Tilly - Escitalopram / Lexapro Tapering - advice please

[Tilly]

***Please skip this post if you are feeling vulnerable. This is a log of my symptoms for self monitoring in coming weeks. Reading other people's symptoms can be de - motivating and unhelpful. If I were reading this thread, I would skip this post***

 

 

 

Personal log of current symptoms to monitor in next few weeks after drop to 3.0mg today:

 

- Severe fatigue & lethargy

- Physical & emotional exhaustion

- Significantly reduced cognitive functioning and short term memory

- Physical functioning almost non existent

- Hypersomnia

- Restlessness and agitation when awake

- Intermittent episodes of sudden onset, short lived terror in relation to health (fear of impending death - totally irrational but terrifying) accompanied   by facial flushing, overheating, palpitations, physical weakness / shaking, the need to flee or pace (sometimes accompanied by freeze response)

- Increased anxiety and worrying

- Re emergence of neuro - emotions

- Significantly reduced motivation

- Reduced co ordination

- Excessive eye floaters and clouded vision

- Increased sensitivity to light and noise

- Poor temperature regulation that fluctuates / waking up due to profuse sweating

- Pins and needles sensation in hands, feet and shoulders

- Lower back pain

- Gastric upsets

- Significant reduced ability to self care

- Need to be supervised when taking medication to ensure that I administer correct dose

- Dry skin (body)  

- Facial blemishes

- Lifeless facial expression and eyes

- Significant increase in hair loss and painful scalp

- Itching around eye area, inside nasal passage, arms, torso, back and feet.

- Flu like symptoms and blocked nose

- Heightened emotional response and intermittent crying

- Feelings of hopelessness

[Fresh]

Tilly , I found the quickest way to cool down after waking in a sweat was placing wet cotton tea-towels across my skin , front and back.

Regular towels got too heavy , and the cotton "wicks away" the sweat , like Pat Rafter's undies.

Wish I had more to offer.

 

xxx

[btdt]

 

 

 

 

 DSM which is based on as much fact and clinical evidence as any fairy tale we may have heard as a child.

 

Hi Tilly I have decided today to read your entire thread I had to stop here and comment on this as we are of the same mind.  I think each time the re write the tale it gets more and more fictionalized think I may have just made  up a word but spell check did not hit me so I am going with it. 

 

I more comment so far backing off the B vitamins seems to have made a difference or so I think from where I sit reading... what is your experience of this do you feel stopping them has helped?  

 

While I think there are certain B vitamins that are bad for me I would like to try and experiment with some individual Bs from my own experience I think some of them may actually be helpful but taking them all together as is always recommended does not work for me. I have tried B6 and that was a bad idea as I think I have put her before I was so depressed I could not lift my head. 

 

Now my other experience was with cereal early on and off and on ... all these 7+ years. I started to have bits of bran cereal the original stick kind made by Kelloggs ( had to check the cupboard) this company is likely world wide so I am sure anyone can get it.  If not maybe some other company makes it... rambling... I have not been anywhere else so I would not know. Back to the point.. as that only makes any sense if you can get it... and maybe you can't... I don't know... rambling again.

 

I started on this cereal long ago in early wd when I could not digest food... a spoonful was my starting point I worked my way up.  Over the years I became apparent that I did not function as well if I did not eat this cereal but I was getting vary bored with eating it as it gets soggy fast in mild.  I tried the same band ina different form... and it did NOT have the same effect.  As far as feeling stable the sticks leveled me out and could make me sane ... or so it seemed and the bud type did nothing for me.  It was so important to my small factory of brain chemicals that I traveled with a container of it... a couple sisters have a container stored at their homes as I left it there to not be without it. 

