Littlegrandma Posted October 9, 2017 Author Share Posted October 9, 2017 Right now I'm playing toy blast and panda pop. They get more difficult at each level so have to use the brain a bit. I should be reading but I just can't comprehend the words yet. A few years ago , I played scramble with friends. Then my outdated phone would not update so I lost the game. It's got a new name now. We should play that one against each other. I talked to a few people from around the world on a regular basis. I got to know a lot about their lives, kids , jobs. They became friends. They probably think I'm dead. I play games a lot now but I used to play just occasionally at night when Paul would watch tv, usually sports. I'm not a big tv fan. I just like it as background noise. It's only 9:30 in the morning but I feel I'm wasting the day. I am! Still hoping for relief. It's 80 and sunny again. Would love to enjoy the day instead of sitting inside. My robot vacuum is working so I feel like I'm being productive. Ha Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 9, 2017 Author Share Posted October 9, 2017 And oh. My bad. I should mention the game Scroodles that my son in law developed. He is a video game designer. He made that one on his own when he was between companies. There's not as many levels as he would like. Madelyn came along and there was not much money or time left to get as far as he would have liked. Give it a try and tell me what you think. And give it a good rating regardless. Haha. Thanks Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 9, 2017 Share Posted October 9, 2017 Hi lg it is now 7.4o and I am very tired. Cooked a roast for all of us and now collapsed on settee with my iPad. The baby is getting more and more determined so spend most of my time distracting him. It was yet another grey rainy day so couldn’t get outside which keeps him occupied for a little while. I have had the anxiety and bowel cramping all day and think I needed a quiet day to try and balance again but wasn’t to be. Hard day today and frightened it won’t get better again. I am downloading scroodles as we speak. Have played toy blast and enjoyed it. I still play candy crush, Emily games, Wordscape, peak, (a brain training game). Shuffle cats, inside out, and my favourite at the moment is cooking craze I am addicted. What’s the game called now that you used to play and yes we can take each other on with our confused brains it could be funny. How have you been today, when do you have the children again. I have Jude all day Thursday as Luisa is at a business meeting in London and Tony is at a funeral at 11.00 until about 3, I expect. Have to get my act together for that and hopefully clean my house before that. Today no housework apart from loos etc as they were here before I had got into any gear at all. Big hugs 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 9, 2017 Author Share Posted October 9, 2017 Hi Im sick of being frightened. It consumes me most days. Hard to imagine there's an end insight to this hell after such a long time. Wishful thinking..... I put on makeup and did my hair thinking I'd feel better. Not so much. Nausea, headache etc all still there. I don't watch the kids til tomorrow but I'm meeting Lauren at my moms now to give her a hand with them so she can help big grandma with something. Lauren and Jim also have a funeral and visitation thurs night and Friday morning so I'll have the kids then too. I hope you feel good tomorrow, but you better lay low anyway. Don't do housework or anything. Just rest!! Maybe you do too much when you feel good. I know we want to make up for lost time. I just heard about cooking craze yesterday. I'll have to check it out. I guess the new name for the other is word streak with friends. I'll check it out later. Have to run. My brother wants me to watch the Cub game with him. Paul's sleeping anyway. Then I meet with my therapist at 7. I scheduled an appt with a hypnotherapist for next Monday. He's pricey but going to work on the smoking issue and anxiety. Cant hurt. Hugs and 🤞🏻 Hoping you get relief now that you're not chasing your little guy Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Flowers Posted October 9, 2017 Share Posted October 9, 2017 Hi lg You seem to be doing all you can to help yourself like doing your hair and makeup. Trying a Hypnotherapist might help you too - I really hope so. Hope you get a break soon. Love and hugs Flowers xxx 15 yrs on 