Scorpio Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 17 hours ago, Quest said: I have a 5:30 appt. With a therapist, at least she doesnt prescribe drugs. Out of my comfort zone as well. Glad the fellow was decent. None of my nice underwear fits anymore, but I did shave my legs after a week last night. You both would laugh at me, I'm not that good at it and a stiff wind would blow me over in so scrawny now. Good old Zoplicone....hope you have a good night LG, and a better morning. I'm wide awake at 3 doing the jitterbug so I'll telepathically say hi to you! & Scorpio~ Hi quest I hope your appointment went well , god if the two of you have shaved your legs I had better stir myself to do the same. The three of us all skinny, what a sight we would make all doing yoga, made worse by my non-bendiness. Has the therapist helped. How are you feeling today. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 Hi lg how was your night, how is your day, are you feeling any benefit from the hypnotherapist. I took melatonin last night and slept til alarm but had that can’t get of bed thing again. Dragged myself out at 8.30 don’t feel as bad as yesterday still anxiety, nausea, bowel cramps but legs don’t feel so jelly like today and haven’t cried. Did some ironing then Tony agitated about garden so went out to get on with it for couple of hours until Luisa and Jude fortunately turned up. He has kept her awake for two nights he isn’t very well, feverish, not eating think it’s teething but she was exhausted. We went to a local supermarket for an hour then back here. So now cooking dinner and intend to collapse on settee. hope you are ok and woke up with a lessening of symptoms too. Big hugs 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 17, 2017 Author Share Posted October 17, 2017 You sound good. I'm glad. afraid it's the opposite for me. Really bad day. Woke at 2 w/ high anxiety. All the symptoms. I've got to do something as symptoms seem to get worse everyday. I've got a message into Shep. Hope she has an idea. Maybe time to taper a bit cuz I felt better even going down 50% no benefit from therapist. Now I even have to hide the smokes from Paul. I only had 2 though. Just puffed and relit later. He's probably counting them. Oh the joys of a teething baby. Poor mama. Lauren has very few nights of sleep in the last almost 5 yrs. Glad they don't live here. Ha Off to get the kids now. Hope your day keeps improving. I'm so happy for you. Big hugs Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 Hi lg im so sorry you are going through such a hard time 2 o’clock is horrible. I saw the message you sent and hope she comes back to you quickly with some positive ideas. This horrible anxiety and depression are just so soul destroying. Is it worth continuing with the therapist? That’s brilliant only 2 cigs, you have such strength. Yes luisa was considering sleeping here tonight with Jude as Jordan is away overnight but decided against it. I breathed a sigh of relief. Tomorrow I have to get up with the alarm as Jude is at nursery from 10 to 12 and I have to go and be inspected as I will be collecting him when he goes regularly in November. Then Luisa wants me to go to Sainsbury’s which is having a massive toy sale tomorrow while he’s there then back to pick him up. I imagine he will be with us the rest of the day so must be better tomorrow. Poor little thing has dark circles under his eyes. He’s always such a happy smiley baby but not today until I took him down our drive and he played with the dirt and stones. I hope those beautiful babies of yours lift you and some of those wretched symptoms ease. Keep going, we have plans to make remember. Hugs 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 17, 2017 Author Share Posted October 17, 2017 i hope you're feeling well tomorrow. You're having a decent day today, right? Or did the little guy get the best of you? Jonathan is napping. Madelyn had me doing a circle chasing game. About did me in. So I turned on good ol tv. The tears again!! Can't stop. I was told by a 4 yr old that I was crying like a baby. Reality check. Symptoms are really bad today. Having trouble holding on. Don't see any end when it gets worse every day. Lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
