me Then reducing by "x" from 1.25mg... I feel so under the weather, seems like having a cold... - 12.03.2021- doxepin- 50mg - 6.11.2020- 75mg - 16.10.2020- 100mg - 30.09.2020- doxepin- 125mg - May 2020, omeprazole 40mg switched to esomeprazole 20mg - 2012 re-started Doxepin 75mg, evening. Increased to 150mg - 2012, Atenolol 25mg, twice a day - 2016, Low dose of HRT in evening, Sandrena and Utrogestan - Long term of Nasal spray Otrivine - 2012, PPI Omeprazole 40mg-evening 24.10.2014- Started ESCITALOPRAM-first 5mg and then 10mg; due to the adverse symptoms reduced on 5.01.2015- Escitalopram- 2.5mg 22.07.2016- re-started reduction by 1% at a time. Completed tappering on 19.03.2020 😇 Link to comment
ikam Posted October 22, 2016 Author Share Posted October 22, 2016 going down hill really fast...did not go to work last two days...if i could i would stop working...if i could i would prefer to die...tired of it all...all personal dynamics, family dynamics, severe loneliness...but i dont want to see people anyway...i am too sensitive, i have always been, even before ad, so i dont know if i have wd, side-effects or this is just my personality... - 12.03.2021- doxepin- 50mg - 6.11.2020- 75mg - 16.10.2020- 100mg - 30.09.2020- doxepin- 125mg - May 2020, omeprazole 40mg switched to esomeprazole 20mg - 2012 re-started Doxepin 75mg, evening. Increased to 150mg - 2012, Atenolol 25mg, twice a day - 2016, Low dose of HRT in evening, Sandrena and Utrogestan - Long term of Nasal spray Otrivine - 2012, PPI Omeprazole 40mg-evening 24.10.2014- Started ESCITALOPRAM-first 5mg and then 10mg; due to the adverse symptoms reduced on 5.01.2015- Escitalopram- 2.5mg 22.07.2016- re-started reduction by 1% at a time. Completed tappering on 19.03.2020 😇 Link to comment
Junglechicken Posted October 22, 2016 Share Posted October 22, 2016 Hi Ikam, Yes, there are days when you feel like you just want to die......I know them only too well. You have been through so much, and I wonder if you have an SA support group near you? People who are in the same situation as you, and who understand how you feel. I hope you won't have to feel severe loneliness like this. Hugs, JC Dose History: 19 Feb 2014 - Escitalopram 10mg daily June 2015 - Started taper, 5mg every other day July 2015 - 5mg every 2 days August 2015 - 5mg every 3 days September 2015 - 5mg every 4 days Sept 14th - Completed tapering, but at 7 weeks "drug free" I suffered serious WD symptoms as a consequence of "incorrect" tapering. Nov 25 2015 - Re-instated Cipralex @ 2.5mg daily. WD symptoms faded. Held at this dose and experienced "windows and waves". 12 Oct 2017 Reduced dose to 1.25mg. 13 Mar 2018 Reduced dose to 0.625mg (approx.). 16 April 2018 0mg. Windows and waves triggered by stress (IBS/reflux, headaches, sinus issues) Aug 2019 Mirena coil fitted 6 Jan 2020 MAJOR Wave hit 19 months following last dose (protracted WD). Symptoms listed below Mar 2020 Mirena coil removal. Therapy: Nov 15th 2016 Re-started therapy Jan 19th 2017 Started CBT Dec 2017 Started listening to Hypnotherapy CD (self-esteem). Nov 2019 Started couples therapy. Supplements: "Bioglan" Biotic Balance Ultimate Flora 10 billion CFU, live Bacteria, Probiotic, suitable for Vegetarians, with Lactobacillus Acidophilus, Lactobacillus Rhamnosus, Bifidobacterium Longum. "Pukka" Vitalise a unique blend of 30 energising botanicals. Diet: 16 April 2018 Detox cleanse / anti-candida for 90 days. Jan 2020 Started "small plate" diet (i.e child size portions). Exercise: Stretching, Yoga, Pilates, Spinning, Elliptical/upper body workout, walking. Medical Test Results: 4 Jan 2017 Homeopathic Treatment starts 24 Feb 2017 Started weight loss program 24 Mar 2017 Naturopathic Treatment + anti-Candida diet started due to suspected Candida Related Complex (CRC). DETOXED for 7 weeks to "re-set" gut. April 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Comprehensive Stool Analysis NEGATIVE; Full Blood Count (Normal) / Blood Cholesterol: 5.6 (Borderline) / Blood Sugar (Normal) / 28 Jun 2017 FSH 8.2 / 14 Nov 2017 FSH 17.7 Dec 2017 Blood Cholesterol: 3.9 (Normal) / Kidney Function (Normal) / Blood Sugar (Normal). December 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Food panel allergy (bloodwork) analysis - a few "VERY LOW/VL" allergens; Mar 2018 "Genova Diagnostics" SIBO urine analysis: High Level of Yeast/fungal markers found in small intestine but NO SIBO. April 2018 Thyroid (Normal) / Full Blood Count (Normal) / FSH (Normal). 16 April 2018 Started anti-Candida diet - 3 month protocol. 25 March 2020 All test results "Normal". CRP" 5 mg/L (normal range to 0-5 mg/L). Symptoms: Flu-like symptoms, anxiety, anhedonia, sinus headaches right-side (severe), IBS issues/reflux (severe)**, tinnitus, fatigue, inner tremor, nausea, chills/hot flushes, pounding heart, muscular issues including stiff left hip flexor, intense anger, PSSD (ongoing). **Histhamine intolerance (suspected). Major Life Events: Re-located to UK from Canada: Jan 2016 My father died: 5:05pm, Monday 5 Feb 2018 Last Lexapro dose: 16 April 2018 (its now been over a year since I quit ADs) Moved house: Friday 23rd February 2018 "Divorced" toxic Mother: Monday 26 March 2018 Starting working again: 19 November 2018 Diagnosed with: 5th August 2021 PTSD/C-PTSD Diagnosed with: March 2022 Interstitial Cystitis (IC)/Painful bladder syndrome Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted October 22, 2016 Moderator Share Posted October 22, 2016 Hi Ikam-- You're getting hit by a wave, it will pass and you'll be feeling better soon. Best not to fixate on feeling bad, but try to go about things as normally as possible. (((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))) Brass 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
