Moderator Emeritus mammaP Posted May 28, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted May 28, 2015 It does go away JWT, it will ease and you will get another window. I quit effexor at 1mg and had some hellish waves even after reinstating. Withdrawal is not dose related and can be as bad after quitting 1mg as it is quitting 40mg. Your brain has done some healing and is still trying to unravel the mess the drugs caused. I often think of a tangled head of hair, just a huge lump of knots and the brain trying to tease them all out. Sometimes it pulls and yanks and makes us squeal! The tangled mess will get straightened out, just hang in there and let your brain do it's work. Take care of yourself and treat yourself gently while it works. My guilty pastime at my worst was candy crush, spider solitair or online jigsaw puzzles. Things that didn't need thinking about but were distracting enough to prevent me from thinking about how horrendous life was. They got me through some tough days! **I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge. Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem) 1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat 2002 effexor. Tapered March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads. Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013 Restarted taper Nov 2013 OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015 Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014 Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg July 2017 30mg. May 15 2018 25mg Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33 Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible Link to comment
justwanttobefree Posted May 29, 2015 Author Share Posted May 29, 2015 Thank you mammap your words are very comforting but I'm in full crisis now. I had a meltdown at work and left my job, told my dad I will end it if I have to endure another day of this. He is flying up tonight. I have fought valiantly guys. I have put on a brave face, I have worked at my new job through this entire ordeal, I smile and hold back tears to my friends and family when inside I am screaming in agony. I am done now. I will lose my job and my marriage if I don't get better. I gave it 8 months of indescribable suffering. I need to go back on meds and I swear to god if I stabilize I will NEVER go off again until I die. Either it'll work or I'll die at the hands of these evil psych meds and doctors. I just can't go on. Diagnosed: Pure O Ocd, Severe Anxiety Disorder NOS, PMDD November 2009 - May 2013- CIPRALEX 20mg C/T off 20mg Cipralex Went into dark depression (never experienced before med) September 2013 - March 2014- PROZAC 20mg Weaned down to 10mg and held October 1st 2014 C/T off 10mg Prozac Protracted withdrawal - 8 months of the most horrific suffering imaginable June 1st 2015 - ZOLOFT 25mg June 26th 2015 - Dose increase to 50mg of Zoloft (taken at night after dinner). Slowly improving but still have severe OCD/ruminating, intense DP/DR, and brain fog. Just trying to stabilize at this point. Link to comment
Martina23 Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 And what about if you reinstate? It is better than to lose this time totally. I am sorry jwtbf. 05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free- symptoms OCD Link to comment
btdt Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 it is the nature of the beast just a reminder this is wd... WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
Theon Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 Hello JustWantToBeFree. I was also put on prozac for anxiety and obsessions and I am just a bit younger than you, so I think we have things in coomon. When my anxiety and obsessions came back after stopping prozac, I went through periods that I felt so bad that I really wanted to go back to the prozac because I couldn't cope more with that, followed for periods when I felt ok and I didn't want to go back on prozac. So my obsession at that time was checking my own state of mind and obsessing about whether going or not back to prozac. Summing that up with the exams that I had on january... ended on me being on prozac again. I don't know if you are going through something similar. If I was that bad with just a withdrawal coming for a period of 4 months of prozac... I can't imagina what you are going through. Just wanted to express my support and wish all the good to you. About me ------------------------ College student with a history of anxiety, excessive worrying and health anxiety. April 2014 - May 2015---------- Prozac 20mg On and Off. Second time on it I developed apathy, changes in personality, asexuality. May 2015 - July 2015----------------- Tappering off prozac. Still no feelings,anhedonia, apathy, no libido, asexuality. Current symptoms-------- pssd (asexuality in my case). Anxiety and depression developed some months afer stopping prozac, could have been caused by obsessing and beating myself up too much when I found myself unable to like girls again. The best thing to do with pssd (which in my case is asexuality) is accept it and move on. Link to comment
