Terry4949: withdrawal help

[Terry4949]

37 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

 

Usually physicians are only too happy if patients are willing to go on psychiatric drugs. Is there any possibility you could get a prescription for 5mg lamotrigine tablets and cut them in half to try 2.5mg per day?

 

If your sleep improved, your mood might also.

I don't think they will give me any lamotrigine alto , I had a letter the other day from them saying that I was not responding to medication after them trying me on so many which didn't seem to have any effect or worsened the condition and that apart from a benzo , clonazapam they weren't going to give me anything else , because I took lamotrigine for a month and reported no change they will be so reluctant to give it to me again , talking of sleep the last 3 nights I have managed to get , 4 to 5 hours sleep ,which is something , 

[Altostrata]

4 to 5 hours sleep is not terrible. Hang in there, that's a good sign.

[Terry4949]

10 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

4 to 5 hours sleep is not terrible. Hang in there, that's a good sign.

I know it is a improvement but the mornings are so bad , physical , legs shaking , inner restlessness morning depression , pins and needles , burning skin , no mastication , crying , just feel so dam horrible ,can't remember the last time I felt normal , 4 years now , endless suffering , how long do you give it , I hate going to bed and sleeping because I know I have to go through it all again in the morning , 

[powerback]

28 minutes ago, Terry4949 said:

I know it is a improvement but the mornings are so bad , physical , legs shaking , inner restlessness morning depression , pins and needles , burning skin , no mastication , crying , just feel so dam horrible ,can't remember the last time I felt normal , 4 years now , endless suffering , how long do you give it , I hate going to bed and sleeping because I know I have to go through it all again in the morning , 

 I have some of  these morning symptoms for at least 10 months terry ,the last few weeks the duration and intensity has lifted somewhat ,I see this as improvement ,I hope yours does also terry . 

you will have to find a way of stopping this thinking at night ,its not fair on you to think this before bed .

PB

[Terry4949]

5 hours ago, powerback said:

 I have some of  these morning symptoms for at least 10 months terry ,the last few weeks the duration and intensity has lifted somewhat ,I see this as improvement ,I hope yours does also terry . 

you will have to find a way of stopping this thinking at night ,its not fair on you to think this before bed .

PB

Thanks powerback for your kind words , I hope they lift soon it's horrible morning after morning waking with the same symptoms , going c/t not my fault has harmed me so badly , just need a break 

[virgo43]

Dear Terry if u can sleep 4 hours I am sooo happy to read that great news. Wish I could do that. 

My symptoms never diminished.  I think Skeeter has also had toxicity.

Dear Terry always reading about u. Take care brother. 

[Hibari]

Hi Terry,

 

Sleeping is important and to get any is a sign of healing.

 

I understand the morning trauma and I know it does shift.  

 

Don't know if you are still taking the L-Theanine but I hope it was okay. 

[Terry4949]

I have started to take 100mg of taurine at night I have been taking it for about 10 days now , I have found that it has helped me sleep a little better , not so restless and that I haven't been sweating and getting hot so much at night , not a cure by any means , but last night I didn't take any and woke in the night and early hours hot and sweaty , this morning I have been over heating hot flushes , even shortness of breath , can you get withdrawels from taurine just by missing a dose or is it that the initial effects have just wore of as this is how I felt before I started to take it , I think there is a definite benifit from taking it for me , but I don't want to get hooked up on something that is going to cause me withdrawel problems and have to take months weaning of , is 100 mg a high dose , maybe I should be spreading it out during the day , starting to worry now over a supplement now , don't want to google it as you read so many horror stories about what is good and bad , has anyone else found taurine to be progmatic if missing a dose 

Edited August 15, 2017 by scallywag
merged from new topic started in Symptoms forum

[scallywag]

Terry, here's something JanCarol posted in the last 2 days about supplements:

 

[Terry4949]

I am really struggling the last few weeks with worse symptoms in the morning , not sure wether it's cortisol or adrenaline related but I wake after about 2 hours on average sleep , and I have this really uncomfortable inner shake especially in my legs and through out my body , my legs feel so weak and shakey I worry about me falling over , this intense shaking last all day visually if I hold something you can see the shaking , my stomache has become very tense , and I have never had stomache issues , my burning skin has got even worse hands and feet on fire , I am 6 months almost of all meds now and the last four weeks I have physically got so much worse , is there any way to relieve these horrible morning symptoms , I have tried fish oil and magnesium not found any benifits to be honest , I take magnesium calms but it gives me a bad stomache , can't tolerate this horrible shaking much longer 

[bhasski]

Can you try turmeric with little doses if not yet tried... ?