ikam Posted October 22, 2016 Author Share Posted October 22, 2016 Brass, but it was triggered by a difficult situation at work... Possibly I am more sensitive... I don’t know anymore... I did not go to work for two days... I had to cut from some stimulation. But I have become so low... I am just so tired of my life... Try not to give up... Thanks - 12.03.2021- doxepin- 50mg - 6.11.2020- 75mg - 16.10.2020- 100mg - 30.09.2020- doxepin- 125mg - May 2020, omeprazole 40mg switched to esomeprazole 20mg - 2012 re-started Doxepin 75mg, evening. Increased to 150mg - 2012, Atenolol 25mg, twice a day - 2016, Low dose of HRT in evening, Sandrena and Utrogestan - Long term of Nasal spray Otrivine - 2012, PPI Omeprazole 40mg-evening 24.10.2014- Started ESCITALOPRAM-first 5mg and then 10mg; due to the adverse symptoms reduced on 5.01.2015- Escitalopram- 2.5mg 22.07.2016- re-started reduction by 1% at a time. Completed tappering on 19.03.2020 😇 Link to comment
ikam Posted October 22, 2016 Author Share Posted October 22, 2016 Hi Ikam, Yes, there are days when you feel like you just want to die......I know them only too well. You have been through so much, and I wonder if you have an SA support group near you? People who are in the same situation as you, and who understand how you feel. I hope you won't have to feel severe loneliness like this. Hugs, JC JC, I have no support group around. I don't even know if there is any group here. My loneliness is overwhelming in times, my family does not talk to me...but I was lonely with them anyway... I have no friends around, some far away... When I feel like this I isolate, I just find contact with people so painful... My recent situation at work was so difficult... I am once more somebody who holds a different opinions and I told them what I think...because I always do, I cannot pretend that something is ok when it is not... I feel like an alien, and as I am a foreigner anyway, it just makes me feeling do isolated... So, I stay on my own, which seems like a choice, but it is so lonely, kind of abandoned... I have to get back to work on Monday, I wish I could stay home, not to work anymore... I am scared that something I had in the past (bulling and harassment at work) will happen again. So I feel I just want to die, so the pain will end... - 12.03.2021- doxepin- 50mg - 6.11.2020- 75mg - 16.10.2020- 100mg - 30.09.2020- doxepin- 125mg - May 2020, omeprazole 40mg switched to esomeprazole 20mg - 2012 re-started Doxepin 75mg, evening. Increased to 150mg - 2012, Atenolol 25mg, twice a day - 2016, Low dose of HRT in evening, Sandrena and Utrogestan - Long term of Nasal spray Otrivine - 2012, PPI Omeprazole 40mg-evening 24.10.2014- Started ESCITALOPRAM-first 5mg and then 10mg; due to the adverse symptoms reduced on 5.01.2015- Escitalopram- 2.5mg 22.07.2016- re-started reduction by 1% at a time. Completed tappering on 19.03.2020 😇 Link to comment
Junglechicken Posted October 22, 2016 Share Posted October 22, 2016 Ikam, I am sad to hear this and sorry you are suffering so much. Where are you from originally if you don't mind my asking? Dose History: 19 Feb 2014 - Escitalopram 10mg daily June 2015 - Started taper, 5mg every other day July 2015 - 5mg every 2 days August 2015 - 5mg every 3 days September 2015 - 5mg every 4 days Sept 14th - Completed tapering, but at 7 weeks "drug free" I suffered serious WD symptoms as a consequence of "incorrect" tapering. Nov 25 2015 - Re-instated Cipralex @ 2.5mg daily. WD symptoms faded. Held at this dose and experienced "windows and waves". 12 Oct 2017 Reduced dose to 1.25mg. 13 Mar 2018 Reduced dose to 0.625mg (approx.). 16 April 2018 0mg. Windows and waves triggered by stress (IBS/reflux, headaches, sinus issues) Aug 2019 Mirena coil fitted 6 Jan 2020 MAJOR Wave hit 19 months following last dose (protracted WD). Symptoms listed below Mar 2020 Mirena coil removal. Therapy: Nov 15th 2016 Re-started therapy Jan 19th 2017 Started CBT Dec 2017 Started listening to Hypnotherapy CD (self-esteem). Nov 2019 Started couples therapy. Supplements: "Bioglan" Biotic Balance Ultimate Flora 10 billion CFU, live Bacteria, Probiotic, suitable for Vegetarians, with Lactobacillus Acidophilus, Lactobacillus Rhamnosus, Bifidobacterium Longum. "Pukka" Vitalise a unique blend of 30 energising botanicals. Diet: 16 April 2018 Detox cleanse / anti-candida for 90 days. Jan 2020 Started "small plate" diet (i.e child size portions). Exercise: Stretching, Yoga, Pilates, Spinning, Elliptical/upper body workout, walking. Medical Test Results: 4 Jan 2017 Homeopathic Treatment starts 24 Feb 2017 Started weight loss program 24 Mar 2017 Naturopathic Treatment + anti-Candida diet started due to suspected Candida Related Complex (CRC). DETOXED for 7 weeks to "re-set" gut. April 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Comprehensive Stool Analysis NEGATIVE; Full Blood Count (Normal) / Blood Cholesterol: 5.6 (Borderline) / Blood Sugar (Normal) / 28 Jun 2017 FSH 8.2 / 14 Nov 2017 FSH 17.7 Dec 2017 Blood Cholesterol: 3.9 (Normal) / Kidney Function (Normal) / Blood Sugar (Normal). December 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Food panel allergy (bloodwork) analysis - a few "VERY LOW/VL" allergens; Mar 2018 "Genova Diagnostics" SIBO urine analysis: High Level of Yeast/fungal markers found in small intestine but NO SIBO. April 2018 Thyroid (Normal) / Full Blood Count (Normal) / FSH (Normal). 16 April 2018 Started anti-Candida diet - 3 month protocol. 25 March 2020 All test results "Normal". CRP" 5 mg/L (normal range to 0-5 mg/L). Symptoms: Flu-like symptoms, anxiety, anhedonia, sinus headaches right-side (severe), IBS issues/reflux (severe)**, tinnitus, fatigue, inner tremor, nausea, chills/hot flushes, pounding heart, muscular issues including stiff left hip flexor, intense anger, PSSD (ongoing). **Histhamine intolerance (suspected). Major Life Events: Re-located to UK from Canada: Jan 2016 My father died: 5:05pm, Monday 5 Feb 2018 Last Lexapro dose: 16 April 2018 (its now been over a year since I quit ADs) Moved house: Friday 23rd February 2018 "Divorced" toxic Mother: Monday 26 March 2018 Starting working again: 19 November 2018 Diagnosed with: 5th August 2021 PTSD/C-PTSD Diagnosed with: March 2022 Interstitial Cystitis (IC)/Painful bladder syndrome Link to comment