 

I did compare the boxes of cereal to see what the difference was between the two brands long ago but forget... and it dawns on me now I am doing what I get trouble for all the time running on about my own stuff in other threads.  As something I read started the thought process.  So I will stop reading your thread for now and go do this comparison in my own thread... but I have this idea it may be vit B2 but that may be wrong... I likely should not say it... as far as magic foods for wd goes we all have different ones ... this one for a long time was mine.  It could have little to do with the vitamin content it could be some healing of the gut that helped by only one type of cereal.  All guessing as it always is with wd. 

 

Sorry to run on and I hope your doing well.  

I wish you peace.

 

as the famous line goes 

I will be back

 

[AliG]

 It's inhumane, what these drugs do to us.  We will get through this, Tilly.   You are courageous !  I admire your spirit.  I'm just so sorry you have to go through this agony. No one should have to endure this.  My heart breaks for all of us, but we are strong, and we shall conquer, and thrive, despite  all of this.  Hugs and prayers.    Ali.  

[btdt]

I have skipped ahead to present since my nap feel a bit disoriented and not up to finding where I left off. 

 

I don't believe that I will ever trust a doctor again until they prove their worth to me. My experience of both their scientific knowledge base and 'bedside manner' with people leaves so much to be desired and causes more harm than good.

 

My health is in my own hands, where it belongs and will stay there until I am able to access a practitioner worthy of contributing to my health and well being

 

I am right with you there Tilly.  I am so happy you have a person who loves you and takes care of you... pleased too that you have kept your home.  I am not up on the fraud story but if I were you now that the mortgage is done I would find a new back ... may even toy with a name change. Is that a crazy thought maybe it is but should I ever be offered a real life again I will go to extreme measures to protect it.  

 

Your in the thick of it I am going to find where I left off reading your thread.  I hope the day finds you well... better then usual at any rate. 

peace

[bubble]

Hello Tilly,

 

I also feel guilty for not being around much but looking at others really see no reason. I've wanted to drop you at least a brief note for days but obviously haven't really been very effecient at that... I'm sorry that things took a turn for the worse but I'm happy you are with us so that Alto could pick up that 3.5 might be too activating for you. It takes time but things do settle after a while.

 

I totally understand your feelings around being powerless. But I very often think that being able to receive is as important as being able to give (something that our modern societies don't acknowledge and promulgate the ideal of self-sufficiency at the expense of alienation and isolation). I'm trying to say that we are in a way programmed to hate such situations although they teach us humility, belonging and many other important things that make us human.

 

I admire your determination to do as much as you can when you can't do much such as doing those little exercises. And congrats on repaying the mortgage! At least this can now enable you to take this respite more calmly. Just allow yourself time off (from your own expectations).

 

I read through your list of symptoms and concluded that I have at least 80 % of them but probably on a different scale...For instance  significantly reduced cognitive functioning and short term memory appears for shorter periods during the day and then clears away for a while. My symptoms are very often like April skies: clouds chasing each other and frequently obscuring the sun but overly giving an impression of a sunny day. And it's my choice what i want to focus on or whether I want to get frustrated while waiting for the cloud to move so that I could quickly do something.

 

When you have enough energy, I'll look forward to pics of your ducklings... Maybe looking at them will cheer you up as it will me  

 

I in general don't fret too much about hypersomnia. I guess the brain and the whole body are shutting down for repairs thus making them quicker.

 

Hugs,

Bubble

[bluebalu86]

Hi Tilly

 

I hope you feel better soon. I'm also suffering at the moment and know how you feel and what you're going through. You are not alone in this. I just managed to take a shower and it felt good and refreshing. I'm glad you have your partner to take care of you - there's no shame in that, I'm sure you would do the same for him. I agree with what bubble said about being able to receive being just as important as being able to give. Hang in there, I'll be thinking of you.

[Flowers]

Hi Tilly

 

We haven't spoken before but I was just reading your post with both sadness and admiration. So sorry that you are having a tough time. All those other problems to cope with too. I find any stress now makes me so much worse.  You have come so far though and you have such a wonderful way of writing and expressing yourself with honesty.

