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Rockingchaircat Day 600


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Rockingchaircat

This is weird. I'm STILL getting over mine.  This was one of the nastiest flus I've EVER gotten to enjoy. The brown mucus that I just kept producing for the longest while. I think it was roughly two months after that I FINALLY could stop coughing. Now the weird part? It's still going around locally, and when i meet folks that have had it, or are still going through it. I tend to get some of the symptoms, but only for a few hours.

Unfortunately, something else happens too. when I get over everything, all of my withdrawal symptoms return for a few days. Mild ones, but still there. It sucks.

1)Zoloft- 6/99 to 8/04 2)Escitalopram- 8/04 to 8/10 3)Citalopram 8/10 to 4/14 (C/T), 4)Paxil a week or so, 5)Wellbutrin a week or so, 6)Reinstated Citalopram- 9/14 to 7/15

Before Taper- Celexa/20 mg....Taper Start- 04/21/15- 15mg....05/26/15- 10 mg...06/22/15- 5 mg...07/18/15- 0mg. http://tinyurl.com/qjfoqe9 Ativan/Lorazepam use/taper 10/14 to 2/15- http://tinyurl.com/ljebp84

Baclofen- Intermittent use of from 2008 till 2014. Some use of Promethazine. Some use of Zofran. Clobetasol Propionate- for Lichen Planus. Some Flexeril use. 

Ativan- GABA,A receptor Agonist., Baclofen- GABA,B receptor Agonist., Celexa/Lexapro- Serotonin 5-HT1A Receptor Agonist., Zofran- Serotonin 5-HT3 Receptor Agonist..Promethazine- Histamine H1-Receptor Antagonist. Flexeril- Serotonin 5HT2a Antagonist.

 

My self imposed Amino Acid Therapy: Tyrosine 500mg 1xday, Theanine 200 mg 1xday, & Taurine 500 mg 2x day. (All neurotransitter pre-cursors)- seems to have helped me immensely. And of course- eating healthy, including Black Beans for the oligosaccharides for gut health.

 

The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of trick learned while mastering the Art of Living. - Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning.

 

 

 

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ugh that sucks RCC

I hope you're feeling better real soon

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total)
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. I tried to get off it several times. WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". Crashed in Sept, reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, current age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content 
  • April 2021, loving life ❤️ 
 
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  • 2 months later...
Rockingchaircat

July 9, 2018

 

Update.

 

I've just recently discovered that my BP is unusually high (191/91) With some medication, I've managed to get it to lower down to as low as 170/84. Better, but still a ways away from what it was before I started withdrawing from the Crap. The irony here? I don't smoke or drink. I exercise six to seven times a week. Even now my clothes have slowly been getting looser. Now, I'll have to be more vigorous in my weight loss.

Unfortunately, I do have to use a CPAP (still) to breathe at night. And yes, I STILL wake up in the middle of the night and stare at the ceiling way too much, too often. Though I have noticed that even with the use of the Lisinopril, that my energy levels have increased slightly.  My right knee ligament is mostly repaired now, so walking is getting easier. 

I discussed this issue with my boss. He mentioned that he too has had problems with his BP. Only his came to his attention when his BP was measured at 210/120.  Since then he's done everything he was supposed to, and it helped. For a while there, he lost enough weight, that he ended up having too low a BP. Then he gained weight back. I should be so lucky.

But, it's a goal.

1)Zoloft- 6/99 to 8/04 2)Escitalopram- 8/04 to 8/10 3)Citalopram 8/10 to 4/14 (C/T), 4)Paxil a week or so, 5)Wellbutrin a week or so, 6)Reinstated Citalopram- 9/14 to 7/15

Before Taper- Celexa/20 mg....Taper Start- 04/21/15- 15mg....05/26/15- 10 mg...06/22/15- 5 mg...07/18/15- 0mg. http://tinyurl.com/qjfoqe9 Ativan/Lorazepam use/taper 10/14 to 2/15- http://tinyurl.com/ljebp84

Baclofen- Intermittent use of from 2008 till 2014. Some use of Promethazine. Some use of Zofran. Clobetasol Propionate- for Lichen Planus. Some Flexeril use. 

Ativan- GABA,A receptor Agonist., Baclofen- GABA,B receptor Agonist., Celexa/Lexapro- Serotonin 5-HT1A Receptor Agonist., Zofran- Serotonin 5-HT3 Receptor Agonist..Promethazine- Histamine H1-Receptor Antagonist. Flexeril- Serotonin 5HT2a Antagonist.