ikam Posted October 22, 2016 Author Share Posted October 22, 2016 I have been in UK for almost 15 years...I am originally from Poland.... - 12.03.2021- doxepin- 50mg - 6.11.2020- 75mg - 16.10.2020- 100mg - 30.09.2020- doxepin- 125mg - May 2020, omeprazole 40mg switched to esomeprazole 20mg - 2012 re-started Doxepin 75mg, evening. Increased to 150mg - 2012, Atenolol 25mg, twice a day - 2016, Low dose of HRT in evening, Sandrena and Utrogestan - Long term of Nasal spray Otrivine - 2012, PPI Omeprazole 40mg-evening 24.10.2014- Started ESCITALOPRAM-first 5mg and then 10mg; due to the adverse symptoms reduced on 5.01.2015- Escitalopram- 2.5mg 22.07.2016- re-started reduction by 1% at a time. Completed tappering on 19.03.2020 😇 Link to comment
Junglechicken Posted October 22, 2016 Share Posted October 22, 2016 Whereabouts in the UK are you Ikam? It's very tough making a life for yourself in another country, so I understand. It's tough even when you have been here for 15 yrs. Bullying and harassment is behaviour i am all too familiar with as well, and I understand that I attract bullies thanks to having a narcissistic mother. I am sorry that you have had to go through this :0( Which industry do you work in? Dose History: 19 Feb 2014 - Escitalopram 10mg daily June 2015 - Started taper, 5mg every other day July 2015 - 5mg every 2 days August 2015 - 5mg every 3 days September 2015 - 5mg every 4 days Sept 14th - Completed tapering, but at 7 weeks "drug free" I suffered serious WD symptoms as a consequence of "incorrect" tapering. Nov 25 2015 - Re-instated Cipralex @ 2.5mg daily. WD symptoms faded. Held at this dose and experienced "windows and waves". 12 Oct 2017 Reduced dose to 1.25mg. 13 Mar 2018 Reduced dose to 0.625mg (approx.). 16 April 2018 0mg. Windows and waves triggered by stress (IBS/reflux, headaches, sinus issues) Aug 2019 Mirena coil fitted 6 Jan 2020 MAJOR Wave hit 19 months following last dose (protracted WD). Symptoms listed below Mar 2020 Mirena coil removal. Therapy: Nov 15th 2016 Re-started therapy Jan 19th 2017 Started CBT Dec 2017 Started listening to Hypnotherapy CD (self-esteem). Nov 2019 Started couples therapy. Supplements: "Bioglan" Biotic Balance Ultimate Flora 10 billion CFU, live Bacteria, Probiotic, suitable for Vegetarians, with Lactobacillus Acidophilus, Lactobacillus Rhamnosus, Bifidobacterium Longum. "Pukka" Vitalise a unique blend of 30 energising botanicals. Diet: 16 April 2018 Detox cleanse / anti-candida for 90 days. Jan 2020 Started "small plate" diet (i.e child size portions). Exercise: Stretching, Yoga, Pilates, Spinning, Elliptical/upper body workout, walking. Medical Test Results: 4 Jan 2017 Homeopathic Treatment starts 24 Feb 2017 Started weight loss program 24 Mar 2017 Naturopathic Treatment + anti-Candida diet started due to suspected Candida Related Complex (CRC). DETOXED for 7 weeks to "re-set" gut. April 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Comprehensive Stool Analysis NEGATIVE; Full Blood Count (Normal) / Blood Cholesterol: 5.6 (Borderline) / Blood Sugar (Normal) / 28 Jun 2017 FSH 8.2 / 14 Nov 2017 FSH 17.7 Dec 2017 Blood Cholesterol: 3.9 (Normal) / Kidney Function (Normal) / Blood Sugar (Normal). December 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Food panel allergy (bloodwork) analysis - a few "VERY LOW/VL" allergens; Mar 2018 "Genova Diagnostics" SIBO urine analysis: High Level of Yeast/fungal markers found in small intestine but NO SIBO. April 2018 Thyroid (Normal) / Full Blood Count (Normal) / FSH (Normal). 16 April 2018 Started anti-Candida diet - 3 month protocol. 25 March 2020 All test results "Normal". CRP" 5 mg/L (normal range to 0-5 mg/L). Symptoms: Flu-like symptoms, anxiety, anhedonia, sinus headaches right-side (severe), IBS issues/reflux (severe)**, tinnitus, fatigue, inner tremor, nausea, chills/hot flushes, pounding heart, muscular issues including stiff left hip flexor, intense anger, PSSD (ongoing). **Histhamine intolerance (suspected). Major Life Events: Re-located to UK from Canada: Jan 2016 My father died: 5:05pm, Monday 5 Feb 2018 Last Lexapro dose: 16 April 2018 (its now been over a year since I quit ADs) Moved house: Friday 23rd February 2018 "Divorced" toxic Mother: Monday 26 March 2018 Starting working again: 19 November 2018 Diagnosed with: 5th August 2021 PTSD/C-PTSD Diagnosed with: March 2022 Interstitial Cystitis (IC)/Painful bladder syndrome Link to comment
