Ninabird Posted June 14, 2022 Share Posted June 14, 2022 @arbor Despite going through this nightmare, you, @Ariel and so many others write so elegantly. My heart hurts for all of you who are in the storm of WD. This is a state that I wish on no one. I am so proud of your strength. I am jealous you live in Oregon. I learned how to wind surf on the waters of the CRG many years ago. Hood River is missed by me. Much respect, @Ninabird PREVIOUS 2018 Ativan 1mg Oct-Jan (CT), 2019 Effexor 75mg, Klonopin .25mg, Trazadone 75mg, Bridge to Prozac (?dose), 2020 Taper off all, 2021 Zoloft (?dose), Jan-May (CT @ Hospital), Remeron (?dose) Trazadone 75mg, Propanolol (?dose), Klonopin .50mg, Buspar (?dose), 2021 Prozac (?dose), Trazadone 75mg, Klonopin 2 times a day, 2021 August fast taper Trazadone Prozac fast taper in August. August Lexapro 10mg 2022 January Lexapro to 25mg, February FT to 10mg Lexapro over 6 weeks, Klonopin .25mg 2 times a day, May Effexor 35mg, June bridge from Effexor to 30mg Cymbalta. Held on Lexapro until November. supplements 2023 Jan Probiotics stopped taking after two weeks ADR April 1k Iu Vitamin D W/ K stopped after a few days ADR. March 50mg Mag glycinate stopped after a week ADR January 2023 - added an additional .25 mg Klonopin (.25 mg three times a day) CURRENT 1/23-Present Klonopin .75mg divided into .25mg 3 times a day. 6:30am, 12:00pm, 6:30pm 1/23Present Lexapro .101 mgpw - 8.08 mgai 8:00am 1/23-Present Estradiol .50mg 8:00am 1/23-Present 30mg Cymbalta 12:30pm 6/23 to present Holding no changes 7/4 reduced Lexapro to 7.92mg 7/31 7.84mg 8/7 7.76mg 7/14 7.60mg 10/1 7.44mg 10/28 7.36mg 2/1 7.12mg 2/14 7.04mg 3/5/24 6.88mg 3/12 6.80mg 4/29 6.48mg Link to comment
dantesjourney Posted June 15, 2022 Share Posted June 15, 2022 @arbor Just to tell you that I am close to you and I wish you some peace in this difficult journey, D 1 From 1998 to 2008 paroxetine; from september 2008 to april 2010 escitalopram; from february 2011 to july 2011 escitalopram; from september 2011 to march 2013 venlafaxine 75 mg; from march 2013 to september 2013 venlafaxine 37,5 mg; from january 2014 to august 2016 venlafaxine 75 mg; september 2016 to december 2016 venlafaxine 37,5; march 2017 to october 2017 venlafaxine 75 mg (problems not working); from december 2018 to august 2018 escitalopram 10 ; from december 2018 to july 2019 sertraline 50 mg; last attempt (disaster) vortioxetine 27 november 2019- 5 february 2020 CTed; now almost 10 month SSRI free Link to comment
almuPA Posted June 15, 2022 Share Posted June 15, 2022 Hello dear @arbor, On 5/28/2022 at 11:14 PM, arbor said: I'm still cobbling together a little more sleep. It's making a difference. So good to read that. I hope it still goes on and that you can find some peace in this aspect of WD. I am also happy to read that your tests have shown improvements and that you were brave enough to go to the doctor. On 5/28/2022 at 11:14 PM, arbor said: t's green here. Moss grows in the trees and ferns grow from the moss. The plushness soothes my fratchety nerves. Many people find the rain depressing, but I find it right now--congruent. As if it were sympathizing. Thank you for that image, it is like I could be there and it feels refreshing. It is 42°C where I am at the moment, so I appreciate it! On 5/20/2022 at 9:25 PM, arbor said: I wish my mind were strong enough to be a good moderator. I know you may be talking about tappering and messurments and stuff like that, but please, don't doubt that you are great mod! Your words encourages us more than we can explain in this difficult situation. Your compassion and wisdom is exactly what we need, and it is even more surprising and valuable knowing that you are going through the same. I am sorry about the situation with your neighbor. It is difficult to know how to handle and react in a situation like this, and WD makes everything a bit more complicate. Unfortunately, as soium pointed put, some people just seem to react when you confront them in a non polite way, sort to speak. I send you a big hug. 2 March 2019: 10mg Citalopram April 2019: 20mg Citalopram October/November 2019(sorry, I don't remember the exact date): 10mg of Citalopram without tapering, as suggested by my pharmacist. March 2020: Started "tapering", taking the 10mg of Citalopram every other day, again, following the recommendations of my pharmacist. April 2020: Stopped taking Citalopram. I haven't reinstall since then. I've tried taking Magnesium a couple of times, but I found out it makes me nervous. I only take Paracetemol when the headache becomes unbearable (2gr every couple of weeks or so). Link to comment
Ariel Posted June 15, 2022 Share Posted June 15, 2022 23 hours ago, arbor said: Recently I made a vow that I will stop using the word, "psychopath" when talking with my friends ("psychopath neighbor, psychopath pharmaceutical CEO's, psychopath politicians"). Now--as a seeming result--I am wordless! Thank you, @arbor, this made me laugh <3 1 1996-2018 - misc. polypharmacy, incl. SSRIs, SNRIs, neuroleptics, lithium, benzos, stimulants, antihistamines, etc. (approx. 30+ drugs) 2012-2018 - 10mg lexapro/escitalopram (20mg?) Jan. 2018 - 10mg -> 5mg, then from 5mg -> 2.5mg, then 0mg --> July 2018 - 0mg 2017(?)-2020 - vyvanse/lisdexamfetamine 60-70mg 2020-2021 - 70mg down to 0mg --> July 2021 - 0mg March-April 2021 - vortioxetine 5-10mg (approx. 7 weeks total; CT) --> April 28th, 2021 - 0mg August 2021 - 2mg melatonin August 1, 2022 - 1mg melatonin March 31, 2023 - 0mg melatonin 2024 supplements update: electrolyte blend in water sipped throughout the day; 1 tsp fish oil blend w/ morning meal (incl. vit. A+D+E); calcium; vitamin C+zinc Courage is fear that has said its prayers. - Karle Wilson Baker love and justice are not two. without inner change, there can be no outer change; without collective change, no change matters. - Rev. angel Kyodo williams Holding multiple truths. Knowing that everyone has their own accurate view of the way things are. - text on homemade banner at Afiya house I am not a medical professional; this is not medical advice. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus arbor Posted June 17, 2022 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted June 17, 2022 Hi @NinabirdThank you for your kind message: On 6/14/2022 at 4:13 PM, Ninabird said: My heart hurts for all of you who are in the storm of WD. This is a state that I wish on no one. I am so proud of your strength. I am jealous you live in Oregon. I learned how to wind surf on the waters of the CRG many years ago. Hood River is missed by me. I have friends who live in the Gorge and love to wind surf. With all the recent rain, the waterfalls are working overtime. I send you hugs, Arbor Zoloft: 1995 - 2015 Prozac: 2015 - 2018 (tapered from 40mg x day on July 31 to 30mg on August 31 to 20mg on September 31 to 10mg October 31 to 0mg on December 15, 2018 Gabapentin: 2016 to 2019 (tapered from 300mg x day to 150mg on August 31, 2019 to 75mg on September 15 to 50mg on September 31 to 25ishmg on October 15 to 0mg on December 1, 2019 Enalapril: 2010 - 2019 Lipitor: 2017 -2017 Metformin: 2000 - 2020 Liothyronine: 2007 - 2019 Levothyroxine: 2000 - 2022 Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus arbor Posted June 17, 2022 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted June 17, 2022 Thank you @dantesjourney--Your words help a lot. We are in this together, Arbor Zoloft: 1995 - 2015 Prozac: 2015 - 2018 (tapered from 40mg x day on July 31 to 30mg on August 31 to 20mg on September 31 to 10mg October 31 to 0mg on December 15, 2018 Gabapentin: 2016 to 2019 (tapered from 300mg x day to 150mg on August 31, 2019 to 75mg on September 15 to 50mg on September 31 to 25ishmg on October 15 to 0mg on December 1, 2019 Enalapril: 2010 - 2019 Lipitor: 2017 -2017 Metformin: 2000 - 2020 Liothyronine: 2007 - 2019 Levothyroxine: 2000 - 2022 Link to comment
Moderator Onmyway Posted June 20, 2022 Moderator Share Posted June 20, 2022 Dear @arbor I was thinking of you. No pressure to write an update but know that you are in my thoughts and I would love to know how things are. May you be in peace. Sending you warm hugs OMW 1 "Nothing so small as a moment is insurmountable, and moments are all that we have. You have survived every trial and tribulation that life has thrown at you up until this very instant. When future troubles come—and they will come—a version of you will be born into that moment that can conquer them, too." - Kevin Koenig I am not a doctor and this should not be considered medical advice. You can use the information and recommendations provided in whatever way you want and all decisions on your treatment are yours. In the next few weeks I do not have a lot of capacity to respond to questions. If you need a quick answer pls tag or ask other moderators who may want to be tagged. Aug 2000 - July 2003 (ct, 4-6 wk wd) , citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn, wellbutrin for a few months, trazodone prn Dec 2004 - July 2018 citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn (rarely used) Aug 2018 - citalopram 40 mg (self titrated up) September 2018 - January 2019 tapered citalopram - 40/30/20/10/5 no issues until a week after reaching 0 Feb 2019 0.25 xanax - 0.5/day (3 weeks) over to klonopin 0.25 once a day to manage severe wd March 6, reinstated citalopram 2.5 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 mg for sleep 2-3 times a week Apr 1st citalopram 2.0 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 once a week (off by 4/14/19- no tapering) citalopram (liquid) 4/14/19 -1.8 mg, 5/8/19 - 1.6 mg, 7/27/19 -1.5 mg, 8/15/19 - 1.35, 2/21/21 - 1.1 (smaller drops in between), 6/20/21 - 1.03 mg, 8/7/21- 1.025, 8/11/21 - 1.02, 8/15/21 - 1.015, 9/3/21 - 0.925 (fingers crossed!), 10/8/21 - 0.9, 10/18/21 - 0.875, 12/31/21 - 0.85, 1/7/22 - 0.825, 1/14/22 - 0.8, 1/22/22 - 0.785, 8/18/22 - 0.59, 12/15/2022 - 0.48, 2/15/22 - 0.43, 25/07/23 - 0.25 (mistake), 6/08/23 - 0.33mg Supplements: magnesium citrate and bi-glycinate Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus arbor Posted June 20, 2022 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted June 20, 2022 Dear @almuPAI so appreciate your message. I've been concerned about the heatwave you've been in and am hoping you were able to stay cool. The climate extremes are terribly distressing. Your message has buoyed me through a rough patch. I'm not out of it yet, but kind wishes like yours help me to not lose hope. I hope your move is working out and that you are finding greater relief from w/d. You are in my heart-- Arbor💜 1 Zoloft: 1995 - 2015 Prozac: 2015 - 2018 (tapered from 40mg x day on July 31 to 30mg on August 31 to 20mg on September 31 to 10mg October 31 to 0mg on December 15, 2018 Gabapentin: 2016 to 2019 (tapered from 300mg x day to 150mg on August 31, 2019 to 75mg on September 15 to 50mg on September 31 to 25ishmg on October 15 to 0mg on December 1, 2019 Enalapril: 2010 - 2019 Lipitor: 2017 -2017 Metformin: 2000 - 2020 Liothyronine: 2007 - 2019 Levothyroxine: 2000 - 2022 Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus arbor Posted June 20, 2022 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted June 20, 2022 Thank you @Onmywayfor dropping by. I hope you're doing better and that recent changes have improved your environment. It seemed that I was doing better for a week or more, but problems with sleep have returned. An hour and a half last night. Luckily my schedule is light today. As I lay awake, I couldn't help remembering a dear acquaintance who didn't make it through w/d. It was a few years ago, and while we knew the doctors were piling on drugs and then withdrawing them rapidly, we didn't know--she didn't know--what was happening to her. Prior to the medical escapade (following a divorce) she'd been in my eyes exceptionally imperturbable. I can hardly express my gratitude that this Forum is here, and that we are surviving together, even healing. I send you big hugs, Arbor Zoloft: 1995 - 2015 Prozac: 2015 - 2018 (tapered from 40mg x day on July 31 to 30mg on August 31 to 20mg on September 31 to 10mg October 31 to 0mg on December 15, 2018 Gabapentin: 2016 to 2019 (tapered from 300mg x day to 150mg on August 31, 2019 to 75mg on September 15 to 50mg on September 31 to 25ishmg on October 15 to 0mg on December 1, 2019 Enalapril: 2010 - 2019 Lipitor: 2017 -2017 Metformin: 2000 - 2020 Liothyronine: 2007 - 2019 Levothyroxine: 2000 - 2022 Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Carmie Posted June 20, 2022 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted June 20, 2022 Hi Arbor, I’m really sorry you’re struggling to sleep, it’s hard just laying awake all night. That’s really sad to hear about your dear acquaintance as well. These meds cause so much distress. I hope you’re able to get some better sleep soon🧡 1 Seroquel. 2019:➡️ From 7.25mg to 5.80mg. 2020➡️5.60 to 4.80. 2021➡️4.60 to 4.0. 2022➡️3.95 to 3.55. 2023➡️ From 3.50 to 3.25. 2024➡️Jan15=3.20✔️ Feb19=3.15✔️ March26=3.10✔️May1=3.05✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor. Link to comment
