NoMeaning25 Posted December 19, 2013 Author Share Posted December 19, 2013 I feel very lonely. I feel very unhappy too. Its just that i feel so sick to do anything about my situation. I feel extremely exhausted physically and mentally to do anything. Will this get better in time too? I feel completely run down emotionally, mentally and physically.... I just want to sleep and forget about everything. I feel too tired to even spreak sometimes. This doesnt sound normal to me... Was on Citalopram 20mg since Feb 2008 - switched to Paxil 20mg in August 2010 Tapered way too fast in April 2012 by skipping days. Taper completed in 6 weeks Tried prozac 20mg for 3 days - felt spaced out, not better. Tried 30mg Cymbalta for 2 days. SEVERE ADVERSE REACTION Antidepressant free since 14 August 2012 Birth control on and off during this time - Last taken 18 June 2017 - Morning after pill Started mainly using 0.5mg Xanax beginning 2016 for severe panic attacks and anxiety due to trauma Xanax on and off never more than 0.5mg at a time, never taking it 3 days in a row - used sparingly 6 Years antidepressant free - Still in severe withdrawal with over 60 symptoms Severe setback started May 2018 with no let up to date. Developed many new symptoms like tremors, inner vibrations, insomnia, visual distortions and dr/dp are 100x worse, i have severe sensitivity to movement, My dizziness and vertigo got worse and it now feels like im constantly rocking on a boat, my anxiety is sky high, suicidal idiation is back, i feel extremely brain damaged Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus mammaP Posted December 19, 2013 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 19, 2013 You need help to change your surroundings, it is a huge thing to do when you are well but seems impossible when you feel so sick. There is a support site that might be able to help where you are, but no-one can help unless they know what you are going through. http://www.southafrica.info/services/crisishelp.htm#women **I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge. Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem) 1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat 2002 effexor. Tapered March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads. Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013 Restarted taper Nov 2013 OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015 Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014 Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg July 2017 30mg. May 15 2018 25mg Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33 Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted December 19, 2013 Administrator Share Posted December 19, 2013 Medfree, please think of yourself as recovering. You must focus on taking care of yourself in every way you can. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus tezza Posted December 19, 2013 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 19, 2013 You will get better, just take care of yourself as Alto suggests. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1644-tezza-risperdal-withdrawal/ Seroquel and Mirtazipine Link to comment
Ellen042 Posted December 21, 2013 Share Posted December 21, 2013 MedFree, I'm so sorry I scared you. Just now saw your post. Only a psychologist, psychiatrist, or LPC can diagnose convergence reaction for certain. All I ever do is encourage people to seek help if I feel help is indicated, and for my patients, document visual symptoms pointing to the disorder. When I suspect abuse, I am required by law to report it for my patients. The least I could do for you on an internet site was to offer empathy and make a suggestion. I don't think anyone would jump to the conclusion on a website of diagnosing even if they were a licensed mental health care provider. That would be both risky and unprofessional. I hope you've found someone who can help you. In the meantime, Merry Christmas! Don't know for sure if you celebrate Christmas, but most Americans do and reach out to those in need more this time of year than year round. Still praying for you. Stay in touch. insomnia, anxiety, depression- since childhood lyme disease, dysautonomia, chiari malformation- dx 4/1997 nortriptyline- 75mg since childhood clonazepam- 3mg since 4/1997 trazodone-100mg since 4/2013, now tapering rotating antibiotics and antimalarials for lyme disease midodrine- 10mg for dysautonomia repeated skull surgeries for chiari malformation Link to comment
Ellen042 Posted December 21, 2013 Share Posted December 21, 2013 RebelMavan, so sorry I missed your post. I'll be praying for you too. I can't answer your question any more thoroughly than from an ocular perspective, and I'm not sure that's what you were asking anyway. No back to the main topics of this thread... insomnia, anxiety, depression- since childhood lyme disease, dysautonomia, chiari malformation- dx 4/1997 nortriptyline- 75mg since childhood clonazepam- 3mg since 4/1997 trazodone-100mg since 4/2013, now tapering rotating antibiotics and antimalarials for lyme disease midodrine- 10mg for dysautonomia repeated skull surgeries for chiari malformation Link to comment
