Johni: I want to break free

[Johni]

Hi there. slowly I am starting to know what to believe. so far, depression has always remained below the cuts. now somehow a constant feeling. Anxiety is not just about depression. There was no such problem for 4.4 mg, but the feeling became constant. i don't know if this would really be a reversal or myself

[Johni]

 

Hi there. After 2.5 years of therapy, I decided to give it up. It did more harm than good. I feel like it fed my intrusive thoughts a lot. Currently, I also pause the reduction at least after the holidays and then I’ll see. I find this constant fatigue and depression quite difficult to bear. But then it will be somehow. perseverance for everyone

[Hanna72]

Hi @Johni

9 hours ago, Johni said:

After 2.5 years of therapy, I decided to give it up. It did more harm than good. I feel like it fed my intrusive thoughts a lot.

You are the only one who knows what is best for you. 
There are so many coping skills that we can try and navigate through this journey, finding the best one for you is out there. Just need to see what works for you.

I myself don’t want to do therapy for anxiety cause it’s then a constant reminder for me and makes my anxiety worse,  so I get it.

 

You have come along way with your tapering, 4 mg is a huge accomplishment. There is no rush in this process, holding sounds like a good plan.

Hoping that your fatigue and depression will lift and a brighter day will enter your life soon.

My best wishes to you.

Edited June 28, 2021 by Hanna72

[Johni]

Hello. thank you for checking in. I don’t know yet what therapy I’m going to try, but I’m sure this conversational therapy didn’t come in. Although stem the therapist doesn’t really understand that without emotions things don’t go the way they used to. I might try CBT. thank you for your words of encouragement. I’ll tell you honestly it’s a little confusing that you have to start therapy all over again. everything in advance. I wish you a nice day

[Johni]

Hi there. Well, you just don’t want to pass this feeling of depression. I tried to go out fishing a bit in nature to see if it would fill me up a bit. I just got nervous about it. At this point, I have no idea what to do. Hi

[arbor]

Dear @Johni--The anxiety can be so strong.  It's terrible.  Eventually it will pass.  I applaud you for trying to go fishing in nature.  A good plan, but then the anxiety can still be there😬.

Maybe just be restful, kind to yourself (or to anyone else as well) and let it move through you as you heal.  It probably means your brain is working on overdrive to recover.  I send you mutual sympathy and best wishes--

Arbor

[Johni]

Hello @arbor. specifically I wouldn’t say anxiety. It just doesn't tie the thing down. Like lately. nothing. It is as if one loses the meaning of life. I actually lost. it is thus not life. Everything is annoying. Actually, so every day is just suffering. I'm going on vacation in 2 weeks. But I sincerely miss it very much. Normally, it would be the vacation of my life. but now I’d rather just wait to at least not work. thank you for checking in. embrace

[arbor]

Yes, I'm glad you clarified.  The feeling isn't anxiety so much. more that 

48 minutes ago, Johni said:

Everything is annoying. Actually, so every day is just suffering.

I've actually felt this A LOT.  I sure hope it finally goes away for both of us--

Arbor

[Johni]

 

Hello. i know it would be best to accept the situation although it is easy to say. i have a hard time wearing life going over me. Actually, I’m also planning to change my therapist because my situation doesn’t really help. By encouraging me to go and live, it’s more of just reinforcing things in me. Because I just don’t feel capable of anything he doesn’t understand. I’ve listened for a good long time to all sorts of addicts I’m asexual and who else knows what. Which I don't think helped much either

[Greatful]

@Johni  I am sorry you are in so much pain.  I hurt for you, I also struggle with depression, anxiety and some disconnect with the world.  I don't know is that what they call D/R?

This is a hard journey.  One day at a time is what they say.  Some times it is one minute at a time.  Then all of a sudden you feel a little better and you think I can do this.😊  Then the shade comes down again 😞  It is hard to keep the negative thoughts out of your head.  That is why it is important to keep posting and reaching out for support.  I find reading the success stories will give me a boost.  Reach out to some of them,  some still are on line and will give you personal advice and encouragement. I think a good read is kenA he has not written his success story yet but just read his thread and reach out to him.  He will respond back.