ikam Posted October 23, 2016 Author Share Posted October 23, 2016 I see you on 2.5mg. I did hold on 2.5 for over one year. I have been tapering 1% at a time using Brassmonkey sliding protocol. I answered to you more personal questions in the message direct to your mailbox. It is so hard, as I was once married to a bully-narcissist...we are separated now...it adds to my loneliness... it seems that I attract narcissists as well...but I have been working in therapy on this...I was severely traumatised as a child...my father died 40 years ago, but I am still wounded... - 12.03.2021- doxepin- 50mg - 6.11.2020- 75mg - 16.10.2020- 100mg - 30.09.2020- doxepin- 125mg - May 2020, omeprazole 40mg switched to esomeprazole 20mg - 2012 re-started Doxepin 75mg, evening. Increased to 150mg - 2012, Atenolol 25mg, twice a day - 2016, Low dose of HRT in evening, Sandrena and Utrogestan - Long term of Nasal spray Otrivine - 2012, PPI Omeprazole 40mg-evening 24.10.2014- Started ESCITALOPRAM-first 5mg and then 10mg; due to the adverse symptoms reduced on 5.01.2015- Escitalopram- 2.5mg 22.07.2016- re-started reduction by 1% at a time. Completed tappering on 19.03.2020 😇 Link to comment
Junglechicken Posted October 23, 2016 Share Posted October 23, 2016 Ikam, I got your message and have replied. Thank you for answering my questions. Yes, narcissistic parents leave us very vulnerable for our whole lives, and I will also be starting therapy soon to make sense of it all. I anticipate having a long hard taper ahead of me which could take 2 yrs. Hugs Ikam, you are not alone in this. JC xx Dose History: 19 Feb 2014 - Escitalopram 10mg daily June 2015 - Started taper, 5mg every other day July 2015 - 5mg every 2 days August 2015 - 5mg every 3 days September 2015 - 5mg every 4 days Sept 14th - Completed tapering, but at 7 weeks "drug free" I suffered serious WD symptoms as a consequence of "incorrect" tapering. Nov 25 2015 - Re-instated Cipralex @ 2.5mg daily. WD symptoms faded. Held at this dose and experienced "windows and waves". 12 Oct 2017 Reduced dose to 1.25mg. 13 Mar 2018 Reduced dose to 0.625mg (approx.). 16 April 2018 0mg. Windows and waves triggered by stress (IBS/reflux, headaches, sinus issues) Aug 2019 Mirena coil fitted 6 Jan 2020 MAJOR Wave hit 19 months following last dose (protracted WD). Symptoms listed below Mar 2020 Mirena coil removal. Therapy: Nov 15th 2016 Re-started therapy Jan 19th 2017 Started CBT Dec 2017 Started listening to Hypnotherapy CD (self-esteem). Nov 2019 Started couples therapy. Supplements: "Bioglan" Biotic Balance Ultimate Flora 10 billion CFU, live Bacteria, Probiotic, suitable for Vegetarians, with Lactobacillus Acidophilus, Lactobacillus Rhamnosus, Bifidobacterium Longum. "Pukka" Vitalise a unique blend of 30 energising botanicals. Diet: 16 April 2018 Detox cleanse / anti-candida for 90 days. Jan 2020 Started "small plate" diet (i.e child size portions). Exercise: Stretching, Yoga, Pilates, Spinning, Elliptical/upper body workout, walking. Medical Test Results: 4 Jan 2017 Homeopathic Treatment starts 24 Feb 2017 Started weight loss program 24 Mar 2017 Naturopathic Treatment + anti-Candida diet started due to suspected Candida Related Complex (CRC). DETOXED for 7 weeks to "re-set" gut. April 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Comprehensive Stool Analysis NEGATIVE; Full Blood Count (Normal) / Blood Cholesterol: 5.6 (Borderline) / Blood Sugar (Normal) / 28 Jun 2017 FSH 8.2 / 14 Nov 2017 FSH 17.7 Dec 2017 Blood Cholesterol: 3.9 (Normal) / Kidney Function (Normal) / Blood Sugar (Normal). December 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Food panel allergy (bloodwork) analysis - a few "VERY LOW/VL" allergens; Mar 2018 "Genova Diagnostics" SIBO urine analysis: High Level of Yeast/fungal markers found in small intestine but NO SIBO. April 2018 Thyroid (Normal) / Full Blood Count (Normal) / FSH (Normal). 16 April 2018 Started anti-Candida diet - 3 month protocol. 25 March 2020 All test results "Normal". CRP" 5 mg/L (normal range to 0-5 mg/L). Symptoms: Flu-like symptoms, anxiety, anhedonia, sinus headaches right-side (severe), IBS issues/reflux (severe)**, tinnitus, fatigue, inner tremor, nausea, chills/hot flushes, pounding heart, muscular issues including stiff left hip flexor, intense anger, PSSD (ongoing). **Histhamine intolerance (suspected). Major Life Events: Re-located to UK from Canada: Jan 2016 My father died: 5:05pm, Monday 5 Feb 2018 Last Lexapro dose: 16 April 2018 (its now been over a year since I quit ADs) Moved house: Friday 23rd February 2018 "Divorced" toxic Mother: Monday 26 March 2018 Starting working again: 19 November 2018 Diagnosed with: 5th August 2021 PTSD/C-PTSD Diagnosed with: March 2022 Interstitial Cystitis (IC)/Painful bladder syndrome Link to comment
ikam Posted October 23, 2016 Author Share Posted October 23, 2016 It is good that you are preparing; I think it will take me around 2 years...it seems slow, but cannot speed it up... I have a hard time now, doubting that I will manage...I was completely drug free and re-started...and I take more drugs now than before...It also seems that Escitalopram is more tricky... There are days I just want to die...I think I have nothing to live for and I am tired... - 12.03.2021- doxepin- 50mg - 6.11.2020- 75mg - 16.10.2020- 100mg - 30.09.2020- doxepin- 125mg - May 2020, omeprazole 40mg switched to esomeprazole 20mg - 2012 re-started Doxepin 75mg, evening. Increased to 150mg - 2012, Atenolol 25mg, twice a day - 2016, Low dose of HRT in evening, Sandrena and Utrogestan - Long term of Nasal spray Otrivine - 2012, PPI Omeprazole 40mg-evening 24.10.2014- Started ESCITALOPRAM-first 5mg and then 10mg; due to the adverse symptoms reduced on 5.01.2015- Escitalopram- 2.5mg 22.07.2016- re-started reduction by 1% at a time. Completed tappering on 19.03.2020 😇 Link to comment
