SertralineAnxiety: can't cope with sertraline withdrawal, should I increase dose?

[SertralineAnxiety]

So, I am still not better. I weigh 46.6 kilos as of today. Down from 53kg, which was the weight I had for many years (apart from pregnancies). 

I have allergy issues all of a sudden. Extreme sensitivity to smells, smoke etc. Things trigger a cough easily. Itchy skin, itchy eyes, itchy scalp. I am soooo dry inside and out: Nose, mouth, throat, all my skin. Some foods also trigger reactions. 

Turns out I also have Oral Lichen Planus. That's the reason for burning mouth and tongue. I went to two different dermatologists(a regular one, and a holistic one) who said the same. The regular one gave me a load of steroids. The holistic one gave me a load of supplements and some other meds, including something for candida. I also went to a dentist, who suggested amalgam filling removal, plus botox for the TMJD because I have very bad damage from the teeth grinding. He also prescribed antibiotics for a suspected wisdom tooth infection. 

I havent taken any of those meds or supplements yet. I am too worried about reactions. 

Current sypmtoms: Low blood sugar feeling. Irritated painful tongue and sometimes painful swallowing. Occasional palpitations, panic and shortness of breath. Slow digestion. Weight loss. Dryness. Generally feeling crap.

Things that I am dealing with, which may cause my symptoms:

Hypermobility(this was diagnosed years ago) and related digestive issues.

Silent reflux(LPR)

Histamine and oxalate issues

Oral Lichen Planus

 

The food thing is the hardest at the moment. Trying to eat low histamine, low oxalate. And I can't eat any fresh fruit or veg, because they all burn my mouth. Struggling to eat enough with all the reactions and indigestion and reflux.

Oh and I increased my Sertraline dose by 1 mg, but I don't think it will help much at this point. This is one long huge wave. 

[SertralineAnxiety]

So I think I may have figured out what has triggered the nervous system hypersensitivity. I went to the ER twice 3 weeks ago, with 3 day between the visits. Both times they gave me an IV.  I checked my records online yesterday, and apparently both times they contained the same 3 drugs: Metoclopramide, hyoscine butylbromide, ranitidine. Metoclopramide seems to be the worst to take with SSRIs. There is a serious interaction warning. Though ranitidine is also not exactly harmless. I was already sensitized, then they give me these ridiculous drug cocktails. No wonder I had high blood pressure. No wonder I am in such a mess now. I am trying my best to stabilise. I am a little worried about developing serotonin syndrome since that's what the interaction warning said. I will try to eat fewer tryptophan containing foods. As if I didn't already have enough restrictions on my diet....

[ChessieCat]

9 minutes ago, SertralineAnxiety said:

I am a little worried about developing serotonin syndrome since that's what the interaction warning said.

 

Serotonin toxicity is dose related.  Thankfully you are on a low dose of sertraline at 17mg.

 

However, the higher blood pressure might be an indication that you are experiencing/did experience some mild serotonin toxicity.

 

12 minutes ago, SertralineAnxiety said:

I will try to eat fewer tryptophan containing foods.

 

This may not be necessary, but of course it probably wouldn't hurt to do it if you think it might help.  It's already been 3 weeks since the IV so as long as things are improving I don't think you need to be worried about it affecting the serotonin.

 

15 minutes ago, SertralineAnxiety said:

they give me these ridiculous drug cocktails

 

Yes, it is ridiculous.  We do try to tell members who are getting panicky and saying that they are thinking of going to hospital that it is highly likely that they will be given more drugs.

[SertralineAnxiety]

Thank you so much ChessieCat, I really appreciate your help. I went to the hospital since then to get some tests done, and they prescribed me stuff, but I am taking nothing except my Sertraline. I was considering an antihistamine to help with the mild allergic asthma(and food reactions). But I will instead try other things like avoiding places where it might be triggered, and remove all possible triggers from the house. Continue with the limited diet of boiled veg, oats, rice, and little meat. Then wait and see. I try to do EFT and meditation, which seems to help a little, when I wake up with palpitations in the middle of the night. I hope the CNS hypersensitivity will gradually improve. 

[SertralineAnxiety]

I keep waking up with palpitations and panic at night. Needing to pee 5-6 times a night. Plus loose stools. I hardly slept last night.