bluebalu86 Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 Oh just, I'm so sorry you are feeling like this. You are overwhelmed right now. I can't imagine how you've managed to work while going through withdrawal. You are a hero in my eyes. I couldn't work with anxiety and depression and now with withdrawal it's even worse. But if you go back on meds it means all these months of enduring all of this will be for nothing. What if you try to reinstate a tiny amount of the drug? Please think this through carefully, it's an important decision. I suffer from depression, anxiety, pure-o ocd, and panic attacks since 2004. Been on multiple different psychiatric drugs since 2006. Never had a significant WD problem before, only brain zaps for a month and then I'd be fine...............Been on Cipralex (escitalopram) 15 mg and Fluanxol (flupentixol) 1 mg since Sep 2014. Stopped taking the Cipralex after a fast 20-day taper.Took the last 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 5th, 2015. Then took Seroxat (paroxetine) 10 mg for a week, and stopped it too. Severe WD started suddenly on Feb 16th. RI 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 18th, 2015. RI worked and was relatively stable for a while................April 7 - decreased Fluanxol from 1 mg to 0.5 mg and took it at this dose for a week. - BIG MISTAKE; April 13 - WD starts creeping in; April 14 - RI full dose of Fluanxol 1 mg => severe muscle twitching and jerking when trying to relax and fall asleep, overwhelming sense of doom, dread, terror, and horror, insomnia, hoping to stabilize.Tried doing a 10% cut off Fluanxol in the end of May for a few days, but quickly updosed to full dose because the twitching returned.Experiencing waves and windows in the following months.Unsuccessful brief taper attempt of Fluanxol by 5% on November 1st. Symptoms hit the next day. Too scared to continue tapering, reinstate full dose.Severe crash in November after stupidly trying a barbiturate on November 9th. Grave mistake. Sense of unshakable inescapable internal torture, like my soul is in hell being tortured, terror/horror/dread/doom (probably akathisia?) that gets especially bad when trying to relax and fall asleep, muscles twitch, jerk and move on their own, shaking, insomnia, can't eat, confusion, disorientation, brain not working normally. Never felt so bad in my entire life. Never experiment with other meds while in WD! Praying to God I stabilize and get back to my baseline.December - things getting even worse. January - unbearable suffering Link to comment
Laura1981 Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 ((((( Just )))) Sending you lots of hugs! I know how meltdowns at work feel like the end, everything is over and there's no way to continue. I had that too at some stage in my life and now I kinda have it again since I've been out for almost 4 months because of this crappy medication. In a year or two none of this will matter. You'll be better, this phase will be behind you and you'll have a beautiful life. It's worth the fight. I would say don't re-instate right now. Wait until you're a bit recovered from the shock. Just so that you can make the decision cool headed. Do you have to work? Is there no way to first recover and then get back to work? You're a hero for having worked during withdrawal. I would die if I had to do that. Feb 2015 Took venlafaxine for 5 days only... experienced withdrawal that made me completely non-functional Mar 2015 took under 1mg of Sertraline for 10 days in an attempt to combat Venlafaxine withdrawal. Got adverse reactions. After stopping Sertraline, withdrawal got much worse. New, horrific symptoms. June 2015 Still non-functional but slowly getting better. Still brain zaps, migraines, sweating, heart racing, depression, crying spells September 2015: 24/7 brain zaps, twitches in the face, no concentration, bad memory, language skills deteriorating. Profile feed: http://goo.gl/3g2GRn Sign this petition for a blackbox warning on Prozac in Ireland: https://www.change.org/p/leo-varadakar-hpra-the-lack-of-a-blackbox-warning-on-prozac-in-ireland-and-its-use-by-the-hse-in-under-18-s?recruiter=63289046&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=share_for_starters_page&utm_term=des-lg-no_src-no_msg Link to comment
shelby Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 You are working? Thats huge! I cant even leave my house. 40 year old male - First panic attack in May 2012 May 2012 Atenolol (beta blocker)25mg, Ativan 2mg August 2012 Rapid taper ativan, started zoloft 25mg Dec 2012... rapid taper zoloft, January 2013 Xanax 1mg for 1 month February 2013 Klonopin 1mg April 2013 to May 2013 Rapid Taper Klonopin to 0.5mg June 10th 2013 jumped from 0.5 Kpin and Atenolol 25mg July 2013 two days of Ativan 1mg b/c of hospital visit September 2013 started Effexor 75mg (this was a mistake i think) July 2014 to October 2014 tapered off Effexor... July 2015 - Reinstated zoloft 50mg Link to comment
LoveandLight Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 Just please please remember about reinstating guidelines as this site.. Maybe try just 1mg or even 0.5mg? It's up to you but I would hate to see you having a bad reaction to reinstatement. All the best xxxx 2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare! On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect. Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan. Nightmare that could have been avoided! Link to comment
justwanttobefree Posted June 2, 2015 Author Share Posted June 2, 2015 I was never like everyone on this site. I was put on these meds for SEVERE harm OCD / anxiety and without a doubt they did their job. They 100% worked for me. I never hit poop out, I never had unbearable side effects (excluding extreme weight gain) and overall my life was happy and satisfying on them. I never should have cold turkeyed and in reality I just never should have tried to go off at all. What i have suffered in the past 8 months is beyond all human comprehension. Indescribable searing psychological agony. Horror and terror so deep that I will never forget it until the day I die. I watched my life end before my very eyes and now I am on my way to getting it back. I have to say that this site has a lot of helpful advice and guidelines but it can also be poisonous and it intensified my despair 10x over. Everyone talking about their adverse reactions and failed reinstatements scared me so badly