20 to 30 mgs CITALOPRAM. MAY 2014 Increased to 40 mgs per day.SEPT/NOV 2014 tapered in 6 weeks down to 10 mgs as per Dr instructions due to violent nightmares/palpitations.Given Noctamid (lormetazepam) to help with anxiety. On average took 2mg per day for 8 weeks.No taper was advised.DEC 2014 WD severe. Nervous tic in eyes and limbs, muscle pain,fluct temp, weakness, dep and anxiety, nausea, giddy, unstable when walking. Different Dr suggested taking 20mgs CIT. BROMAZEPAM 3mgs up to 3 x daily for anxiety.DEC 9 2014 Updose CIT to 30mgs. Only taking BROMAZEPAM in emergency.DEC 31 2014 Settling at 30mg CIT - helping with depression. No Brom for 2wks.Found SA.APR 2015 Trying to stabilise on 30mgs CIT. JAN 2016 Started Cit Taper reducing by 5% per month. 28.5 mgs FEB Taper held bereavement. APR Taper resumed 27mgs . MAY 25.50 mgs . JUNE 24 mgs . JULY I stupidly mixed up my BP meds with CIT. Consequently took no CIT for 3 days and doubled my BP meds. Waiting for the fallout....Holding for a while until any chance of repercussions have abated. SEPT taper resumed to 22.5 mgs . OCT 21 mgs .NOV 19.95 mgs DEC crashed. 2017: FEB 3rd updose to 20.5 mgs to try to stabilise.FEB.switched over to 75mgs of Venlafaxine XR for 3 weeks.Too stimulating so switching back to Cit. 12 March 37.5 Ven and 20 Cit. 21 March 18mg Ven 20mg Cit. 4 April 9mg Ven 20mg Cit. Xanax .50mg when needed. 13 April 0 mgs Ven, 20mg Citalopram. Xanax .50 mg per day. 5 May reinstated a small amount of Ven to stabilize 1 mg twice a day. 20 mg Citalopram at night. Xanax .25 mg twice per day.Other Meds: Losartan (BP)Started 1993 at 50 mgs at night. Seretide (Asthma) Started 1996 at 1 puff twice a day. Jan 2019 Antibiotic Ceclor 500mgs twice a day for bronchitis and Atrovent 2ml capsules twice a day for asthma. Finished the course of both Jan 17. XANAX Jan 27 - Feb 3 2019 Failed Valium Crossover. Feb 14 2019 Updosed Xanax by .0625 Feb 17 2019 Decreased Xanax by .0625. Back to .50mg daily. Update Xanax 28.2.20 tapered to .1250 mg 8am .25 mg midnight. Update Xanax 11.8.21 tapered to .25 mg at night. Current Meds 28.2.19: CITALOPRAM 20mg taken at midnight. VENLAFAXINE .9 mg twice a day at 8am and 10pm. XANAX .50 mg split into 4 doses per day. 10am .0625mg / 2pm .1250mg/ 6pm .0625mg / midnight .25mg.Update 10.8.22 .25 mg at night. LOSARTAN 50 mgs taken at midnight. SERETIDE 1 puff taken at 8am and 10pm. 7.7.19 VENLAFAXINE UPDATE: Started tapering 10% every 4 weeks. Currently .4 mg twice a day at 8am and 10 pm. 2.9.19 .36 mg x 2. 1.10.19 .32 mg x 2. 26.11.19 .29 mg x2. 26.12.19 .26 mg x 2. 23.1.20 .23 mg x 2. 20.2.20 .21 mg x2.20.3.20 .19 mg x 2. 21.4.20 .17 mg x 2. 19.5.20 .13 mg x 2. 18.6.20 .11mg x 2 .18.7.20.10 mg x 2.1.9.20.09 mg x 2. 30.9. 20 .08 mg x 2. 1.11.20 .07 mg x 2. 2.12.20 .06 mg x 2. 8.1.21 .05 mg x 2. 4.2.21 .04 mg x 2. 9.3.21 .03 mgx2. 7.4.21 .02 mg x 2. 9.5.21 .01 mg x 2. 21.6.21 .01 mg x 1. 11.8.21 ZERO! Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 9, 2017 Share Posted October 9, 2017 Hi lg hair and make up I am so impressed, going to your mums, wow you might be frightened and anxious but you sure are doing tons better than just a few days ago. Just think what you have done in the last three days. Had friends round opened up to them, more friends yesterday and enjoyed it, out today, babies tomorrow. Cub game today as well. Last week you were forcing yourself to go outside the door and then just sat trembling. So brilliant, you might not see it but I can! Yes you must get kitchen craze keeps me quiet for ages. I will look for streak. I hope the therapist helps don’t let her wind you up and the hypnotherapist should be interesting. How exciting if he can help. enjoy the rest of your day big hugs 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 9, 2017 Author Share Posted October 9, 2017 Waiting for my appt. Had houseful at my moms for cubs game. Felt horrible when I got there. Almost left. I would have if I hadn't told Lauren I'd keep an eye on the kids. Crazy ball game and screaming and jumping. And crabby kids and whiny baby and before long my headache was gone and I was enjoying myself, sort of. What's with that? Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 Hi lg so pleased to hear you felt better, just shows it can change for the better. Hope your appointment went well and she is helping. I am back in complete meltdown. Couldn’t get up til 9 and a crying, sick, anxious mess. Tinnitus with a pulse beating in my ear all the time, bowels doing their number as well. Poor Tony has dusted and hoovered while I am just crying. So tired. Hugs 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 10, 2017 Author Share Posted October 10, 2017 I'm sorry Scorpio I'm about the same mess as you. So tired and depressed. I'm wishing I didn't have the kids today. Just want to stay in bed. Everyday I lose a little hope for recovery. My therapist says that's depression. No ****. Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 Hi lg same boat. Totally hopeless and helpless can’t see it ever getting better or that I just can’t do much . How hard is it to do any cleaning or cut and file my nails. Therapist sounds a little bit of waste of time if that’s all she’s saying. Hugs 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 10, 2017 Author Share Posted October 10, 2017 I really like her. She's not denying I'm in W/d, but of course thinks I need another med cuz of my history. I think I might too. Of course won't do anything now, I don't think. I'm starting to get impatient though. Most symptoms don't relent. Sometimes better but never gone. The foggy head makes it especially hard to do or enjoy anything. Just want to pull the covers over my head. My girlfriend just texted about their fabulous motorcycle trip. And they're headed to Reno next week. I want that! Hard to be happy for them when I'm so jealous. Putting makeup on seems like success. Pathetic Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 Hi lg what a pair we make. The relentless drag of symptoms is horrible and I have to admit today it is all beyond me. My optimism got up and went. I’m glad you like her and hope she helps you. Tony has now gone out as had enough of me crying everywhere I think. I don’t blame him in the slightest. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 10, 2017 Author Share Posted October 10, 2017 I guess I can't blame him either. I don't know if I could give my time like Paul has to sit with me, console, rub my feet. Whatever. At least Paul has a job to escape to. Tony is kinda stuck. No offense. You know what I mean. I'm sure it breaks his heart to see you like this. And he, like you, feels helpless. So hard to see a loved one suffer. I'm sure he had grander plans for his retirement. I know you did too! Will we ever have enjoyment again? Back to really scared today. Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 10, 2017 Author Share Posted October 10, 2017 17 hours ago, Flowers said: Hi lg You seem to be doing all you can to help yourself like doing your hair and makeup. Trying a Hypnotherapist might help you too - I really hope so. Hope you get a break soon. Love and hugs Flowers xxx Thanks Flowers. Really struggling today. Sure wishing for a couple days of feeling good. In despair. I hope you're still enjoying some relief. Thanks so much for checking in. I appreciate it sooooo much. Your support means a lot to me Hugs, lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 Hi lg well my day has consisted of me crying in the kitchen, crying in the bedroom and crying in the lounge on a settee wrapped in a duvet as well as listing all the things that are hurting, continuously I must be such a joy to live with. Couldn’t even speak to Luisa on the phone when she left work. The day is grey skies and drizzling matches my mood. It seems every side effect is back with a vengeance including all those horrible morbid thoughts. Just to want to clean my house or tackle my garden seems something I will never feel again. Shame we are not nearer we could bore each other to death with our fears and complaints! 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 10, 2017 Author Share Posted October 10, 2017 I could quote your message and send it back to you. Gray skies. So gloomy. Been feeling sorry for myself all morning. Talked to Lauren and sobbed. Talked to mom. Sobbed. Everything hurts and the depression is overwhelming. I told Lauren that I wished you were in our Hampshire so we could be together cuz nobody else gets it. We could sit under our covers and moan and cry. You'd probably say to yourself "what a whiny baby" and will yourself to be well. Made an agreement with my therapist last night that I would be up and showered by 9 every morning and out to try and distract myself. Not gonna happen. It's noon and aside from making a smoothie and going to the garage for smokes, I'm still under the covers. Unfortunately now I have to get up and move as I have to get the kids. Going to sit at their house for awhile so Paul can sleep. Lauren's boss asked her to come in an hour late, so I got a little reprieve. We're a pair!! Big hugs❤️ Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