 

My self imposed Amino Acid Therapy: Tyrosine 500mg 1xday, Theanine 200 mg 1xday, & Taurine 500 mg 2x day. (All neurotransitter pre-cursors)- seems to have helped me immensely. And of course- eating healthy, including Black Beans for the oligosaccharides for gut health.

 

The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of trick learned while mastering the Art of Living. - Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning.

 

 

 

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  • 1 month later...
Rockingchaircat

Day 1091, August 14, 2018.

 

You know what I find really annoying? That I'm STILL,! Still getting withdrawal symptoms sporadically.

 

Don't get me wrong. I am enjoying life now. But I really really really would like these freaking symptoms to go the freak away now, thank-you-very-much. 

My windows are punctuated with the occasional wave. Last night I woke up with about a 15 second anxiety attack, then my skin burned on my arms for about a half hour. It wasn't like the usual 'spearmint burn' that it had been previously. This one felt more like black-pepper had been applied to the skin of both arms.

A couple of weeks ago, I kept getting restless leg just after going to sleep at night. Yet when I take a nap during the day, I don't get them then. OH noes! JUST when I'm going to bed for the night.

 

And just recently, I discovered that my Blood Pressure was just a teensy bit on the high side (191/94). I talked to a Medico and got some pills for that now. It's made a world of difference, and I have energy again because I'm not out of breath all of the time. Yesterday morning, my BP was 124/69.  Which is quite the improvement. 

 

Getting my blood pressure under control was great. I've been actually in a good mood far more often now. Though I do find myself with bits of rage, and some anger  management issues due to the frustration for the agonies of withdrawal. 

 

Oh, I did manage to convince someone to get off of Anti-D's in real life. I directed her towards this website, after she'd come to me about advice concerning the pills. She had been thinking about trying another pill after her first set pooped out. After she'd read other's accounts here, and after talking with me, she decided that she was going to get off and stay off the pills entirely. It's worked out well for her, and she has decided to start working towards getting her pilot's license! It's so good to see someone doing so well!

 

 

1)Zoloft- 6/99 to 8/04 2)Escitalopram- 8/04 to 8/10 3)Citalopram 8/10 to 4/14 (C/T), 4)Paxil a week or so, 5)Wellbutrin a week or so, 6)Reinstated Citalopram- 9/14 to 7/15

Before Taper- Celexa/20 mg....Taper Start- 04/21/15- 15mg....05/26/15- 10 mg...06/22/15- 5 mg...07/18/15- 0mg. http://tinyurl.com/qjfoqe9 Ativan/Lorazepam use/taper 10/14 to 2/15- http://tinyurl.com/ljebp84

Baclofen- Intermittent use of from 2008 till 2014. Some use of Promethazine. Some use of Zofran. Clobetasol Propionate- for Lichen Planus. Some Flexeril use. 

Ativan- GABA,A receptor Agonist., Baclofen- GABA,B receptor Agonist., Celexa/Lexapro- Serotonin 5-HT1A Receptor Agonist., Zofran- Serotonin 5-HT3 Receptor Agonist..Promethazine- Histamine H1-Receptor Antagonist. Flexeril- Serotonin 5HT2a Antagonist.

 

My self imposed Amino Acid Therapy: Tyrosine 500mg 1xday, Theanine 200 mg 1xday, & Taurine 500 mg 2x day. (All neurotransitter pre-cursors)- seems to have helped me immensely. And of course- eating healthy, including Black Beans for the oligosaccharides for gut health.

 

The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of trick learned while mastering the Art of Living. - Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning.

 

 

 

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21 minutes ago, Rockingchaircat said:

Day 1091, August 14, 2018.

 

You know what I find really annoying? That I'm STILL,! Still getting withdrawal symptoms sporadically.

 

Don't get me wrong. I am enjoying life now. But I really really really would like these freaking symptoms to go the freak away now, thank-you-very-much. 

My windows are punctuated with the occasional wave. Last night I woke up with about a 15 second anxiety attack, then my skin burned on my arms for about a half hour. It wasn't like the usual 'spearmint burn' that it had been previously. This one felt more like black-pepper had been applied to the skin of both arms.

A couple of weeks ago, I kept getting restless leg just after going to sleep at night. Yet when I take a nap during the day, I don't get them then. OH noes! JUST when I'm going to bed for the night.