Oaktree1 Posted June 20, 2022 Share Posted June 20, 2022 @arbor I am very sorry to hear that your sleep is still disturbed after all this time. I don't think the neighbour situation is helping and that is separate to withdrawal. Please know that I think of you often and hope that things will improve soon. Oaktree 1 Currently tapering Mirtazapine; previously tapered Cymbalta 30mg from June 2018-Feb 2019 and Seroquel 150mg to zero from Oct-December 2020. Supplements for Hashimoto's disease and histamine issues relating to Mirtazapine: Vitamin D3 1,000mcg, bio-identical HRT, Selenium, Quercetin, Lutein, Zinc, Vitamin C, Omega 3. Mirtazapine Taper: 2021 16th Aug - transitioned to liquid from tablet by dissolving two 15mg tablets into a solution of 15 ml water and 15 ml maple syrup on a starting dose of what I thought was 7.5ml; 17 Sept - 7.31; 24 Sept - 7.13; 15 Oct - 6.95; 6 Nov - 6.78; 21 Nov - 6.61; 5 Dec - 6.51; 2022 - 1 Jan 6.41; 1 Feb - 6.1; 9 Mar - 5.8; 13 Mar - 5.9; 7 Apr - 5.8; 21 Apr - 5.7; 7 May - 5.63; 23 May - 5.55; 8 June 5.50; (got COVID on 12th June so held); 1 July 5.4; 15 July 5.32; 8 Aug 5.2; 15 Aug 5.1; 22 Aug 5; 19 Sept 4.9; 2 Oct 4.81; 13 Oct 4.71; (COVID Booster 17/10/22 so longer hold ); 1 Nov 4.65; 3 Nov 4.60; 10 Nov 4.55; 13 Nov 4.50; 17 Nov 4.45; 20 Nov 4.40; 2 Dec 4.30mg; 9 Dec 4.20mg; I discovered that the volumetric container measured 33ml rather than 30ml in Dec 2022. Following helpful advice from moderator OnMyWay (see her reply of the 5th March) discovered taper with the dilution was 3.8mg (calculated by dividing 30/33 so that every 1ml of solution has 0.90ml of Mirtazapine. 7.50 - 0.90= 6.6ml which was the starting dose on 16th Aug 2021 not 7.5ml). I decided to keep using the solution as I didn't want more change to deal with than I had to. 2023 17 Mar 4.1(3.7); 26 Mar 4.0(3.6); 14 Apr 3.9(3.51)28 Apr 3.8(3.42); 6 Jun 3.7(3.33); 19 Jun 3.6(3.24); 30 Jun 3.5(3.1); 19 Jul 3.4(3.06); 27 Jul 3.35 (3.01); 29 Jul 3.3 (2.97); 4 Aug 3.25 (2.92); 7 Aug 3.2 (2.88); 21 Aug 3.1 (2.79); 14.09 3 (2.7); 29th Sept 2.9(2.61); 15 Oct 2.8(2.52); 30 Oct 10 2.7(2.43); 13 Nov 2.65(2.38); 20 Nov 2.6(2.34); 26 Nov 2.55(2.29); 10 Dec 2.5(2.25); 2024 - 14 Jan 2.45(2.20); 22 Jan 2.40(2.16); 29 Jan 2.35(2.11); 2 Feb 2.3 (2.07);15 Feb 2.25(2.02); 22 Feb 2.21 (1.98); 29 Feb 2.17(1.95); 7 Mar 2.13(1.91); 21 Mar 2.05 (1.84); 31 Mar 2.01 (1.80); 14 Apr 1.90 (1.71); 29 Apr 1.80 (1.62); This is not 'medical advice' - my 'non medical advice' is don't get any more 'medical advice' or you may end up getting more 'medical treatment' i.e more drugs, DSM labels and/or ECT. Please do not PM me thanks. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus arbor Posted June 21, 2022 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted June 21, 2022 Dear @Oaktree1💜 I had a chance to read your post just before embarking on my fussy, w/d, bed-time rituals last night. The kindness of your commiseration was the last thought, and lo & behold, I slept enough to call it a good night. It was so good of you. I imagine a quick pop over to Pluto to give you a hug. May your day go well, a positive step in what feels like a cha cha, cha cha cha (2 steps back, 3 steps forward) of recovery. Thinking of you, Arbor🌳 1 Zoloft: 1995 - 2015 Prozac: 2015 - 2018 (tapered from 40mg x day on July 31 to 30mg on August 31 to 20mg on September 31 to 10mg October 31 to 0mg on December 15, 2018 Gabapentin: 2016 to 2019 (tapered from 300mg x day to 150mg on August 31, 2019 to 75mg on September 15 to 50mg on September 31 to 25ishmg on October 15 to 0mg on December 1, 2019 Enalapril: 2010 - 2019 Lipitor: 2017 -2017 Metformin: 2000 - 2020 Liothyronine: 2007 - 2019 Levothyroxine: 2000 - 2022 Link to comment
Ariel Posted June 21, 2022 Share Posted June 21, 2022 6 minutes ago, arbor said: embarking on my fussy, w/d, bed-time rituals YES, haha, same here Hi @arbor Sending you an appreciative goodnight hug <3 8 minutes ago, arbor said: what feels like a cha cha, cha cha cha (2 steps back, 3 steps forward) of recovery Love this, thank you Healing thoughts and wishes, cha cha cha A. 1 1996-2018 - misc. polypharmacy, incl. SSRIs, SNRIs, neuroleptics, lithium, benzos, stimulants, antihistamines, etc. (approx. 30+ drugs) 2012-2018 - 10mg lexapro/escitalopram (20mg?) Jan. 2018 - 10mg -> 5mg, then from 5mg -> 2.5mg, then 0mg --> July 2018 - 0mg 2017(?)-2020 - vyvanse/lisdexamfetamine 60-70mg 2020-2021 - 70mg down to 0mg --> July 2021 - 0mg March-April 2021 - vortioxetine 5-10mg (approx. 7 weeks total; CT) --> April 28th, 2021 - 0mg August 2021 - 2mg melatonin August 1, 2022 - 1mg melatonin March 31, 2023 - 0mg melatonin 2024 supplements update: electrolyte blend in water sipped throughout the day; 1 tsp fish oil blend w/ morning meal (incl. vit. A+D+E); calcium; vitamin C+zinc Courage is fear that has said its prayers. - Karle Wilson Baker love and justice are not two. without inner change, there can be no outer change; without collective change, no change matters. - Rev. angel Kyodo williams Holding multiple truths. Knowing that everyone has their own accurate view of the way things are. - text on homemade banner at Afiya house I am not a medical professional; this is not medical advice. Link to comment
Oaktree1 Posted June 21, 2022 Share Posted June 21, 2022 3 hours ago, arbor said: I had a chance to read your post just before embarking on my fussy, w/d, bed-time rituals last night. The kindness of your commiseration was the last thought, and lo & behold, I slept enough to call it a good night. It was so good of you @arbor I am glad that the short note I left helped you with sleep yesterday. It is 12am at night now (or in the morning whatever way you view things where I am) and I am commencing my own bedtime ritual which I keep as short as possible so I don't have to think - dang I wish I was good at mindfulness for doing the humdrum things that make up most of my day. As it is I currently spend time in the evenings watching 'Better Call Saul' and now 'Breaking Bad' which I have seen three times already from start to finish. It's my way of visiting New Mexico - I can never get enough of American drama - everything is bigger, funnier and wilder over there - to my mind at least on TV . I know that I don't know what it's really like to live there and faraway hills are green but the US and the UK are imaginative hinterlands for me. Anyhow I hope there will be more steps forward for you as time goes on. Oaktree 1 Currently tapering Mirtazapine; previously tapered Cymbalta 30mg from June 2018-Feb 2019 and Seroquel 150mg to zero from Oct-December 