that I almost ended my life from the complete hopelessness. I felt like I was between a rock and a hard place, that if I tried to go back on an SSRI I would develop PGAD, akathasia, or some other hideous reaction. It's bulls#*t. I started 25mg Zoloft and I am completely fine except for a bit of fatigue/dizziness. You guys need to realize that these drugs have their purpose and they have saved millions of lives. I can honestly say after what I have been through the past 8 months I am going to stabilize on these meds and i will never try to go off of them again. I'd rather spend the rest of my life medicated, then end my life unmedicated. Diagnosed: Pure O Ocd, Severe Anxiety Disorder NOS, PMDD November 2009 - May 2013- CIPRALEX 20mg C/T off 20mg Cipralex Went into dark depression (never experienced before med) September 2013 - March 2014- PROZAC 20mg Weaned down to 10mg and held October 1st 2014 C/T off 10mg Prozac Protracted withdrawal - 8 months of the most horrific suffering imaginable June 1st 2015 - ZOLOFT 25mg June 26th 2015 - Dose increase to 50mg of Zoloft (taken at night after dinner). Slowly improving but still have severe OCD/ruminating, intense DP/DR, and brain fog. Just trying to stabilize at this point. Link to comment
Laura1981 Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 Hey Just, I'm so glad this worked for your and you're feeling better. Will you keep us posted on how you're doing? I would love to hear how things are going occasionally. Cheers, Laura Feb 2015 Took venlafaxine for 5 days only... experienced withdrawal that made me completely non-functional Mar 2015 took under 1mg of Sertraline for 10 days in an attempt to combat Venlafaxine withdrawal. Got adverse reactions. After stopping Sertraline, withdrawal got much worse. New, horrific symptoms. June 2015 Still non-functional but slowly getting better. Still brain zaps, migraines, sweating, heart racing, depression, crying spells September 2015: 24/7 brain zaps, twitches in the face, no concentration, bad memory, language skills deteriorating. Profile feed: http://goo.gl/3g2GRn Sign this petition for a blackbox warning on Prozac in Ireland: https://www.change.org/p/leo-varadakar-hpra-the-lack-of-a-blackbox-warning-on-prozac-in-ireland-and-its-use-by-the-hse-in-under-18-s?recruiter=63289046&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=share_for_starters_page&utm_term=des-lg-no_src-no_msg Link to comment
bluebalu86 Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 Hi just I was put on the meds for very severe and debilitating anxiety, depression and panic attacks. On some of the meds I was a little, only a little more functional, but overall they didn't help that much and had very bad side effects which I put up with because I was convinced by the doctors I am very ill and need the meds. I suffer from depression, anxiety, pure-o ocd, and panic attacks since 2004. Been on multiple different psychiatric drugs since 2006. Never had a significant WD problem before, only brain zaps for a month and then I'd be fine...............Been on Cipralex (escitalopram) 15 mg and Fluanxol (flupentixol) 1 mg since Sep 2014. Stopped taking the Cipralex after a fast 20-day taper.Took the last 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 5th, 2015. Then took Seroxat (paroxetine) 10 mg for a week, and stopped it too. Severe WD started suddenly on Feb 16th. RI 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 18th, 2015. RI worked and was relatively stable for a while................April 7 - decreased Fluanxol from 1 mg to 0.5 mg and took it at this dose for a week. - BIG MISTAKE; April 13 - WD starts creeping in; April 14 - RI full dose of Fluanxol 1 mg => severe muscle twitching and jerking when trying to relax and fall asleep, overwhelming sense of doom, dread, terror, and horror, insomnia, hoping to stabilize.Tried doing a 10% cut off Fluanxol in the end of May for a few days, but quickly updosed to full dose because the twitching returned.Experiencing waves and windows in the following months.Unsuccessful brief taper attempt of Fluanxol by 5% on November 1st. Symptoms hit the next day. Too scared to continue tapering, reinstate full dose.Severe crash in November after stupidly trying a barbiturate on November 9th. Grave mistake. Sense of unshakable inescapable internal torture, like my soul is in hell being tortured, terror/horror/dread/doom (probably akathisia?) that gets especially bad when trying to relax and fall asleep, muscles twitch, jerk and move on their own, shaking, insomnia, can't eat, confusion, disorientation, brain not working normally. Never felt so bad in my entire life. Never experiment with other meds while in WD! Praying to God I stabilize and get back to my baseline.December - things getting even worse. January - unbearable suffering Link to comment
Laura1981 Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 Me, I was put on the meds because of a burnout from the stress of studying, working full time, long term workplace psycho-terror and personal trouble. Retrospectively, I should have just quit my job and taken a break. Feb 2015 Took venlafaxine for 5 days only... experienced withdrawal that made me completely non-functional Mar 2015 took under 1mg of Sertraline for 10 days in an attempt to combat Venlafaxine withdrawal. Got adverse reactions. After stopping Sertraline, withdrawal got much worse. New, horrific symptoms. June 2015 Still non-functional but slowly getting better. Still brain zaps, migraines, sweating, heart racing, depression, crying spells September 2015: 24/7 brain zaps, twitches in the face, no concentration, bad memory, language skills deteriorating. Profile feed: http://goo.gl/3g2GRn Sign this petition for a blackbox warning on Prozac in Ireland: https://www.change.org/p/leo-varadakar-hpra-the-lack-of-a-blackbox-warning-on-prozac-in-ireland-and-its-use-by-the-hse-in-under-18-s?recruiter=63289046&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=share_for_starters_page&utm_term=des-lg-no_src-no_msg Link to comment
