Littlegrandma Posted October 13, 2017 Author Share Posted October 13, 2017 25 minutes ago, bubble said: You could start a thread on the benzo subsection to get an opinion about your benzo situation. My feeling is stopping Xanax is playing a big role in the time ut is taking for you to stabilise. It doesn't mean you won't. It just explains why it is so hard. Staying the course is the best option. Thanks Bubble Youre struggling so much and I appreciate you responding to me. I hope you're feeling better soon. This just sucks! I'm tired of feeling sorry for myself but what's worse is the anguish it puts my family through. We all want me to be me again. I will post on the benzo forum and see if they can give me any additional advice. I appreciate it. Take care. Lg Sorry about your boss. A hug or at least a sympathetic ear would have gone a lot further Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 13, 2017 Author Share Posted October 13, 2017 35 minutes ago, Scorpio said: Hi lg you poor thing, what a pair we make. I’ve been saying the same thing about the depression and anxiety - sky high and no relief tonight either. It’s hell isnt it. I have the nausea and dizziness too. How’s Jonathan any better. Tomorrow might be better for both of us fingers very tightly crossed. I haven’t done a thing all day. Just moped, cried and moaned a lot does that count as exercise?? Haha i said I was getting my aerobics with my heart rate at 120. I am sick of crying. I am sick of moping. I just want to enjoy life. Glad we have each other. But I wish we were sitting in a cafe overlooking the water, drinking a glass of wine. 🍷Here's to sleeping past 4am Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 13, 2017 Share Posted October 13, 2017 31 minutes ago, bubble said: It's great to see your sense of humour is still here Since last week was better I'm very optimistic things will soon return to that baseline. In the meantime as you advised me: a minute by minute, hour by hour. Time is our friend. Hi bubble you shouldn’t be replying you have enough on your plate at the moment - you should have ignored my moaning but a huge thank you the voice of reason is back, thank goodness. I think both LG and I were getting a little desperate. Feeling so awful and fear go hand in hand and feelings of hopelessness just kick straight back in. Depression hasn’t been a bad symptom until now it’s been more the anxiety, nausea etc etc. But it’s horrible. I hope your boss gets her comeuppance soon, nasty woman. You have to look after yourself bubble we will all still be here moaning when you are better. Thank you again, I take your words to heart it just seems an eternity these 13 weeks of not very many good days but hopefully the better ones are coming for us. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 13, 2017 Share Posted October 13, 2017 Hi lg well we are both keeping fit then so we don’t have that to add to our list of worries. You and me both so sick of crying, moaning, and just feeling so hopeless and helpless ‘oh wouldn’t it be lovely, we will do it in your Hampshire as you have nicer weather, I think we could even stretch to two glasses. How is Jonathan’s fever? Did the website help? Fingers crossed for a good sleep for both of us and that tomorrow you have a window so you can go out for dinner with your nephew. Huge hugs 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 13, 2017 Author Share Posted October 13, 2017 You're Hampshire is prettier but I'm not a fan of the long flight. Our Hampshire has the ChickNdip. Chicken and ice cream. No adult beverages. Ha But the Chicago lakefront is only an hour away. It's a goal. Now hurry up and get better!! Jonathan is still with fever. Dry diaper after 14 hrs. Can not get him to drink but he did eat a little. Poor guy. Now he knows how I feel. Haha I love that website. Didn't get to far in cuz the Cubs were playing. And then I fell asleep before the end of the game. I'm sitting in bed. It's not even 5. Matthew is here with friends using Paul's tools to work on a buddies truck. And Paul is sleeping. It's 73 outside and I'm in bed. What a mess. I tried sitting on the porch but the boys laughter was making me more depressed. And the friggin dogs next door won't shut up. What did they do with littlegrandma? I want her back!! Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 13, 2017 Share Posted October 13, 2017 Hi lg poor little boy, hope he improves quickly, we had the reverse with Jude he pood his nappy four times and is a nightmare when needing to be changed as he crawls away and wriggles so much the content of the nappy can and do go anywhere and everywhere. Tony went to Chicago on a business jolly a few years ago and loved it so when we are both in a good state it would be so good to come there and sit sipping with you and the men can commiserate over what a terrible time they had! Dont worry about being in bed, you are in recovery - that’s what we will call it now, better than stabilisation and w/d. So pleased you liked the site and I’m getting ratty with spelling on that site of your son in laws. blimmin dogs, men, no peace, just shut them out if your head play with your phone and tomorrow is another day to recovery. Sweet dreams 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 13, 2017 Author Share Posted October 13, 2017 Blimey, you brits have a way with words. Paul and Tony will sure have a lot to talk about. They'll probably want to sit at a different table. I'm trying to figure out how to get to the benzo forum. I will not bother Bubble again. Still haven't figured this sight out yet. Takes me forever to get where I want to go. Googling it doesn't take me there. Hopefully you're already in lala land. Talk tomorrow. Hugs lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus bubble Posted October 14, 2017 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 14, 2017 It's here http://survivingantidepressants.org/forum/29-members-only-benzo-forum/ Don't worry about me. It's a distraction. I would also like to add to what Scorpio noted how anxiety has been replaced by depression. That's also a 'normal' pattern of recovery. Anxiety burns out so much of our energy, like all the cells are lit up at their max. Then comes depression as if someone has pulled up a safety switch to protect us. What we feel as depression is a kind of recharge when our brain and body gather all our energy for fixing themselves (leaving us with low energy and no energy to feel positive emotions but feeling all sorts of negative ones because we are concerned about not having access to the otherwise natural flow of life's energy... That's how I see it. But it's a fact that anxiety and depression exchange like that. Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2 2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013) Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg. 2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days afterreinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours 28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr 2015 1 mg, 25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64 Xanax 9 month hold 24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26 Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 14, 2017 Author Share Posted October 14, 2017 Thank you so much. I was just sending out a post for someone to help me find the benzo forum. So foggy tonight. Feel so stupid, I was getting frustrated. That makes so much sense about the anxiety/depression. And I thought about that when I first got relief from the anxiety. Mind and body were tired of fighting and depression was literally down time. But..... why does the anxiety come back to the extreme? And when you get both at the same time, it's incredibly hard to deal with. I think the emotions have been stunted by the drugs for so long. When they come flooding in all at the say time, it's very difficult to sort them out. Not that this is normal anxiety. This is nothing I've ever experienced in my life. It's not easy to breathe through or walk off. But, I dealt with it better the first couple months. When it came roaring back, it blindsided me. I thought that phase was over and time to move on to the next symptom. It's very frustrating and scary. Thanks again for your time. Reading through your posts and others like Shep's makes this whole process a little(a little) less scary. You're so strong. I feel like a little girl in an old woman's body. Some old woman anyway, cuz at the moment I don't feel like it belongs to be. Have a good night. Lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 14, 2017 Share Posted October 14, 2017 Hi lg well bubble worked her magic on both of us - calming, uplifting- what would we do without her support. Hope you found help on the Benzo site. I hope you are sleeping peacefully and wake feeling refreshed and ready to enjoy tonight. I took 1mg melatonin and slept til 7 but couldn’t get up til 8. It is now 9 and I haven’t cried yet so a small improvement to yesterday. Everything is churning away inside but will try and ignore it - think positive. Will speak later to compare the days progress for both of us. Hugs 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 14, 2017 Author Share Posted October 14, 2017 no crying....that's progress. Kinda hard to be positive but I'm trying to adjust my attitude. Woke at 4 again. But it's been thundering all night. And I forgot to shut my phone off. Got 11 weather alerts. And of course the dogs next door were not out in the storm. So can't blame them. By the time I got the link to the benzo sight, I was fed up with the whole thing. Maybe I'll try it later. My brain is moosh and don't even know what to say at this point. Check in with you later. Lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 14, 2017 Share Posted October 14, 2017 Hi lg 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 14, 2017 Author Share Posted October 14, 2017 Are you feeling better? No tears? hope so. Hope not I ventured out in the thunderstorm, pouring buckets, thinking nobody would be out shopping. It's Saturday. Of course they were! me in my yoga pants, chuck taylors, and ball cap praying I didn't run into anybody I knew. Doing deep breathing the whole time. Nothing was real. Everybody looked animated to me. My mom,4 brothers, their spouses and kids are having a Cubs party tonight. My kids will be there. Paul thinks I should at least attempt it but I don't think I could handle the noise. They're a rowdy bunch. I'm feeling a little agoraphobic. Probably why I should try. you doing ok? Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 14, 2017 Share Posted October 14, 2017 Hi lg that little old lady has a twin and she climbed into me too. We will banish both of them once we improve. How has your day been any better are you able to face tonight. Ooh I am not happy in thunderstorms scary. Well I followed your example and made myself wash hair and put makeup on then forced myself out with Tony to southsea shopping and gunwharf. Then supermarket where Luisa and Jude met us which is quite frantic as Jude wants to be crawling or carried by me and I was trying to concentrate on what on earth we are eating this week. Then had him while lu went home to get ironing and stuff done. So pretty tired but no crying, anxiety a little less and nausea gone. So frightened to think it won’t last but a much better day. Huge hugs 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 14, 2017 Share Posted October 14, 2017 Hi lg we wrote at the same time. Snap. At least we both got out and the other day you were in a worse state and went Lauren’s where there was lots of noise and it lifted you. Try and go I’m sure it will make you feel better if you managed to go out this morning you are in a slightly better place like me so go for it. If it all goes against you blame me and call me all the names under the sun tomorrow. We are strong we can do it. Go and have fun. Cant wait to hear about it. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 14, 2017 Author Share Posted October 14, 2017 I'm so glad you got out!! Geesh Just going to the store is such a big deal. It's awesome that you hang with your family. I think some of my friends think I do too much, but hey. I like them. Rather be with my kids than anybody else. And Paul is the same. And Luisa and Lauren are sure lucky to have us granny nannies. Cheap day care. Yeah. I'm going to try tonight. My brother just called and said he'd pick me up. What a child! But I'm going to attempt to drive like a big girl. If it's pouring after dark, I'm screwed. I love thunderstorms!! Hugs lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus bubble Posted October 14, 2017 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 14, 2017 I was just reading the thread on acceptance so thought of sharing it with you two ladies... Acceptance is so hard. To just allow yourself to be where you are and not fight against it, not be mad about it, to get past feeling sad or anxious and just let it be, like it doesn't even matter because it is what it is. Acceptance is a struggle for most people. Challenging. Perhaps the most challenging thing a person can do is accept life as life is. We're not taught to accept. Everything society has to offer teaches us to push and fight and never give up, blah, blah, blah, but I've spent too much of my life doing that and really, the best times when things have gone smoothly were when I just accepted things, letting go of the struggle, and allowing them to be as they were without judgment or feeling like a failure or any of the other emotional garbage that society has ingrained into me if I allow, let things be, give up the battle or fight, stop trying to change it or whatever way you want to put it. To most, it might seem like quitting. But it actually has its roots in buddhism, and buddha was pretty damn wise. He understood the nature of suffering and realized the hell we put ourselves through it pretty fierce. Acceptance ends that hell, but letting go of trying to change things we want desperately to change is quite the challenge. It feels like giving up. I'm writing this because I'm in a place where I have to accept something I don't want to accept. I'm floating in uncertainty and who among us likes that? But if I do not accept this and allow life to be as it is and run its course as it will, then I will suffer far more emotionally and add more stress which will hinder my recovery. I'm sharing this because from many of the posts I've read here, it seems we all struggle with acceptance. So I thought maybe a thread dedicated to it, to sharing what we are struggling with accepting and helping each other with that like they do in those 12 step groups (which are quite helpful to a fair amount of people who frequent them) would be something useful and helpful to all of us. A kind of haven we can go to when we are struggling and get support that can help us accept where we are. A sanctuary for the rough times. Someplace that