The sleep previous night was good, but I hadn't taken my sertraline that day because I was scared. I'm feeling very shaky and anxious most of the time. I cant tolerate light.

I feel like I have developed an adverse reaction to my sertraline. I want to stabilise on 17 mg, but I feel like the drug is making me worse at the moment. Withdrawal never felt like this before. I don't know if I should make a cut to see if it will help. 

[SertralineAnxiety]

I made mistake after mistake after mistake with this crisis. I really shouldn't have gone to the hospital 4 weeks ago, and I definitely shouldn't have increased my Sertraline dose last week. I dont even know exactly when I increased it, because I didn't write it down! And my memory is non existent. 

I have been doing a food and symptom diary for a few weeks, but I stupidly didn't include the sertraline. But I remember telling my partner a few weeks ago that I felt more itchy after I took my med. Now this morning I was feeling fine despite the lack of sleep, but after taking sertraline I had twitchy muscles and diarrhoea, then headache. If I had included my medication in my food and symptom diary, I would know how the symptoms coincide in the recent weeks. I could kick myself right now. 

All I know from my notes is that I have been consistently getting worse in the last month since the IV drugs (one on the 1st Oct and another on the 4th Oct). The sensitivities, the symptoms, the sleep. Everything. 

I didn't feel too bad after the first IV on 1st Oct, but I came home with an extremely dry mouth, unable to swallow, palpitations and anxiety after the 2nd visit on 4th Oct. All the allergies, sensitivities started after that. I had blamed the stomach problem and the weight loss, but my stomach got better since then, while everything else went bad. 

[SertralineAnxiety]

Everytime I drift off to sleep, I wake up with palpitations. Doesn't matter if its day or night. I dont know what to do. I had twitching muscles around my shoulder blades all day. Extremely dry eyes, stinging. Weak and shaky. Random panic. Been trying eft and meditation to calm down. Hypersensitivity to smells, foods, lights is increasing. It's all such a mess.

I cant help but think that after all the weight loss and iv drugs, the increase in dose has caused a reaction. I had to change manufacturers as well a while ago, and I think I havent been fully well since. 

I don't know what to do. There is no way of knowing if a big decrease will destabilise me further, or if it will help. All I know is that I stayed at the same dose for ages, then a small increase, and I've only been getting worse. 

[SertralineAnxiety]

Last night, my eyeballs were twitching whenever I closed them.

I kept getting brain zaps.(Like a lightning inside my head).

Palpitations. 

I managed to get some sleep after guided meditation, tapping(EFT) and listening to calming music. Woke up aching around neck shoulders and chest.

I am shaking from the inside.

Constant low blood sugar feeling.

I dont know if or how much sertraline to take. I never significantly reduced my dosage in the last months, I have been going very very very slow. But all my symptoms have only been increasing in the last month. 

[ChessieCat]

20 hours ago, SertralineAnxiety said:

The sleep previous night was good, but I hadn't taken my sertraline that day because I was scared.

 

2 minutes ago, SertralineAnxiety said:

I kept getting brain zaps.(Like a lightning inside my head).

 

Possibly due to the missed dose.

[SertralineAnxiety]

True Chessiecat, it's good to have an outsider's point of view. 

[SertralineAnxiety]

So I'm back to my previous dose around 15-16mg.

(I was on around 0.40-0.42g of pill weight since the summer 2020, which should be approximately 15.7mg of Sertraline active ingredient. Then a week or two ago I increased it up to 0.45-0.48. I dont remember properly it's all foggy, and the number on scales always keep bloody going up and down slightly. Now I'm back to 0.40-0.42 pill weight-again because the weight on the scales never stay still, so I aim for an interval rather than a set number.)

I slept fine last night. Had only 1 brain zap this morning. And I was less panicky. Clearly, lack of sleep ruins me big time. Or maybe the panic or something causes lack of sleep. Well, it's a vicious circle.

Weight seems stable at 46.4 kgs, so I havent lost weight for the last 3-4 days. Blood pressure was low when it got checked today, but that's actually normal for me.

The worst symptom now is the hypersensitivity(foods, chemicals, smells) allergy and autoimmune issues, which stop me from eating enough and going out, because I feel too weak, and I dont want to burn more calories than I have to. But I probably burn a shed load of calories just from freaking out and panicking 24/7 lol It's all so stupid. 