NoMeaning25 Posted January 6, 2014 Author Share Posted January 6, 2014 I have these very strange symptoms and need to know if anyone has experienced this. Its been going on for longer than a year now. No let up of any of this - Extremely severe Fatigue (I sometimes feel too weak to talk, i cant do anything and just want to sleep. I can fall asleep readliy within seconds most of the time) - Dry sore throat - Nausea - Severe bloated stomach and pain - Frequent urination - Pelvic Pain - Lumps in breasts - Extremely severe apathy (I just dont care about anything anymore, not even personal hygiene. A big issue for me) - Left foot problem (My big toe feels dead. I get stabbing pains in the same foot, also feels like something is constantly biting me in this foot all the time. What is this) - Eyesight rapidly deteriorating - Dont ever feel thirsty - Just feel sick all the time like i have some serious disease or cancer Anyone have any of this for long period of time? Im beginning to worry something else might be wrong with me. Was on Citalopram 20mg since Feb 2008 - switched to Paxil 20mg in August 2010 Tapered way too fast in April 2012 by skipping days. Taper completed in 6 weeks Tried prozac 20mg for 3 days - felt spaced out, not better. Tried 30mg Cymbalta for 2 days. SEVERE ADVERSE REACTION Antidepressant free since 14 August 2012 Birth control on and off during this time - Last taken 18 June 2017 - Morning after pill Started mainly using 0.5mg Xanax beginning 2016 for severe panic attacks and anxiety due to trauma Xanax on and off never more than 0.5mg at a time, never taking it 3 days in a row - used sparingly 6 Years antidepressant free - Still in severe withdrawal with over 60 symptoms Severe setback started May 2018 with no let up to date. Developed many new symptoms like tremors, inner vibrations, insomnia, visual distortions and dr/dp are 100x worse, i have severe sensitivity to movement, My dizziness and vertigo got worse and it now feels like im constantly rocking on a boat, my anxiety is sky high, suicidal idiation is back, i feel extremely brain damaged Link to comment
NoMeaning25 Posted January 6, 2014 Author Share Posted January 6, 2014 Not doing well. Almost 17 months off. Things need to start changing now. 17 months and no windows is insane. Was on Citalopram 20mg since Feb 2008 - switched to Paxil 20mg in August 2010 Tapered way too fast in April 2012 by skipping days. Taper completed in 6 weeks Tried prozac 20mg for 3 days - felt spaced out, not better. Tried 30mg Cymbalta for 2 days. SEVERE ADVERSE REACTION Antidepressant free since 14 August 2012 Birth control on and off during this time - Last taken 18 June 2017 - Morning after pill Started mainly using 0.5mg Xanax beginning 2016 for severe panic attacks and anxiety due to trauma Xanax on and off never more than 0.5mg at a time, never taking it 3 days in a row - used sparingly 6 Years antidepressant free - Still in severe withdrawal with over 60 symptoms Severe setback started May 2018 with no let up to date. Developed many new symptoms like tremors, inner vibrations, insomnia, visual distortions and dr/dp are 100x worse, i have severe sensitivity to movement, My dizziness and vertigo got worse and it now feels like im constantly rocking on a boat, my anxiety is sky high, suicidal idiation is back, i feel extremely brain damaged Link to comment
NoMeaning25 Posted January 6, 2014 Author Share Posted January 6, 2014 Oh i forgot to mention this: - If i drink water, it makes me feel even worse. I feel feverish and my throat gets even worse. Also i then need to urinate alot more How much water am i ment to be drinking a day??? Ive heard 2L but now im not sure. I cannot possibly drink that much then i get like a detox effect. I drank 2.3L a while back and i had fever, chills, nausea, headache i felt very very sick now im wondering if it wasnt detoxifying Was on Citalopram 20mg since Feb 2008 - switched to Paxil 20mg in August 2010 Tapered way too fast in April 2012 by skipping days. Taper completed in 6 weeks Tried prozac 20mg for 3 days - felt spaced out, not better. Tried 30mg Cymbalta for 2 days. SEVERE ADVERSE REACTION Antidepressant free since 14 August 2012 Birth control on and off during this time - Last taken 18 June 2017 - Morning after pill Started mainly using 0.5mg Xanax beginning 2016 for severe panic attacks and anxiety due to trauma Xanax on and off never more than 0.5mg at a time, never taking it 3 days in a row - used sparingly 6 Years antidepressant free - Still in severe withdrawal with over 60 symptoms Severe setback started May 2018 with no let up to date. Developed many new symptoms like tremors, inner vibrations, insomnia, visual distortions and dr/dp are 100x worse, i have severe sensitivity to movement, My dizziness and vertigo got worse and it now feels like im constantly rocking on a boat, my anxiety is sky high, suicidal idiation is back, i feel extremely brain damaged Link to comment
Bellisimo Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 my tip for you is to go to doc and take body tests and see if they find the tests normal you can be assure this is withdraws Have u done that? 2007 - 2013: was on citalopram (tried to quit a few times, never worked, always went back on. max dose 40mg) 2012-2013: was tapering my citalopram all down to 2,5 mg then quit.2013/aug: Took my last pill W/D hit me bad after a few weeks off my medicine. 2014/August: 12 months off (much improved) 2015/April: 20months off. ( much improved, still some symtoms comes in waves, but not so intense.) 2015/june: 22months off. FELT different than before, all shakings suddenly stopped, feel much better. a fantastic feeling! 2016/Feb : 2 years and 6 months off, END of my suffering. I feel perfectly fine and back to normal. 2018/Oct: Iam still feeling great. It is hard to believe my own story when I read back, what I went through! Link to comment