 

I truly hope that you feel some more relief soon. Sounds like you live in a peaceful place. My husband and I had a narrow boat on a marina in the UK. We actually lived on it for 6 months when our house sold quickly before moving to Spain. What a fantastic adventure that was and I am so sorry that we sold it. It would have made a great base for trips back home.

 

You are in my thoughts.

 

Flowers xxx

[freespirit]

Tilly,

 

I'm sorry you're being faced with so much at once. WD alone is huge, never mind having it complicated by outward things as well.

 

Receiving is a very challenging thing for most of us, especially as women. We are conditioned to care for others and it's not easy to accept that same care back. I saw this so often in hospice work. We are also taught that everyone should be self-sufficient and not need anything from others. Most of us feel shame at needing anything from someone else, particularly around more basic needs.

 

I saw so much of this in hospice work; the reluctance on the part of the client that would most often change over time. There is something so beautiful when people are able to allow this kind of care. My wife was so gracious about receiving in the last part of her life. She was also one who had taken care of others and had a hard time accepting or receiving. But I feel this is one of the greatest gifts she gave me in that last year. She allowed herself to be vulnerable in ways she hadn't been able to before. Receiving can be a blessing for the person who is giving, as well as for the receiver.

 

I so hear you on not trusting doctors. I know there are some good ones out there. We met a couple during my wife's illness. But there are so many more who are completely removed from knowing their actions have consequences..often very serious ones. I hope then the timing is right, that you are able to find some exceptional practitioners to contribute towards your good health.

[dalsaan]

Tilly

 

Thanks for stopping by my thread. I appreciate it particularly in the context of how you are feeling. I think freespirit has offered some useful insights into the experience of providing care for someone we love. Despite your current condition your partner sees the person he loves.

 

In terms of your gp, can you complain to your local MP or someone else in a position to get your agoraphobia recognised in the context of your treatment?

 

Dalsaan

[AmyK]

Tilly.

I am so sorry you are having it so rough.

You will get through this. It will get better.

You are doing all you can. It so beautiful how you describe your partner and how close you seem to be.

Sending many hugs!

[Tilly]

Firstly, I can't thank you all enough for your support which is motivating me daily towards my recovery and everyone here is a huge support and inspiration to my recovery. This website is a lifeline for so many. It also provides a source of truth and hope which is hugely lacking amongst so many prescribers (I can no longer in good conscience call such people health or care professionals any longer). I am unable to answer posts individually right now, but will do with improvement. I think of you all often. I am so grateful for all of you. Thank you so much.

 

Update

 

Since reducing to 3mg, I am unable to stay awake concurrently for periods of more than 5 hours. I have had one further episode of intense terror, horror and racing thoughts on the first evening of my reduction, but none since. Maybe the excessive sleep that I am now experiencing is reducing this effect. My speech is very lazy as everything takes such effort. I wake from every sleep now in a cold sweat not concurrent with the weather here in the not so sunny UK. Flannel 'baths' and wet wipes are my new allies in this journey. I also have a lot of gastric pain after eating, a funny taste in my mouth and sore gums.

 

As mentioned previously, I spent hours daily over the period of a month (when I was faring better on 5mg) on a 14 page document / letter of complaint which was filled with salient questions about the negligent care that I have received at the hands of my GP who withdrew prescriptions at 5mg ''no risk'' to me. I cited numerous studies and advocates within psychiatry in a slow reduction of SSRI medication in addition to the breach of NICE guidelines in my care. My document was even in tone, non personal, relevant and requested a full response to 14 points raised throughout.

 

I have just received the response. I underestimated how pitiful, lacking and uncaring it would be.

 

Hardly any of the points that I raised were addressed. Those that were were skimmed over in a way disrespectful to the time and effort I gave to this document to address not only failings in my care, but the care of others in my situation.

