Wardy4022: amitriptyline severe reaction

[Wardy4022]

Thankyou cat. I saw a phyciatrist. Because my doctor referred me and if I refuse they'll just say I don't want help. So I went.

 

Obviously gave me antidepressants. 

 

Offered me a antipsychotic for sleep

 

Then told me to go inpatient and put on antipsychotics.

 

I couldn't if I wanted to the burning in my brain right from the top middle all across the back is excruciating the pulling all if it in my head, skull, brain it all feels severely properly damaged 😭 the nerves, the tingling and burning. My head is so so bad I could chop my own head of just to stop it.

 

My head is bent to one side with this pain and pulling it feels like there's something in the entire left side of my brain. It all feels so incredibly bad and incredibly wrong 😭

 

On my qeeg I had all where this burning and sensations are the exact same areas are bright red as in too much activity. 

 

When it happened and I'm telling my family and pointing to the areas of my head saying this happened here and this here on the qeeg you can actually see abnormal activity in the same areas I'm saying. None of this is normal, not one bit of it 😭💔💔💔

 

I'm so simple, I can get on here, but trying to do something online I just look blankly and try to get scared. I try to play solitaire on my phone and I'm so slow but my brain and eyes won't even follow moving the cards. I try to freak out but I can't.

 

My body and brain feel so so damaged 😭

[Wardy4022]

4 hours ago, Rw80 said:

I’m the same as you I decided to go inpatient psychiatric ward to keep myself safe, I’ve been here for 2 weeks now. 

What have they said to you? Are you back on meds. It's horrible all I want is to live but I don't want to live in this state, I want to be as I was. What am I supposed to do 😭

[getofflex]

Hello, Wardy, I'm struggling myself today as well, so just wanted to offer you this link.  These drugs really mess us up, but in time, we slowly heal and get better.  Please read some of the success stories, and also this link will help.  The success stories are on the home page.  

 

Techniques for Managing Withdrawal

 

What is Happening in Your Brain? (Explains why recovery takes so long)

[Wardy4022]

1 minute ago, getofflex said:

Hello, Wardy, I'm struggling myself today as well, so just wanted to offer you this link.  These drugs really mess us up, but in time, we slowly heal and get better.  Please read some of the success stories, and also this link will help.  The success stories are on the home page.  

 

Techniques for Managing Withdrawal

 

What is Happening in Your Brain? (Explains why recovery takes so long)

Thankyou 🙏 I'm sorry you're struggling too. 

 

Every second is this unexplainable feeling of just wanting to zip everything off and jump out as myself like I was before. I try and get anxious and feel a burning tingling in my stomach for about half a second then it just stops. But this physically feeling head stuff is unbelievable. I just lay squirming in my own skin with wet cloths on my head 😞 14 months lost already to a week on some tablets. 

 

I heard that the doctor that prescribed me them has now retired. So she'll be enjoying her retirement and Christmas and I'm stuck like this 💔 I can't even get comfy because I'm that uncomfortable in my own brain and body 😞 it's my poor mum she must have said and texting you will get better over a million times in this year. 

 

Thankyou getofflex, I hope you're feeling better soon x

[getofflex]

I don't know if this applies, but it might help.  Here is a link to search results for the symptoms you seem to be describing.  

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/search/?&q=akathisia&type=forums_topic&nodes=8&search_and_or=and&search_in=titles

[Altostrata]

On 12/6/2022 at 1:01 PM, Wardy4022 said:

Thank you, yes I meant the signature. I've added the citalopram.

 

With the diazepam I was prescribed it on the 28th October. I was prescribed 2mg 3x a day, but didn't take them as prescribed as didn't want 3 a day. I had 42 tablets and still have 14 left. So I've had 28 tablets in total between 28th oct and Dec 4th.  Tried not to take them on consecutive days either.

 

My symptoms I have now are from a couple of days from stopping the amitriptyline, so about 20th Oct and there's no let up in them for 8 weeks now

 

@Wardy4022 You were taking citalopram long enough to get withdrawal, but according to your signature, you did not feel withdrawal effects for the 6 months after you went off it in April 2022, when you tried amitriptyline. You were not taking amitriptyline long enough to get withdrawal from it.

 

You said you were given amitriptyline for pain in October 2022. From what condition were you feeling pain?

 

You may also be suffering withdrawal syndrome from going off diazepam in early December 2022. Diazepam has a long half-life and you don't have to take it every day for your body to become adapted to it. If I were you, I'd request a prescription of 1mg diazepam for your current symptoms.

[Wardy4022]

Hi,

 

Yes that's right

 

I didn't get any withdrawal from the citalopram for the months after I stopped.