direstraits Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 so sorry you're suffering so much....it can really get unbearable to live like this especially after over 3 years. I think about going back on something but so scared what might happen. at least we have each other to commiserate with. sending healing thoughts and hugs to you. hope u can find a little relief today...ds xxx went on Prozac 1994-99,60mg.poopout ct back on 2001-2002,prozac weekly 2002,not working,Effexor 75 mg.?2003-mar.2004 gaining weight 8wk. taper,wellbutrin 150 mg.mar. -may 2004 ctmedfree til july 2005 back to Prozac gaining weight again,back on wellbutrin jan.2006150-300 mg.bad constipation.also was taking aygestin(hormone)perimenopausal irregular bleeding.back on Prozac around sept,?2006,hysterectomy jan30.2007(adenomyosis)off&on Prozac til 2009,citalopram about 1 mo, April 2010 no effect,Effexor again may -mar, 2011.ct,Prozac aug,-dec, 2011 &sept-nov 2012,paroxetine oct,23 2013-may 4 2014 20 mgs.tapered 6 wks.-failed RI in Oct.2014-in protracted WD.started 10 mgs. Fluoxetine May 25 2021 .Stopped fluoxetine May 2022 at 5 mgs. Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 Hi lg wouldnt it be nice if we could just sit and chat, you with your *** and me with my vape. We could compete and see who has the most symptoms and probably end up laughing. The depression is crucifying me too when it hits I can’t see beyond it and makes everything so hopeless. It is now 7.30 and I’ve done nothing all day but mope and cry. Now on settee back under the duvet hoping for relief. At least you are going to see the little ones more than I’ve managed today. Hope it helps lift you. Don’t worry about the therapist just take each day, tomorrow you might feel much better. I hope so for both of us. Big hugs 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 10, 2017 Author Share Posted October 10, 2017 1 hour ago, direstraits said: so sorry you're suffering so much....it can really get unbearable to live like this especially after over 3 years. I think about going back on something but so scared what might happen. at least we have each other to commiserate with. sending healing thoughts and hugs to you. hope u can find a little relief today...ds xxx DS thanks for stopping by. Last time I read your post, I thought you were doing better. The depression had lifted. I can't believe your eyes still hurt. It's a horrible symptom. It gives me a feeling of claustrophobia. The blurry vision makes the d/p d/ r worse. I can't do this for 3 1/2 yrs. I'm barely hanging on now. What a nightmare. You are stronger than me. I don't know what I'm going to do but I'm hanging on by a thread. The symptoms get worse and there's new ones popping in all the time. im not convinced that I don't need another med. sorry. Bad day today. Hugs back to you......lg❤️ Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 10, 2017 Author Share Posted October 10, 2017 31 minutes ago, Scorpio said: Hi lg wouldnt it be nice if we could just sit and chat, you with your *** and me with my vape. We could compete and see who has the most symptoms and probably end up laughing. The depression is crucifying me too when it hits I can’t see beyond it and makes everything so hopeless. It is now 7.30 and I’ve done nothing all day but mope and cry. Now on settee back under the duvet hoping for relief. At least you are going to see the little ones more than I’ve managed today. Hope it helps lift you. Don’t worry about the therapist just take each day, tomorrow you might feel much better. I hope so for both of us. Big hugs No relief for me either. I have the tv babysitting Madelyn. She wants to play but I am so nauseous and my head and eyes are killing me. Just shoot me Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 Hi lg thank god for the telly Jude is still a bit young to occupy him with it but there are two quiz programmes at 4 and 5 o’clock and he adores the music so that captivates him for moments. I’m sorry you are in pain again but you made me laugh, terrible sense of humour on my part, just shoot me is what I’ve been saying all day and also considered the freezing Atlantic as well. Oh god what a pair we make. Huge hugs 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 10, 2017 Author Share Posted October 10, 2017 I'm picturing us hand in hand trying to get into the Atlantic. Neither of us like the cold and we're too chicken. Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 Hi lg i know, can’t even think of a decent plan - luckily! Have been playing scroodles and you can tell your son in law it’s flipping addictive. Hugs 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Quest Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 Just now, Scorpio said: Hi lg i know, can’t even think of a decent plan - luckily! Have been playing scroodles and you can tell your son in law it’s flipping addictive. Hugs Hello Scorpio, I hope that you have a good night, sorry about your day today. I certainly felt it yesterday! That is one thing I haven't done is games yet, maybe one day I will try, you and lg seem to really like them! I have to go to my dreaded groceries now before I pick up my boy from school. Husband left for work again, will be gone about a month. I just hope we don't get too much snow too soon, it will suck trying to shovel feeling like this. will check in with you tomorrow~ hugs Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 10, 2017 Author Share Posted October 10, 2017 6 minutes ago, Scorpio said: Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Quest Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 10 minutes ago, Littlegrandma said: I'm picturing us hand in hand trying to get into the Atlantic. Neither of us like the cold and we're too chicken. Hello my wee lg, sending hugs to you too. Sorry for your crappy day. It is so frustrating to feel like this, I so get it. I hope your evening brings some relief, and enjoy your sleep, such a blessing. I have to run and get groceries, so don't like this. Went to a hardware store yesterday with husband and almost ran right back out! I used to love going shopping- I was a professional! I have literally been in my kitchen all day, wtheck. I need my life back, as do we all. Anyhow, I hope you have a better day tomorrow~ hugs Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 10, 2017 Author Share Posted October 10, 2017 I haven't played scroodles for awhile. Don't tell Jim. Haha i think I will now. Oh nope. Jonathan just woke up. Anyway, I tried word streak yesterday. Too hard when brains in this condition. Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 10, 2017 Author Share Posted October 10, 2017 2 minutes ago, Quest said: Hello my wee lg, sending hugs to you too. Sorry for your crappy day. It is so frustrating to feel like this, I so get it. I hope your evening brings some relief, and enjoy your sleep, such a blessing. I have to run and get groceries, so don't like this. Went to a hardware store yesterday with husband and almost ran right back out! I used to love going shopping- I was a professional! I have literally been in my kitchen all day, wtheck. I need my life back, as do we all. Anyhow, I hope you have a better day tomorrow~ hugs Quest, I don't understand why it gets worse instead of better. New symptoms popping up all the time. My mom is with me watching the grand babies, thank God, but she doesn't know what to do with me. I can't stop crying. And when I have a clear headed moment and I'm not feeling my misery, I can't stop thinking of you and Scorpio and dire straits. Good golly, 3 1/2 yrs. and flowers, bubble PB Kang and all. What misery. That's tough with your husband gone for so long. You have no choice but to be the responsible one. I hope you find you're sleep tonight. Unfortunately mine is drug induced and comes with a terrible hangover. Big hugs to you........lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 26 minutes ago, Quest said: Hello Scorpio, I hope that you have a good night, sorry about your day today. I certainly felt it yesterday! That is one thing I haven't done is games yet, maybe one day I will try, you and lg seem to really like them! I have to go to my dreaded groceries now before I pick up my boy from school. Husband left for work again, will be gone about a month. I just hope we don't get too much snow too soon, it will suck trying to shovel feeling like this. will check in with you tomorrow~ hugs Hi quest i hope today’s a little better for you. I’m sure it must be hard for you when you’re husband is away for so long. Oh god not snow already, I am just about coping with the grey skies and rain. I hate the winter with a vengeance. Today has been horrible since waking and no easing all day. I am so impressed you are going shopping like you I used to love it but now I find it difficult too. Any improvement for you and did you get an answer on the melatonin. Have a good night - fingers crossed. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 Hi lg try cooking craze mindless but fun. Hope the children behave for you and you get a little relief tonight. If not we can just carry on moaning tomorrow. Hugs 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