2020. Supplements for Hashimoto's disease and histamine issues relating to Mirtazapine: Vitamin D3 1,000mcg, bio-identical HRT, Selenium, Quercetin, Lutein, Zinc, Vitamin C, Omega 3. Mirtazapine Taper: 2021 16th Aug - transitioned to liquid from tablet by dissolving two 15mg tablets into a solution of 15 ml water and 15 ml maple syrup on a starting dose of what I thought was 7.5ml; 17 Sept - 7.31; 24 Sept - 7.13; 15 Oct - 6.95; 6 Nov - 6.78; 21 Nov - 6.61; 5 Dec - 6.51; 2022 - 1 Jan 6.41; 1 Feb - 6.1; 9 Mar - 5.8; 13 Mar - 5.9; 7 Apr - 5.8; 21 Apr - 5.7; 7 May - 5.63; 23 May - 5.55; 8 June 5.50; (got COVID on 12th June so held); 1 July 5.4; 15 July 5.32; 8 Aug 5.2; 15 Aug 5.1; 22 Aug 5; 19 Sept 4.9; 2 Oct 4.81; 13 Oct 4.71; (COVID Booster 17/10/22 so longer hold ); 1 Nov 4.65; 3 Nov 4.60; 10 Nov 4.55; 13 Nov 4.50; 17 Nov 4.45; 20 Nov 4.40; 2 Dec 4.30mg; 9 Dec 4.20mg; I discovered that the volumetric container measured 33ml rather than 30ml in Dec 2022. Following helpful advice from moderator OnMyWay (see her reply of the 5th March) discovered taper with the dilution was 3.8mg (calculated by dividing 30/33 so that every 1ml of solution has 0.90ml of Mirtazapine. 7.50 - 0.90= 6.6ml which was the starting dose on 16th Aug 2021 not 7.5ml). I decided to keep using the solution as I didn't want more change to deal with than I had to. 2023 17 Mar 4.1(3.7); 26 Mar 4.0(3.6); 14 Apr 3.9(3.51)28 Apr 3.8(3.42); 6 Jun 3.7(3.33); 19 Jun 3.6(3.24); 30 Jun 3.5(3.1); 19 Jul 3.4(3.06); 27 Jul 3.35 (3.01); 29 Jul 3.3 (2.97); 4 Aug 3.25 (2.92); 7 Aug 3.2 (2.88); 21 Aug 3.1 (2.79); 14.09 3 (2.7); 29th Sept 2.9(2.61); 15 Oct 2.8(2.52); 30 Oct 10 2.7(2.43); 13 Nov 2.65(2.38); 20 Nov 2.6(2.34); 26 Nov 2.55(2.29); 10 Dec 2.5(2.25); 2024 - 14 Jan 2.45(2.20); 22 Jan 2.40(2.16); 29 Jan 2.35(2.11); 2 Feb 2.3 (2.07);15 Feb 2.25(2.02); 22 Feb 2.21 (1.98); 29 Feb 2.17(1.95); 7 Mar 2.13(1.91); 21 Mar 2.05 (1.84); 31 Mar 2.01 (1.80); 14 Apr 1.90 (1.71); 29 Apr 1.80 (1.62); This is not 'medical advice' - my 'non medical advice' is don't get any more 'medical advice' or you may end up getting more 'medical treatment' i.e more drugs, DSM labels and/or ECT. Please do not PM me thanks. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus arbor Posted June 22, 2022 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted June 22, 2022 Thank you @CarmieIt's so good of you to come by and give me a boost. Your understanding truly helps. I hope that you are doing ok today. I read that you've recently made a cut, but have been doing ok. May that continue💜 I send you hugs and healing wishes🌞🕊️ Arbor Zoloft: 1995 - 2015 Prozac: 2015 - 2018 (tapered from 40mg x day on July 31 to 30mg on August 31 to 20mg on September 31 to 10mg October 31 to 0mg on December 15, 2018 Gabapentin: 2016 to 2019 (tapered from 300mg x day to 150mg on August 31, 2019 to 75mg on September 15 to 50mg on September 31 to 25ishmg on October 15 to 0mg on December 1, 2019 Enalapril: 2010 - 2019 Lipitor: 2017 -2017 Metformin: 2000 - 2020 Liothyronine: 2007 - 2019 Levothyroxine: 2000 - 2022 Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Carmie Posted June 23, 2022 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted June 23, 2022 5 hours ago, arbor said: Thank you @CarmieIt's so good of you to come by and give me a boost. Your understanding truly helps. I hope that you are doing ok today. I read that you've recently made a cut, but have been doing ok. May that continue💜 I send you hugs and healing wishes🌞🕊️ Arbor Thanks for the hugs Arbor, we certainly all need them, don’t we? Struggling to sleep must be so very hard for you, I hope you manage to get some sleep here and there. I’ve had nights where I’ve barely slept as well, but in general it’s not too bad at the moment. The thing that has helped me the most is wearing blue light glasses in the evening. When I’ve forgotten to put them on I find it a lot harder to fall asleep. That being said, some nights it still takes a long time to fall asleep as my nervous system is so on edge from these meds, but it’s been much better since wearing the glasses every evening. I wear prescription glasses so I just bought the blue light clip ons to put over my glasses. And, yes, my cut is still going okay so far, thanks. I’ve only been able to taper just over 1% every time though. It’s amazing how severe the waves can get even with such a small drop. We are all just taking a day at a time, aren’t we? We just have to face whatever each day brings our way. Not all that much fun, but we can’t change it. I hope you have a nice day. Sending more hugs your way🤗🧡 Seroquel. 2019:➡️ From 7.25mg to 5.80mg. 2020➡️5.60 to 4.80. 2021➡️4.60 to 4.0. 2022➡️3.95 to 3.55. 2023➡️ From 3.50 to 3.25. 2024➡️Jan15=3.20✔️ Feb19=3.15✔️ March26=3.10✔️May1=3.05✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor. Link to comment
Ariel Posted June 27, 2022 Share Posted June 27, 2022 @arbor Thinking of you <3 1996-2018 - misc. polypharmacy, incl. SSRIs, SNRIs, neuroleptics, lithium, benzos, stimulants, antihistamines, etc. (approx. 30+ drugs) 2012-2018 - 10mg lexapro/escitalopram (20mg?) Jan. 2018 - 10mg -> 5mg, then from 5mg -> 2.5mg, then 0mg --> July 2018 - 0mg 2017(?)-2020 - vyvanse/lisdexamfetamine 60-70mg 2020-2021 - 70mg down to 0mg --> July 2021 - 0mg March-April 2021 - vortioxetine 5-10mg (approx. 7 weeks total; CT) --> April 28th, 2021 - 0mg August 2021 - 2mg melatonin August 1, 2022 - 1mg melatonin March 31, 2023 - 0mg melatonin 2024 supplements update: electrolyte blend in water sipped throughout the day; 1 tsp fish oil blend w/ morning meal (incl. vit. A+D+E); calcium; vitamin C+zinc Courage is fear that has said its prayers. - Karle Wilson Baker love and justice are not two. without inner change, there can be no outer change; without collective change, no change matters. - Rev. angel Kyodo williams Holding multiple truths. Knowing that everyone has their own accurate view of the way things are. - text on homemade banner at Afiya house I am not a medical professional; this is not medical advice. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus arbor Posted June 27, 2022 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted June 27, 2022 Hi @Carmie and @Ariel--I hope you're doing ok today. I had a couple of better days, but today again, difficulty with sleep feels discouraging. I'm watching the negative stories my mind spins, and grimly working on patience. Sending you warm thoughts. I so appreciate you, Arbor💜 2 Zoloft: 1995 - 2015 Prozac: 2015 - 2018 (tapered from 40mg x day on July 31 to 30mg on August 31 to 20mg on September 31 to 10mg October 31 to 0mg on December 15, 2018 Gabapentin: 2016 to 2019 (tapered from 300mg x day to 150mg on August 31, 2019 to 75mg on September 15 to 50mg on September 31 to 25ishmg on October 15 to 0mg on December 1, 2019 Enalapril: 2010 - 2019 Lipitor: 2017 -2017 Metformin: 2000 - 2020 Liothyronine: 2007 - 2019 Levothyroxine: 2000 - 2022 Link to comment