If/when this gets better, I am definitely never risking destabilising myself and ruining my health ever again. I will just literally reduce by 10% every 6 months. 

[Altostrata]

Hello, SA.

 

Yes, a skipped dose can cause a lot of symptoms later. It may take you a few weeks to stabilize from that.

 

5 hours ago, SertralineAnxiety said:

So I'm back to my previous dose around 15-16mg.

 

If I were you, I'd be more consistent in dosing. Be sure to take the same amount every day at the same time every day.

 

You seem to have a lot of health problems that may be unrelated to sertraline or tapering it. This may be a good time to stop tapering sertraline and simply stay at the same dosage for a good long time while you sort things out. We don't provide support for general medical conditions here, but you might want to look into Sjogren's syndrome. Please let us know when you're ready to taper again.

[ChessieCat]

1 hour ago, Altostrata said:

you might want to look into Sjogren's syndrome

 

SA's discussion is here:  sjogrens-syndrome-anyone-diagnosed-with-this-during-wd

 

[SertralineAnxiety]

Thank you altostrata. You are right, I need to be more accurate with the dosing and timing. I knew I was very sensitive to changes with this drug, and yet again I chose to go faster than I planned. I probably needed a long long break from tapering with all the stuff happening in life. 

These health problems only started in the last month. I had what feels like all the blood tests in the world. Apart from full blood count and allergy tests, an extensive blood test for various autoimmune diseases were done. Not to mention the upper gi endoscopy, urine and stool tests, lung x-ray. Nothing was found except low vitamin d.

The oral lichen planus and allergic rhinitis(dry, irritated nose) are the only diagnosed things, upon examination. I may go for further tests with eyes and saliva for Sjogren's, since the doctor had also mentioned it as a possibility. The blood test is negative, but cant rule it out for sure either. 

 

It feels like something triggered all this. I was feeling something brewing inside me for many months, but I kept pushing it back down and kept going. Last year has been hard. My husband has been very depressed about living in this new country, we are living with my mum and it is emotionally difficult, I feel alone, my kids are stressing me out, I'm scared of covid, etc. I'm even thinking if the climate of where we now live has contributed to this. 

[Altostrata]

It probably would be a good idea for you to find psychotherapy to learn techniques to manage your anxiety, or stress reduction techniques.

 

Quite a few people here teach themselves meditation:

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

Easing your way into meditation for a stressed-out nervous system

 

Music for self-care: calms hyperalertness, anxiety, aids relaxation and sleep

 

Ways to cope with daily anxiety

 

Shame, guilt, regret, and self-criticism

 

Health anxiety, hypochondria, and obsession with symptoms

[anna7887]

I’m not a doctor but as someone who came down with a mystery like illness 5 plus years ago and (only diagnosis I’ve received is chronic Lyme disease ) I can tell you the few most important things I’ve learned in healing after literally spending thousands on looking for a diagnosis and treatment:

1) Zoloft is a neurotoxin. I strongly believe it can contribute to illness. A slow taper off using this forums guidance is your best bet in recovering. Slow and steady wins the race. 
2) your mind is so powerful. Look up neuroplasticy. Through thought alone you can literally change matter in your brain. Do not underestimate this power. Curable is an excellent app in addressing some of your thought patterns as is joe dispenza’s work. Try to live more in love vs. fear... the hormones these feelings generate are the real deal and have a significant impact on the body. 

3) Food is medicine. I can’t stress this enough. But again come from a place of love and kindness vs fear.

 

hang in there... this too shall pass 

[SertralineAnxiety]

Thank you for the links and advice Chessiecat and Altostrata. You probably hear this all the time, but the work you do here is so amazing and I really appreciate it, and I thank you with all my heart. 

I went through some of those threads again. I found something called ASMR recommended on SA. It helped me go back to sleep last night, after hours of freaking out in bed. 

I noticed that my eye dryness gets much worse after poor sleep and lots of screen time. No surprises there. I spent the last month in front of screens every waking hour, trying to figure out what was wrong with me this time. Sjogrens is a possibility, but after reading a bit more on it, at this point, confirming it won't change my course of action I think. 

 

The only definite problem I had from the past is hypermobility, anxiety&OCD and sensitive digestive system. I have always been a highly sensitive person and reacted to some medications and painkillers in the past. So I am just hyper hyper sensitive now in withdrawal. 