direstraits Posted October 11, 2017 Share Posted October 11, 2017 the depression is better,it's the anxiety and inner shaking(sometimes outer) that's driving me crazy now along w/the blurry left eye ,sometimes overwhelming weakness and fatigue,but I do get better days too. did you say you cut the lex by 50%?that could be causing a lot of problems...could you do a small updose,maybe that would help. sorry if I got that wrong....just wish I knew what would help you. take care,ds xx went on Prozac 1994-99,60mg.poopout ct back on 2001-2002,prozac weekly 2002,not working,Effexor 75 mg.?2003-mar.2004 gaining weight 8wk. taper,wellbutrin 150 mg.mar. -may 2004 ctmedfree til july 2005 back to Prozac gaining weight again,back on wellbutrin jan.2006150-300 mg.bad constipation.also was taking aygestin(hormone)perimenopausal irregular bleeding.back on Prozac around sept,?2006,hysterectomy jan30.2007(adenomyosis)off&on Prozac til 2009,citalopram about 1 mo, April 2010 no effect,Effexor again may -mar, 2011.ct,Prozac aug,-dec, 2011 &sept-nov 2012,paroxetine oct,23 2013-may 4 2014 20 mgs.tapered 6 wks.-failed RI in Oct.2014-in protracted WD.started 10 mgs. Fluoxetine May 25 2021 .Stopped fluoxetine May 2022 at 5 mgs. Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 11, 2017 Author Share Posted October 11, 2017 24 minutes ago, direstraits said: the depression is better,it's the anxiety and inner shaking(sometimes outer) that's driving me crazy now along w/the blurry left eye ,sometimes overwhelming weakness and fatigue,but I do get better days too. did you say you cut the lex by 50%?that could be causing a lot of problems...could you do a small updose,maybe that would help. sorry if I got that wrong....just wish I knew what would help you. take care,ds xx Yes. I cut by 50%. But that was after I messed up. I was good at 7.5. Then I was making my own liquid. I don't think I did it right. Was very sick. Upped to 8. Couldn't stabilize. At suggestion of a dr. went back to 10 mg thinking I could start over. Then the hell began. I trembled for 2 months. Akathasia. No sleep. Ended up on BP meds, xanax. Went inpatient at Mayo Clinic. They brought me down to 5 mg in a week. The trembling stopped, but the other horrible symptoms started. That was about 6 wks ago. I knew better than to drop that quick but I was desperate. And they started me on Ativan. I dropped the xanax. So I went thru a lot of changes in a short time. And now a pile of meds to come off. You know I read your entire thread awhile back, but I don't remember now. Did you CT? I just can't believe you're still struggling 3 1/2 yrs out. That terrifies me. And I'm so sorry for you. Originally my left eye had pressure and was blurry. It's still the worst but now it's both eyes. And pain. It's worse when I get the headaches but it's pretty much constant. But I guess the headaches are too. Just not migraines all the time anymore. I've seen many docs between mine here and at Mayo. They all say I need some kind of med. and of course don't believe these symptoms are all w/d. I'm getting pretty desperate. Symptoms seem to get worse everyday. And new ones popping up. Don't know how you've hung on for so long. Wish there was an answer for you. That magic wand. I keep saying we will never take life for granted again.... once we're through this hell. Boring will be good. Just enjoying our families, especially the grand babies. Hugs. Lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 11, 2017 Author Share Posted October 11, 2017 18 hours ago, Scorpio said: Hi lg try cooking craze mindless but fun. Hope the children behave for you and you get a little relief tonight. If not we can just carry on moaning tomorrow. Hugs I see you have a message to Bubble and not feeling any relief. I'm sorry. I'm in same boat. No desire to do anything. Gray and rainy again. I dread winter. Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 11, 2017 Author Share Posted October 11, 2017 On 10/5/2017 at 3:03 PM, bubble said: Was just reading through your thread from the beginning... We really need all of that in your signature. Even the Xanax abuse 30 years ago. Also when you came here you wrote about some 0.75 mg Xanax per day and after a while just didn't mention it at all. You might be going through Xanax withdrawal also (which might be only partly masked by Ativan)... Bubble, you're in demand today. I hope since you haven't been around much lately, that you're in a window and enjoying your life. My W/D symptoms seem to be getting worse. How am I to know if it's the lex or the lack of it that's causing anxiety to ramp up? And the depression, dp & dr are getting worse by the day. My symptoms are exactly what led me to xanax and Zoloft years ago. Migraine, anxiety, depression, stomach pains, fog, dp, dr, nausea, unable to walk with ease and isolation. And just uncaring about anything. Is it time to start tapering again? i know I haven't stabilized but the symptoms are definitely getting worse instead of better. Maybe, like drs and all my family thinks, I'm just someone that will need a med for life. I'm very confused right now and this is all consuming. No matter how I try to distract myself. But that has been my history for 30 yrs..... ruminating thoughts, lack of concentration, no joy or pleasure in anything. The only time in my life I've been content and happy was when I was on Zoloft. Otherwise I'm restless and not happy in my own skin. That's why I always tend to self medicate. I know I'm the only one that can make this decision and I kinda know your thoughts on this. But I'm desperate and I just wanted to give you a little more history. I'm hanging by a thread. I don't have much left in me to go on. I appreciate your time. I really hope you're doing well. Thanks. Lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 11, 2017 Share Posted October 11, 2017 Hi lg oh god what a pair we make, we both need a magic wand. Grey skies and rain again here too. Everything seems to have hit me at once, dizziness, anxiety, awful depression, nausea as well as the other horrible symptoms I keep getting. Can’t do anything just crying over everything. Luisa and Jude came in at 2 so had to pull myself together a bit they have just left and now feel rubbish again. Tomorrow I have Jude from 9 while Luisa is in London but Tony has said he will miss the funeral to be with me for support. What a state to get into. I know you are frightened too but we both have to try and fight this insidious thing. The reasons you went on Zoloft in the first place was because you were in a bad way from your childhood, youth and post natal depression that is not the woman you are now. You, like me, are scared witless by all these horrible symptoms but it is the nature of the beast and we both have had better days. I can’t belive how things turn around in one day or one week. You have the little ones tomorrow too don’t you so we just have to try and rise above it and get a grip - this is called pots and kettles, if you could see me now, a complete wreck, unable to eat again. God knows when I am going to put some of this much needed weight back on, keep going LG you have had too many people tell you to go back on the horrible things and that is sitting in your head making you feel even more desperate. Bug hugs. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 11, 2017 Author Share Posted October 11, 2017 I understand what you're saying, but I'm not so sure I don't need something. I'm just afraid that a new med will overload me with seratonin again and leave me trembling and pacing. I'm so confused. I'm not sure I have much fighting power left in me. And oh, these rainy dreary days don't help. The thought of winter is enough to make me want to hibernate. I have the kids today, so I'm off pretty quick. It would be nice just to have them dropped off instead of venturing out in the rain but Paul would never get any sleep. He's already wiped out from the schedule change and working 13 hrs. Sorry you're still down and out. One thing for sure, I know exactly how you feel. I hate it for you and me and all seeking solace in this forum. So much misery from a blankety blank pill. ( I was censored yesterday). Gotta run. Talk later Hugs. Lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
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