Oaktree1 Posted June 28, 2022 Share Posted June 28, 2022 Hi @arbor Just sending you a quick message to let you know I am thinking of you and hoping for continued improvement for you. Had a bad dose of Covid and just recovering now so am not posting much just reading - hence quick message. The longer you are off these drugs the more improvement I hope will come to you. Oaktree 2 Currently tapering Mirtazapine; previously tapered Cymbalta 30mg from June 2018-Feb 2019 and Seroquel 150mg to zero from Oct-December 2020. Supplements for Hashimoto's disease and histamine issues relating to Mirtazapine: Vitamin D3 1,000mcg, bio-identical HRT, Selenium, Quercetin, Lutein, Zinc, Vitamin C, Omega 3. Mirtazapine Taper: 2021 16th Aug - transitioned to liquid from tablet by dissolving two 15mg tablets into a solution of 15 ml water and 15 ml maple syrup on a starting dose of what I thought was 7.5ml; 17 Sept - 7.31; 24 Sept - 7.13; 15 Oct - 6.95; 6 Nov - 6.78; 21 Nov - 6.61; 5 Dec - 6.51; 2022 - 1 Jan 6.41; 1 Feb - 6.1; 9 Mar - 5.8; 13 Mar - 5.9; 7 Apr - 5.8; 21 Apr - 5.7; 7 May - 5.63; 23 May - 5.55; 8 June 5.50; (got COVID on 12th June so held); 1 July 5.4; 15 July 5.32; 8 Aug 5.2; 15 Aug 5.1; 22 Aug 5; 19 Sept 4.9; 2 Oct 4.81; 13 Oct 4.71; (COVID Booster 17/10/22 so longer hold ); 1 Nov 4.65; 3 Nov 4.60; 10 Nov 4.55; 13 Nov 4.50; 17 Nov 4.45; 20 Nov 4.40; 2 Dec 4.30mg; 9 Dec 4.20mg; I discovered that the volumetric container measured 33ml rather than 30ml in Dec 2022. Following helpful advice from moderator OnMyWay (see her reply of the 5th March) discovered taper with the dilution was 3.8mg (calculated by dividing 30/33 so that every 1ml of solution has 0.90ml of Mirtazapine. 7.50 - 0.90= 6.6ml which was the starting dose on 16th Aug 2021 not 7.5ml). I decided to keep using the solution as I didn't want more change to deal with than I had to. 2023 17 Mar 4.1(3.7); 26 Mar 4.0(3.6); 14 Apr 3.9(3.51)28 Apr 3.8(3.42); 6 Jun 3.7(3.33); 19 Jun 3.6(3.24); 30 Jun 3.5(3.1); 19 Jul 3.4(3.06); 27 Jul 3.35 (3.01); 29 Jul 3.3 (2.97); 4 Aug 3.25 (2.92); 7 Aug 3.2 (2.88); 21 Aug 3.1 (2.79); 14.09 3 (2.7); 29th Sept 2.9(2.61); 15 Oct 2.8(2.52); 30 Oct 10 2.7(2.43); 13 Nov 2.65(2.38); 20 Nov 2.6(2.34); 26 Nov 2.55(2.29); 10 Dec 2.5(2.25); 2024 - 14 Jan 2.45(2.20); 22 Jan 2.40(2.16); 29 Jan 2.35(2.11); 2 Feb 2.3 (2.07);15 Feb 2.25(2.02); 22 Feb 2.21 (1.98); 29 Feb 2.17(1.95); 7 Mar 2.13(1.91); 21 Mar 2.05 (1.84); 31 Mar 2.01 (1.80); 14 Apr 1.90 (1.71); 29 Apr 1.80 (1.62); This is not 'medical advice' - my 'non medical advice' is don't get any more 'medical advice' or you may end up getting more 'medical treatment' i.e more drugs, DSM labels and/or ECT. Please do not PM me thanks. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus arbor Posted June 29, 2022 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted June 29, 2022 Thank you for this, @Oaktree1 I'm so sorry to hear that you're down with Covid. Golly, you've got all kinds of things going on. I hope you recover soon, and that w/d issues back off so you can have some peace. I'm up and down, depending mainly on my sleep (or lack of). Even at 43 months off, I haven't been able to establish a pattern to when or why the insomnia strikes--in spite of taking melatonin, though I do feel it deepens the sleep I do get. I hope you feel the metta I'm sending your way🕊️🙏 Arbor💜 1 Zoloft: 1995 - 2015 Prozac: 2015 - 2018 (tapered from 40mg x day on July 31 to 30mg on August 31 to 20mg on September 31 to 10mg October 31 to 0mg on December 15, 2018 Gabapentin: 2016 to 2019 (tapered from 300mg x day to 150mg on August 31, 2019 to 75mg on September 15 to 50mg on September 31 to 25ishmg on October 15 to 0mg on December 1, 2019 Enalapril: 2010 - 2019 Lipitor: 2017 -2017 Metformin: 2000 - 2020 Liothyronine: 2007 - 2019 Levothyroxine: 2000 - 2022 Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Carmie Posted June 30, 2022 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted June 30, 2022 On 6/28/2022 at 6:48 AM, arbor said: Hi @Carmie and @Ariel--I hope you're doing ok today. I had a couple of better days, but today again, difficulty with sleep feels discouraging. I'm watching the negative stories my mind spins, and grimly working on patience. Sending you warm thoughts. I so appreciate you, Arbor💜 I’m sorry you’re struggling to sleep Arbor, I have some sleepless nights here and there too, sometimes it’s trouble trying to fall asleep and sometimes it’s waking up early and not being able to fall asleep again. Generally though I still get sleep though. I guess the low doses of Seroquel I’m on now kind of have a an antihistamine affect which can help with sleeping a bit. Not looking forward to rebound insomnia when it happens. I’m glad to hear that the melatonin help the deepness of your sleep a little. Sending hug and wishing you a few good nights of sleep🤗 Seroquel. 2019:➡️ From 7.25mg to 5.80mg. 2020➡️5.60 to 4.80. 2021➡️4.60 to 4.0. 2022➡️3.95 to 3.55. 2023➡️ From 3.50 to 3.25. 2024➡️Jan15=3.20✔️ Feb19=3.15✔️ March26=3.10✔️May1=3.05✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus arbor Posted July 2, 2022 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 2, 2022 On 6/30/2022 at 2:51 AM, Carmie said: Sending hug and wishing you a few good nights of sleep🤗 Thank you @CarmieI'm still struggling, but your kind words help me to feel less stressed about it. All my best to you on this journey we're taking. Hugs in return, Arbor💜 Zoloft: 1995 - 2015 Prozac: 2015 - 2018 (tapered from 40mg x day on July 31 to 30mg on August 31 to 20mg on September 31 to 10mg October 31 to 0mg on December 15, 2018 Gabapentin: 2016 to 2019 (tapered from 300mg x day to 150mg on August 31, 2019 to 75mg on September 15 to 50mg on September 31 to 25ishmg on October 15 to 0mg on December 1, 2019 Enalapril: 2010 - 2019 Lipitor: 2017 -2017 Metformin: 2000 - 2020 Liothyronine: 2007 - 2019 Levothyroxine: 2000 - 2022 Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Carmie Posted July 3, 2022 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 3, 2022 10 hours ago, arbor said: Thank you @CarmieI'm still struggling, but your kind words help me to feel less stressed about it. All my best