feels safe and nurturing and comforting. Maybe it will help some of us. It's worth a try, right? So for today, I'm working on accepting that I have these tremors that are a sign I have not recovered and it's all so open ended because of that. The when or will I recover is especially scary. But I have to accept that I don't know. I have to accept that life is what it is and I will just have to let the days go by and not give it attention because that will make it worse for me. It is what it is and I have no power over it. Sad as that makes me, that is how it is right now. So I have to accept it or fight it. I choose not to fight. I hope others will join me in sharing here and helping each other through those rough spots where acceptance offers the best path through them. Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2 2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013) Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg. 2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days afterreinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours 28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr 2015 1 mg, 25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64 Xanax 9 month hold 24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26 Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 14, 2017 Share Posted October 14, 2017 Hi lg you brave lady thunderstorms frighten me to death. Yeah, go for it but accept the lift why drive in the dark and maybe rain if you don’t need to. I prefer my family too can relax and just be when with them. You go and have a great time, even if you don’t want to you will feel better for it - trust me. Have a great evening. Huge hugs. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 14, 2017 Share Posted October 14, 2017 Hi bubble ‘thank you this is such an amazing article and makes me want to try and think differently about how I am coping. Will keep reading this for added support. Hope you are feeling better. I made it out today small improvements, small steps. Huge feeling of joy to be able to do it. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 14, 2017 Author Share Posted October 14, 2017 Thanks Bubble talk about a brave lady! i remember reading that post. Im glad you brought it to our attention. It sounds like something you would write. I think I will copy that and post it on my frig. And read it often. It makes me want to think differently. Acceptance in this situation is so difficult. The only hope I have is the recovery I've seen on SA. Hope you're feeling better today thanks for everything. Lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus bubble Posted October 14, 2017 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 14, 2017 3 minutes ago, Scorpio said: makes me want to try and think differently about how I am coping I'm glad you like it and hope LG will too. Thinking differently is a very long process... If there is any silver lining in this horrible suffering than it is to teach us precisely that. Glad to hear of small improvements! I also felt a bit better! I've also been listening to one other amazing and inspiring lady: https://beyondmeds.com/page/2/ It meant so much to me to hear when she said: Part of my path was being on drugs for 20 years. It made me who I am now. What we are going through now is making us into what we are and will be. It's not what we planned and envisaged for ourselves but it is our life now and it is shaping us. It was very comforting for me today. Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2 2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013) Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg. 2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days afterreinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours 28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr 2015 1 mg, 25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64 Xanax 9 month hold 24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26 Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus bubble Posted October 14, 2017 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 14, 2017 6 minutes ago, Littlegrandma said: It sounds like something you would write. That's so sweet of you to say WD is a harsh teacher and its main lesson is acceptance... I know you don't have the energy but when you manage, consult Shep. She is amazing. when you wrote that sentence about klonopin it reminded me of something called interdose withdrawal. Shep will now more... 8 minutes ago, Littlegrandma said: The only hope I have is the recovery I've seen on SA. That's the same for me and all of us here: we tread in the footsteps of those who walked before us and reached the other side. Monica Cassani from BeyondMeds is one such person. This is what I think about in desperate moments: that healing happens and we just have to endure. Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2 2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013) Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg. 2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days afterreinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours 28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr 2015 1 mg, 25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64 Xanax 9 month hold 24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26 Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 14, 2017 Share Posted October 14, 2017 Hi bubble ‘thank you another link I have now marked on my homepage to be able to refer to. It looks really good Recovery Road was the first site I found that then linked me to sa. Thank goodness for these sites. Where would we all be without them, I hate to think. I am so pleased you are feeling a little better too long may it last. Thank you again bubble you are such a brilliant support to me. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Quest Posted October 15, 2017 Share Posted October 15, 2017 6 hours ago, Littlegrandma said: Thanks Bubble talk about a brave lady! i remember reading that post. Im glad you brought it to our attention. It sounds like something you would write. I think I will copy that and post it on my frig. And read it often. It makes me want to think differently. Acceptance in this situation is so difficult. The only hope I have is the recovery I've seen on SA. Hope you're feeling better today thanks for everything. Lg Hope you had a lovely evening Lg, no rain here, just frost, but the sun came outhave a good night and fingers crossed for a good morrow~ Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 15, 2017 Share Posted October 15, 2017 Hi lg how are you did you brave it or decided against it. Whichever it would have been the right decision. I was awake at 5 this morning same old same old, all symptoms back again. I give up. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 15, 2017 Author Share Posted October 15, 2017 Oh damn. I'm sorry. It's 5 now. I've been awake since 4, so in same boat, again. I did go last night. Even had some laughs. Little anxiety which was replaced by overwhelming fatigue. I had to ask for a ride 1/2 way through the game. Acceptance is hard. I found myself envious of my family eating, drinking, laughing and just being normal. Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 15, 2017 Author Share Posted October 15, 2017 8 hours ago, Quest said: Hope you had a lovely evening Lg, no rain here, just frost, but the sun came outhave a good night and fingers crossed for a good morrow~ 🤞🏻I hope you're day is starting out well and you slept better. Ventured out to small party last night. So fatigued, I kept closing my eyes in the middle of chaos. But still only slept a few hours. We are 30 some days in a row above normal temperatures. Not that I'm enjoying much 🤞🏻Lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Boysmommy2 Posted October 15, 2017 Share Posted October 15, 2017 I hope today brings you much needed relief from your anxiety. I understand the sleep problems unfortunately😳 Reading your thread makes me feel better because you keep going and don't give up. I never post much because I'm never sure what to say but I just wanted you to know I am here if you need an ear. I'm no where near as knowledgeable as the others that have posted though but I'll always listen. Have a wonderful Sunday🌞 Celexa 40mg on it for approximately14 months weaned off July 5, 2017 Ativan 0.5 mg as needed (2-3 times a week) Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 15, 2017 Author Share Posted October 15, 2017 1 hour ago, Boysmommy2 said: I hope today brings you much needed relief from your anxiety. I understand the sleep problems unfortunately😳 Reading your thread makes me feel better because you keep going and don't give up. I never post much because I'm never sure what to say but I just wanted you to know I am here if you need an ear. I'm no where near as knowledgeable as the others that have posted though but I'll always listen. Have a wonderful Sunday🌞 Thank you B i guess we have no choice. It's a game of endurance. The lack of anxiety and little sleep are brutal. But you seem to be handling it all very well. You go to work everyday. That's amazing. I appreciate you lending an ear. Support is always appreciated at this time, as those on the forum are the only people who understand what it's like to go through this w/d. I'm scared, but knowing that I'm not the only one going through this gives me some solace. Not that I would wish this on anybody else, but to know it's normal for some and that there is an end to it someday. Sooner than later, I hope. B, thanks again for your kind words. Please drop by anytime. Support goes both ways, so if you ever need anybody to talk to, I'm here. And I hope your Sunday is great. Are you getting the warm bonus days in Ohio? Lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 15, 2017 Share Posted October 15, 2017 Hi lg wow what a big step, going out at night I am proud of you. The fact you had a few laughs