kangamangus Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 Hey LG, Sorry to hear you are still struggling. I am right there with you (small consolation I know). Hang strong though, you've done really well so far. Crying spells have luckily stopped for me but only because I am off floating in DP/DR land again. You have had better days in the past, and you'll have better days in the future. Just have to get through it one minute at a time. Kang Drug History: Zoloft(sertraline) since 2008. Was up to 100mg/daily before CT in May 2017. Reinstated 3 weeks later at 50mg. September 10, 2017 Updose Zoloft to 62.5mg Current dose as of 5/11/2018 50mg Zoloft and 0mg Remeron Remeron(mirtazapine) started June 2017. Accidental CT after 1 month. Reinstated 7.5mg on 9/26/17 after hospital stay. Current Symptoms: Depression, Anxiety, DP/DR, Anhedonia, SI, Tinnitus, Fatigue Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 Hi lg tv is the best thing for time out. Even Jude can be bribed with a little night garden on tv. Crying is a release even though it’s a god awful one. Oh I hope your symptoms ease a little. Bubble and shep will get together and sort out a plan for you. Just keep on holding on. It will get better. A few more days and Paul will be back to normal routine you will have company in the evenings. Those symptoms are all horrible but you have had better days even though it doesn’t feel like it today. Just try and distract yourself with the little ones remember what bubble said minute by minute, hour by hour. We will do it together. My anxiety still high but jelly legs has eased. Eyes still dry and sore. Bowel still cramping and nausea apart from that wonderful! Huge hugs 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 17, 2017 Author Share Posted October 17, 2017 12 minutes ago, kangamangus said: Hey LG, Sorry to hear you are still struggling. I am right there with you (small consolation I know). Hang strong though, you've done really well so far. Crying spells have luckily stopped for me but only because I am off floating in DP/DR land again. You have had better days in the past, and you'll have better days in the future. Just have to get through it one minute at a time. Kang Thanks Kang i needed that today! im lucky to have the dp dr with the tears. I'm so frustrated. No consolation. I want so bad for you to feel better and start living your life. I want that for all of us. Hoping the remeron is started to do the trick for you. 🤞🏻~lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 17, 2017 Author Share Posted October 17, 2017 4 minutes ago, Scorpio said: Hi lg tv is the best thing for time out. Even Jude can be bribed with a little night garden on tv. Crying is a release even though it’s a god awful one. Oh I hope your symptoms ease a little. Bubble and shep will get together and sort out a plan for you. Just keep on holding on. It will get better. A few more days and Paul will be back to normal routine you will have company in the evenings. Those symptoms are all horrible but you have had better days even though it doesn’t feel like it today. Just try and distract yourself with the little ones remember what bubble said minute by minute, hour by hour. We will do it together. My anxiety still high but jelly legs has eased. Eyes still dry and sore. Bowel still cramping and nausea apart from that wonderful! Huge hugs Thanks Scorpio i really don't know what I'd do without you're sense of humor. You've made hell feel like kindergarten class for me. Great Big Hugs. Lil G Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 Hi lg You have kept me going, made me laugh, snigger, and giggle and made this rotten path so much more bearable. We will do it we have so much planning to do and our beautiful babies to get well for. Thank god we can laugh together and cry together and compare who has the saggiest skin, hairiest legs, now breathe in get that abdomen out and count to four, breathe in and do it all again. If your face is anything like mine when you try and get the abdomen out you and the babies will all be laughing in about 10 minutes. Keep on keeping on. Huge hugs to you. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Quest Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 4 hours ago, Scorpio said: Hi quest I hope your appointment went well , god if the two of you have shaved your legs I had better stir myself to do the same. The three of us all skinny, what a sight we would make all doing yoga, made worse by my non-bendiness. Has the therapist helped. How are you feeling today. So glad you had a good day☀️ Link to comment
kangamangus Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 1 hour ago, Littlegrandma said: Thanks Kang i needed that today! im lucky to have the dp dr with the tears. I'm so frustrated. No consolation. I want so bad for you to feel better and start living your life. I want that for all of us. Hoping the remeron is started to do the trick for you. 