bluebalu86 Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 Yes, I think I would have made great progress with a good therapist. I was so young and scared and needed help and some attention and care, not to be medicated... I was only 18 when I got sick with anxiety and depression. I suffer from depression, anxiety, pure-o ocd, and panic attacks since 2004. Been on multiple different psychiatric drugs since 2006. Never had a significant WD problem before, only brain zaps for a month and then I'd be fine...............Been on Cipralex (escitalopram) 15 mg and Fluanxol (flupentixol) 1 mg since Sep 2014. Stopped taking the Cipralex after a fast 20-day taper.Took the last 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 5th, 2015. Then took Seroxat (paroxetine) 10 mg for a week, and stopped it too. Severe WD started suddenly on Feb 16th. RI 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 18th, 2015. RI worked and was relatively stable for a while................April 7 - decreased Fluanxol from 1 mg to 0.5 mg and took it at this dose for a week. - BIG MISTAKE; April 13 - WD starts creeping in; April 14 - RI full dose of Fluanxol 1 mg => severe muscle twitching and jerking when trying to relax and fall asleep, overwhelming sense of doom, dread, terror, and horror, insomnia, hoping to stabilize.Tried doing a 10% cut off Fluanxol in the end of May for a few days, but quickly updosed to full dose because the twitching returned.Experiencing waves and windows in the following months.Unsuccessful brief taper attempt of Fluanxol by 5% on November 1st. Symptoms hit the next day. Too scared to continue tapering, reinstate full dose.Severe crash in November after stupidly trying a barbiturate on November 9th. Grave mistake. Sense of unshakable inescapable internal torture, like my soul is in hell being tortured, terror/horror/dread/doom (probably akathisia?) that gets especially bad when trying to relax and fall asleep, muscles twitch, jerk and move on their own, shaking, insomnia, can't eat, confusion, disorientation, brain not working normally. Never felt so bad in my entire life. Never experiment with other meds while in WD! Praying to God I stabilize and get back to my baseline.December - things getting even worse. January - unbearable suffering Link to comment
Skylarblue75 Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 Just ,I wish you all the best. Spring of 1998 place on birth control pills for irregular bleeding, high testosterone and one ovarian cyst, stayed on until April 2004, told to take hormone holiday, conceived first son 4 months later-VERY BIG SUPRISE, was told wouldn't be able to have childern or would need reproductive doctor to help. Got pregnant again 2006 with second son easily, then was on/off birthcontrol again until October 2011, concieved 3rd son in October 2011(tried many times to get pregant again when 2nd child was close to 2yrs, hormone problems started again after 2nd child, along with thyroid enlargement. Spring of 2001 celexa 10 mgs-rx'd by pcp for complaints of chronic fatigue, irritability and weight gain, stayed on until June 2005, switched to Lexapro 20mgs for PPD, stayed on Lexapro 6-7 months, couldn't afford to see psyh dr. and Lexapro, saw PCP switched back to 20mgs celexa in 2007, remained on until November 2011, was c/t off due to 3rd pregnancy, baby had umbilical cord defect, seemed ok during pregnancy, except for crying jags here and there. Our miracle baby was born July 20th 2012, healthy except with reflux. One month later the anxiety,restlessness,horrible crying, insomnia and the deepest depression ever. That started the psyh drug nightmare-benzo's,antidepressants, sleeping pills, mood stablizers. Nothing help made me worse, doctors just kept changing the meds frequently. 4 mental health hospitalizations, rapid detox off benzos Jan 2013, horrible withdrawal and still suffering withdrawal symptoms NO ONE BELIEVES ME, I feel like ive been on one consistant drug withdrawal for the past 2 years January 2014 slow titrate up of lexapro to 20 mgs-horrible side effects!!, was just rapidly taper by current pysh off to pursade me to try an MAOI-no way!!! Was told should consider ECT Link to comment
Muddles Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 I pleased you have found something to ease your pain. Just remeber though - everyone on here were only looking out for you. So many times I have seen adverse effects from people going back on something. I'm relieved for you. like Laura - I didn't need meds and needed to quit my job. If I had known then what I know now I never would have touched them. However, if someone could give me a pill now that would give me back some kind of life...I would. Even if it was just for a few years so I could bring up my children. 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
shelby Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 I was thinking about this also (zoloft even) but my wife will not support it. She says because its because i will want to just come off later and start this all over again. Let us know how it goes for you. Thanks for all your support. 40 year old male - First panic attack in May 2012 May 2012 Atenolol (beta blocker)25mg, Ativan 2mg August 2012 Rapid taper ativan, started zoloft 25mg Dec 2012... rapid taper zoloft, January 2013 Xanax 1mg for 1 month February 2013 Klonopin 1mg April 2013 to May 2013 Rapid Taper Klonopin to 0.5mg June 10th 2013 jumped from 0.5 Kpin and Atenolol 25mg July 2013 two days of Ativan 1mg b/c of hospital visit September 2013 started Effexor 75mg (this was a mistake i think) July 2014 to October 2014 tapered off Effexor... July 2015 - Reinstated zoloft 50mg Link to comment