It may benefit with some symptoms.. 

[virgo43]

Tery brother since u have these amazing people who are helping u all I want to say is my heart and soul is with u hang in there brother. Always thinking of u. 

 

[Terry4949]

I have been of  nearly 6 months now but I have a constant metallic taste in my mouth even if I eat or drink something it's still there , has anyone had the same experience, a friend of mine said it could be my mercury fillings as I have about 6 , or is it just the meds related , it's strange that I can taste metal now after nearly 6 months being of , has anyone also had this

[ChessieCat]

No. 52 in this list is Abnormal smells or tastes:  Dr Joseph Glenmullen's WD Symptoms Checklist

[powerback]

2 hours ago, Terry4949 said:

I have been of  nearly 6 months now but I have a constant metallic taste in my mouth even if I eat or drink something it's still there , has anyone had the same experience, a friend of mine said it could be my mercury fillings as I have about 6 , or is it just the meds related , it's strange that I can taste metal now after nearly 6 months being of , has anyone also had this

I'm getting a very strong chedder cheese smell the last few nights ,I didn't even have cheese last night .

even if you are getting fanthom smells .it mite be worth getting your fillings checked ,I cant remember what member was talking about leakage from fillings here before ,put mercury fillings into search see what comes up.

PB

[virgo43]

Dear Terry49. İ also often get metallic taste in my mouth. İs ur lower back hurting. İnternal burn. İ mean since the adrenal glands are there.

[virgo43]

How about ur water intake. How much are u consuming daily. How about ur coordination.Do u get brain fog and confusion and drymouthh?D

[JenJen]

I have been learning so much reading as much as I can on this site.  I used a link above and was lead to this.

 

Quote

It is thought among withdrawal researchers that people who experience the worst withdrawal are slower than others to repopulate serotonin receptors.

Others believe those who suffer the worst are those whose brains are highly neuroplastic and adapted more thoroughly to the influence of the medication.  - Altostrata

 

I am hoping/wondering if this means that if I am "highly neuroplastic" other things like CBT and working on changing my brain with meditation will be helpful.  

 

Also, is there a comprehensive list of supplements somewhere?  I just learned about L-Theanine (above) for the first time.  (Mods - feel free to move this - it was not my intention to hijack the thread.  

[Quest]

On 2017-08-14 at 6:17 AM, Terry4949 said:

Pil54 , I fully understand I am in the same position I have been of all meds for 5 months now but have been in the grips of withdrawel for nearly 4 years , no windows no improvement , everyday I have to find the energy to survive , at the moment I am suffering the worst depression ever , the hopelessness and sadness I feel consumes me , I have no motivation feel no joy , just a emptiness that makes me question wether all this waiting will be rewarded , some days it's a wonder that I am still alive , I have every thing to live for , family , don't drink or smoke eat very healthy when I can , but I am a shell of a person , fatigued all the time , maybe some of us do need medical intervention to help us live our lives , many people were severely depressed and anxious before they took antidepressants that why they went on them in the first place out of desperation , not every one who withdraws from there meds are going to go back to their happy old selfs , there are thousands of people who are severely depressed and anxious who have never touch a a/d , what if we are that person and we are fooling ourselves that this miracle will come , I have been speaking to a couple of people who have been of meds for 15 years now and have not found any improvements at all , I can't do that long , we have to do what we think is right , maybe a very low dose reinstatement is what we need and build up to a certain level to see if it will find us some relief and then do a long hold for some sort of stability, the trouble for me is I have had about 6 different meds in the last 12 to 14 months I would not no which one to reinstate , I wish I had gone back on Effexor a few years ago and gone slower , I wish I new the answer it is so difficult for us , some people will go of their meds slow and not encounter withdrawals but for others like us we are severely damaged and we have to do what we can to survive , I posted not long ago that I was seriously thinking about going back on something as I cannot find much more strength to carry on feeling like this , but I think I am 5 months of should I just hold on , but the thought of this for 5 more years , I know I won't survive 