🤞🏻~lg Sorry to hear that :/ I know the frustration so well. Sometimes I just want to scream and punch something because nobody understand and could ever understand (except for this site I guess) I want that too. Remeron helping with depression, no such luck on the dp/dr. Just hoping its my brain saying its been under a lot of stress lately and if I leave it alone for a while it will calm down. Thats all I am holding on to right now. Hoping for better days for us all, and soon. Drug History: Zoloft(sertraline) since 2008. Was up to 100mg/daily before CT in May 2017. Reinstated 3 weeks later at 50mg. September 10, 2017 Updose Zoloft to 62.5mg Current dose as of 5/11/2018 50mg Zoloft and 0mg Remeron Remeron(mirtazapine) started June 2017. Accidental CT after 1 month. Reinstated 7.5mg on 9/26/17 after hospital stay. Current Symptoms: Depression, Anxiety, DP/DR, Anhedonia, SI, Tinnitus, Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 17, 2017 Author Share Posted October 17, 2017 1 hour ago, Scorpio said: Hi lg You have kept me going, made me laugh, snigger, and giggle and made this rotten path so much more bearable. We will do it we have so much planning to do and our beautiful babies to get well for. Thank god we can laugh together and cry together and compare who has the saggiest skin, hairiest legs, now breathe in get that abdomen out and count to four, breathe in and do it all again. If your face is anything like mine when you try and get the abdomen out you and the babies will all be laughing in about 10 minutes. Keep on keeping on. Huge hugs to you. I think the drug companies took down my post suggesting they sponsor us for tv aerobics/ yoga aaannnnd a twwooo morrrre aaannnnd a oonnne morrrre me waving the us flag proudly on my under arm. Saggy face breathing in. Size 0 belly shirts with abdomen out. Hairy legs under Capri yoga pants. Comb- over covering bald spots. Just say no to drugs!! Im not bitter!! Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 17, 2017 Author Share Posted October 17, 2017 46 minutes ago, kangamangus said: Sorry to hear that :/ I know the frustration so well. Sometimes I just want to scream and punch something because nobody understand and could ever understand (except for this site I guess) I want that too. Remeron helping with depression, no such luck on the dp/dr. Just hoping its my brain saying its been under a lot of stress lately and if I leave it alone for a while it will calm down. Thats all I am holding on to right now. Hoping for better days for us all, and soon. I kinda wanted to punch a drug rep that came in the dr office a couple weeks ago. Wanted to ask her if she'd sampled it yet. No. Nobody understands. My family, not husband or kids, keep telling me to go off the meds if they're making me that sick. I tried reading a scary post to my mom today. She wouldn't listen. Told me that it was making me cry and making the situation worse. I tried to explain that this forum wasn't causing symptoms. That I came here because of the symptoms. That's my last rant today. Thanks for listening. Hoping for a better tomorrow for everyone!! Hugs lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 Hi lg what a pretty picture you describe. And another giggle. How are you today. I saw you had a really good reply from shep and hopefully will set you on the right track. Slept til the alarm almost but very anxious again, nausea etc. Made myself get up and ready for going to nursery. Jude was not well at all so Luisa made a drs appointment for this afternoon just got back and he has ear infection, tonsillitis and thrush. Poor little thing so poorly , purple under the eyes and hasn’t slept for three nights and not eating only drinking from his mum. . Now on antibiotics and thrush gel for his mouth and medicine for Luisa to to stop her get the thrush. . He went to nursery but not happy as you can imagine. I think the whole day has added to the anxiety so not a good day all round, skies are back to dull grey as well. And so it goes on. .... 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 18, 2017 Author Share Posted October 18, 2017 It never ends. Poor little guy. And Luisa. So hard when the baby doesn't sleep and you're so tired!! I had high hopes for you today. I hope you can't get the thrush from Jude. That's all you need. So nice of Shep to reply so quickly. She's been through it all so I hope she has an idea to help me in the right path. Also, a little unnerving what she and Bubble had to say about the added drugs. May be a long road. I'm not sure I have it in me. I'm ignoring my symptoms today and have been very busy. I hope I don't pay for it tomorrow. This house is getting borderline disgusting. Had to dig in and do a little deep cleaning. The sun is shining here so I'm going to jump on the tractor and do a little mowing. Lauren wanted me to come by, but I want a little break from the kids. I love them to pieces, but I need a break to get some stuff done. I am going to GP tomorrow. My throat, glands, and ears have been hurting. Just want it checked out. Been going on for several weeks. Maybe it's symptoms or maybe it's virus making symptoms worse. My mom and brother just popped in. Talk to you later. Hugs Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 Hi lg hope you enjoyed your visit or were you thinking please go as I want to get on. I am not sure anyone has pointed this out but you are having a better day - cleaning, tractor - even though you have symptoms somethings changed. Yesterday you were crying. Put the flags out, mark it in the calendar. Dont worry about the mix of drugs it will be sorted with the help of bubble and shep. Many other people on here have a mix of drugs and get through it. The trick is to learn how to do it so gently your brain has a chance to stabilise. You poor thing, I hope the doctor can sort out the throat, ears. Probably caught from Jonathan or Madelyn. Jude looked so poorly today, it was very upsetting and anxiety was already high from the last couple of days. We got a Disney if antibiotics into him and a blob of medicine into his mouth for the thrush. If he can just sleep better tonight and Luisa hopefully he will eat tomorrow and start to feel better. I am so impressed you are doing brilliantly today. Hugs. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 18, 2017 Author Share Posted October 18, 2017 Thanks~ it is one of my better days. Just working through it. It's so beautiful outside. I sure hope it doesn't come back to haunt me tomorrow. The visit was nice. They took me for a drive and ice cream cone. It felt good to be out. The anxiety is so much less today. Don't know if it's because I'm getting on with it or was going to be less anyway. I'm sure tired of phone games. I'm afraid to get my hopes up....... but this is the best window I've had, even with a pounding headache. Jude will feel better after a couple doses of the meds. It's that time of year. Every little bug starts going around. Now that he's starting daycare, he'll be picking up everything for awhile. I do worry about all the meds I'm on. I hate the thought of feeling like this for the next couple few years. But like you said, if I can do it without my brain knowing, then ok. I can deal with it. Wish I would have known several months ago. But don't we all? Sure hate popping those little buggers knowing what they're doing to me. Just tired of taking pills. Period. And honestly, I'm so worried that this physical exercise will make me feel bad tomorrow. So sad. But it sure feels good to move. I hope and pray you're day has improved. Big hugs Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 Hi lg i am so happy for you, please write it down somewhere easy to see, so if it all goes pear shaped again you can remember better days are round the corner for both of us. I am the same, terrified the stress of the last couple of days is catching up with me. Feeling fragile at the moment. Im sure Jude will improve quickly but god he was so ill today and looked so vulnerable poor little mite. You lucky thing having a beautiful day and a window as well as ice cream - heaven. Those drugs will be gone eventually and enjoy the rest of the day don’t think about tomorrow. Whatever type of day it is we will cope, fingers crossed. I weighed myself tonight, have been eating three meals a day, yogurt, banana for breakfast, sandwich for lunch and cooked evening meal for over a week - no flipping weight gain, not even an ounce. Where is the fat fairy when you want her. Keep on having fun, Paul will be surprised with all you have done and very happy. Hugs 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 18, 2017 Author Share Posted October 18, 2017 That's hardly enough calories to put weight on, but at least you're able to eat and get some nutrients. I don't have a scale but I feel like I've put a pound or two on. I'll have to ask to be weighed at dr tomorrow. Don't worry grandma. Jude will be himself tomorrow. That's the worst a mama or grandma can go through. Wish I wasn't such a worry wort. The glass is always half empty. Speaking of worrying, I think I overdid it. I hauled pumpkins and washed them and hauled them again to put up the hill for sale. Paul's been doing it all and I wanted to give him a break. Headache is bad and anxiety ramped up. Going to take it easy now. Hope I didn't screw myself. Let's both have a good day tomorrow. I miss putzing in the yard and shopping and taking the kids to the park etc. Just the simple things. And oh, I saw your sky in the news after the hurricane. It was ominous but awesome. 😘Here's to a good day tomorrow Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Flowers Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 Hi lg Thanks for visiting my thread. I am so pleased you have achieved such a lot today. It's a good idea of Scorpio's to record it somewhere. I keep a diary of how I feel each day and give the day marks out of 10. 