Hang in there, we are all in this together.  We may not see and talk in person but we are not alone and can hold each other up♥️ 

[Johni]

Hi there. yesterday I reached 3.08 mg of cipralex. there has been no depression or anxiety in recent months. the reluctance, fatigue, and lack of motivation are still there. I hope everybody is fine. Regards John

[Johni]

Hi there. a small situation report. I am currently on 2.76mg cipralex. I deal with quite a few symptoms nonetheless I am functional. My sexual symptoms are getting worse and my feelings are almost gone. it feels all the same. i feel completely negative. I can almost only complain which is quite confusing. I do not feel a desire for excitement pleasure. i feel like a robot. it is as if kindness has disappeared from me. Empathy also disappeared from me.

[Johni]

Hi there. I noticed an interesting thing last week. someone else had a problem with not being able to imagine things, so to speak. For example, memorabilia. I know where and when I was but somehow I can’t imagine it. Then I tried something else, but somehow I can't evoke anything in my head. interesting.

[Johni]

 

Hello I thought it was time for a little situation report. I reached 2.5mg cipralex. so I'm over 3/4 of the way. wd has caught up a bit at the moment. but we are moving forward. strength and endurance to everyone

[Greatful]

@Johni

Thanks for the update.  Hang in there and slowly move forward. You will one day be drug free and writing your success story.🌞

[Johni]

@Greatful

Thank you 💪💪

[Johni]

Hi there. thought I'd post a little status report. I am currently on 2.15mg escitalopram. quite tolerable. a constant symptom is the complete lack of motivation and fatigue throughout the day. one thing that is interesting to me is that I always go to work with a bad stomach and feeling of well-being. I was on vacation for 1 week and, interestingly, I had no problems there. I don't really know where to put this.

[Johni]

Hi there. I hope everybody is fine. time for a little report. I am currently taking 1.85mg escitalopram. I don't have any physical symptoms, but I have more mental and emotional ones. I don't really feel any emotion. I am completely uninterested. nothing can bind you. unfortunately, I have a hard time with this. I hope everybody is fine .

[Johni]

Hi there. I would like to inquire. I have been off Cipralex for 3 years now. I am currently taking 1.75 mg in tablet form. Unfortunately, I can no longer accurately measure this quantity with a scale (0.023 mg tablet weight). the question would be because if I read correctly, escitalopram does not dissolve in water, if I were to make my own solution. should I shake it well before consumption? Thanks

[Johni]

Hi there. I am currently taking 1.7 milligrams of escitalopram. I would like to switch to self-made liquid. I read that it doesn't dissolve well in water. I would try the salt solution (9 grams of salt in 1000 ml of water). If I calculate correctly, if I dissolve a 10 mg tablet in 100 ml of saline, then 1 ml = 0.1 mg of escitalopram. I hope I calculated correctly

[angela9985]

Hi Johni! You are really strong to be in the position right now. If you are functional and involving in the life actively, could you elaborate a little bit about the fatigue? Do you have them for three years straight? It sounds very hard. And the lack of emotion. I had it when after I CTed mirtazepine, it is terrifying and I am almost not functional. How do you keep functional and push your life forward? Thank you so much!

[Johni]

Hi @angela9985. When I jumped from 10 milligrams to 5 milligrams once 3.5 years ago, I was absolutely not functional. Half a year after that, I started the slow gradual reduction from 10 milligrams to more. I sleep well, but I'm still tired, but bearable. Well, the lack of emotions is not easy to live with, especially since I live with my girlfriend. Actually, my life is rather stagnant at the moment. I work and try to keep myself busy. The only problem is that nothing binds me. Nothing makes me emotional. I rest as much as possible. I train 1-2 times a week. The TV is what keeps me the most. Feel free to ask if you have any questions. I send you hugs and patience

[angela9985]

7 hours ago, Johni said:

Hi @angela9985. When I jumped from 10 milligrams to 5 milligrams once 3.5 years ago, I was absolutely not functional. Half a year after that, I started the slow gradual reduction from 10 milligrams to more. I sleep well, but I'm still tired, but bearable. Well, the lack of emotions is not easy to live with, especially since I live with my girlfriend. Actually, my life is rather stagnant at the moment. I work and try to keep myself busy. The only problem is that nothing binds me. Nothing makes me emotional. I rest as much as possible. I train 1-2 times a week. The TV is what keeps me the most. Feel free to ask if you have any questions. I send you hugs and patience

Thank you so much Johni! Tbh it is a little upsetting to hear that even with a proper taper you still suffer from WDs, and they are not easy. You are so strong to keep going. May the force be with you.