 

And just recently, I discovered that my Blood Pressure was just a teensy bit on the high side (191/94). I talked to a Medico and got some pills for that now. It's made a world of difference, and I have energy again because I'm not out of breath all of the time. Yesterday morning, my BP was 124/69.  Which is quite the improvement. 

 

Getting my blood pressure under control was great. I've been actually in a good mood far more often now. Though I do find myself with bits of rage, and some anger  management issues due to the frustration for the agonies of withdrawal. 

 

Oh, I did manage to convince someone to get off of Anti-D's in real life. I directed her towards this website, after she'd come to me about advice concerning the pills. She had been thinking about trying another pill after her first set pooped out. After she'd read other's accounts here, and after talking with me, she decided that she was going to get off and stay off the pills entirely. It's worked out well for her, and she has decided to start working towards getting her pilot's license! It's so good to see someone doing so well!

 

 

I know you are frustrated right now but as you say: all in all you're doing well - and you're "only" in for 3 years. How long have you been on meds? 

2005-2006: Cipralex 5 mg

2009-2010: Cipralex 5 mg

2012-2015: Cipralex 5mg, 10mg 

tapered 10mg-7.5mg-5mg-2,5-0 (I always waited for a few weeks on the current dosage until I felt stable. Steps were too big I realized too late)

Completely drug free since August 2015

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  • 4 months later...
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi there,

 

The staff at SA are wondering how you are.  We'd love to hear how you are doing now.   Would you mind dropping by and giving an update?

 

Thanks.

CC

NEW!!!     INTERVIEW with Altostrata, SA's founder    NEW!!! 

 

Plodding along inch by inch:  12" = 1',  3' =  36 " or 1 yard,  1760 yards  = 63,360" or 1 mile

Current from July 2021:  Pristiq 0.13mg

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering Oct 2015 

My tapering program   My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)  My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

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  • 4 weeks later...
JackieDecides
On 8/14/2018 at 12:22 PM, Rockingchaircat said:

Getting my blood pressure under control was great. I've been actually in a good mood far more often now. Though I do find myself with bits of rage, and some anger  management issues due to the frustration for the agonies of withdrawal. 

@Rockingchaircat

 

I also have high blood pressure but I struggle with getting it under control and I wonder about the side affects of my BP med, Ramipril. 

 

I hope you come back and update us on how you are doing. 

Currently taking Ramapril (blood pressure) 5 mg twice a day

Omeprazole 10 mg AM and 20 mg PM  (the taper has gone nowhere after the first cut)

Famotidine   once a day (and I still needs tums sometimes)

magnesium 200 mg at night

as of yesterday 2 fish oil capsules "EPA-DHA 1000"

 

off Lexapro as of 5/2018  - last dose had been 5 mg every other day for a couple years

 

highest dose had been 20 mg at which point I was diagnosed with Bipolar II, which went away when I cut the lexapro down to 15 mg. 

 

I spent years on Paxil before Lexapro (can't remember dose), briefly on Effexor and Abilify and others I have forgotten. in fact, when I was diagnoses with BPII I was put on all kinds of things which made me feel so bad I stopped them cold turkey within maybe 3 or 4 weeks, thank goodness. since then I've known these pills were terrible and I weaned down the Lexapro with zero help or support over I'm not sure how many years. 

 

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  • 3 weeks later...
Rockingchaircat
On 2/3/2019 at 2:25 PM, JackieDecides said:

@Rockingchaircat

 

I also have high blood pressure but I struggle with getting it under control and I wonder about the side affects of my BP med, Ramipril. 

 

I hope you come back and update us on how you are doing. 

It is slowly getting under control. I've had to institute a bit more radical dietary change in order to lose weight more quickly. 

 

I've still a ways to go. But, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Just last week, two days in a row I managed to get my BP to normal range (120's). My cardiologist tells me that if I lose another 40 or so more pounds I could go off the meds entirely.

 

But here's the weird part. I have lost a bit. I'm down several pants size since I'd gotten off the Anti-D's. I weighed in, and I'm still appalled about how far I need to go. I'm even more appalled when I realize just how much I'd 'filled out' prior. In retrospect, it shouldn't have come as any surprise that my BP had gotten so high.

 

But here's the silver lining. I'm dieting pretty close to what I did 30 years ago; but I'm nowhere near as cranky now, as I was then, or was during my other weight loss episodes since. 