dunerbug Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 I've dealt with a lot of what's on your list. I'm no expert, but it sounds very withdrawal related. I really understand how you feel and I'm sorry you have to experience this too. Started Fluoxetine Jan. 2010 Tried to go off of it in Sept. 2010 Weaned too fast and was back on it by Nov. 2010 Didn't work as good the second time around. Started to wean again in Nov. 2011 and was off for good by April? 2012 Link to comment
dunerbug Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 I want to touch on Bellisimo's advice to you. I've had tons of blood work done and other tests as well, though this process. I've been ordered by a neurologist to have an MRI done. So when I have enough money to have one, I will. I'm almost positive that the MRI will show nothing bad, but at least I know I tried my best to figure all this mess out. It will be to solidify what I feel is happening and maybe to gain some more acceptance of where I am in the process. Started Fluoxetine Jan. 2010 Tried to go off of it in Sept. 2010 Weaned too fast and was back on it by Nov. 2010 Didn't work as good the second time around. Started to wean again in Nov. 2011 and was off for good by April? 2012 Link to comment
dunerbug Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 As far as the water. Eight 8 oz glasses at the minimum. I suspect that I am sensitive to fluoride since withdrawing. So I buy bottled water that doesn't contain fluoride. There are days I have to force myself to drink. Since I've switched to bottles, I notice I'm drinking more. I wonder if it's because it's more convenient? Darn lack of motivation thing. Interestingly, my urination issue improves with more water. I'm still peeing a lot but when I'm well hydrated, it seems like I empty my bladder better. Started Fluoxetine Jan. 2010 Tried to go off of it in Sept. 2010 Weaned too fast and was back on it by Nov. 2010 Didn't work as good the second time around. Started to wean again in Nov. 2011 and was off for good by April? 2012 Link to comment
Ellen042 Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 It's hard to comment on symptoms that sound vague and span most body systems. Perhaps a doctor could ask you more specific questions to jog your memory or to rule out physical illness. Either way, I wouldn't fear having a physical illness, as many have readily available cures. In the meantime, if you think of more symptoms, please let us know. Also, when did the symptoms first start? Of course if they all started during or after drug withdrawal, withdrawal syndrome is more likely. I have most of your symptoms except for never feeling thirsty, but I have other symptoms (and signs) too which led to the correct diagnosis. Also, mine weren't brought on by drug withdrawal, so I can't write my own off as withdrawal syndrome. Be aware as well that doctors often write off vague symptoms spanning many body systems as a sign of depression. Sure you don't want to go down that road again! insomnia, anxiety, depression- since childhood lyme disease, dysautonomia, chiari malformation- dx 4/1997 nortriptyline- 75mg since childhood clonazepam- 3mg since 4/1997 trazodone-100mg since 4/2013, now tapering rotating antibiotics and antimalarials for lyme disease midodrine- 10mg for dysautonomia repeated skull surgeries for chiari malformation Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted January 7, 2014 Administrator Share Posted January 7, 2014 It sounds like you might have kidney problems. Please get this checked out medically. About withdrawal symptoms http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/603-what-is-antidepressant-withdrawal-syndrome/ This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
NoMeaning25 Posted January 7, 2014 Author Share Posted January 7, 2014 Hi Alto. They tested my kidneys last month. Came back perfect. My liver aswell. My throat is very sore this morning and my glands all around my neck is swollen and very painful. Could this maybe be Mono????? It sounds like you might have kidney problems. Please get this checked out medically. About withdrawal symptoms http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/603-what-is-antidepressant-withdrawal-syndrome/ Was on Citalopram 20mg since Feb 2008 - switched to Paxil 20mg in August 2010 Tapered way too fast in April 2012 by skipping days. Taper completed in 6 weeks Tried prozac 20mg for 3 days - felt spaced out, not better. Tried 30mg Cymbalta for 2 days. SEVERE ADVERSE REACTION Antidepressant free since 14 August 2012 Birth control on and off during this time - Last taken 18 June 2017 - Morning after pill Started mainly using 0.5mg Xanax beginning 2016 for severe panic attacks and anxiety due to trauma Xanax on and off never more than 0.5mg at a time, never taking it 3 days in a row - used sparingly 6 Years antidepressant free - Still in severe withdrawal with over 60 symptoms Severe setback started May 2018 with no let up to date. Developed many new symptoms like tremors, inner vibrations, insomnia, visual distortions and dr/dp are 100x worse, i have severe sensitivity to movement, My dizziness and vertigo got worse and it now feels like im constantly rocking on a boat, my anxiety is sky high, suicidal idiation is back, i feel extremely brain damaged Link to comment