 

How are you Terry?  I am new here but wanted to let you know i heard you.  If you ever need to talk, I can listen~

[Tattyapple]

Hey Terry.

have you had a sleep study?

I CT in very early 2014 and have been very unwell since.

my sleep is still fractured and dreamy and I have noticed that I always wake at 4am and cannot sleep after that if I do it's very dreamy and chemically and feels like poison. If I ever Sleep for longer I feel extremely depressed.

im pushing for a sleep study but my psychiatrist says this is a classic sign of severe depression as seratonin in lowest in early morning. 

Anyway I just wanted to let you know you are not alone. A CT after 15 years on ssris damaged me big time. How were we supposed to know what we were taking? It's iatrogenic damage and someone one day will take responsibility and apologies to me 

[Terry4949]

I have been of all my meds’ now for 8 months and life has been hell , for those that have read my history I have suffered severely , but now I am in the grip of another sever wave , crippling depression and severe head aches all the time , my body ache and the apathy is over whelming , anxiety is mild due to the fact the depression swamps it , the thing is for every wave I get the depression gets worse , my sleeping had started to get a little better and the sweating and overheating were slightly easing , now it’s all back with a vengeance, I havnt changed anything no triggers , why are things getting worse , the last 4 years have been horrendous it’s all about survival , but for each wave survival seems so far away , I’m am lost

[virgo43]

Terry I am praying for u. Hang in there brother. U are off meds and u are a warrior. U held on for so long. 

[Terry4949]

Things are worse , sleep has gone again , I have that awfull inner agitation , a real metallic taste in my mouth , my body aches I feel so emotional, no appetite , things were levelling out a little and I was slowly managing but it’s all gone back to square one , this is just awfull , I have that constant knot in my stomache legs shaking , sweating , very low mood , apathy , 8 months off and 4 years of torture do I really want to do this anymore ,  can’t take magnesium or fish oil to stimulating makes my body feel electric , I have read every page over the years on this site every tip and implemented every strategy that people have suggested and nothing no relief , I can’t reinstate , I don’t want meds , to scared to try anything , just want to fade away , I pray that when I go to bed I don’t wake up 

[bhasski]

Hi Terry,

I wish you get relief soon. I too have been going thru the same, being off the medicines for  almost 2 yrs..

 

I too feel stomach knots, restless legs, fatigued.. but holding on hope to see sm light.

 

As u said it got little better for sometime, it shows sm recovery ... and it will get better for us.

 

 

[Terry4949]

My brain , is burning , I have slept for about an hour , I feel so sick even to drink water.  I am curled up on the sofa shaking and crying , I feel so low and unwell , I don’t know how I am going to get through the day , the days are so long because of this suffering , I just wasn’t a end now , I can hear my brain pulsating it is driving me mad , I want to close my eyes and sleep but I can’t I feel so sick , and the metallic taste in my mouth is awfull , but why I am on no meds so where is it coming from , help 

 

[RachelSusan]

Terry4949,

I'm so sorry to hear about what you are going through.  A lot of your symptoms are similar to ones I have had.  The pain and suffering is intense.  These drugs are crazy and the nothing seems to clear up quickly at all.  Sounds like you are in the thick of it right now. It is truly hell, I know. Please hang in there my friend. 