 

The solution? I have been removed from my GPs list, which the practice manager and my GP feels will 'spur me on' to register with a GP more locally who I can 'access'

 

Didn't I make it clear that I have (drug induced and intensified) agoraphobia, a recognised disability in law that is as restricting as any physical disability? I struggle to 'access' my shower currently, let alone venture out into the outside world to register with a new GP. I did. Repeatedly. My words fell on deaf, uncaring ears.

 

I am feeling... there are no words for what I am feeling. I have been drugged for almost 15 years without reason or due cause. These drugs have caused extensive harm to my sense of self, level of functioning, relationships and quality of life for more than a third of my life. When I have the insight to effect positive change by reducing slowly with a view to withdrawal, my prescribers make it as difficult as possible for me to tackle a knowingly horrendous journey and have disrupted it at every stage.

 

I am very angry. I feel that. I also feel justified in feeling so. I was raised to be polite and respect authority and elders. I apportion respect now only where and when it is due. Not to a system that re-traumatises the already traumatised and then blames them for the very presentations that manifest as a consequence of these drugs. I cherish deeply all that I hold dear, but, do not suffer fools gladly or tolerate injustice.

 

I currently feel a shell of the woman that I was. But somewhere within, even when I can't see it, there are qualities that push me through time and time again. I believe that these qualities from my old self are the ones that will remain and be the foundation for the emergence of a different person. One with a strength and sense of self that will not allow abusive treatment of me ever again. I will never give over my personal power to another person who has no interest in my well being.

 

My life and health is now in my hands. This would have scared me 6 months ago. Now it presents huge challenges, but much more choice and a degree of empowerment that I never had previously.

 

My inability to adapt to dysfunction throughout my life was never a sign of mental illness. It was a sign of mental well being, clarity and the need to live an authentic life.

 

I wish all healing and strength and love for yourself. You are in my thoughts and I am so grateful for this community.

 

Tilly x

[btdt]

It saddens me to see you come to this hurdle with optimism and have it shut down but many of us have and we are still here. While realizing the same as you we are the rulers of our care we struggle still with the unknowns ... still we continue. Wishing you peace in your struggle yes peace as it is in there... still perhaps it is what sustains you... looking forward to the day it presents itself outwardly for you to experience. 

B

[ten0275]

tilly,

 

your post made me very emotional. i am so sorry for everything you have experienced, and i am absolutely horrified, though not in the least bit surprised, at the response from the medical industrial establishment towards your thoughtfully constructed document. it literally made my knees wobble and my gut tighten.

 

you write with a composure, honesty, and strength that underscores your fortitude in the face of your own suffering. you are taking the pain to a place of compassion - both in how you speak with others here, and how you address your own wounded self.

 

i absolutely cannot wait until you heal. and you will. because your healing, our healing, and the way we move forward with our lives in the aftermath of pharmaceutical destruction, is an incredibly agile middle-finger-raised to those who harmed us. and my gut tells me that you have a penchant for advocacy that will resonate long after you've ascended your own personal everest.

 

hang in there, tilly. your post above is really amazing and due to some building neuroemotion, i needed the cry today anyhow.

 

dave

[Tilly]

It saddens me to see you come to this hurdle with optimism and have it shut down but many of us have and we are still here. While realizing the same as you we are the rulers of our care we struggle still with the unknowns ... still we continue. Wishing you peace in your struggle yes peace as it is in there... still perhaps it is what sustains you... looking forward to the day it presents itself outwardly for you to experience. 

B

Thank you B.

 

For the peace that you offer at the end of each post. It is soothing. I wish you the same in return.

 

Tilly x

[Tilly]

 

tilly,

 

your post made me very emotional. i am so sorry for everything you have experienced, and i am absolutely horrified, though not in the least bit surprised, at the response from the medical industrial establishment towards your thoughtfully constructed document. it literally made my knees wobble and my gut tighten.

 

you write with a composure, honesty, and strength that underscores your fortitude in the face of your own suffering. you are taking the pain to a place of compassion - both in how you speak with others here, and how you address your own wounded self.