I'm thinking that my Anti-Depressant withdrawal, gave me a new perspective in regards to what real discomfort is.

 

Weight loss dieting- not so bad now.

1)Zoloft- 6/99 to 8/04 2)Escitalopram- 8/04 to 8/10 3)Citalopram 8/10 to 4/14 (C/T), 4)Paxil a week or so, 5)Wellbutrin a week or so, 6)Reinstated Citalopram- 9/14 to 7/15

Before Taper- Celexa/20 mg....Taper Start- 04/21/15- 15mg....05/26/15- 10 mg...06/22/15- 5 mg...07/18/15- 0mg. http://tinyurl.com/qjfoqe9 Ativan/Lorazepam use/taper 10/14 to 2/15- http://tinyurl.com/ljebp84

Baclofen- Intermittent use of from 2008 till 2014. Some use of Promethazine. Some use of Zofran. Clobetasol Propionate- for Lichen Planus. Some Flexeril use. 

Ativan- GABA,A receptor Agonist., Baclofen- GABA,B receptor Agonist., Celexa/Lexapro- Serotonin 5-HT1A Receptor Agonist., Zofran- Serotonin 5-HT3 Receptor Agonist..Promethazine- Histamine H1-Receptor Antagonist. Flexeril- Serotonin 5HT2a Antagonist.

 

My self imposed Amino Acid Therapy: Tyrosine 500mg 1xday, Theanine 200 mg 1xday, & Taurine 500 mg 2x day. (All neurotransitter pre-cursors)- seems to have helped me immensely. And of course- eating healthy, including Black Beans for the oligosaccharides for gut health.

 

The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of trick learned while mastering the Art of Living. - Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning.

 

 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi rockingchaircat,

 

Thanks for coming back to update us on how your are.  It is very much appreciated.

 

3 hours ago, Rockingchaircat said:

I'm thinking that my Anti-Depressant withdrawal, gave me a new perspective in regards to what real discomfort is.

 

That's an interesting observation.  It may not just be that though.  It may also be that you have managed to achieve such a huge goal getting off the drugs that you know that you can meet this challenge too.  And you have also learned patience!

 

All the best to you.

NEW!!!     INTERVIEW with Altostrata, SA's founder    NEW!!! 

 

Plodding along inch by inch:  12" = 1',  3' =  36 " or 1 yard,  1760 yards  = 63,360" or 1 mile

Current from July 2021:  Pristiq 0.13mg

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering Oct 2015 

My tapering program   My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)  My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

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JackieDecides
9 hours ago, Rockingchaircat said:

I'm dieting pretty close to what I did 30 years ago; but I'm nowhere near as cranky now, as I was then, or was during my other weight loss episodes since. 

I'm thinking that my Anti-Depressant withdrawal, gave me a new perspective in regards to what real discomfort is.

 

I know it's a cliche but they do say "whatever doesn't kill you, makes you stronger"!  

glad you came back to update us. 

 

Currently taking Ramapril (blood pressure) 5 mg twice a day

Omeprazole 10 mg AM and 20 mg PM  (the taper has gone nowhere after the first cut)

Famotidine   once a day (and I still needs tums sometimes)

magnesium 200 mg at night

as of yesterday 2 fish oil capsules "EPA-DHA 1000"

 

off Lexapro as of 5/2018  - last dose had been 5 mg every other day for a couple years

 

highest dose had been 20 mg at which point I was diagnosed with Bipolar II, which went away when I cut the lexapro down to 15 mg. 

 

I spent years on Paxil before Lexapro (can't remember dose), briefly on Effexor and Abilify and others I have forgotten. in fact, when I was diagnoses with BPII I was put on all kinds of things which made me feel so bad I stopped them cold turkey within maybe 3 or 4 weeks, thank goodness. since then I've known these pills were terrible and I weaned down the Lexapro with zero help or support over I'm not sure how many years. 

 

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  • 1 month later...
Rockingchaircat

Day 1358. April 7, 2019- update.

 

It has been four days since my surgical procedure. A Cystolitholaplaxy. (You can find it on Youtube) 

It is what the 'cutting edge' technology uses, to deal with Bladder Stones. Which for me, were the Kidney stones that passed down from my kidneys but didn't exit my bladder. All 20 of them that took up residence in my bladder and did their very best to turn the inside into a scraped mess. That's because just about every time I urinated, I passed blood (Hematuria). 