Frustrated Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 You don't need to justify any of your decisions. You have to do what feels right to you. If someone had a pill to give me back my life I honestly think I may just take it. I hope and pray that this works for you and you are able to enjoy your life. Keep us posted. 2002-put on amitryptiline for fibromyalgia. 10mg.2004-stopped abruptly. Didn't think it helped.2006 approx.-put on Paxil for mild anxiety 20 mg.2007 upped to 40 mg. not sure why.2011- tapered from 40 to 10. went nuts and went back to 20mg2014- tapered from 20mg to 0 from April to The end of June.current meds- Metformin(type 2 diabetic) and low dose aspirin.Take multi vitamin and vit b12, vit. D and magnesium. 5 months off Paxil. Still suffering.recently added 1.2mg of Paxil to alleviate withdrawals.(Nov 30)Dropped to .9mg because having symptoms from reinstatement.(dec 23)<p>taper to .76mg-.8mg (Feb 3) approx. weight .010 to about .008-.009 on scale..6mg (march 19th.) .5mg(April 19th).4mg(April 27th).2 (June 27th) 0mg. done taper at beginning of August. Link to comment
shelby Posted June 6, 2015 Share Posted June 6, 2015 How are you doing just? 40 year old male - First panic attack in May 2012 May 2012 Atenolol (beta blocker)25mg, Ativan 2mg August 2012 Rapid taper ativan, started zoloft 25mg Dec 2012... rapid taper zoloft, January 2013 Xanax 1mg for 1 month February 2013 Klonopin 1mg April 2013 to May 2013 Rapid Taper Klonopin to 0.5mg June 10th 2013 jumped from 0.5 Kpin and Atenolol 25mg July 2013 two days of Ativan 1mg b/c of hospital visit September 2013 started Effexor 75mg (this was a mistake i think) July 2014 to October 2014 tapered off Effexor... July 2015 - Reinstated zoloft 50mg Link to comment
justwanttobefree Posted June 6, 2015 Author Share Posted June 6, 2015 I'm doing better Shelby, day 6 of Zoloft today and I can feel my mood lifting a bit. The OCD is quieting down as well. It's going to be a long road though for me to get comfortable taking medication again. SA firmly implanted in my brain that SSRIs are evil poison that are going to ruin my life which I understand they did to a lot of people on here. I should have gone back on them way sooner but instead I tried to wait out the "withdrawal" and it was severely traumatic for me. I'm struggling to accept that I feel better and am going to be okay and live a normal life. Diagnosed: Pure O Ocd, Severe Anxiety Disorder NOS, PMDD November 2009 - May 2013- CIPRALEX 20mg C/T off 20mg Cipralex Went into dark depression (never experienced before med) September 2013 - March 2014- PROZAC 20mg Weaned down to 10mg and held October 1st 2014 C/T off 10mg Prozac Protracted withdrawal - 8 months of the most horrific suffering imaginable June 1st 2015 - ZOLOFT 25mg June 26th 2015 - Dose increase to 50mg of Zoloft (taken at night after dinner). Slowly improving but still have severe OCD/ruminating, intense DP/DR, and brain fog. Just trying to stabilize at this point. Link to comment
shelby Posted June 6, 2015 Share Posted June 6, 2015 How is the brain fog and memory? Im considering reinstating also 40 year old male - First panic attack in May 2012 May 2012 Atenolol (beta blocker)25mg, Ativan 2mg August 2012 Rapid taper ativan, started zoloft 25mg Dec 2012... rapid taper zoloft, January 2013 Xanax 1mg for 1 month February 2013 Klonopin 1mg April 2013 to May 2013 Rapid Taper Klonopin to 0.5mg June 10th 2013 jumped from 0.5 Kpin and Atenolol 25mg July 2013 two days of Ativan 1mg b/c of hospital visit September 2013 started Effexor 75mg (this was a mistake i think) July 2014 to October 2014 tapered off Effexor... July 2015 - Reinstated zoloft 50mg Link to comment
direstraits Posted June 6, 2015 Share Posted June 6, 2015 I'm glad you're feeling better,just we have to do what is best for us-good luck went on Prozac 1994-99,60mg.poopout ct back on 2001-2002,prozac weekly 2002,not working,Effexor 75 mg.?2003-mar.2004 gaining weight 8wk. taper,wellbutrin 150 mg.mar. -may 2004 ctmedfree til july 2005 back to Prozac gaining weight again,back on wellbutrin jan.2006150-300 mg.bad constipation.also was taking aygestin(hormone)perimenopausal irregular bleeding.back on Prozac around sept,?2006,hysterectomy jan30.2007(adenomyosis)off&on Prozac til 2009,citalopram about 1 mo, April 2010 no effect,Effexor again may -mar, 2011.ct,Prozac aug,-dec, 2011 &sept-nov 2012,paroxetine oct,23 2013-may 4 2014 20 mgs.tapered 6 wks.-failed RI in Oct.2014-in protracted WD.started 10 mgs. Fluoxetine May 25 2021 .Stopped fluoxetine May 2022 at 5 mgs. Link to comment
justwanttobefree Posted June 15, 2015 Author Share Posted June 15, 2015 The brain fog is gone and my memory is starting to come back. The most important thing is I have my life back. I am functioning well at work, cleaning my house, loving my husband, and had a taste of pure pleasure today while listening to a song. I don't feel drugged or any other side effect. I feel like the 8 months off the drugs I was losing myself and now I'm waking up from a nightmare. Some people truly need medication and I guess I am one of them. I just had to learn the lesson the hard way. Diagnosed: Pure O Ocd, Severe Anxiety Disorder NOS, PMDD November 2009 - May 2013- CIPRALEX 20mg C/T off 20mg Cipralex Went into dark depression (never experienced before med) September 2013 - March 2014- PROZAC 20mg Weaned down to 10mg and held October 1st 2014 C/T off 10mg Prozac Protracted withdrawal - 8 months of the most horrific suffering imaginable June 1st 2015 - ZOLOFT 25mg June 26th 2015 - Dose increase to 50mg of Zoloft (taken at night after dinner). Slowly improving but still have severe OCD/ruminating, intense DP/DR, and brain fog. Just trying to stabilize at this point. Link to comment