 

i absolutely cannot wait until you heal. and you will. because your healing, our healing, and the way we move forward with our lives in the aftermath of pharmaceutical destruction, is an incredibly agile middle-finger-raised to those who harmed us. and my gut tells me that you have a penchant for advocacy that will resonate long after you've ascended your own personal everest.

 

hang in there, tilly. your post above is really amazing and due to some building neuroemotion, i needed the cry today anyhow.

 

dave

 

Dave,

 

Thank you. Until you posted, I believed that my inability to cry was due to medication. This has happened at intervals throughout my drugging. I felt immense pain upon the reading of my prescribers letters. The need to cry but no urge.

 

Upon reading your post, I was in floods of tears. Good tears. I recognised that the empathy that you showed to me was crucial in connecting with my feelings. 

 

Your empathy has both soothed my hurt and affirmed the very origins of it. Your post was a blessing to me today and has released a whole heap of emotions and flashbacks that are serving me well.

 

I too needed to cry today. Thank you for providing me with permission to. I am very grateful for your words and compassion.

 

Be kind to yourself. You are very much loved here. Rightly so.

 

I look forward to speaking again soon.

 

Tilly x

[LexAnger]

Hi Tilly,

 

I feel heartbroken seeing you going through so much!

Too much to comment on your writing, only with overwhelming admiration and respect to your grace, determination and strength!

 

Hope all will subside soon and you will see some lights!

My thought is always with you for who you are, a beautiful soul!

 

Stay strong as you always are and we will survive together!

 

Lex

[Tilly]

Tilly,

 

I'm sorry you're being faced with so much at once. WD alone is huge, never mind having it complicated by outward things as well.

 

Receiving is a very challenging thing for most of us, especially as women. We are conditioned to care for others and it's not easy to accept that same care back. I saw this so often in hospice work. We are also taught that everyone should be self-sufficient and not need anything from others. Most of us feel shame at needing anything from someone else, particularly around more basic needs.

 

I saw so much of this in hospice work; the reluctance on the part of the client that would most often change over time. There is something so beautiful when people are able to allow this kind of care. My wife was so gracious about receiving in the last part of her life. She was also one who had taken care of others and had a hard time accepting or receiving. But I feel this is one of the greatest gifts she gave me in that last year. She allowed herself to be vulnerable in ways she hadn't been able to before. Receiving can be a blessing for the person who is giving, as well as for the receiver.

 

I so hear you on not trusting doctors. I know there are some good ones out there. We met a couple during my wife's illness. But there are so many more who are completely removed from knowing their actions have consequences..often very serious ones. I hope then the timing is right, that you are able to find some exceptional practitioners to contribute towards your good health.

Free,

 

Your words and sharing are a blessing to me. Thank you so very much.

 

I can relate to and empathise with so much that you have expressed. I cannot form the comprehensive response that I feel right now in a response to the beauty of what you have shared, but I will in coming days / weeks as my recovery allows.

 

I just wanted you to know that your words and sharing hold such power for me. I value them greatly and hold both you and your experiences very close to my heart.

 

I do not know you in person, but know enough about you to value your courage, strength & spirit. 

 

Be well, my love. You are a shining star.

 

Tilly x

[bluebalu86]

"My inability to adapt to dysfunction throughout my life was never a sign of mental illness. It was a sign of mental well being, clarity and the need to live an authentic life."

 

Oh Tilly, you write so beautifully. I appreciate it even though I cannot respond with a similarly well written response, as I struggle with the English language. 

Your words touched me greatly and this sentence in particular resonates with me and I can find myself in it.

 

I wish all the best for you, you are amazing

I'm so sorry about what happened with the "response" to your letter... we must be the voice that makes a change in the system, but our words fall on deaf ears. I'm not surprised at all. At least you tried.