I always had OCD and health anxiety, but Sertraline really dampened it. But right now I am seriously stuck in fight or flight mode. The smallest thing sets me off. I see danger everywhere. 

I got in touch with my old therapist from the UK, who recognises the withdrawal and the autoimmune issues. Which is something I really need, because my family all think I am making all this up, that I should just get over it and be strong. 

 

So, on top of weekly therapy, I will try vagus nerve exercises, guided meditation, ASMR, energy healing (from a relative who does it remotely), way more sleeping and resting. And, of course being more consistent and accurate with the dosing. 

Next step might be yoga, tai chi and journalling. But I will try to not beat myself up about it if I don't manage it all. 

[SertralineAnxiety]

11 hours ago, anna7887 said:

I’m not a doctor but as someone who came down with a mystery like illness 5 plus years ago and (only diagnosis I’ve received is chronic Lyme disease ) I can tell you the few most important things I’ve learned in healing after literally spending thousands on looking for a diagnosis and treatment:

1) Zoloft is a neurotoxin. I strongly believe it can contribute to illness. A slow taper off using this forums guidance is your best bet in recovering. Slow and steady wins the race. 
2) your mind is so powerful. Look up neuroplasticy. Through thought alone you can literally change matter in your brain. Do not underestimate this power. Curable is an excellent app in addressing some of your thought patterns as is joe dispenza’s work. Try to live more in love vs. fear... the hormones these feelings generate are the real deal and have a significant impact on the body. 

3) Food is medicine. I can’t stress this enough. But again come from a place of love and kindness vs fear.

 

hang in there... this too shall pass 

 

You're right, thank you. Especially about the hormones generated due to thoughts. This long term panic mode had a large impact on my body. I am exhausted. 

I looked up the curable app and I will download it. 

[SertralineAnxiety]

Everything was fine, then suddenly I felt weak, felt dizzy and had to lie down at 5pm. I remember reading somewhere "You cannot get well in the same environment you got sick in" and it feel so right sometimes. With the kids fighting all day long plus my husband bored, depressed and angry. Then me feeling guilty about my mum having to do everything while I can't do enough housework because I'm too ill. Not being able to eat enough. So exhausting.

 

I was actually feeling good today, after doing a remote energy healing session with a close relative last night. I slept okay. I still woke up a couple of times, but not with palpitations and panic. Which is good. Because those palpitations in deep sleep have been happening for a few years, and are very unpleasant. Not every night, but maybe every other night or a bit less. The issue is that I used to wake up with panic, then I used to manage to go back to sleep without worrying about it. This last month, I cant calm down and go back to sleep. I assume it's due to my nervous system being stuck on high alert mode. Like the autoimmune and hypersensitivity issues.

Anyway. Its my husband's depression and horrible attitude sometimes dragging me down big time. I know he feels trapped, and has been feeling unhappy. But for the last year, he loaded all of his unhappiness onto me. I tried and tried for months. I tried to find him friends, tried to help him learn the language, tried to organise things to keep him occupied. I spent so much time and energy just trying to keep him happy. But he made zero effort. So I gave up. Then he gave up. He started spending most of his time watching tv or browsing on his phone. Doing nothing all day. The quarantines didn't help ofcourse...

The annoying thing is, he was the one who rushed me to move to this country. I warned him so many times about it being a big risk, and also asked him to try to learn the langauge at least a little, before moving. Now he couldnt adjust, and he wants to move back. But I dont want to, and the kids are happy here. So he is blaming me. If he moved back on his own, he'd still be unhappy I think. He has been emotionally relying on me a lot for the past decade. Of course I'm not perfect,  I rely on him too. I can be very controlling and obsessive. He supported me through a lot of things.

Anyway, he has been feeling lonely, useless and resentful for months. So the atmosphere at home has been crap for ages now.

Today I was feeling hopeful and telling him about my session last night, and meditation, tai chi etc. And he just was not happy about it. He said I was going all weird. He thinks yoga, meditation etc are ridiculous. He would never willingly consider going to a therapist. He doesn't get it. And that's fine. But the way he talked to me made me really sad and set off my fear of going insane. I am feeling vulnerable and afraid as it is. 

Sigh. 

I just need a break. 