1 is feeling the best and 10 is feeling the worst. It's amazing to look back and see the pattern of windows and waves and when in a wave it does cheer me to read what I got up to in a window. It gives me hope that another wave will come around soon. My back has been much better today so I managed to get out with my visitors from UK even though it has been pouring with rain all day. I always feel better when I get out of the house. Hope tomorrow is another good day for you. Love from Flowers xxx 15 yrs on 20 to 30 mgs CITALOPRAM. MAY 2014 Increased to 40 mgs per day.SEPT/NOV 2014 tapered in 6 weeks down to 10 mgs as per Dr instructions due to violent nightmares/palpitations.Given Noctamid (lormetazepam) to help with anxiety. On average took 2mg per day for 8 weeks.No taper was advised.DEC 2014 WD severe. Nervous tic in eyes and limbs, muscle pain,fluct temp, weakness, dep and anxiety, nausea, giddy, unstable when walking. Different Dr suggested taking 20mgs CIT. BROMAZEPAM 3mgs up to 3 x daily for anxiety.DEC 9 2014 Updose CIT to 30mgs. Only taking BROMAZEPAM in emergency.DEC 31 2014 Settling at 30mg CIT - helping with depression. No Brom for 2wks.Found SA.APR 2015 Trying to stabilise on 30mgs CIT. JAN 2016 Started Cit Taper reducing by 5% per month. 28.5 mgs FEB Taper held bereavement. APR Taper resumed 27mgs . MAY 25.50 mgs . JUNE 24 mgs . JULY I stupidly mixed up my BP meds with CIT. Consequently took no CIT for 3 days and doubled my BP meds. Waiting for the fallout....Holding for a while until any chance of repercussions have abated. SEPT taper resumed to 22.5 mgs . OCT 21 mgs .NOV 19.95 mgs DEC crashed. 2017: FEB 3rd updose to 20.5 mgs to try to stabilise.FEB.switched over to 75mgs of Venlafaxine XR for 3 weeks.Too stimulating so switching back to Cit. 12 March 37.5 Ven and 20 Cit. 21 March 18mg Ven 20mg Cit. 4 April 9mg Ven 20mg Cit. Xanax .50mg when needed. 13 April 0 mgs Ven, 20mg Citalopram. Xanax .50 mg per day. 5 May reinstated a small amount of Ven to stabilize 1 mg twice a day. 20 mg Citalopram at night. Xanax .25 mg twice per day.Other Meds: Losartan (BP)Started 1993 at 50 mgs at night. Seretide (Asthma) Started 1996 at 1 puff twice a day. Jan 2019 Antibiotic Ceclor 500mgs twice a day for bronchitis and Atrovent 2ml capsules twice a day for asthma. Finished the course of both Jan 17. XANAX Jan 27 - Feb 3 2019 Failed Valium Crossover. Feb 14 2019 Updosed Xanax by .0625 Feb 17 2019 Decreased Xanax by .0625. Back to .50mg daily. Update Xanax 28.2.20 tapered to .1250 mg 8am .25 mg midnight. Update Xanax 11.8.21 tapered to .25 mg at night. Current Meds 28.2.19: CITALOPRAM 20mg taken at midnight. VENLAFAXINE .9 mg twice a day at 8am and 10pm. XANAX .50 mg split into 4 doses per day. 10am .0625mg / 2pm .1250mg/ 6pm .0625mg / midnight .25mg.Update 10.8.22 .25 mg at night. LOSARTAN 50 mgs taken at midnight. SERETIDE 1 puff taken at 8am and 10pm. 7.7.19 VENLAFAXINE UPDATE: Started tapering 10% every 4 weeks. Currently .4 mg twice a day at 8am and 10 pm. 2.9.19 .36 mg x 2. 1.10.19 .32 mg x 2. 26.11.19 .29 mg x2. 26.12.19 .26 mg x 2. 23.1.20 .23 mg x 2. 20.2.20 .21 mg x2.20.3.20 .19 mg x 2. 21.4.20 .17 mg x 2. 19.5.20 .13 mg x 2. 18.6.20 .11mg x 2 .18.7.20.10 mg x 2.1.9.20.09 mg x 2. 30.9. 20 .08 mg x 2. 1.11.20 .07 mg x 2. 2.12.20 .06 mg x 2. 8.1.21 .05 mg x 2. 4.2.21 .04 mg x 2. 9.3.21 .03 mgx2. 7.4.21 .02 mg x 2. 9.5.21 .01 mg x 2. 21.6.21 .01 mg x 1. 11.8.21 ZERO! Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 18, 2017 Author Share Posted October 18, 2017 Thanks Flowers Im so happy you're back is better and you got out. That's great! It is so nice to get out, rain or no rain. I've been going stir crazy. And great idea from both of you to track the windows. I've been trying to keep simple records of meds and symptoms, but not very thorough. Now that I'm keeping a symptoms list for Shep, I got a new notebook and being more detailed. Take it easy on your back. You've still got a full week of visiting and fun to be had. So glad you're feeling better. Love, lg❤️ Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 Hi lg right go and put your butt in the sun, breathe and relax. You have done enough today, you can clap yourself on the back ( it’s probably another yoga exercise I haven’t come across yet) sit back and enjoy how well you have just done. Write it in your journal you are keeping cos tomorrow if the worst happens and you feel rubbish you won’t believe me when I tell you that today was a much better day. Pulling pumpkins up a hill are you mad - don’t answer that on the grounds it might implicate you - much too much heavy work. Slow down now lady. All these enjoyments will become more and more regular so sit try downloading kitchen craze it will take you mind off the symptoms. That sky was amazing and weird. I would much rather have the blue skies and sun. Hugs 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 18, 2017 Author Share Posted October 18, 2017 Don't tell me I told you so tomorrow. I just wanted to enjoy the normal things. I don't want it to end. I sure hope I didn't overdo it. First time in almost five months it did feel normal and wonderful. Even if it was just yard work and housework. Even enjoyed a visit with a gal that came by with her kids to pumpkin shop. She said if you ever want to sell your house call me. She gave me her number. Then soon she was back with her husband to look at the property. They want acreage for quads and dirt bikes. And we are so ready to downsize. But on the other hand, it's so beautiful and would be hard to leave. But it's so much work. Especially going through this w/d. Poor Paul has been picking up the slack. Anyway, we made some new friends. They like motorcycling and boating. So we will get together regardless. I feel alive again. 