keogh08: adverse reaction to citalopram - akathisia?

[brassmonkey]

I got your PM and will be answering here so you have a better record. I'm very sorry to hear that you are still having such a bad reaction after taking the drugs for such a short period of time.

 

First off, in your initial post you mention also taking Sertraline, but there is no further mention of it. Are you still taking it and if not, how long did you take it? Please update your signature.

 

Having the Intrusive Thoughts that these drugs produce can be a truly frightening experience. I had them many times a day during the middle years of my taper. The drugs have a way of digging up the most disturbing things in one's subconscious and displaying them over and over again. With such repetition it is easy for a person to start to believe that the thoughts are actually a part of themselves. They are not, they are only manifestations caused by the drugs and reenforced by our paying attention to them. The more we dwell on them the stronger they become, while the less attention they get the weaker they are.

 

Exposure to these drugs can strip away many of our "formed beliefs" and cause us to rethink many things. However, they do not alter our "core beliefs", the things we truly hold dear. They may shake our faith in those core beliefs but can't change them. Those core beliefs are the key to dealing with the Intrusive Thoughts. When an IT occurs many peoples first reaction is "OMG what am I thinking, that horrible. I must really be a bad person". That reaction gives the IT more of a hold over them and makes it more powerful the next time it happens. Changing our reaction to the IT is how we regain control.

 

When an IT happens, it is best not to react to it. Instead, take a few minutes to step back and look at the thought. Analyse it and see how it actually fits with your core beliefs. If it doesn't fit, then it is a false thought, and you need to react accordingly. "That's not me and you know it" is a good reply, say it directly to the thought and repeat it again and again every time that thought appears. After doing that a number of times, the reaction is changed to "you again, we've been through this before, now just go away". At this point you "change the channel", think about other things and go on with your day.

 

It takes a bit of practice, but over time this technique can be quite helpful for cutting down on the amount and severity of ITs.

[StarShopping87]

I’m currently experiencing the same. Took 3 doses of lexapro and it’s been hell ever since. I’m 7 weeks out. I have seen some improvement in my symptoms and in the last couple days have had more windows than waves, however I’m not sleeping and currently going through a bad wave starting  today. I pray we will heal. This is awful 

[Armorall]

@keogh08 i got worse before I got better. I had expressive aphasia- which was super annoying and I thought I was just going to keep going downhill. I turned a corner after I developed EA at month 12. I also know of someone else who got kaleidoscope vision at a later month, then started turning a corner after that. So, your suspicions were correct, at least for us. I hope you are doing better now! 

[keogh08]

Hi

 

I am almost coming towards 3 years since my AR. 
 

Sadly I am still not recovered. 
 

My main persisting issue is now fatigue. Although I sleep through the night with no known interruptions I struggle daily with debilitating  fatigue. 
 

it has come to the stage now that this hinders my life so much I am considering seeing a GP to see if they can provide stimulants. 
 

Does anyone have any experience of stimulants so far out? 
 

Thanks
 

 

[SlowVeil]

Hello keogh08,

 

Thank you for continuously updating your progress. It has really been a light of hope for me. For daily fatigue I would be cautious about stimulants as I have close ones that tried stimulants but did not really work. Is it possible that you can go check with a sleep specialist to see if there's some problem with your sleep? I am suggesting this because my partner had very debilitating fatigue problem that only resolved after a sleep monitor and we found sleep apnea. Once that treated my partner became way less fatigue.

[keogh08]

Hi

 

So I am almost 36 months out from a servers adverse reaction. 
 

Sadly I have still not turned the corner and still experience some withdrawal. 
 

My main symptom is fatigue, and has been for some time now along with depression and some strange bodily sensations. 
 

It appear that my symptoms are now more physical than mental. For the best part of two years my symptoms were all mental. 
 

I am still hoping and praying that my time will come, but I’m also very aware that it’s have recovered by the 3 year mark. So it might be the case that 4 or 5 tiny tablets have changed me forever. 

[conkaia]

On 3/21/2022 at 7:26 PM, brassmonkey said:

I got your PM and will be answering here so you have a better record. I'm very sorry to hear that you are still having such a bad reaction after taking the drugs for such a short period of time.

 

First off, in your initial post you mention also taking Sertraline, but there is no further mention of it. Are you still taking it and if not, how long did you take it? Please update your signature.

 

Having the Intrusive Thoughts that these drugs produce can be a truly frightening experience. I had them many times a day during the middle years of my taper. The drugs have a way of digging up the most disturbing things in one's subconscious and displaying them over and over again. With such repetition it is easy for a person to start to believe that the thoughts are actually a part of themselves. They are not, they are only manifestations caused by the drugs and reenforced by our paying attention to them. The more we dwell on them the stronger they become, while the less attention they get the weaker they are.