Junglechicken Posted October 23, 2016 Share Posted October 23, 2016 It is good that you are preparing; I think it will take me around 2 years...it seems slow, but cannot speed it up... I have a hard time now, doubting that I will manage...I was completely drug free and re-started...and I take more drugs now than before...It also seems that Escitalopram is more tricky... There are days I just want to die...I think I have nothing to live for and I am tired... I can relate to how tired you feel Ikam. Fighting an invisible threat to our life (day in day out) is tiring. I will keep praying for us Ikam, that we can find the strength within ourselves.....we can and we will. Dose History: 19 Feb 2014 - Escitalopram 10mg daily June 2015 - Started taper, 5mg every other day July 2015 - 5mg every 2 days August 2015 - 5mg every 3 days September 2015 - 5mg every 4 days Sept 14th - Completed tapering, but at 7 weeks "drug free" I suffered serious WD symptoms as a consequence of "incorrect" tapering. Nov 25 2015 - Re-instated Cipralex @ 2.5mg daily. WD symptoms faded. Held at this dose and experienced "windows and waves". 12 Oct 2017 Reduced dose to 1.25mg. 13 Mar 2018 Reduced dose to 0.625mg (approx.). 16 April 2018 0mg. Windows and waves triggered by stress (IBS/reflux, headaches, sinus issues) Aug 2019 Mirena coil fitted 6 Jan 2020 MAJOR Wave hit 19 months following last dose (protracted WD). Symptoms listed below Mar 2020 Mirena coil removal. Therapy: Nov 15th 2016 Re-started therapy Jan 19th 2017 Started CBT Dec 2017 Started listening to Hypnotherapy CD (self-esteem). Nov 2019 Started couples therapy. Supplements: "Bioglan" Biotic Balance Ultimate Flora 10 billion CFU, live Bacteria, Probiotic, suitable for Vegetarians, with Lactobacillus Acidophilus, Lactobacillus Rhamnosus, Bifidobacterium Longum. "Pukka" Vitalise a unique blend of 30 energising botanicals. Diet: 16 April 2018 Detox cleanse / anti-candida for 90 days. Jan 2020 Started "small plate" diet (i.e child size portions). Exercise: Stretching, Yoga, Pilates, Spinning, Elliptical/upper body workout, walking. Medical Test Results: 4 Jan 2017 Homeopathic Treatment starts 24 Feb 2017 Started weight loss program 24 Mar 2017 Naturopathic Treatment + anti-Candida diet started due to suspected Candida Related Complex (CRC). DETOXED for 7 weeks to "re-set" gut. April 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Comprehensive Stool Analysis NEGATIVE; Full Blood Count (Normal) / Blood Cholesterol: 5.6 (Borderline) / Blood Sugar (Normal) / 28 Jun 2017 FSH 8.2 / 14 Nov 2017 FSH 17.7 Dec 2017 Blood Cholesterol: 3.9 (Normal) / Kidney Function (Normal) / Blood Sugar (Normal). December 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Food panel allergy (bloodwork) analysis - a few "VERY LOW/VL" allergens; Mar 2018 "Genova Diagnostics" SIBO urine analysis: High Level of Yeast/fungal markers found in small intestine but NO SIBO. April 2018 Thyroid (Normal) / Full Blood Count (Normal) / FSH (Normal). 16 April 2018 Started anti-Candida diet - 3 month protocol. 25 March 2020 All test results "Normal". CRP" 5 mg/L (normal range to 0-5 mg/L). Symptoms: Flu-like symptoms, anxiety, anhedonia, sinus headaches right-side (severe), IBS issues/reflux (severe)**, tinnitus, fatigue, inner tremor, nausea, chills/hot flushes, pounding heart, muscular issues including stiff left hip flexor, intense anger, PSSD (ongoing). **Histhamine intolerance (suspected). Major Life Events: Re-located to UK from Canada: Jan 2016 My father died: 5:05pm, Monday 5 Feb 2018 Last Lexapro dose: 16 April 2018 (its now been over a year since I quit ADs) Moved house: Friday 23rd February 2018 "Divorced" toxic Mother: Monday 26 March 2018 Starting working again: 19 November 2018 Diagnosed with: 5th August 2021 PTSD/C-PTSD Diagnosed with: March 2022 Interstitial Cystitis (IC)/Painful bladder syndrome Link to comment
ikam Posted October 23, 2016 Author Share Posted October 23, 2016 thank you... - 12.03.2021- doxepin- 50mg - 6.11.2020- 75mg - 16.10.2020- 100mg - 30.09.2020- doxepin- 125mg - May 2020, omeprazole 40mg switched to esomeprazole 20mg - 2012 re-started Doxepin 75mg, evening. Increased to 150mg - 2012, Atenolol 25mg, twice a day - 2016, Low dose of HRT in evening, Sandrena and Utrogestan - Long term of Nasal spray Otrivine - 2012, PPI Omeprazole 40mg-evening 24.10.2014- Started ESCITALOPRAM-first 5mg and then 10mg; due to the adverse symptoms reduced on 5.01.2015- Escitalopram- 2.5mg 22.07.2016- re-started reduction by 1% at a time. Completed tappering on 19.03.2020 😇 Link to comment
ikam Posted October 25, 2016 Author Share Posted October 25, 2016 I have not done another 1%; I based this on feeling low, tired, demotivated, frustrated and immobilised...All due to the conflict at my work which has not been solved yet... I feel more sad that I have not gone ahead with my tapper. Asking myself if i will ever be able to move on...Therewill be always life situations... I dont know what to do, carry on, or stop... This WD seems so complicated for me, as it is impossible to separate life situations, emotional responses and chemical imbalance... - 12.03.2021- doxepin- 50mg - 6.11.2020- 75mg - 16.10.2020- 100mg - 30.09.2020- doxepin- 125mg - May 2020, omeprazole 40mg switched to esomeprazole 20mg - 2012 re-started Doxepin 75mg, evening. Increased to 150mg - 2012, Atenolol 25mg, twice a day - 2016, Low dose of HRT in evening, Sandrena and Utrogestan - Long term of Nasal spray Otrivine - 2012, PPI Omeprazole 40mg-evening 24.10.2014- Started ESCITALOPRAM-first 5mg and then 10mg; due to the adverse symptoms reduced on 5.01.2015- Escitalopram- 2.5mg 22.07.2016- re-started reduction by 1% at a time. Completed tappering on 19.03.2020 😇 Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted October 25, 2016 Moderator Share Posted October 25, 2016 It's like juggling knives, broken bottles and bowling balls. We keep making adjustments to keep from getting stabbed, slashed or bashed. Believe in yourself, that you're doing the best you can under extremely difficult conditions and let go of the anxiety and fear. You're off to an excellent start on your taper and with time will learn to surf on top of the waves instead of drowning in them. Taper schedules are not fixed in stone, but are flexible to fit in and keep life as normal a s possible. ((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))) 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