clearday Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 So glad to hear you're feeling better. Protracted withdrawal often lasts for years and can be unbearable. Fighting through withdrawal for so long, until healing comes, is traumatic. Great to hear that your reinstatement on an SSRI is reducing your withdrawal symptoms; that's what reinstatement is for. Persistent brain fog and lack of emotion are such common WD symptoms. I had them during Prozac WD too; I never had that before Prozac. It's thanks to Prozac WD that I went through years of brain fog and lack of emotion. I'm so glad that I healed from what Prozac did to me! We always say that the only known way to reduce WD effects - other than riding it out until healing happens - is to reinstate on the drug. We also say that sometimes reinstatement works, and sometimes it doesn't. I wish everyone who reinstated on here felt better as you do. Sadly, we see how often reinstatement makes things worse for people. I'm so happy for you, I know how hard it has been for you. No matter what, let us know how you're doing - Hell hath no fury as an SSRI scorned..... Prozac: 20 mg 1996 – May 2003 CT to 0 mg; by Aug 03 CRASH then protracted WD 3 yrs Zoloft: 2004 few weeks;, CT to 0 mg Effexor: 2005 few months CT to 0 mg; bad withdrawal. Lexapro: 10 mg from 2009 – 2011; cut dose in half to: Lexapro: 5 mg from 2011 – Feb. 2014; CT to 0 mg; 2 months of fatigue, followed by:Aug - Oct 2014 Lexapro WD Insomnia Wave; sleeping very good from Nov 2014 - Nov 2015; broken sleep pattern Dec 2015 - Jan 2016 Dec 2014 - present: Brutal Lexapro WD ear ringing/head ringing/head pressure lasting for 14 months now. 24 months SSRI-free Link to comment
justwanttobefree Posted June 16, 2015 Author Share Posted June 16, 2015 Thank you so much clearday <3 Maybe I'm not as strong as everyone else because I could not tolerate it another second. Jesus. I can't even fathom how a person could suffer like that for a year or longer. I have nothing but respect for each and every one of you. The problem with what I went through is I don't even know if it was WD or my original condition. I didn't have pain or zaps or insomnia or anything else (maybe once or twice throughout the whole ordeal) so it didn't even feel like WD. I just had the most debilitating depression/anxiety of my life and I obsessed about it 24/7. I doubt I ever would have gotten better because I had no tools to cope with my original condition. I'm still uneasy putting the Zoloft in my mouth every day but I'm 2 weeks on as of today and seem to be improving ???? Diagnosed: Pure O Ocd, Severe Anxiety Disorder NOS, PMDD November 2009 - May 2013- CIPRALEX 20mg C/T off 20mg Cipralex Went into dark depression (never experienced before med) September 2013 - March 2014- PROZAC 20mg Weaned down to 10mg and held October 1st 2014 C/T off 10mg Prozac Protracted withdrawal - 8 months of the most horrific suffering imaginable June 1st 2015 - ZOLOFT 25mg June 26th 2015 - Dose increase to 50mg of Zoloft (taken at night after dinner). Slowly improving but still have severe OCD/ruminating, intense DP/DR, and brain fog. Just trying to stabilize at this point. Link to comment
clearday Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 I'm just happy you're feeling better right now. No one knows how hard it was for you, only you do. I'm sure it was brutal, there's no doubt about that. I always like hearing about a successful reinstatement; it always saddens me when it doesn't work for someone. IMO - from what I read on your post, other posts, and my own experience, I do think that you were mired in difficult protracted SSRI WD, perhaps also your original condition too. I never had brain zaps or insomnia from Prozac WD either. My main WD symptoms were chronic fatigue, brain fog, lack of emotion, and sensitivity to light. For a couple years. It never seemed to budge. But even when we do heal from those WD symptoms - which can take a few years - like you said, we still have to deal with our original condition. For many people, these medications are very helpful, and they are happy on them. Good for them, really, I wish them all the best. I have a few loved ones on these meds, they are well now, and I REALLY hope they continue to do well. I keep my fingers crossed. But they all know where to come if their meds stop working, or if they want to taper off - they will come here. Hell hath no fury as an SSRI scorned..... Prozac: 20 mg 1996 – May 2003 CT to 0 mg; by Aug 03 CRASH then protracted WD 3 yrs Zoloft: 2004 few weeks;, CT to 0 mg Effexor: 2005 few months CT to 0 mg; bad withdrawal. Lexapro: 10 mg from 2009 – 2011; cut dose in half to: Lexapro: 5 mg from 2011 – Feb. 2014; CT to 0 mg; 2 months of fatigue, followed by:Aug - Oct 2014 Lexapro WD Insomnia Wave; sleeping very good from Nov 2014 - Nov 2015; broken sleep pattern Dec 2015 - Jan 2016 Dec 2014 - present: Brutal Lexapro WD ear ringing/head ringing/head pressure lasting for 14 months now. 24 months SSRI-free Link to comment