to you on this journey we're taking. Hugs in return, Arbor💜 Yes, I can imagine the stress of struggling to sleep every night Arbor, you poor thing, It’s funny because we’ve just been talking about insomnia from these meds, and you wouldn’t believe it, I forgot to take the Seroquel last night as I was stressed about lots of other things and I was still awake at 4am in the morning. I just thought I was awake because of being stressed, until I realised I’d forgotten my meds. I ended up taking them at 4am instead of the evening then and got a couple of hours of sleep. I have no ill effects from the time difference. It’s the evening now here and I’ll take them again in a few hours. How much melatonin do you take? You said it helps a little bit as in getting a little deep sleep, is that correct? If I end up getting rebound insomnia I might check that out too. Did you start getting insomnia as soon as you jumped off your meds? I’ve still got forever to go until that happens. Take care dear Arbor🧡 1 Seroquel. 2019:➡️ From 7.25mg to 5.80mg. 2020➡️5.60 to 4.80. 2021➡️4.60 to 4.0. 2022➡️3.95 to 3.55. 2023➡️ From 3.50 to 3.25. 2024➡️Jan15=3.20✔️ Feb19=3.15✔️ March26=3.10✔️May1=3.05✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus arbor Posted July 3, 2022 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 3, 2022 Thank you @Carmie Yes, I experienced insomnia right away after CT Prozac. I started with .5mg melatonin and now take 3mg before bed and 3mg during the night. I'm glad you're not currently experiencing insomnia. All my best to you! Arbor 2 Zoloft: 1995 - 2015 Prozac: 2015 - 2018 (tapered from 40mg x day on July 31 to 30mg on August 31 to 20mg on September 31 to 10mg October 31 to 0mg on December 15, 2018 Gabapentin: 2016 to 2019 (tapered from 300mg x day to 150mg on August 31, 2019 to 75mg on September 15 to 50mg on September 31 to 25ishmg on October 15 to 0mg on December 1, 2019 Enalapril: 2010 - 2019 Lipitor: 2017 -2017 Metformin: 2000 - 2020 Liothyronine: 2007 - 2019 Levothyroxine: 2000 - 2022 Link to comment
Oaktree1 Posted July 3, 2022 Share Posted July 3, 2022 @arbor I hope this is not intrusive re the melatonin but a young psychiatrist who was a devotee of Kelly something the nutritional psychiatrist I met several months ago told me that if I wanted to take melatonin to take it six hours before bed not just before bed. I am mindful that you still have bad insomnia so just wanted to add this. You may have already tried that so sorry in advance if this is the case. Oaktree Currently tapering Mirtazapine; previously tapered Cymbalta 30mg from June 2018-Feb 2019 and Seroquel 150mg to zero from Oct-December 2020. Supplements for Hashimoto's disease and histamine issues relating to Mirtazapine: Vitamin D3 1,000mcg, bio-identical HRT, Selenium, Quercetin, Lutein, Zinc, Vitamin C, Omega 3. Mirtazapine Taper: 2021 16th Aug - transitioned to liquid from tablet by dissolving two 15mg tablets into a solution of 15 ml water and 15 ml maple syrup on a starting dose of what I thought was 7.5ml; 17 Sept - 7.31; 24 Sept - 7.13; 15 Oct - 6.95; 6 Nov - 6.78; 21 Nov - 6.61; 5 Dec - 6.51; 2022 - 1 Jan 6.41; 1 Feb - 6.1; 9 Mar - 5.8; 13 Mar - 5.9; 7 Apr - 5.8; 21 Apr - 5.7; 7 May - 5.63; 23 May - 5.55; 8 June 5.50; (got COVID on 12th June so held); 1 July 5.4; 15 July 5.32; 8 Aug 5.2; 15 Aug 5.1; 22 Aug 5; 19 Sept 4.9; 2 Oct 4.81; 13 Oct 4.71; (COVID Booster 17/10/22 so longer hold ); 1 Nov 4.65; 3 Nov 4.60; 10 Nov 4.55; 13 Nov 4.50; 17 Nov 4.45; 20 Nov 4.40; 2 Dec 4.30mg; 9 Dec 4.20mg; I discovered that the volumetric container measured 33ml rather than 30ml in Dec 2022. Following helpful advice from moderator OnMyWay (see her reply of the 5th March) discovered taper with the dilution was 3.8mg (calculated by dividing 30/33 so that every 1ml of solution has 0.90ml of Mirtazapine. 7.50 - 0.90= 6.6ml which was the starting dose on 16th Aug 2021 not 7.5ml). I decided to keep using the solution as I didn't want more change to deal with than I had to. 2023 17 Mar 4.1(3.7); 26 Mar 4.0(3.6); 14 Apr 3.9(3.51)28 Apr 3.8(3.42); 6 Jun 3.7(3.33); 19 Jun 3.6(3.24); 30 Jun 3.5(3.1); 19 Jul 3.4(3.06); 27 Jul 3.35 (3.01); 29 Jul 3.3 (2.97); 4 Aug 3.25 (2.92); 7 Aug 3.2 (2.88); 21 Aug 3.1 (2.79); 14.09 3 (2.7); 29th Sept 2.9(2.61); 15 Oct 2.8(2.52); 30 Oct 10 2.7(2.43); 13 Nov 2.65(2.38); 20 Nov 2.6(2.34); 26 Nov 2.55(2.29); 10 Dec 2.5(2.25); 2024 - 14 Jan 2.45(2.20); 22 Jan 2.40(2.16); 29 Jan 2.35(2.11); 2 Feb 2.3 (2.07);15 Feb 2.25(2.02); 22 Feb 2.21 (1.98); 29 Feb 2.17(1.95); 7 Mar 2.13(1.91); 21 Mar 2.05 (1.84); 31 Mar 2.01 (1.80); 14 Apr 1.90 (1.71); 29 Apr 1.80 (1.62); This is not 'medical advice' - my 'non medical advice' is don't get any more 'medical advice' or you may end up getting more 'medical treatment' i.e more drugs, DSM labels and/or ECT. Please do not PM me thanks. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus arbor Posted July 4, 2022 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 4, 2022 Thank you for this info @Oaktree1! Maybe it'll do the trick. I appreciate your sharing. Sure do hope you're feeling better from the Covid and the vertigo, etc. You've been going through such a lot. Thinking of you. Sending hugs, Arbor 1 Zoloft: 1995 - 2015 Prozac: 2015 - 2018 (tapered from 40mg x day on July 31 to 30mg on August 31 to 20mg on September 31 to 10mg October 31 to 0mg on December 15, 2018 Gabapentin: 2016 to 2019 (tapered from 300mg x day to 150mg on August 31, 2019 to 75mg on September 15 to 50mg on September 31 to 25ishmg on October 15 to 0mg on December 1, 2019 Enalapril: 2010 - 2019 Lipitor: 2017 -2017 Metformin: 2000 - 2020 Liothyronine: 2007 - 2019 Levothyroxine: 2000 - 2022 Link to comment