[SertralineAnxiety]

So, things are the same. Up and down with various symptoms. Still limited to oat porridge, boiled rice,  types of boiled veg. And some lamb, but I think it's causing me issues, so I will try cutting it out for a couple of days. 

Currently the worst issue is the oral lichen planus(+oral candidiasis) and my irritated, swollen tongue. It is causing constant discomfort and anxiety. Painful sores come and go. 

 

I am considering a steroid mouth rinse, and a nystatin gargle. I havent used anything for the lichen planus so far, but it's getting unbearable. Seeing how hypersensitive I am to pretty much everything, I am very worried about using chemicals again. But I am hoping that using just a mouth rinse and gargle may be okay. 

 

[SertralineAnxiety]

I'm sat upstairs on my own crying, while my family are downstairs watching a Christmas movie. This is so tough. 

The hypersensitivity to chemicals is really ruining my life. Now that its winter, in our area, every evening the air outside is filled with smoke from coal or wood burners. So we cant open windows.

And in our house, the whole of the downstairs is open plan. That means the kitchen and living room is all in one big area. So when my husband or mum is cooking, the smell and chemicals from the oven or teflon frying pan fills the whole living area. It's the same when someone is washing the dishes. The fragrance of the dishwashing liquid fills the whole room. And all the smells gives me terrible symptoms. Starts with a headache or dry throat and cough. Then I feel like a lump stuck in my throat. It gets tight. Then it starts to get really sore. By then I usually escape the area. 

So many things are scarily irritating my throat. All cleaning products, deodorants, shampoos, scented soaps, moisturizers, toothpaste... Any kind of smoke. Handling any raw veg and fruit... It's really tough. I just want to be together with everyone. I am already feeling lonely and drained, and I really need to be close to people, close to my family. But whatever I need, seems to be taken away from me. Every step I take is wrong. Everything I try makes me worse. 

I never felt so helpless and hopeless. It's like something is trying to make me hit rock bottom. This is so hard. 

All I can do is hope that this is temporary. 

 

[anna7887]

It WILL pass... have faith my friend. Everything in life changes. You’re going to be okay. I know it’s tough but try to stay positive. Can you go for a walk outside? Use essential oils? Take a bath? Try to focus on things that are calming. 

[SertralineAnxiety]

Thank you Anna. I dont have many options, anything I try seems to make me worse. But thank you for reminding me nothing is permanent. Hope you are doing okay.

 

 

[SertralineAnxiety]

There definitely seems to be an almost predictable pattern to my breakdowns. Everytime I'm on my period, it goes downhill. Everytime I feel good and symptoms become bearable, I tend to go back to my old habits, or I do too much, or I stop protecting myself, and then it goes downhill again. 

Funnily enough, before I had that bad episode last night, I was thinking about how much I had improved lol. My symptoms were mild some days, and I was also having windows of few hours here and there, with no symptoms at all. 

The symptoms that had disappeared for some weeks were:

Waking up about 30-60 minutes after falling asleep, with panic and palpitations. (This is still gone, fingers crossed)

Weird visions of patterns in my eyes when I lie in bed. (This came back last night)

Feeling panicky and unable to focus. (This came back last night)

Feeling shivering then hot, shivering then hot etc. (Came back last night)

Low blood sugar feeling, shakiness (Still gone)

Extreme sensitivity to light(Came back yesterday) 

 

I also finally found an answer to why mindfulness, meditation etc. makes me feel worse. It just floods me with too much childhood trauma, and I cant cope with it alone. I simplified it, but for anyone who may have the same issues, I'll explain below.

[SertralineAnxiety]

This is the link for the transcript of the podcast:

 https://www.resources.soundstrue.com/transcript/tara-brach-radical-acceptance/ 

 

This is the relevant part: (But I highly recommend reading or listening to the whole thing.)

 

Quote: 

If you open the door to a lot of trauma and you don’t have the emotional resilience or stability, you are just rerunning the same trauma. Without anything added, it is re-traumatizing. It deepens the neuropathways and the grooves....

...There wasn’t recognition that some traumatized people would not benefit by directly going into mindfulness practice. Instead, they needed to build “affect tolerance,” or to build a capacity of “be with.”