 

Exposure to these drugs can strip away many of our "formed beliefs" and cause us to rethink many things. However, they do not alter our "core beliefs", the things we truly hold dear. They may shake our faith in those core beliefs but can't change them. Those core beliefs are the key to dealing with the Intrusive Thoughts. When an IT occurs many peoples first reaction is "OMG what am I thinking, that horrible. I must really be a bad person". That reaction gives the IT more of a hold over them and makes it more powerful the next time it happens. Changing our reaction to the IT is how we regain control.

 

When an IT happens, it is best not to react to it. Instead, take a few minutes to step back and look at the thought. Analyse it and see how it actually fits with your core beliefs. If it doesn't fit, then it is a false thought, and you need to react accordingly. "That's not me and you know it" is a good reply, say it directly to the thought and repeat it again and again every time that thought appears. After doing that a number of times, the reaction is changed to "you again, we've been through this before, now just go away". At this point you "change the channel", think about other things and go on with your day.

 

It takes a bit of practice, but over time this technique can be quite helpful for cutting down on the amount and severity of ITs.

Thanks for this. I’m really struggling with intrusive thoughts and images, they are overwhelming. 

[keogh08]

So I am headed into my fourth year of protracted withdrawal from an instant reaction to a few doses of citalopram. 
 

I am saddened that after all this time I am not yet recovered. 
 

I still suffer with debilitating fatigue, lack of motivation some mild depression, intermittent intrusive thoughts and exercise intolerance. 
 

I am angry that some people can take these drugs for decades and not suffer for this amount of time. 
 

if I had to list my most frustrating symptom it would be fatigue. I find I can sleep for hours on end uninterrupted but I still do not wake up refreshed. 
 

Can anyone recommend a supplement that may help to lift some of this fatigue. Diet sadly does not improve things much and the recommend supplements do not seem to yield any benefits. 
 

thanks

[Altostrata]

I am sorry you are feeling so poorly. Are you able to do any amount of exercise?

[angela9985]

Hi keogh08,

I am so so sorry for your suffering. You deserve better. 

Just wanna tell you that, though I know debilitating fatigue is horrible as I am experiencing it myself(I cannot watch TV for longer than 20mins, plus I cannot even sleep well), your symptoms are changing over the time and from a third person's point of view it is much better than before, lesser bad at least. 

I am in PAWS of SSRIs, but before this hell I withdrawed from mitarzepine CT after three months' max dosage use(45mg). My W/D lasted for months and was similar to yours symptom wise. And the last stage of it is what you are suffering rn: cannot keep awake, felt tired all the time, slept all the time. After this fatigue period my W/D from mirtazepine was over. 

Of course our experiences are different, but after reading your posts I am surprised how similar your journey is with my experience with mirtazepine. I cannot guarantee that this is your last stage but this was my last stage. And I of course hope this to be your last stage of this hellish journey too. There are evidences out there that brains fix themselves while sleep, so maybe just take this chance and give brain a break after this long time's hard working?

Lastly, I wanna thank you for being so strong. You suffer the hell on earth but yet you were still working and living positively. I hope all the best for you and your girl.

[keogh08]

@angela9985 Thank you so much Angela. I really needed to hear this!

 

I hope you are right and this is the final stage. 
 

I find it really hard to predict where I am in my healing as I have never typically followed the waves and windows motions. But you are right I sure am better in a lot of ways than a few years ago. 
 

@Altostrata sadly I cannot tolerate more than roughly 15 minutes exercise of moderate endurance. Once my heart rate spikes I find I become dizzy and somewhat derealised. I have been trying to build my tolerance up but have never managed to exceed it or these feelings. I went for a 15 minute jog at the end of August and I needed to spend 3 days in bed. I had flu like symptoms and major fatigue for over a week later. 

[Altostrata]

Are you sleeping a lot?

 

No need to push yourself. Ten minutes of walking at a time is good enough.

[keogh08]

@Altostrata yes I would say I am. I don’t seem to have any natural wake-up anymore. I use alarms for work and find it difficult to wake up. If I sent no alarm I could sleep way over 12 hours if uninterrupted. 
 

I don’t have daytime naps though. I push beyond the tiredness and wait until bedtime so I don’t disturb my routine further. 

[Altostrata]

How has your symptom pattern changed since this post

 

[keogh08]

Hi @Altostrata

 

Thinking about it my symptom pattern hasn’t changed a great deal in the last 2/3 years. 
 

I probably deal with the exact same issues minus the headaches and migraines which subsided a lot. My tinnitus has also calmed down a great deal. The last few nights I haven’t noticed it. 
 

But ultimately there has not been much improvement in my symptoms since the above post. 
 