NoMeaning25 Posted January 7, 2014 Author Share Posted January 7, 2014 Now im terrified i have Mono! Whats going to happen to me then? Oh no :'( I am constantly sick. Every single day its something new. Bladder infection, massive breast lump with pain for months its not going away, swollen stomach, pelvic pain, back pain, severe fatigue....etc etc etc etc I cant take this anymore i really really cant i have NO support my mother gets so upset if i tell her i feel sick, or this is the problem today. Everyone thinks I am lying, but i am not i am suffering very severely. My boyfriend doesnt want to listen too. I have no one to talk to anymore :'( I dont know what to do anymore i dont see a way out of this mess i really really dont Please what tests can i ask for what could be wrong with me :'( Was on Citalopram 20mg since Feb 2008 - switched to Paxil 20mg in August 2010 Tapered way too fast in April 2012 by skipping days. Taper completed in 6 weeks Tried prozac 20mg for 3 days - felt spaced out, not better. Tried 30mg Cymbalta for 2 days. SEVERE ADVERSE REACTION Antidepressant free since 14 August 2012 Birth control on and off during this time - Last taken 18 June 2017 - Morning after pill Started mainly using 0.5mg Xanax beginning 2016 for severe panic attacks and anxiety due to trauma Xanax on and off never more than 0.5mg at a time, never taking it 3 days in a row - used sparingly 6 Years antidepressant free - Still in severe withdrawal with over 60 symptoms Severe setback started May 2018 with no let up to date. Developed many new symptoms like tremors, inner vibrations, insomnia, visual distortions and dr/dp are 100x worse, i have severe sensitivity to movement, My dizziness and vertigo got worse and it now feels like im constantly rocking on a boat, my anxiety is sky high, suicidal idiation is back, i feel extremely brain damaged Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Petunia Posted January 7, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted January 7, 2014 I'm sorry you are still so sick, it must be very upsetting to have people not believe you, I feel the same way, having an 'invisible' illness is so much harder than one with clear evidence and social understanding. Some of your recent symptoms could suggest mono, but you could also have the flu. There is no reason to be terrified, even if you did have mono, its generally not serious and goes away by itself in most cases. You could ask to be tested by you doctor to confirm it if you thinks its possible. Here is a fact sheet about it: http://www.health.ny.gov/diseases/communicable/mononucleosis/fact_sheet.htm You probably should get the breast lump checked out, if you have had it for months and there is pain. Please do what you need to do to take care of your health, I hope you feel better soon. I'm not a doctor. My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one. My Introduction Thread Full Drug and Withdrawal History Brief Summary Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects 2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010 Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal) May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins. Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens. Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days. April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close. VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from? VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made? VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes? VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects? VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes Link to comment
NoMeaning25 Posted January 10, 2014 Author Share Posted January 10, 2014 I could really need some support now. Im doing very badly and i am seriously depressed. I dont believe im going to get better. I am very negative and its not like me. I just want this suffering to end. Why do i need to suffer so much??? I trully believed that i would be feeling better by now (17 months off) i am very very sad. I need someone to talk to please. I need encouragement to keep going. please im trying to hold on but dont know for how long i can do this :'( Was on Citalopram 20mg since Feb 2008 - switched to Paxil 20mg in August 2010 Tapered way too fast in April 2012 by skipping days. Taper completed in 6 weeks Tried prozac 20mg for 3 days - felt spaced out, not better. Tried 30mg Cymbalta for 2 days. SEVERE ADVERSE REACTION Antidepressant free since 14 August 2012 Birth control on and off during this time - Last taken 18 June 2017 - Morning after pill Started mainly using 0.5mg Xanax beginning 2016 for severe panic attacks and anxiety due to trauma Xanax on and off never more than 0.5mg at a time, never taking it 3 days in a row - used sparingly 6 Years antidepressant free - Still in severe withdrawal with over 60 symptoms Severe setback started May 2018 with no let up to date. Developed many new symptoms like tremors, inner vibrations, insomnia, visual distortions and dr/dp are 100x worse, i have severe sensitivity to movement, My dizziness and vertigo got worse and it now feels like im constantly rocking on a boat, my anxiety is sky high, suicidal idiation is back, i feel extremely brain damaged Link to comment