ikam Posted October 26, 2016 Author Share Posted October 26, 2016 Yes, I have made this adjustment, but I know the reason for my stress is external...My response is possibly more intense...But I know I would be stressed out without meds as well... Really, I dont know/dont remember how life feels with no meds. Started when I was 21, never stopped... Also, when I was younger/starting 14 years old, I dealt with stress using alcohol... So my autonomus nerves system is "completely" dissregulated... When we add PTSD and emotional neglect since being born, I have never learnt so called "normal" responses... - 12.03.2021- doxepin- 50mg - 6.11.2020- 75mg - 16.10.2020- 100mg - 30.09.2020- doxepin- 125mg - May 2020, omeprazole 40mg switched to esomeprazole 20mg - 2012 re-started Doxepin 75mg, evening. Increased to 150mg - 2012, Atenolol 25mg, twice a day - 2016, Low dose of HRT in evening, Sandrena and Utrogestan - Long term of Nasal spray Otrivine - 2012, PPI Omeprazole 40mg-evening 24.10.2014- Started ESCITALOPRAM-first 5mg and then 10mg; due to the adverse symptoms reduced on 5.01.2015- Escitalopram- 2.5mg 22.07.2016- re-started reduction by 1% at a time. Completed tappering on 19.03.2020 😇 Link to comment
ikam Posted October 27, 2016 Author Share Posted October 27, 2016 there are times when i think to get back on 2.5mg and stay like this for life... - 12.03.2021- doxepin- 50mg - 6.11.2020- 75mg - 16.10.2020- 100mg - 30.09.2020- doxepin- 125mg - May 2020, omeprazole 40mg switched to esomeprazole 20mg - 2012 re-started Doxepin 75mg, evening. Increased to 150mg - 2012, Atenolol 25mg, twice a day - 2016, Low dose of HRT in evening, Sandrena and Utrogestan - Long term of Nasal spray Otrivine - 2012, PPI Omeprazole 40mg-evening 24.10.2014- Started ESCITALOPRAM-first 5mg and then 10mg; due to the adverse symptoms reduced on 5.01.2015- Escitalopram- 2.5mg 22.07.2016- re-started reduction by 1% at a time. Completed tappering on 19.03.2020 😇 Link to comment
ikam Posted October 29, 2016 Author Share Posted October 29, 2016 When I am stress free, like during the weekend, I am OK. No symptoms... During week days, I tend to wake up around 6am, cannot sleep longer, then have problem with starting day, and feel kind of frustrated, irritable all day... But I generally frustrated with my work and people make me irritable... I have never liked contact with people and work exposes me to them, hence I feel so tense... I am OK today, no people, no noises... The world has become so noisy... - 12.03.2021- doxepin- 50mg - 6.11.2020- 75mg - 16.10.2020- 100mg - 30.09.2020- doxepin- 125mg - May 2020, omeprazole 40mg switched to esomeprazole 20mg - 2012 re-started Doxepin 75mg, evening. Increased to 150mg - 2012, Atenolol 25mg, twice a day - 2016, Low dose of HRT in evening, Sandrena and Utrogestan - Long term of Nasal spray Otrivine - 2012, PPI Omeprazole 40mg-evening 24.10.2014- Started ESCITALOPRAM-first 5mg and then 10mg; due to the adverse symptoms reduced on 5.01.2015- Escitalopram- 2.5mg 22.07.2016- re-started reduction by 1% at a time. Completed tappering on 19.03.2020 😇 Link to comment
ikam Posted October 30, 2016 Author Share Posted October 30, 2016 woke up in a bad state...thinking that i will never be able to tapper...my emotions are "too strong", they are triggered by external stimuly, but then stay disturbed for long... I took 25mg of extra doxepin today morning...I wonder if I could add this for some time to manage my emotions? - 12.03.2021- doxepin- 50mg - 6.11.2020- 75mg - 16.10.2020- 100mg - 30.09.2020- doxepin- 125mg - May 2020, omeprazole 40mg switched to esomeprazole 20mg - 2012 re-started Doxepin 75mg, evening. Increased to 150mg - 2012, Atenolol 25mg, twice a day - 2016, Low dose of HRT in evening, Sandrena and Utrogestan - Long term of Nasal spray Otrivine - 2012, PPI Omeprazole 40mg-evening 24.10.2014- Started ESCITALOPRAM-first 5mg and then 10mg; due to the adverse symptoms reduced on 5.01.2015- Escitalopram- 2.5mg 22.07.2016- re-started reduction by 1% at a time. Completed tappering on 19.03.2020 😇 Link to comment
ikam Posted November 1, 2016 Author Share Posted November 1, 2016 I dont know if this is stress or WD. Should i updose and find out? If yes, should I get back to 4%? - 12.03.2021- doxepin- 50mg - 6.11.2020- 75mg - 16.10.2020- 100mg - 30.09.2020- doxepin- 125mg - May 2020, omeprazole 40mg switched to esomeprazole 20mg - 2012 re-started Doxepin 75mg, evening. Increased to 150mg - 2012, Atenolol 25mg, twice a day - 2016, Low dose of HRT in evening, Sandrena and Utrogestan - Long term of Nasal spray Otrivine - 2012, PPI Omeprazole 40mg-evening 24.10.2014- Started ESCITALOPRAM-first 5mg and then 10mg; due to the adverse symptoms reduced on 5.01.2015- Escitalopram- 2.5mg 22.07.2016- re-started reduction by 1% at a time. Completed tappering on 19.03.2020 😇 Link to comment