 

If someone comes to work with me—either as a clinical patient or at a retreat—and they’re just beginning to open up to really big abuse or fear or terror, rather than saying, “OK, let’s be with it,” I’ll spend time helping them to develop a refuge, some resource that gives them a sense of safety and belonging and love. That refuge gives them space—a field of caring—so they actually have the capacity to be with whatever is so scary, without getting possessed.

...

When you’ve been traumatized, there is almost a “singeing” so the pathways between the brain’s limbic system and the cerebral cortex are not the pathways that are interfered with. (Scientists are now able to track this biochemically.) So, you don’t have access to some of your normal adult perspectives; you don’t have access to memories that could be good coping strategies. The experience is: “I am that young scared child who is absolutely helpless and terrified. I have no resources.” So if you’ve been traumatized and you are meditating, you need to find some pathways back to those resources before just bringing straightforward mindfulness to what is going on. " 

 

[SertralineAnxiety]

Right, I am in very severe withdrawal. All my symptoms clearly point to a very hypersensitized nervous system. 

Everything bothers me. Bright lights, loud noises, cold, heat, physical activity, smells, food and even water. I feel hopeless and useless. I try so hard to get better but it all backfires. So I do nothing, and it still gets worse. Feels like a death sentence. This is hell. 

The multiple chemical sensitivities is driving me absolutely crazy. I could live with it if it remained the same, but I get more and more sensitive overtime. Everything we use in the house is unscented. But more and more smells bother me. Recently I started not being able to tolerate the smell of wood furniture. Now we sleep on the floor on a mattress in a room with no furniture. I cant read books because their smell bothers me. The air purifier is running most of the time. I cant spend much time with my kids because the smell from the foods they are eating, or the toys they are playing with, is unbearable. I cannot even be a mother anymore. 

 I'd sacrifice a limb just to get rid of this hypersensitivity. It is torture. Extremely dry mouth, throat, nose, skin is still here. So is the lichen planus with open sores on a swollen, tender tongue. When I am exposed to smells, my tongue burns, my throat burns, I find it difficult to swallow. Sometimes headaches, then nausea. I try meditation and calming down, but the symptoms dont leave me alone. This ruined my life and I wish I never continued my taper after stabilising. I wish I was never exposed to any of the many triggers last year, like jabs, medications, dental work, having the house infumigated with bug poison, weight loss, husbands depression, moving to a new country. Complete and utter mess. Its like the universe is conspiring against me. I gave up every belief and goal I had. I finally understand how people end up so suicidal. I have no intention of doing such a thing, but I completely understand now. Everything I touch is tainted, every step I take is cursed. I still have hope, but this is so painful. 

[DaBro]

@SertralineAnxietyI feel for you. Be strong. Be patient. This too shall pass. There may be some support in me/cfs groups as it’s a common symptom.

[SertralineAnxiety]

19 minutes ago, DaBro said:

@SertralineAnxietyI feel for you. Be strong. Be patient. This too shall pass. There may be some support in me/cfs groups as it’s a common symptom.

Thank you DaBro. I joined some MCS and CFS groups already. I also started a brain rewiring thing. Hope it helps, or at least stops the progression, or maybe it will let me cope with the symptoms better. 

[SertralineAnxiety]

I just had an online session with a psychiatrist. The counsellor I was seeing insisted I see this psychiatrist. I think the counsellor felt like she didn't know what to think of the SSRI withdrawal, and that she wasn't qualified. Apparently this psychiatrist isn't normally very keen on prescribing drugs. So I accepted to see him.
And surprise surprise, I wasted 90€ as well as an hour of my life. After speaking to him for over 40 minutes, he managed to come to the conclusion that the issues I have today, and other issues I had in the past, have nothing to do with Sertraline or its withdrawal or any other physical illness. It's all from my "condition". And that I can never have suffered from side effects from the Sertraline. He says all I had was anxiety and depression all along. Apparently I had anxiety up until age 17 when I started the Sertraline. Then the numbness that I experienced during the years I took the drug, was because I had depression and I didn't know about it. I'd love to ask him, "From that point of view, did Sertraline cause the depression? Considering I didn't have it before taking Sertraline?" He would obviously never accept it. The doctors all believe the SSRIs are never guilty of anything. He even asked me if I used any recreational drugs long term, and he found it hard to believe I never had. Clearly, if I had used weed, alcohol etc, he could blame the depression, other symptoms or health issues on "those" drugs. Since those drugs can always be found guilty of anything. But prescription drugs are always innocent. Sigh. 
He suggested a "treatment" for my "depression". He says other drugs can be added to manage the side effects. Also suggested that I start anti-anxiety medications = benzos. Apparently, before SSRIs people had to live with their depression forever.  It was just like how people had to die from infections before the antibiotics were invented. But nowadays depression and anxiety are conditions that are treatable with medication. Jesus christ, I may as well have gone to drug dealer. I don't think I will bother with a psychiatrist again, unless it's David Healy or Kelly Brogan. 
I don't know how much more certain I can be that my MCS is caused by my brain being stuck in some kind of hypervigilance response. I read about people being cured of it with ECT, antidepressants or benzos, ironically. If I was absolutely and completely hopeless, I would try IV vitamins, acupuncture or some kind of alternative treatment before going back to any kind of drug. The risk for worsening symptoms seems much greater with psychotropics. 