[Johni]

Thanks @angela9985. I plan to finish the medication next year if everything goes well. Thanks. I wish you perseverance too.

[manymoretodays]

On 12/12/2022 at 3:17 AM, Johni said:

Hi there. I would like to inquire. I have been off Cipralex for 3 years now. I am currently taking 1.75 mg in tablet form. Unfortunately, I can no longer accurately measure this quantity with a scale (0.023 mg tablet weight). the question would be because if I read correctly, escitalopram does not dissolve in water, if I were to make my own solution. should I shake it well before consumption? Thanks

 

On 12/14/2022 at 4:20 AM, Johni said:

Hi there. I am currently taking 1.7 milligrams of escitalopram. I would like to switch to self-made liquid. I read that it doesn't dissolve well in water. I would try the salt solution (9 grams of salt in 1000 ml of water). If I calculate correctly, if I dissolve a 10 mg tablet in 100 ml of saline, then 1 ml = 0.1 mg of escitalopram. I hope I calculated correctly

 

Hi Johni, @Johni

I moved the first post quote back here to your Introduction.  And just quoted the second quote to have them to look at while I reply.

 

Yes you can make a suspension with the Cipralex(escitalopram).

If you are crushing it already to weigh out doses, it may further dissolve just a little......and then you could potentially do a suspension in water.  If shook well or stirred.

I do see you have found the topic on making liquids from tablet or capsules. Read the very first post there from Rhi.  It explains what they did and that it did work out okay. 

And I'm not sure how often Rhiannon checks in now.  Just occasionallyI think.

 

Or you could ask your prescriber to prescribe liquid, if it is available in your country.

 

And yes you could dissolve a 10 mg tablet in 100 mL and then that does give you 0.1 mg in each 1 mL.

You can make your own Saline Solution, as in the topic, or possible purchase some ready made.

Tips for tapering off escitalopram(Lexapro, Cipralex)

making your own suspension starts here:

 

Do-it-yourself liquid
People report that they can make their own liquid from Lexapro tablets and water.

It is sparingly soluble in water, see http://www.drugbank.ca/drugs/DB01175 -- stability (shelf-life of dilution) is unknown.

 

 Escitalopram oxalate occurs as a fine, white to slightly-yellow powder and is freely soluble in methanol and dimethyl sulfoxide (DMSO), soluble in isotonic saline solution, sparingly soluble in water and ethanol, slightly soluble in ethyl acetate, and insoluble in heptane. According to RxList,com.

 

Your best bet would be to use a homemade isotonic(normal saline) saline solution (9% salt in water) which is made by dissolving 9 grams(1.8 tsp) of table salt in 1000mL of water.  Preparing a Saline Solution  The NS(normal saline) should be good for up to a month to draw from.

Draw out or extract the amount of NS(normal saline) for your desired dilution, add to a separate, mixing vessel, preferably amber colored, and with a lid, then add in your escitalopram tablet or powdered tablet until it's dissolved.  Keep protected from light in the refrigerator, and best to remix a batch of your Lexapro(dissolved) at least every week.

 

See How to make a liquid from tablets or capsules

 

I would also suggest some degree of cross over when you go from solid form to liquid of the escitalopram.

CrossOver: Changing form(eg tablet to liquid) of drug OR chaging brand of same drug

At least try for 1/2 solid and 1/2 liquid for 3 to 7 days before going to full liquid.

If you CAN do the whole formula given in that first post......great, if not, do try to do some degree of it.

That way your body may better adjust to the change in absorption from the change to liquid suspension.

 

Okay.  Hope that helps. 

Best.  L, P, H, and G,

mmt

 

[Johni]

Hi @manymoretodays. thanks for moving it. I also asked the question here in my introduction, but you don't feel it answered him. then I will try to unlock it. Unfortunately, it is not available in liquid form in Hungary. only tablets for 10 and 20 milligrams. if I manage to dissolve it, then 1 tablet is enough for 4 days and I can reduce it much more easily. thank you very much.

[Johni]

unfortunately, I can no longer measure such a small portion accurately with a scale. then it's not good if I switch to a solution right away?

[manymoretodays]

Hi Johni,

Yes, I see you asked here as well. 