NoMeaning25 Posted January 10, 2014 Author Share Posted January 10, 2014 It was a throat infection. Im on Penicillin V, Feeling much better. Just very worried about the breast lump. How common is cancer in a 25 year old? Im freaking out so badly. I hope i dont have cancer ontop of this hell :'( Was on Citalopram 20mg since Feb 2008 - switched to Paxil 20mg in August 2010 Tapered way too fast in April 2012 by skipping days. Taper completed in 6 weeks Tried prozac 20mg for 3 days - felt spaced out, not better. Tried 30mg Cymbalta for 2 days. SEVERE ADVERSE REACTION Antidepressant free since 14 August 2012 Birth control on and off during this time - Last taken 18 June 2017 - Morning after pill Started mainly using 0.5mg Xanax beginning 2016 for severe panic attacks and anxiety due to trauma Xanax on and off never more than 0.5mg at a time, never taking it 3 days in a row - used sparingly 6 Years antidepressant free - Still in severe withdrawal with over 60 symptoms Severe setback started May 2018 with no let up to date. Developed many new symptoms like tremors, inner vibrations, insomnia, visual distortions and dr/dp are 100x worse, i have severe sensitivity to movement, My dizziness and vertigo got worse and it now feels like im constantly rocking on a boat, my anxiety is sky high, suicidal idiation is back, i feel extremely brain damaged Link to comment
NoMeaning25 Posted January 10, 2014 Author Share Posted January 10, 2014 Alto, if my kidneys came back fiine, what else could it be??? Was on Citalopram 20mg since Feb 2008 - switched to Paxil 20mg in August 2010 Tapered way too fast in April 2012 by skipping days. Taper completed in 6 weeks Tried prozac 20mg for 3 days - felt spaced out, not better. Tried 30mg Cymbalta for 2 days. SEVERE ADVERSE REACTION Antidepressant free since 14 August 2012 Birth control on and off during this time - Last taken 18 June 2017 - Morning after pill Started mainly using 0.5mg Xanax beginning 2016 for severe panic attacks and anxiety due to trauma Xanax on and off never more than 0.5mg at a time, never taking it 3 days in a row - used sparingly 6 Years antidepressant free - Still in severe withdrawal with over 60 symptoms Severe setback started May 2018 with no let up to date. Developed many new symptoms like tremors, inner vibrations, insomnia, visual distortions and dr/dp are 100x worse, i have severe sensitivity to movement, My dizziness and vertigo got worse and it now feels like im constantly rocking on a boat, my anxiety is sky high, suicidal idiation is back, i feel extremely brain damaged Link to comment
lespaul19 Posted January 10, 2014 Share Posted January 10, 2014 what sypmtoms do you have now that you never had pre meds? have you noticed any improvement at all in the 17 months off? ive read from a lot of people that they start seeing great improvement at around 18-24 months off, so please keep holding on and better days will come around 2000-2001 10mg Paxil2001-2012 75mg effexor2012-2013 37.5mg effexorc/t effexor early oct, prozac for 10mg 7-8 days, off all meds until reinstating effexor 37.5mg nov 12th Link to comment
NoMeaning25 Posted January 10, 2014 Author Share Posted January 10, 2014 Everything in my signature. I had no symptoms on meds. I am holding onto the 24 month mark. I have seen NO improvements what so ever Was on Citalopram 20mg since Feb 2008 - switched to Paxil 20mg in August 2010 Tapered way too fast in April 2012 by skipping days. Taper completed in 6 weeks Tried prozac 20mg for 3 days - felt spaced out, not better. Tried 30mg Cymbalta for 2 days. SEVERE ADVERSE REACTION Antidepressant free since 14 August 2012 Birth control on and off during this time - Last taken 18 June 2017 - Morning after pill Started mainly using 0.5mg Xanax beginning 2016 for severe panic attacks and anxiety due to trauma Xanax on and off never more than 0.5mg at a time, never taking it 3 days in a row - used sparingly 6 Years antidepressant free - Still in severe withdrawal with over 60 symptoms Severe setback started May 2018 with no let up to date. Developed many new symptoms like tremors, inner vibrations, insomnia, visual distortions and dr/dp are 100x worse, i have severe sensitivity to movement, My dizziness and vertigo got worse and it now feels like im constantly rocking on a boat, my anxiety is sky high, suicidal idiation is back, i feel extremely brain damaged Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted January 10, 2014 Administrator Share Posted January 10, 2014 Hang in there, Medfree. You're very young, you will heal. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