[manymoretodays]

Hi Sertraline Anxiety,

Your upset is understandable.

 

I don't know if you have seen this:

Guidance for Psychological Therapists: Enabling conversations with clients taking or withdrawing from prescribed psychiatric drugs

This may be helpful, going forward.  I don't know if you'll stay with that counselor, perhaps a more understanding one may be more helpful.

 

My best help has come from those willing to believe I would get better, and heal........and those willing to help me with coping skills and practices.  And oh, I had to begin to believe in my own healing capacities as well.

 

And it looks like you've found some support for the MCS, and other symptoms that have developed too.

Multiple Chemical Sensitivity vs hypersensitized nervous system

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, ME

and in ^, you'll see a reference to the Beyond Meds site, where more is written about this.  A great site too, by the way, and the author has been through a lot, with their own WD from multiple medications

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

53 minutes ago, SertralineAnxiety said:

The risk for worsening symptoms seems much greater with psychotropics. 

 

And oh, I so much agree.

When did your symptoms begin?

And apologies, as I haven't read through all of your narratives, as yet.

 

And best,

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

manymoretodays(mmt)

[SertralineAnxiety]

Hi Mmt, thank you.

The last wave of symptoms started around September 2020. First digestive issues, then weight loss, then increasing sensitivity to foods, then smells, then slowly other withdrawal symptoms. 

I will speak to the counsellor honestly and explain myself. I might find another one, if I feel don't feel like she understands me. 

 

 

 

 

[SertralineAnxiety]

The psychiatrist really triggered some trauma in me yesterday. I couldnt sleep for most of the night. I felt so angry, disappointed and misunderstood. I was not happy with him claiming that I had been controlling all my doctors and therapists all these years. He said that I must have misled them to think that I had issues with quitting the medication, but in truth I was depressed and I was hiding it. As if he lived with me for the past 15 years and he knew me inside out. As if all the other doctors and therapists are stupid and they are being manipulated by their patients. He was adamant that I would get worse without drugs. Which made me feel absolutely furious and disgusted at how he didnt care about making me feel scared or hopeless, since the medications are obviously not an option for me. It was so cruel, so cold. Even though he started the session saying how I should open up and he would listen to me without any judgements. By the end of the hour he had labeled me and accused me with many things. And he tried to take away all hope of healing without drugs. According to him, there isn't and has never been any other effective treatment for these "conditions", than drugs, hospitals and ECT type of physical interventions.

I now realise what a traumatising and disappointing event yesterday's session has been. And by noticing it, I can work on recovering from it. 

 

[SertralineAnxiety]

14 hours ago, manymoretodays said:

Hi Sertraline Anxiety,

Your upset is understandable.

 

I don't know if you have seen this:

Guidance for Psychological Therapists: Enabling conversations with clients taking or withdrawing from prescribed psychiatric drugs

This may be helpful, going forward.  I don't know if you'll stay with that counselor, perhaps a more understanding one may be more helpful.

 

My best help has come from those willing to believe I would get better, and heal........and those willing to help me with coping skills and practices.  And oh, I had to begin to believe in my own healing capacities as well.

 

And it looks like you've found some support for the MCS, and other symptoms that have developed too.

Multiple Chemical Sensitivity vs hypersensitized nervous system

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, ME

and in ^, you'll see a reference to the Beyond Meds site, where more is written about this.  A great site too, by the way, and the author has been through a lot, with their own WD from multiple medications

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

 

And oh, I so much agree.