🤞🏻I'm hoping for a repeat tomorrow. For you too, my friend. Big hugs Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 19, 2017 Share Posted October 19, 2017 Hi lg i have everything crossed you had a good night and wake up to another day of feeling good. Have you got the babies today? Yesterday tipped me over the edge and had the can’t get out of bed morning and anxiety, nausea, bowel cramping, dizziness all back with a vengeance. Supposed to be going to supermarket with Tony to get food. Oh god how do I do that. This afternoon Luisa’s to look after still poorly Jude while she gets work done. Am I going to be able to do all this feeling like cr**. Hugs 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 19, 2017 Author Share Posted October 19, 2017 You never get a break. Wish I could do something for you. I know it's overwhelming. Do you have to shop today? Maybe tomorrow?Hopefully Jude is feeling better and he will help you feel better. I woke to trembling. Not really anxiety but high heart rate. Very depressed. And bad thoughts. I just want to go back to bed. It's still dark. I see no reason to be up. Wish I had a goal. A plan. Some motivation. I do have the kids but only for a few hours. Lauren has a work meeting. Glad I don't have them all day. But I do have a dr appt. Dread it. Showering seems like a chore. Smoking is bringing me anxiety. Having trouble breathing. So I smoke cuz of the anxiety. Vicious circle. How stupid. I need to find the inner strength and just stop. Wish I could stop these ruminating thoughts. Hope your day gets better as you get moving. I'm thinking about going back to bed for awhile. Lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 19, 2017 Share Posted October 19, 2017 Hi lg We are both in the same boat - up and down like yo-yos. I’m so sorry you are also feeling rubbish. Remember yesterday it will be back. I hope the children behave for you. Stop stressing about the smoking. It’s never good to give up in stressful situations and you’re trying to do it at the worst time. If you insist on doing it now stick the vape in your mouth. My eyes are really sore again another symptom. I struggled through the day. Got to the supermarket then home and to Luisa’s. The baby still very tetchy and poorly. Was hard work but while he slept did a bit of ironing for her. Back here at 5 to sort dinner. Just felt worse hour by hour. Now rotten. Tomorrow I have to help again and my brother and wife are back from France tonight where they have a house. They have been over there for a month and are coming in tomorrow. Oh no don’t want to be social. They have this sing Songy voice they use on me when I’m not doing well and it drives me crackers. Hope your day has gotten better. Stop the thoughts - they are symptoms not real. Hugs 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 19, 2017 Author Share Posted October 19, 2017 Hi Scorpio have you had any relief today? hows Jude feeling? bad day for me. Anxiety through the roof. Remembering how good yesterday was and hoping I can relive it again soon. You're writing at the same time so I see neither you nor Jude got relief. My anxiety didn't kick into full gear til I picked up the kids. Hmmm But I got on with it. Took them to a garage sale and got Madelyn a few toys. Then to McDonald's for lunch. Glad to be home but have to head to the dr shortly, for what it's worth. My eyes are also hurting today. A little more than usual. What is that about? It's a common symptom. I don't understand it. The sun is bright and hard to see with dark glasses on. Back to despair. Lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 19, 2017 Share Posted October 19, 2017 Hi lg snap. Good luck with the doctor I imagine that’s not helping with the anxiety. Well done on getting out and doing things with the children. What is it with sore Eyes? Do you really want to move? Or are you just feeling overwhelmed at the moment. Nice that you made new friends with such a lot in common. Have you talked value on house, are they really serious in wanting it. Only a couple more days and you get Paul back in the evenings bet you can’t wait. Let me know how you get on at the doctors. Fingers crossed. Hugs 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 Hi lg how Did the doctor go. I hope you are sleeping peacefully and wake to a good day. Hugs 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 20, 2017 Author Share Posted October 20, 2017 Hi Scorpio hope you're having a better day today. I'm trying to work thru the symptoms. Seems to help alleviate some. Mostly I'm just tired of being sedentary and missing out. I even went to moms last night with a couple of my brothers to watch the final Cub game of the year. Ate pizza and chocolate cake. That was wonderful. But driving home at 9:30 was tough. 