 

I wish you peace and healing my friend, be well and take care as best as you can, I will be stopping by to check on you and will be thinking of you and praying 

 

"Because your healing, our healing, and the way we move forward with our lives in the aftermath of pharmaceutical destruction, is an incredibly agile middle-finger-raised to those who harmed us." Hallelujah and Amen to that, Dave

[Tilly]

Hi Tilly,

 

I feel heartbroken seeing you going through so much!

Too much to comment on your writing, only with overwhelming admiration and respect to your grace, determination and strength!

 

Hope all will subside soon and you will see some lights!

My thought is always with you for who you are, a beautiful soul!

 

Stay strong as you always are and we will survive together!

 

Lex

Ah, my love and best friend 

 

Lex, you have seen me through the darkest of days and guided me through with care, compassion and such spirit. Thank you so very much. Your friendship is such a blessing and gift to me that we can share and enjoy beyond this journey. As a fellow traveller, I hope to met you often and spend many joyful times with you in the aftermath of all of this pain 

 

I believe that I have some pain yet to process that is coming to a head this evening. I can and will explain it better for my own self healing and that of others when I am better able to do so.

 

I am rocked to the very core this evening. Many abuses, traumas and hurts are surfacing. For the good of my healing, but very painful to process, nevertheless. I have cried so much but crying and the release it brings can be very healing.

 

I have a candle burning for us both this evening. To shine a light on our pain and heal it and bring into our life love, healing and many adventures to come, share and enjoy.

 

In the meantime the waves that we ride are a healing and learning process that will build our strength.

 

As always, I send you much love, healing and the snuggliest of hugs.

 

I love you, Lex and all that your friendship brings to me daily.

 

You are the family that I was never born into, but loves and cares for me beyond all I could have hoped for.

 

You are a blessing to me.

 

Tilly x

[Tilly]

"My inability to adapt to dysfunction throughout my life was never a sign of mental illness. It was a sign of mental well being, clarity and the need to live an authentic life."

 

Oh Tilly, you write so beautifully. I appreciate it even though I cannot respond with a similarly well written response, as I struggle with the English language. 

Your words touched me greatly and this sentence in particular resonates with me and I can find myself in it.

 

I wish all the best for you, you are amazing

I'm so sorry about what happened with the "response" to your letter... we must be the voice that makes a change in the system, but our words fall on deaf ears. I'm not surprised at all. At least you tried.

 

I wish you peace and healing my friend, be well and take care as best as you can, I will be stopping by to check on you and will be thinking of you and praying 

 

"Because your healing, our healing, and the way we move forward with our lives in the aftermath of pharmaceutical destruction, is an incredibly agile middle-finger-raised to those who harmed us." Hallelujah and Amen to that, Dave

Thank you so very much for your kind words, Blu. They are very touching to me and I hold them close to my heart.

 

I am not done yet. My healing is my priority right now. But my prescribers are not off the hook yet. I will continue to fight for justice for not only me, but all in my position who may not have the strength or information to self advocate.

 

I have a deep sense of love in my heart which values those people and values that I hold dear. I also have a strong sense of justice and intolerance of injustice. This is just the beginning of my fight. Fuelled by truth, knowledge, compassion and an understanding of dysfunctional systems including medicine and how they operate, I feel that a small but significant win for us all is well within my grasp. I will pursue it.

 

Wishing you much love from me and of yourself, healing and hugs.

 

You are not alone.

 

Tilly x

[Tilly]

The truth is I kept a roof over his head and provided for him. Financially and emotionally. He never worked in the 5 years I knew him. Or for many years before. His abuse of me is ongoing. Physical, mental and sexual. I hate it and him. I have to break free of this. I told him  to go tonight. He has kicked my door in and destroyed my home as he has done many times before.

 

He is still here. I am afraid. He has the power to destroy me by his words and actions.

 

How do I  get through this? Please help me.

 

I am very scared.