RS

 

[Terry4949]

I am never going to get better let’s face facts , I am 8 months of all meds c/ t by hospital , can’t reinstate any of the meds I have been on over the last 2 years as I felt like this on them , I was even suffering the last 18 months so bad whilst on the Effexor , so for 4 years nothing has changed in physical symptoms  , horrendous, and the apathy lack of motivation depression is so strong now worse than 12 months ago its unbearable , I can’t eat , struggle to drink even water , the hot flushes are so intense so many times a day , the lack of sleep , crying all the time , that horrible knot feeling all day in your stomache drives me insane ,  the doctors only want to force benzos on me as I won’t take a/ds , if I run the gauntlet of trying another med it could make me worse , I think of death every day now as a way of relief , all the fight has gone from me , i have exhausted every avenue , breathing relaxation, fresh air ,, mindfulness, but nothing lifts me from this hell , 28 years I was drugged for and this is the result , if I had known this years ago I would have got myself a gun , my poor family watch me suffer , cry for me , love me , but I am a suffering shell of the person I was , my days are so long , even if I didn’t have the depression he physical symptoms are enough to push you over the edge , no human being should ever be made to suffer like this it’s inhuman , I hoped 2 years ago I would one day come back on here and inspire others with a least a part recovery story , but I am worse now than I was then , for those that can reinstate who have dropped to quickly please do and save yourself this hurt , the people who I have trusted have killed me with their actions and lack of knowledge , I was a caring loving honest man , I have never smoked never taken any illegal drugs and don’t drink , but my brain has been poisoned by people who were suppose to help me , don’t know where to go now.  people who reinstate have a chance to stabilise I don’t even have that option , sorry for the long post , I’m a broken lonely man

 

[Scorpio]

Hi terry

im so sorry you are in such a bad state and can only commiserate and hope a moderator comes along with suggestions to help you. Please keep hanging on, it has to change for the better eventually.  Your family love you for who you are and would hate to see you giving up so please keep fighting .

[powerback]

1 hour ago, Terry4949 said:

I am never going to get better let’s face facts , I am 8 months of all meds c/ t by hospital , can’t reinstate any of the meds I have been on over the last 2 years as I felt like this on them , I was even suffering the last 18 months so bad whilst on the Effexor , so for 4 years nothing has changed in physical symptoms  , horrendous, and the apathy lack of motivation depression is so strong now worse than 12 months ago its unbearable , I can’t eat , struggle to drink even water , the hot flushes are so intense so many times a day , the lack of sleep , crying all the time , that horrible knot feeling all day in your stomache drives me insane ,  the doctors only want to force benzos on me as I won’t take a/ds , if I run the gauntlet of trying another med it could make me worse , I think of death every day now as a way of relief , all the fight has gone from me , i have exhausted every avenue , breathing relaxation, fresh air ,, mindfulness, but nothing lifts me from this hell , 28 years I was drugged for and this is the result , if I had known this years ago I would have got myself a gun , my poor family watch me suffer , cry for me , love me , but I am a suffering shell of the person I was , my days are so long , even if I didn’t have the depression he physical symptoms are enough to push you over the edge , no human being should ever be made to suffer like this it’s inhuman , I hoped 2 years ago I would one day come back on here and inspire others with a least a part recovery story , but I am worse now than I was then , for those that can reinstate who have dropped to quickly please do and save yourself this hurt , the people who I have trusted have killed me with their actions and lack of knowledge , I was a caring loving honest man , I have never smoked never taken any illegal drugs and don’t drink , but my brain has been poisoned by people who were suppose to help me , don’t know where to go now.  people who reinstate have a chance to stabilise I don’t even have that option , sorry for the long post , I’m a broken lonely man

 

Hi terry I have no words ,so sorry this is your reality.dam this is awful for you .I pray and hope this changes for you .

PB

[RachelSusan]

Terry,  I hear how broken you are. You are right, your pain is beyond anything humane.  I do believe that you are in the worst of it right now due to when you went off and what I read as a time line for a lot of other people on this site. Please hang in and give it more time. I know you are sick of hearing that, but you are now off and will start to heal. I hope that a moderator will be by shortly though to add their thoughts. 