Thanks 

Duana

[Altostrata]

On 1/6/2023 at 2:11 AM, keogh08 said:

I probably deal with the exact same issues minus the headaches and migraines which subsided a lot. My tinnitus has also calmed down a great deal. The last few nights I haven’t noticed it. 

 

We would recognize these as improvements.

[keogh08]

Hi

 

I wondered whether anyone knew of any people who recovered over 4 years from such a short time use? I’ve found there is no easy way to view success stories based on a time frame. 
 

I have been thinking a lot lately about what my actual symptoms are. I have come to the realisation that I still suffer a great deal with quite a lot of symptoms so far out. 
 

The more time that passes leaves me with less hope. When I had my instant adverse reaction as horrific as it was, I remembered life before it. Where as now I do not. I cannot remember what it feels like to not suffer every day. 
 

I’m going to post my symptoms mainly for documenting purposes;

 

Brain fog

Fatigue

Lack of motivation

Depression

Inability to loose weight/Weight Gain

Exercise Intolerence 

Intrusive thoughts

Catastrophic Thinking

Low Mood

Slow metabolism

Neck Pain

Tinnitus

Anger

Neuro Emotions

Chronic Sinusitis

Dry throat and mouth during the night

Head Pressure

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Altostrata]

Hello, @keogh08, how are you doing?

[keogh08]

Hi @Altostrata

 

Thank you for checking in. 
 

I wish I could tell you that I am healed and no longer experiencing PAWS. Sadly that is not the case. 
 

My symptom pattern has changed though, I find my issues more physical in nature than mental. I still struggle with the odd intrusive thought and possible some mild depression given how long I have been on this journey. 
 

Things I still struggle with;

 

Fatigue - not as debilitating but still present. 
 

Chronic swollen glands and neck pain front and back. 
 

Headaches frequently. 
 

With that said my cycles have improved a great deal - this month in particular aside for some added fatigue and brain fog I had no other noticeable symptoms. This is incredible for me. 
 

I find I would remain fairly stable the first two weeks of my cycle, healthy eating and feeling positive. Only to sabotage when it hit. I would find I could not hold conversations and felt as though my brain was fried. 
 

I am yet to have windows per se, still frustrated I’m taking a great deal of time to heal. I try not to assume that my healing process is over though, and try to remain optimistic. 
 

Thanks

[Altostrata]

It does sound like you are seeing improvement, which is a good sign! Hang in there.

 

Have you tried these? Many people find them to be helpful:

 

Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker 

Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil) 

 

You might try a low dose of one at a time to see what it does for you.

[SlowVeil]

hello keogh, glad to see you are still updating. how are your other physical symptoms? do the tinnitus and metabolism issue still bother you? or are they completely gone? i think i acquired tinnitus from remeron as well. it happened nearly 2 months after my initial adr from vraylar and remeron.

[keogh08]

Hi @SlowVeil

 

Sadly no I am still plagued my metabolic issues and low level tinnitus which is present but not to bothersome. Just a reminder I’m not recovered yet. 

[keogh08]

Hi

 

At 44 months out I still suffer tremendously. I would considered myself one of the more extreme cases of an adverse reaction. 
 

To this day I still cannot exercise more than ten minutes, if I do I suffer immensely with brain fog and fatigue, anger irritability pain in my neck. I am now overweight and have gained over 3 stone since the reaction. The concept move more and eat less no longer applies here. I’m unfit, and exhausted from this ordeal. 
 

I still cannot feel emotions, other than anger and irritability. That is all I feel. I can no longer feel happiness, or sadness. I cannot feel music. I cannot read. Both activities I throughly enjoyed prior to my reaction. I can no longer sing, something which was a massive part of me. 
 

My eyesight is still blurred I cannot clearly focus even with glasses. 

I have acid reflux, and contestant neck pain along with throat fullness, globus sensation. 
 

Every day is a struggle. I do not experience waves and windows like most people it’s either bad or really bad. 
 

My face shape has changed, I have pockets of fat either side of my cheeks and my eyes are sunken. I lost the fat beneath them. 
 

In addition it would appear I am now unable to conceive. After having a successful natural pregnancy prior to my reaction I am now struggling in this area too. We planned on waiting until I was better, but better doesn’t seem to come and each year I get older. 

 

[keogh08]

@Altostrata I have recently been diagnosed with low cortisol and I am looking for some advice. 
 

I see that it’s common for people in withdrawal to have high cortisol rather than low. Therefore information is limited. 
 

A quick google suggests that first line treatment is steroids. Could this be risky for me or anyone in withdrawal. 
 

I want to gain some quality of life and I think addressing the chronic fatigue may help with this. 

[Altostrata]

Hello, @keogh08 How were you diagnosed for low cortisol?

 

Have you been diagnosed with an endocrinological condition or autoimmune condition?

 

 

[keogh08]

Hi @Altostrata

 

Thank you for getting back to me. 