 

Tilly x

[brassmonkey]

Tilly-- protect yourself at all cost.  Leave the house and go to the police.  Kicking down your door and wrecking the house is an assault on you and is unacceptable.  If he injurers you in any manner he needs to be in jail.

 

Go now and get help. 

[Tilly]

[Tilly]

[Tilly]

Tilly-- protect yourself at all cost.  Leave the house and go to the police.  Kicking down your door and wrecking the house is an assault on you and is unacceptable.  If he injurers you in any manner he needs to be in jail.

 

Go now and get help. 

He did this so many times. I call the police. The police ask what medication I am on and do not proceed any further. He tells the am crazy and I have no recourse to safety or safeguarding.

 

He is hovering here. Trying to cuddle me after physical and verbal abuse. I do scream at him like I am an animal is the only way to keep him at bay. Words and discussion get me nowhere.

 

I am not an animal. I am a woman in distress with multiple incidents of trauma. He uses these to dis empower me. I have no recourse to help. I don't know how to safeguard myself as my medication invalidates me. As soon as I am off it there is no judgement on my ability to be a credible witness that can be made.

 

Until then, I am stuck with a man who I supported in a referral for anger management that did not work and he holds me accountable for that.

 

Plus he knows that I am agoraphobic. I cannot run to safety. He has a captive victim.

[Tilly]

I am so ashamed to share the mess of all of this here. I apologise. I had no where else to turn.

[AliG]

 Tilly, do not be ashamed or feel the need to apologize. You are in a horrendous situation at the moment and it's understandable to reach out to people who understand what you're going through to some degree, at least. Can you get a "restraining order" against this person, even if temporarily?  Is there a friend who can help?  Please let us know how you are going.  My thoughts are with you.

[brassmonkey]

Call these people tomorrow morning. 

 

http://www.womensaid.org.uk/

 

0808 2000 247

 

((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))

[btdt]

Given your agoraphobia I assume he does some banking may be a source of your fraud... just a thought be sure to change access... when you get the help you need elsewhere.

I wish you peace Tilly and safety.  

[LoveandLight]

I'm so sorry your going through this as well!!

 

Yes, please call women's aid for advice and support. Please let us know how you are. Do not be ashamed, what a horrendous situation to be in, not least in WD.

 

All the best to you xx

[AmyK]

Tilly. It's a good thing to reach out. I am so sorry you are in this horrible situation!

How are you today? Please call face to face help if you don't feel safe.

Many thoughts and hugs.

[bubble]

Dear Tilly, 

 

thank you for sharing this with us. We are all in all sorts of situations that make us feel ashamed and it's difficult to be open about them so this is very empowering.

 

Like other people here I would also warmly recommend that you also reach out to some face to face help and I'm glad somebody provided a useful contact.

 

You will beat this. You see things for what they are and this is a very important first step. I wish I knew of some support groups that help people with psychosocial issues. Maybe some other members from UK can help. I've only ever heard of Mind but not sure how good they are. I have a feeling people liek this would better understand the issues we face and wouldn't use it against us.

 

Please stay in touch.

 

Big hugs,

Bubble

[direstraits]

Oh Tilly-so scared for you-hoping & praying you'll be OK-you're such a kind,caring soul;you don't deserve this-my thoughts are with you-love to you xoxo

[freespirit]

Tilly,

 

The shame is not yours...but lies in the hands of those who abuse. I share the concern of others on here for your safety and well-being. You've shown such incredible determination through this process...I think this will help carry you through the next part of your journey. Please remember you have a community of people here, holding you with care and tenderness. Reaching out for help is a difficult thing; I hope you're able to find some local support. Holding you close in my heart.

[Purplestars22]

Tilly, so sorry you are going through this. Don't feel ashamed, you are courageous to share this and may help others. I wil pray for your well being to get the help you need to remove yourself from that individual. You will triumph in your tapering and personal life. You have such a kind, caring soul, admired here and deserve nothing but the best.