shelby Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 I took effexor becaus of benzo withdrawal. It helped my anxiety and imminent death feeling but it never took away the brain fog and gave me horrendously sinister dreams. 40 year old male - First panic attack in May 2012 May 2012 Atenolol (beta blocker)25mg, Ativan 2mg August 2012 Rapid taper ativan, started zoloft 25mg Dec 2012... rapid taper zoloft, January 2013 Xanax 1mg for 1 month February 2013 Klonopin 1mg April 2013 to May 2013 Rapid Taper Klonopin to 0.5mg June 10th 2013 jumped from 0.5 Kpin and Atenolol 25mg July 2013 two days of Ativan 1mg b/c of hospital visit September 2013 started Effexor 75mg (this was a mistake i think) July 2014 to October 2014 tapered off Effexor... July 2015 - Reinstated zoloft 50mg Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Addax Posted June 17, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted June 17, 2015 Maybe I'm not as strong as everyone else because I could not tolerate it another second. You're strong. You endured a great deal for as long as you were able. There comes a point when we must decide what we are willing to tolerate and for how long And at what cost. I reached my limit at three months at which point I decided I wasn't willing to sacrifice any longer. I'm still uneasy putting the Zoloft in my mouth every day but I'm 2 weeks on as of today and seem to be improving It does feel like going backwards. I felt that way too and initially questioned my decision to reinstate. In the end it worked for me and I'm glad I did it. It sounds like it's working for you. I decided to start tapering again approaching it with even more caution this time. So far so great. Maybe you will decide in the future to try tapering again... or maybe you won't. Either way you have survived a hell many will never know and have undoubtably come away even stronger than you were. I'm very glad you are feeling better. Yay! 1988-2012: Prozac @ 60mg (with a few stops and starts) Fall 2012: Returned to 40mg after discontinuing and horrid withdrawal Fall 2013: 40mg Fluoxetine, added 150mg Wellbutrin to treat fatigue Winter 2014: Attempting to taper both (too fast) April 2014: 9mg Fluoxetine + 37.5 Wellbutrin Summer 2014: 8 mg Fluoxetine + 0 Wellbutrin (way too fast a drop) Late summer/Early Fall 2014: Debilitating Withdrawal symptoms Fall 2014 - Wellbutrin successfully kicked to the curb but… Oct- Dec 2014: Panicked reinstatement of Fluoxetine ->30mg - held for 5yrs Jan 2021: taper to 20mg Fluoxetine then tapering by 1mg every 2-3 months Fall 2022 - held at 10mg->December 2022: 9mg->Feb 2023: 8mg ->March 2023: brassmonkey slide begins: 7.8mg -> 7.6 -> 7.4->2 week hold (April)->7.2->7mg->6.8->2 week hold->6.6-> 1-month hold ->(June)-6.5->4-week hold-> (July)-6.4 (discontinued brassmonkey slide and slowed taper)-> (Aug)-6.2->(Sept)-6.0->(Oct)-5.9->(Nov)-5.8->(Dec)-5.7->wave!->(Jan)-5.8->(Feb)-6mg and holding. My 2014 withdrawal experience: https://rxisk.org/antidepressant-withdrawal-a-prozac-story/ Link to comment
bluebalu86 Posted June 17, 2015 Share Posted June 17, 2015 Hi Just I'm glad you're feeling better and found a way to decrease your pain and suffering It seems like you're stabilizing, I hope the new meds continue to work well for you in the future. Keep us posted on your progress. Best wishes I suffer from depression, anxiety, pure-o ocd, and panic attacks since 2004. Been on multiple different psychiatric drugs since 2006. Never had a significant WD problem before, only brain zaps for a month and then I'd be fine...............Been on Cipralex (escitalopram) 15 mg and Fluanxol (flupentixol) 1 mg since Sep 2014. Stopped taking the Cipralex after a fast 20-day taper.Took the last 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 5th, 2015. Then took Seroxat (paroxetine) 10 mg for a week, and stopped it too. Severe WD started suddenly on Feb 16th. RI 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 18th, 2015. RI worked and was relatively stable for a while................April 7 - decreased Fluanxol from 1 mg to 0.5 mg and took it at this dose for a week. - BIG MISTAKE; April 13 - WD starts creeping in; April 14 - RI full dose of Fluanxol 1 mg => severe muscle twitching and jerking when trying to relax and fall asleep, overwhelming sense of doom, dread, terror, and horror, insomnia, hoping to stabilize.Tried doing a 10% cut off Fluanxol in the end of May for a few days, but quickly updosed to full dose because the twitching returned.Experiencing waves and windows in the following months.Unsuccessful brief taper attempt of Fluanxol by 5% on November 1st. Symptoms hit the next day. Too scared to continue tapering, reinstate full dose.Severe crash in November after stupidly trying a barbiturate on November 9th. Grave mistake. Sense of unshakable inescapable internal torture, like my soul is in hell being tortured, terror/horror/dread/doom (probably akathisia?) that gets especially bad when trying to relax and fall asleep, muscles twitch, jerk and move on their own, shaking, insomnia, can't eat, confusion, disorientation, brain not working normally. Never felt so bad in my entire life. Never experiment with other meds while in WD! Praying to God I stabilize and get back to my baseline.December - things getting even worse. January - unbearable suffering Link to comment
Laura1981 Posted June 17, 2015 Share Posted June 17, 2015 Sending a hug to Just! So glad you're feeling better and you have your life back. :-) Feb 2015 Took venlafaxine for 5 days only... experienced withdrawal that made me completely non-functional Mar 2015 took under 1mg of Sertraline for 10 days in an attempt to combat Venlafaxine withdrawal. Got adverse reactions. After stopping Sertraline, withdrawal got much worse. New, horrific symptoms. June 2015 Still non-functional but slowly getting better. Still brain zaps, migraines, sweating, heart racing, depression, crying spells September 2015: 24/7 brain zaps, twitches in the face, no concentration, bad memory, language skills deteriorating. Profile feed: http://goo.gl/3g2GRn Sign this petition for a blackbox warning on Prozac in Ireland: https://www.change.org/p/leo-varadakar-hpra-the-lack-of-a-blackbox-warning-on-prozac-in-ireland-and-its-use-by-the-hse-in-under-18-s?recruiter=63289046&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=share_for_starters_page&utm_term=des-lg-no_src-no_msg Link to comment