[Martina23]

2 hours ago, Terry4949 said:

I am never going to get better let’s face facts , I am 8 months of all meds c/ t by hospital , can’t reinstate any of the meds I have been on over the last 2 years as I felt like this on them , I was even suffering the last 18 months so bad whilst on the Effexor , so for 4 years nothing has changed in physical symptoms  , horrendous, and the apathy lack of motivation depression is so strong now worse than 12 months ago its unbearable , I can’t eat , struggle to drink even water , the hot flushes are so intense so many times a day , the lack of sleep , crying all the time , that horrible knot feeling all day in your stomache drives me insane ,  the doctors only want to force benzos on me as I won’t take a/ds , if I run the gauntlet of trying another med it could make me worse , I think of death every day now as a way of relief , all the fight has gone from me , i have exhausted every avenue , breathing relaxation, fresh air ,, mindfulness, but nothing lifts me from this hell , 28 years I was drugged for and this is the result , if I had known this years ago I would have got myself a gun , my poor family watch me suffer , cry for me , love me , but I am a suffering shell of the person I was , my days are so long , even if I didn’t have the depression he physical symptoms are enough to push you over the edge , no human being should ever be made to suffer like this it’s inhuman , I hoped 2 years ago I would one day come back on here and inspire others with a least a part recovery story , but I am worse now than I was then , for those that can reinstate who have dropped to quickly please do and save yourself this hurt , the people who I have trusted have killed me with their actions and lack of knowledge , I was a caring loving honest man , I have never smoked never taken any illegal drugs and don’t drink , but my brain has been poisoned by people who were suppose to help me , don’t know where to go now.  people who reinstate have a chance to stabilise I don’t even have that option , sorry for the long post , I’m a broken lonely man

 

Terry, what about if you try some sport? Maybe you can start walking each day an hour-two hours somewhere where there are trees, forest, park, nature. Later you could start running. It will help. I am sure. You have just to do the first step -to get up from your couch, take warm clothes and go outside. Regularly. You will see the difference.

[Terry4949]

8 minutes ago, Martina23 said:

Terry, what about if you try some sport? Maybe you can start walking each day an hour-two hours somewhere where there are trees, forest, park, nature. Later you could start running. It will help. I am sure. You have just to do the first step -to get up from your couch, take warm clothes and go outside. Regularly. You will see the difference.

I have tried to excersise but I am to sick and I overheat so quickly , I walk everyday over the fields with my dogs I walk for about a hour on average but it knocks me for six. 5 years ago I was a 2nd dan at tai kwon do and used to go 4 times a week , now if I walk up the stairs to fast I have to lay down as it wipes me out , 

[Martina23]

1 minute ago, Terry4949 said:

I have tried to excersise but I am to sick and I overheat so quickly , I walk everyday over the fields with my dogs I walk for about a hour on average but it knocks me for six. 5 years ago I was a 2nd dan at tai kwon do and used to go 4 times a week , now if I walk up the stairs to fast I have to lay down as it wipes me out , 

Then I dont know. Then try some kind of distraction techniques like journalling or writing a book, or some small occupation, like helping at home-slowly only what you can, and if you are tired you have to lie down and relax. And try to accept that it will take some time until the problems will resolve. 

 

I thought this sport because of endorphines, because you have to find out something that helps against depression and helps you move on

[wantrelief]

Oh I am so sorry you are feeling this way.  I know it it so hard to imagine since you are feeling anything but yourself but your family still sees you as you are, a caring honest loving man.  You are doing everything you can do, just keep going as you are one minute at a time.  

[Terry4949]

Moderator Note:  +moved from Help for Desperate or Suicidal.  The best place to get help and post personal feelings is in your own thread, where you friends and moderators can support you.

 

I am in deep trouble , the depression and sadness is so over whelming I am having thoughts of suicide , I just don’t want to be here anymore , but if I tell anyone they will put me in hospital and fill me with drugs against my will , I have been of for 8 months now and they will stick me back on high doses and destroy me , I am frightened for my safety but don’t want to tell anyone for fear of being hospitalised, can’t take no more

Edited October 29, 2017 by JanCarol

[Terry4949]

Really struggling again with this at the moment , have been here before and was hospitalised for 3 months can’t do it again , so sorry