Ariel Posted July 4, 2022 Share Posted July 4, 2022 Hi @arbor Just chiming in re melatonin. This may be obvious but just in case, here goes. It's most effective to take melatonin on an empty stomach. I'm usually 5-6 hours fasted by the time I take my dose. I don't think such a long time is necessary, but minimum 2 hours is probably good and I'd think that longer is helpful. Just my opinion based on personal experience, I have no scientific evidence or research to quote. I'm sorry about such trouble sleeping, dear arbor. I feel for you and with you. @Faure shared some brilliant sleep advice with me, "Pretend you're asleep," that has been helping a lot. It has brought some lightness and ease to laying my head down. Sending you a hug, A. 1996-2018 - misc. polypharmacy, incl. SSRIs, SNRIs, neuroleptics, lithium, benzos, stimulants, antihistamines, etc. (approx. 30+ drugs) 2012-2018 - 10mg lexapro/escitalopram (20mg?) Jan. 2018 - 10mg -> 5mg, then from 5mg -> 2.5mg, then 0mg --> July 2018 - 0mg 2017(?)-2020 - vyvanse/lisdexamfetamine 60-70mg 2020-2021 - 70mg down to 0mg --> July 2021 - 0mg March-April 2021 - vortioxetine 5-10mg (approx. 7 weeks total; CT) --> April 28th, 2021 - 0mg August 2021 - 2mg melatonin August 1, 2022 - 1mg melatonin March 31, 2023 - 0mg melatonin 2024 supplements update: electrolyte blend in water sipped throughout the day; 1 tsp fish oil blend w/ morning meal (incl. vit. A+D+E); calcium; vitamin C+zinc Courage is fear that has said its prayers. - Karle Wilson Baker love and justice are not two. without inner change, there can be no outer change; without collective change, no change matters. - Rev. angel Kyodo williams Holding multiple truths. Knowing that everyone has their own accurate view of the way things are. - text on homemade banner at Afiya house I am not a medical professional; this is not medical advice. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus arbor Posted July 4, 2022 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 4, 2022 Thank you for chiming in @Ariel. I appreciate all input on melatonin and sleep. Please know I'm thinking of you all, and am so glad you're there. Tonight I will implement these new suggestions. Hugs and well-wishes, Arbor 1 Zoloft: 1995 - 2015 Prozac: 2015 - 2018 (tapered from 40mg x day on July 31 to 30mg on August 31 to 20mg on September 31 to 10mg October 31 to 0mg on December 15, 2018 Gabapentin: 2016 to 2019 (tapered from 300mg x day to 150mg on August 31, 2019 to 75mg on September 15 to 50mg on September 31 to 25ishmg on October 15 to 0mg on December 1, 2019 Enalapril: 2010 - 2019 Lipitor: 2017 -2017 Metformin: 2000 - 2020 Liothyronine: 2007 - 2019 Levothyroxine: 2000 - 2022 Link to comment
Moderator DataGuy Posted July 15, 2022 Moderator Share Posted July 15, 2022 (edited) @arbor, I hope you are doing ok. I thought this post from Slate Star Codex on melatonin might be helpful: Melatonin: much more than you wanted to know. He is a psychiatrist by training, but I won't hold that against him. He suggests the best dose of melatonin is 0.3mg, and that it is a much more substance than people appreciate. I think he is right. Just the other day, JAMA put out this report on melatonin being consumed by children: Young Children Increasingly Ingest Melatonin, With Serious Outcomes. I think all the same cautions which apply to psych drugs should apply to melatonin. It may be a bit milder and more natural, but it can still have some pretty serious consequences. Included in the JAMA report: "Variable melatonin dosages in over-the-counter (OTC) products may contribute to serious outcomes, the CDC report authors noted. For example, a study of OTC melatonin supplements sold in Ontario, Canada, found that the melatonin content was as much as 478% higher than the label indicated in some products and could fluctuate substantially among lots." Sorry to hear you are still having trouble sleeping, arbor. I am too, of course. Although I do have my better periods where I sleep 5+ hours for a few nights in a row. I still don't think I have slept for than 6 hours in any one night except when I was sick with covid in 2020. So my body is capable of it...if I am tired enough. Please keep well. DG Edited July 15, 2022 by DataGuy 1 Remeron - 2004-2005 (bad withdrawal) Clonazepam - 2005-2018 (jumped around March) Olanzapine - 2014- late 2017 Domperidone - 2008-2018 Many drugs in between including Lexapro, other benzos and z-drugs. Still suffering post-withdrawal from Clonazepam (Klonopin), Olanzapine and Domperidone. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus arbor Posted July 15, 2022 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 15, 2022 @Oaktree1@Ariel@DataGuyand @BrokenWings I so appreciate your input and support. I seem to be following an uneven pattern that oscillates between good and bad sleep. Not unusual from what I read here. Happily the recent bout of bad sleep broke in the last 2 nights with 81/2 and 7hr of what felt like heaps of sleep. Who knows what tonight will bring. I'm learning from recent studies that age, sex, and metabolism also make for important differences in study outcomes. Today I can say that my tinnitus continues to decrease in volume and that the numbness in my left big toe is less. The symptoms fluctuate during the day, or with stress, but the baseline is better. If that will last, I don't know. I sure hope you all are doing ok. The thought of reclaiming my life from Big Pharma (and surviving the recovery) keeps me going. I must say, on those days without decent sleep, optimism is sheer fantasy, or rather it's just a blank space in my mind that I have to struggle to keep despairing thoughts from entering. Exhaustion on top of exhaustion. Yesterday I let myself luxuriate in feeling rested. I want for all of us to heal enough to be able to cultivate "inner rest." I think of you everyday! Arbor 3 Zoloft: 1995 - 2015 Prozac: 2015 - 2018 (tapered from 40mg x day on July 31 to 30mg on August 31 to 20mg on September 31 to 10mg October 31 to 0mg on December 15, 2018 Gabapentin: 2016 to 2019 (tapered from 300mg x day to 150mg on August 31, 2019 to 75mg on September 15 to 50mg on September 31 to 25ishmg on October 15 to 0mg on December 1, 2019 Enalapril: 2010 - 2019 Lipitor: 2017 -2017 Metformin: 2000 - 2020 Liothyronine: 2007 - 2019 Levothyroxine: 2000 - 2022 Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus arbor Posted July 15, 2022 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 15, 2022 Oh, also I want to share this video if people are interested and haven't seen it. What an exceptional human being: Whitaker - Treatments Alternative to Psychiatry - March 8, 2019 - Dispuk - CPH https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5DliuhZJR9A Attachments area Preview YouTube video Whitaker - Treatments Alternative to Psychiatry - March 8, 2019 - Dispuk - CPH Whitaker - Treatments Alternative to Psychiatry - March 8, 2019 - Dispuk - CPH 1 Zoloft: 1995 - 2015 Prozac: 2015 - 2018 (tapered from 40mg x day on July 31 to 30mg on August 31 to 20mg on September 31 to 10mg October 31 to 0mg on December 15, 2018 Gabapentin: 2016 to 2019 (tapered from 300mg x day to 150mg on August 31, 2019 to 75mg on September 15 to 50mg on September 31 to 25ishmg on October 15 to 0mg on December 1, 2019 Enalapril: 2010 - 2019 Lipitor: 2017 -2017 Metformin: 2000 - 2020 Liothyronine: 2007 - 2019 Levothyroxine: 2000 - 2022 Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus arbor Posted July 16, 2022 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 16, 2022 Whoops, I wanted to also include you @Carmiein the above update as I've really appreciated your support with the difficulty of w/d insomnia. I send you a hug and hopes you are doing ok, Arbor 1 Zoloft: 1995 - 2015 Prozac: 2015 - 2018 (tapered from 40mg x day on July 31 to 30mg on August 31 to 20mg on September 31 to 10mg October 31 to 0mg on December 15, 2018 Gabapentin: 2016 to 2019 (tapered from 300mg x day to 150mg on August 31, 2019 to 75mg on September 15 to 50mg on September 31 to 25ishmg on October 15 to 0mg on December 1, 2019 Enalapril: 2010 - 2019 Lipitor: 2017 -2017 Metformin: 2000 - 2020 Liothyronine: 2007 - 2019 Levothyroxine: 2000 - 2022 Link to comment