 

I was given the amitriptyline for chronic lower back pain and shooting nerve pain down my left leg when I'd done too much

 

I'd tried a chiropractor and physio for the pain, had an MRI on my spine which was ok but these hadn't worked.

 

It was a long time before I returned to the doctor after the MRI and she looked on my records and it was suggested from the physio that because they couldn't find anything that could be causing the pain it could be 'fibromyalgia' 

 

So that's why it was amitriptyline I was prescribed as she said it was first line treatment for fibromyalgia. I didn't have any other symptoms except the lower back pain and nerve shooting pain.

 

I had a severe reaction to the amitriptyline which caused these symptoms I'm still suffering from now.

 

The diazepam was prescribed to try and ease these symptoms that I already had from the amitriptyline but it didn't work, so that's why I stopped taking them. The symptoms didn't worsen after stopping the diazepam. 

 

 

[Kostas]

What if your physical pain was actually a wd symptom from citalopram?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Since all tests been Negative?

 

It happened also to me ...!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Wardy4022]

Hi Kostas,

 

Id had the pain for years, it was a long standing chronic thing even while on the citalopram x

[Altostrata]

If I were you, I'd request a prescription of 1mg diazepam for your current symptoms.

[David081294]

11 hours ago, Wardy4022 said:

Hi,

 

Yes that's right

 

I didn't get any withdrawal from the citalopram for the months after I stopped.

 

I was given the amitriptyline for chronic lower back pain and shooting nerve pain down my left leg when I'd done too much

 

I'd tried a chiropractor and physio for the pain, had an MRI on my spine which was ok but these hadn't worked.

 

It was a long time before I returned to the doctor after the MRI and she looked on my records and it was suggested from the physio that because they couldn't find anything that could be causing the pain it could be 'fibromyalgia' 

 

So that's why it was amitriptyline I was prescribed as she said it was first line treatment for fibromyalgia. I didn't have any other symptoms except the lower back pain and nerve shooting pain.

 

I had a severe reaction to the amitriptyline which caused these symptoms I'm still suffering from now.

 

The diazepam was prescribed to try and ease these symptoms that I already had from the amitriptyline but it didn't work, so that's why I stopped taking them. The symptoms didn't worsen after stopping the diazepam. 

 

 

Hey Wardy is there anyway to contact you other than here? I have the same situation

[Wardy4022]

On 12/14/2023 at 9:39 PM, David081294 said:

Hey Wardy is there anyway to contact you other than here? I have the same situation

Hey I've messaged you 

[Wardy4022]

I just don't understand at all why nobody believes people that are damaged by these drugs.

 

The state of me and my dad said to me last night he was starting an antidepressant because he felt down, he'd really risk this because he feels down.

 

He could lose me to this and he just says ah well. Then tells me that 💔💔💔

 

The state of me for 14 months 😭😭😭😭

He's seen me, he cried the first few times.

 

Everyone believes the dangers of illegal drugs so why not these. They're all chemicals. All drugs are, prescription or otherwise. I don't understand it 😭💔

[Catina7]

It's unfortunate that people are not believed; hopefully one day that will change.  People are brainwashed to think these drugs are "safe and effective," and the damage they do seems to be swept under the rug.  We DO believe you here and understand exactly what has happened to you as a result of the amitriptyline.  I hope you at least know that you have support here and feel validated regarding what you're going through.  You're not alone, always remember that.

 

I strongly feel that in time you will improve, so don't lose hope!

 

Hugs,

Catina ❤️

 

 

 

  

[Wardy4022]

My family are admitting me to the phyciatric unit as impatient where I'm going to get fed a nice cocktail of an antiphycotic and an antidepressant 😭 even though the phyciatrist says Im not phycotic 

 

One week of an antidepressant for this 😭😭😭😭15 months the same suffering. I give up. I hope I die in there 💔💔💔💔 

 

My face is hanging my jaw is hanging I can't even clench it together, can't feel my face at all make an expression. Can't feel my tongue or teeth, I just pray to die every night nothing inside. Can barely speak, utterly personalityless no emotion. I don't recognise my family, my home, no memories and this is before going in there, no thoughts 😭😭😭😭 god please let me go now 💔💔 enough is enough 

[Wardy4022]

I said to my dad look online at these medications and what they do. I got shouted at and told not to look online.

 

Ignorance is bliss. People's complete ignorance destroys other people 😭😭😭😭 💔

[David081294]

4 minutes ago, Wardy4022 said:

I said to my dad look online at these medications and what they do. I got shouted at and told not to look online.

 

Ignorance is bliss. People's complete ignorance destroys other people 😭😭😭😭 💔

****....Don't go there Sally you know you can only get worse I don't understand what someone with a brain injury has to do in such a place to get more brain disabling pills.. 