I was diagnosed from a series of blood tests taken in both the am and pm, both showed low levels. 
 

I am under endocrinology at the moment but the investigations have been quite slow. 
 

 

[lynneat]

4 hours ago, keogh08 said:

Hi @Altostrata

 

Thank you for getting back to me. 

I was diagnosed from a series of blood tests taken in both the am and pm, both showed low levels. 
 

I am under endocrinology at the moment but the investigations have been quite slow. 
 

 

 

[lynneat]

I THOUGHT blood work could tell the level of psych meds!  My family member's doctor has never done that!  Does anyone know where I can find documentation to present to her?  Thanks!

[keogh08]

Hi

 

I wasn’t tested for psych meds only cortisol. 

[lynneat]

On 10/16/2019 at 3:36 PM, keogh08 said:

Hi

 

I started with anxiety and panic attacks almost a month ago, I had been under stress at work and had lost my appetite and considerable amount of weight, and was not sleeping. My GP prescribed Citalopram 20mg, and within a few hours of taking this I was almost crazy, pacing up and down the house, feeling I needed to get out of my own body and on day 3 started with horrible dark thoughts and images of me killing myself. Mainly the images were around knives. I must stress that prior to taking this medication I  had never had a dark or suicidal thought.On day 7 of taking this drug I stopped due to the awful side affects which I now believe was Akathisia. I seen a private pysicatrist who put this down to a bad reaction with the citalopram and recommended sertraline, I waited almost two weeks before taking the sertraline as the dark thoughts still persisted, the majority of the other symptoms seems to subside. Earlier this week I started on the sertraline 25mg, once again the same symptoms have returned as in the beginning when taking the citalopram, this is only on day 2 of the sertraline. I have only recently learned about this condition but I am now going to discontinue with the sertraline given that Akathisia can last longer than the time the medication was taken. Has anyone experienced this due to the combination of these SSRI's? My GP is absolutely no help at the minute hence me having to seek help privately. 

I had a horrible job that made me cry alot...short story.. I went for cbt counseling and got rid of it. They gave me coping skills that worked. He told me the meds are for chemical imbalance And to quiet the emergency emotions...long term the cut was the cure for me. Best of luck. 

[Altostrata]

On 8/3/2023 at 1:10 PM, keogh08 said:

I was diagnosed from a series of blood tests taken in both the am and pm, both showed low levels. 

 

Did an endocrinologist order the tests? Your endocrinologist will do further tests to see what's interfering with the hormone production. This may be a physical condition, not a psychiatric disorder.

[keogh08]

@Altostrata yes the endocrinologist ordered the tests. I have been under them for some time for fatigue. 
 

Out of all of the blood tests I have had I have never been tested for cortisol so I requested it at my last visit. Funnily enough I had a phone call shortly after stating my levels were low still. 
 

I am due to go into hospital again on Thursday and hoping for a plan. 
 

I am happy to know that this may very well be a physical issue and not psychiatric.  With that said I am still suffering from mental symptoms. Could this all be a case of me having the low cortisol I wonder. 
 

[keogh08]

On 8/4/2023 at 11:53 PM, Altostrata said:

 

Did an endocrinologist order the tests? Your endocrinologist will do further tests to see what's interfering with the hormone production. This may be a physical condition, not a psychiatric disorder.

I hope I have interpreted your response correctly. Do you mean to say that some of my issues could be related to the cortisol rather than psychiatric disorder? Thank you. 

[Altostrata]

Some of your symptoms may be related to a physical condition -- a medical condition -- rather than a psychiatric disorder. You might have an endocrinological condition that was misdiagnosed in 2019.

 

You might also have had an unusual adverse reaction from taking citalopram for a short time in 2019. Among our members, we have a small group of people who never did get along very well with the antidepressant. Many have had severe adverse drug reactions (ADR) within a few doses.

 

These people, who are tagged "immediate ADR", have symptoms that are like protracted withdrawal syndrome but they don't have withdrawal syndrome, they have similar symptoms because their nervous systems were upset by taking the drug. Their recovery is slow, with frustrating waves and windows, like people with withdrawal syndrome. 

 

Please read Immediate adverse reactions to an antidepressant or within a few doses? How long for recovery?

 

I am sorry you are having difficulty.

[keogh08]

Thank you @Altostrata  

 

If the low cortisol turns out to be a red herring I am starting to consider the possibility of starting a very low dose anti depressant. 
 

I know this comes with hell of a lot of risk but I am seriously struggling with life at the moment. 
 

I am  not sure how much longer I can try and ride this out. 

[Altostrata]

Suggest you investigate the low cortisol first. If it can be treated, you might not have the symptoms that are like withdrawal symptoms.

 

We do not advise any kind of reinstatement for a condition arising from immediate adverse drug reaction.