AliG Posted November 1, 2016 Share Posted November 1, 2016 Ikam. This is probably just a wave. If you can maintain stability at the dose you are on currently rather than updose in reaction to an increase in symptoms it would be preferable in my opinion. I understand how challenging this can be at times particularly if there is past trauma and maladaptive behaviour but I believe that if you can possibly learn new ways of managing your emotions by using natural drug free methods and coping skills then you can eventually taper off your medication and remain drug free for the long term. I have found it very important to put certain strategies in place so that I have the means to manage my emotions rather than let them overwhelm me. It has taken work and commitment but I'm highly motivated to avoid doctors and drugs in the future and therefore it's important to have these alternatives. I would advise you to work on your non- drug coping methods as a means of being self reliant and becoming more comfortable in your own skin so as not to be constantly looking for a pill to provide the answer to feeling better in the short term. Long term non - drug strategies are life affirming and empowering whereas pills will eventually destroy your health and happiness. I see it as a choice between either heading towards life and light or sinking in quicksand relentlessly pursuing a short term fix in the form of a drug. I know there are waves but if you can stay on course without constantly adjusting to try and " fix " symptoms then it will go more smoothly for you. Please have a read through this link : I believe it's the key to breaking this pattern. Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms Ali Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus ChessieCat Posted November 1, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted November 1, 2016 I fully agree with Ali's post. Another thing that is useful is to learn to accept how things currently are. On my worst days, I've had to keep telling myself that this is "how it is at this moment" and that I just need to hang in until things improve. And yes, it is hard, and it does take effort, but it is well worth it. Accepting allows us to be more restful rather than fighting against what is happening. And it takes practice. Acceptance * NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA * MISSION ACCOMPLISHED: (6 year taper) 0mg Pristiq on 13th November 2021 ADs since ~1992: 25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq: 50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity) Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021 LAST DOSE 0.0025mg Post 0 updates start here My tapering program My Intro (goes to tapering graph) VIDEO: Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management Link to comment
ikam Posted November 1, 2016 Author Share Posted November 1, 2016 Ikam. This is probably just a wave. If you can maintain stability at the dose you are on currently rather than updose in reaction to an increase in symptoms it would be preferable in my opinion. I understand how challenging this can be at times particularly if there is past trauma and maladaptive behaviour but I believe that if you can possibly learn new ways of managing your emotions by using natural drug free methods and coping skills then you can eventually taper off your medication and remain drug free for the long term. I have found it very important to put certain strategies in place so that I have the means to manage my emotions rather than let them overwhelm me. It has taken work and commitment but I'm highly motivated to avoid doctors and drugs in the future and therefore it's important to have these alternatives. I would advise you to work on your non- drug coping methods as a means of being self reliant and becoming more comfortable in your own skin so as not to be constantly looking for a pill to provide the answer to feeling better in the short term. Long term non - drug strategies are life affirming and empowering whereas pills will eventually destroy your health and happiness. I see it as a choice between either heading towards life and light or sinking in quicksand relentlessly pursuing a short term fix in the form of a drug. I know there are waves but if you can stay on course without constantly adjusting to try and " fix " symptoms then it will go more smoothly for you. Please have a read through this link : I believe it's the key to breaking this pattern. Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms Ali I fully agree with Ali's post. Another thing that is useful is to learn to accept how things currently are. On my worst days, I've had to keep telling myself that this is "how it is at this moment" and that I just need to hang in until things improve. And yes, it is hard, and it does take effort, but it is well worth it. Accepting allows us to be more restful rather than fighting against what is happening. And it takes practice. Acceptance Hi Both, when I am in a rational part I fully agree with your comments/suggestions. I will read more on acceptance and I will try to get through this wave... The wave coincided with some stress at work, or it has been triggered by it... I need to find a solution to my "job environment", which affects me hugely. They put two new people to "my room", so we have three computers for four people...I have started feeling so insecure with this. Also, my manager tends to down-skill me in my meetings with him, then says: "I did not mean...it is your interpretation..." etc. I feel small with him...this affects me in the way that I feel like quitting my job...lost motivation, lost enthusiasm...want to hide away in a "security of my home"... I was dealing so well until this work nuisance emerged...I feel completely disheartened... - 12.03.2021- doxepin- 50mg - 6.11.2020- 75mg - 16.10.2020- 100mg - 30.09.2020- doxepin- 125mg - May 2020, omeprazole 40mg switched to esomeprazole 20mg - 2012 re-started Doxepin 75mg, evening. Increased to 150mg - 2012, Atenolol 25mg, twice a day - 