NoMeaning25 Posted January 17, 2014 Author Share Posted January 17, 2014 Hi Alto, what tests can be done to check my kidneys? They did some tests and said my kidneys are fine but maybe they did incorrect testing? If my kidneys are fine, what else could be the problem? It sounds like you might have kidney problems. Please get this checked out medically. About withdrawal symptoms http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/603-what-is-antidepressant-withdrawal-syndrome/ Was on Citalopram 20mg since Feb 2008 - switched to Paxil 20mg in August 2010 Tapered way too fast in April 2012 by skipping days. Taper completed in 6 weeks Tried prozac 20mg for 3 days - felt spaced out, not better. Tried 30mg Cymbalta for 2 days. SEVERE ADVERSE REACTION Antidepressant free since 14 August 2012 Birth control on and off during this time - Last taken 18 June 2017 - Morning after pill Started mainly using 0.5mg Xanax beginning 2016 for severe panic attacks and anxiety due to trauma Xanax on and off never more than 0.5mg at a time, never taking it 3 days in a row - used sparingly 6 Years antidepressant free - Still in severe withdrawal with over 60 symptoms Severe setback started May 2018 with no let up to date. Developed many new symptoms like tremors, inner vibrations, insomnia, visual distortions and dr/dp are 100x worse, i have severe sensitivity to movement, My dizziness and vertigo got worse and it now feels like im constantly rocking on a boat, my anxiety is sky high, suicidal idiation is back, i feel extremely brain damaged Link to comment
NoMeaning25 Posted January 17, 2014 Author Share Posted January 17, 2014 Thank you Alto. I am holding on. Im just very confused. I am having strange symptoms that point cancer (Really) but ive been to the doctors and they dont see anything. Let me explain: I have a large, hard, painful lump in my one breast. Its been here for +6 months. I had an Ultrasound. They cant see anything. The radiologist felt it as its very easily palpable and even visible sometimes, but the scan doesnt show a speckle. She said its nothing to worry about. I am worried! I have to cold turkey my birth control pills unfortunately to see if these problems clear up. I have no choice, but luckily the strenght of the pill im on now is very very light, less that half the strenght of my previous one. Im stopping it tonight. Not a good idea i know, but my doctor said it is imperitive i do this. The other symptoms im having mimics ovarian cancer identically. Every single symptom of ovarian cancer i have.... They did an ultrasound but saw no masses. Can withdrawal mimic cancer????????? Im 25 and have an extreme cancer fear and i mean extreme Was on Citalopram 20mg since Feb 2008 - switched to Paxil 20mg in August 2010 Tapered way too fast in April 2012 by skipping days. Taper completed in 6 weeks Tried prozac 20mg for 3 days - felt spaced out, not better. Tried 30mg Cymbalta for 2 days. SEVERE ADVERSE REACTION Antidepressant free since 14 August 2012 Birth control on and off during this time - Last taken 18 June 2017 - Morning after pill Started mainly using 0.5mg Xanax beginning 2016 for severe panic attacks and anxiety due to trauma Xanax on and off never more than 0.5mg at a time, never taking it 3 days in a row - used sparingly 6 Years antidepressant free - Still in severe withdrawal with over 60 symptoms Severe setback started May 2018 with no let up to date. Developed many new symptoms like tremors, inner vibrations, insomnia, visual distortions and dr/dp are 100x worse, i have severe sensitivity to movement, My dizziness and vertigo got worse and it now feels like im constantly rocking on a boat, my anxiety is sky high, suicidal idiation is back, i feel extremely brain damaged Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted January 18, 2014 Administrator Share Posted January 18, 2014 You can get a second opinion or maybe even more about the lump. However, it might be something rather benign, like a cyst. It does seem odd they never tried to get a tissue sample. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
NoMeaning25 Posted February 5, 2014 Author Share Posted February 5, 2014 I made it to the 18 months mark, 18 months med free. I haven't seen any improvements and i am very very scared. I am 25 years old. I took paxil 20mg for 4 years and had a severe adverse reaction when trying to reinstate. I have Severe DR/DP, Dizziness, heart palpitations, nausea, brain fog, no memory, severe apathy and anhedonia, severe excruciating fatigue, cant think, cant remember, massive Stomach issues, sinus problems, i just feel deep deep sadness all the time i am still crying non-stop, anger, extremely severe visual distortions, head pressure, anxiety, fear, depression. I don't feel like me any more. I feel like i don't exist and don't know what's happening around me.I have a massive massive fear of dying and that i have cancer. Massive. It never lets up. I have a lump in my breast and i am so scared its cancer. I have all the symptoms of ovarian cancer so i am terrified i have that too. I have bladder issues, I need to pee frequently and sometimes my cultures come back positive. I'm fearing i have interstitial cystitis...What should i do? I cant live like this any more. On top of all of this, i am being verbally and emotionally abused on a daily basis by my boyfriend and i have no strength to leave him. I am severely ill. I also have to deal with financial problems and my mothers health is going downhill. She's all i have left.How the hell can it be that after 18 months I'm still in this condition? Suffering like this for so long is making me not want to live any more, especially because of the fear of cancer and the abuse from my boyfriend.Please if there is anyone who can give me advise, i really need it. Please Was on Citalopram 20mg since Feb 2008 - switched to Paxil 20mg in August 2010 Tapered way too fast in April 2012 by skipping days. Taper completed in 6 weeks Tried prozac 20mg for 3 days - felt spaced out, not better. Tried 30mg Cymbalta for 2 days. SEVERE ADVERSE REACTION Antidepressant free since 14 August 2012 Birth control on and off