Moderator Onmyway Posted July 16, 2022 Moderator Share Posted July 16, 2022 I am so glad you found some respite and managed to get a bit more sleep @arbor. I am hoping the current window goes unabated for a while. Lack of sleep is one of the hardest things about withdrawal for me as well! Big hugs, OMW 1 "Nothing so small as a moment is insurmountable, and moments are all that we have. You have survived every trial and tribulation that life has thrown at you up until this very instant. When future troubles come—and they will come—a version of you will be born into that moment that can conquer them, too." - Kevin Koenig I am not a doctor and this should not be considered medical advice. You can use the information and recommendations provided in whatever way you want and all decisions on your treatment are yours. In the next few weeks I do not have a lot of capacity to respond to questions. If you need a quick answer pls tag or ask other moderators who may want to be tagged. Aug 2000 - July 2003 (ct, 4-6 wk wd) , citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn, wellbutrin for a few months, trazodone prn Dec 2004 - July 2018 citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn (rarely used) Aug 2018 - citalopram 40 mg (self titrated up) September 2018 - January 2019 tapered citalopram - 40/30/20/10/5 no issues until a week after reaching 0 Feb 2019 0.25 xanax - 0.5/day (3 weeks) over to klonopin 0.25 once a day to manage severe wd March 6, reinstated citalopram 2.5 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 mg for sleep 2-3 times a week Apr 1st citalopram 2.0 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 once a week (off by 4/14/19- no tapering) citalopram (liquid) 4/14/19 -1.8 mg, 5/8/19 - 1.6 mg, 7/27/19 -1.5 mg, 8/15/19 - 1.35, 2/21/21 - 1.1 (smaller drops in between), 6/20/21 - 1.03 mg, 8/7/21- 1.025, 8/11/21 - 1.02, 8/15/21 - 1.015, 9/3/21 - 0.925 (fingers crossed!), 10/8/21 - 0.9, 10/18/21 - 0.875, 12/31/21 - 0.85, 1/7/22 - 0.825, 1/14/22 - 0.8, 1/22/22 - 0.785, 8/18/22 - 0.59, 12/15/2022 - 0.48, 2/15/22 - 0.43, 25/07/23 - 0.25 (mistake), 6/08/23 - 0.33mg Supplements: magnesium citrate and bi-glycinate Link to comment
Healingcontinues Posted July 16, 2022 Share Posted July 16, 2022 11 hours ago, arbor said: The thought of reclaiming my life from Big Pharma (and surviving the recovery) keeps me going. I must say, on those days without decent sleep, optimism is sheer fantasy, or rather it's just a blank space in my mind that I have to struggle to keep despairing thoughts from entering. Exhaustion on top of exhaustion. Yesterday I let myself luxuriate in feeling rested. I want for all of us to heal enough to be able to cultivate "inner rest." Oh @arbor I am so sorry that you are still suffering so long after you stopped the drugs. I can relate to this so much, after another night of zero sleep. This is my motivation too, although the exhaustion and constant battle can be so taxing and today I feel like giving up. On days like this I feel like I am pushing water up hill too. Going to have to dig extra deep for the resilience and hope of recovery today. You are in my thoughts and you are not alone ❤️ 1 Drug history: zoloft 2015-May 2021 max dose 200mg (3 month fast taper) lexapro 5mg August 2021-September 2021 (adverse reaction, CT) amitriptyline and tempazepam- September 2021 (1 week because of severe insomnia. Did not help. CT) 2018-September 2021 Intermittent use of benzodiazepines (mainly oxazepam, do not know exact dates approx 1-2 per week, although many months without any in between) Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus arbor Posted July 17, 2022 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 17, 2022 Dear @OnmywayThank you for your support. It really helps 🙏 I hope the fatigue you're dealing with lifts soon. Could it be any wonder that you'd be exhausted. 2 things: the stress of w/d and the physical push to recover. I send you hugs, and a ton of commiseration! Arbor Zoloft: 1995 - 2015 Prozac: 2015 - 2018 (tapered from 40mg x day on July 31 to 30mg on August 31 to 20mg on September 31 to 10mg October 31 to 0mg on December 15, 2018 Gabapentin: 2016 to 2019 (tapered from 300mg x day to 150mg on August 31, 2019 to 75mg on September 15 to 50mg on September 31 to 25ishmg on October 15 to 0mg on December 1, 2019 Enalapril: 2010 - 2019 Lipitor: 2017 -2017 Metformin: 2000 - 2020 Liothyronine: 2007 - 2019 Levothyroxine: 2000 - 2022 Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus arbor Posted July 17, 2022 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 17, 2022 Dear @Healingcontinues--It's so good of you to share here. Perhaps there has been nothing so sustaining for me as the words of compassion such as yours. On 7/16/2022 at 1:06 AM, Healingcontinues said: On days like this I feel like I am pushing water up hill too. Going to have to dig extra deep for the resilience and hope of recovery today. I want to share back that I still believe w/d will get better. The sleepless nights can seem unbearable--as if the hours are draining our life in front of us. In spite of everything I believe you will recover. I'll hold the belief for you when your brain is too wearied by w/d to do much more than endure. Hugs to you, Arbor 1 Zoloft: 1995 - 2015 Prozac: 2015 - 2018 (tapered from 40mg x day on July 31 to 30mg on August 31 to 20mg on September 31 to 10mg October 31 to 0mg on December 15, 2018 Gabapentin: 2016 to 2019 (tapered from 300mg x day to 150mg on August 31, 2019 to 75mg on September 15 to 50mg on September 31 to 25ishmg on October 15 to 0mg on December 1, 2019 Enalapril: 2010 - 2019 Lipitor: 2017 -2017 Metformin: 2000 - 2020 Liothyronine: 2007 - 2019 Levothyroxine: 2000 - 2022 Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now