btdt Posted June 17, 2015 Share Posted June 17, 2015 I'm doing better Shelby, day 6 of Zoloft today and I can feel my mood lifting a bit. The OCD is quieting down as well. It's going to be a long road though for me to get comfortable taking medication again. SA firmly implanted in my brain that SSRIs are evil poison that are going to ruin my life which I understand they did to a lot of people on here. I should have gone back on them way sooner but instead I tried to wait out the "withdrawal" and it was severely traumatic for me. I'm struggling to accept that I feel better and am going to be okay and live a normal life. You know better now when you know better you do better. I am glad you feeling better and if you feel ready to try and get off meds again you will know how to do it right and where to get support. peace WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
justwanttobefree Posted June 20, 2015 Author Share Posted June 20, 2015 Thank you guys so much for your support <3 It's not all good, still having my OCD thoughts and some anxiety but overall I'm 80% better. I am still so traumatized from the WD that every time I have a symptom from before I think I'm going straight back down into the pits of hell. I don't know if I can ever get over it. Diagnosed: Pure O Ocd, Severe Anxiety Disorder NOS, PMDD November 2009 - May 2013- CIPRALEX 20mg C/T off 20mg Cipralex Went into dark depression (never experienced before med) September 2013 - March 2014- PROZAC 20mg Weaned down to 10mg and held October 1st 2014 C/T off 10mg Prozac Protracted withdrawal - 8 months of the most horrific suffering imaginable June 1st 2015 - ZOLOFT 25mg June 26th 2015 - Dose increase to 50mg of Zoloft (taken at night after dinner). Slowly improving but still have severe OCD/ruminating, intense DP/DR, and brain fog. Just trying to stabilize at this point. Link to comment
clearday Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 Glad to hear you are feeling a lot better. Ugh, this stuff is brutal, no doubt about it - We have to process "post-traumatic stress" to some degree or other after we feel better - http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9261-feeling-traumatized-by-the-wd-experience/ Technically, IMO, it's not "PTSD" unless it seriously affects our ability to function. I have a negative visceral reaction to the word "psychiatrist" or when I see TV commercials advertising medications of all kinds. I certainly now view doctors in an overall negative light, after what they've put me through. But I don't have PTSD because of it. Hell hath no fury as an SSRI scorned..... Prozac: 20 mg 1996 – May 2003 CT to 0 mg; by Aug 03 CRASH then protracted WD 3 yrs Zoloft: 2004 few weeks;, CT to 0 mg Effexor: 2005 few months CT to 0 mg; bad withdrawal. Lexapro: 10 mg from 2009 – 2011; cut dose in half to: Lexapro: 5 mg from 2011 – Feb. 2014; CT to 0 mg; 2 months of fatigue, followed by:Aug - Oct 2014 Lexapro WD Insomnia Wave; sleeping very good from Nov 2014 - Nov 2015; broken sleep pattern Dec 2015 - Jan 2016 Dec 2014 - present: Brutal Lexapro WD ear ringing/head ringing/head pressure lasting for 14 months now. 24 months SSRI-free Link to comment
shelby Posted July 16, 2015 Share Posted July 16, 2015 Hey Just, How are you doing now? I reinstated also. I'm at 50mg of zoloft. 40 year old male - First panic attack in May 2012 May 2012 Atenolol (beta blocker)25mg, Ativan 2mg August 2012 Rapid taper ativan, started zoloft 25mg Dec 2012... rapid taper zoloft, January 2013 Xanax 1mg for 1 month February 2013 Klonopin 1mg April 2013 to May 2013 Rapid Taper Klonopin to 0.5mg June 10th 2013 jumped from 0.5 Kpin and Atenolol 25mg July 2013 two days of Ativan 1mg b/c of hospital visit September 2013 started Effexor 75mg (this was a mistake i think) July 2014 to October 2014 tapered off Effexor... July 2015 - Reinstated zoloft 50mg Link to comment
LucaDiProspero Posted July 16, 2015 Share Posted July 16, 2015 justwanttobefree, shelby I'm happy for you reinstatement of the drug did the trick. I came at that point too...maybe reinstating lexapro or trying wellbutrin would be the solution for me I can't decide! Suffering is here 24/7 it became harder than before March 2010/ October 2010: Sereupin 30mg a day, EN 15 drops a day October 2010/ 1st November 2014: Cipralex 50mg a day (tapered to 40mg a day in August 2013), EN 15 drops a day (switched to Lexotan 15 drops a day in September 2014) Started Risperdal 1mg a day on the 1st November 2014. Stopped Risperdal on the 23 November 2014 because that day, after a short mental crysis, I suddenly lost all my emotions,desires,motivation and they not come back yet. Stopped Cipralex C/T in December 2014. Added, tapered and stopped other drugs during the following months (also a voluntary hospitalization in January 2015 for a suicide attempt)...no changes yet. I'm med free from 3rd December 2015 Link to comment
justwanttobefree Posted July 16, 2015 Author Share Posted July 16, 2015 I'm a lot better than I was guys. On 50mg of Zoloft now and will stay on meds for the rest of my life. Still dealing with the trauma of WD and still have severe anxiety but no longer in the depths of suicidal despair. God be with all of you, I think of you a lot. Diagnosed: Pure O Ocd, Severe Anxiety Disorder NOS, PMDD November 2009 - May 2013- CIPRALEX 20mg C/T off 20mg Cipralex Went into dark depression (never experienced before med) September 2013 - March 2014- PROZAC 20mg Weaned down to 10mg and held October 1st 2014 C/T off 10mg Prozac Protracted withdrawal - 8 months of the most horrific suffering imaginable June 1st 2015 - ZOLOFT 25mg June 26th 2015 - Dose increase to 50mg of Zoloft (taken at night after dinner). Slowly improving but still have severe OCD/ruminating, intense DP/DR, and brain fog. Just trying to stabilize at this point. Link to comment
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