during this time - Last taken 18 June 2017 - Morning after pill Started mainly using 0.5mg Xanax beginning 2016 for severe panic attacks and anxiety due to trauma Xanax on and off never more than 0.5mg at a time, never taking it 3 days in a row - used sparingly 6 Years antidepressant free - Still in severe withdrawal with over 60 symptoms Severe setback started May 2018 with no let up to date. Developed many new symptoms like tremors, inner vibrations, insomnia, visual distortions and dr/dp are 100x worse, i have severe sensitivity to movement, My dizziness and vertigo got worse and it now feels like im constantly rocking on a boat, my anxiety is sky high, suicidal idiation is back, i feel extremely brain damaged Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus mammaP Posted February 5, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 5, 2014 Hi Medfree, didn't you have tests for the ovarian cancer possibility? You are very scared and that is understandable. Have you had the breast lump checked out yet? If not then that must be dealt with. The longer you leave it the more distressed you will become. I believe the ratio is over 90% of breast lumps are benign but you won't know until it is checked. Please go to the doctor ASAP. Only YOU can end the abuse, are you living with your mum Is he there too? There are ways to get out of there and there is help available but you have to reach out and take that help. Withdrawal is sheer hell and stress makes it 100 times worse. I am really sorry you are in this situation, you need help to get out of the relationship but you are the only person who can make it happen. I had to do it with 3 children, and was literally on the streets with nowhere to go except a police station, they helped and I got away. You can do it too, please just DO IT. I know it's hard, and especially when you feel so ill but it can be done. I hope you can find a way out of this and be able to cope with the withdrawal that is obviously a huge part of your problems. And go to the doctor, he/she may even be able to put you in touch with someone who can help with your domestic abuse. **I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge. Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem) 1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat 2002 effexor. Tapered March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads. Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013 Restarted taper Nov 2013 OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015 Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014 Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg July 2017 30mg. May 15 2018 25mg Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33 Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus mammaP Posted February 5, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 5, 2014 Sorry Medfree, I missed your earlier post that you have had both the lump and the ovarian symptoms checked out. I agree with Alto, you will get better but really need to get away from the abuse. I really hope you can find the strength to do it soon. **I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge. Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem) 1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat 2002 effexor. Tapered March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads. Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013 Restarted taper Nov 2013 OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015 Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014 Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg July 2017 30mg. May 15 2018 25mg Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33 Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Petunia Posted February 6, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 6, 2014 I'm sorry you are still suffering like this Medfree. Its very difficult to recover from any illness when ongoing stress is attacking the body. Domestic abuse from a partner is an ongoing source of stress, even for someone not sick. I was in a similar situation and had to make it a priority to escape, I know how frightening and difficult it can be. Abusive personalities rarely change, usually it gets worse. Reach out for help from local community services if there are no friends or family members to help. I wish we could do more to help, but this is an online forum so there is a limit to what we can do, please take care of yourself, you deserve to have a happy, peaceful healthy life. I'm not a doctor. My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one. My Introduction Thread Full Drug and Withdrawal History Brief Summary Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects 2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010 Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal) May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins. Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens. Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days. April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close. VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from? VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made? VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes? VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects? VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Rhiannon Posted February 6, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 6, 2014 Medfree, I don't know about where you live, but in the US most cities have shelters for women who are being abused, and they generally offer group counseling and free emergency counseling and information. I'm so sorry for your suffering. I was in an abusive marriage for 11 years and I know how debilitating it can be. It was amazing to me how much better I felt once I managed to get out of there, after a while. Your self-image and self-esteem are probably badly warped and unrealistic. Best to you! Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010. Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea. Feb 15 2010: 300 mg Neurontin 200 Lamictal 10 Celexa 0.65 Xanax and 5 mg Ambien Feb 10 2014: 62 Lamictal 1.1 Celexa 0.135 Xanax 1.8 Valium Feb 10 2015: 50 Lamictal 0.875 Celexa 0.11 Xanax 1.5 Valium Feb 15 2016: 47.5 Lamictal 0.75 Celexa 0.0875 Xanax 1.42 Valium 2/12/20 12 0.045 0.007 1 May 2021 7 0.01 0.0037 1 Feb 2022 6 0!!! 0.00167 0.98 2.5 mg Ambien Oct 2022 4.5 mg Lamictal (off Celexa, off Xanax) 0.95 Valium Ambien, 1/4 to 1/2 of a 5 mg tablet I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion. Link to comment
NoMeaning25 Posted February 27, 2014 Author Share Posted February 27, 2014 I'm at 18.5 months and worse. I have developed a severe from of apathy, depression and anhedonia. I have lost all hope now. I don't care about anything any more, i am so depressed i just cry and cry all day long. I think i might have had several mental break downs and it has taken its toll. I haven't smiled or laughed in 16 months. No happiness, no improvements, I give up Was on Citalopram 20mg since Feb 2008 - switched to Paxil 20mg in August 2010 Tapered way too fast in April 2012 by skipping days. Taper completed in 6 weeks Tried prozac 20mg for 3 days - felt spaced out, not better. Tried 30mg Cymbalta for 2 days. SEVERE ADVERSE REACTION Antidepressant free since 14 August 2012 Birth control on and off during this time - Last taken 18 June 2017 - Morning after pill Started mainly using 0.5mg Xanax beginning 2016 for severe panic attacks and anxiety due to trauma Xanax on and off never more than 0.5mg at a time, never taking it 3 days in a row - used sparingly 6 Years antidepressant free - Still in severe withdrawal with over 60 symptoms Severe setback started May 2018 with no let up to date. Developed many new symptoms like tremors, inner vibrations, insomnia, visual distortions and dr/dp are 100x worse, i have severe sensitivity to movement, My dizziness and vertigo got worse and it now feels like im constantly rocking on a boat, my anxiety is sky high, suicidal idiation is back, i feel extremely brain damaged Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Petunia Posted March 4, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted March 4, 2014 Hi Medfree, Just checking in to see how you are doing now? I'm sorry that this has been going on so long for you, I suspect that the stress from other issues is probably a factor. Thinking about you and hoping you get a window soon, hang in there. Petu. I'm not a doctor. My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one. My Introduction Thread Full Drug and Withdrawal History Brief Summary Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects 2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010 Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal) May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins. Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens. Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days. April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close. VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from? VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made? VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes? VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects? VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted March 4, 2014 Administrator Share Posted March 4, 2014 screen name changed upon request This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
NoMeaning25 Posted March 11, 2014 Author Share Posted March 11, 2014 19 Months off. Still experiencing no signs of relief what so ever. I feel like i am doing worse. Was on Citalopram 20mg since Feb 2008 - switched to Paxil 20mg in August 2010 Tapered way too fast in April 2012 by skipping days. Taper completed in 6 weeks Tried prozac 20mg for 3 days - felt spaced out, not better. Tried 30mg Cymbalta for 2 days. SEVERE ADVERSE REACTION Antidepressant free since 14 August 2012 Birth control on and off during this time - Last taken 18 June 2017 - Morning after pill Started mainly using 0.5mg Xanax beginning 2016 for severe panic attacks and anxiety due to trauma Xanax on and off never more than 0.5mg at a time, never taking it 3 days in a row - used sparingly 6 Years antidepressant free - Still in severe withdrawal with over 60 symptoms Severe setback started May 2018 with no let up to date. Developed many new symptoms like tremors, inner vibrations, insomnia, visual distortions and dr/dp are 100x worse, i have severe sensitivity to movement, My dizziness and vertigo got worse and it now feels like im constantly rocking on a boat, my anxiety is sky high, suicidal idiation is back, i feel extremely brain damaged Link to comment
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