7 mi only but felt like I'd been driving for hours. Dr went as expected. He thinks I'm on the other side of a virus. Also talked about different AD meds. Didn't help when his wife, the nurse, walked in the room and I started crying. He's known me a long time and thinks I need meds. But he said not to make any changes, even tapering, til spring as I have the winter blues. I'm just sooooo confused. Wish I could think of something besides w/d, drugs, anxiety, body pain, yada yada yada Hows your little guy feeling today? The antibiotic must have kicked in by now. So hard to see the little ones suffer. We're suppose to be able to make them feel better. Such a helpless feeling. We have been tossing the idea around of selling the house. It just needs to much work, updating, etc to put on the market. We told the couple exactly that. He said that his wife is the type that would want to make her own changes anyway. They love the house, but more interested in the property for riding quads, dirt bikes, and just having room and privacy in the country. Same reason we built here and it would be tough to let it go. But it is so much work for a couple of old farts. Our kids don't want us to sell. Neither does any of my family cuz they all love it out here. Well , that's too much to think about now. I hope you are feeling good and out and about today. The sun is shining here and it's 70. I call these bonus days. So I am going to try to take advantage. Maybe clean up some more flower beds and finish mowing before the rest of the yard catches up. 🤞🏻Hope you're enjoying the day Big hugs Lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 Hi lg no Woke up in same way, feelish rubbish, high anxiety but Luisa turned up at 9 with grumpy Jude. I wasn’t even dressed so he got in the shower with me. Luisa went home to sort packing and I looked after a demanding poorly baby until she got back at 1.30 then stayed til 5. I am shattered as it has been every day since Tuesday and tomorrow they will be here as Jordan is away all day at football. Don’t know if it’s distracting me or making me worse. Im so sorry you got upset at drs but good no serious problems health wise. I agree with him don’t do anything until spring I want be either. That’s if I ever get stable, 14 weeks still waiting for relief. I understand what you say about your house becoming a bit of a chain round your neck when workload for it is overwhelming but do you really want to leave a home you built. Very hard decision and probably needs a lot of thought. How lovely to have 70 and be able to enjoy the sun it was cold and windy here but no rain today thank goodness tomorrow big storm expected - lovely. Enjoy your pottering in the garden hope it makes you feel better. Well done on going out I am so impressed. Hugs 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 20, 2017 Author Share Posted October 20, 2017 Scorpio when the 3 of them are gone for a few days, you'll know if it's a distraction or making things worse. My anxiety ramped up up up yesterday as soon as I got to Lauren's. I hate to say that. I love them so much and I know you feel the same, but it's hard when not feeling well. When the anxiety increased, all the other symptoms got so much worse. They're demanding little buggers. I am sorry you're still feeling rubbish. I love that word. Says it all!! I think a few days to yourself is going to make a big difference. Then maybe you're going to have to set limits when it comes to Jude. I know that's easier said than done. I've never turned Lauren down for child care. But she's been staying away lately because she knows that I'm having a hard time dealing with the kids. Even when she's with them. It was so nice today. But I mowed and did a little yard work and didn't really appreciate the day. Didn't practice mindfulness. Headache and nausea are bad and just wanted to finish the job. And the sun on these poor eyes was brutal. So sad! Complain when it's cloudy but can't tolerate the sun. I'm sorry Jude is still feeling bad. Maybe it's the same virus Jonathan had and the antibiotics won't help. He was sick for a week. Couldn't even get him to drink, let alone eat. Have you seen your brother and his wife yet? Hope they don't pop in tonight. Turn off the lights. Lock the doors. Take the phone off the hook and relax. You need some time to yourself. Hugs lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 Hi lg dont know what’s going on with this site but I’m not being notified that you sent a message so having a look every so often. From 1st November Luisa is back to work so will all change. I will have Jude one and a half days a week, one and a half days nursery, Jordan one day and Luisa one day as she is going to work 4 days. So this was the last week really. I will be sad not to see her so much but it will enable me