And you didn't do anything wrong.  Perhaps use a notification, or the @symbol when you have a direct tapering question.  You use the @ and then type in one of the moderators who is active.  Once you start typing the menu comes up and you can select the name.

 

Yes, you can switch over to home made liquid.

My caution was just that, if possible do part of your dose with the liquid, and part with the solid to make up your total daily dosage first.......so that you adjust okay to the change from solid(? put in a capsule or a piece of a pill) to liquid.

 

Your current dose is low, but perhaps you could do 1 mg in solid and 0.85 mg with the liquid to get your current dose(shown in your signature) of 1.85 mg first.

Don't taper when changing form of your drug.

You might feel a few bumps.

After a week or two if you feel adjusted to the above.

You could go to taking your whole dose in the home made liquid.

 

Once you adjust to the liquid, or after a month, you could, if feeling ready, then resume your taper.

 

If that is not doable at all, you can't measure 1 mg out with your scale, then I suppose you have to go right to the home made liquid.

 

I just wanted to give you the option of doing a "modified" cross over.

So, I hope that is clearer.  Your plan sounds really sound Johni.

 

Keep us updated.  Sorry your post here got missed by staff.

 

Okay?

L, P, H, and G,

Happy Holidays.  Are you celebrating in Hungary?  Hope so.

mmt

 

 

Edited December 18, 2022 by manymoretodays

[Johni]

Hi @manymoretodays     .all I could possibly do is measure out the tablet so far and then cut it in half. I take half and half dissolved.

[manymoretodays]

That sounds like a sound transition plan Johni.

Do that for 1 week.

And then go to all liquid.

 

Are you still on the 1.85 mg dose of Cipralex noted in your signature?

Just checking, as those don't always get updated.

Here's the link to get there when needing to update/edit:

AccountSettings/update/edits

[Johni]

@manymoretodays 1,69 mg 😊💪

[manymoretodays]

Okay.  Thank you.

Add it to your signature.  Use the link I gave you to get there, and just note the date and dose.

 

That's super Johni.  You are trucking right along.  Getting lower in dosage.

 

And then I found this as far as how you are feeling now too.

On 12/15/2022 at 2:05 AM, Johni said:

I sleep well, but I'm still tired, but bearable. Well, the lack of emotions is not easy to live with, especially since I live with my girlfriend. Actually, my life is rather stagnant at the moment. I work and try to keep myself busy. The only problem is that nothing binds me. Nothing makes me emotional. I rest as much as possible. I train 1-2 times a week.

 

I think you are doing good.  Don't let boredom make you decide to speed up your taper.  I think you will eventually get your emotions back and enthusiasm. 

You almost dropped a full 10% from the 1.85 mg dose, not quite.

Keep in mind too, that sometimes, some will taper by even less than 10% at the lower doses.

If needed.

Sounds like you reached tolerance with Cipralex is all.

Best to taper though.....still.

 

Keep us updated.  I'm sending good vibes for your switch to liquid.

 

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

[Johni]

@manymoretodays   I don't usually describe every reduction in the signature, because I reduced it very little by little. I reduced it from 1.76 mg to 1.69. I usually reduce the drug weight by no more than 0.001 or 0.002 grams at a time. but then from now on I will write everything in my signature. thank you for all the good wishes. I wish you all the best

[manymoretodays]

Thanks for clarifying Johni.

What are your usual intervals between tapers(reductions)?  Or how long between each taper?

[Johni]

@manymoretodays 

I do it by feel, but I usually reduce it every month

[manymoretodays]

Okay.  Copy that.

You can, work out the percentages too.

 

To figure out what a 10% taper is from the present dose, you just multiply by 0.90.

 

So presently you are at 1.69 mg of Cipralex(escitalopram)

And put the name of your drug in your signature too.  I just noticed you just have doses there.

 

Okay:

1.69 mg X 0.90= 1.52 mg which then is the 10% taper dose after 1.69 mg

 

To reduce by 5%, you multiply current dose by 0.95

And then to reduce by 2.5%, you multiply current dose by 0.975

 

Some do taper by less, at the final stages.....so don't fret if that is what you decide to do.  It's okay.

 

And thank you.  Do keep us updated here, and then ask if questions along the way, or if just needing support too....

 

L, P, H, and G,

mmt