[Catina7]

35 minutes ago, Wardy4022 said:

My family are admitting me to the phyciatric unit

 

@Wardy4022, who specifically in your family is doing this?  Is there anyone close to you that can advocate for you, or are you alone in all this?

[Comfyquilt]

@Wardy4022 I am so so incredibly sorry for your suffering. I am holding space for you dear one ❤️

 

is there anyway you could perhaps book a consult with Dr. Mark Horowitz and have your family on the line? He may be able to shed some light on this situation for both you and your family. I know he is in UK but he does consultations if you are outside of the NHS!

 

lots of love to you 

[Wardy4022]

1 hour ago, Catina7 said:

 

@Wardy4022, who specifically in your family is doing this?  Is there anyone close to you that can advocate for you, or are you alone in all this?

My husband mum and dad 😭

[Wardy4022]

1 hour ago, David081294 said:

****....Don't go there Sally you know you can only get worse I don't understand what someone with a brain injury has to do in such a place to get more brain disabling pills.. 

I've no choice they say I don't want help and to get better otherwise. 

[Comfyquilt]

@Wardy4022 Dr Horowitz is a psych in the NHS but he understands WD and these adverse reactions. He has a clinic in the UK. I would really explore this as a possibility for yourself. You could try reaching out to him ❤️

[Wardy4022]

Just now, Comfyquilt said:

@Wardy4022 Dr Horowitz is a psych in the NHS but he understands WD and these adverse reactions. He has a clinic in the UK. I would really explore this as a possibility for yourself. You could try reaching out to him ❤️

Thankyou ❤️ nobody will listen. I don't have a say at all. The crisis team are coming tomorrow then that's it 😭

[Comfyquilt]

@Wardy4022 I’m so sorry ❤️‍🩹 perhaps you could even email him tonight and just let him know your story. He may be able to follow up somehow if you are in the UK. Worth a shot  

[David081294]

Just now, Wardy4022 said:

I've no choice they say I don't want help and to get better otherwise. 

But you won't get better there!!! Only worse that's a fact, your body and brain has already declined those chemicals and killed a lot of cells in your brain what you think will happen if you take more? I haven't heard of someone o damaged from poison and taking more poison healed him.. those are facts and your family should know that , you think it cant get worse, but trust me it can, and if thy want that 10% that's left of you go down to 1% or less .. go ahead just don't say I didn't warned them, it's exactly what happnd to me and now my whole family cries what a mistake they've done, we both are injuerd from those chemicals tell them to talk to me or christian forbear about the dangers of those pills, there are many proofs to that. If they won't listen they might as well say goodbye to you right now coz that place is only gonna get you worse and they can lose you completely.  I care about you and I know you since  this happend to you , I know you are not thinking straight because of that injury, but do not go there, they can't force you to go, you are not psychotic or any danger to youself or to others and you psychiatric said that so , as long as you don't want to go you won't. Stand on your back legs and be strong. For yourself if you want to save what's left of that brain

[Catina7]

4 minutes ago, Wardy4022 said:

The crisis team are coming tomorrow

 

Maybe you can try explaining your situation with someone on the crisis team.  

 

Does anyone other than us on this site believe what has happened to you?  Anyone at all?  

[Catina7]

Perhaps you can check this site that provides mental health advocacy:

 

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/advocacy/legal-rights-to-advocacy/

[FireflyFyte]

I am not overly familiar with crisis teams in the UK (I am based in the United States) but from the reading I have done, it seems like part of their work is to assess whether or not a person needs to be hospitalized so I would work on advocating for yourself and explaining why you don't think being admitted will help you currently.

 

As comfyquilt mentioned, maybe Dr. Horowitz is an option that you can explore.

[Chompoo]

@Wardy4022 don't give up. I took only ONE pill of antidepressant before coming down an immediate adverse reaction. One year later, I'm still not 100%. Have been to many many doctors and done many many tests and scans. Finally, I got a diagnosis. And I'm making progress in healing myself.

 

I suggest you do this urine test and work with a naturopath / holistic doctor.
https://smartnutrition.co.uk/shop/great-plains-oat-organic-acids-test/

You can recover from this one day.