before fatigue hit you is wonderful. I do get the envy of other people living normal lives I am the same. My day got worse, tried to tackle my overgrown garden and put it to bed for the winter with a little pushing from Tony bad mistake two hours later in meltdown again. A crying, sick, anxious me is back, when will I learn. Too much too quick now back to feeling pathetic. I hope your day gets better for you, I am sitting in a heap again. Hugs 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 15, 2017 Author Share Posted October 15, 2017 Scorpio I'm sorry. Again, I don't know what to say. So unfair. How can gardening, something you love and normally so relaxing, just wipe you out like that?? I had hoped you were on your way to a good long window. You sounded good yesterday. I hope you take it easier on yourself this week. I know that's easier said than done. Do you think you could take a few days off from being a granny nanny? I know Jude brings you much joy, but I also know 10 months is the most difficult baby stage to handle. You need to take it easy on your brain, back, and bowels. The 3B's. Ha oh, this sucks!! I wish I could give you a hug, grab a duvet, and watching a funny chick movie with you. I'm under my comforter, listening to the wind howl. Wishing I could go back to sleep. Acceptance. Also easier said than done. Lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 15, 2017 Share Posted October 15, 2017 Hi lg i wish I could join you under the duvet - does that sound strange? You know what I mean. I can’t get time out with Jude next week but the week after they are away for 6 days. Three couples with five children between them staying in a house in Wiltshire for a little break. Jude starts nursery next week so half an hour the first day with his mummy then the next two days 9 -11. He will be starting in November one and a half days a week as the other nana is not well enough to help out with babysitting as previously arranged. I hope he copes ok. You are having a lot of bad weather, thunderstorm then wind but I bet it is still warm. The sun is trying to shine here have even hung out washing in the hope it will dry. Do you have plans for today. Hugs 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 15, 2017 Author Share Posted October 15, 2017 No. That doesn't sound strange at all!! Haha I had a couple girlfriends, my best friend Maggie, died several years ago, and Judy moved to Florida 5 years ago. Anyway, they'd come over on days we weren't working. We'd lay on my sectional, covered from the winter cold, and watch movies. Miss those times. Lauren keeps reminding me that she can find other daycare for the kids. But I don't like that idea. My childhood experience makes me want to protect them. Don't want them with strangers. Plus, I'd be jealous. Their other grandma still works. I love air dried laundry. I'm impressed. My laundry room is on the upper level and we have a walkout basement, so I'd have to do 2 flights of stairs with a basket. Too lazy! Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 15, 2017 Author Share Posted October 15, 2017 Ps Scorpio suppose to meet for breakfast with the whole family, all that were at the party last night. They're meeting at a hoity toity restaurant where my nephew works on the weekends. Finding something to wear sounds too much like work. Don't think I'll make it Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 15, 2017 Share Posted October 15, 2017 Hi lg ooh that sounds lovel and we could have a good old cry watching something like terms of endearment or a giggle watching as good as it gets. Haha I’m the same don’t want him to go to nursery worry about him and like him to myself too. We are such a pair, two peas in an uncomfortable pod. Well I’m lucky I just have to step out the back door fir my washing airer although it feels a bit of a struggle today. Well im not pushing you to go but see how you feel in an hour or so, maybe join them for coffee after the meal. I am hopeless and can’t do things like that at the moment, you are doing so well at making yourself face the fear. I am in awe hugs 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 15, 2017 Author Share Posted October 15, 2017 I love steel magnolias and fried green tomatoes too. Well , Paul took your place on the couch. He came home at 8:30 soaking wet and muddy. The city he was working in got 7 in of rain last night and he works outside. We were going to watch tv together for a bit but he was snoring in 5 minutes. Happy anniversary. I already called in my regrets for breakfast. I have anxiety and extreme fatigue. What an icky combo. I only slept a couple hours. The Ativan and lunesta cause a hangover effect. I can't shake it off this morning. I'm really trying to be strong, but the fear is always biting at my heels. Going to breakfast shouldn't be so hard. But the thought of being in a restaurant is too much. Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
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