to spend time with Tony. It’s been hard for him this week much as he loves them he likes his own space and he certainly didn’t get any this week. Another write in big letters day. Mowed and working in garden - last week you were a crying wreck not moving. This week yes still dodgy but doing. Plus out last night. You are changing lady! I think he definitely has these infections and the thrush must make it so sore to try and eat but his appetite improved a little today. He has been so whingy and demanding so unlike him he normally is such a happy baby. Oh god my brother and wife came in at two and sat there for one hour sipping their green tea looking a bit put out that Jude and Luisa were here as it stops them holding court all about France and their home over there. So they sit in silence and I have to make the conversation which I really can’t be bothered to do. I haven’t practiced mindfulness, yoga or anything else since Tuesday when I tied myself up in knots. I also am not sure what to do about the suggestion I received to go vegan I definitely know what Tony would say and it’s a very old Anglo Saxon two word phrase that begins with f. Not long now for Paul to be home properly and think of all that money you intend to spend for him when better. Does he have days off next week. Hugs 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 21, 2017 Author Share Posted October 21, 2017 Hey Scorpio as soon as I sent symptoms journal to Shep, saying the last 3 days have been good, omg I started feeling rubbish. Anxiety has ramped up again. Feel just icky. Managed to go out for dinner last night. 6 of us. It was nice. Had little anxiety. But I think I overdid house and yard work. It caught up to me today. Plus I forgot to take mag and omega yesterday. Maybe there's something to it. I think you'll start feeling better when you get on a regular schedule with Jude. I get anxiety anymore just knowing I have to watch the kids. You and Tony will be able to kick back and relax. Maybe do some quiet lunches out and gentle walking. Just having Paul here without the chaos of other people is relaxing to me. Hopefully your brother won't start popping in more, knowing Jude and Luisa won't be there. I can't handle me, me, me, all me kind of people right now. Their conquests don't matter. Usually, im happy for others good fortune but the only thing I care about right now is a clear head and less trembling. Are they at least sympathetic for what you're going through? My family is but they think if they keep talking, they'll distract me from it. When my anxiety is high I don't even hear what they're saying and they're voices make it worse. I don't know about the vegan thing. I'm big on fruits and veggies but I think you need lean protein in your diet. That's just my opinion. And I don't even like meat that much. But Paul is a meat and potato kind of guy. He'll do a big salad for dinner as long as there's grilled chicken in it. But definitely a good diet makes you feel better. I gained 6 lbs according to the dr. So that's good. He said I'm still down 6 lbs from last visit. Id like to gain 15-20 more to fill out my skin. My appetite has gotten much better. I think it's a play games on the phone kind of day. I slept decent but am so tired and wobbly. No motivation to shower yet. Hope your day is decent. Lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 21, 2017 Share Posted October 21, 2017 Hi lg oh that’s typical, but looking at your journal to shep you are doing so much better than even one week ago. It looks to me like you are starting the road to stability. You did a lot yesterday and to then go out to dinner is amazing- again just 10/14 days ago you were being walked round your yard by Paul a sobbing crying heap. I enjoy my fruit and veg but must admit I do enjoy a little meat with it. I don’t eat rubbish food but would love to put weight on you have done so well so put on 6lbs. That’s brilliant- fatty! I still struggle with eating and force banana and yoghurt in the morning, lunch isn’t easy either but the evenings I enjoy more. The fact the anxiety has gone down is so good. as expected we had Luisa and Jude today, I think he’s probably improving but teething as well so still tetchy and quite sleepy but he did lose a lot of sleep over 3 or 4 days. We have had a bad storm today, heavy showers and strong winds, . We went to Chichester and with the wind and rain not very good but we went to carluccios an Italian chain restaurant for lunch. Haven’t done that since July. So big step and I managed to eat a whole lasagne serving plus some of the sharing antipasti board Tony ordered for starters. I just wish I could get past the tinnitus, dreadful not wanting to get out of bed, anxiety and nausea and I would be on my way. Hope today has gotten better for you is Paul finished tomorrow. Hugs 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
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