When did your symptoms begin?

And apologies, as I haven't read through all of your narratives, as yet.

 

And best,

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

manymoretodays(mmt)

I visited Beyond Meds many times over the last couple of years. Thank god she documented her recovery. It has been so extremely helpful. 

[anna7887]

Most Psychiatrists push meds.. I’ve yet to find one that doesn’t. It sounds like you need another therapist. I am going through similar issues after being on Zoloft for so long (food sensitivities, etc). I have some really hard/ dark moments and withdrawal symptoms but I refuse to pass judgement on the feeling. I find that anxiety I feel on top of withdrawal symptoms is sometimes worse than the original symptom. I learned this though dealing with chronic Lyme disease.  Meditation, gratitude journaling(look up 5 min journal), keeping busy at work, gentle exercise, has all helped. I firmly believe in neuroscience in the ability to change the brain through thought alone...every time you panic & experience fear your brain gets stuck in a loop and sends the same fear/ pain signals to the body (literally creates the secretion of stress hormones designed to get you out of danger). No matter whether the pain is real or perceived the body doesn’t know the difference. If you start practicing positive emotions like gratitude, laughter etc the brain will start sending healing signals to your body..the shame your doctors is causing is not helping your case.. again you need to believe you can heal...the damage Zolofts done can and will be repaired but it takes hard work. If you haven’t already, think about looking at joe dispenza’s books and meditations.. I have seen people in wheelchairs recover via neuroscience. 

[SertralineAnxiety]

23 hours ago, anna7887 said:

Most Psychiatrists push meds.. I’ve yet to find one that doesn’t. It sounds like you need another therapist. I am going through similar issues after being on Zoloft for so long (food sensitivities, etc). I have some really hard/ dark moments and withdrawal symptoms but I refuse to pass judgement on the feeling. I find that anxiety I feel on top of withdrawal symptoms is sometimes worse than the original symptom. I learned this though dealing with chronic Lyme disease.  Meditation, gratitude journaling(look up 5 min journal), keeping busy at work, gentle exercise, has all helped. I firmly believe in neuroscience in the ability to change the brain through thought alone...every time you panic & experience fear your brain gets stuck in a loop and sends the same fear/ pain signals to the body (literally creates the secretion of stress hormones designed to get you out of danger). No matter whether the pain is real or perceived the body doesn’t know the difference. If you start practicing positive emotions like gratitude, laughter etc the brain will start sending healing signals to your body..the shame your doctors is causing is not helping your case.. again you need to believe you can heal...the damage Zolofts done can and will be repaired but it takes hard work. If you haven’t already, think about looking at joe dispenza’s books and meditations.. I have seen people in wheelchairs recover via neuroscience. 

 

Thank you Anna. You are absolutely right. Yes there are also external factors that make us ill, but the brain is capable of so much more than we are led to believe. I have realised over the last couple of days that my sensitivity to smells is almost like an intrusive thought. I mean, there is definitely a big increase in my capacity to pick up very subtle scents. But my very strong emotional response feeds the (unwanted) increased ability. 

I read today that the reason this kind of illness appears progressive, is because the brain gets better at what it practises. So because I am so obsessed with smells, I keep practising, and I get better at picking up scents and overreacting. I keep giving my brain the message that it should remain hypervigilant. 

I think initially the withdrawal causes the hypersensitivity symptoms. But the worrying and negative thought patterns make it much worse than it needs to be, and prolongs or prevents healing. 

I will try to change these patterns. But it's easier said than done. A lot of childhood trauma is standing between me and being able calm down. Whenever I try to calm down or distract myself, random memories are flooding me. I need to practise accepting them rather than being afraid or running away. I think writing or sharing helps a lot though. Gives me control over the memories, events and feelings. I guess that's why I write here when I feel horrible. 

 

 

[almuPA]

Hello @SertralineAnxiety,

I've just discovered your thread. I am so sorry for what you've been through. I would like to thank you for being brave and share and everything, because at least for me it is important to find that I am not alone. 

I was on a different AD and for less time than you, but I also feel that I have a hypersensitized nervous system. It is like walking on ice, you never know what it's going to trigger more symptoms or when is going to happen.

I hope that you have seen some improvements this last couple of months.

Hugs,

Almu.