 

So why am I mentioning this? Because it's part of my recovery. I used as part of my recovery- megadoses of calcium. In hindsight I think it may have been largely placebo. But at the time, even placebo was needed.  Thus as a result of those high doses, I developed kidney stones nee bladder stones. 

 

Of which, the medical doctors put me under a general anesthesia. Which came with its own problems- including a number of drugs related to the Benzodiazipines that I struggled to get off of before the antidepressants. Essentially, during the last couple of days, I've been  reoccurring the benzo withdrawal.  It sucks. But, it passes as well. And I also got a bit of the anti-d withdrawal too.

 

I also got a one time tab of Oxycontin. They gave me more, but I flushed them down the toilet. I've been through the withdrawal of that more times than I care to count. 

Well the upside is, I'm over the pain of having a Yahtzee bag of dice rolling around my bladder. Now I'm dealing with the slowly healing of my urethra burning like a fire when I urinate, and dealing with making sure that I void completely- even though it hurts something fierce every time.

 

I will also mention- the Foley Catheter, and the amount of bleeding that I've been doing. A lot at first, I got my wife to give me several of her maxipads. I've used most of them up. since. But I'm walking now without looking like I'm doing the Ministry of silly walks.

 

I'm hoping that this will be the end of it for the rest of my life, as this is something I do not care to go through ever again. But, kidney stones run in the family. So I will have to be careful.

 

I really detest what my trusting Pharmaceuticals have done to me. And for me. 

 

Another update- my blood pressure is down now. Before the surgery- I was down in the One hundred teens on a regular basis. This has led me to cut down on the blood pressure pills.  So, I will continue to work on losing weight, so that eventually I can eliminate them entirely. It comes off slowly, but steadily.

1)Zoloft- 6/99 to 8/04 2)Escitalopram- 8/04 to 8/10 3)Citalopram 8/10 to 4/14 (C/T), 4)Paxil a week or so, 5)Wellbutrin a week or so, 6)Reinstated Citalopram- 9/14 to 7/15

Before Taper- Celexa/20 mg....Taper Start- 04/21/15- 15mg....05/26/15- 10 mg...06/22/15- 5 mg...07/18/15- 0mg. http://tinyurl.com/qjfoqe9 Ativan/Lorazepam use/taper 10/14 to 2/15- http://tinyurl.com/ljebp84

Baclofen- Intermittent use of from 2008 till 2014. Some use of Promethazine. Some use of Zofran. Clobetasol Propionate- for Lichen Planus. Some Flexeril use. 

Ativan- GABA,A receptor Agonist., Baclofen- GABA,B receptor Agonist., Celexa/Lexapro- Serotonin 5-HT1A Receptor Agonist., Zofran- Serotonin 5-HT3 Receptor Agonist..Promethazine- Histamine H1-Receptor Antagonist. Flexeril- Serotonin 5HT2a Antagonist.

 

My self imposed Amino Acid Therapy: Tyrosine 500mg 1xday, Theanine 200 mg 1xday, & Taurine 500 mg 2x day. (All neurotransitter pre-cursors)- seems to have helped me immensely. And of course- eating healthy, including Black Beans for the oligosaccharides for gut health.

 

The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of trick learned while mastering the Art of Living. - Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning.

 

 

 

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  • 2 months later...

How long did it take for the Derealization to go away for you?

Drugs I have been on- Vyvanse 30mg, Adderal, citalopram 30mg, Zoloft 20mg, rexulti 10mg,Wellbutrin, Lexapro 20mg, buspar, Prozac 20mg, Trazodone 50mg, Ritalin 20mg.

some of them I can't remember doses for. 

 

was on on Zoloft, Ritalin, and adderal between the ages of 11-13. Then I was on Celexa and Vyvanse, between the ages of 13-21. Don't remember exact dates. 

 

Then when I went off the celexa and Vyvanse abruptly and went on all of the other medications. Between the ages of 21 and 22. 

 I saw psychiatrist for about 3 months and was put on most of them on and off. I think it was the other SSRI's besides celexa and Zoloft , buspar, Wellbutrin, and rexulti. 

 

 Then I went inpatient a few times after that where it was diagnosed as a recurrence of depression and went on and off medications like celexa, Trazodone, and most recently about 3-4 weeks ago EMSam. I have been completely off medication since than.

supplements- magnesium 250mg, and 2 omega 3's. 

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