[Wardy4022]

12 hours ago, David081294 said:

But you won't get better there!!! Only worse that's a fact, your body and brain has already declined those chemicals and killed a lot of cells in your brain what you think will happen if you take more? I haven't heard of someone o damaged from poison and taking more poison healed him.. those are facts and your family should know that , you think it cant get worse, but trust me it can, and if thy want that 10% that's left of you go down to 1% or less .. go ahead just don't say I didn't warned them, it's exactly what happnd to me and now my whole family cries what a mistake they've done, we both are injuerd from those chemicals tell them to talk to me or christian forbear about the dangers of those pills, there are many proofs to that. If they won't listen they might as well say goodbye to you right now coz that place is only gonna get you worse and they can lose you completely.  I care about you and I know you since  this happend to you , I know you are not thinking straight because of that injury, but do not go there, they can't force you to go, you are not psychotic or any danger to youself or to others and you psychiatric said that so , as long as you don't want to go you won't. Stand on your back legs and be strong. For yourself if you want to save what's left of that brain

My husband will take my daughter and go if I don't 💔 I've lost everything anyway 😭

[Wardy4022]

Crisis team are coming now but the bed is already being sorted by the phyciatrist. These are coming to 'support' me today

 

Thanks guys

 

There's nothing left to destroy anyway 💔

 

I can't even lift my body up 

 

No memories, thoughts, emotions, sense, hunger, thirst, expression, laughter

 

It's all already gone anyway can't even be sad or cry, can't be angry. I don't even care, just slumped over. They could throw me in the fire and I wouldn't move or care or scream.

 

Who I was is gone, 15 months ago. There's nobody left to destroy. They can do what they want be because I'm dead anyway 💔

[Wardy4022]

I'm sorry to my baby girl. I'm so sorry 😭

[Len189]

Im very sorry to hear what you are going through! But the fact that you are writing your heartbreaking message here shows that you are still fighting and that you are not lost, not at all, even though it may feel like it. Things can and will get better! But more drugs will, in all likelihood, make matters worse. I hope you can get out of this situation with the psychiatric unit. Your daughter knows or will someday know how hard you are fighting in this period of your life.

[David081294]

4 hours ago, Wardy4022 said:

My husband will take my daughter and go if I don't 💔 I've lost everything anyway 😭

So you have 2 options, don't go and your husband will go away, or go and get more damaged and then he will go away too... think of yourself here please. THEY CANT HELP YOU THERE, ITS ONLY MORE CHEMICALS. 

[Wardy4022]

I just can't take anymore 😭

 

15 months every time I lay down it's like a huge explosion in my chest and the same sensation goes through my entire peripheral nervous system to my toes fingers right through my hollow body. I can't feel muscles or move, no warmth no comfort no feelings just stuck in a hollow head with images and monologue

 

I don't even sleep I just go into the hollow head with it going around and around

 

I'm too tired I can't fight anymore, the head ringing and nerve pain. I can't get any relief I can't clench my jaw or tense muscles because I can't feel them. All I have is loud monologue and images

 

I don't want to do anymore I can't live like this anymore

 

I can't even recognize my mum, daughter and husband. I have no human emotions.

 

I can't hear, see properly or smell anything with no skin sensation at all

 

I don't even experience tiredness or hunger, my body won't move properly and feels physically awful

 

I just can't anymore I just can't and I don't want to.

 

All this stuff without me in here to help 

 

I can't even deep breath because I can't feel it inside like nothing to deep breath too

 

I feel such a damaged freak I don't feel human anymore. The back of my head feels deformed with the burning, pulling, nerves, like my empty brain moving. My frontal lobe is dead and tingling, my face feels dead as rubber like. All the nerves tingling around my ears temples my eyebrows hanging down 

 

I don't want to suffer like this anymore 😭 I don't want to 💔💔💔💔💔💔

 

15 months suffering 24/7, it's not humane to just keep suffering like this shuffling outside. I can't do anything to relieve anything. 

 

I'm still unable to play a computer game I just stare at it unable to remember or plan or think just staring into it suffering. 

 

It's all the same as the day it happened exactly the same, all at the same intensity

 

It's absolutely unliveable. I can't laugh, get angry or frustrated or mad just to relieve something just to shout and scream I can't do it my brain won't do it 

 

I beg my family just to let me go now. My last breath would be a relief. I just need to go now 😭😭😭😭

[Wardy4022]

2 hours ago, David081294 said:

So you have 2 options, don't go and your husband will go away, or go and get more damaged and then he will go away too... think of yourself here please. THEY CANT HELP YOU THERE, ITS ONLY MORE CHEMICALS. 

If he went I'd have to go into care somewhere. I don't know what to do at home, where anything is. I can't online shop for food. I couldn't do anything if someone broke in, I can't organise bills or anything. I just can't think at all. I wander around leaving all the doors open to outside. I've begged them not to keep me alive like this absolutely begged 💔 all this stuff wrong with me and I'd be ok if it was still me but I can't explain how it's not me anymore. My memory, my emotions, my everything, personality, humour, mind all what made me me isn't there anymore 😭💔 I don't recognise my name on letters and things. Ive no connection with it at all just suffering burning and absolute hollow. I ask myself questions in my head like who have you worked with, name your family but there's nothing there 😭😭😭

 

I even have to ask what day it is.

 

This is 15 months later, and I still can't add up in my head, I have to try and count on my fingers

 

This doesn't get better for me 😭😭