2016, Low dose of HRT in evening, Sandrena and Utrogestan - Long term of Nasal spray Otrivine - 2012, PPI Omeprazole 40mg-evening 24.10.2014- Started ESCITALOPRAM-first 5mg and then 10mg; due to the adverse symptoms reduced on 5.01.2015- Escitalopram- 2.5mg 22.07.2016- re-started reduction by 1% at a time. Completed tappering on 19.03.2020 😇 Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted November 1, 2016 Moderator Share Posted November 1, 2016 Every time a person changes dose, either up or down, it destabilizes things. They then have to wait for things to stabilize again before any positive results can be seen. To updose due to situational stress or being in a wave is pretty useless. If they're in a wave, the wave will have passed by the time they re-stabilize and now they're stuck back at a higher dose. Same with the situational stress. If the situational stress is on going they also have the additional problem of coping with the destabilization of the updose at the same time. There is also the chance that the updose won't relieve the feelings or will cause more trouble. All in all it ends up being best to hold and ride things out, while trying to sort out the situational problems. Learning the coping skills Ali and Chessie linked you too will be much more productive and have much better long term affects than trying to solve things with an increase of the drugs. ((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))) Brass 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
ikam Posted November 2, 2016 Author Share Posted November 2, 2016 Thank you Brass and All, you very right...updosing may make me even more unsettled... If this is "just" a WAVE, i need to "surf it"...trying to be more mindful and accepting things the way they are... it seems that i am dealing with emotions i was always medicating... when i was much younger i used to drink a lot, but i did not take any meds, my emotions were always up and down, as i had nobody supporting me, containing my feelings... but i was dealing with them the best i could... when i was 21 i was severly suicidal, so they hospitalised me and medicated...since then i struggle... i try to have emotions "for others", so they dont need to be exposed to me being "normally" angry, or sad...I tried to make it flat for the world...so they consider me as well adapted (???) I tried for myself to get damp my feelings... But I am a very sensitive person, always have been... Since medicating, I have stopped to be creative (writing, drawing), and I stopped enjoying life... Damping emotions seems a habit that I have had for more than 30 years, so any time something arises, I feel I want to "kill it"... - 12.03.2021- doxepin- 50mg - 6.11.2020- 75mg - 16.10.2020- 100mg - 30.09.2020- doxepin- 125mg - May 2020, omeprazole 40mg switched to esomeprazole 20mg - 2012 re-started Doxepin 75mg, evening. Increased to 150mg - 2012, Atenolol 25mg, twice a day - 2016, Low dose of HRT in evening, Sandrena and Utrogestan - Long term of Nasal spray Otrivine - 2012, PPI Omeprazole 40mg-evening 24.10.2014- Started ESCITALOPRAM-first 5mg and then 10mg; due to the adverse symptoms reduced on 5.01.2015- Escitalopram- 2.5mg 22.07.2016- re-started reduction by 1% at a time. Completed tappering on 19.03.2020 😇 Link to comment
ikam Posted November 7, 2016 Author Share Posted November 7, 2016 https://goo.gl/2uL7bH - 12.03.2021- doxepin- 50mg - 6.11.2020- 75mg - 16.10.2020- 100mg - 30.09.2020- doxepin- 125mg - May 2020, omeprazole 40mg switched to esomeprazole 20mg - 2012 re-started Doxepin 75mg, evening. Increased to 150mg - 2012, Atenolol 25mg, twice a day - 2016, Low dose of HRT in evening, Sandrena and Utrogestan - Long term of Nasal spray Otrivine - 2012, PPI Omeprazole 40mg-evening 24.10.2014- Started ESCITALOPRAM-first 5mg and then 10mg; due to the adverse symptoms reduced on 5.01.2015- Escitalopram- 2.5mg 22.07.2016- re-started reduction by 1% at a time. Completed tappering on 19.03.2020 😇 Link to comment
ikam Posted November 9, 2016 Author Share Posted November 9, 2016 Hi again, when i was tappering effexor i was under homeopatic practitioner and she used to make me homeopatic remedies that assissted me with WD. They were very gentle. I wonder what people think about homeopathy? - 12.03.2021- doxepin- 50mg - 6.11.2020- 75mg - 16.10.2020- 100mg - 30.09.2020- doxepin- 125mg - May 2020, omeprazole 40mg switched to esomeprazole 20mg - 2012 re-started Doxepin 75mg, evening. Increased to 150mg - 2012, Atenolol 25mg, twice a day - 2016, Low dose of HRT in evening, Sandrena and Utrogestan - Long term of Nasal spray Otrivine - 2012, PPI Omeprazole 40mg-evening 24.10.2014- Started ESCITALOPRAM-first 5mg and then 10mg; due to the adverse symptoms reduced on 5.01.2015- Escitalopram- 2.5mg 22.07.2016- re-started reduction by 1% at a time. Completed tappering on 19.03.2020 😇 Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus ChessieCat Posted November 9, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted November 9, 2016 To search the site I use google and type in survivingantidepressants.org + topic. homeopathy * NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA * MISSION ACCOMPLISHED: (6 year taper) 0mg Pristiq on 13th November 2021 ADs since ~1992: 25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq: 50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity) Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021 LAST DOSE 0.0025mg Post 0 updates start here My tapering program My Intro (goes to tapering graph) VIDEO: Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management Link to comment
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